1. They got a lotta crap here,
huh?Copy !req
2. Yeah, no kidding.Copy !req
3. I think I'm gonna try
to sell all my junk.Copy !req
4. You know, my crap is
way better than this crap.Copy !req
5. Look at all these books, man.Copy !req
6. Why do people
save their books,Copy !req
7. like...
read a book twice?Copy !req
8. They're probably just
bragging to us, you know?Copy !req
9. Ooh! Look at all these books
I've read.Copy !req
10. I'm so clever!Copy !req
11. I read a lot of books
and stuff!Copy !req
12. Oh... check it out, man!Copy !req
13. They got bongos!Copy !req
14. Yep.Copy !req
15. We could play "Evil Ways"
if we had these.Copy !req
16. Yeah, actually,
that would bringCopy !req
17. the Andopolis drum kit
to an even 30 pieces.Copy !req
18. 31 pieces.Copy !req
19. All right.
I'm gonna buy these, man.Copy !req
20. This garage sale rules.Copy !req
21. Hey, man, listen,
you gotta be quietCopy !req
22. because my dad's
really pissed off at me.Copy !req
23. Why?Copy !req
24. Did he see
your report card?Copy !req
25. Yeah. And I was playing
"American Band"Copy !req
26. while he was watching
"60 Minutes."Copy !req
27. Um...Copy !req
28. Nick...
where are your drums?Copy !req
29. I think you'd better
lower your voice, son.Copy !req
30. You had no right
to give my drums away!Copy !req
31. Those drums
were making you go deaf.Copy !req
32. Otherwise, you would have heard
all the timesCopy !req
33. that I tried to tell you
to clean up your act.Copy !req
34. You know
that I've been trying.Copy !req
35. Fine.
With a little more effort,Copy !req
36. you could end up
living in a cardboard box.Copy !req
37. Those drums were
my personal property.Copy !req
38. Your only personal property
is your future.Copy !req
39. Maybe the drums
are my future!Copy !req
40. Why don't you think
about that?Copy !req
41. End of conversation.Copy !req
42. You owe me money.Copy !req
43. Excuse me?Copy !req
44. Those were my drums,Copy !req
45. I paid for them,
and you sold them,Copy !req
46. and I want the money.Copy !req
47. How much did you
spend on drumsCopy !req
48. and how much
did you spend on drugs?Copy !req
49. Give me my money!Copy !req
50. End of conversation.Copy !req
51. Fine. You know what?
I'm outta here.Copy !req
52. And I hope that you enjoy
your peace and quiet.Copy !req
53. There's something wrong
with these cans!Copy !req
54. He hates these cans!Copy !req
55. "The Jerk"
is the perfect movie.Copy !req
56. There isn't one scene in it
that isn't hilarious.Copy !req
57. Nope.
"Caddyshack" is better.Copy !req
58. Way funnier.Copy !req
59. Ted Knight
is the funniest.Copy !req
60. Ooh, Billy,
Billy, Billy.Copy !req
61. Ooh, Billy, Billy, Billy!
Huh?Copy !req
62. No, no.
That movie is so uneven.Copy !req
63. I mean, yeah,
half of it rules,Copy !req
64. but half of it sucks.Copy !req
65. It's just like "Stripes."Copy !req
66. You could not tell me
what happenedCopy !req
67. in the second half
of the movie.Copy !req
68. They get reassigned
to EuropeCopy !req
69. to work on
a top secret missionCopy !req
70. concerning the urban
assault vehicle.Copy !req
71. Then the stupid border guys
wouldn't let them in.Copy !req
72. - That's when, um‒
- Um, Sam?Copy !req
73. Can I talk to you
for a second?Copy !req
74. Uh...Copy !req
75. Yeah.Copy !req
76. Over here.Copy !req
77. Oh.Copy !req
78. Sam, I just broke up
with Todd.Copy !req
79. Really?Copy !req
80. Wow.Copy !req
81. Um... I'm sorry.Copy !req
82. Don't be!
Todd's a jerk.Copy !req
83. He's only interested
in one thing.Copy !req
84. All these jocks are.Copy !req
85. Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
86. So anyways,
I was wondering,Copy !req
87. are you gonna be home
tonight?Copy !req
88. - Yeah.
- Good.Copy !req
89. 'Cause
I'm gonna call you.Copy !req
90. I really need someone
to talk to.Copy !req
91. Okay. Uh...Copy !req
92. And, you know, any time.
Ha, ha.Copy !req
93. Oh, my god!
It's happening!Copy !req
94. You guys,
where's my chair?Copy !req
95. - Shallots?
