1. - So, you're sure you'll be all right?
- What, Basil?Copy !req
2. - You'll be all right?
- Will you get me my bed jacket?Copy !req
3. Bed jacket.Copy !req
4. In the drawer, the blue one, in the drawer!Copy !req
5. Now, you won't forget
the fire drill tomorrow?Copy !req
6. I won't, dear. I can cope, you know.Copy !req
7. This one?Copy !req
8. - That's not blue.
- It's got blue things on it.Copy !req
9. They're flowers, and I didn't ask
for the one with flowers, did I?Copy !req
10. No, you didn't.Copy !req
11. I only picked that one up to annoy you.
What have you got all this stuff for?Copy !req
12. - What?
- You're only here three days,Copy !req
13. you gonna play charades every night?Copy !req
14. - This one?
- Is it blue?Copy !req
15. Bluish, I suppose.Copy !req
16. Now you will remember to collect
the stuff from Thomas's, won't you?Copy !req
17. Yes, I will.Copy !req
18. And I forgot to scrape the mould off
the cheddar this morning, so remind Chef.Copy !req
19. Right.Copy !req
20. And try to find time to
get the moose's head up.Copy !req
21. Oh.Copy !req
22. - It's been sitting there for two weeks, Basil.
- Yes, yes, yes.Copy !req
23. I don't know why you bought it.Copy !req
24. It will lend the lobby a certain ambience, Sybil.
It has a touch of style about it.Copy !req
25. - It's got a touch of mange about it.
- That is not so.Copy !req
26. It's got things living in it, Basil.
It's nasty.Copy !req
27. - It is not nasty, it is superb.
- I'm not going to argue with you, Basil,Copy !req
28. just get it up out of the way.
I don't want to snag any more cardies on it.Copy !req
29. And will you get me my phone book, please?Copy !req
30. Like I don't have enough to do.
I mean, I'm on my own,Copy !req
31. - the Germans are arriving tomorrow...
- Not till lunchtime.Copy !req
32. - You could do it in the morning.
- I've got the fire drill in the morning.Copy !req
33. That only takes ten minutes. In the bag!Copy !req
34. I thought slavery had been abolished.Copy !req
35. Don't you ever think about
anybody but yourself?Copy !req
36. - In the bag!
- Oh, in the bag. Let me do it.Copy !req
37. You just lie there with your feet upCopy !req
38. and I'll carry you up another
hundredweight of lime creams.Copy !req
39. I am actually about to
undergo an operation, Basil.Copy !req
40. Oh, yes, how is the old toenail?Copy !req
41. Still growing in, still burrowing
its way down to the bone,Copy !req
42. still macheteing its way through the nerve?
Nasty old nail.Copy !req
43. It's still hurting,
if that's what you mean, Basil.Copy !req
44. It'll be out in the
morning, poor little devil.Copy !req
45. I wonder if they'd mount it for me,
just for old times' sake.Copy !req
46. I'm sure it's worth asking.Copy !req
47. You could hang it on the
wall, next to the moose.Copy !req
48. - They'd go well together.
- Ha, ha, ha.Copy !req
49. There you are. Come along, out you go.Copy !req
50. Oh, were you talking to me?
I'm sorry, I thought there was a dog in here.Copy !req
51. - No, no dogs in here.
- I wouldn't bet on it.Copy !req
52. Not allowed.
Now come along, you're in the way.Copy !req
53. - Fawlty's the name. Mr Fawlty.
- Let's sit you up a bit.Copy !req
54. - Thank you, Sister.
- Now pop that under your tongue.Copy !req
55. - You still here?
- Apparently.Copy !req
56. - The doctor's coming.
- My God! A doctor, here in the hospital?Copy !req
57. - Whatever can we do?
- You can leave.Copy !req
58. Why do they call you "sister"?
Is it a term of endearment?Copy !req
59. Now look, Mr Fawlty,
I'm not going to ask you again!Copy !req
60. Presumably you wouldn't mind if I said goodbye
to my wife? She is under the knife tomorrow.Copy !req
61. - It's an ingrowing toenail.
