1. All right.
Here's the bet.Copy !req
2. For 10 bucks...Copy !req
3. I'll drink this much
of anything.Copy !req
4. Anything?Copy !req
5. Anything.Copy !req
6. As long as it's something
you can eat.Copy !req
7. Okay? Only stuff
from the kitchen.Copy !req
8. Nothing from the bathroom
and nothing from the garage.Copy !req
9. Okay.Copy !req
10. And it has
to be food, okay?Copy !req
11. Nothing
from under the sink.Copy !req
12. Okay? No cleansers,
no detergent.Copy !req
13. No furniture polish,
and no cut up bits of sponge.Copy !req
14. Okay.Copy !req
15. I'm just trying
to win ten bucks here.Copy !req
16. I don't wanna die.Copy !req
17. All right,
now put on...Copy !req
18. The blindfold.Copy !req
19. I don't want
to mess up my hair.Copy !req
20. All right, and now step
into the soundproof booth.Copy !req
21. I'm trusting you guys.Copy !req
22. Okay, put in some mustard
and some ipecac.Copy !req
23. It'll make him barf.Copy !req
24. Don't make him barf!
My mom cooks dinner in here!Copy !req
25. If we're not trying
to make him barf,Copy !req
26. then why are we
doing this?Copy !req
27. I can hear everything
you guys are saying.Copy !req
28. Come on, Bill!Copy !req
29. Quit listening!Copy !req
30. I can't help it.Copy !req
31. Then hum
so you can't hear us.Copy !req
32. Cayenne pepper.Copy !req
33. Ooh! Good one!Copy !req
34. Pass me the pickle juice.Copy !req
35. You know, my cousinCopy !req
36. once drank an entire jar
of pickle juice.Copy !req
37. He had to sit on the toilet
for ten hours.Copy !req
38. Oh, god,
that's nasty!Copy !req
39. Oh, this
is gonna be great.Copy !req
40. Salt...Copy !req
41. Sardines...Copy !req
42. Aw!
That's disgusting.Copy !req
43. Oh, man!Copy !req
44. Vinegar! Mmm.Copy !req
45. - Wait, wait...
- Vinegar!Copy !req
46. Soy sauce.Copy !req
47. Soy sauce!Copy !req
48. Chili!Copy !req
49. For texture.Copy !req
50. - That's disgusting!
- Exactly.Copy !req
51. And just a little
bit of jelly.Copy !req
52. Some dairy creamer.Copy !req
53. And to
top it all off...Copy !req
54. A couple
of afterdinner mints.Copy !req
55. All right.Copy !req
56. - Now mix it up.
- All right.Copy !req
57. Oh, god!Copy !req
58. Oh, it's bubbling.Copy !req
59. That's disgusting!Copy !req
60. All right.Copy !req
61. Ouch!Copy !req
62. It's showtime!Copy !req
63. Let me see
the money first.Copy !req
64. Come on,
drink up already.Copy !req
65. Don't rush me.Copy !req
66. Eww!Copy !req
67. It's not bad.Copy !req
68. Eww!
Oh, come on!Copy !req
69. It's making me sick!Copy !req
70. Hey, look!
Maplefarm RealtyCopy !req
71. gave everyone in
the neighborhood free pumpkins!Copy !req
72. Wasn't that nice?Copy !req
73. Well, there's nothing
nice about it.Copy !req
74. It's a cheap way
to get customers.Copy !req
75. They give you
a 20 cent pumpkin,Copy !req
76. you give them ten grand
to sell the house.Copy !req
77. Some deal.Copy !req
78. Well, I just think
it was nice.Copy !req
79. Ooh.Copy !req
80. Hey, can I have
the prize?Copy !req
81. My bowl... my prize.Copy !req
82. Come on.Copy !req
83. Sam, what are you
trying to do, kill me?Copy !req
84. Sorry.Copy !req
85. Hey, Sammy, what are you
going out as for Halloween?Copy !req
86. I-I'm not going out.Copy !req
87. Bill and I are gonna see
"The Nude Bomb" at Parkway.Copy !req
88. Hey, that's a dirty movie.Copy !req
89. Dad, it's the
"Get Smart" movie.Copy !req
90. Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.Copy !req
91. You're not going
trick or treating?Copy !req
92. Mom!
I-I'm in ninth grade!Copy !req
93. I know,
but you went out last year.Copy !req
94. Yeah, well, last year
I was in junior high.Copy !req
95. Yeah, but Sam...Copy !req
96. Honey, the boy's 14 now.Copy !req
97. He can miss a night of walking
around the neighborhoodCopy !req
98. beggin' like a tramp.Copy !req
99. Halloween's
for little kids anyway.Copy !req
100. Hey, Lindsay, you're still
gonna hand out candyCopy !req
101. with me, aren't you?Copy !req
102. Remember how much fun
we had last yearCopy !req
103. looking at all the little kids
in their costumes?Copy !req
104. Yeah, Mom.
I told you I was going to.Copy !req
105. Well, good.Copy !req
106. 'Cause we're gonna have
a really good time this year,Copy !req
107. I promise.Copy !req
108. Hey, Lindsay.Copy !req
109. Long time no see.Copy !req
110. I saw you out here
yesterday.Copy !req
111. Why are you
wearing a hat?Copy !req
112. It's the day
before Halloween.Copy !req
113. Is that your costume?Copy !req
114. It kinda sucks.Copy !req
115. No, it's Devil's Day.Copy !req
116. Each year, the seniors
bring in hair removal foamCopy !req
117. and spray it
on freshmen's heads,Copy !req
118. then all your hair
falls out.Copy !req
119. - Really?
