1. Come on, ladies!
Let's see some hustle.
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2. Uh, excuse me.
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3. Is our little practice
bothering you?
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4. Get out there!
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5. All right, let's work!
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6. Let's scrimmage.
Come on!
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7. You seem so distant
these days, Brett.
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8. Is there something I did?
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9. 'Cause if there is,
I want you to tell me.
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10. Ashley, it's just—
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11. I mean, I'm ready
to work through
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12. whatever it is that we
need to work through.
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13. But we need
to communicate.
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14. I need you
to talk to me.
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15. Ashley, it's just that
I love you so much...
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16. It scares me.
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17. Oh, man, you wanna hear
something way messed up?
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18. You know that Molly Hatchet
shirt I was wearing
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19. the other day?
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20. You know, the one
with the executioner guy
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21. holding that bloody ax
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22. and under his foot's
the severed head?
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23. - Yeah.
- Yeah.
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24. That's my shirt.
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25. Yeah, so...
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26. My mom, she makes us
go to church every week,
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27. and we gotta dress up.
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28. And so I get there,
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29. and the stupid priest
says I can't come in.
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30. You can't wear stuff like that
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31. at church, man.
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32. Why not, man?
It's church.
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33. They're supposed
to forgive people there.
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34. So you hate my shirt.
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35. Forgive me,
let me come in.
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36. Hey, I believe
in God, man.
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37. I've seen him.
I've felt his power.
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38. He plays drums
for Led zeppelin,
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39. and his name
is John Bonham, baby!
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40. Nah, nah, nah.
Here we go, here we go.
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41. Hey, Lisa!
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42. Here's those noogies
you ordered.
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43. He's a real Cinderella story.
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44. Eh, former greenskeeper.
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45. Oh! He got all
of that one!
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46. It's in the hole!
It's in the hole!
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47. Sam Weir.
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48. You really like
Bill Murray, don't you?
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49. Yeah. He's great.
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50. Bill Murray sucks, man.
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51. No, he doesn't.
He's cool.
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52. Oh, really?
What is he, your boyfriend?
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53. Sam Queer.
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54. It's fightin' time, Weird.
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55. Leave me alone, Alan.
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56. I'm sorry.
I don't speak geek.
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57. I always wanted to know what
it'd be like to fight a girl.
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58. I'm a girl.
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59. Wanna see what it'd be like
to fight me?
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60. Weir's sister
has to protect him?
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61. I'm not protecting him,
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62. just trying to figure out
why it is
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63. you need to pick fights
with guys who weigh
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64. less than 100 pounds.
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65. Watch out, Alan,
I think she's high on pot.
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66. Yeah, I might
just go psycho on you.
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67. You wanna try me?
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68. You're dead,
all right?
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69. As soon as your freak sister
isn't around,
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70. I'm gonna cream you, man.
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71. You know, you really
didn't need to do that.
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72. - I could've handled it.
- Yeah. I know.
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73. And by the way,
I weigh 103 pounds.
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74. Sorry.
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75. Man, I hate high school.
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76. You know,
I ran into Mrs. Patton today
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77. at Farmer Jack,
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78. and she said
she saw you smoking.
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79. Well, she's crazy.
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80. Mom...
I can't believe you.
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81. Do you seriously think
I would start smoking?
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82. Okay. I...
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83. You know, I had a friend
that used to smoke.
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84. You know what
he's doing now?
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85. He's dead.
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86. Now you think smoking makes
you look cool?
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87. Lets go dig him up now
and see how cool he looks.
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88. Daddy, if I started smoking,
I would tell you.
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89. Oh, good.
Now I don't have to worry.
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90. Hey, Dad, guess what.
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91. They're showing "Monty Python
and the Holy Grail"
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92. at Parkway Saturday night.
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93. Neal, Bill, and I are gonna
watch it twice in a row.
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94. Great.
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95. Sam, isn't the homecoming
dance Saturday night?
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96. Yeah.
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97. Are you going?
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98. No.
Why would I do that?
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99. - Well, your sister's going.
- No, I'm not.
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100. All right, kids,
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101. high school
is for learning,
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102. but it's also
where you should be learning
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103. how to socialize.
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104. That's what high school
dances are all about.
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105. No, they're not.
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106. They're just a chance
for the popular kids
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107. to experiment with sex
in their cars.
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108. - Lindsay!
- Hey!
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109. I mean, if that's what
you want me to do,
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110. then I'd be
happy to go.
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111. You know, there was
a girl in our school...
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112. She had premarital sex.
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113. You know what she did
on graduation day?
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114. Died.
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115. Of an overdose.
Heroin.
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116. Dad, are any of
your friends alive?
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117. The smart ones.
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118. I'm sure there
are plenty of kids
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119. who are just dying
for someone to ask them.
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120. Mom, that's the stupidest thing
I ever heard.
