1. "Puberty usually begins
between the ages of 11 and 14Copy !req
2. "when profound hormonal
changes occur.Copy !req
3. "The onset
of these changesCopy !req
4. "is the function
of a small glandCopy !req
5. "called the pituitary.Copy !req
6. "This gland sends chemical
signals throughout the body,Copy !req
7. "most notably resulting
in height increase,Copy !req
8. and hair growth
in the genital area."Copy !req
9. Hey, hey!
Knock it off!Copy !req
10. You think
this is funny?Copy !req
11. Just try me.Copy !req
12. Okay, all right.Copy !req
13. Here is, uh,
the female reproductive system.Copy !req
14. "The uterus is composed
of 2 main parts..."Copy !req
15. What the hell is that?Copy !req
16. You think she's single?Copy !req
17. It looks like
it's from outer space.Copy !req
18. Shut up.Copy !req
19. Weir!Copy !req
20. You have
something to say?Copy !req
21. No, sir.Copy !req
22. When you get the clap
'cause you weren'tCopy !req
23. paying attention
in health class,Copy !req
24. is that gonna
be funny, too?Copy !req
25. No.Copy !req
26. I didn't think so.Copy !req
27. "Cervix, it has a fine canal
running through itCopy !req
28. opening into the cavity
of the uterus above."Copy !req
29. Didn't Sigourney Weaver
kill that thing in "Alien"?Copy !req
30. Be quiet.Copy !req
31. "During
pregnancy..."Copy !req
32. Remember when it popped out
of that guy's stomach?Copy !req
33. No, idiot,
it jumped out of his chest.Copy !req
34. - Shut up.
- All right, Weir!Copy !req
35. Since you seem
to know everything,Copy !req
36. you know what,
I got a great idea.Copy !req
37. Why don't
I shut my big mouth,Copy !req
38. and you come up
and teach the class.Copy !req
39. Sorry.Copy !req
40. I said get up here.Copy !req
41. Get up here!
Let's go.Copy !req
42. Oh, uh, excuse me,
Dr. Love?Copy !req
43. Could you show me where
the ovaries are located?Copy !req
44. - Ovaries?
- Ovaries.Copy !req
45. Sorry.Copy !req
46. Uh, cervix?
Cervix.Copy !req
47. Cervix.Copy !req
48. "Cervix says"
no.Copy !req
49. Hey, all rightCopy !req
50. Pachowski, you want
to go help him?Copy !req
51. Huh?Copy !req
52. The vagina, Weir,
the va -Copy !req
53. Easy one,
Easy one.Copy !req
54. Basic stuff,
guys know it.Copy !req
55. Go ahead,
point to it.Copy !req
56. I - I don't know.Copy !req
57. All right, Mr. Weir,Copy !req
58. Instead of yucking it up
in class,Copy !req
59. you might want
to pay attention,Copy !req
60. or you're going to have
a very difficult life.Copy !req
61. Okay?
Sit down, Dr. Love.Copy !req
62. Dr. LoveCopy !req
63. At least I didn't
get head lice.Copy !req
64. Thanks for those
pierogies, Tricia.Copy !req
65. - They were delicious.
- Oh, you're welcome.Copy !req
66. - Hey.
- Hey.Copy !req
67. Hey, good game
on Saturday, Eddie.Copy !req
68. Jennifer, I've been hearing
some terrific things about youCopy !req
69. from my sources
in the English department.Copy !req
70. - Mmhmm.