- No.Copy !req
120. That stupid rumor's
been around for years.Copy !req
121. Yeah, I know.
I was just goofin' on 'em.Copy !req
122. No, you weren't!Copy !req
123. Yes, I was.Copy !req
124. - Hey, Lindsay.
- Hey, Millie.Copy !req
125. What are you doing
tomorrow night?Copy !req
126. My church is having
a Halloween dance.Copy !req
127. You wanna come?Copy !req
128. Oh.
Well, I would go,Copy !req
129. but I gotta hand out candy
with my mom.Copy !req
130. Oh. Okay.Copy !req
131. Do you want some Lik-M-Aid?Copy !req
132. No. You're gonna
eat candy now?Copy !req
133. Millie, it's 7:30
in the morning.Copy !req
134. It's just Lik-M-Aid.Copy !req
135. It makes my spit
taste like fruit juice.Copy !req
136. Hey, check it out.
It's Lindsay.Copy !req
137. Hey, Lindsay.Copy !req
138. What's up?Copy !req
139. Hey, Daniel.Copy !req
140. Hey, Kim.Copy !req
141. Hello, Brain.Copy !req
142. So this is your
bus stop?Copy !req
143. Yeah.Copy !req
144. We've had the same bus stop
since kindergarten.Copy !req
145. How fast does your car go?Copy !req
146. 150, if I hook up
the nitrous tank.Copy !req
147. Your car is really loud.Copy !req
148. My dad says
you need a muffler.Copy !req
149. Once he even threw a rock
at you when you drove by.Copy !req
150. But I guess
you didn't hear it.Copy !req
151. He threw a rock at me?Copy !req
152. Hey, kid, what the hell
are you eating?Copy !req
153. Is that laundry soap?Copy !req
154. It's Lik-M-Aid.
Want some?Copy !req
155. Millie...Copy !req
156. Um, I'll pass.Copy !req
157. Uh, yeah.
We gotta get goin'.Copy !req
158. I'd give you
a ride, Linds,Copy !req
159. but I got an engine block
in the backseat.Copy !req
160. Yeah.Copy !req
161. Mmm!Copy !req
162. Thanks for the candy,
skinny.Copy !req
163. See?
My dad's right.Copy !req
164. He needs a muffler.Copy !req
165. So are you guys going
to Sara's party tomorrow night?Copy !req
166. Yeah, but I think
I'm going to Jim's first.Copy !req
167. Hey!Copy !req
168. If it isn't the Amelia Earhart
of McKinley High.Copy !req
169. What does that mean?Copy !req
170. Well, you head to class,
but you never seem to get there.Copy !req
171. Mr. Rosso, could you
not humiliate meCopy !req
172. in front
of the whole school?Copy !req
173. Come on, Lindsay,
don't turn me into the man here.Copy !req
174. I'm just trying
to help you.Copy !req
175. And if, when you graduate,
it turns out I did help youCopy !req
176. but you hate me,
I'm okay with that.Copy !req
177. I gotta get to class.Copy !req
178. See?
It's workin' already.Copy !req
179. Embarrassing.Copy !req
180. That's the only word
I can think ofCopy !req
181. to describe these booksCopy !req
182. you've chosen
to do your reports on.Copy !req
183. "Al Jaffee's Snappy Answers
to Stupid Questions."Copy !req
184. The novelization
of "Star Wars."Copy !req
185. "Yes, I Can,"Copy !req
186. the autobiography
of Sammy Davis, Jr.Copy !req
187. Uh...Copy !req
188. "Crime and Punishment"
is a good exampleCopy !req
189. of the kind of book
you should be reading now.Copy !req
190. In it, Fyodor Dostoevsky
was attempting to createCopy !req
191. what some would call
an existential enigma...Copy !req
192. a protagonist
who was both a nihilistCopy !req
193. and a moralist.Copy !req
194. Now, I know this sounds
confusing to you all,Copy !req
195. but soon you'll all know
what I'm talking about,Copy !req
196. because I expect you to have
the first halfCopy !req
197. of this book read
by Monday.Copy !req
198. It's time to grow up, people.Copy !req
199. - You like that?
- No.Copy !req
200. - Does it get you hot?
- Would you knock it off?Copy !req
201. You're making me sick.Copy !req
202. Hey, why don't you
make out with Nicky thereCopy !req
203. and we'll call it
a foursome?Copy !req
204. Yeah, and why don't you
make out with my buttCopy !req
205. and we'll call it love?Copy !req
206. Hey, you guys, be cool.
The narc's here.Copy !req
207. Yeah. Watch out,
or I'll bust you.Copy !req
208. Hey, man,
I ain't joking.Copy !req
209. I heard about what you did
to Brian Stoker.Copy !req
210. Saw him smoking a "j"
outside the quick fillCopy !req
211. and went inside
and told some cops?Copy !req
212. Brian's
in prison now, man,Copy !req
213. and I heard his brother's
looking for you.Copy !req
214. What?
I didn't do that.Copy !req
215. Yeah. I know.Copy !req
216. I was just messing
with you.Copy !req
217. She got me
with that same joke last week.Copy !req
218. It's kinda funny though.Copy !req
219. Hilarious.Copy !req
220. Um, hey, what are you
doin' for Halloween?Copy !req
221. Oh, I have to hand out candy
with my mom.Copy !req
222. I know, it...
sounds really dorky.Copy !req
223. - Um, she gets really into it.