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121. Honey, it's stupid until you
consider how happy
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122. it will make somebody who
really wants to go.
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123. But nobody I know
wants to go.
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124. - Lindsay.
- Dad.
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125. - Honey.
- Great.
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126. No, that works out perfect.
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127. I'm having a midnight madness
deer hunting sale that night,
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128. and you can come wait on
all those nice hunters.
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129. The choice is yours.
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130. Thanks, Carla.
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131. Hey, Eli,
I think Tom needs a hug.
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132. My buddy.
My buddy!
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133. My buddy!
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134. Okay. Okay.
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135. You're such a jerk, man.
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136. What? Eli likes you.
Congratulations.
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137. - Hey, Mr. K.
- Mr. Schweeber.
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138. It's "Schweiber."
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139. Ah, Mr. Bones, Mr. Spock,
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140. may I join you here
in the Enterprise mess hall?
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141. I'm so hungry
I could eat a tribble.
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142. I... I don't get it.
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143. Who's that?
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144. John Wayne.
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145. Oh, okay.
Yeah.
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146. Why does my mom
always put a note in my lunch?
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147. It's so embarrassing.
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148. At least your mom doesn't
write the note on the bag.
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149. Are you guys going
to the homecoming dance?
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150. No.
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151. I really don't
see that happening.
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152. Oh, I'm sorry.
did I crush your twinkies?
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153. Hey, what did you
do that for?
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154. What are you gonna do,
go crying to your sister,
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155. Sam Rear?
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156. No. No, I'm not.
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157. Mr. Kowchevski,
Alan smashed my twinkies!
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158. Oh, my god,
you're such a woman.
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159. Alan, you don't
have anything better to do
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160. than to crush
Mr. Weir's dessert?
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161. Oh, well, you know,
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162. I was just bending down
to talk to him,
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163. and I accidentally
leaned on it.
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164. I'm sorry.
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165. Why don't you
go do the nice thing
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166. and buy him
some new ones?
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167. Oh, yes, sir.
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168. Thank you,
Mr. Kowchevski.
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169. Sam, you want some advice?
Be a man.
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170. You shouldn't
let Alan do that to you.
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171. I don't see you
doing anything!
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172. My dad tells me
to stay out of fights
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173. that don't affect me
directly.
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174. You know, it would
sure be nice if you guys
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175. backed me up
once in a while.
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176. You know, my sister does,
and she's a girl.
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177. Yeah, yeah,
but if we back you up,
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178. than Alan's
gonna terrorize us, too.
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179. Listen, you guys
have gotta help me,
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180. or else he's never
gonna leave me alone.
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181. - Ahh.
- Hey, Daniel.
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182. Hey, Lindsay.
What's up?
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183. Where you been?
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184. I been...
just around.
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185. Come on,
let's hit the patio.
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186. Oh, the smoking patio.
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187. - Mm-hmm.
- Okay.
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188. It's all right.
They don't bite.
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189. Okay.
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190. Ow!
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191. Don't touch me, you scuzz.
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192. I'm sorry.
Your butt was calling to me.
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193. Hey, Nicholas,
you get those M-80s?
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194. Hell no, man.
You got the money?
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195. You guys know Lindsay?
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196. Hi.
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197. You were in my English class
last year, right?
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198. You're that chick
who got an "A."
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199. Yeah, well...
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200. What are you gonna do?
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201. I don't know.
What are you gonna do?
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202. So, you guys going
to the homecoming dance?
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203. I beg your pardon?
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204. That's funny.
It's a joke, right?
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205. My dad's
kinda making me go.
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206. Your dad's making
you go to the dance?
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207. Man, what's that
all about?
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208. Who's your dad, Hitler?
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209. I just thought maybe,
you know,
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210. you guys were gonna go
to make fun of people.
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211. I mean, that could
be kinda funny, right?
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212. I would go,
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213. but I have
a prior engagement.
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214. My cousin just sent me
a bunch of mushrooms,
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215. and I'm gonna eat them.
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216. Look, I mean, you know
they're gonna play disco, right?
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217. Disco sucks.
I hate disco.
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218. Ooh-ooh
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219. Coo-coo coo
Coo-coo coo
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220. I'd rather make out
with Principal Farber, you know?
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221. Ooh, again?
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222. Shut up, man.
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223. Ow.
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224. What, what?
Oh! My god, man.
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225. Oh!
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226. I can't wait till
you're not paying attention.
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227. Get outta here!
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228. Check it out.
What's she want?
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229. Lindsay?
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230. - Linds!
- Friend of yours...
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231. Linds?
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232. I'll be right back, okay?
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233. - Okay.
- Okay.
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234. Millie, what are you
doing out here?
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235. What are you
doing out here?
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236. This place is for freaks.
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237. Millie, go away.
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238. Today's the deadline
to enter the academic decathlon.
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239. Mr. Rosso said you didn't
turn in your application.