- As you were.Copy !req
71. Hey, Brad.Copy !req
72. Haven't seen you
in a while.Copy !req
73. Stop by the office.
we'll rap.Copy !req
74. Sure thing, Mr. Rosso.Copy !req
75. Peace, brother.Copy !req
76. Rock on, Kirby.Copy !req
77. Okay, Mr. Desario, it's time
for your favorite class.Copy !req
78. See ya.Copy !req
79. Okay, come on,
people, simmer down.Copy !req
80. Come on, let's go.Copy !req
81. This is my time,
not yours.Copy !req
82. Hey, chatty Cathy,Copy !req
83. You sit on the furniture
at home?Copy !req
84. Okay, a reminder about
tomorrow's test.Copy !req
85. It's tomorrow.Copy !req
86. Uh, Kowchevski?Copy !req
87. Desario?Copy !req
88. Didn't we take a test
last week?Copy !req
89. Your point?Copy !req
90. Well, I just don't think
you've taught us enoughCopy !req
91. in the past week
to give us another test.Copy !req
92. Okay, people,
in math,Copy !req
93. every week
you build offCopy !req
94. what you learned
the week before.Copy !req
95. I mean,
it's like a bus.Copy !req
96. And you keep
missing the bus,Copy !req
97. you're never gonna
be able to catch up.Copy !req
98. But, uh,
I don't ride the bus, sir.Copy !req
99. Yeah, flunk another test,
Desario,Copy !req
100. and you just might have
to come back here next yearCopy !req
101. and ride the bus
with me again.Copy !req
102. So the guy
looks up at her, right?Copy !req
103. And he says,Copy !req
104. "How do you think
I rang the doorbell?"Copy !req
105. Oh, man,
that's so raunchy.Copy !req
106. I don't get it.Copy !req
107. What's to get?Copy !req
108. Jocks don't know
how to tell jokes.Copy !req
109. Do you get it?Copy !req
110. I don't really
like jokes.Copy !req
111. I don't think
they're funny.Copy !req
112. I mean,
maybe if we understood it,Copy !req
113. it would be funny.Copy !req
114. They were laughing
pretty hard.Copy !req
115. Trust me,
they're idiots.Copy !req
116. It's not funny.Copy !req
117. Hi, Sam.Copy !req
118. Oh
Hi, Cindy.Copy !req
119. How are you?Copy !req
120. I'm good.
And you?Copy !req
121. Uh, pretty good.Copy !req
122. Are you going to
the muscular dystrophy carnival?Copy !req
123. I'm in charge of
the ice cream booth.Copy !req
124. Yeah,
I heard about that.Copy !req
125. Oh, hey, Dr. Love,Copy !req
126. hey, I can't find
my girlfriend's cervix.Copy !req
127. Can you
help me out?Copy !req
128. Okay, what was
that all about?Copy !req
129. Oh, that was just...
an inside joke.Copy !req
130. Anyways,Copy !req
131. if you need
another volunteerCopy !req
132. for the ice cream booth,
I'm around.Copy !req
133. Well, thanks, but Betsy's
already doing it.Copy !req
134. But make sure you
stop by, though.Copy !req
135. Okay.Copy !req
136. All right, see ya.Copy !req
137. Hey, Tommy,
are you comingCopy !req
138. to the muscular
dystrophy carnival?Copy !req
139. Excuse me, Dr. Love?Copy !req
140. Would you autograph
my genitals?Copy !req
141. I took 20 bucks
from my mom, right?Copy !req
142. But she thought
it was my brother.Copy !req
143. She completely
went nuts on him,Copy !req
144. hit him over the head
with a spatula.Copy !req
145. I mean,
it was hilarious.Copy !req
146. Sounds it.Copy !req
147. God! You bastard!
Why'd you do that?Copy !req
148. I don't know.
I don't know.Copy !req
149. God, what are you,
lit or something?Copy !req
150. You know? Jeez!Copy !req
151. I'm sorry.
Mellow out, all right?Copy !req
152. How do you like it?Copy !req
153. You know, now I gotta
walk around all dayCopy !req
154. with pop on my shirt.Copy !req
155. You know?
Thanks a lot.Copy !req
156. Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
157. Man.Copy !req
158. I get these weird urges
sometimes.Copy !req
159. I should probably
go apologize.Copy !req
160. Hey.Copy !req
161. Hey.Copy !req
162. Are you okay?Copy !req
163. Yeah.Copy !req
164. Kowchevski says
if I flunk this test tomorrowCopy !req
165. I'll have
to take algebra again.Copy !req
166. Do you think
you might flunk it?Copy !req
167. No, I'm definitely
gonna flunk it.Copy !req
168. Do you take algebra?Copy !req
169. Uh, no.
I took it last year.Copy !req
170. I take trig.Copy !req
171. Oh, you must study a lot.Copy !req
172. Math isn't this big deal
that everyone thinks it is.Copy !req
173. It's just a few basic
formulas and some shortcuts,Copy !req
174. and then you
plug in the numbers.Copy !req
175. Shortcuts?Copy !req
176. You mean, like, tricks?Copy !req
177. You could
call them that.Copy !req
178. You could definitely do it
if you wanted to.Copy !req
179. Oh, yeah, I know.Copy !req
180. I mean, if I study,
I could do it.Copy !req
181. It's not like
I'm a bus driver.Copy !req
182. It's just, you know,
it doesn't interest me.Copy !req
183. It's so lame.Copy !req
184. But do you really wantCopy !req
185. to be in Kowchevski's class
again?Copy !req
186. Hell, no.
I'd rather be in jail.Copy !req
187. Well, I could
help you study.Copy !req
188. It could be kind of fun.Copy !req
189. So the guy says,Copy !req
190. "How do you think
I rang the doorbell?"Copy !req
191. So it is funny?Copy !req
192. What does it mean?Copy !req
193. You guys are so young.Copy !req
194. You're only a year older
than we are.Copy !req
195. Yeah, come on, Harris,
what does it mean?Copy !req
196. He doesn't
get it, either.Copy !req
197. Oh, I get it.Copy !req
198. - Then tell us.
- I can't.Copy !req
199. - Why not?