- You know, do you? That'll help.Copy !req
62. Just take care, and if you think
of any more things for me to do,Copy !req
63. don't hesitate to call.Copy !req
64. - Finished?
- Just. Thank you so much.Copy !req
65. - Not at all.
- Ingrowing toenail. Right foot.Copy !req
66. You'll find it on the end of the leg.
Bye, darling.Copy !req
67. - Mr Fawlty?
- Yes?Copy !req
68. Dr Fin.Copy !req
69. - How do you do, Doctor?
- You've just seen your wife?Copy !req
70. Just said goodbye, well, au re voir.Copy !req
71. Yes, it is a very simple operation,
but it will be quite painful afterwards.Copy !req
72. Will it? Oh, dear.Copy !req
73. Just for a time, but don't worry.Copy !req
74. I'll try not to.Copy !req
75. - Quite painful?
- Yes.Copy !req
76. - Evening, Major.
- Evening, Fawlty. Hampshire won.Copy !req
77. Did it? Oh, isn't that good? How splendid.Copy !req
78. Oh, Fawlty, how's, erm...Copy !req
79. - My wife?
- That's it.Copy !req
80. Fine. Absolutely fine.
They're taking it out tomorrow morning.Copy !req
81. Is she? Good.Copy !req
82. Not her, the nail.
They won't have operated till tomorrow.Copy !req
83. - What?
- The nail. They're taking it out tomorrow.Copy !req
84. How did she get a nail in her?Copy !req
85. I told you, she's having her toenail out.Copy !req
86. - What, just the one of them?
- It's an ingrowing one.Copy !req
87. - If it's causing you pain, you have it out.
- Exactly.Copy !req
88. So I'm on my own now,
start running this place properly.Copy !req
89. - So you're on your own?
- Apparently, yes.Copy !req
90. - She won't be away for long, will she?
- No, no, no.Copy !req
91. - Not unless there's a serious mistake.
- You've always got Elsie to help you.Copy !req
92. - Who?
- Elsie.Copy !req
93. She left a couple of years ago, Major.Copy !req
94. - Funny, I thought I saw her yesterday.
- I don't think so. She's in Canada.Copy !req
95. - Strange creatures, women.
- Well, can't stand around all day...Copy !req
96. I knew one once.
Striking looking girl, tall, you know.Copy !req
97. - Father was a banker.
- Really?Copy !req
98. - Don't remember the name of the bank.
- Never mind.Copy !req
99. I must have been keen on her
because I took her to see India!Copy !req
100. - India?
- At the Oval! Fine match.Copy !req
101. A marvellous finish.
Now, Surrey had to get 33 in half an hour,Copy !req
102. and she went off to powder
her hands or something.Copy !req
103. - Women... Never came back.
- What a shame.Copy !req
104. The strange thing was that
throughout the morning,Copy !req
105. she kept referring to
the Indians as "niggers".Copy !req
106. No, no, I said,
niggers are the West Indians,Copy !req
107. these people are wogs!Copy !req
108. No, no, she said,
all cricketers are niggers.Copy !req
109. They do get awfully confused.
They're not thinkers. I see it with Sybil every day.Copy !req
110. I wish I could remember her name,
she's still got my wallet.Copy !req
111. As I was saying,
no capacity for logical thought.Copy !req
112. - Who?
- Women.Copy !req
113. Oh, yes. I thought you meant Indians.Copy !req
114. No, wasn't it Oscar Wilde who said,
"They have minds like Swiss cheese"?Copy !req
115. What do you mean? Hard?Copy !req
116. - No, full of holes.
- Really?Copy !req
117. - Indians?
- No, women!Copy !req
118. Oh.Copy !req
119. - Can we help you?
- Hello.Copy !req
120. You see? Three years at college,
she doesn't know the time of day.Copy !req
121. - About two minutes to six.