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240. What?
Millie, I'm not entering.
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241. But you're
our best Math-lete.
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242. Could we not talk
about this right now?
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243. Lindsay,
what's wrong with you?
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244. There's nothing
wrong with me.
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245. I just don't want to do
decathlon this year.
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246. Well, aren't you at least
going to help us
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247. serve refreshments
at the homecoming dance?
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248. We're trying to raise money
to buy the school a computer!
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249. Shh!
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250. Gentlemen,
here's my advice.
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251. Listen to Neal.
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252. You should handle Alan
the same way Han Solo
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253. dealt with Jabba the Hutt.
Avoid him.
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254. Just avoid him forever?
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255. Just for four years.
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256. Sam,
there's Cindy Sanders.
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257. Dream on, Sam.
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258. - Oh, man.
- Uh-oh, incoming.
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259. Hey, Sam, I've been
looking all over for you.
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260. Is this your jacket?
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261. Yeah.
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262. Yeah, you left it
in science
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263. so I didn't want it
to get all dirty.
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264. Oh, thanks, Cindy.
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265. That was really nice of you.
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266. Yeah, well,
I'll see you later.
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267. Sam.
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268. You are so in.
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269. What?
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270. She brought you
your jacket.
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271. That means she saw it,
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272. she remembered
it was yours,
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273. she picked it up and carried it
through the halls.
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274. People probably saw her
with it and everything.
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275. I wonder if she
has a date for the dance.
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276. Cindy Sanders
is in love with you, man.
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277. You really think
Cindy likes me?
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278. Hello? The jacket.
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279. No way.
We're not her species.
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280. Listen,
just do me a favor.
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281. Ask around, see if
she has a date for the dance.
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282. Who should I ask?
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283. Okay, the dance
is tomorrow.
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284. She's a cheerleader.
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285. You've seen "Star Wars"
27 times.
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286. Do the math.
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287. I know, I know,
but my dad always tells me
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288. that the prettiest girls
usually don't get asked out
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289. 'cause guys are too afraid
to ask them.
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290. Really?
Maybe I should ask out
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291. Farrah Fawcett-Majors.
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292. Hey, maybe I should
ask out Bill's mom.
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293. You better not.
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294. Listen,
just ask around, okay?
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295. Don't even
think about it.
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296. Get outta the way.
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297. Hey!
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298. - Chemistry exam you ordered.
- All right, good job.
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299. Where are the answers?
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300. You just said
to steal the test.
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301. Oh, good work, genius.
Way to use your brain.
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302. What?
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303. I'm cutting.
Who's got gum?
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304. Sorry.
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305. Oh, yeah,
that's real great.
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306. You know, why don't you
blow your nose in some bread
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307. and make me
a sandwich, too?
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308. Why is everyone
crawling up my butt today?
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309. 'Cause you're a moron.
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310. Hey, Kim, I got some.
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311. What's she doing here?
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312. 'Cause she's our friend.
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313. What, are you doing her
so that she'll help you
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314. with your math homework?
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315. Hey, lay off.
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316. Um, Kim, I—
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317. I wasn't talking
to you, brain.
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318. Don't you have a test
to take or something?
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319. Hey, would you be cool?
I mean, please.
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320. Did I do something
to you?
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321. You're here.
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322. Kim.
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323. I have as much right
to be here as you do.
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324. Hey, brain,
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325. I shoplift
in your daddy's store.
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326. You're just some rich kid
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327. who's trying
to piss off her parents.
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328. You think you
can hang with these guys?
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329. You think that's
gonna make you cool?
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330. I don't know
what to tell you.
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331. You know what?
I'm sorry.
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332. Let's be friends.
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333. Hey.
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334. There. Now we're friends.
See you at the mall.
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335. What are you,
on your period?
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336. Hey, if you
wanna hang around
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337. with your
little poser friend here
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338. and pretend with her,
then that's your waste of time,
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339. just keep her
the hell away from me.
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340. That is exactly why
I don't carry a purse.
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341. I gotta—
I gotta get to shop class.
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342. It's the only one
I can pass.
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343. Here.
I'm sorry.
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344. Don't you have
to get to class, too?
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345. Oh, I'll survive.
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346. These shorts aren't
very flattering, are they?
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347. No, you look good.
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348. Thanks.
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349. Hey, how come your sister is
dressing so weird now?
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350. What do you mean?
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351. I don't know, I mean,
she's been wearing
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352. your dad's army jacket.
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353. I don't know.
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354. She's been acting weird
ever since our grandma died.
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355. You're dead Weird!
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356. Alan?
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357. What?
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358. What's the point of all this?
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359. Point?
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360. The point is,
you're dead too.
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361. "Little man".
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362. I kinda wish I didn't
come to school today.
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363. Hi, would you, uh,
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364. would you go to
the homecoming dance with me?
