1. Previously on
"Freaks and Geeks"...
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2. Sergeant Pepper,
where's the rest of
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3. the Lonely Hearts Club Band?
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4. Lindsay, is this bonehead
a friend of yours?
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5. I like Sam.
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6. Oh.
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7. Do you think
that there's any chance
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8. that this may
actually happen?
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9. You really like her,
don't you?
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10. So if they open this new
sporting goods megastore
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11. at the mall,
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12. we're in for a real fight.
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13. Well, if I were them,
I'd be the nervous ones.
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14. I wouldn't shop at that big
megastore if you paid me.
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15. Oh, I like this girl.
Isn't she great, Lindsay?
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16. Uh, yeah,
she's... great.
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17. So I hear
something very exciting
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18. is happening this week
at school.
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19. That's right. Vice President
George Herbert Walker Bush
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20. is coming to our school
to speak at an assembly
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21. in the cafeteria.
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22. Boy, I wish there was a way
I could get
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23. the vice president
to stop at my store.
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24. You can't pay
for that kind of publicity.
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25. You know, the most exciting
thing is Cindy,
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26. because she's head of
the Young Republicans club,
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27. gets to introduce him.
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28. Wow, that is a big honor,
isn't it, Lindsay?
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29. Yeah, if you're
a Republican.
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30. Oh, and you're not?
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31. No, I'm a Democrat.
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32. You know,
everyone's a Democrat
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33. till they get
a little money.
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34. Then they come
to their senses.
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35. It looks pretty good.
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36. What, are the Blues Brothers
doing a show in town tonight?
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37. No. George Bush is coming
to speak to the school.
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38. The porn star?
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39. The vice president of
the United States of America.
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40. George Bush.
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41. Hi, guys.
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42. Hey.
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43. Hey.
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44. - Hey.
- Hey.
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45. What's wrong?
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46. I'm a little nervous.
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47. I just found out
we have to play
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48. "Hail to the Chief"
when Bush arrives.
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49. There's a lot of tuba.
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50. Don't worry about it, Amy.
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51. Bush probably doesn't know
anything about the tuba.
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52. I can see it now.
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53. Stop!
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54. All right, you guys.
Come on, beat it.
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55. There's no hanging out
under the stairs.
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56. What? Since when?
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57. Since the vice president
is coming.
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58. Come on, gimme a break.
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59. The secret service wants
all these areas cleared out.
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60. How we ever gonna
plan our coup?
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61. Don't even joke, Desario.
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62. I can get you thrown in jail
just for saying that.
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63. Come on, let's go.
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64. Coooooup.
Coup. Coup.
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65. Don't joke about it.
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66. It's okay.
I have to practice, anyway.
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67. Want to hang out
after school?
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68. I don't know.
I have to practice.
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69. Gotta study.
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70. You're a bad influence.
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71. So I'll see you at 6:30?
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72. See ya later.
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73. Bye.
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74. I hope
the game's good tonight.
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75. Definitely.
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76. - It will be. Trust me.
- Ha, ha, ha.
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77. Hey, guys.
What's happening?
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78. We don't know.
It's all going on over there.
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79. Once you start
down that dark path,
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80. forever will it
dominate your destiny.
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81. At least that's what
Yoda always says.
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82. I mean, not all cheerleaders
have to be pretty,
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83. but their cheerleaders
aren't even remotely pretty.
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84. I mean, they're dirty.
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85. You know what it is?
It's disrespectful.
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86. It's disrespectful
to their team.
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87. It's disrespectful
to their school.
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88. If I was their student body,
I wouldn't allow it.
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89. Hey, not all our cheerleaders
are pretty.
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90. You can say that again.
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91. Todd, shut up.
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92. I wasn't talking about you.
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93. How about
you get over yourself?
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94. Sam, you're not gonna
defend me?
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95. What? He... he said
he wasn't talking about you.
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96. So you're just
gonna let it go?
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97. Would you stop?
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98. I like Sam.
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99. What, do you want
to see us fight?
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100. I'd like to see that.
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101. Mousetrap! I win!
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102. Congratulations, Bill.
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103. Maybe you can get the school
to start a team.
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104. Funny.
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105. Sam, don't worry.
It's just a game.
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106. I mean,
I'm good at Mousetrap,
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107. and you're really good
at Kerplunk.
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108. No. No, no, no.
It's not that.
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109. It's just this thing
with Cindy.
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110. She's kinda...
she's kinda boring.
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111. Really?
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112. It's weird hanging out
with her friends.
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113. I mean, all she ever wants to do
is make out and stuff.