- 'Cause then you'd know.Copy !req
200. So, that's the point,
isn't it?Copy !req
201. You have to find out
for yourselves.Copy !req
202. That's why we're asking.Copy !req
203. I told you.
He doesn't know.Copy !req
204. If I didn't know,
would I be with Judith here?Copy !req
205. Oh, Harris,
you're so bad.Copy !req
206. Love is like homework.Copy !req
207. You got to study
if you want to get an "A".Copy !req
208. So then the guy says,Copy !req
209. "How do you think
I rang the doorbell?"Copy !req
210. Do you get it?Copy !req
211. I don't.Copy !req
212. Dad?Copy !req
213. No.Copy !req
214. You know who's funny?Copy !req
215. That Red Buttons.Copy !req
216. Oh, who could that be?Copy !req
217. Oh, that's Daniel.Copy !req
218. He's a friend
of mine from school.Copy !req
219. I'll get the door.Copy !req
220. It's dark out,
and you're a - a girl.Copy !req
221. Hi, is, uh,
Lindsay here?Copy !req
222. Yeah.Copy !req
223. Okay, so... how do you
want to do this?Copy !req
224. I don't know.Copy !req
225. I've never
done this before.Copy !req
226. Okay, well,
in your textbook the -Copy !req
227. Did you bring
your textbook?Copy !req
228. No.Copy !req
229. Oh, I probably
should have, huh?Copy !req
230. Yeah.Copy !req
231. Man.Copy !req
232. Screwed up already.Copy !req
233. No, it's okay.Copy !req
234. I think I have mine
from last year.Copy !req
235. Oh, great.Copy !req
236. You know, there's these
practice tests in here.Copy !req
237. And they're
kind of helpful.Copy !req
238. Just talking about
studyingCopy !req
239. makes me want
to take a nap.Copy !req
240. Hey, wait,
what are you doing?Copy !req
241. What?Copy !req
242. You can't smoke in here.Copy !req
243. I - I mean,
I don't care.Copy !req
244. It's just, my parents.Copy !req
245. Oh, right, right, right,
I - I'm sorry.Copy !req
246. I got an idea.Copy !req
247. I'll go outside
and smoke this.Copy !req
248. But when I get back,Copy !req
249. blaze through
those tricks of yours.Copy !req
250. What do you got there?Copy !req
251. Uh, um...Copy !req
252. Nothing.Copy !req
253. Nothing?Copy !req
254. What's that?Copy !req
255. Let me see.Copy !req
256. These types of books
just make me thinkCopy !req
257. of all the crap that
can go wrong inside you.Copy !req
258. Why you are reading this?Copy !req
259. I'm taking sex ed
with Mr. Fredricks.Copy !req
260. He embarrassed meCopy !req
261. in front of
the whole classCopy !req
262. just because
I'm a little bit behindCopy !req
263. when it comes
to that sort of stuff.Copy !req
264. Yeah, I know
how that goes.Copy !req
265. You do?Copy !req
266. You know,
you're not gonna learnCopy !req
267. anything you can use
from a book like that.Copy !req
268. I'm not?Copy !req
269. No.Copy !req
270. I'll tell you what.Copy !req
271. I'll find you
at school tomorrow.Copy !req
272. I'll set you up.Copy !req
273. With what?Copy !req
274. Don't worry.
It's cool.Copy !req
275. So, let's try
a different one.Copy !req
276. How do you solve
this type of problem?Copy !req
277. Use the quadratic formula?Copy !req
278. Exactly.Copy !req
279. And what is
the quadratic formula?Copy !req
280. "X" equals...Copy !req
281. negative "b",Copy !req
282. plus or minus
the square root.Copy !req
283. Lindsay,Copy !req
284. when you told me you were gonna
teach me tricks,Copy !req
285. I thought you meant,
like, real tricks.Copy !req
286. What do you mean,
like magic tricks?Copy !req
287. Yeah, well, sort of.Copy !req
288. I mean, right nowCopy !req
289. you're kind of just
teaching me math.Copy !req
290. Well, yeah,
but you're gonna get it.Copy !req
291. I know, but I can't
learn all this.Copy !req
292. The test is tomorrow.Copy !req
293. There's no way.Copy !req
294. I - I don't know
what else to do.Copy !req
295. I'll be cool.Copy !req
296. Really?Copy !req
297. Yeah.Copy !req
298. Hey, I'm sorry
for wasting your time.Copy !req
299. No.Copy !req
300. You didn't.Copy !req
301. Okay.Copy !req
302. Oh, wanna
you want to do something?Copy !req
303. Uh, I don't think I can.Copy !req
304. It's a school night
and everything.Copy !req
305. Are you sure
you're okay?Copy !req
306. Yeah, I'm fine.Copy !req
307. See ya.Copy !req
308. Good luck.Copy !req
309. See ya tomorrow.Copy !req
310. The Hulk could
kick The Thing's butt any day.Copy !req
311. No way!Copy !req
312. The Thing could definitely
take The Hulk.Copy !req
313. Even if The Hulk
could beat him,Copy !req
314. all it has to do is wait
till The HulkCopy !req
315. turns into Bill Bixby againCopy !req
316. and cream him, no problem.Copy !req
317. You know,
you're right.Copy !req
318. Hey, Weir.Copy !req
319. Come here.Copy !req
320. I got something
you might be interested in.Copy !req
321. Check it out,
but don't lose it.Copy !req
322. Okay.Copy !req
323. I want it back.Copy !req
324. All right.Copy !req
325. All right.Copy !req
326. Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey.Copy !req
327. Don't open it
here, man.Copy !req
328. I don't want it
getting confiscated.Copy !req
329. Know what I'm saying?Copy !req
330. Okay.Copy !req
331. All right.Copy !req
332. Yeah.Copy !req
333. Confiscated?Copy !req
334. Come on, let's go.Copy !req
335. Hey, chump.Copy !req
336. I need your help.Copy !req
337. Come here.Copy !req
338. Come on.
All right.Copy !req
339. I need to get something
out of this classroom.Copy !req
340. If you see
Kowchevski coming,Copy !req
341. you just bang on this door,
all right?Copy !req
342. Hey, don't screw me over.
Look alive.Copy !req
343. I'm alive, man.Copy !req
344. You don't have
to hit me.Copy !req
345. All right.Copy !req
346. I'll be out in a second.Copy !req
347. Hey, Nick, what's up?Copy !req
348. Oh, hey,
what's up, Sara?Copy !req
349. Did you hear that
Danielle and I were gonna singCopy !req
350. "Super Trouper"