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365. Um, I would, but, um,
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366. I already have a date,
so I can't.
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367. Sorry.
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368. Will you go
to homecoming dance with me?
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369. - Eli.
- What?
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370. There's a bee
on your book.
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371. - Where?
- Oh, I'll get it.
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372. What's the matter
with you?
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373. Jerk.
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374. I'm sorry. Didn't mean
to upset your husband.
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375. Oh, yeah?
What if he was my husband?
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376. That'd be some kind
of joke to you?
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377. It's no joke to me.
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378. I think you two
make a good couple.
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379. Yeah?
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380. Maybe we do.
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381. Hey, Eli.
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382. Do you want to go to
the homecoming dance with me?
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383. Yes! Yes, I do!
Yeah, please.
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384. Yeah, I will go.
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385. - Good.
- Yeah.
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386. Come on, Eli.
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387. All right, fellas,
I just wanna let you know
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388. that in honor of the big
homecoming game tomorrow,
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389. I'm gonna give you guys
the day off.
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390. Can we go home?
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391. Schweiber,
don't be an idiot, all right?
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392. I mean, we're gonna
do something fun.
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393. I'm gonna
let you guys...
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394. Play dodge ball.
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395. Yeah!
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396. Oh, man.
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397. Oh, no.
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398. Oh, my god!
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399. All right, come on, guys.
Let's go.
Copy !req
400. Would somebody
please tell me
Copy !req
401. what's supposed
to be fun about this?
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402. If we just
let ourselves get hit,
Copy !req
403. then we can sit down.
Aah!
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404. Aah!
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405. Let's just pretend
to get hit.
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406. Nobody'd know.
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407. I don't think we can.
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408. Ladies, put down the mascara
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409. and get in there and play.
Come on.
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410. Very nice.
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411. I can't take it, man.
I gotta get out of here.
Copy !req
412. Hey look! Little man's
making a run for it.
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413. Hey, only my mom's
allowed to call me that.
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414. Uh!
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415. Ahh!
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416. Ow.
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417. Oh!
Copy !req
418. Okay, now it's time
to smear Weir.
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419. Sam! Get away from me!
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420. We need
to stick together.
Copy !req
421. Are you crazy?
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422. Hey kid!
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423. Aah!
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424. - Oh!
- Yeah!
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425. Oh, my god!
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426. - Yeah!
- Hey!
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427. Solomon.
Hey, hey, hey.
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428. That's illegal.
You're out of there.
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429. What?
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430. All right, Schweiber.
Come on, walk it off.
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431. Sit down, you knucklehead.
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432. There's nowhere
to hide, Weird.
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433. Kid, get away from us.
That psycho's after you.
Copy !req
434. Pick 'em up
and throw 'em!
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435. That's the way.
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436. Nice throw, wuss.
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437. He caught my ball!
I'm out!
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438. Yeah!
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439. Ohh! Ah!
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440. Go, Sam, go!
Copy !req
441. Oof!
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442. Oh, my god!
Copy !req
443. All right, White,
take a seat.
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444. Come on, Weir,
throw it back.
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445. Catch it, come on.
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446. Oh, bup bup bup.
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447. Dodge ball's kind of
a stupid game, isn't it?
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448. You just signed
your death warrant.
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449. Man, that chick digs you,
I'm telling you.
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450. - She likes me?
- Yes!
Copy !req
451. That's really great.
Copy !req
452. - Hey, so, Eli.
- What?
Copy !req
453. That Jimmy Carter,
he's some president, right?
Copy !req
454. Yeah, he's been doing
a hell of a job.
Copy !req
455. Oh, he's doing
a hell of a job.
Copy !req
456. Hey, but I gotta say,
I'm a little concerned
Copy !req
457. about his handling
of the economy, aren't you?
Copy !req
458. I'm a little concerned.
Maybe.
Copy !req
459. Maybe I'm a little—
I'm a little concerned.
Copy !req
460. Come on. Come on, Eli.
Give him a break.
Copy !req
461. I mean, look what he's done
in the Middle East.
Copy !req
462. - The Middle East.
- Yes.
Copy !req
463. The middle...
the middle of the East.
Copy !req
464. I bet you'd make
a good president, Eli.
Copy !req
465. - President Eli?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
466. - Okay, president Eli!
- Oh, man.
Copy !req
467. President Eli!
Copy !req
468. Hey, you guys, cut it out.
Leave him alone.
Copy !req
469. What? We've having
a political discussion here.
Copy !req
470. What?
We're political.
Copy !req
471. Eli, you don't
have to talk to them.
Copy !req
472. They're just being mean.
Copy !req
473. No,
but they're my buddies.
Copy !req
474. - They're my buddies.
- We're his buddies!
Copy !req
475. Ain't that right,
Mr. President?
Copy !req
476. No, they're not, Eli.
Copy !req
477. - I'm making them laugh, right?