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114. I'd kill
to be that bored.
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115. Maybe you're not
doing this right.
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116. I mean, aren't you supposed to
go out on dates and stuff?
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117. Well, y... yeah.
We went to the mall twice,
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118. and we went to this
football game once,
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119. and after that,
we went to a different mall.
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120. That sounds fantastic.
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121. Maybe you should
take her out on a date
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122. and do something
that you want to do.
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123. But what if she doesn't
want to do what I want to do?
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124. Then why are you
going out with her?
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125. Because she's a goddess!
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126. Am I the last sane man
on this godforsaken planet?
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127. Hey, pass her over here.
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128. I'd move to the mall
if she wanted me to.
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129. All right. I'll ask.
Just shut up already.
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130. So how come we never
hang out at your house?
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131. Um, 'cause
I hate it there?
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132. Really?
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133. Yes, really.
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134. How come everyone always thinks
I'm joking all the time?
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135. Something to do with my voice,
isn't it?
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136. That's what I think.
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137. I mean, your parents
seem so nice.
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138. Well, they're not
bad people.
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139. They're good at their jobs.
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140. I guess...
I guess raising me
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141. wasn't one of the things
they learned to do in college.
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142. So how'd you turn out to be
such a great guy?
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143. Am I?
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144. I don't know. I was, uh,
I was raised by a nanny.
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145. Yeah.
Catherine.
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146. She was pretty...
she was pretty great.
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147. You know, she was the best mommy
money could buy.
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148. I didn't know that.
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149. I'm glad you told me.
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150. Yeah. Well.
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151. I think it's important that
we tell each other everything.
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152. Don't you?
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153. Yeah. Of course.
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154. I want to tell you
something about myself.
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155. It's really important,
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156. so you gotta promise me
you won't freak out.
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157. Oh, I'm pretty hard
to freak out.
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158. No, I'm serious.
You promise?
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159. I can try to promise.
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160. If you killed someone
or something, though...
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161. No. You know,
forget it.
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162. I'm sorry. Go on.
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163. Well...
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164. This isn't
really that uncommon.
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165. But...
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166. But when I was born...
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167. I had the potential to be...
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168. male or female.
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169. Yeah.
Me too.
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170. No, I mean... I mean,
I was born with both...
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171. both male and female parts.
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172. Uh huh.
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173. My parents made a decision
with the doctors
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174. that I should be a girl.
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175. I mean, thank God,
because that's who I am.
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176. But...
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177. It's still
a really big part of my life...
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178. And I thought
you should know.
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179. No, this is...
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180. good that you
told me this.
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181. Are you freaking out?
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182. No. You know, it,
you're...
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183. You're, uh,
you're all girl now.
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184. Yeah.
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185. Yeah. So, you know,
it's okay, you know?
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186. It's, uh, if I was dating you
when you were just born,
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187. things, uh, might be
a little different
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188. 'cause of all that stuff.
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189. But now you're, uh,
you're all girl now,
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190. so it's... okay.
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191. Thanks, Ken.
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192. Yeah. You know,
it's, uh, I, uh,
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193. I had my appendix out,
so you know, I've been there.
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194. Ha, ha, ha, ha.
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195. Lindsay, old Jeff Rosso
is about to make your day.
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196. You've heard of a guy
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197. named Vice President
George Bush, haven't you?
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198. Yeah.
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199. Well, I've arranged for you
to ask him the first question
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200. during the informal Q&A
with the student body.
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201. I don't want to do that.
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202. Why?
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203. Because, I'm a Democrat.
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204. So?
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205. So I wouldn't have voted
for Reagan if I was old enough.
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206. Why would I want to
talk to his lackey?
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207. Gee, I don't know.
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208. Maybe because he's the second
most powerful man on Earth.
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209. Maybe because
we live in a country
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210. where we can actually
question our leaders
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211. without fear of being
hacked to death by a machete.
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212. Mr. Rosso, I didn't -
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213. Hey, you know what?
Forget it.
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214. I don't want you to talk
to the vice president.
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215. Plenty of people here
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216. who actually care
about their country.
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217. I guess me
and my hippie friends
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218. were all just
wasting our time
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219. at Berkeley demonstrating
and stopping an unjust war.
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220. Probably shouldn't
have bothered.
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221. Okay, Mr. Rosso. Stop.
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222. Come on, Lindsay.
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223. I was so excited
for you to do it!
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224. You're a special person,
and it's your destiny,
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225. if you like it or not,
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226. to be interacting
with world leaders.
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227. Do you really believe that?