- It's a potato.Copy !req
96. They're shallots, right?Copy !req
97. Hey, is anybody
using this chair?Copy !req
98. No.Copy !req
99. You can have it.Copy !req
100. Really?Copy !req
101. That's really nice
of you.Copy !req
102. Grateful Dead.Copy !req
103. Music sucks.
Chicks are hot!Copy !req
104. Yeah.Copy !req
105. Does anybody wanna
give me a neck rub?Copy !req
106. Ew! God, Nick!Copy !req
107. I can't believe you spent
the night on Daniel's floor!Copy !req
108. His carpet is,
like, infested!Copy !req
109. Better than sleeping
in my Maverick.Copy !req
110. Kinda.Copy !req
111. You gonna go home tonight?Copy !req
112. No. Not as long as
that fascist is there.Copy !req
113. Hey, Ken, can I stay
at your house tonight, man?Copy !req
114. No. My dad.Copy !req
115. He'll have
a conniption fit.Copy !req
116. Thanks a lot, man.Copy !req
117. You know, he doesn't even
let my grandma stay over.Copy !req
118. He's got issues.Copy !req
119. Whatever, man.
Thanks.Copy !req
120. I'd invite you over again,
Nick, but you blew it.Copy !req
121. You gotta remember
to flush the toilet!Copy !req
122. My mom almost had
a heart attack this morning.Copy !req
123. - Oh!
- He's just joking.Copy !req
124. I'm not joking!Copy !req
125. Can we not talk
about this now, please?Copy !req
126. I had to plunge‒Copy !req
127. Can we not talk
about this now, please?Copy !req
128. Definitely don't wanna stay
at your place.Copy !req
129. - No, no.
- I‒you know what?Copy !req
130. No.
No, thanks.Copy !req
131. Hey, Lindsay,
you think that maybeCopy !req
132. I could, uh, stay
at your place tonight?Copy !req
133. God, Nick, if it were
up to me... sure, but...Copy !req
134. Come on, my dad?
He's way worse than Ken's dad.Copy !req
135. Yeah. No, don't‒
No problem.Copy !req
136. Nice try, though, Nick.Copy !req
137. Shut up, man.Copy !req
138. What you
should have done isCopy !req
139. you should have pretended
to cry.Copy !req
140. You would have been inCopy !req
141. if you pretended to cry.Copy !req
142. Dad, give me
one good reasonCopy !req
143. why there can't be
a woman president.Copy !req
144. It's called
three irrational days per month.Copy !req
145. Now, I would have no issue
with the other 27,Copy !req
146. but... we're talking
about the atomic bomb here!Copy !req
147. Oh, Harold!Copy !req
148. Dad, that is so stupid!Copy !req
149. You know,
men get periods too.Copy !req
150. It has to do
with your body tides.Copy !req
151. My body
does not have a tide.Copy !req
152. Those religious people
have been bothering me all day.Copy !req
153. Can't a man
finish his supperCopy !req
154. without those religious types
bothering us?Copy !req
155. Hey, uh, Mr. Weir.Copy !req
156. Is Lindsay home?Copy !req
157. She's eating dinner.Copy !req
158. Oh, yeah.
I can tell.Copy !req
159. God, it smells
really great in there.Copy !req
160. Let me guess.Copy !req
161. Meat?Copy !req
162. Congratulations.Copy !req
163. Hey...
Nick.Copy !req
164. What are you doing?Copy !req
165. You know...
just came by to say hey.Copy !req
166. I‒I didn't realize
that you guysCopy !req
167. were gonna be eating
so late.Copy !req
168. You guys eat late.Copy !req
169. Oh! Hey, Nick.Copy !req
170. Hey, Mrs. Weir.
Boy, I was just saying...Copy !req
171. Your pot roast
smells amazing.Copy !req
172. Well, uh... would you like to
join us for dinner?Copy !req
173. We've got plenty of food.Copy !req
174. I mean, sure,Copy !req
175. if‒yeah!