- It's true.
Copy !req
478. - I'm making...
- Yeah, not this way.
Copy !req
479. There's a good kind of laughing
and a bad kind of laughing.
Copy !req
480. This is bad.
Copy !req
481. Eli, they're only laughing
at you because you're retarded.
Copy !req
482. I'm not retarded.
I'm special.
Copy !req
483. - I'm special.
- Eli, you are special.
Copy !req
484. I'm sorry.
I know you're special.
Copy !req
485. They're being mean to you.
Copy !req
486. I'm not retarded.
Copy !req
487. Okay.
Copy !req
488. You're retarded!
Copy !req
489. - I'm sorry!
- No! No!
Copy !req
490. I'm not retarded!
I am special!
Copy !req
491. I don't wanna go
to the dance with you! No!
Copy !req
492. Eli, please,
I'm sorry.
Copy !req
493. Oh, my god.
Copy !req
494. And I'm the mean one?
How does that work?
Copy !req
495. So...
what's going on here?
Copy !req
496. All I—
Copy !req
497. I was trying
to do something nice
Copy !req
498. in this stupid school
where nothing nice ever happens,
Copy !req
499. but instead Eli
broke his arm and...
Copy !req
500. Now I feel like
the biggest idiot in the world.
Copy !req
501. No, why aren't
you taking part
Copy !req
502. in the academic decathlon?
Copy !req
503. What?
Copy !req
504. We need you.
You're our best Math-lete.
Copy !req
505. Oh, god, please
don't say that word.
Copy !req
506. You havin'
some problems at home?
Copy !req
507. - No, I'm not.
- Is it a boy?
Copy !req
508. No.
Copy !req
509. Hey, you can tell me.
Copy !req
510. I know it seems "square"
to actually talk
Copy !req
511. to your guidance counselor,
but I was a kid once, too,
Copy !req
512. and not that long ago.
Copy !req
513. Mr. Rosso,
there's nothing to tell.
Copy !req
514. Trust me.
Copy !req
515. Okay.
Copy !req
516. I see the problem here.
Copy !req
517. Let's just rap...
as people, okay?
Copy !req
518. No pressure.
Copy !req
519. From now on, I'm not
"Mr. Rosso, guidance counselor."
Copy !req
520. - You're not?
- No.
Copy !req
521. I'm just Jeff,
your friend who cares.
Copy !req
522. - Jeff?
- Exactly.
Copy !req
523. And you're not
"Ms. Weir, high school student."
Copy !req
524. You're Lindsay,
Copy !req
525. a girl who seems
like she needs a friend.
Copy !req
526. So, come on, Linds,
Copy !req
527. talk to your buddy Jeff.
Copy !req
528. Jeff...
Copy !req
529. I've never felt better
in all my life.
Copy !req
530. Well, then maybe someone
should tell your face.
Copy !req
531. Ah, yes, interesting problem.
Freshman bullies.
Copy !req
532. He's obviously acting out
his insecurities
Copy !req
533. in a new environment.
Copy !req
534. If you can disconnect
emotionally,
Copy !req
535. it's really quite sad.
Copy !req
536. In his own way,
he's reaching out for a friend.
Copy !req
537. Not that you should
feel sorry for him, though.
Copy !req
538. His kind
should be destroyed.
Copy !req
539. So what do we do?
Copy !req
540. I would recommend
the Cressman conundrum.
Copy !req
541. What the hell is that?
Copy !req
542. Tom Cressman,
my freshman tormentor.
Copy !req
543. The idea was,
if you fight your bully,
Copy !req
544. afterwards,
whether you win or lose,
Copy !req
545. they'll tend
to leave you alone.
Copy !req
546. Did it work?
Copy !req
547. He broke my tailbone,
but the results were effective.
Copy !req
548. - He got expelled.
- It's a good plan.
Copy !req
549. It's a terrible plan, okay?
Copy !req
550. I'm not fighting Alan.
He's not my tormentor.
Copy !req
551. I know every route he takes
to each class,
Copy !req
552. and I avoid those halls.
Copy !req
553. It's that simple.
Copy !req
554. Start leaving out
the janitor's door like I do.
Copy !req
555. Are you lookin'
for a fight, dork?
Copy !req
556. No, sir.
Copy !req
557. Well,
you're gonna get one!
Copy !req
558. Uh...
Copy !req
559. Tell me about
the stupid Cressman conundrum.
Copy !req
560. Hey, are you, uh—
are you—uh, are you okay?
Copy !req
561. Is it just me
or does the whole world suck?
Copy !req
562. All right, after class,
Copy !req
563. you and me
are cuttin' outta here.
Copy !req
564. - Cutting?
- Yeah. Yeah!
Copy !req
565. I got something
to show you that—
Copy !req
566. It's gonna make you
feel better.
Copy !req
567. I guess the first thing
that we gotta do
Copy !req
568. is get him on the ground.