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228. You bet I do.
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229. Okay. Fine.
I'll do it.
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230. I've got the best job
in the world!
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231. 12 grand a year,
and I'm overpaid.
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232. Excuse me, sir.
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233. I'm gonna have to
ask you and this young lady
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234. to please
leave the office.
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235. - Anything wrong?
- No, sir.
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236. We just need to inspect
and cordon off these areas
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237. until after
the vice president's visit.
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238. Uh, where am I
supposed to work?
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239. Sorry, sir,
it's not my problem.
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240. - Thanks very much.
- Isn't this exciting?
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241. Thank you.
Do me a favor?
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242. Give me a room sweep
on the left side.
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243. Yeah.
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244. Uh, Crockpot, you're going
to get a visual on that bogie.
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245. He's coming at you.
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246. He's about 6'3".
Real Dr. Feelgood look.
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247. Check him out.
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248. Wow.
It's sixth period already.
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249. Yep.
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250. Did you have
a good lunch?
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251. I thought the cafeteria food
looked a little gross,
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252. so I had an apple.
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253. It was actually
pretty good.
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254. If you like salisbury steak.
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255. Um,
I have to get to math, so...
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256. Yeah, I got chemistry.
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257. Give you a call.
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258. So what should I ask?
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259. Well, ask him something
really tough.
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260. You know, put him on the spot.
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261. What would he
not want to talk about?
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262. They say that Reagan
had Iran delay
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263. the release
of the hostages
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264. until after
he was elected.
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265. You should ask him about that.
Write that one down.
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266. I bet he flips.
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267. I want to ask him about
trickle down economics.
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268. Oh, Lindsay,
that's boring.
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269. Nobody wants to
hear about that.
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270. Here,
give me this notebook.
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271. I want to ask him about
the aliens at Roswell.
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272. Come on.
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273. I gotta write down
some real questions.
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274. Okay.
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275. How's it going?
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276. Great. I think
I'm gonna get a "B" in math.
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277. I'm so relieved.
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278. Cindy, I was kinda
thinking that maybe
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279. you'd like to go out
on a date with me.
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280. Like a real date,
you know?
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281. Sam, you're so sweet.
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282. Of course
I'll go out on a date with you.
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283. Yeah?
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284. Hey, you know
what we could do?
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285. All the football players
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286. are going to these
batting cages,
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287. like this
goofy golf type place,
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288. and then afterwards,
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289. they're gonna go
swim in this lake.
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290. Doesn't that sound
like fun?
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291. Yeah. Well, actually,
I was thinking
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292. that maybe I could
plan the date.
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293. I'd take you out.
It would be my surprise.
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294. It would be on me,
you know?
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295. I get it. You want to
take your girlfriend out
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296. like a real gentleman.
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297. Yeah.
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298. You know what?
I think that's really romantic.
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299. Cool.
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300. I can't take this anymore.
Why are you acting like this?
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301. Acting like what?
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302. You can't even look at me!
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303. I'm looking at you.
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304. What are you thinking
about what I told you?
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305. Nothing.
You know, you told me,
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306. and I'm fine with it.
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307. You're not fine with it!
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308. You're acting
completely weird.
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309. Well, I don't think I am.
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310. I mean,
how am I supposed to act
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311. after you tell me
something like that?
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312. I don't know,
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313. but you're not
reacting at all.
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314. I don't know what to say.
There's nothing I can do.
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315. I... I can't change it.
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316. You're such a jerk.
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317. Amy, tell me what to say,
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318. 'cause clearly
you have something in mind.
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319. Do you still like me?
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320. Yeah! Of course
I like you still.
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321. And you can live with this?
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322. Live with what?
It's over.
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323. I mean, you know,
move on.
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324. Ken, you don't understand.
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325. It's not that easy.
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326. No matter
what the doctors did,
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327. there's always gonna be
some part of me that's...
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328. - A guy?
- You know what, forget it.
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329. If it were me, I'd take her
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330. to a Broadway show.
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331. Broadway?
We're in Michigan.
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332. Dinner theater?
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333. "The Jerk" is playing
at the discount theater.
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334. That's not exactly
romantic.
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335. Laughter is the ultimate
aphrodisiac.
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336. Get a woman laughing
and you've got a woman loving.
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337. You gotta get her
a really good present.
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338. You could make her something.
Like out of paper mache.
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339. Yeah, that's great.
It's from the heart.
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340. Hey, Harris?
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341. What kind of presents
do you get Judith?
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342. Judith has very
particular tastes.