- Oh, Lindsay.Copy !req
224. I don't think
that sounds dorky at all.Copy !req
225. You know what?
At least she's bein' nice.Copy !req
226. Just because
you hate your motherCopy !req
227. doesn't mean that
everybody else does, okay?Copy !req
228. No, everybody
hates her mother.Copy !req
229. Well, what
are you guys doing?Copy !req
230. Oh, well, uh, Kim,
Nick and I are goin' out.Copy !req
231. We're borrowing my uncle's
bigass Caddy, and...Copy !req
232. We thought maybe you'd like
to come with us.Copy !req
233. Oh, you mean
like a... double date?Copy !req
234. If that's what
you need to call itCopy !req
235. in your diary, princess.Copy !req
236. I can't.Copy !req
237. Your loss.Copy !req
238. Oh, the bell.
Let's not be late for class.Copy !req
239. Yeah, right.Copy !req
240. Hey, Lindsay...Copy !req
241. I-You know, I think it's-
I think it's niceCopy !req
242. that you're helping your mom
hand out candy.Copy !req
243. So I'll see you later.Copy !req
244. Yeah.Copy !req
245. See you later.Copy !req
246. This is gonna take, like,
a trillion years to read.Copy !req
247. I don't even know
what it's about.Copy !req
248. Whitman said
it's about an ax murderer.Copy !req
249. That sounds kinda cool.Copy !req
250. I guarantee you
it's not gonna be cool.Copy !req
251. I mean, look how small
the printing is.Copy !req
252. Uh, perhaps
you've never heardCopy !req
253. of a little thing
called CliffsNotes?Copy !req
254. You still have
to read them.Copy !req
255. Whitman is such a jerk!
You know?Copy !req
256. She says you have
to be young adults.Copy !req
257. We're not adults.Copy !req
258. We're kids
until we turn 18.Copy !req
259. Whoa, whoa.Copy !req
260. Maybe you are, but when I
hit 13, I became a man.Copy !req
261. That's only in your temple,
Neal, not in the real world.Copy !req
262. Hey!Copy !req
263. We should go trick or treating
tomorrow night.Copy !req
264. In case you haven't noticed,
we're a little old.Copy !req
265. No, we're not, okay?Copy !req
266. We went trick or treating
last year.Copy !req
267. Come on,
let's go out tomorrow night.Copy !req
268. No way, I'm going
to the JC's haunted house.Copy !req
269. The Hot Dog on a Stick girls
from the mall are workin' it.Copy !req
270. - The tall ones?
- Yeah.Copy !req
271. Judy.Copy !req
272. - They're hot.
- Okay.Copy !req
273. - Judy!
- Tootie, tootie!Copy !req
274. All right,
then why don't weCopy !req
275. go trick or treating
before that?Copy !req
276. Why don't we
just go buy candy?Copy !req
277. Oh, yeah,
that's really fun.Copy !req
278. Come on!
It'll be a blast.Copy !req
279. It's better
than sitting at homeCopy !req
280. reading some
stupid Russian book.Copy !req
281. Sure.Copy !req
282. Okay, yeah, I-Copy !req
283. yeah, I guess I could
you know, weCopy !req
284. yeah, I guess so.Copy !req
285. I don't know.Copy !req
286. You're never gonna dress up
as Groucho again?Copy !req
287. Well that's the most ridiculous
thing I've ever heard!Copy !req
288. Groucho sucks.Copy !req
289. Tommy!Copy !req
290. Honey.Copy !req
291. Lindsay!Copy !req
292. Hey, Lindsay.Copy !req
293. What's up?Copy !req
294. Millie, who is that?Copy !req
295. Who?Copy !req
296. Millie!Copy !req
297. Man, you weren't
supposed to see.Copy !req
298. That's Tommy,
my secret love.Copy !req
299. We met this summer
at church camp.Copy !req
300. You have a boyfriend?Copy !req
301. Lindsay, you've gotta
keep this a secret.Copy !req
302. I mean, Tommy and I
don't even French kiss yet.Copy !req
303. Tommy says that if you do
before you've been going outCopy !req
304. for six months,
you go to Hell.Copy !req
305. Why didn't you
tell me?Copy !req
306. I didn't want
to make you feel bad...Copy !req
307. Since you don't
have a boyfriend and all.Copy !req
308. Come on, no way!Copy !req
309. I'm telling you, man.
It's true.Copy !req
310. When I heard him play
at Coble Hall, guy was amazing.Copy !req
311. Whoa, whoa,
so hold on a second.Copy !req
312. What?Copy !req
313. So they're called
Santana, right?Copy !req
314. - Yeah.
