Flatbush Misdemeanors 1x3

1. Yo, Zay Zay.

2. Meet me in the bathroom, Zay.

3. Yo.

4. light music

5. What's something that says, like,

6. "I love you, but also,

7. I respect that you're my professional superior"?

8. Why would you get a gift for somebody

9. that makes more money than you?

10. Is she your girlfriend?

11. She's the vice principal where I teach,

12. but we have very good chemistry.

13. She not his girl.

14. - I know Zayna shit. - Uh-huh.

15. I was clapping her shit in the bathroom.

16. This kid Will in your class, you know where he live at?

17. Mr. Joseph, the Administration for Children's Services

18. has an open case on one of your students

19. whose safety may be at risk.

20. jazzy saxophone music playing

21. Keep ignoring me, Lester,

22. but you're gone tomorrow,

23. so stop playing and start packing!

24. What's going on?

25. Lester, I will call the police!

26. What's going on?

27. This doesn't concern you.

28. Well, we're concerned, so...

29. An eviction, okay?

30. Owes too much in rent.

31. Yo, Lester's lived here forever.

32. You can't evict him.

33. I keep seeing you.

34. Who the hell are you?

35. - Does he live with you? - Who, Kev? No, he's just—

36. 'Cause I'm charging rent for one person.

37. If there's two of you, I'm charging more.

38. It's—it's just me. Kevin is just visiting.

39. I see him all the time.

40. I visit a lot.

41. How 'bout I inspect your apartment?

42. - You can't do that. - No, no, hang on, hang on.

43. Can't I? - Hang on, hang on. No.

44. He's my trainer. He's just my trainer.

45. You train him in house slippers?

46. saxophone music continues

47. Yeah. I'm not the one training.

48. - Open this door!

49. Leave me alone, woman.

50. Lester ain't done nothing wrong.

51. - Leave him alone. Okay, I'm sorry.

52. Are you gonna pay me

53. the tens of thousands he owes in rent?

54. There has to be more to rent than money.

55. There's been a hole in his roof for a month.

56. Why you ain't fixed that yet?

57. That's something he's noticed while training me.

58. I'm evicting him in the morning,

59. and then I'm dealing with you two.

60. Say goodbye, Lester!

61. Goodbye, you white honky bitch!

62. Nobody trains in house slippers.

63. - He's unorthodox. Oh!

64. And I'm unconvinced.

65. Are they really thinking about people,

66. or they thinking about money?

67. It has to be the money.

68. Do you have a place to stay?

69. I've been trying for that housing lottery.

70. We'll see what happens.

71. Don't worry about it, young bloods.

72. When it's your time, it's your time, right?

73. Like playing at Minton's...

74. And fuckin' the same women as Dizzy...

75. To getting kicked out of my own goddamn apartment.

76. - Oh, let me help you. - Nah.

77. You're going to my room, though, so let me just—

78. No, God damn it.

79. Okay, well, I'm just gonna help you, so—

80. No, you honky bitch.

81. Jesus.

82. You know, when I moved in, he was the only one

83. who introduced himself.

84. This same shit happened to Jasmine grandma,

85. - but she stopped it. Call her.

86. Maybe she can come help.

87. It's too early for that.

88. What do you mean, it's early? It's for Lester.

89. That's worth it.

90. Plus, you can spend time with her.

91. Mm-mm...

92. Did—did you not get groceries yesterday?

93. Oh yeah, I started to, but then I didn't.

94. You finished two dozen eggs already?

95. I'm a growing boy. I don't know what you want.

96. Can you get stuff today? - You want me to do that?

97. Or you want me to call Jasmine and help Lester?

98. - 'Cause... - I mean, can you do both?

99. Yo, you ruined my podcast.

100. - What you want? - Damn. I can't get a hello?