That would rock!Copy !req
176. I haven't eaten dinner yet!Copy !req
177. Is it okay with you,
Mr. Weir?Copy !req
178. Oh. Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
179. It would... rock.Copy !req
180. Come on.Copy !req
181. Oh, wow.
This worked out well.Copy !req
182. Oh, my god!Copy !req
183. Mrs. Weir...Copy !req
184. This pot roast
is unbelievable!Copy !req
185. You're even a better cook
than my mom.Copy !req
186. Oh, I'm sure she does fine.Copy !req
187. You don't get to be
as tall as you areCopy !req
188. without somebody doing
something right nutritionally.Copy !req
189. Hey, uh, so...Copy !req
190. Mr. Weir...Copy !req
191. You sell sleeping bags,
right?Copy !req
192. Yeah.
Why, you going camping?Copy !req
193. No.Copy !req
194. I've just been spending
a lot of my timeCopy !req
195. sleeping
on people's floors...Copy !req
196. Lately, so, you know,Copy !req
197. I thought I should
probably get a good bag.Copy !req
198. Why on earth are you
sleeping on people's floors?Copy !req
199. My dad kicked me
out of the house.Copy !req
200. He didn't kick you out.Copy !req
201. He sold my drums.Copy !req
202. That doesn't really seem like
an invitation to stay.Copy !req
203. Now, wait a minute.Copy !req
204. He didn't just sell
your drums.Copy !req
205. I mean, the man
must have had a reason.Copy !req
206. Yeah. He had
a really stupid reason.Copy !req
207. He said... that my drums
were interferingCopy !req
208. with my schoolwork.Copy !req
209. I think my schoolwork
was interfering with my drums.Copy !req
210. How are you doing
at school?Copy !req
211. Terrible.Copy !req
212. Why don't you spend
the night over here?Copy !req
213. On the couch.Copy !req
214. What?Copy !req
215. Really?Copy !req
216. You mean it?Copy !req
217. Yeah.Copy !req
218. Oh, my gosh.Copy !req
219. My gosh. You guys
are the nicest people.Copy !req
220. Your whole family is...
so nice!Copy !req
221. Thank you so much!Copy !req
222. Oh! Oh, my gosh.Copy !req
223. Oh... it's like
you cooked this in heaven...Copy !req
224. Then brought it back
down here to your table.Copy !req
225. Oh, stop!Copy !req
226. Bill!Copy !req
227. Bill, I need to talk
to you for a second.Copy !req
228. It's about yesterday.Copy !req
229. That wasn't me.
That was Neal.Copy !req
230. He just said it was me.Copy !req
231. What?Copy !req
232. Uh‒noth‒what?Copy !req
233. Anyway...Copy !req
234. Sam and I had the greatest
conversation yesterday.Copy !req
235. It just...
lasted for hours!Copy !req
236. Look, I know I can
trust you with this,Copy !req
237. because we're lab partners.Copy !req
238. I like Sam.Copy !req
239. Me too.Copy !req
240. No, I like like Sam.Copy !req
241. Oh.Copy !req
242. Oh!Copy !req
243. I don't know. It's like
I never date nice guys.Copy !req
244. I should try it.
I mean, I think I deserve to.Copy !req
245. So do you think
he likes me?Copy !req
246. It's hard to tell.Copy !req
247. Well, do you think
you can find out for me?Copy !req
248. Okay.Copy !req
249. And tell him
to ask me to Mona's party.Copy !req
250. There he is.Copy !req
251. Thanks.Copy !req
252. Everyone
take their seats.Copy !req
253. We've got a busy class
ahead of us.Copy !req
254. Bill! Psst!
What just happened?Copy !req
255. Cindy wanted me
to find out if you li‒Copy !req
256. Gentlemen,
can we save the chitchatCopy !req
257. for the cafeteria?Copy !req
258. Today we will be having
a pop quiz.Copy !req
259. - Cindy‒
- Gentlemen!Copy !req
260. Yes... Mr. Hal?Copy !req
261. All right, Nick.
This is what you gotta do.Copy !req
262. Get her to stay up
watching TV with you, right,Copy !req
263. until her parents
go to sleep.Copy !req
264. Then you offer
to give a back rub.Copy !req
265. You do it right...
you're in.Copy !req
266. All right, look.Copy !req
267. Let's get this straight,
all right?Copy !req
268. Lindsay and I
are just friends, okay?Copy !req
269. And, anyways, I think
it's really cool of her parentsCopy !req
270. to let me stay at the house.
That's it, all right?Copy !req
271. Okay, man. Just friends.
I didn't realize.Copy !req
272. I mean, you know,
look‒Copy !req
273. if she came to me
in the middle of the night...Copy !req
274. And was, like, you know...
Nick, I love you...Copy !req
275. I wouldn't turn her away.Copy !req
276. Did he try to give you
a back rub?Copy !req
277. - No.
