1. Previously on
"Freaks and Geeks"...Copy !req
2. Sergeant Pepper,
where's the rest ofCopy !req
3. the Lonely Hearts Club Band?Copy !req
4. Lindsay, is this bonehead
a friend of yours?Copy !req
5. I like Sam.Copy !req
6. Oh.Copy !req
7. Do you think
that there's any chanceCopy !req
8. that this may
actually happen?Copy !req
9. You really like her,
don't you?Copy !req
10. So if they open this new
sporting goods megastoreCopy !req
11. at the mall,Copy !req
12. we're in for a real fight.Copy !req
13. Well, if I were them,
I'd be the nervous ones.Copy !req
14. I wouldn't shop at that big
megastore if you paid me.Copy !req
15. Oh, I like this girl.
Isn't she great, Lindsay?Copy !req
16. Uh, yeah,
she's... great.Copy !req
17. So I hear
something very excitingCopy !req
18. is happening this week
at school.Copy !req
19. That's right. Vice President
George Herbert Walker BushCopy !req
20. is coming to our school
to speak at an assemblyCopy !req
21. in the cafeteria.Copy !req
22. Boy, I wish there was a way
I could getCopy !req
23. the vice president
to stop at my store.Copy !req
24. You can't pay
for that kind of publicity.Copy !req
25. You know, the most exciting
thing is Cindy,Copy !req
26. because she's head of
the Young Republicans club,Copy !req
27. gets to introduce him.Copy !req
28. Wow, that is a big honor,
isn't it, Lindsay?Copy !req
29. Yeah, if you're
a Republican.Copy !req
30. Oh, and you're not?Copy !req
31. No, I'm a Democrat.Copy !req
32. You know,
everyone's a DemocratCopy !req
33. till they get
a little money.Copy !req
34. Then they come
to their senses.Copy !req
35. It looks pretty good.Copy !req
36. What, are the Blues Brothers
doing a show in town tonight?Copy !req
37. No. George Bush is coming
to speak to the school.Copy !req
38. The porn star?Copy !req
39. The vice president of
the United States of America.Copy !req
40. George Bush.Copy !req
41. Hi, guys.Copy !req
42. Hey.Copy !req
43. Hey.Copy !req
44. - Hey.
- Hey.Copy !req
45. What's wrong?Copy !req
46. I'm a little nervous.Copy !req
47. I just found out
we have to playCopy !req
48. "Hail to the Chief"
when Bush arrives.Copy !req
49. There's a lot of tuba.Copy !req
50. Don't worry about it, Amy.Copy !req
51. Bush probably doesn't know
anything about the tuba.Copy !req
52. I can see it now.Copy !req
53. Stop!Copy !req
54. All right, you guys.
Come on, beat it.Copy !req
55. There's no hanging out
under the stairs.Copy !req
56. What? Since when?Copy !req
57. Since the vice president
is coming.Copy !req
58. Come on, gimme a break.Copy !req
59. The secret service wants
all these areas cleared out.Copy !req
60. How we ever gonna
plan our coup?Copy !req
61. Don't even joke, Desario.Copy !req
62. I can get you thrown in jail
just for saying that.Copy !req
63. Come on, let's go.Copy !req
64. Coooooup.
Coup. Coup.Copy !req
65. Don't joke about it.Copy !req
66. It's okay.
I have to practice, anyway.Copy !req
67. Want to hang out
after school?Copy !req
68. I don't know.
I have to practice.Copy !req
69. Gotta study.Copy !req
70. You're a bad influence.Copy !req
71. So I'll see you at 6:30?Copy !req
72. See ya later.Copy !req
73. Bye.Copy !req
74. I hope
the game's good tonight.Copy !req
75. Definitely.Copy !req
76. - It will be. Trust me.