- What are you looking for?Copy !req
122. - My German book.
- We've got some Germans arriving tomorrow,Copy !req
123. so Polly's brushing up another one
of her languages.Copy !req
124. - Germans? Coming here?
- Just for a couple of days, Major.Copy !req
125. - I don't care much for Germans.
- I know what you mean, but...Copy !req
126. Bunch of Krauts, that's what they are,
all of them. Bad eggs!Copy !req
127. Forgive and forget, Major.
God knows how, the bastards, still...Copy !req
128. I'd better put the moose up.Copy !req
129. Well, you've got to love them,
I suppose, haven't you?Copy !req
130. - Germans?
- No, women!Copy !req
131. I hate Germans, love women.Copy !req
132. What about German women?Copy !req
133. Good card players,
but I wouldn't give them the time of day.Copy !req
134. Found it.Copy !req
135. I don't know what you're
bothering with that for.Copy !req
136. - They said some of them didn't speak English.
- Well, that's their problem, isn't it?Copy !req
137. I don't know why she's
got to complicate everything.Copy !req
138. Got her cardy, did you?Copy !req
139. - By Jove! Nearly 6:00, Fawlty.
- Is it?Copy !req
140. Yes, well, when you're ready,
I might have a fruit juice or something.Copy !req
141. - I'll open up the moment I've done this, Major.
- No immediate hurry.Copy !req
142. Drunken old sod.Copy !req
143. Polly!Copy !req
144. Polly!Copy !req
145. Manuel! Oh.Copy !req
146. Yes, Fawlty Towers, hello?Copy !req
147. I was just doing it, you stupid woman.Copy !req
148. I just put it down to come here to be
reminded by you to do what I'm already...Copy !req
149. What's the point of reminding me
to do what I'm already doing?Copy !req
150. What is the bloody point?
I'm doing it, aren't I?Copy !req
151. Yes, I picked it up.Copy !req
152. No, I haven't had a chance yet.
I've been at it solidly ever since I got back.Copy !req
153. Yes, I will.Copy !req
154. No, I haven't yet, but I will, yes. I know it is,
I'll try and get it cleared up. Anything else?Copy !req
155. I mean, would you like the hotel moved
a bit to the left, or...Copy !req
156. Enjoy the operation, dear,
let's hope nothing goes wrong.Copy !req
157. I wish it was an ingrowing tongue.Copy !req
158. - Yes?
- It's the Admirable Crichton. Well?Copy !req
159. - You called, sir?
- Last week. But not to worry.Copy !req
160. - Qué?
- Oh, Buddha. Look, go and get me a hammer.Copy !req
161. - Cómo?
- Hammer.Copy !req
162. "Ham-a". Oh, ham-a sandwich!Copy !req
163. Do I have to go through this every time?
Look, a hammer!Copy !req
164. - My hamster?
- No, not your hamster.Copy !req
165. How can I knock a nail in
with your hamster? Well, I could try.Copy !req
166. No, it doesn't matter, all right,
I'll get it, you come here and tidy.Copy !req
167. - You know, tidy?
- Oh, tidy, sí.Copy !req
168. I get hhhammer and hhhit you on the
hhhead with it hhhard.Copy !req
169. Hammer. Hammer. How are you, sir?Copy !req
170. You see, I speak English well.
I learn it from a book.Copy !req
171. Hello. I am English.Copy !req
172. Hello.Copy !req
173. How are you, sir?Copy !req
174. I can speak English.Copy !req
175. Oh, hello, Major. How are you today?Copy !req
176. I'm fine, thank you.Copy !req
177. Is a beautiful day today.Copy !req
178. Is it? Yes, yes, I suppose it is.Copy !req
179. Yes, I can speak English.Copy !req
180. - I learn it from a book.
- Did you?Copy !req
181. - Did you really? There you are, Fawlty.
- Yes, I'm just going to open up, Major.Copy !req
182. Oh, fine. I say, that's a remarkable animal
you have there, Fawlty.Copy !req
183. - Where did you get it?