- Well, he will.Copy !req
278. He if tries to give you
a foot massage... run.Copy !req
279. Kim, what am I gonna do?Copy !req
280. It's just too weird
having him in my house!Copy !req
281. You have to kick him out,
Lindsay!Copy !req
282. No. I can't do that.Copy !req
283. Well...Copy !req
284. Then you're in
for a long night.Copy !req
285. I don't believe you.Copy !req
286. It's true.Copy !req
287. If this is some
kind of a joke...Copy !req
288. And you're trying
to set me up,Copy !req
289. I'll stop being your friend.
I'm not kidding.Copy !req
290. It's true!Copy !req
291. Sam, you gotta ask her
to that party!Copy !req
292. I don't‒I don't
even know Mona!Copy !req
293. What's the difference?
It's what Cindy wants!Copy !req
294. I think she wants
to be your girlfriend.Copy !req
295. Oh, man.Copy !req
296. What's the matter
with you?Copy !req
297. You wanted this for years!
Be a man! Go get her!Copy !req
298. - Yeah, I know, but‒
- But what?Copy !req
299. I'm scared!Copy !req
300. Well, they're not.Copy !req
301. I can hear what
they're saying right now.Copy !req
302. "Uh, hey, Cindy,Copy !req
303. you want to go with me
to Mona's party?"Copy !req
304. "Well, I was kind of hopingCopy !req
305. "that Sam was gonna
ask me,Copy !req
306. "but since he doesn't
seem interested,Copy !req
307. okay, Thor."Copy !req
308. Okay, okay, shut up.Copy !req
309. I'm gonna ask her.Copy !req
310. Hey, Cindy? Um...Copy !req
311. Can I talk to you
for a second?Copy !req
312. Hey, Sam.Copy !req
313. Yeah, sure.Copy !req
314. Hey, I'll see you guys later.Copy !req
315. - Okay, after French class?