101. Hello.

102. What you want?

103. You stay in a Myers building, right?

104. Yeah. Why?

105. They trying to evict my neighbor.

106. How you finesse it when they was getting on your grandma?

107. It's a lot.

108. Okay. I'm listening.

109. All right, so first, you—

110. Yo, it's kind of early for that; you okay?

111. When you file a complaint, they gonna ask...

112. I-I'm getting fired today.

113. What?

114. Jess wants me to meet

115. to discuss the Child Services case

116. after school, so I'm...

117. Just play dumb.

118. It has to be Zayna.

119. There's no one else it could be.

120. I already lied about going over to a kid's house,

121. so I'm just—I'm fucked.

122. Look, just don't lose your job,

123. 'cause if you lose your job,

124. then we both gonna be homeless,

125. and I can't support us on this roti check.

126. - Like... - Okay. Yeah.

127. I'll tell her that. That'll mean a lot to her.

128. - I'll get groceries

129. before I have to meet with her at 5:00.

130. All right. - Let me know about Lester.

131. Mm. Get a mob.

132. Do a protest. Do all that shit.

133. And then if you do all of that,

134. then maybe he'll be a'ight.

135. You follow?

136. Uh, yeah, I follow,

137. but I ain't really follow.

138. Can you—can you just come over here and help me, please?

139. What you think they gonna do?

140. I don't know.

141. When we got caught hoppin' the train,

142. what your uncle do to you?

143. Man, he said, "Stop getting caught."

144. You know what my people did to me, bro?

145. Uncooked rice, my nigga. Straight out the box type shit.

146. Your mates are inside studying for Harvard.

147. You, you are jumping trains.

148. Keep your arms up! Spider-Man.

149. That's your daughter.

150. I was there for, like, two hours.

151. Wait, so...

152. do they keep extra rice for punishing,

153. or y'all eat and punish from the same box?

154. What?

155. saxophone playing jazzy music

156. Evictions must stop!

157. No landlords, no cops!

158. Evictions must stop!

159. - No landlords, no cops!

160. - Evictions must stop! Here we go.

161. No landlords, no cops!

162. Say what?

163. Evictions must stop!

164. Okay.

165. No landlords, no cops!

166. I just can't believe you got

167. all these people out here so fast.

168. No landlords, no cops!

169. Hey, you should make this your thing,

170. 'cause if you could do this in a day,

171. - you could fuckin', like... - I could what?

172. Make a living off of other people's pain?

173. Not like Al Sharpton, but you could do it.

174. You good at making people care.

175. Nah, yo, this not even some shit

176. I would want to make bread off of.

177. I feel like this is the type of shit

178. that everybody's supposed to care about.

179. You could do the same thing.

180. You just don't know how to talk to people.

181. You not wrong. I mean...

182. Evictions must stop!

183. No landlords, no cops! Evictions must stop!

184. , Hey yo, thanks for picking that up.

185. Yeah, no worries. I got extra eggs.

186. What's going on?

187. Shit, Shirley Chisholm over here, man.

188. I'm weak. Not Shirley.

189. Nah, Jas really went crazy.

190. Lester gonna have to come down here and thank her,

191. 'cause she given him the only chance he got.

192. - This is crazy, Jasmine. Thanks.

193. You know, we just out here trying to occupy

194. and put pressure on these shady-ass landlords.

195. I mean, the Myers, they own

196. most of the buildings in Flatbush,

197. and they stay trying to kick out people

198. who been living here their whole lives.

199. I'm not gonna lie.

200. It's nice to see you showing up

201. to support the community.

202. I—I actually have to change and go back to school.

203. So I can't— I can't stay, but this is—

204. this is awesome, really. I...

205. Sorry, like, this is really— really cool that—

206. sorry, I don't wanna—

207. this is really great.

208. Thank you. I'm definitely...

209. No landlords, no cops.

210. Evictions must stop.

211. You didn't get no Doritos?

212. What—yo, why you friends with that white boy?

213. I don't know.

214. That's the homie.

215. I need a place to stay. I'm broke. It makes sense.

216. I know, but that shit is just mad weird.

217. Why? 'Cause he's white?

218. Yeah.

219. Like, dead ass, I don't even be feeling comfortable

220. being naked in your crib.