- Ha, ha, ha.Copy !req
77. Hey, guys.
What's happening?Copy !req
78. We don't know.
It's all going on over there.Copy !req
79. Once you start
down that dark path,Copy !req
80. forever will it
dominate your destiny.Copy !req
81. At least that's what
Yoda always says.Copy !req
82. I mean, not all cheerleaders
have to be pretty,Copy !req
83. but their cheerleaders
aren't even remotely pretty.Copy !req
84. I mean, they're dirty.Copy !req
85. You know what it is?
It's disrespectful.Copy !req
86. It's disrespectful
to their team.Copy !req
87. It's disrespectful
to their school.Copy !req
88. If I was their student body,
I wouldn't allow it.Copy !req
89. Hey, not all our cheerleaders
are pretty.Copy !req
90. You can say that again.Copy !req
91. Todd, shut up.Copy !req
92. I wasn't talking about you.Copy !req
93. How about
you get over yourself?Copy !req
94. Sam, you're not gonna
defend me?Copy !req
95. What? He... he said
he wasn't talking about you.Copy !req
96. So you're just
gonna let it go?Copy !req
97. Would you stop?Copy !req
98. I like Sam.Copy !req
99. What, do you want
to see us fight?Copy !req
100. I'd like to see that.Copy !req
101. Mousetrap! I win!Copy !req
102. Congratulations, Bill.Copy !req
103. Maybe you can get the school
to start a team.Copy !req
104. Funny.Copy !req
105. Sam, don't worry.
It's just a game.Copy !req
106. I mean,
I'm good at Mousetrap,Copy !req
107. and you're really good
at Kerplunk.Copy !req
108. No. No, no, no.
It's not that.Copy !req
109. It's just this thing
with Cindy.Copy !req
110. She's kinda...
she's kinda boring.Copy !req
111. Really?Copy !req
112. It's weird hanging out
with her friends.Copy !req
113. I mean, all she ever wants to do
is make out and stuff.Copy !req
114. I'd kill
to be that bored.Copy !req
115. Maybe you're not
doing this right.Copy !req
116. I mean, aren't you supposed to
go out on dates and stuff?Copy !req
117. Well, y... yeah.
We went to the mall twice,Copy !req
118. and we went to this
football game once,Copy !req
119. and after that,
we went to a different mall.Copy !req
120. That sounds fantastic.Copy !req
121. Maybe you should
take her out on a dateCopy !req
122. and do something
that you want to do.Copy !req
123. But what if she doesn't
want to do what I want to do?Copy !req
124. Then why are you
going out with her?Copy !req
125. Because she's a goddess!Copy !req
126. Am I the last sane man
on this godforsaken planet?Copy !req
127. Hey, pass her over here.Copy !req
128. I'd move to the mall
if she wanted me to.Copy !req
129. All right. I'll ask.
Just shut up already.Copy !req
130. So how come we never
hang out at your house?Copy !req
131. Um, 'cause
I hate it there?Copy !req
132. Really?Copy !req
133. Yes, really.Copy !req
134. How come everyone always thinks
I'm joking all the time?Copy !req
135. Something to do with my voice,
isn't it?Copy !req
136. That's what I think.Copy !req
137. I mean, your parents
seem so nice.Copy !req
138. Well, they're not
bad people.Copy !req
139. They're good at their jobs.Copy !req
140. I guess...
I guess raising meCopy !req
141. wasn't one of the things
they learned to do in college.Copy !req
142. So how'd you turn out to be
such a great guy?Copy !req
143. Am I?Copy !req
144. I don't know. I was, uh,
I was raised by a nanny.Copy !req
145. Yeah.
Catherine.Copy !req
146. She was pretty...
she was pretty great.Copy !req
147. You know, she was the best mommy
money could buy.Copy !req
148. I didn't know that.Copy !req
149. I'm glad you told me.Copy !req
150. Yeah. Well.Copy !req
151. I think it's important that
we tell each other everything.Copy !req
152. Don't you?Copy !req
153. Yeah. Of course.Copy !req
154. I want to tell you
something about myself.Copy !req
155. It's really important,Copy !req
156. so you gotta promise me