at the talent show?Copy !req
351. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
352. Yeah, we're gonna dress up
like Abba.Copy !req
353. Wow.Copy !req
354. Abba, huh?Copy !req
355. Mmhmm.Copy !req
356. They're from, uh,
Switzerland, right?Copy !req
357. No, you know, I think
they're from Sweden, actually.Copy !req
358. What are you doing?Copy !req
359. I'm, uhCopy !req
360. thinking about Abba.Copy !req
361. Yeah, I'll talk
to you later.Copy !req
362. All right.Copy !req
363. Well, uh,
talk to you later.Copy !req
364. I think I'm getting
a wart on my wrist.Copy !req
365. Jesus, man,
this algebra test is crazy.Copy !req
366. What language is this?Copy !req
367. How do you get rid
of a wart?Copy !req
368. Hey. I'm trying
to think here, okay?Copy !req
369. Oh, I'm sorry, man.Copy !req
370. Come on.Copy !req
371. It looks like some kind
of movie or something.Copy !req
372. Let me see that.
Let me see it.Copy !req
373. Hang on.Copy !req
374. Oh, my god.Copy !req
375. It's a naked woman.Copy !req
376. What's she doing?Copy !req
377. Who cares what
she's doing?Copy !req
378. She's naked.Copy !req
379. It's a dirty movie.Copy !req
380. You mean,
like a porno?Copy !req
381. Oh, ew!
Give me that.Copy !req
382. What am I supposed
to do with a porno?Copy !req
383. You watch itCopy !req
384. over and over.Copy !req
385. Ew!Copy !req
386. Only perverts
watch pornos, right?Copy !req
387. Well, then every guy
in America is a pervert.Copy !req
388. The meaning of that joke
is right here.Copy !req
389. How am I supposed
to watch it?Copy !req
390. I don't even
have a projector.Copy !req
391. Well, I do.
Give it to me.Copy !req
392. After school today,
we go to my house,Copy !req
393. and we watch this movie
from beginning to end.Copy !req
394. Agreed?Copy !req
395. Okay.Copy !req
396. Hey.Copy !req
397. I ganked the test.Copy !req
398. Wait. What?Copy !req
399. I stole it.Copy !req
400. from Kowchevski's office.Copy !req
401. He's got no clue.Copy !req
402. I need your help.Copy !req
403. I can't figure
any of this out.Copy !req
404. I can't.Copy !req
405. Sure, you can.Copy !req
406. This stuff's
easy for you.Copy !req
407. No, I mean...Copy !req
408. I shouldn't.Copy !req
409. Why not?Copy !req
410. Hey.Copy !req
411. Hey.Copy !req
412. Don't worry.Copy !req
413. I'm not gonna be
hitting you upCopy !req
414. every time
I have a math test.Copy !req
415. I promise.Copy !req
416. So for this one -Copy !req
417. Look, I don't mean
to be uptight,Copy !req
418. but it's just -Copy !req
419. Why don't I talk
to Kowchevski?Copy !req
420. What? Why?Copy !req
421. I'll ask him
for an extension.Copy !req
422. He gave me one once.
He likes me.Copy !req
423. I'll tell him
I'm tutoring youCopy !req
424. and that you're getting
the hang of it,Copy !req
425. but you just need
a little more time.Copy !req
426. Wouldn't it just be easier
to fill out this test?Copy !req
427. Let me talk to him, okay?Copy !req
428. Forget it.Copy !req
429. That dirtbag's not gonna
get an extension.Copy !req
430. But, Mr. Kowchevski,
I was working with himCopy !req
431. last night,
and he's really learning.Copy !req
432. Daniel's
the kind of studentCopy !req
433. who needs more attention,
you know?Copy !req
434. No. Daniel's
the kind of studentCopy !req
435. who needs
to just disappear.Copy !req
436. Excuse me?Copy !req
437. Look, he wastes my time.Copy !req
438. He wastes class time.Copy !req
439. And now he's wasting
your time.Copy !req
440. Well, no, he's not wasting
anybody's time.Copy !req
441. I mean, come on,Copy !req
442. isn't it your job
to teach him?Copy !req
443. Lindsay, I uh...Copy !req
444. I know Daniel is cute
with his bedroom eyesCopy !req
445. and his stringy hair,Copy !req
446. but he's a loser.Copy !req
447. And losers
pull down winners.Copy !req
448. Now...
you're a smart girl.Copy !req
449. Don't let your hormones
get in the way.Copy !req
450. Excuse me.Copy !req
451. Where's that test?Copy !req
452. In my jacket.
Let's go.Copy !req
453. OK. 74 times 23,
put that in parentheses.Copy !req
454. And "x" equals 19y,Copy !req
455. and "y" equals 8.Copy !req
456. Damn, it's weird
you can do this in your head.Copy !req
457. Like a brainiac
or something.Copy !req
458. Thanks.Copy !req
459. Man, I cannot wait to see
Kowchevski's faceCopy !req
460. when he hands this
back to me.Copy !req
461. It's gonna blow his mind.Copy !req
462. Yeah, but, Daniel,
this isn't over, right?Copy !req
463. I'm gonna tutor you,Copy !req
464. and you won't have
to steal any more tests.Copy !req
465. No. Yeah. I know.Copy !req
466. No. I know.Copy !req
467. I'm gonna be, like,Copy !req
468. a guy with one of
those things.Copy !req
469. An abacus?Copy !req
470. Yeah.Copy !req
471. 7y4x equals 9.Copy !req
472. Come on, people.Copy !req
473. This is just a test,
not a death sentence.Copy !req
474. If you're prepared,Copy !req
475. you got nothin'