- But that guy who's singing...Copy !req
315. Is not Santana?Copy !req
316. No, Santana's
the guitar player.Copy !req
317. Then how did he get them
to name the band after him?Copy !req
318. I don't know, man.Copy !req
319. Maybe he's
just a badass.Copy !req
320. If that's true,
that's amazing.Copy !req
321. Hey, maybe we should
name our band "Desario."Copy !req
322. Hey!Copy !req
323. I'm going out with you guys
tomorrow night.Copy !req
324. Hey!
Hey, that's great!Copy !req
325. Yeah, but what about
your mom?Copy !req
326. How's she gonna hand out candy
all by herself?Copy !req
327. Well, she'll survive.Copy !req
328. Well, well, well.Copy !req
329. He did the mashCopy !req
330. He did the monster mashCopy !req
331. It was a smashCopy !req
332. It was a graveyard smashCopy !req
333. right?Copy !req
334. Hey Mom,Copy !req
335. Neal, Bill, and I decidedCopy !req
336. to go trick or treating
tomorrow night.Copy !req
337. Oh, Sam, that's great!
We have to get you a costume.Copy !req
338. No, I'm gonna make my own.
I'm going out as Gort.Copy !req
339. He's the robot from
"The Day the Earth Stood Still."Copy !req
340. Ooh, Gort!
How exciting!Copy !req
341. Sam, what are you doing?Copy !req
342. You're too old
to go out trick or treating.Copy !req
343. Oh, Harold, stop.Copy !req
344. Well, it's true!Copy !req
345. There was this kid
in my neighborhoodCopy !req
346. when I was growing up,Copy !req
347. Scott Byron.Copy !req
348. Now, he kept on
trick or treatingCopy !req
349. until he was
well into his 20s.Copy !req
350. You know where
he's living now?Copy !req
351. At home,
with his 90-year-old mother.Copy !req
352. He's the laughingstock
of the community.Copy !req
353. Never took a wife,
either.Copy !req
354. I don't think
there's anything wrongCopy !req
355. with acting like a kid
every once in a while.Copy !req
356. I know Lindsay and ICopy !req
357. are gonna have
a great time tomorrow night,Copy !req
358. aren't we, sweetie?Copy !req
359. Yeah, Mom,
we sure are.Copy !req
360. He did the mashCopy !req
361. He did the monster mashCopy !req
362. It was a smashCopy !req
363. It was a graveyard smashCopy !req
364. Then Bill and I
will come by your place.Copy !req
365. And bring pillowcases.
No grocery bags.Copy !req
366. If your bag rips,
you're on your own.Copy !req
367. I'm gonna bring
my plastic pumpkin.Copy !req
368. Ugh, don't bring that.
It gets full after one street.Copy !req
369. Not if I eat the candy
as we go.Copy !req
370. Last time you did that,
you pukedCopy !req
371. before we got past
our bus stop.Copy !req
372. Hey, guys,
I heard you were going outCopy !req
373. for trick or treats
tonight.Copy !req
374. How did you find out
about that?Copy !req
375. Word gets out.
People talk.Copy !req
376. You gotta be
especially careful, though.Copy !req
377. The halloween candy's gonna
be really dangerous this year.Copy !req
378. They say that every year.Copy !req
379. Yeah, but this year
there's a bunch of evil hippiesCopy !req
380. who don't want Reagan
to be president,Copy !req
381. so to disrupt the election,Copy !req
382. they're going to inject
the candy with heroinCopy !req
383. - and turn kids into addicts.
- That's not true.Copy !req
384. You just have to watch out
for pins and razor blades.Copy !req
385. Yeah, and rat hair's
a big one.Copy !req
386. You're gonna find yourself
wishing for rat hair.Copy !req
387. Word on the street
is they're putting a pooCopy !req
388. in funsized candy bar wrappers
and handing those out.Copy !req
389. I love funsized
candy bars.Copy !req
390. Oh, that's stupid.Copy !req
391. Like nobody'd be able
to tell what it really was.Copy !req
392. They dip it
in chocolate firstCopy !req
393. so you can't tell the difference
until it's too late.Copy !req
394. See ya.Copy !req
395. Actually,
it sounds kinda fun.Copy !req
396. Do you mind
if I come with you guys?Copy !req
397. Mom?Copy !req
398. In the kitchen!Copy !req
399. Hey, Lindsay,
where have you been?Copy !req
400. You're gonna miss
the first trick or treaters.Copy !req
401. You know the cutest ones
always come early.Copy !req
402. Yeah, well, I was hanging out
with my friends.Copy !req
403. Lndsay,
Looah! Ow.Copy !req
404. Look at what we're
gonna hand out this year.Copy !req
405. Halloween cookies!Copy !req
406. That's great, Mom.Copy !req
407. What's up
with all the cookies?Copy !req
408. Hey, Sam, I laid your
robot costume out on your bed.Copy !req
409. You didn't rip it,
did you?Copy !req
410. No, but I wrote,
"My son's the cutest boyCopy !req
411. in the whole world"