you won't freak out.Copy !req
157. Oh, I'm pretty hard
to freak out.Copy !req
158. No, I'm serious.
You promise?Copy !req
159. I can try to promise.Copy !req
160. If you killed someone
or something, though...Copy !req
161. No. You know,
forget it.Copy !req
162. I'm sorry. Go on.Copy !req
163. Well...Copy !req
164. This isn't
really that uncommon.Copy !req
165. But...Copy !req
166. But when I was born...Copy !req
167. I had the potential to be...Copy !req
168. male or female.Copy !req
169. Yeah.
Me too.Copy !req
170. No, I mean... I mean,
I was born with both...Copy !req
171. both male and female parts.Copy !req
172. Uh huh.Copy !req
173. My parents made a decision
with the doctorsCopy !req
174. that I should be a girl.Copy !req
175. I mean, thank God,
because that's who I am.Copy !req
176. But...Copy !req
177. It's still
a really big part of my life...Copy !req
178. And I thought
you should know.Copy !req
179. No, this is...Copy !req
180. good that you
told me this.Copy !req
181. Are you freaking out?Copy !req
182. No. You know, it,
you're...Copy !req
183. You're, uh,
you're all girl now.Copy !req
184. Yeah.Copy !req
185. Yeah. So, you know,
it's okay, you know?Copy !req
186. It's, uh, if I was dating you
when you were just born,Copy !req
187. things, uh, might be
a little differentCopy !req
188. 'cause of all that stuff.Copy !req
189. But now you're, uh,
you're all girl now,Copy !req
190. so it's... okay.Copy !req
191. Thanks, Ken.Copy !req
192. Yeah. You know,
it's, uh, I, uh,Copy !req
193. I had my appendix out,
so you know, I've been there.Copy !req
194. Ha, ha, ha, ha.Copy !req
195. Lindsay, old Jeff Rosso
is about to make your day.Copy !req
196. You've heard of a guyCopy !req
197. named Vice President
George Bush, haven't you?Copy !req
198. Yeah.Copy !req
199. Well, I've arranged for you
to ask him the first questionCopy !req
200. during the informal Q&A
with the student body.Copy !req
201. I don't want to do that.Copy !req
202. Why?Copy !req
203. Because, I'm a Democrat.Copy !req
204. So?Copy !req
205. So I wouldn't have voted
for Reagan if I was old enough.Copy !req
206. Why would I want to
talk to his lackey?Copy !req
207. Gee, I don't know.Copy !req
208. Maybe because he's the second
most powerful man on Earth.Copy !req
209. Maybe because
we live in a countryCopy !req
210. where we can actually
question our leadersCopy !req
211. without fear of being
hacked to death by a machete.Copy !req
212. Mr. Rosso, I didn't -Copy !req
213. Hey, you know what?
Forget it.Copy !req
214. I don't want you to talk
to the vice president.Copy !req
215. Plenty of people hereCopy !req
216. who actually care
about their country.Copy !req
217. I guess me
and my hippie friendsCopy !req
218. were all just
wasting our timeCopy !req
219. at Berkeley demonstrating
and stopping an unjust war.Copy !req
220. Probably shouldn't
have bothered.Copy !req
221. Okay, Mr. Rosso. Stop.Copy !req
222. Come on, Lindsay.Copy !req
223. I was so excited
for you to do it!Copy !req
224. You're a special person,
and it's your destiny,Copy !req
225. if you like it or not,Copy !req
226. to be interacting
with world leaders.Copy !req
227. Do you really believe that?Copy !req
228. You bet I do.Copy !req
229. Okay. Fine.
I'll do it.Copy !req
230. I've got the best job
in the world!Copy !req
231. 12 grand a year,
and I'm overpaid.Copy !req
232. Excuse me, sir.Copy !req
233. I'm gonna have to
ask you and this young ladyCopy !req
234. to please
leave the office.Copy !req
235. - Anything wrong?
- No, sir.Copy !req
236. We just need to inspect
and cordon off these areasCopy !req
237. until after
the vice president's visit.Copy !req
238. Uh, where am I
supposed to work?Copy !req
239. Sorry, sir,
it's not my problem.Copy !req
240. - Thanks very much.