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343. About the only thing
she ever wants is scented oils
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344. - and plenty of time with her man.
- Yuck!
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345. I have the perfect gift.
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346. What is it?
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347. Your grandmother
gave this to me
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348. when I was just
about Cindy's age.
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349. It's an heirloom.
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350. I thought it was the most
elegant thing I'd ever seen,
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351. and I'm sure
if your grandmother knew
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352. how important
this was to you,
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353. she would want you
to have it.
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354. And I want you
to have it.
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355. After all,
this is your first love.
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356. Thanks, Mom.
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357. I think I'm gonna
break up with Amy.
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358. What? Why?
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359. I just... you know,
I don't...
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360. I don't really think
we're right for each other.
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361. Really? Oh.
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362. I thought you two were
sort of the perfect couple.
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363. Okay, look, I'm going to
tell you guys something now,
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364. and you have to promise
not to be jerks about it
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365. and not to tell anyone
ever, okay?
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366. Yeah, that's cool, man.
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367. Amy's not really a girl.
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368. What?
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369. I mean, you know, she is...
she's a girl,
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370. but she's kinda...
she's kinda part guy too.
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371. What's that mean?
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372. It means
that when she was born,
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373. she was packing
both a gun
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374. and the holster.
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375. Um...
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376. Well, does
does she still have,
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377. you know... the gun?
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378. No. The doctors
took care of it.
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379. Okay.
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380. Well, then...
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381. She's a girl.
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382. I don't think
it works that way.
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383. I think you better
get rid of her.
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384. I don't want to
break up with her.
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385. I really like her.
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386. I might even... love her.
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387. Really?
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388. Yeah.
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389. Does that mean
you're gay?
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390. I don't know.
Does it?
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391. I was joking.
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392. Oh.
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393. Well, welcome
to my new "office,"
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394. courtesy of big brother.
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395. It's kind of cramped.
Sorry about that.
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396. Quite all right.
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397. All right. Ken Miller.
Here. Talkin'.
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398. What can I do for you?
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399. Um, I, uh,
can't believe it myself,
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400. but I actually came here
to ask you some advice.
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401. Well, that's what
they pay me for.
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402. Yeah. Um...
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403. Well...
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404. There's a small,
little chance that...
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405. I might be gay.
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406. I see. That's cool.
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407. And, you know, I thought
you'd be a good person
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408. to talk to about it,
since you're gay.
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409. I'm not gay.
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410. - You're not?
- No.
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411. Oh. Man.
I just always thought...
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412. Why did you think that?
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413. I... I don't know.
You just...
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414. You kinda have
this way about you,
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415. and I've... I've never
seen you with a woman.
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416. Well, I don't bring dates
to school.
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417. Look, there's nothing wrong
with being gay.
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418. It's just not
my personal preference.
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419. I think I'd better
get going.
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420. Ken, you can stay
and talk about this.
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421. No, I don't think I can.
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422. Come on.
Come on.
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423. No! Damn it!
Come on!
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424. Mother -
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425. Mr. Rosso?
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426. Lindsay.
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427. What are you doing?
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428. I locked my keys
in my car.
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429. You need some help?
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430. I think I can handle it.
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431. Oh...
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432. Bush's people...
rejected your questions.
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433. So, they've written one for you.
Here.
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434. "What is your favorite
place to eat
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435. in the state of Michigan?"
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436. What the...?
What happened?
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437. The Bush people
found the ones you wrote
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438. too sophisticated.
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439. Sophisticated?
What does that mean?
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440. That's code for
"nice try,
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441. but this is a glorified
photo opportunity."
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442. Look, I'm disappointed too,
okay?
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443. But let's try and keep
a positive perspective
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444. on all this, okay?
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445. You actually get to interact
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446. with the Vice President
of the United States.
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447. That's historic.
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448. Ooh. Maybe if I'm lucky,
he'll tell me
Copy !req
449. which steakhouse
has the best prime rib.
Copy !req
450. Don't you think
I'm P.O.'d too?
Copy !req
451. I thought
we were gonna have
Copy !req
452. an actual political
conversation.
Copy !req
453. You can't win
with these people.
Copy !req
454. You know what
all my protesting
Copy !req
455. accomplished
in the '60s at Berkeley?
Copy !req
456. 16 scars on my head
from a teargas canister.
Copy !req
457. We tried to get 'em
to stop the war.
Copy !req
458. They stopped the war
when they felt like it.
Copy !req
459. And now all my compatriots
Copy !req
460. are gettin' rich
working Wall Street,
Copy !req
461. and I can't get my keys
out of my mother's car.