on the front of it.Copy !req
412. Lindsay, I got you a costume.
Go put it on, sweetie.Copy !req
413. I'm gonna put
these cookies by the door.Copy !req
414. We are gonna have
so much fun!Copy !req
415. Mwah! Mwah!Copy !req
416. I kinda hate when Mom
gets goofy like that.Copy !req
417. Hmm.Copy !req
418. Lookin' for Chaplin,Copy !req
419. I'm only seeing Hitler.Copy !req
420. If I were
the bionic woman...Copy !req
421. What would I wear?Copy !req
422. This is ridiculous.Copy !req
423. I look like Tom Selleck!Copy !req
424. Mom!Copy !req
425. I'm sorry, Steve Austin,
I can't marry you.Copy !req
426. I'm mad at you right now.Copy !req
427. What?Copy !req
428. I'm sorry, I can't hear you.Copy !req
429. Hold on, I'm gonna put the phone
on my bionic ear.Copy !req
430. That's-that's better.Copy !req
431. No, don't talk so loud!Copy !req
432. Don't forget,
I've got bionic hearing.Copy !req
433. No, these are not bionic.Copy !req
434. These are all me.Copy !req
435. Oh, I heard
that crack, pal.Copy !req
436. Oh-oh, it wasn't you?Copy !req
437. Oh, okay,
I guess I'll justCopy !req
438. doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo...Copy !req
439. Oscar Goldman,
it's me, Jaime Sommers.Copy !req
440. Steve Austin is trapped
in the-in the reacting, uh...Copy !req
441. Hi, Mom. Okay.
You can use the phone.Copy !req
442. Oh.
Hey, Lindsay,Copy !req
443. hurry up, honey.Copy !req
444. Our first little visitors
are here!Copy !req
445. Linds?Copy !req
446. Oh! Oh.Copy !req
447. Oh, my...Copy !req
448. What an...
interesting costume.Copy !req
449. Oh, wa-Copy !req
450. here you go.Copy !req
451. All right,
happy Halloween.Copy !req
452. Do you-do you want
another cookie?Copy !req
453. Okay.Copy !req
454. I'm, uh,
I'm here to go outCopy !req
455. for trick or treats
tonight with Sam.Copy !req
456. Oh, you're one
of Sam's frien-Copy !req
457. I am so sorry.
Come on in.Copy !req
458. My gosh!Copy !req
459. Sorry.Copy !req
460. Nice costume.Copy !req
461. You look like Richard Benjamin
in "Westworld."Copy !req
462. Say,
don't you look nice?Copy !req
463. What in the hell
are you supposed to be?Copy !req
464. I'm a guy with a knife
through his head.Copy !req
465. Oh. Well...
Mission accomplished.Copy !req
466. Hey, Mom!Copy !req
467. Mom, I gotta talk to you.Copy !req
468. Get your costume on,
honey.Copy !req
469. The trick or treaters
are here!Copy !req
470. - No, Mom-
- Oh!Copy !req
471. Trick or treat, smell our feet,Copy !req
472. give us something good
to eat.Copy !req
473. If you...Copy !req
474. You guys are both great.Copy !req
475. Come on in!
Get in here!Copy !req
476. Wow, Harris,
that looks really real.Copy !req
477. How do you know
it isn't?Copy !req
478. Oh!Copy !req
479. If I held you any closer,
I'd be in back of ya.Copy !req
480. Hey, cut that out!Copy !req
481. You know, Bill,
you look really lovely.Copy !req
482. I'm Jaime Sommers,
the bionic woman.Copy !req
483. Oh, of course you are!Copy !req
484. What was that?Copy !req
485. Mom...Copy !req
486. I'm gonna go hang out with
my friends a little bit, okay?Copy !req
487. - I'll be back.
- Wait, Lindsay-Copy !req
488. - Mom, I'll be back!