- Isn't this exciting?Copy !req
241. Thank you.
Do me a favor?Copy !req
242. Give me a room sweep
on the left side.Copy !req
243. Yeah.Copy !req
244. Uh, Crockpot, you're going
to get a visual on that bogie.Copy !req
245. He's coming at you.Copy !req
246. He's about 6'3".
Real Dr. Feelgood look.Copy !req
247. Check him out.Copy !req
248. Wow.
It's sixth period already.Copy !req
249. Yep.Copy !req
250. Did you have
a good lunch?Copy !req
251. I thought the cafeteria food
looked a little gross,Copy !req
252. so I had an apple.Copy !req
253. It was actually
pretty good.Copy !req
254. If you like salisbury steak.Copy !req
255. Um,
I have to get to math, so...Copy !req
256. Yeah, I got chemistry.Copy !req
257. Give you a call.Copy !req
258. So what should I ask?Copy !req
259. Well, ask him something
really tough.Copy !req
260. You know, put him on the spot.Copy !req
261. What would he
not want to talk about?Copy !req
262. They say that Reagan
had Iran delayCopy !req
263. the release
of the hostagesCopy !req
264. until after
he was elected.Copy !req
265. You should ask him about that.
Write that one down.Copy !req
266. I bet he flips.Copy !req
267. I want to ask him about
trickle down economics.Copy !req
268. Oh, Lindsay,
that's boring.Copy !req
269. Nobody wants to
hear about that.Copy !req
270. Here,
give me this notebook.Copy !req
271. I want to ask him about
the aliens at Roswell.Copy !req
272. Come on.Copy !req
273. I gotta write down
some real questions.Copy !req
274. Okay.Copy !req
275. How's it going?Copy !req
276. Great. I think
I'm gonna get a "B" in math.Copy !req
277. I'm so relieved.Copy !req
278. Cindy, I was kinda
thinking that maybeCopy !req
279. you'd like to go out
on a date with me.Copy !req
280. Like a real date,
you know?Copy !req
281. Sam, you're so sweet.Copy !req
282. Of course
I'll go out on a date with you.Copy !req
283. Yeah?Copy !req
284. Hey, you know
what we could do?Copy !req
285. All the football playersCopy !req
286. are going to these
batting cages,Copy !req
287. like this
goofy golf type place,Copy !req
288. and then afterwards,Copy !req
289. they're gonna go
swim in this lake.Copy !req
290. Doesn't that sound
like fun?Copy !req
291. Yeah. Well, actually,
I was thinkingCopy !req
292. that maybe I could
plan the date.Copy !req
293. I'd take you out.
It would be my surprise.Copy !req
294. It would be on me,
you know?Copy !req
295. I get it. You want to
take your girlfriend outCopy !req
296. like a real gentleman.Copy !req
297. Yeah.Copy !req
298. You know what?
I think that's really romantic.Copy !req
299. Cool.Copy !req
300. I can't take this anymore.
Why are you acting like this?Copy !req
301. Acting like what?Copy !req
302. You can't even look at me!Copy !req
303. I'm looking at you.Copy !req
304. What are you thinking
about what I told you?Copy !req
305. Nothing.
You know, you told me,Copy !req
306. and I'm fine with it.Copy !req
307. You're not fine with it!Copy !req
308. You're acting
completely weird.Copy !req
309. Well, I don't think I am.Copy !req
310. I mean,
how am I supposed to actCopy !req
311. after you tell me
something like that?Copy !req
312. I don't know,Copy !req
313. but you're not
reacting at all.Copy !req
314. I don't know what to say.
There's nothing I can do.Copy !req
315. I... I can't change it.Copy !req
316. You're such a jerk.Copy !req
317. Amy, tell me what to say,Copy !req
318. 'cause clearly
you have something in mind.Copy !req
319. Do you still like me?Copy !req
320. Yeah! Of course
I like you still.Copy !req
321. And you can live with this?Copy !req
322. Live with what?
It's over.Copy !req
323. I mean, you know,
move on.Copy !req
324. Ken, you don't understand.Copy !req
325. It's not that easy.Copy !req
326. No matter
what the doctors did,Copy !req
327. there's always gonna be
some part of me that's...Copy !req
328. - A guy?
- You know what, forget it.Copy !req
329. If it were me, I'd take herCopy !req
330. to a Broadway show.Copy !req
331. Broadway?
We're in Michigan.Copy !req
332. Dinner theater?Copy !req
333. "The Jerk" is playing
at the discount theater.Copy !req
334. That's not exactly
romantic.Copy !req
335. Laughter is the ultimate
aphrodisiac.Copy !req
336. Get a woman laughing
and you've got a woman loving.Copy !req
337. You gotta get her
a really good present.Copy !req
338. You could make her something.
Like out of paper mache.Copy !req
339. Yeah, that's great.
It's from the heart.Copy !req
340. Hey, Harris?Copy !req
341. What kind of presents
do you get Judith?Copy !req
342. Judith has very
particular tastes.Copy !req
343. About the only thing
she ever wants is scented oilsCopy !req
344. - and plenty of time with her man.
- Yuck!Copy !req
345. I have the perfect gift.Copy !req
346. What is it?Copy !req
347. Your grandmother
gave this to meCopy !req
348. when I was just
about Cindy's age.Copy !req
349. It's an heirloom.Copy !req
350. I thought it was the most
elegant thing I'd ever seen,Copy !req
351. and I'm sure
if your grandmother knewCopy !req
352. how important
this was to you,Copy !req
353. she would want you
to have it.Copy !req
354. And I want you
to have it.Copy !req
355. After all,
this is your first love.Copy !req
356. Thanks, Mom.Copy !req
357. I think I'm gonna
break up with Amy.Copy !req
358. What? Why?Copy !req
359. I just... you know,
I don't...Copy !req
360. I don't really think
we're right for each other.Copy !req
361. Really? Oh.Copy !req
362. I thought you two were
sort of the perfect couple.Copy !req
363. Okay, look, I'm going to
tell you guys something now,Copy !req
364. and you have to promise
not to be jerks about itCopy !req
365. and not to tell anyone
ever, okay?Copy !req
366. Yeah, that's cool, man.Copy !req
367. Amy's not really a girl.Copy !req
368. What?Copy !req
369. I mean, you know, she is...
she's a girl,Copy !req
370. but she's kinda...
she's kinda part guy too.Copy !req
371. What's that mean?Copy !req
372. It means
that when she was born,Copy !req
373. she was packing
both a gunCopy !req
374. and the holster.Copy !req
375. Um...Copy !req
376. Well, does
does she still have,Copy !req
377. you know... the gun?Copy !req
378. No. The doctors
took care of it.Copy !req
379. Okay.Copy !req
380. Well, then...Copy !req
381. She's a girl.Copy !req
382. I don't think
it works that way.Copy !req
383. I think you better
get rid of her.Copy !req
384. I don't want to
break up with her.Copy !req
385. I really like her.Copy !req
386. I might even... love her.Copy !req
387. Really?Copy !req
388. Yeah.Copy !req
389. Does that mean
you're gay?Copy !req
390. I don't know.
Does it?Copy !req
391. I was joking.Copy !req
392. Oh.Copy !req
393. Well, welcome
to my new "office,"Copy !req
394. courtesy of big brother.Copy !req
395. It's kind of cramped.
Sorry about that.Copy !req
396. Quite all right.Copy !req
397. All right. Ken Miller.
Here. Talkin'.Copy !req
398. What can I do for you?Copy !req
399. Um, I, uh,
can't believe it myself,Copy !req
400. but I actually came here
to ask you some advice.Copy !req
401. Well, that's what
they pay me for.Copy !req
402. Yeah. Um...Copy !req
403. Well...Copy !req
404. There's a small,
little chance that...Copy !req
405. I might be gay.Copy !req
406. I see. That's cool.Copy !req
407. And, you know, I thought
you'd be a good personCopy !req
408. to talk to about it,
since you're gay.Copy !req
409. I'm not gay.Copy !req
410. - You're not?