Copy !req
569. How are we supposed
to do that?
Copy !req
570. Cut his legs off?
Copy !req
571. Should I wear a cup for this?
Copy !req
572. That's between you
and your god, Bill.
Copy !req
573. Hey, geek.
Copy !req
574. Gotta problem?
Copy !req
575. Uh, no, I was... I was just
looking at a friend of mine.
Copy !req
576. Are you telling me that I
look like a friend of yours?
Copy !req
577. Hey Kim.
I think he likes you.
Copy !req
578. Is that true?
Copy !req
579. Do you like me?
Copy !req
580. Do you...
love me?
Copy !req
581. I - I like you like
a friend.
Copy !req
582. I don't think so.
Copy !req
583. I think you "like me" like me.
Copy !req
584. I think you wanna kiss me.
Copy !req
585. Do you wanna kiss me?
Copy !req
586. I - I don't know.
Copy !req
587. Come on. Just... one little kiss.
Copy !req
588. I'll be your girlfriend.
Copy !req
589. In your dreams, geek.
Copy !req
590. Maybe we should get her
to beat up Alan.
Copy !req
591. Go. Go!
Copy !req
592. Wait for me, man.
Copy !req
593. Be prepared
to have your mind blown.
Copy !req
594. Check it out, man.
Copy !req
595. That's, uh, 14 mounted toms,
Copy !req
596. 8 floor toms,
4 splashes, 2 gongs,
Copy !req
597. 10 cowbells, 4 rides,
5 snares, man...
Copy !req
598. A roto-tom rack,
and it's all mounted
Copy !req
599. on my infamous
quadruple kick drum system.
Copy !req
600. Six more pieces,
Copy !req
601. I've got a bigger kit
than Neil Peart from Rush.
Copy !req
602. Yeah!
Copy !req
603. That's great, Nick.
Copy !req
604. Look, these teachers—
these teachers want us to work,
Copy !req
605. you know?
Copy !req
606. And I say,
"fine. I'll work.
Copy !req
607. "but you've gotta let me do
the kind of work
Copy !req
608. that I wanna do."
Copy !req
609. And for me,
Lindsay, it's—
Copy !req
610. it's my drum kit, man.
Copy !req
611. This is my passion,
you know?
Copy !req
612. This is—this is the essence
of who I am now.
Copy !req
613. But before I had this,
I was lost, too.
Copy !req
614. You see what I'm sayin'?
Copy !req
615. You need to find your reason
for... for living.
Copy !req
616. You gotta find your big,
gigantic drum kit
Copy !req
617. you know?
Copy !req
618. Hey, maybe I'll
buy a clarinet.
Copy !req
619. Yeah.
Copy !req
620. If you're not going
to the dance,
Copy !req
621. I thought you could
come over to my house.
Copy !req
622. A bunch of guys who play guitar
are gonna come over.
Copy !req
623. We're just, uh—
I don't know.
Copy !req
624. We were gonna try
to play, like,
Copy !req
625. "Dark Side of the Moon"
or somethin'.
Copy !req
626. Just tell your dad
you went.
Copy !req
627. I can't lie to my dad.
Copy !req
628. Really?
Copy !req
629. Yeah.
Copy !req
630. Okay.
Copy !req
631. Why don't you tell your dad
that you got a date?
Copy !req
632. No, listen, I'll put on
a suit, all right?
Copy !req
633. I'll come pick you up,
talk nice to your dad,
Copy !req
634. and then I'll take you
to the school,
Copy !req
635. and we can walk up
to the door of the dance,
Copy !req
636. and then we can take off.
Copy !req
637. That way you could
tell your dad you went.
Copy !req
638. You wouldn't be lying.
Copy !req
639. You'd really do that?
Copy !req
640. Absolutely.
Copy !req
641. Hello there!
Copy !req
642. Hello, Jeff.
Copy !req
643. Guess who's in trouble.
Copy !req
644. Here's the deal:
Copy !req
645. If you take part
in the academic decathlon,
Copy !req
646. I'll forget this
ever happened.
Copy !req
647. You're forcing me
to be a Math-lete?
Copy !req
648. That is so not fair.
Copy !req
649. The world
is not black and white.
Copy !req
650. It's gray.
Copy !req
651. And I really think
it'd be good for you.
Copy !req
652. Jeff...
Copy !req
653. I really can't do that.
Copy !req
654. Fine, Ms. Weir,
Copy !req
655. then maybe it's time
for some tough love.
Copy !req
656. How about I, uh,
call your parents
Copy !req
657. and I let them know
that their daughter's
Copy !req
658. turning into a burnout
who skips class?
Copy !req
659. - No!
- And you know what?
Copy !req
660. I can't make you
be a Math-lete,
Copy !req
661. but I can make you
work the refreshment table
Copy !req
662. at the homecoming dance.