- Yeah.Copy !req
316. All right.Copy !req
317. What's up?Copy !req
318. I was wondering...Copy !req
319. Do you want to come
to Mona's party with me?Copy !req
320. I'd love to.Copy !req
321. Really?Copy !req
322. Really.Copy !req
323. It's happening.Copy !req
324. They're smiling.Copy !req
325. What if he starts
going out with CindyCopy !req
326. and stops
hanging out with us?Copy !req
327. He won't.Copy !req
328. He'll get us in
with Cindy's friends.Copy !req
329. Like Vicki.Copy !req
330. Oh, man, I love her.Copy !req
331. Thought you said
they were pod people?Copy !req
332. "A cult," you said.Copy !req
333. They are.Copy !req
334. But that's one cult
I wouldn't mind joining.Copy !req
335. Bring on the pods.Copy !req
336. Uh, well,
I'll see you there.Copy !req
337. Okay.Copy !req
338. It's gonna be
a lot of fun.Copy !req
339. Yeah.Copy !req
340. Call me?Copy !req
341. Okay.Copy !req
342. See ya!Copy !req
343. It's on.Copy !req
344. Nick.Copy !req
345. It's quiet hour.Copy !req
346. Am I being too loud?
I'm sorry.Copy !req
347. Shouldn't you be
doing your homework?Copy !req
348. Me?Copy !req
349. Um, yeah,Copy !req
350. I mean, I was.Copy !req
351. You were?Copy !req
352. Then maybe you ought
to finish it.Copy !req
353. You're starting to sound
like my dad, Mr. Weir.Copy !req
354. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
355. Well, then,
your dad is a smart man.Copy !req
356. I'm a drummer, you know,Copy !req
357. so, I mean,
this is my homework.Copy !req
358. Oh, come on, Nick.Copy !req
359. This isn't homework.Copy !req
360. This is screwing around.Copy !req
361. Now, if you're
really a drummer,Copy !req
362. your homework would be
practicing your drums.Copy !req
363. Well, I'd like to be
practicing my drums, you know?Copy !req
364. But my dad
gave them away.Copy !req
365. Well, then you go out
and you find two sticksCopy !req
366. and you pound on a rock.Copy !req
367. That's what a guy who really
wanted to be a drummerCopy !req
368. would do if someone
took his drums from him.Copy !req
369. You know,
when I was in high school,Copy !req
370. I was working
in a department store,Copy !req
371. and learning
all about retail,Copy !req
372. and I still got
straight As.Copy !req
373. Now don't tell me
you can't find timeCopy !req
374. to do both things.Copy !req
375. You can't be that easy
on yourself, Nick.Copy !req
376. Push yourself.Copy !req
377. You're a smart kid.Copy !req
378. That's really, um...Copy !req
379. That's really cool
of you to say, Mr. Weir.Copy !req
380. It's true.Copy !req
381. Oh.Copy !req
382. By the way, that drummer
you're listening to?Copy !req
383. Yeah.Copy !req
384. He's terrible.Copy !req
385. That's Neil Peart.Copy !req
386. He's the greatest
drummer alive.Copy !req
387. Well, Neil Peart
couldn't drum his wayCopy !req
388. out of a paper bag.Copy !req
389. You want to hear drumming?Copy !req
390. All right.
Come on.Copy !req
391. I'll play you drumming.Copy !req
392. That guy is amazing.Copy !req
393. How did you hear
about him?Copy !req
394. Are you kidding?
These guys?Copy !req
395. I grew up with
Gene Krupa and Buddy Rich.Copy !req
396. Oh, god.Copy !req
397. How do they do that?Copy !req
398. They must hold
the sticks like this.Copy !req
399. I can't do that.Copy !req
400. I've never been able
to do that.Copy !req
401. You can go faster that way.Copy !req
402. Oh!Copy !req
403. God, how do you learn
to do that?Copy !req
404. I don't know.Copy !req
405. Maybe they took a lesson?Copy !req
406. Oh, my‒
That is insane.Copy !req
407. Nobody could do that.Copy !req
408. Maybe I should
take a lesson, huh?Copy !req
409. Hey, Lindsay,
can I ask you something?Copy !req
410. Hmm?Copy !req
411. Yeah.Copy !req
412. Cindy and I are going
to this party together,Copy !req
413. and I think it's sort of
like a date.Copy !req
414. Really?Copy !req
415. Are you nervous?Copy !req
416. Yes.Copy !req
417. She kissed me good-bye
today in school,Copy !req
418. and I didn't know
what to do.Copy !req
419. I just stood there.Copy !req
420. She kissed you?Copy !req
421. Yeah.Copy !req
422. What if she wants to kiss me
at the party for real?Copy !req
423. Yeah?Copy !req
424. Well, what if
I do it wrong?Copy !req
425. You can't kiss wrong.Copy !req
426. You'll know what to do
when it happens.Copy !req
427. It's just that...Copy !req
428. I've never had
a girlfriend before.Copy !req
429. Just be yourself, Sam.Copy !req
430. That's why she likes you.Copy !req
431. She's the lucky one.Copy !req
432. Be a gentlemanCopy !req
433. and don't be weird‒Copy !req
434. and don't smother her.Copy !req
435. Did Nick smother you?Copy !req
436. Nick was so into me,Copy !req
437. he made me want to move
to a different country.Copy !req
438. Oh, my god.Copy !req
439. I don't think Nick's
in love with you.Copy !req
440. I think he's in love
with Mom and Dad.Copy !req
441. Oh, my god.Copy !req
442. This is the best family
ever.Copy !req
443. Who is it?Copy !req
444. Hey, it's Nick.Copy !req
445. What do you want?Copy !req
446. D-d-don't open the door.Copy !req
447. I just‒Copy !req
448. I wanted to say
thank you.Copy !req
449. I think it's really coolCopy !req
450. that you and your parents
are letting me stay here.Copy !req
451. Yeah, it's okay.Copy !req
452. Go back to bed.Copy !req
453. I really appreciate it.Copy !req
454. You know?Copy !req
455. I need you
to know that.Copy !req
456. I know, Nick,
I know.Copy !req
457. Please just don't
wake up my dad.Copy !req
458. Okay, good night.Copy !req
459. Good night.Copy !req
460. Ow!Copy !req
461. Unh!Copy !req
462. Oh.Copy !req
463. Hey.Copy !req
464. I was, uh, working.Copy !req
465. Hey, um...Copy !req
466. Those are, uh,
nice pajamas.Copy !req
467. This is
a whole new world.Copy !req
468. I see double-dating
and triple-datingCopy !req
469. and cheerleaders
at your houseCopy !req
470. and me at your house.Copy !req
471. Congratulations, Sam.Copy !req
472. I heard about
your good fortune.Copy !req
473. Thanks.Copy !req
474. She's the one
that should be thankful.Copy !req
475. You're a catch.Copy !req
476. So, can you get Bill and I
into this party?Copy !req
477. I don't know. I haven't
really thought about it.Copy !req
478. Well, think about it.Copy !req
479. I don't‒I don't
want to go.Copy !req
480. Why not?Copy !req
481. Everyone wants to go
to a make-out party.Copy !req
482. It's a make-out party?Copy !req
483. Uh-huh.Copy !req
484. Nobody told me
it was a make-out party.Copy !req
485. Well, you better
get ready to make out.Copy !req
486. Otherwise she's gonna think
you don't like her.Copy !req
487. You're not gonna
French kiss Cindy,Copy !req
488. are you, Sam?Copy !req
489. French kissing
is gross.Copy !req
490. I wouldn't French kiss
in a million years.Copy !req
491. And why the hell not?Copy !req
492. Hello.Copy !req
493. Germs. Spit. Mucus.
Old bits of food.Copy !req
494. That's just
to name a couple.Copy !req
495. There's a lot of things
in there.Copy !req
496. I mean, why do you have to
use your tongue, anyway?Copy !req
497. Aren't you supposed to kiss
with your lips?Copy !req
498. Because
it's not a real kissCopy !req
499. unless you use
your tongue.Copy !req
500. Why?Copy !req
501. What's the point?Copy !req
502. I mean, what are you
supposed to do?Copy !req
503. Lick the inside
of her mouth?Copy !req
504. Are you supposed
to lick her teeth?Copy !req
505. Do you make your tongue
hard or soft?Copy !req
506. God, Bill.
Enough.Copy !req
507. What?
I want to know now.Copy !req
508. Since everyone
seems to thinkCopy !req
509. that French kissing
is so great.Copy !req
510. Okay, Bill.Copy !req
511. You put your tongue
against her tongue.Copy !req
512. What if she puts
her tongueCopy !req
513. too far into my mouth?