Copy !req
462. What, that's it?
You're just gonna give up?
Copy !req
463. Come on.
There's nothing we can do?
Copy !req
464. No, there's something
we can do.
Copy !req
465. You can go get
Brooksie the janitor
Copy !req
466. to come out here
and help me.
Copy !req
467. So I told Todd that
Republicans aren't... selfish.
Copy !req
468. It's just
that they don't believe
Copy !req
469. poor people
should get handouts.
Copy !req
470. I mean,
they should get jobs.
Copy !req
471. Handouts just make them lazy,
don't you think?
Copy !req
472. Uh, I don't know.
I guess so.
Copy !req
473. Well, they do.
Copy !req
474. Todd never understood.
He's a Democrat.
Copy !req
475. They like handouts.
Copy !req
476. Um, and speaking
of handouts, ha, ha,
Copy !req
477. Uh, I got you something.
Copy !req
478. Really? Sam,
you're the best boyfriend.
Copy !req
479. What'd you get me?
Copy !req
480. What is it?
Copy !req
481. It's an heirloom necklace.
Copy !req
482. It's been in our family
for generations.
Copy !req
483. How much did it cost?
Copy !req
484. Um, I don't know.
It's an heirloom.
Copy !req
485. Well, thank you.
That's very sweet.
Copy !req
486. Well, do you want me
to put it on you?
Copy !req
487. No, that's okay.
Copy !req
488. You know, it's metal,
Copy !req
489. so it'd be cold on my neck
and everything.
Copy !req
490. Isn't that stupid?
Copy !req
491. They're afraid
of real questions.
Copy !req
492. He's not coming
to your high school
Copy !req
493. to be interrogated by a bunch
of pimple faced teenagers.
Copy !req
494. You have to be polite
to the man.
Copy !req
495. Oh, so if you have a zit,
you're not entitled
Copy !req
496. to an opinion?
Is that it?
Copy !req
497. I just think
it's nice he's coming.
Copy !req
498. I mean, I'm sure
he's a very busy man.
Copy !req
499. Mom, busy doing what?
Copy !req
500. Waiting for the president to die
so he can take over?
Copy !req
501. Lindsay.
Copy !req
502. Look, there's a more
important opportunity
Copy !req
503. to be had here.
Copy !req
504. I was thinking...
when you ask your question,
Copy !req
505. you can mention my store.
Copy !req
506. Dad, that's sick.
Copy !req
507. It would be sick
if we went out of business.
Copy !req
508. Your only affiliation
right now to any party
Copy !req
509. is to the Weir party.
Copy !req
510. We need help.
Copy !req
511. Mom, tell him to stop,
please.
Copy !req
512. No, honey,
this is serious.
Copy !req
513. Those megastores can offer
discounts your father can't.
Copy !req
514. This is no big deal.
All you have to do is say,
Copy !req
515. "hi, I'm Lindsay Weir.
Copy !req
516. My father owns A1 sporting
goods out on 16 mile,"
Copy !req
517. and then, "what's your favorite
place to eat in Michigan?"
Copy !req
518. I can't believe
you're asking me to do that.
Copy !req
519. Oh, and maybe
you could wear
Copy !req
520. one of the store's
new t-shirts.
Copy !req
521. - Show her, honey.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
522. He hates these cans!
Copy !req
523. Stay away
from the cans!
Copy !req
524. Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Copy !req
525. More cans!
Copy !req
526. Isn't this great?
Copy !req
527. Yeah, I guess so.
Copy !req
528. Do you want some popcorn
or something?
Copy !req
529. Will popcorn
make this movie funnier?
Copy !req
530. Y... you don't think
this movie is funny?
Copy !req
531. No. I think it's stupid.
Copy !req
532. I mean, come on,
how old is this guy?
Copy !req
533. He's got gray hair,
Copy !req
534. and he's running around
like a five year old.
Copy !req
535. What?
Copy !req
536. Sam?
Copy !req
537. Yeah?
Copy !req
538. What are you...?
Copy !req
539. Ow!
Copy !req
540. What are you doing?
Copy !req
541. I'm giving you something.
Copy !req
542. Oh, god,
what are you giving me?
Copy !req
543. I'm giving you a hickey,
you goof.
Copy !req
544. Oh, my god!
I'm endangering your life!
Copy !req
545. Cover me!
Copy !req
546. You're covered!
Copy !req
547. No, you guys, really,
Rosso's cool.
Copy !req
548. Did you ever
really look at him?
Copy !req
549. He's actually
kind of good looking.