Copy !req
663. I'll see you
Saturday at 7:00.
Copy !req
664. You know
who used to cut class?
Copy !req
665. Jimi Hendrix.
Copy !req
666. You know
what happened to him?
Copy !req
667. He died,
choking on his own vomit.
Copy !req
668. Daddy,
I skipped Latin.
Copy !req
669. Oh, well,
I can understand
Copy !req
670. why you wouldn't want
to learn about that.
Copy !req
671. It's only the building block
of our language.
Copy !req
672. Well, I'm just glad
your grandmother wasn't alive
Copy !req
673. to hear about this.
Copy !req
674. You can't cut corners
in life!
Copy !req
675. You know who cut corners?
Kennedy.
Copy !req
676. Kennedy cut corners when he
was running the Bay of Pigs.
Copy !req
677. A lot of good men
lost their lives because of it.
Copy !req
678. You know who else
cut corners?
Copy !req
679. - Janis Joplin.
- Dad!
Copy !req
680. What are you
talking about?
Copy !req
681. You don't make any sense!
Copy !req
682. I just cut class,
and guess what.
Copy !req
683. Everybody's still alive.
Copy !req
684. Just leave me alone!
Copy !req
685. You understand what
I'm saying, don't you, Sam?
Copy !req
686. - Yeah.
- Good.
Copy !req
687. Pass the rolls.
Copy !req
688. Um...
Can I come in?
Copy !req
689. Do you think that me, Neal,
and Bill could beat up Alan?
Copy !req
690. Just Alan?
Copy !req
691. Yeah.
Copy !req
692. Alan and his buddies?
Copy !req
693. Mmm, "no" to "maybe."
Copy !req
694. Yeah,
that's what I thought.
Copy !req
695. Um, why are you
throwing your life away?
Copy !req
696. Did Dad tell you
to ask me that?
Copy !req
697. No, Millie did.
Copy !req
698. That figures.
Copy !req
699. Forget it.
Copy !req
700. You know, tell her
to mind her own business.
Copy !req
701. You know, just because
she asked me to ask you
Copy !req
702. doesn't mean I was gonna
tell her what you said.
Copy !req
703. Sam?
Copy !req
704. Did Mom and Dad
ever tell you
Copy !req
705. that I was the only one
with Grandma when she died?
Copy !req
706. No.
Copy !req
707. Yeah.
Copy !req
708. They went down to the cafeteria
to get some coffee...
Copy !req
709. And all of a sudden,
Grandma looked so terrified.
Copy !req
710. I didn't know what to do.
Copy !req
711. She grabbed my hand and told me
she didn't want to go.
Copy !req
712. She looked
so scared, Sam.
Copy !req
713. So, I said,
"well, you know,
Copy !req
714. can you see God or heaven
or a light or anything?"
Copy !req
715. What did she say?
Copy !req
716. "No.
Copy !req
717. There's nothing."
Copy !req
718. She was a good person
all her life,
Copy !req
719. and that's what she got.
Copy !req
720. So...
Copy !req
721. You do think that
we could beat up Alan?
Copy !req
722. Yeah.
Copy !req
723. He's a goner.
Copy !req
724. Oh, man, where's Sam?
Copy !req
725. It's almost 3:00.
Alan's gonna be here.
Copy !req
726. I'll bet he forgot
his math book.
Copy !req
727. - I'm sure he's coming.
- All right.
Copy !req
728. Colin!
You came to help us?
Copy !req
729. No way.
I just came to watch.
Copy !req
730. It should be exciting.
Copy !req
731. Uh, because
we're gonna win?
Copy !req
732. Either way.
Copy !req
733. Oh, man, where's Sam?
Copy !req
734. Sam.
Copy !req
735. Can't talk.
Gotta fight Alan.
Copy !req
736. Hi, Sam.
Copy !req
737. Oh, hi, Cindy.
Copy !req
738. Where's Sam?
It's 3:00.
Copy !req
739. Oh, okay, so now,
don't let Alan
Copy !req
740. hit any of your
pressure points
Copy !req
741. cause if he does,
you're not gonna feel anything,
Copy !req
742. but you'll drop dead
in three days.
Copy !req
743. Oh, man,
my stomach hurts.
Copy !req
744. - Bill, you'll be fine.
- No, it really hurts.
Copy !req
745. I think I should go home.
Copy !req
746. This is how Houdini died.
Copy !req
747. Oh, you should
always guard your face
Copy !req
748. 'cause if the other guy
hits you in the nose,
Copy !req
749. it could drive the nose bone
into your brain,
Copy !req
750. and then you'll
release your bowels and die.
Copy !req
751. - Shut up, would you?
- No, he's right.
Copy !req
752. There are a lot of ways
to die in a fight.
Copy !req
753. Maybe we
should put this off.