to worry about.Copy !req
476. Lindsay.Copy !req
477. Congratulations.Copy !req
478. Turns out
your friend DanielCopy !req
479. didn't need that
extension after all.Copy !req
480. He got an "A"
on the algebra test.Copy !req
481. Yeah, well, I told you
I helped him study.Copy !req
482. Did you
help him cheat?Copy !req
483. No.Copy !req
484. I've got an anonymous note
that says you did.Copy !req
485. Well, I didn't.Copy !req
486. I didn't cheat.Copy !req
487. I think you did.Copy !req
488. We'll deal with this
tomorrow.Copy !req
489. You're in a lot of trouble,
young lady.Copy !req
490. Why were you talking
to Mr. Kowchevski?Copy !req
491. Huh?Copy !req
492. Are you joining
the mathletes again?Copy !req
493. No!Copy !req
494. Jeez.
Sorry I asked.Copy !req
495. Do you have popcorn?Copy !req
496. Bill, this is a porno.Copy !req
497. You don't eat popcorn
during a porno.Copy !req
498. This is taking forever.Copy !req
499. Yeah, we could've made
our own porno by now.Copy !req
500. Hey, do you want let
the projector to eat the filmCopy !req
501. and have that
Daniel guy kill you?Copy !req
502. 'Cause, I mean,
we can do that, too.Copy !req
503. All right. There.Copy !req
504. Kill the lights.Copy !req
505. Aye, aye, sir.Copy !req
506. Here we go.Copy !req
507. Wow.Copy !req
508. Hello.Copy !req
509. How'd you like to come home
to that every night?Copy !req
510. Wow.Copy !req
511. Wow.Copy !req
512. He's in good shape.Copy !req
513. Ooh!Copy !req
514. Oh, my god.Copy !req
515. Uh...Copy !req
516. This is... weird.Copy !req
517. Wow.Copy !req
518. That guy's got the best job
in the world.Copy !req
519. Hey, you think there's any
short porn stars?Copy !req
520. I'm so dead.Copy !req
521. What did you tell
Kowchevski?Copy !req
522. Nothing.Copy !req
523. Did you tell him
that we cheated?Copy !req
524. No!Copy !req
525. He could see it
all over my face.Copy !req
526. Look, then it's not over.Copy !req
527. Anonymous note?Copy !req
528. That means nothing.Copy !req
529. Get in.Copy !req
530. Look, as long as we don't,
you know, admit it,Copy !req
531. they got jack on us.Copy !req
532. You wanna deny it?Copy !req
533. Yeah, definitely.Copy !req
534. Daniel, I don't -Copy !req
535. Listen, Lindsay.Copy !req
536. You're good at math.Copy !req
537. I'm good
at this sort of thing.Copy !req
538. And when something
like this happens,Copy !req
539. you deny everything.Copy !req
540. But I'm not a good liar.Copy !req
541. Lindsay,
I got you into this.Copy !req
542. I'm gonna get you
out of this.Copy !req
543. But you gotta trust me.Copy !req
544. We're in this together.Copy !req
545. So, you want me
to thread it up again?Copy !req
546. I'm goin' home.Copy !req
547. Are we gonna go to hell
for this?Copy !req
548. I don't wanna go to hell.Copy !req
549. Hey, Sam.Copy !req
550. You hardly touched
your chicken a la king.Copy !req
551. Aren't you hungry?Copy !req
552. Huh?Copy !req
553. Uh, no.Copy !req
554. I had a really big...
snack at Neal's.Copy !req
555. After school.Copy !req
556. May I be excused?Copy !req
557. Okay,
but we're havingCopy !req
558. chocolate coconut squares
for dessert.Copy !req
559. Uh...Copy !req
560. Maybe later.Copy !req
561. All right, sweetie.Copy !req
562. - Of course.