- No.Copy !req
411. Oh. Man.
I just always thought...Copy !req
412. Why did you think that?Copy !req
413. I... I don't know.
You just...Copy !req
414. You kinda have
this way about you,Copy !req
415. and I've... I've never
seen you with a woman.Copy !req
416. Well, I don't bring dates
to school.Copy !req
417. Look, there's nothing wrong
with being gay.Copy !req
418. It's just not
my personal preference.Copy !req
419. I think I'd better
get going.Copy !req
420. Ken, you can stay
and talk about this.Copy !req
421. No, I don't think I can.Copy !req
422. Come on.
Come on.Copy !req
423. No! Damn it!
Come on!Copy !req
424. Mother -Copy !req
425. Mr. Rosso?Copy !req
426. Lindsay.Copy !req
427. What are you doing?Copy !req
428. I locked my keys
in my car.Copy !req
429. You need some help?Copy !req
430. I think I can handle it.Copy !req
431. Oh...Copy !req
432. Bush's people...
rejected your questions.Copy !req
433. So, they've written one for you.
Here.Copy !req
434. "What is your favorite
place to eatCopy !req
435. in the state of Michigan?"Copy !req
436. What the...?
What happened?Copy !req
437. The Bush people
found the ones you wroteCopy !req
438. too sophisticated.Copy !req
439. Sophisticated?
What does that mean?Copy !req
440. That's code for
"nice try,Copy !req
441. but this is a glorified
photo opportunity."Copy !req
442. Look, I'm disappointed too,
okay?Copy !req
443. But let's try and keep
a positive perspectiveCopy !req
444. on all this, okay?Copy !req
445. You actually get to interactCopy !req
446. with the Vice President
of the United States.Copy !req
447. That's historic.Copy !req
448. Ooh. Maybe if I'm lucky,
he'll tell meCopy !req
449. which steakhouse
has the best prime rib.Copy !req
450. Don't you think
I'm P.O.'d too?Copy !req
451. I thought
we were gonna haveCopy !req
452. an actual political
conversation.Copy !req
453. You can't win
with these people.Copy !req
454. You know what
all my protestingCopy !req
455. accomplished
in the '60s at Berkeley?Copy !req
456. 16 scars on my head
from a teargas canister.Copy !req
457. We tried to get 'em
to stop the war.Copy !req
458. They stopped the war
when they felt like it.Copy !req
459. And now all my compatriotsCopy !req
460. are gettin' rich
working Wall Street,Copy !req
461. and I can't get my keys
out of my mother's car.Copy !req
462. What, that's it?
You're just gonna give up?Copy !req
463. Come on.
There's nothing we can do?Copy !req
464. No, there's something
we can do.Copy !req
465. You can go get
Brooksie the janitorCopy !req
466. to come out here
and help me.Copy !req
467. So I told Todd that
Republicans aren't... selfish.Copy !req
468. It's just
that they don't believeCopy !req
469. poor people
should get handouts.Copy !req
470. I mean,
they should get jobs.Copy !req
471. Handouts just make them lazy,
don't you think?Copy !req
472. Uh, I don't know.
I guess so.Copy !req
473. Well, they do.Copy !req
474. Todd never understood.
He's a Democrat.Copy !req
475. They like handouts.Copy !req
476. Um, and speaking
of handouts, ha, ha,Copy !req
477. Uh, I got you something.Copy !req
478. Really? Sam,
you're the best boyfriend.Copy !req
479. What'd you get me?Copy !req
480. What is it?Copy !req
481. It's an heirloom necklace.Copy !req
482. It's been in our family
for generations.Copy !req
483. How much did it cost?Copy !req
484. Um, I don't know.
It's an heirloom.Copy !req
485. Well, thank you.
That's very sweet.Copy !req
486. Well, do you want me
to put it on you?Copy !req
487. No, that's okay.Copy !req
488. You know, it's metal,Copy !req
489. so it'd be cold on my neck
and everything.Copy !req
490. Isn't that stupid?Copy !req
491. They're afraid
of real questions.Copy !req
492. He's not coming
to your high schoolCopy !req
493. to be interrogated by a bunch
of pimple faced teenagers.Copy !req
494. You have to be polite
to the man.Copy !req
495. Oh, so if you have a zit,
you're not entitledCopy !req
496. to an opinion?