Copy !req
550. Yeah, if you're
attracted to guys
Copy !req
551. that look like Jesus.
Copy !req
552. Shut up!
Copy !req
553. Hey.
Copy !req
554. Hey, what's up?
Copy !req
555. Hey, guys.
Copy !req
556. What's that supposed
to mean, Daniel?
Copy !req
557. Like, how's it going, guys?
Copy !req
558. Oh, Jesus, Ken,
I didn't mean it like that.
Copy !req
559. - What the hell, Ken?
- Take it easy, man.
Copy !req
560. Oh, my god.
Copy !req
561. Hey, Daniel, you okay?
Copy !req
562. Yeah, I'm all right.
Copy !req
563. Are you guys
gonna tell us
Copy !req
564. what the hell
that was all about?
Copy !req
565. Just forget it, Kim.
Copy !req
566. Daniel, he just punched you
in the face!
Copy !req
567. Give it a rest, okay?
Copy !req
568. Amy.
Copy !req
569. Amy!
Copy !req
570. Can you just please
let me explain?
Copy !req
571. I'm an idiot.
Please, just...
Copy !req
572. Hey.
Copy !req
573. You okay?
Copy !req
574. Yeah. Are you?
You look weird.
Copy !req
575. Huh?
Copy !req
576. My best friends were punching
each other in the face tonight.
Copy !req
577. Cindy and me went
to see "The Jerk,"
Copy !req
578. and she didn't laugh once.
Copy !req
579. Uh oh.
Copy !req
580. What's wrong with me?
Copy !req
581. I mean,
she's so pretty.
Copy !req
582. How come
I don't like her?
Copy !req
583. Sam, just 'cause
a girl's pretty
Copy !req
584. doesn't mean
she's right for you.
Copy !req
585. Not all good looking people
are cool.
Copy !req
586. Yeah, I know.
Copy !req
587. Well, don't worry about it.
Copy !req
588. If it doesn't feel right,
Copy !req
589. you can always
break up with her.
Copy !req
590. No, I can't break up
with Cindy Sanders.
Copy !req
591. Why not?
Copy !req
592. Because people would think
I'm crazy.
Copy !req
593. Why?
Copy !req
594. Well, because
they can't believe that...
Copy !req
595. she's going out with me
in the first place.
Copy !req
596. Sam, you can't just
keep dating someone
Copy !req
597. if you don't like them.
Copy !req
598. And -
Copy !req
599. What's that
on your neck?
Copy !req
600. A hickey.
Copy !req
601. Man, Sam.
Copy !req
602. What?
Copy !req
603. Let me see it.
Copy !req
604. You better wear
a turtleneck
Copy !req
605. before Mom and Dad
see that.
Copy !req
606. Come on, man, get in.
Copy !req
607. I'll drive you home.
Copy !req
608. Come on.
Copy !req
609. Tricia, nice blouse.
Copy !req
610. Red, white, and blue
looks good on you.
Copy !req
611. Good morning, Miss.
Copy !req
612. Wow!
Copy !req
613. Mr. Rosso,
you look really good.
Copy !req
614. I cleaned up nice,
if I do say so myself.
Copy !req
615. So you ready?
Copy !req
616. Yeah, I guess.
Copy !req
617. Are you?
Copy !req
618. Yeah. That whole thing
in the parking lot,
Copy !req
619. that was crazy.
That was inappropriate.
Copy !req
620. But uh, you know, we shouldn't
get so worked up about it.
Copy !req
621. Let's just have fun.
The vice president is here!
Copy !req
622. It's exciting, isn't it?
Copy !req
623. Hey.
Copy !req
624. Hey.
Copy !req
625. So, you really
gonna do it?
Copy !req
626. I'm a member
of the Weir party.
Copy !req
627. Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Copy !req
628. My stomach hurts.
Copy !req
629. Yeah, my stomach
would hurt too,
Copy !req
630. if I was breaking up with
the prettiest girl in school.
Copy !req
631. I'm glad
your stomach hurts.
Copy !req
632. Know what that is?
It's your body telling you
Copy !req
633. you're making
a big mistake.
Copy !req
634. No, Neal, I'm not
making a mistake, okay?
Copy !req
635. Just because a girl's pretty
doesn't mean that she's cool.
Copy !req
636. Okay, Sam,
Copy !req
637. first of all,
of course it does.
Copy !req
638. And secondly,
you're just scared.
Copy !req
639. I mean, years from now, you're
gonna be sitting in your house,
Copy !req
640. looking
at your unattractive kids
Copy !req
641. with your unattractive wife,
saying to yourself,
Copy !req
642. "man, why did I ever dump
that goddess Cindy Sanders?"