- He's at that stage, you know?Copy !req
563. Yes, I understand
totally.Copy !req
564. All right. Goodbye.Copy !req
565. You went through that.Copy !req
566. You wouldn't eat a thing.Copy !req
567. That was Mr. Kowchevski
on the phone.Copy !req
568. Apparently, my daughter
is now a cheater.Copy !req
569. What?Copy !req
570. She cheated
on a math test.Copy !req
571. Now she's facing suspension.Copy !req
572. My Aunt Sally.
Lindsay!Copy !req
573. It's not true.Copy !req
574. You're a good student.Copy !req
575. I don't understand
why you would cheat.Copy !req
576. Well, she's hanging around
with the wrong crowd.Copy !req
577. They're lying and cheating,
and, next thing you know,Copy !req
578. she's Patty Hearst,Copy !req
579. and she's got a gun
to our head.Copy !req
580. But Dad, I just told you
it's not true.Copy !req
581. Maybe I don't
believe you.Copy !req
582. You don't even ask me
my side of the story?Copy !req
583. You just jump to conclusions
and start yelling at me?Copy !req
584. God, that is so sick.Copy !req
585. You know what?
Fine.Copy !req
586. Believe what
you wanna believe.Copy !req
587. I don't even care.Copy !req
588. Whatever.Copy !req
589. You know, thanks
for all the support.Copy !req
590. So then the guy
says to her,Copy !req
591. "How do you think
I rang the doorbell?"Copy !req
592. It's a pretty good one, huh?Copy !req
593. Lindsay,
I need to talk to you.Copy !req
594. Some of the mathletes
have been saying thingsCopy !req
595. about you.Copy !req
596. Yeah? Like what?Copy !req
597. There's a rumor
going aroundCopy !req
598. that you cheated
on a math test.Copy !req
599. I told them
that's impossible.Copy !req
600. Even though Lindsay's
not a mathlete anymore,Copy !req
601. she would never break
the league's code of honor.Copy !req
602. Yeah?
Well, guess what, Millie?Copy !req
603. I did cheat.Copy !req
604. I lied and I cheated,Copy !req
605. and then I lied
some more.Copy !req
606. You're funny, Lindsay.Copy !req
607. I knew it wasn't true.Copy !req
608. So, anyone see
"Dukes of Hazzard" last night?Copy !req
609. Yeah.Copy !req
610. It was a good one.Copy !req
611. Yeah. Boss Hogg
is really funny.Copy !req
612. Hey, what's going on,
you guys?Copy !req
613. Yeah.Copy !req
614. All righty,
see you later. Bye.Copy !req
615. Hey, Sam.Copy !req
616. Uh, what do you want?Copy !req
617. Um, well,
I was just wonderingCopy !req
618. if you could help me out
with the ice cream booth,Copy !req
619. 'cause Betsy can't make it
to the carnival.Copy !req
620. Uh, uh, well, it turns outCopy !req
621. that I can't make it,
either.Copy !req
622. Oh, that's too bad.Copy !req
623. Um, I'm a little busy
right now.Copy !req
624. So -Copy !req
625. Yeah, okay. Sure.Copy !req
626. I'll, uh...
I'll see you later.Copy !req
627. Wasn't that great
when the DukesCopy !req
628. handcuffed Roscoe, Enos,
and Boss Hogg together?Copy !req
629. That was
really funny.Copy !req
630. Is there anything
you want to tell meCopy !req
631. before the meeting
this afternoon?Copy !req
632. Just...Copy !req
633. I didn't cheat.Copy !req
634. You know,Copy !req
635. something like this
happened to meCopy !req
636. when I was in high school.Copy !req
637. Got a minute?Copy !req
638. I guess.Copy !req
639. I felt bad for this kidCopy !req
640. Bruce Conforti.Copy !req
641. So I'd kinda "help him"
on biology tests.Copy !req
642. Okay, we cheated.Copy !req
643. But after a while,Copy !req
644. I realized he was the one
being cheated,Copy !req
645. out of something
priceless.Copy !req
646. Knowledge.Copy !req
647. So, one day,
I just told him,Copy !req
648. "I'm not gonna
do that anymore."Copy !req
649. And -Copy !req
650. He studied and he got
all As his own?Copy !req
651. Close.Copy !req
652. He beat the living crap
outta me.Copy !req
653. And when I say, "beat
the living crap outta me,"Copy !req
654. I mean, the living crap.Copy !req
655. All I did was
help Daniel study.Copy !req
656. Okay.Copy !req
657. I trust you.Copy !req
658. Hey, Kim.Copy !req
659. Where's Daniel?Copy !req
660. I don't know.
Beats me.Copy !req
661. We have a disciplinary
meeting after school.Copy !req
662. Ugh.
You nervous?Copy !req
663. You know,
don't worry about it.Copy !req
664. Daniel gets out of stuff
like this all the time.Copy !req
665. Well, I shouldn't feel bad,
right?Copy !req
666. I mean,
Kowchevski is a jerk,Copy !req
667. and I'm gonna
tutor Daniel, andCopy !req
668. he'll pass the class.Copy !req
669. I mean, everything's gonna
work out. Right?Copy !req
670. I'm sorry.Copy !req
671. You think that
you and DanielCopy !req
672. are gonna be, like,
study buddies?Copy !req
673. He wants to learn.Copy !req
674. And what about
the next test?Copy !req
675. He'll just get the answers
from somebody else.Copy !req
676. He always does.Copy !req
677. Aah!Copy !req
678. - Hey.
- Hey!Copy !req
679. You ready to stick it
to the man?Copy !req
680. Partners in crime?Copy !req
681. Give me five.Copy !req
682. Hey, don't
leave me hangin'.Copy !req
683. All right.Copy !req
684. Ow!Copy !req
685. Hi.Copy !req
686. Another thing they do
is the old cop trick.Copy !req
687. They'll get you alone,Copy !req
688. and they'll tell you
I confessed.Copy !req
689. But don't believe 'em.Copy !req
690. 'Cause I'll never confess,
okay?Copy !req
691. Well, I'm going to.Copy !req
692. I can't keep lying.Copy !req
693. What? Why not?Copy !req
694. What is this,
some kind of game to you?Copy !req
695. You already
got me to cheatCopy !req
696. and to lie to my parents
and to Mr. Rosso.Copy !req
697. I mean -Copy !req
698. I know,
but why stop now?Copy !req
699. We're almost home free.Copy !req
700. All right. Lindsay.
Lindsay, I understand.Copy !req
701. You care about your grades
and your transcript.Copy !req
702. But if you get suspended,Copy !req
703. it goes on your transcript.Copy !req
704. Then you really will
be screwed.Copy !req
705. You're manipulating me.Copy !req
706. What?Copy !req
707. You're manipulating me.Copy !req
708. - No, I'm not.
- Yes, you are.Copy !req
709. And, you know, it's really
hard to say no to you,Copy !req
710. but I have to.
I'm sorry.Copy !req
711. I can't go in there and lie.Copy !req
712. I'm not going to.Copy !req
713. - Okay, fine. Don't lie.