Wh‒Copy !req
514. What if I throw up?Copy !req
515. What if I throw up
all over her?Copy !req
516. What if I throw up
in her mouth?Copy !req
517. Ugh, shut up, Bill.
That's disgusting.Copy !req
518. Sorry.Copy !req
519. Well, I'm just telling you guys
I'm not doing it.Copy !req
520. Well, I am.Copy !req
521. As soon as possible.Copy !req
522. What do you say,
can we go?Copy !req
523. Well, if I take you,Copy !req
524. then I have to take
Gordon and Harris.Copy !req
525. Guys, I can't make it.Copy !req
526. I'm saving my virginityCopy !req
527. for the future
Mrs. Crisp.Copy !req
528. I have a date
with Judith.Copy !req
529. Every night's
a make-out party with us.Copy !req
530. Whoopie.Copy !req
531. All these make-out parties
start the same way‒Copy !req
532. Spin the Bottle.Copy !req
533. That's why this bottleCopy !req
534. is the key to
our make-out future.Copy !req
535. And the ability
to control the spinCopy !req
536. will determine whether we have
a good night or a great night.Copy !req
537. You can't control
a bottle, Neal.Copy !req
538. Oh, can't I?
Just watch.Copy !req
539. I've been practicing
all week.Copy !req
540. How'd you do that?Copy !req
541. It's all finger control.Copy !req
542. All you have to do
is train yourselfCopy !req
543. to make the bottle spin
two revolutions,Copy !req
544. then you add or subtract
a small percentage of torqueCopy !req
545. based on the position
of your target.Copy !req
546. That's amazing!Copy !req
547. All I can say is...
hello, ladies!Copy !req
548. What?Copy !req
549. What if...
they don't wanna kiss us?Copy !req
550. That's the genius part
of the game.Copy !req
551. They have to!Copy !req
552. I don't know.
I just... I justCopy !req
553. don't wanna see the expression
on their faceCopy !req
554. when they see that the bottle
lands on me.Copy !req
555. Bill, who cares
if they look disappointed?Copy !req
556. All I care about
is if they look disappointedCopy !req
557. after the kiss.Copy !req
558. But I know
they won't with me,Copy !req
559. because I plan on
delivering the goods.Copy !req
560. Do people French kissCopy !req
561. when they play
"Spin the Bottle"?Copy !req
562. Some do.Copy !req
563. Most don't.Copy !req
564. I do.Copy !req
565. I don't feel so good.Copy !req
566. Here we go.Copy !req
567. Bill, take off your
turtleneck.Copy !req
568. That's my look.Copy !req
569. I can't. I'm not wearing
anything underneath.Copy !req
570. Besides, I happen to look cool
in a turtleneck.Copy !req
571. So do I! Everyone looks cool
in turtlenecks.Copy !req
572. That's the point!
We can't both wear them.Copy !req
573. We'll look like
the Smothers Brothers.Copy !req
574. I'm not goin' in topless.Copy !req
575. Fine.
I'll take mine off.Copy !req
576. Nice dickey!Copy !req
577. Shut up.Copy !req
578. Guys, guys, okay...Copy !req
579. Be cool.Copy !req
580. You be cool.Copy !req
581. Just‒just don't
embarrass me, okay?Copy !req
582. What? Now that you're
going out with Cindy,Copy !req
583. you're ashamed of us?