- Sweetie, wait!Copy !req
489. Come on, Lindsay.
Let's go.Copy !req
490. Um, you have
any fake blood around here?Copy !req
491. Sort of wanna freshen up
my wound before we go out.Copy !req
492. What?Copy !req
493. She did what?Copy !req
494. She said it was only gonna
be for a little while.Copy !req
495. She'll be back.Copy !req
496. I know she was really
looking forward to this.Copy !req
497. That's all I can say.Copy !req
498. That daughter of yours
is on thin ice.Copy !req
499. Until she gets back,
would you put this onCopy !req
500. and help me
pass out cookies?Copy !req
501. Oh, for crying
out loud.Copy !req
502. Whoo!Copy !req
503. Don't fall out.Copy !req
504. Boo.Copy !req
505. His plans fell through,
you know?Copy !req
506. I'm sorry.Copy !req
507. She's a rollerCopy !req
508. a high roller, babyCopy !req
509. Will you knock it off,
blondie?Copy !req
510. You're gonna
blow the speakers.Copy !req
511. Oh, I'm sorry, grandpa,Copy !req
512. I'll try not to blow
anything of yours from now on.Copy !req
513. Hey,
what are we gonna do?Copy !req
514. There's this haunted houseCopy !req
515. that's supposed
to be really scary.Copy !req
516. Yeah, hey, that could
be kind of fun, right?Copy !req
517. For who, losers?Copy !req
518. Hey, shut up.Copy !req
519. I like haunted houses.Copy !req
520. I rest my case.Copy !req
521. I don't know, listen.Copy !req
522. We're gonna
just drive around,Copy !req
523. see where
the night takes us.Copy !req
524. Is that cool with you?Copy !req
525. Lindsay?Copy !req
526. Yeah.Copy !req
527. I'm up for anything.Copy !req
528. Right on, kid.Copy !req
529. Hey, I'm really glad
that you decided to come.Copy !req
530. Thanks.Copy !req
531. So am I.Copy !req
532. You two are adorable.Copy !req
533. Mom, look.Copy !req
534. Jessica, come on.
don't stare.Copy !req
535. It's not polite.Copy !req
536. Why is everybody
staring at me?Copy !req
537. I mean, you'd think they never
saw "The Bionic Woman" before.Copy !req
538. They just probably didn't know
she was so hot in real life.Copy !req
539. You- are you-
are you joking?Copy !req
540. You're joking, right?Copy !req
541. You know, I saw
the real Jaime SommersCopy !req
542. at the auto show last year.Copy !req
543. Her boobs
weren't that big.Copy !req
544. Hey, we should go
to the rich neighborhood first.Copy !req
545. They hand out
the best candy.Copy !req
546. That's not true.Copy !req
547. Rich people traditionally
give out the cheapest candy.Copy !req
548. It's how they stay rich.Copy !req
549. I just hope I get some candy
I can eat.Copy !req
550. Yeah, I'm allergic to peanuts,
licorice, and nougat.Copy !req
551. How can you possibly
be allergic to nougat?Copy !req
552. I don't-
I don't know.Copy !req
553. Uh, my doctor says
I'm allergic to more thingsCopy !req
554. than anyone
he's ever seen.Copy !req
555. Then I got dibs
on all your malt balls.Copy !req
556. You can have 'em.Copy !req
557. I like Pixy Stix.Copy !req
558. - Pixy Stix rule.
- No way.Copy !req
559. Chunkys are the best.Copy !req
560. Uh-uh.
Candy corn, my friend.Copy !req
561. I must admit,
I'm a wax lips man myself.Copy !req
562. Trick or treat!Copy !req
563. Why, you're
the cutest things!Copy !req
564. Hey, Harold,
come look!Copy !req
565. Raah!Copy !req
566. Oh, kids!
I was just kidding!Copy !req
567. I'm not really
a vampire.Copy !req
568. I own
a sporting goods store.Copy !req
569. Hey? What's the big idea,
scaring my kids?Copy !req
570. I-I didn't mean to.Copy !req
571. No, I-I'm sorry.
I made him put this on.Copy !req
572. Here, give these
to your children.Copy !req
573. They're homemade.Copy !req
574. Are you crazy?Copy !req
575. I've been lecturing
my kids for weeksCopy !req
576. not to take
unwrapped candy.Copy !req
577. Those cookies could have
razor blades or pins in them.Copy !req
578. I-I wouldn't do that.Copy !req
579. Come on, cowgirl,
enough of this kid stuff.Copy !req
580. Let's head out to the barn
and I'll give youCopy !req
581. a real good roll
in the hay.Copy !req
582. Oh, Harold, not now.Copy !req
583. When?Copy !req
584. I mean, think about it.Copy !req
585. All the people in this town
are real religious,Copy !req
586. but just 'cause
it's Halloween,Copy !req
587. they'll hang pictures
of devils, witches, ghostsCopy !req
588. all over their houses.Copy !req
589. It's a joke.Copy !req
590. Yeah. Yeah, I know.Copy !req
591. It's total white,
middleclass hypocrisy.Copy !req
592. - Right.
- Yeah, right, exactly.Copy !req
593. You wanna know
what I think about it?Copy !req
594. That's lovely, you know.Copy !req
595. Your years in charm school
have really paid off.Copy !req
596. By the way, how are things
going at ass school?Copy !req
597. Getting all "A's.Copy !req
598. Oh.Copy !req
599. Hey, you know
where we should go?Copy !req
600. We could go to the movies.Copy !req
601. There's a new
"Friday the 13th" playing.Copy !req
602. God, Brain!
Why are you so hung upCopy !req
603. about doing something?Copy !req
604. What?
Are we boring to you?Copy !req
605. No, what are you
talking about?Copy !req
606. We should do something.Copy !req
607. We can't just drive around
all night, man.Copy !req
608. Hey, man, we ain't
gonna just drive around.Copy !req
609. It is Halloween.Copy !req
610. We are...Copy !req
611. gonna raise hellCopy !req
612. gonna raise hell,
gonna raise hellCopy !req
613. Trick or treat!Copy !req
614. - Okay.
- Yeah.Copy !req
615. What do you want?Copy !req
616. Uh... Trick or treat.Copy !req
617. Aren't you guys
a little old for this?Copy !req
618. We're only freshmen
in high school.Copy !req
619. High school?
That's too old.Copy !req
620. We're young at heart.Copy !req
621. Ooh, circus peanuts.Copy !req
622. What the hell are you
supposed to be anyway?Copy !req
623. The Tin Man?Copy !req
624. I'm- I'm Gort.Copy !req
625. He's the robot from
"The Day the Earth Stood Still."Copy !req
626. You look like
the fricking Tin Man.Copy !req
627. Uh, ma'am...Copy !req
628. I hope there aren't any peanuts
in these peanuts,Copy !req
629. 'cause if there are,
I could die.Copy !req
630. Good night.Copy !req
631. These are so cute.Copy !req
632. But, you know, Jean,
they train the kidsCopy !req
633. not to take
unwrapped foodstuffs.Copy !req
634. You should see
all the parentsCopy !req
635. who are dumping
the cookies on your lawn.Copy !req
636. They're all covered
with ants.Copy !req
637. What?Copy !req
638. Well, happy Halloween.Copy !req
639. I give up.Copy !req
640. Harold, run up to Farmer Jack
and buy some candy.Copy !req
641. What?
Dressed like this?Copy !req
642. All right.Copy !req
643. Don't answer the door
till I get back.Copy !req
644. Stupid kids' holiday.Copy !req
645. I say we make Lindsay
do it.Copy !req
646. No, I'm going in.Copy !req
647. Hey, no, no, man.
Let me do it, all right?Copy !req
648. - Okay.
- All right.Copy !req
649. Hey, relax.Copy !req
650. It's Halloween.Copy !req
651. We're supposed to do
this stuff.Copy !req
652. Whoo!Copy !req
653. - Whoo!