- What?Copy !req
714. No, let's go in there,
and we'll tell 'em what we did.Copy !req
715. What's the difference?Copy !req
716. You'll get a nice
slap on the wrist,Copy !req
717. and I'll get, what,
suspended? Expelled?Copy !req
718. That is not fair,
Daniel.Copy !req
719. What do you think,
I want to be terrible at school?Copy !req
720. You think I like it?Copy !req
721. I wish I was
as smart as you.Copy !req
722. I wish it all
came easy to me.Copy !req
723. But it doesn't.Copy !req
724. You know, when I was...
when I was in sixth grade,Copy !req
725. they told us when we got
to junior high,Copy !req
726. we'd be either
in track one,Copy !req
727. track two, or track three.Copy !req
728. Track one's
the smart kids,Copy !req
729. track two's
the normal kids,Copy !req
730. track three
is the dumb kids.Copy !req
731. And what do you think
I got?Copy !req
732. How do you think
it feelsCopy !req
733. to be told you're dumbCopy !req
734. when you're
11 years old?Copy !req
735. You are not dumb.Copy !req
736. I just wanted
to prove him wrong.Copy !req
737. Just once.Copy !req
738. Even if I am cheating.Copy !req
739. "If a pregnant woman
has sex,Copy !req
740. can the baby get...
poked?"Copy !req
741. Hey. Hey. Hyenas!Copy !req
742. Can I get through
one questionCopy !req
743. without you guys gettin'
hysterical on me?Copy !req
744. Come on.
Uh... listen,Copy !req
745. sex is perfectly safe
for the fetus.Copy !req
746. It's, uh
it's not gonna come outCopy !req
747. with dents on its head
like a golf ball or something,Copy !req
748. I mean, Dellage got poked
in the eye.Copy !req
749. But what are you gonna do?Copy !req
750. I'm kiddin'.
I'm kiddin', Dellage.Copy !req
751. Listen. Chapter 13 in the text
tomorrow for a pop quiz.Copy !req
752. Whoop! You didn't
hear it from me.Copy !req
753. Hey, uh, Sam? Sam?Copy !req
754. Could I talk to you
for a minute?Copy !req
755. In my office?Copy !req
756. Sure.Copy !req
757. When I was goin'
through these questions,Copy !req
758. I was a little disturbed
by yours.Copy !req
759. H... how did you know
which one was mine?Copy !req
760. I thought, I thought
it was anonymous.Copy !req
761. You're the only one
with "Star Trek" notebook paper.Copy !req
762. Oh.Copy !req
763. Where'd you find out
about this activity?Copy !req
764. Uh...Copy !req
765. I saw a movie.Copy !req
766. Oh, I see.Copy !req
767. Um...Copy !req
768. Well, you know,Copy !req
769. in movies like that,Copy !req
770. they... they sensationalize
certain things.Copy !req
771. But in reality,Copy !req
772. those things
don't usually happen.Copy !req
773. You know what
I'm tryin' to say?Copy !req
774. All right. I'm gonna
tell you the truth.Copy !req
775. Plain language.
But listen,Copy !req
776. you can't tell anybody
we had this conversation.Copy !req
777. Your permission slip
for sex edCopy !req
778. doesn't cover this stuff.Copy !req
779. I could get in a lot of trouble
for what I'm gonna tell you.Copy !req
780. All right?Copy !req
781. Okay.Copy !req
782. Fair enough.Copy !req
783. Um...Copy !req
784. Certain men,
uh, not me.Copy !req
785. Huh?
Torture over.Copy !req
786. We're done.Copy !req
787. But just... just
I mean,Copy !req
788. those movies,
it's not reality.Copy !req
789. Okay,
if it was reality,Copy !req
790. I'd be freaked out
myself.Copy !req
791. - Okay?
- Yeah.Copy !req
792. Uh, thank you,
Mr. Fredricks.Copy !req
793. No problem.Copy !req
794. All right.
Get outta here, cowboy.Copy !req
795. Uh, I - I have
just one more question.Copy !req
796. What is it?Copy !req
797. Uh, could you explain
this joke to me?Copy !req
798. So, there's this guy
with no arms and no legs...Copy !req
799. Hey.Copy !req
800. If you want to tell
the truth, it's cool.Copy !req
801. Whatever you want.Copy !req
802. No.Copy !req
803. Daniel, let's just
stick to our story.Copy !req
804. Okay.Copy !req
805. When we get in there,Copy !req
806. let me handle it. Okay?Copy !req
807. Well, I'm cheesed off
right now, and I don't care.Copy !req
808. Just try to keep
your temper.Copy !req
809. Hi. We're Lindsay Weir's
parents.Copy !req
810. Uh, Mom, Dad.Copy !req
811. What are you doing here?Copy !req
812. Oh. Honey, we...Copy !req
813. we felt terrible
about last night.Copy !req
814. You've always been
truthful with us,Copy !req
815. so we never
should've doubted you.Copy !req
816. Nobody falsely
accuses my daughter!Copy !req
817. Honey. Shh.Copy !req
818. It's okay.
I mean, it happens.Copy !req
819. Not to members of this family,
it doesn't!Copy !req
820. I'm gonna give this Kowchevski
joker a piece of my mind.Copy !req
821. Your father
even closed the store.Copy !req
822. Now, let's be patient
and try and hear everyone out.Copy !req
823. Let's be a team.Copy !req
824. We don't actually know
that anyone cheated.Copy !req
825. I do.Copy !req
826. Well, fine.
unfortunately,Copy !req
827. an anonymous note
isn't sufficient proof.Copy !req
828. There was no note.Copy !req
829. There's no note?Copy !req
830. No. I use this
as a ploy sometimesCopy !req
831. to get a confession.Copy !req
832. How do you expect to have
real relationshipsCopy !req
833. with these kids
if you're lying to them?Copy !req
834. Let me tell you
something.Copy !req
835. I knew kids like
Desario in Vietnam.Copy !req
836. Those were the kind of kids
that got you killed.Copy !req
837. Everyone's here!Copy !req
838. And if she said she didn't
help this kid cheat,Copy !req
839. then she didn't!Copy !req
840. She tutored him,
and it worked.Copy !req
841. Yes. You shouldn't
be punishing her.Copy !req
842. You should be paying her
for doing your job.Copy !req
843. Mr. Weir, uh, Harold,Copy !req
844. it's recently come
to my attentionCopy !req
845. that there was
no anonymous note written.Copy !req
846. There was no note?Copy !req
847. No. It was a fraud.Copy !req
848. - I - I apologize.