Is that it?Copy !req
497. I just think
it's nice he's coming.Copy !req
498. I mean, I'm sure
he's a very busy man.Copy !req
499. Mom, busy doing what?Copy !req
500. Waiting for the president to die
so he can take over?Copy !req
501. Lindsay.Copy !req
502. Look, there's a more
important opportunityCopy !req
503. to be had here.Copy !req
504. I was thinking...
when you ask your question,Copy !req
505. you can mention my store.Copy !req
506. Dad, that's sick.Copy !req
507. It would be sick
if we went out of business.Copy !req
508. Your only affiliation
right now to any partyCopy !req
509. is to the Weir party.Copy !req
510. We need help.Copy !req
511. Mom, tell him to stop,
please.Copy !req
512. No, honey,
this is serious.Copy !req
513. Those megastores can offer
discounts your father can't.Copy !req
514. This is no big deal.
All you have to do is say,Copy !req
515. "hi, I'm Lindsay Weir.Copy !req
516. My father owns A1 sporting
goods out on 16 mile,"Copy !req
517. and then, "what's your favorite
place to eat in Michigan?"Copy !req
518. I can't believe
you're asking me to do that.Copy !req
519. Oh, and maybe
you could wearCopy !req
520. one of the store's
new t-shirts.Copy !req
521. - Show her, honey.
- Yeah.Copy !req
522. He hates these cans!Copy !req
523. Stay away
from the cans!Copy !req
524. Ha, ha, ha, ha!Copy !req
525. More cans!Copy !req
526. Isn't this great?Copy !req
527. Yeah, I guess so.Copy !req
528. Do you want some popcorn
or something?Copy !req
529. Will popcorn
make this movie funnier?Copy !req
530. Y... you don't think
this movie is funny?Copy !req
531. No. I think it's stupid.Copy !req
532. I mean, come on,
how old is this guy?Copy !req
533. He's got gray hair,Copy !req
534. and he's running around
like a five year old.Copy !req
535. What?Copy !req
536. Sam?Copy !req
537. Yeah?Copy !req
538. What are you...?Copy !req
539. Ow!Copy !req
540. What are you doing?Copy !req
541. I'm giving you something.Copy !req
542. Oh, god,
what are you giving me?Copy !req
543. I'm giving you a hickey,
you goof.Copy !req
544. Oh, my god!
I'm endangering your life!Copy !req
545. Cover me!Copy !req
546. You're covered!Copy !req
547. No, you guys, really,
Rosso's cool.Copy !req
548. Did you ever
really look at him?Copy !req
549. He's actually
kind of good looking.Copy !req
550. Yeah, if you're
attracted to guysCopy !req
551. that look like Jesus.Copy !req
552. Shut up!Copy !req
553. Hey.Copy !req
554. Hey, what's up?Copy !req
555. Hey, guys.Copy !req
556. What's that supposed
to mean, Daniel?Copy !req
557. Like, how's it going, guys?Copy !req
558. Oh, Jesus, Ken,
I didn't mean it like that.Copy !req
559. - What the hell, Ken?
- Take it easy, man.Copy !req
560. Oh, my god.Copy !req
561. Hey, Daniel, you okay?Copy !req
562. Yeah, I'm all right.Copy !req
563. Are you guys
gonna tell usCopy !req
564. what the hell
that was all about?Copy !req
565. Just forget it, Kim.Copy !req
566. Daniel, he just punched you
in the face!Copy !req
567. Give it a rest, okay?Copy !req
568. Amy.Copy !req
569. Amy!Copy !req
570. Can you just please
let me explain?Copy !req
571. I'm an idiot.
Please, just...Copy !req
572. Hey.Copy !req
573. You okay?Copy !req
574. Yeah. Are you?
You look weird.Copy !req
575. Huh?Copy !req
576. My best friends were punching
each other in the face tonight.Copy !req
577. Cindy and me went
to see "The Jerk,"Copy !req
578. and she didn't laugh once.Copy !req
579. Uh oh.Copy !req
580. What's wrong with me?Copy !req
581. I mean,
she's so pretty.Copy !req
582. How come
I don't like her?Copy !req
583. Sam, just 'cause
a girl's prettyCopy !req
584. doesn't mean
she's right for you.Copy !req
585. Not all good looking people
are cool.Copy !req
586. Yeah, I know.Copy !req
587. Well, don't worry about it.Copy !req
588. If it doesn't feel right,Copy !req
589. you can always
break up with her.Copy !req
590. No, I can't break up
with Cindy Sanders.Copy !req
591. Why not?Copy !req
592. Because people would think
I'm crazy.Copy !req
593. Why?Copy !req
594. Well, because
they can't believe that...Copy !req
595. she's going out with me
in the first place.Copy !req
596. Sam, you can't just
keep dating someoneCopy !req
597. if you don't like them.Copy !req
598. And -Copy !req
599. What's that
on your neck?Copy !req
600. A hickey.Copy !req
601. Man, Sam.Copy !req
602. What?Copy !req
603. Let me see it.Copy !req
604. You better wear
a turtleneckCopy !req
605. before Mom and Dad
see that.Copy !req
606. Come on, man, get in.Copy !req
607. I'll drive you home.Copy !req
608. Come on.Copy !req
609. Tricia, nice blouse.Copy !req
610. Red, white, and blue
looks good on you.Copy !req
611. Good morning, Miss.Copy !req
612. Wow!Copy !req
613. Mr. Rosso,
you look really good.Copy !req
614. I cleaned up nice,
if I do say so myself.Copy !req
615. So you ready?Copy !req
616. Yeah, I guess.Copy !req
617. Are you?Copy !req
618. Yeah. That whole thing
in the parking lot,Copy !req
619. that was crazy.