Don't embarrass me.Copy !req
584. Fine. Be that way.
I don't care.Copy !req
585. Hey, guys.Copy !req
586. Hey, Sam.Copy !req
587. You, um...
you look really good.Copy !req
588. So do you, Cindy.Copy !req
589. You look beautiful.Copy !req
590. Thanks, Sam.
You're sweet.Copy !req
591. Come on.Copy !req
592. Are you going in?Copy !req
593. Don't rush me.Copy !req
594. You okay?Copy !req
595. You remember that sceneCopy !req
596. at the beginning
of "Animal House"Copy !req
597. where Flounder wants to
get into the fraternity,Copy !req
598. but they don't
think he's cool,Copy !req
599. so they put him
in that roomCopy !req
600. with the blind guy
and the indian guy?Copy !req
601. I feel like we're about to be
sent into that room.Copy !req
602. Blind guys are cool.Copy !req
603. They have supersonic
hearing.Copy !req
604. You're right.Copy !req
605. Let's mingle.Copy !req
606. So, did you kids
have a good day today?Copy !req
607. Uh...Copy !req
608. I don't know.
It was okay.Copy !req
609. I had, like,
the best day, Mrs. Weir.Copy !req
610. I took my first
drum lesson ever.Copy !req
611. Oh, wow.Copy !req
612. A drum lesson?Copy !req
613. Yeah.Copy !req
614. Hey,
how'd that go, Nick?Copy !req
615. It went so well, Mr. Weir.Copy !req
616. The drum teacher,
Terry Breeze,Copy !req
617. he's, like,
the coolest guy.Copy !req
618. He taught me how to hold
the drumsticks jazz style,Copy !req
619. like this.Copy !req
620. Paradiddle,
paradiddle, paradiddle.Copy !req
621. Good.Copy !req
622. Nick,
where did you get moneyCopy !req
623. to take drum lessons?Copy !req
624. Um, your dad.Copy !req
625. Yeah.
Nick's gonna work part-timeCopy !req
626. as a stock boy
at my storeCopy !req
627. to pay for his lessons.Copy !req
628. Lessons.
Good for you.Copy !req
629. All right. I'll get the ham,
and we'll eat.Copy !req
630. Let me help you, Mrs. Weir,
'cause hams can be heavy.Copy !req
631. Jeez.
Dad, that's really nice of you.Copy !req
632. What do you mean?Copy !req
633. I just mean that you're
playing records for NickCopy !req
634. and giving him
drum lessonsCopy !req
635. and letting him
stay at the house.Copy !req
636. That's...Copy !req
637. What's the deal?Copy !req
638. I'm trying to
help the kid out.Copy !req
639. What, you don't want me to?Copy !req
640. No, I'm just
wondering why,Copy !req
641. when Nick has a problem,Copy !req
642. you're nice and logical.Copy !req
643. But when I do,
you just yell at me.Copy !req
644. That's because
I expect more from you.Copy !req
645. Nick's father
is a hard man.Copy !req
646. My old man
was the same way.Copy !req
647. Yeah, I know
the feeling.Copy !req
648. Lindsay?Copy !req
649. Trust me, you don't.Copy !req
650. Now, anytime you wanna
dance with me to Gene Krupa,Copy !req
651. I'll be around.Copy !req
652. Oh, why does the bottle
keep landing on me?Copy !req
653. How come the bottle
never lands on me?Copy !req
654. Okay. Whose spin?Copy !req
655. That's three times.Copy !req
656. Now it's seven minutes
in heaven.Copy !req
657. Hey,
I'll give you 81/2.Copy !req
658. All right, Cindy.
Your spin.Copy !req
659. Oh, yes!Copy !req
660. Sam, I'm sorry.Copy !req
661. Yeah, sorry, Sam.Copy !req
662. Come on, Cindy.Copy !req
663. Yes?Copy !req
664. Hello.
I'm Nick's father.Copy !req
665. Oh.
Well, I'm Harold Weir.Copy !req
666. It's a pleasure
to meet you, sir.Copy !req
667. Come on in.Copy !req
668. Nick, it's time
to come home.Copy !req
669. Okay.Copy !req
670. Could I talk to you
in the kitchen for a minute?Copy !req
671. Sure.Copy !req
672. Look, I appreciate
your letting Nick stay here.Copy !req
673. Oh, it was our pleasure.Copy !req
674. That's quite a kid
you've got there.Copy !req
675. Yeah.Copy !req
676. So, uh...Copy !req
677. You gave his drums
away, huh?Copy !req
678. I guess they may be
pretty distracting.Copy !req
679. You have no idea.Copy !req
680. Eh, things
kids will get into.Copy !req
681. When I was a kid,Copy !req
682. I was always
bringing dogs home.Copy !req
683. Uh-huh.Copy !req
684. Well,Copy !req
685. teenagers will try
all sorts of things.Copy !req
686. Sometimes we just
gotta let 'em be kids.Copy !req
687. Harold,
how old is your son?Copy !req
688. 14.Copy !req
689. You call me
when he turns 16.Copy !req
690. Hello there.Copy !req
691. Great.
Two more guys.Copy !req
692. Oh, god.Copy !req
693. It's kind of
on me a little.Copy !req
694. - No, it's not.
- All right.Copy !req
695. Oh, of course.Copy !req
696. Thanks.Copy !req
697. - Whoo!