- Oh!Copy !req
654. Oh, man.
That is so uncool.Copy !req
655. I can't believe
we just did that.Copy !req
656. Yes, congratulations
to us all, indeed.Copy !req
657. I'm so happy I'm not
at the Ted Nugent concert.Copy !req
658. Go.Copy !req
659. - Come on.
- Go ahead, Linds.Copy !req
660. - Go.
- You can do it.Copy !req
661. Come on, you'll be fine.Copy !req
662. - Jeez.
- Go.Copy !req
663. Come on, what are you doing?Copy !req
664. Oh, my...Copy !req
665. - She's so-
- Oh, my god.Copy !req
666. - Come on!
- Come on, Lindsay!Copy !req
667. Happy Halloween.Copy !req
668. This one's for you.Copy !req
669. Oh, look.
It's fun-sized.Copy !req
670. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
671. You guys having
a good time?Copy !req
672. - Yeah.
- Yeah.Copy !req
673. Happy Halloween.Copy !req
674. Um, thank you.Copy !req
675. Uh, I'll eat it-
I'll eat it later.Copy !req
676. Whoo! Whoo!Copy !req
677. You look too good to meCopy !req
678. Your beady eyesCopy !req
679. They cut me in twoCopy !req
680. And I just can't let you beCopy !req
681. Well it's a free-for-allCopy !req
682. And I heard it saidCopy !req
683. You can bet your lifeCopy !req
684. The stakes are high
And so am ICopy !req
685. It's in the air tonightCopy !req
686. It's a free-for-allCopy !req
687. Batter up, baby!Copy !req
688. Watch it, baby!Copy !req
689. It's a free-for-allCopy !req
690. Yeah, it's a free-for-allCopy !req
691. All right, there it is.
Go for it, Weir.Copy !req
692. - Do it already.
- It's coming up.Copy !req
693. - Do it.
- Okay, okay.Copy !req
694. Whoo!
Whoo!Copy !req
695. Great.
Thanks a lot.Copy !req
696. I can't believe this.Copy !req
697. I can't believe the Hot Dog
on a Stick girls saw us.Copy !req
698. That's months of groundwork
down the drain.Copy !req
699. Like they'd ever
go out with you.Copy !req
700. Hey, shut up.
They like me.Copy !req
701. They always give me
free lemonade refills.Copy !req
702. Well, well, well.Copy !req
703. If it isn't
the geek patrol.Copy !req
704. Oh, no, no, no, no, no.Copy !req
705. Oh, my god.Copy !req
706. Hey, Alan.
What's up?Copy !req
707. I don't know whose ass
I want to kick first.Copy !req
708. You better
watch out, Alan.Copy !req
709. We kicked your ass once,
we'll kick it again.Copy !req
710. I don't think so.Copy !req
711. That was three against one.Copy !req
712. Now we got us a fair fight.Copy !req
713. It's time
to settle the score.Copy !req
714. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
715. No, no, no.
I got it. I got it.Copy !req
716. Let's go soap
the school's windows.Copy !req
717. No, look, I say
it's time we get downCopy !req
718. to some serious damage.Copy !req
719. Kenneth?Copy !req
720. Breakfast, anyone?Copy !req
721. Oh, my goodness.Copy !req
722. We don't want
to fight you, Alan.Copy !req
723. You don't have to.Copy !req
724. Just give us your candy
and you're free to go.Copy !req
725. Okay, here.Copy !req
726. Now you, dork.Copy !req
727. Forget it.Copy !req
728. We went through
a lot for this.Copy !req
729. Shut your mouth,
you little girl!Copy !req
730. I'm not a little girl.
I'm a- bionic woman!Copy !req
731. Yeah? Prove it.Copy !req
732. No, cut it out. Stop.Copy !req
733. Just take the candy.
This is my grandpa's coat.Copy !req
734. Ow.
I fell on my knife.Copy !req
735. Come on,
let's get out of here.Copy !req
736. That's it.
That is it!Copy !req
737. This is all your fault.Copy !req
738. I never should have
let you talk me into this.Copy !req
739. I didn't talk you
into anything.Copy !req
740. Oh, well, it sure as hell
wasn't my idea.Copy !req
741. Oh, yeah, you're too cool
getting free lemonade refills.Copy !req
742. Guys!
Let's just stick to the plan.Copy !req
743. Is this thing on straight?Copy !req
744. - Dig in, children.
- Awesome.Copy !req
745. - Thank you.
- You enjoy it.Copy !req
746. All right, jackpot.
Jackpot. Come on.Copy !req
747. - All right, where?
- Ready? Over there!Copy !req
748. Where?Copy !req
749. You're such a little baby.Copy !req
750. You have to have
your little baby's evening.Copy !req
751. Oh, yeah, and going
to some stupid haunted houseCopy !req
752. - is that much better.
- Yeah, and you're stupid.Copy !req
753. - Takes one to know one.
- Yeah, well, you are one.Copy !req
754. Enough, guys.
Come on.Copy !req
755. My bra's chafing.
Let's get home.Copy !req
756. Where? I can't see.Copy !req
757. - Kim, you're blocking my view.
- Incoming!Copy !req
758. Now!Copy !req
759. Awesome, man!
That was so awesome!Copy !req
760. Nailed 'em, baby,
Nailed 'em.Copy !req
761. - That was amazing.
- What?Copy !req
762. - Oh, my god.