221. I could just feel his white aura just hovering.

222. The fuck is a white aura? What are you talking about?

223. I don't know. It's a feeling.

224. You don't feel it?

225. No.

226. That's 'cause you probably done fucked

227. so many white girls, you don't even notice no more.

228. I mean... yeah.

229. Uncle Drew!

230. Can you get us some Sprite?

231. - Yes.

232. - Uh... - What's this?

233. Good for you. That's what it is.

234. - Ew! - I wanted Sprite.

235. Your parents know you over here?

236. Yes.

237. Yeah. - I don't think they do.

238. - The fuck? Tastes like poop.

239. - It smell like poop. Close the lid.

240. Yeah. That shit is a no-go.

241. - Ugh. - God, bro.

242. No, he didn't fuck

243. - What? - Yo!

244. I wish I could get a new iPhone!

245. Where that homework at?

246. We just got home!

247. I like doing my work on Friday.

248. Then, like, you got the rest of the weekend

249. to do whatever.

250. That shit be lit.

251. See, this why I love you,

252. 'cause now I could just copy yours on Monday.

253. - Zay, I'll be right back. - All right.

254. Bro...

255. your uncle, like, he be keeping weed in the crib?

256. Housing is a human right!

257. - Fight, fight, fight! - saxophone playing

258. Housing is a human right! Fight, fight, fight!

259. Yo—oh. Sup bro-sorry.

260. What's going on, guys? Sorry—sorry!

261. Tight squeeze. Awesome.

262. You out?

263. Yeah, I got that Jess meeting. I'll be back.

264. Wait, so you not gonna help your neighbor?

265. I would. I—I just have to go to work.

266. What?

267. Isn't this your building, though?

268. Like, does this not affect you too?

269. I mean, it does. It—I just have to do my job.

270. I'll—I'll come back. I—I told Kev to call you.

271. So you help by getting other people to do the work?

272. Okay.

273. That's— that's not what I said.

274. Okay.

275. Well, I do have to go to work, but it was really—

276. it was nice seeing you, Jasmine, okay?

277. Later, Kev.

278. Yo, she just be talking, man.

279. How you feeling?

280. Um, I mean, I'm stressed, but I'll just face Jess,

281. and it'll—it'll be done.

282. They're not gonna fire you, bro.

283. Yo, um, what time you think you're coming back tonight?

284. I don't know. Why?

285. I need the apartment.

286. Okay. Yeah, I can—

287. I can find somewhere to crash.

288. I don't really know where, but—

289. - Cool. - Wait, wait.

290. If you—if you use my— if you use my bed,

291. can you just not— whatever, it's fine.

292. - Have fun. - All right. Appreciate you.

293. - Yeah, yeah.

294. See, it's that white privilege.

295. Nigga, you gentrifying too.

296. How? I'm sleeping on a couch.

297. Yeah, but you be at Drip

298. ordering $8 oat milk mochas and shit.

299. Fight, fight, fight!

300. - Drip is Black-owned. - So?

301. Black capitalism is still capitalism.

302. Housing is a human right!

303. - Fight, fight, fight! - You be on Twitter too much.

304. Okay, so this Child Services stuff...

305. Yeah.

306. Right.

307. Okay.

308. Look, I am really sorry.

309. I should mention it was about Dami.

310. She called ACS on her own parents.

311. Dami!

312. Dami!

313. - It was about Dami. Yeah. Yeah.

314. - Who did you think? - I don't know.

315. I mean, you never know who things are about, right?

316. - You okay? You good? - I'm just taking it all in.

317. I'm taking in what you said, which was Dami.

318. This is about Dami.

319. So we're here to talk about her.

320. - So let's get into it.

321. Is she okay? Is she o—is she doing okay?

322. Yeah, yeah, she's okay.

323. She reported them over some rice torture,

324. but ACS found no evidence there's anything wrong at home.