That was inappropriate.Copy !req
620. But uh, you know, we shouldn't
get so worked up about it.Copy !req
621. Let's just have fun.
The vice president is here!Copy !req
622. It's exciting, isn't it?Copy !req
623. Hey.Copy !req
624. Hey.Copy !req
625. So, you really
gonna do it?Copy !req
626. I'm a member
of the Weir party.Copy !req
627. Ha, ha, ha, ha!Copy !req
628. My stomach hurts.Copy !req
629. Yeah, my stomach
would hurt too,Copy !req
630. if I was breaking up with
the prettiest girl in school.Copy !req
631. I'm glad
your stomach hurts.Copy !req
632. Know what that is?
It's your body telling youCopy !req
633. you're making
a big mistake.Copy !req
634. No, Neal, I'm not
making a mistake, okay?Copy !req
635. Just because a girl's pretty
doesn't mean that she's cool.Copy !req
636. Okay, Sam,Copy !req
637. first of all,
of course it does.Copy !req
638. And secondly,
you're just scared.Copy !req
639. I mean, years from now, you're
gonna be sitting in your house,Copy !req
640. looking
at your unattractive kidsCopy !req
641. with your unattractive wife,
saying to yourself,Copy !req
642. "man, why did I ever dump
that goddess Cindy Sanders?"Copy !req
643. You know what, I can't listen
to any more of this.Copy !req
644. Have I ever told you
about the timeCopy !req
645. that I made out
with Vicki Appleby?Copy !req
646. Oh, shut up.Copy !req
647. You're such a liar.Copy !req
648. Hey, Amy.Copy !req
649. Whoa, wait up!Copy !req
650. Is everything okay?Copy !req
651. No. I can't even believe
I came to school today.Copy !req
652. Well, what's going on?Copy !req
653. Like you don't know,
Lindsay.Copy !req
654. No, I don't.Copy !req
655. You mean
Ken didn't tell you?Copy !req
656. Nobody'll
tell me anything.Copy !req
657. Do you want
to talk to me?Copy !req
658. Maybe I could help you.Copy !req
659. You know, Lindsay,
don't worry about it.Copy !req
660. I'll see you later.Copy !req
661. Hey, Amy!Copy !req
662. Good luck with
"Hail to the Chief"!Copy !req
663. Thanks.Copy !req
664. Hey.Copy !req
665. Are you Lindsay's brother?Copy !req
666. Sam. Yeah.Copy !req
667. Did you just puke?Copy !req
668. No. I'm nervous.Copy !req
669. Because of George Bush?Copy !req
670. I'm gonna break up
with Cindy Sanders.Copy !req
671. Wow. Why, man?Copy !req
672. She's hot.Copy !req
673. You know, she's just
really different than I am.Copy !req
674. Yeah. I... I know
how that one goes.Copy !req
675. I've been thinkingCopy !req
676. I have to break up
with my girlfriend too.Copy !req
677. Oh, how come?Copy !req
678. It's complicated.Copy !req
679. Very complicated.Copy !req
680. It's just we don't
have anything in common.Copy !req
681. I mean, she thought
"The Jerk" was stupid.Copy !req
682. You serious?Copy !req
683. Man, my girlfriend
loved "The Jerk."Copy !req
684. Well, we don't have
anything to talk about.Copy !req
685. She doesn't like
anything that I like.Copy !req
686. We never have
any fun together.Copy !req
687. That's too bad, man.Copy !req
688. Really, my...
my girlfriend's pretty coolCopy !req
689. when it comes to
stuff like that.Copy !req
690. God,
then what's the problem?Copy !req
691. I don't know.Copy !req
692. Well, I'm gonna break up
with Cindy Sanders.Copy !req
693. Good luck, buddy.Copy !req
694. Thanks.Copy !req
695. Sam, I've been
looking all over -Copy !req
696. What the hell is that?Copy !req
697. What?Copy !req
698. Sam, you're wearing
a turtleneck.Copy !req
699. Are you covering up
my hickey?Copy !req
700. What? No! No, no
I...Copy !req
701. It's kind of
embarrassing.Copy !req
702. Come on,
don't get all mad.Copy !req
703. Oh, thanks, Sam.Copy !req
704. So I guess if you got me
a diamond ringCopy !req
705. and I didn't wear it
because I was too embarrassed,Copy !req
706. you wouldn't get
all mad, either?Copy !req
707. Hey, come on!
I got you a necklace,Copy !req
708. and you've never worn it.Copy !req
709. It was ugly!Copy !req
710. It was an heirloom.Copy !req
711. Sam, do not start a fight
with me right now, okay?Copy !req
712. I have to go in there
and introduce Bush.Copy !req
713. Cindy...Copy !req
714. What?Copy !req
715. I don't want to be
your boyfriend anymore.Copy !req
716. I just want to go back
to being friends.Copy !req
717. Friends?Copy !req
718. Why would you just
want to be my friend?Copy !req
719. I just really want
to be your friend.Copy !req
720. Like before.Copy !req
721. No.Copy !req