- What?Copy !req
763. We just egged
my little brother.Copy !req
764. Oh, my god.Copy !req
765. Oh, my god.Copy !req
766. Wait, stop the car.Copy !req
767. It's just eggs.
He'll be fine.Copy !req
768. No, stop the car.
Please, Daniel.Copy !req
769. Will you just take it easy?
Take it easy.Copy !req
770. Let me out of the car!Copy !req
771. Hey, Daniel,
stop the car, all right?Copy !req
772. Just stop the car.
Let her out.Copy !req
773. Don't get out.
We'll get him.Copy !req
774. Sam?Copy !req
775. Gentlemen,
I'm going home.Copy !req
776. Oh, my god, they're
coming back to finish us off!Copy !req
777. Run for it!Copy !req
778. Let's go cut through
their backyard!Copy !req
779. Sam?Copy !req
780. Sam, I'm sorry.Copy !req
781. Look, get in the car.Copy !req
782. Sam, I'm really sorry.
Please? Come on.Copy !req
783. Let us give you
a ride home, okay?Copy !req
784. Kid, it's not
your sister's fault.Copy !req
785. She didn't even know
it was you.Copy !req
786. Look, she's really,
really upset, kid.Copy !req
787. I swear to god.Copy !req
788. It's true, Sam.
I swear to god.Copy !req
789. Sam! Sam!Copy !req
790. God!Copy !req
791. Hey, is it just me,
or did he seem upset?Copy !req
792. Would you shut up, please?Copy !req
793. Just give her a break,
all right?Copy !req
794. Yep.Copy !req
795. Man, I am
in so much trouble.Copy !req
796. Just take me home.Copy !req
797. No, hey, why don't you
just stick around-Copy !req
798. Just take her home,
already. God.Copy !req
799. I told you
she'd be a drag.Copy !req
800. Why don't you calm down?Copy !req
801. Trick or treat!Copy !req
802. Oh, my god.
Sam, what happened!Copy !req
803. - I got egged.
- What's the matter?Copy !req
804. - What's going on?
- Sam got attacked.Copy !req
805. - Are you all right?
- Did you get egg in your eyes?Copy !req
806. - I'm fine.
- Oh, my god.Copy !req
807. Well, well, well.
Look who's here.Copy !req
808. So happy you could grace us
with your presence.Copy !req
809. What kind of terrible people
would do thisCopy !req
810. to a little boy?Copy !req
811. Who the hell
did this to you, Sam?Copy !req
812. Some freaks.Copy !req
813. Freaks?
Like circus freaks?Copy !req
814. Jean, I don't think
there's bearded ladiesCopy !req
815. running around
throwing eggs at kids.Copy !req
816. He means hippies.Copy !req
817. You know who
these freaks were?Copy !req
818. Just a bunch of dirtbags.Copy !req
819. Oh, honey.
My little baby boy.Copy !req
820. I'm not a baby.Copy !req
821. Well...Copy !req
822. Certainly glad we all decided
to celebrate Halloween.Copy !req
823. Last time
I had this much fun,Copy !req
824. I was pinned down in a foxhole
by the North Koreans.Copy !req
825. I'm sorry, hon.
You did a nice job.Copy !req
826. And you
are on thin ice, missy.Copy !req
827. I didn't
expect you back so soon.Copy !req
828. Mom, I told you I'd be back
in a little bit.Copy !req
829. Who were those people
you went off with?Copy !req
830. Just some friends
from school.Copy !req
831. - Anyone I know?
- Mmmmm, not really.Copy !req
832. Lindsay, if you didn't want
to hand out candy with me,Copy !req
833. you could have
just told me.Copy !req
834. No, I couldn't.Copy !req
835. Mom, I didn't want
to make you feel bad.Copy !req
836. Oh, I don't know.Copy !req
837. The world is such
a different placeCopy !req
838. than the one
I grew up in.Copy !req
839. Everyone just seems
so much meaner these days.Copy !req
840. Mom, kids didn't throw eggs
when you were in school?Copy !req
841. I don't know.
I guess so.Copy !req
842. I just know I never did.Copy !req
843. Nothing like getting
yelled at by DadCopy !req
844. when he's dressed
like a vampire, huh?Copy !req
845. Thanks for not
turning me in.Copy !req
846. I'm really sorry.
You know that, don't you?Copy !req
847. Nobody thinks you're cool,
you know.Copy !req
848. Trust me, I know.Copy !req
849. Trick or treat!Copy !req
850. Mom?Copy !req
851. Oh, no.Copy !req
852. That's the wrong costume.Copy !req
853. You were supposed to be
my little princess.Copy !req
854. Well...Copy !req
855. I guess I'll have to be
your little prince instead.Copy !req
856. - I'll get it.
- Oh.Copy !req
857. Trick or treat!Copy !req
858. Aren't you
the cutest things?Copy !req
859. Lindsay,
aren't they cute?Copy !req
860. Yeah, they are.Copy !req
861. Here you go.Copy !req
862. Happy Halloween.Copy !req
863. Sam?
Can I come in?Copy !req
864. Yeah.Copy !req
865. You okay?Copy !req
866. Yeah, I'm just reading
a book for school.Copy !req
867. Is it any good?Copy !req
868. I don't know yet.Copy !req
869. Everyone's name
is really weird and long.Copy !req
870. Well, don't stay up
too late.Copy !req
871. I won't, Dad.Copy !req