325. Mm, I've never met her parents.

326. Can I get your advice on the Dami stuff?

327. Just because, you know, I really don't—

328. Yeah, I think that—

329. Oh, I'm sorry, I was just gonna launch

330. into initial advice that might not be helpful.

331. Yeah, sure. Take a broad swing at it.

332. I was just gonna say that ACS cleared it, so there's

333. - no real threat, right?

334. Like, we'll just monitor her and...

335. Hello?

336. Oh, God.

337. Wait. Just now?

338. Or—I just saw him this morning.

339. No. Okay. Yeah.

340. I'll come there.

341. Oliver died.

342. God damn it.

343. Oh, I'm sorry, Jess.

344. Was—was he family or a friend or a...

345. No, Oliver the chicken.

346. He's a chicken in our community farm program.

347. Where—where do we have a farm?

348. Does no one even realize that we—the-the-the-the-

349. the farm that I set up in the back of the schoolyard

350. this—this year, literally this year?

351. That's cool. I haven't gotten a chance

352. to see it yet, but I'll— I should check it out.

353. Hmm. Okay.

354. I gotta go collect Oliver

355. before his corpse traumatizes the kids.

356. I'll be right back.

357. Okay. I—I wouldn't worry.

358. I don't think they knew about the farm either.

359. Oh, man.

360. Bro, your uncle is cool as hell.

361. I could never do this shit in my spot.

362. He a'ight.

363. Bro, wait.

364. You be making those?

365. I thought you was buying 'em on the ave and reselling 'em.

366. Nah, I made all of these.

367. How much you make selling 'em?

368. It depends.

369. One bag of beads costs, like, $10,

370. and the string is, like, $2.

371. So I make, like, what, $80 in profit.

372. But all the bags don't be having

373. the same amount of beads.

374. Some bitches be like,

375. "Oh, you could stretch it out," but, like, no.

376. You shortchange your customer, you shortchange yourself.

377. As far as my YTD go, I make, like, $800 in profits.

378. - $800? - Yes.

379. But you got to factor in your COGS—

380. cost of goods sold, materials, plus my labor,

381. because you got to pay yourself.

382. You know, I'm my own manufacturer and distributor.

383. It's simple.

384. Bro, where did you learn all that?

385. It's the fucking businesswoman for me.

386. - Drew taught me.

387. - Come here. Look.

388. What's this?

389. Uh—

390. Bro. Nah.

391. - What?

392. Girl, let me work for you.

393. What the fuck? You rich. Like, bro.

394. Nah.

395. Let me work for you, like dead ass.

396. A'ight. Bet.

397. - Bag these. - Money.

398. - Uh. - Money.

399. Those birth control?

400. Where you get that?

401. I know some people, bro.

402. I can get you some. You want some?

403. Nah, my mom would kill me if she thought I was fuckin'.

404. When the last time you talk to her?

405. We talk every week. Why?

406. I don't know, like, if I would talk to mine that much.

407. Like, if I'm actually on my own, bro,

408. like, maybe my dad, but my moms...

409. she be OD, like straight tryin' shit.

410. - Like, bro...

411. She's really the reason why I called ACS.

412. Like, I can't live with her.

413. I can't do that shit.

414. - upbeat music playing - Hey, come through.

415. Hey, with the spin, hey!

416. - Ahh! With the spin, hey!

417. Don't fuck with me.

418. Hey, hey.

419. - It's lit. - Yo.

420. - Tryin' to go upstairs? - Right now?

421. Yeah.

422. I'm having fun right here.

423. - Come on. Stop.

424. That is not even your bag.

425. You don't know what's in my bag.

426. - Stop it. - Yeah, I do.

427. You're broke.

428. You broke too.

429. Yeah, but you look broke.

430. At least you don't try to impress niggas.

431. Like, you know, you don't care how you dress at all.

432. Like, most niggas, they try to front,

433. try to borrow they homies' clothes and shit,

434. but you don't even be trying to pretend.

435. That's what I like about you.

436. - Oh, fuck. Wait.

437. Fuck.

438. I gotta cook dinner for my grandma

439. and my little brother.