- Samson's, in the town.Copy !req
184. Really? Was it expensive?Copy !req
185. - £12, I think.
- Good Lord.Copy !req
186. Japanese, was it?Copy !req
187. Canadian, I think, Major.Copy !req
188. I didn't know the Canadians were
as clever as that. My God.Copy !req
189. He's started early.Copy !req
190. - Polly, what's that smell?
- Flowers.Copy !req
191. - I just got them from the garden.
- What are you stinking the place out for?Copy !req
192. - What's happened to the plastic ones?
- Being ironed.Copy !req
193. Will you answer that please?
I'm trying to put this up.Copy !req
194. Fawlty Towers. Oh, hello, Mrs Fawlty.Copy !req
195. I'm doing it! I'm doing it now!
Tell her I'm doing it now!Copy !req
196. He says he's doing it now. How's the nail?Copy !req
197. I wish it was this one.Copy !req
198. There. Tell the tyrant queen
her cardies are safe forever.Copy !req
199. Mr Moose is up.Copy !req
200. - It's done, done, done!
- It's up.Copy !req
201. It's down again.Copy !req
202. - Did you use a wall plug?
- Give it to me! Give it to...Copy !req
203. No, he just fell over Manuel, and he seems to
have got himself jammed under the swivel chair.Copy !req
204. And the flowers have just fallen on him.Copy !req
205. No, everything else is fine.Copy !req
206. Up. Up. Easy. Very good.Copy !req
207. Right. Good.Copy !req
208. - Is good.
- Is good.Copy !req
209. Oh, what is...Copy !req
210. Right, well, go on, get back to your work.Copy !req
211. £12...Copy !req
212. - Good morning.
- Good morning.Copy !req
213. You know there's a fire drill
in a few minutes, do you?Copy !req
214. - No, no, we didn't.
- You hadn't read the notice?Copy !req
215. - No.
- Right, well, when you hear the bellCopy !req
216. if you'd be so kind as to get out for a few
moments, we have to clear the building.Copy !req
217. Thank you so much.Copy !req
218. - Mr Fawlty, you know it's nearly 12:00?
- Yes?Copy !req
219. - Well, the fire drill?
- Yes, I hadn't forgotten. I just told somebody.Copy !req
220. I can cope.
I mean, you know what you're doing, do you?Copy !req
221. - Help get people out of the bedrooms upstairs.
- While learning two oriental languages.Copy !req
222. - Mr Fawlty?
- Yes?Copy !req
223. - Who else is doing the upstairs?
- Only you, it doesn't take a moment.Copy !req
224. - Yes, but I'm only here at mealtimes.
- So?Copy !req
225. What happens if there's a fire when I'm not here?
Who does the upstairs then?Copy !req
226. Well, we'll worry about that when we come to it.
What's the panic?Copy !req
227. Always an argument about everything.Copy !req
228. Hello, Fawlty Towers.Copy !req
229. Oh, what is it now?
Can't you leave me in peace?Copy !req
230. Yes, we're just gonna have
it, I hadn't forgotten!Copy !req
231. Yes, I know I need the key.
It's on the top of the...Copy !req
232. Well, where is it?Copy !req
233. Well, what'd you put it in there for?
Nobody's going to steal it, are they?Copy !req
234. Yes, yes, I know that you know, but I don't...
Yes, I do now, thank you so much.Copy !req
235. Why's she got to complicate it?
I put something down,Copy !req
236. I know where it is, so she has to come along
and move the damn thing so I can't find it.Copy !req
237. Well, what'd she put that on...
Oh, I might've guessed.Copy !req
238. - Sorry, Major, only the burglar alarm. Sorry.
- What?Copy !req
239. Sorry, Miss Tibbs. That was the burglar alarm.
Fire drill's not for a couple of minutes. Sorry.Copy !req
240. - Excuse me?