722. No?Copy !req
723. No, Sam, you can't
break up with me.Copy !req
724. You're supposed
to be nice.Copy !req
725. That's the only reason
why I'm going out with youCopy !req
726. in the first place.Copy !req
727. Hey, I am nice!Copy !req
728. I'm just not
having any fun. Are you?Copy !req
729. No.Copy !req
730. No, I'm not
having any fun, Sam.Copy !req
731. Have your stupid
heirloom back.Copy !req
732. Um, you did
the right thing.Copy !req
733. You're too good for her.Copy !req
734. Are you gonna eat with us
at lunch today?Copy !req
735. Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
736. Thank God.Copy !req
737. Let's go.Copy !req
738. I'm sorry.Copy !req
739. And I don't care,
and I'm so sorry.Copy !req
740. I have to get
to the assembly.Copy !req
741. Okay.Copy !req
742. All right, everyone just eat
like you'd normally eat.Copy !req
743. Hello, my name's Rosso.
It'll be on your list.Copy !req
744. Jeffery Theodore Rosso?Copy !req
745. Yes.Copy !req
746. Sir, could you step
over here for a second?Copy !req
747. Sir, are you now
or have you ever beenCopy !req
748. a member of an organization
calledCopy !req
749. the Taft Students Alliance
for a New America?Copy !req
750. No.Copy !req
751. I mean, I might be
on their mailing listCopy !req
752. somewhere from way back,
but I'm certainly not -Copy !req
753. Well, unfortunately,Copy !req
754. you've been red flagged
as a security risk.Copy !req
755. I can't allow you
to attend the assembly.Copy !req
756. There must be a mistake.
I work here.Copy !req
757. Yeah, I know.Copy !req
758. Okay, now, I'm just
gonna have to escort youCopy !req
759. to a little holding area that
we've established over here.Copy !req
760. Oh, wait,
there he is!Copy !req
761. Mr. Rosso,
thank you so muchCopy !req
762. for giving Lindsay
this opportunity.Copy !req
763. Hey, Mr. Rosso,
what's going on?Copy !req
764. Where are you going?Copy !req
765. I guess I rocked the boat
a little bit in my youth.Copy !req
766. Don't worry about it,
Lindsay.Copy !req
767. Just go in there
and make the school proud.Copy !req
768. Mr. Rosso, please.
Step back. Step away.Copy !req
769. Wow.Copy !req
770. See, I told you
that guy was a kook.Copy !req
771. So what do
you teach here?Copy !req
772. Actually,
I'm a guidance counselor.Copy !req
773. Really?Copy !req
774. Sometimes I have to
just stand in one placeCopy !req
775. for 12 hours
and stare at a wall.Copy !req
776. You start to see things.Copy !req
777. Your feet...
The pain in your feet...Copy !req
778. Well, it's an important job.Copy !req
779. No, it's not.Copy !req
780. You ever heard of the vice
president getting assassinated?Copy !req
781. No. You know why?Copy !req
782. It's never happened.Copy !req
783. Will it ever happen?
No way.Copy !req
784. Because,
who cares?Copy !req
785. Know what I mean?Copy !req
786. Ladies and gentlemen,Copy !req
787. as the Republican National
Committee student liaisonCopy !req
788. for McKinley High School,Copy !req
789. I am honored
to present to you...Copy !req
790. the Vice President
of the United States of America,Copy !req
791. George Bush.Copy !req
792. Yeah, hail to the chief!Copy !req
793. This song rocks!Copy !req
794. You know, sometimes...
I mean, this sounds crazyCopy !req
795. but sometimes I thinkCopy !req
796. I just want to rip off
my vest and jacketCopy !req
797. and just put on a t-shirtCopy !req
798. and go and, like, make pancakes
somewhere or something.Copy !req
799. But, I mean,
that would be crazy, right?Copy !req
800. Hey...Copy !req
801. I've got a testCopy !req
802. which reveals what type of job
you're best suited for.Copy !req
803. You want to take it?Copy !req
804. Okay.Copy !req
805. Thanks, Jeff.Copy !req
806. Uh, now we're going
to open up the floorCopy !req
807. so the vice president
can take some questionsCopy !req
808. from our student body.Copy !req
809. And our first question
comes from Ms. Lindsay Weir.Copy !req
810. Ms. Weir, go right ahead.Copy !req
811. Mr. Vice President,
my name is Lindsay Weir.Copy !req
812. My dad owns A1 sporting goods
on 16 mile road.Copy !req
813. My question is...Copy !req
814. Why did your staff
reject my question?Copy !req
815. Are you afraid of an open
discourse with the students?Copy !req
816. Funny kid.Copy !req
817. One of McKinley's finest.Copy !req
818. "Do you like working
with major appliances?"Copy !req
819. That'd be a yes.Copy !req