- See? I told you.Copy !req
849. But we're still
not entirely convincedCopy !req
850. these two didn't cheat.Copy !req
851. Oh, god.Copy !req
852. So you want to punish
my daughter,Copy !req
853. but you have no proof?Copy !req
854. Look, Mr. Weir,Copy !req
855. it should've never
come to this.Copy !req
856. I've talked to Lindsay.Copy !req
857. I know she
didn't do anything.Copy !req
858. Daniel, did you
cheat on this test?Copy !req
859. - No.
- Good.Copy !req
860. - Then I'm satisfied.
- You're satisifed?Copy !req
861. - I'm not satisfied.
- Give it up, Frank.Copy !req
862. - It's over.
- What is going on here?Copy !req
863. I took off work for this?Copy !req
864. I apologize
for the inconvenience.Copy !req
865. No, no, no.
Hold on a second.Copy !req
866. I've got an idea.Copy !req
867. I have the algebra test
that Daniel took.Copy !req
868. If he can do
the first problem,Copy !req
869. I will not only get down
on my hands and kneesCopy !req
870. and beg everyone in this room
for forgiveness,Copy !req
871. but I'll quit.Copy !req
872. I will resign.Copy !req
873. I'll never teach again.Copy !req
874. That'd be a start.Copy !req
875. I already took the test.Copy !req
876. You can't make me
take it again.Copy !req
877. Yes, I can.Copy !req
878. Come on, Daniel,
one problemCopy !req
879. and this all goes away.Copy !req
880. Come on, son.Copy !req
881. Go ahead, Daniel.Copy !req
882. Okay.Copy !req
883. I just need to use
the quadratic formula.Copy !req
884. See?Copy !req
885. Look at him go.Copy !req
886. Hey, Sam.Copy !req
887. Oh.
Hi, Cindy.Copy !req
888. I'm sorry if I was
acting weird at lunch.Copy !req
889. Were you acting weird?Copy !req
890. Well, anyways,Copy !req
891. uh, it turns out that
I can go to the carnival.Copy !req
892. So, I mean,
if you don't...Copy !req
893. if you still don't have
a scooper, I'm available.Copy !req
894. Well, Jeanine already said
that she was gonna.Copy !req
895. Okay.Copy !req
896. But, hey, we can always
use another scooper.Copy !req
897. And, look. Grab a brush.Copy !req
898. Thank you.Copy !req
899. So, what time
should I be there?Copy !req
900. Well, I don't know.
It starts at, like, noon,Copy !req
901. so maybe you should
come at 11:00.Copy !req
902. A.M.? P.M.?Copy !req
903. 12 noon.Copy !req
904. No. Sam.Copy !req
905. He's got a problem,
that's all.Copy !req
906. What is that?Copy !req
907. That is a student
that Mr. Rosso believes in.Copy !req
908. Uh, Led Zeppelin
is actually the nameCopy !req
909. of a popular rock band.Copy !req
910. I know who
Led Zeppelin is!Copy !req
911. Now what the hell's
goin' on here?Copy !req
912. Are you kidding us
with this crap?Copy !req
913. - Lindsay, you lied to us?
- Mom, I didn't -Copy !req
914. Do you have any idea
how much money I'm losing?Copy !req
915. Look, don't blame
Lindsay.Copy !req
916. It's not her fault.Copy !req
917. It's mine.Copy !req
918. She was just tryin'
to help me.Copy !req
919. Nobody else ever does.Copy !req
920. I mean,
what do you think,Copy !req
921. I want to be
terrible at school?Copy !req
922. You think I like it?Copy !req
923. I wish I was smart,
you know?Copy !req
924. I wish it all came easy to me,
but it doesn't.Copy !req
925. You know,
when I was in sixth grade,Copy !req
926. they told us when
we got to junior high,Copy !req
927. we'd be
either in track one,Copy !req
928. track two, or track three.Copy !req
929. Track one's
the smart kids.Copy !req
930. Track two's
the normal kids.Copy !req
931. Track three's
the dumb kids.Copy !req
932. And what do you
think I got?Copy !req
933. How do you think it feels
to be told that you're dumbCopy !req
934. in ink when you're
11 years old?Copy !req
935. I mean, where are you
supposed to go from there?Copy !req
936. Be cool.Copy !req
937. Look. She's as high
as a kite!Copy !req
938. My daughter is not high!Copy !req
939. Harold,
what is going on?Copy !req
940. I - I thinks it's
a nervous reaction...Copy !req
941. I don't know
what's happening.Copy !req
942. to a tense situation.
I don't -Copy !req
943. - Cheese and crackers.
- He's track three!Copy !req
944. Lindsay,
what's going on?Copy !req
945. Will you
stop laughing?Copy !req
946. - You started all this.
- No, I did not start all this!Copy !req
947. - Yes, you did.
- Yes, sir, you did.Copy !req
948. This school is the wrong
school for my daughter!Copy !req
949. I asked him
to do one question.Copy !req
950. You do not know
what you're talking about!Copy !req
951. She's a track one girl!Copy !req