440. I'm out.

441. You can't Grubhub it?

442. You gonna pay for it?

443. - Exactly.

444. My grandma is going gambling with her church next weekend.

445. So pull up then.

446. Okay.

447. Candy Bleakz's "Won La" playing

448. - singing in Yoruba

449. I just don't know why

450. I'm doing all this stupid grunt work sometimes.

451. It's like I'm climbing a ladder to nowhere

452. and every other administrator is old and jaded

453. and visibly sad.

454. - The administrators? Yeah, well, not you.

455. You're younger and jaded and visibly sad.

456. It's not that visible.

457. You know, half the time,

458. Principal Douglass isn't even here.

459. I'm sure he's got a second job.

460. Like, I think I saw him working at Target,

461. and we're all just playing an unwinnable, rigged game.

462. It's like Wall Street.

463. Some people win on Wall Street.

464. Right, but we would lose—

465. It's all unwinnable, okay?

466. I-I'm-I'm covering for the dance coach

467. and the school play, and I wanted

468. to change the curriculum and make some difference,

469. but I can't touch that.

470. No, we can't even teach them Lincoln was gay.

471. You can say that.

472. I read a Wikipedia article about that.

473. When I said it to the principal,

474. he just said, "Ey-yo."

475. So I just can't change the system.

476. No, you can't.

477. You know, some of the kids

478. are going through some real shit.

479. And when I—I'm stuck

480. behind all this red tape where nothing changes.

481. Who cares about all the red tape?

482. We have to care. It's our job.

483. No, I mean, if you wanna help the kids,

484. just help; that's fine.

485. Like, forget your title.

486. Like—like on top of teaching them science,

487. like, frankly, as well as anybody, it—

488. it's also just reaching out to the kids

489. who, like, want to be reached.

490. Like, there's all these bureaucratic rules

491. or whatever, and they're just, like, nonsense.

492. You just, like, have to tend to your little corner.

493. I'm sorry for getting so personal.

494. - It's all just a lot. - Sorry.

495. Maybe this is weird, but I have, like,

496. a benzo, if you want.

497. It's like an anti-anxiety pill, if you would like one.

498. I can keep saying comforting words, but I just—

499. I know myself, and I feel myself running out of them.

500. - I didn't know you took those. - Not often.

501. But when—when you said, "It's all just a lot,"

502. when I've said that,

503. that's been the time I've taken them.

504. - I'll take one if you do. - You want me to take one too?

505. Yeah.

506. Um... okay.

507. So I'll take the other...

508. Yo. - What you doing?

509. Bro, he don't care.

510. Magna Carda's "Propaganda" playing

511. What's shakin' and bakin'?

512. indistinct rapping

513. Who rolled this?

514. Let me show y'all how to do this, man.

515. I can't be wasting gas like that.

516. You take your tobacco leaf

517. and the marijuana...

518. pack in as much as if you was on a picnic to the beach.

519. I ain't lyin'

520. All right, look.

521. Hold it right there. Wait.

522. Right there.

523. - Bro...

524. I'm sorry, bro, this is all I could get, man.

525. It's fresh groceries, bro. We just got them today.

526. Son, what happened to the roti?

527. You just cleaned out your fridge?

528. Look, man, that Tupperware is really sturdy.

529. It's brand-new. You can keep it.

530. It's supposed to last for, like, five years.

531. Yo, I'll really slap the shit out you,

532. you bring this to my crib again.

533. You lucky my niece in here studyin'.

534. Appreciate it.

535. Thank you.

536. Oh, shit. Here.

537. Take this out. Recycle it.

538. All right.

539. Where was we at? Let's go.

540. - Tuck and roll. Tuck and roll.

541. You already know. Niecey-poo know.

542. We halfway there to a perfectly rolled blunt.

543. Voilà.

544. Mm. - Boom.

545. - The fuck?

546. Somebody don't want us to smoke.

547. That's gonna be a good one.

548. Oh. Y'all, get in the room.

549. - Get in the room, y'all. - Shit.