Copy !req
643. You know what, I can't listen
to any more of this.
Copy !req
644. Have I ever told you
about the time
Copy !req
645. that I made out
with Vicki Appleby?
Copy !req
646. Oh, shut up.
Copy !req
647. You're such a liar.
Copy !req
648. Hey, Amy.
Copy !req
649. Whoa, wait up!
Copy !req
650. Is everything okay?
Copy !req
651. No. I can't even believe
I came to school today.
Copy !req
652. Well, what's going on?
Copy !req
653. Like you don't know,
Lindsay.
Copy !req
654. No, I don't.
Copy !req
655. You mean
Ken didn't tell you?
Copy !req
656. Nobody'll
tell me anything.
Copy !req
657. Do you want
to talk to me?
Copy !req
658. Maybe I could help you.
Copy !req
659. You know, Lindsay,
don't worry about it.
Copy !req
660. I'll see you later.
Copy !req
661. Hey, Amy!
Copy !req
662. Good luck with
"Hail to the Chief"!
Copy !req
663. Thanks.
Copy !req
664. Hey.
Copy !req
665. Are you Lindsay's brother?
Copy !req
666. Sam. Yeah.
Copy !req
667. Did you just puke?
Copy !req
668. No. I'm nervous.
Copy !req
669. Because of George Bush?
Copy !req
670. I'm gonna break up
with Cindy Sanders.
Copy !req
671. Wow. Why, man?
Copy !req
672. She's hot.
Copy !req
673. You know, she's just
really different than I am.
Copy !req
674. Yeah. I... I know
how that one goes.
Copy !req
675. I've been thinking
Copy !req
676. I have to break up
with my girlfriend too.
Copy !req
677. Oh, how come?
Copy !req
678. It's complicated.
Copy !req
679. Very complicated.
Copy !req
680. It's just we don't
have anything in common.
Copy !req
681. I mean, she thought
"The Jerk" was stupid.
Copy !req
682. You serious?
Copy !req
683. Man, my girlfriend
loved "The Jerk."
Copy !req
684. Well, we don't have
anything to talk about.
Copy !req
685. She doesn't like
anything that I like.
Copy !req
686. We never have
any fun together.
Copy !req
687. That's too bad, man.
Copy !req
688. Really, my...
my girlfriend's pretty cool
Copy !req
689. when it comes to
stuff like that.
Copy !req
690. God,
then what's the problem?
Copy !req
691. I don't know.
Copy !req
692. Well, I'm gonna break up
with Cindy Sanders.
Copy !req
693. Good luck, buddy.
Copy !req
694. Thanks.
Copy !req
695. Sam, I've been
looking all over -
Copy !req
696. What the hell is that?
Copy !req
697. What?
Copy !req
698. Sam, you're wearing
a turtleneck.
Copy !req
699. Are you covering up
my hickey?
Copy !req
700. What? No! No, no
I...
Copy !req
701. It's kind of
embarrassing.
Copy !req
702. Come on,
don't get all mad.
Copy !req
703. Oh, thanks, Sam.
Copy !req
704. So I guess if you got me
a diamond ring
Copy !req
705. and I didn't wear it
because I was too embarrassed,
Copy !req
706. you wouldn't get
all mad, either?
Copy !req
707. Hey, come on!
I got you a necklace,
Copy !req
708. and you've never worn it.
Copy !req
709. It was ugly!
Copy !req
710. It was an heirloom.
Copy !req
711. Sam, do not start a fight
with me right now, okay?
Copy !req
712. I have to go in there
and introduce Bush.
Copy !req
713. Cindy...
Copy !req
714. What?
Copy !req
715. I don't want to be
your boyfriend anymore.
Copy !req
716. I just want to go back
to being friends.
Copy !req
717. Friends?
Copy !req
718. Why would you just
want to be my friend?
Copy !req
719. I just really want
to be your friend.
Copy !req
720. Like before.
Copy !req
721. No.
Copy !req
722. No?
Copy !req
723. No, Sam, you can't
break up with me.
Copy !req
724. You're supposed
to be nice.
Copy !req
725. That's the only reason
why I'm going out with you
Copy !req
726. in the first place.
Copy !req
727. Hey, I am nice!
Copy !req
728. I'm just not
having any fun. Are you?
Copy !req
729. No.
Copy !req
730. No, I'm not
having any fun, Sam.
Copy !req
731. Have your stupid
heirloom back.