Copy !req
754. Hey, there's Sam.
Copy !req
755. Sam! Sam!
Copy !req
756. - Stop it.
- Sam!
Copy !req
757. Stop it, you moron.
Copy !req
758. That's not Sam.
It's Alan.
Copy !req
759. What?
Copy !req
760. So, um,
what are you doin'?
Copy !req
761. Oh, just goin' home.
How about you?
Copy !req
762. I'm cheering at the game.
Copy !req
763. Oh.
Copy !req
764. Well...
you're dressed for it.
Copy !req
765. What are you losers
doin' on my street?
Copy !req
766. Nothing.
Copy !req
767. We're kind of here
to beat you up.
Copy !req
768. - Bill!
- Well, we are.
Copy !req
769. Are you?
Copy !req
770. He's just—
he's kidding.
Copy !req
771. I'm not talkin'
to you, dork!
Copy !req
772. What are you laughin' at,
pinhead?
Copy !req
773. - Oh, I'm just here to watch.
- Oh, really?
Copy !req
774. Well, watch this.
Copy !req
775. Aah!
Copy !req
776. You are so dead!
Copy !req
777. Aah!
Copy !req
778. Well, um,
I gotta get out there.
Copy !req
779. I'll see ya.
Copy !req
780. All right.
See ya.
Copy !req
781. Hey, Cindy?
Copy !req
782. Yeah?
Copy !req
783. I was wondering, um...
Copy !req
784. Do, uh...
Copy !req
785. Ohh!
Copy !req
786. You want a piece of me?
I'll kill you!
Copy !req
787. - Bring it on.
- Aah!
Copy !req
788. Um...
Copy !req
789. Do you wanna go
to the homecoming dance with me?
Copy !req
790. Well, I'm already
going with Dan Lewis.
Copy !req
791. He asked me two weeks ago.
Copy !req
792. Oh, okay.
I mean, yeah.
Copy !req
793. I just thought
I would ask
Copy !req
794. just in case you didn't
have anyone to go with.
Copy !req
795. Well, um...
Copy !req
796. I gotta get out there,
so I'll see ya.
Copy !req
797. Oh, if you're there,
I'll save a dance for you.
Copy !req
798. Okay.
Copy !req
799. See ya.
Copy !req
800. That could be good.
Copy !req
801. Get off me, you psycho!
Copy !req
802. Unh! Ah!
Copy !req
803. You ripped my shirt.
Copy !req
804. You're gonna buy me
a new shirt!
Copy !req
805. You guys are all dead, man!
Really dead!
Copy !req
806. I got punched in the nose,
but—but I'm still alive.
Copy !req
807. I guess the nose bone
must have missed my brain.
Copy !req
808. Yeah, my stomach
doesn't hurt anymore.
Copy !req
809. Mine does.
Copy !req
810. Did you see me?
I was taunting him.
Copy !req
811. He was terrified.
Copy !req
812. Did you see me?
Copy !req
813. I had his arms.
Totally shut him down.
Copy !req
814. I had his shoes.
Copy !req
815. Wait a minute.
Copy !req
816. You... you guys fought Alan?
Copy !req
817. No, we got hit by a car.
Copy !req
818. Listen, I'm so sorry.
Copy !req
819. I was talking to Cindy.
Copy !req
820. You really stood up
for me.
Copy !req
821. You should see
how he looks.
Copy !req
822. - We tore his shirt.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
823. So what'd she say?
Copy !req
824. She's got a date,
but she's saving a dance for me.
Copy !req
825. So you're goin'.
Copy !req
826. Yeah.
Copy !req
827. You've gotta slow dance.
Copy !req
828. Yeah, definitely slow.
Copy !req
829. Thanks. You know,
I'll be there the next time.
Copy !req
830. Oh, god, I hope
there's not a next time.
Copy !req
831. Look, uh, I know
you're not happy about this,
Copy !req
832. but don't make me
the bad guy here.
Copy !req
833. If the worst thing
in your life
Copy !req
834. is somebody
makes you go to a dance,
Copy !req
835. then I'd say you
have a pretty good life.
Copy !req
836. - Hi, Cindy.
- Hey, Sam.
Copy !req
837. I was wondering, um...
Copy !req
838. You said you'd
save a dance for me,
Copy !req
839. so can I have it now?
Copy !req
840. I mean,
if you're not busy.
Copy !req
841. I'm not busy.
Copy !req
842. Come on, Sam!
Copy !req
843. What are you
thinking about, Lindsay?
Copy !req
844. I think I'm gonna
dance with Eli.
Copy !req
845. I'll be right back,
Jeff.
Copy !req
846. Uh, Linds?
Copy !req
847. Maybe you should start
calling me Mr. Rosso again.
Copy !req
848. Now, that's
the perfect couple.
Copy !req
849. I mean, they got
some chemistry—ow!
Copy !req
850. - Shut up!
- What did I do?
Copy !req