550. Go get in the room. - Oh, shit.

551. You good?

552. No, I'm not good.

553. Where's my daughter? Dami?

554. Calm down. Let me grab her. Hold on. Let me—

555. She was supposed to be home from school.

556. Dami, make yourself present.

557. Dami?

558. She was supposed to go to school, then go home.

559. My wife is going to kill all of us

560. if I don't collect my daughter.

561. Please, where is she?

562. Dami, what are you doing here?

563. Eh?

564. Didn't we tell you

565. to come home after school?

566. Dami, are you deaf?

567. You turn my baby into a crackhead?

568. - Damilola Oluwafabiola!

569. What the fuck?

570. You called Child Services on me?

571. - Relax. - Huh? Me!

572. I will show you today

573. that I'm your mother.

574. - In fact... - Ijeoma.

575. You ain't gotta do all of that.

576. - Ijeoma. - Eh, eh, eh, eh!

577. You, you, you, you. You, you, you, you are wicked.

578. You smoke weed around my child, huh?

579. - I— - Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh!

580. Don't even try it, devil.

581. Don't try it.

582. Come here.

583. You are smoking?

584. When I was your age, I had my third business.

585. You, you're smoking weed.

586. Let's go.

587. Is Greta Ton-berg smoking weed?

588. Mm? Mm?

589. - It's Thunberg, Mama. - Don't talk back.

590. Shut up there.

591. Eh-eh, let's go.

592. - Let's go. Let's go. Come on.

593. Before I slap you here.

594. Let's go.

595. Brother, the church has moved to Rogers.

596. You should visit sometime.

597. This is all your fault.

598. - You spoil her. Let's go.

599. It's just another day

600. Until the sun sets

601. Then I lose control

602. I'm just tryin' to soothe my soul

603. That pill really helped.

604. That's probably why I go hard

605. Live hard

606. Just—sorry, there's no strap.

607. I can never live no lie

608. - In case we're dying

609. - Mm. Um... - It's okay.

610. - You seem tired. - No, no, no, I'm awake.

611. I'm super awake. I'm very awake.

612. It's okay. I was also up at 6:00.

613. No, no—would you have, like, a Red Bull?

614. We could both have Red Bulls.

615. Uh...

616. Let's just—can we just talk?

617. Is that okay?

618. - Yes. - You awake enough?

619. Yeah, that's cool.

620. What, um...

621. music continues quietly

622. What's up?

623. Uh, the Dami stuff is just really stressing me out.

624. - Wait. Which stuff? - The Dami stuff.

625. Mm. Yeah.

626. I mean, we'll watch her and keep her out of rice, hmm?

627. Which doesn't even sound like it would hurt, honestly.

628. Well, the rice is uncooked.

629. But they said she's not in real danger, and...

630. I fucked up.

631. What do you mean?

632. Well, Dami told me, when we were at the hospital,

633. after, you know, she and Zayna had that fight,

634. that she needed birth control,

635. and I know how her parents are,

636. so I—I took her to get some, and...

637. - Totally. - I'm just worried

638. that what if someone saw and— and if they did, then, I mean,

639. I—I could lose my job if—if anyone...

640. Found out.

641. I'm sorry. I actually am feeling tired.

642. - I don't wanna— - It's okay.

643. I know you said stuff there.

644. Um, it was about Dami.

645. So...

646. I'm just dead. I'm sorry. I'll head out.

647. I don't want to, like, be in your space.

648. Everything true, everything true

649. Ask about me, I said everything true

650. So from here on out, it's no more apologies

651. Lady called security.

652. It's some bullshit.

653. I'm out of here in the morning.

654. playing jazzy music

655. jazzy saxophone music

656. I'm sorry that, you know...

657. Yeah. I mean...

658. How'd your night go?

659. Hmm? It was—it was fine.

660. I hung out with Jess. It was...

661. Did Jasmine stay over?

662. No.

663. Oh, we out of eggs.

664. Fuck, man.

665. jazzy music