Copy !req
732. Um, you did
the right thing.
Copy !req
733. You're too good for her.
Copy !req
734. Are you gonna eat with us
at lunch today?
Copy !req
735. Yeah, yeah.
Copy !req
736. Thank God.
Copy !req
737. Let's go.
Copy !req
738. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
739. And I don't care,
and I'm so sorry.
Copy !req
740. I have to get
to the assembly.
Copy !req
741. Okay.
Copy !req
742. All right, everyone just eat
like you'd normally eat.
Copy !req
743. Hello, my name's Rosso.
It'll be on your list.
Copy !req
744. Jeffery Theodore Rosso?
Copy !req
745. Yes.
Copy !req
746. Sir, could you step
over here for a second?
Copy !req
747. Sir, are you now
or have you ever been
Copy !req
748. a member of an organization
called
Copy !req
749. the Taft Students Alliance
for a New America?
Copy !req
750. No.
Copy !req
751. I mean, I might be
on their mailing list
Copy !req
752. somewhere from way back,
but I'm certainly not -
Copy !req
753. Well, unfortunately,
Copy !req
754. you've been red flagged
as a security risk.
Copy !req
755. I can't allow you
to attend the assembly.
Copy !req
756. There must be a mistake.
I work here.
Copy !req
757. Yeah, I know.
Copy !req
758. Okay, now, I'm just
gonna have to escort you
Copy !req
759. to a little holding area that
we've established over here.
Copy !req
760. Oh, wait,
there he is!
Copy !req
761. Mr. Rosso,
thank you so much
Copy !req
762. for giving Lindsay
this opportunity.
Copy !req
763. Hey, Mr. Rosso,
what's going on?
Copy !req
764. Where are you going?
Copy !req
765. I guess I rocked the boat
a little bit in my youth.
Copy !req
766. Don't worry about it,
Lindsay.
Copy !req
767. Just go in there
and make the school proud.
Copy !req
768. Mr. Rosso, please.
Step back. Step away.
Copy !req
769. Wow.
Copy !req
770. See, I told you
that guy was a kook.
Copy !req
771. So what do
you teach here?
Copy !req
772. Actually,
I'm a guidance counselor.
Copy !req
773. Really?
Copy !req
774. Sometimes I have to
just stand in one place
Copy !req
775. for 12 hours
and stare at a wall.
Copy !req
776. You start to see things.
Copy !req
777. Your feet...
The pain in your feet...
Copy !req
778. Well, it's an important job.
Copy !req
779. No, it's not.
Copy !req
780. You ever heard of the vice
president getting assassinated?
Copy !req
781. No. You know why?
Copy !req
782. It's never happened.
Copy !req
783. Will it ever happen?
No way.
Copy !req
784. Because,
who cares?
Copy !req
785. Know what I mean?
Copy !req
786. Ladies and gentlemen,
Copy !req
787. as the Republican National
Committee student liaison
Copy !req
788. for McKinley High School,
Copy !req
789. I am honored
to present to you...
Copy !req
790. the Vice President
of the United States of America,
Copy !req
791. George Bush.
Copy !req
792. Yeah, hail to the chief!
Copy !req
793. This song rocks!
Copy !req
794. You know, sometimes...
I mean, this sounds crazy
Copy !req
795. but sometimes I think
Copy !req
796. I just want to rip off
my vest and jacket
Copy !req
797. and just put on a t-shirt
Copy !req
798. and go and, like, make pancakes
somewhere or something.
Copy !req
799. But, I mean,
that would be crazy, right?
Copy !req
800. Hey...
Copy !req
801. I've got a test
Copy !req
802. which reveals what type of job
you're best suited for.
Copy !req
803. You want to take it?
Copy !req
804. Okay.
Copy !req
805. Thanks, Jeff.
Copy !req
806. Uh, now we're going
to open up the floor
Copy !req
807. so the vice president
can take some questions
Copy !req
808. from our student body.
Copy !req
809. And our first question
comes from Ms. Lindsay Weir.
Copy !req
810. Ms. Weir, go right ahead.
Copy !req
811. Mr. Vice President,
my name is Lindsay Weir.
Copy !req
812. My dad owns A1 sporting goods
on 16 mile road.
Copy !req
813. My question is...
Copy !req
814. Why did your staff
reject my question?
Copy !req
815. Are you afraid of an open
discourse with the students?
Copy !req
816. Funny kid.
Copy !req
817. One of McKinley's finest.
Copy !req
818. "Do you like working
with major appliances?"
Copy !req
819. That'd be a yes.
Copy !req