- Okay, Becky.Copy !req
698. Oh, my god.Copy !req
699. Just... quickly.
Come on.Copy !req
700. On the cheek.Copy !req
701. Oh! God!Copy !req
702. This is ridiculous.Copy !req
703. There is obviously something
wrong with that bottle.Copy !req
704. It keeps landing
on you, Bill.Copy !req
705. Switch with her.Copy !req
706. What?Copy !req
707. Okay.Copy !req
708. Okay. I'm spinning again.Copy !req
709. No!Copy !req
710. Hey, just kiss him
and get it over with.Copy !req
711. Okay, Vicki.Copy !req
712. Your turn.Copy !req
713. That's three.Copy !req
714. Vicki and Bill
are goin' inCopy !req
715. for seven minutes
in heaven.Copy !req
716. Vicki and BillCopy !req
717. Shut up, you guys!Copy !req
718. sittin' in a treeCopy !req
719. Come on. Let's just
get this over with.Copy !req
720. Close the door.Copy !req
721. Well, uh, thanks again.Copy !req
722. I hope he wasn't
too much trouble.Copy !req
723. Oh, no. He wasn't
any trouble at all.Copy !req
724. I'll be out in the car.Copy !req
725. Okay.Copy !req
726. Good night.Copy !req
727. You guys sure
you don't wanna adopt me?Copy !req
728. You sure
you're gonna be okay?Copy !req
729. Yeah.Copy !req
730. I mean, he came
looking for me, right?Copy !req
731. Didn't really think
that was gonna happen.Copy !req
732. Hey, stop by anytime.Copy !req
733. I will.Copy !req
734. I'll see you at school.Copy !req
735. Yeah.
I'll see you at school.Copy !req
736. Um, you know, I just...
thank you so much.Copy !req
737. - Good night.
- Good night.Copy !req
738. I'm really glad you could
make it tonight, Sam.Copy !req
739. Yeah, me too.Copy !req
740. Cindy, do you wanna...Copy !req
741. Go in one of these rooms
and talk or something?Copy !req
742. Okay.Copy !req
743. Okay.Copy !req
744. Don't even think
about it, okay?Copy !req
745. I wasn't thinking
about anything.Copy !req
746. Good.Copy !req
747. That fabric softener
smells good.Copy !req
748. Just stay away
from me, okay?Copy !req
749. You're not gonna touch me,Copy !req
750. and you're definitely
not gonna kiss me. Got it?Copy !req
751. You know‒
you know what?Copy !req
752. You're a jerk.Copy !req
753. Excuse me?Copy !req
754. You're a jerk.Copy !req
755. I was just trying
to make small talk.Copy !req
756. I couldn't be less happy
to be in here with you,Copy !req
757. so quit acting like
I'm hoping I can kiss you.Copy !req
758. It's actually the last thing
that I want to do right now.Copy !req
759. You know what, Bill?
I'm... I'm sorry.Copy !req
760. Okay? That wasn't
nice of me.Copy !req
761. Don't worry about it.Copy !req
762. You only have...Copy !req
763. Three minutes and 26‒
26 seconds left...Copy !req
764. In heaven.Copy !req
765. Well, here we are.Copy !req
766. Yeah.Copy !req
767. Here we are.Copy !req
768. Well, maybe we should
listen to some music.Copy !req
769. You‒uh‒Copy !req
770. can I ask you a question?Copy !req
771. What?Copy !req
772. What's it like
being pretty?Copy !req
773. I don't know.Copy !req
774. Like, this is the only way
that I've ever looked.Copy !req
775. I think people treat you nicer
when you're pretty.Copy !req
776. Why would you say that?Copy !req
777. 'Cause they're never
nice to me.Copy !req
778. Well...Copy !req
779. This is not true, Bill.Copy !req
780. Every time I look at you,Copy !req
781. you look like you're
having a pretty good time.Copy !req
782. - Really?
- Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
783. You're always laughing
or something.Copy !req
784. So what are you
laughing about?Copy !req
785. I watch movies
in my head.Copy !req
786. Ha, ha, ha!Copy !req
787. Heh, heh...Copy !req
788. Hey, Dad.Copy !req
789. That was really nice
what you did for Nick.Copy !req
790. I'm sorry you think I don't
treat you right sometimes.Copy !req
791. I didn't say that, Dad.Copy !req
792. I just...Copy !req
793. Wish you could talk to me
like you talk to Nick.Copy !req
794. You know what
the difference isCopy !req
795. between you and Nick?Copy !req
796. You're my daughter.Copy !req
797. And... every second
you're out of this house,Copy !req
798. every second
that I can't see youCopy !req
799. or know what you're doing,Copy !req
800. it's...Copy !req
801. It's absolute torture
for me.Copy !req
802. Dad, I can't stay inside
all the time.Copy !req
803. I know.Copy !req
804. Why not?Copy !req
805. Good night, honey.Copy !req
806. All right.
Good night, Dad.Copy !req
807. So all the cans
behind Steve MartinCopy !req
808. start springing holes,Copy !req
809. and Steve Martin says,Copy !req
810. "There's something wrong
with these cans."Copy !req
811. And he sees the guy shooting,
and he says,Copy !req
812. "That guy
hates these cans."Copy !req
813. It's really funny.Copy !req
814. It's very funny.
I gotta see that.Copy !req
815. Oh, what the hell.Copy !req
816. What? What?Copy !req
817. Don't ever tell anyone
about this.Copy !req
818. Um... Cindy,
can I kiss you?Copy !req
819. Of course.Copy !req
820. Hold on one second.Copy !req
821. Bill, your seven minutes
were up five minutes ago.Copy !req
822. Vicki,
your nightmare's over.Copy !req
823. Bill.
God, this really sucks.Copy !req
824. Bill. Bill.Copy !req
825. Hello, Bill.Copy !req