- Burglars, Fawlty?Copy !req
241. - No, no, my wife left... Excuse me?
- Yes?Copy !req
242. Sorry, that wasn't the fire bell...
That was just the...Copy !req
243. - I thought there was a drill.
- Yes, there is. At 12:00 but not yet.Copy !req
244. - But it is 12:00.
- Not quite, thank you. Excuse me?Copy !req
245. - Well, I make it 12:00.
- I'm afraid that wasn't the...Copy !req
246. What time do you make it, Major?Copy !req
247. - Look.
- Burglars about, I think.Copy !req
248. It doesn't matter what time he makes it,
it hasn't started yet.Copy !req
249. - What?
- It hasn't started yet!Copy !req
250. - But that was the bell, wasn't it?
- No!Copy !req
251. - He means the drill hasn't started yet.
- What drill? We didn't hear a drill.Copy !req
252. - No, no, look, look. That was the burglar alarm.
- See!Copy !req
253. - The burglar alarm?
- Yes!Copy !req
254. - Are there burglars?
- Evidently.Copy !req
255. No, what's the matter with you all?
It's perfectly simple.Copy !req
256. We have the fire drill when I ring the fire bell.
That wasn't the fire bell, right?Copy !req
257. Well, how were we supposed to know
that wasn't the fire bell?Copy !req
258. - Because it doesn't sound like the fire bell!
- It did!Copy !req
259. - It didn't!
- It did!Copy !req
260. No, it didn't!
The fire bell's a different...Copy !req
261. - It's a semitone higher!
- A semitone?Copy !req
262. At least! Anyway, the fire drill
doesn't start till 12:00!Copy !req
263. It is 12:00!Copy !req
264. Well, it is now, because we've been
standing about arguing about it!Copy !req
265. How on earth can you expect us to tell
which bell is which?Copy !req
266. - We haven't heard them yet, have we?
- You want to hear them? Suits me.Copy !req
267. - Here's the burglar alarm.
- Ought we to catch them first?Copy !req
268. - There aren't any!
- Then why does the alarm keep going?Copy !req
269. - All right? Got that? Right.
- What's happening now?Copy !req
270. Now here's the fire bell, right?
It's a completely different sound, listen.Copy !req
271. - Well, where are you going?
- Well, there is a drill, isn't there?Copy !req
272. No, no, no, no, no, don't be...
This is so that you can hear the bellCopy !req
273. so you know in a moment
when I ring the bell!Copy !req
274. What are you doing? Will you come back?Copy !req
275. - We're going outside.
- No, just listen to it, you old fool!Copy !req
276. - What?
- Listen to it!Copy !req
277. Fire, fire, everybody out please, fire!
Out, out.Copy !req
278. - Will you shut up? Will you shut up?
- Is fire.Copy !req
279. - Is not fire. Is only bell. Where are you going?
- Upstairs.Copy !req
280. There isn't a drill yet,
I'm just showing them what the bell sounds like.Copy !req
281. - Now will you go in there? Go help Chef.
- Chef not here.Copy !req
282. - Well, go and start the chips.
- Chips?Copy !req
283. Yes. When bell go again, stay.
No fire, only practice.Copy !req
284. Tell him, Polly. Thank you, thank you,
ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much.Copy !req
285. - Perhaps they're upstairs.
- What's happening now?Copy !req
286. We're having it!Copy !req
287. Now, are we all agreed
on what the fire bell sounds like?Copy !req
288. - Yes.
- Splendid.Copy !req
289. Well, now that's settled,
we'll have the fire drill,Copy !req
290. which will commence in exactly 30 seconds
from now. Thank you so much.Copy !req
291. What are you doing?Copy !req
292. - I mean, are you just going to stand there?
- Well, what do you suggest?Copy !req
293. Couldn't one or two of you go in the bar
and a few in the dining room?Copy !req
294. - Use your imagination!
- Why?Copy !req
295. - Well, this is supposed to be a fire drill.
- There's only a few seconds.Copy !req
296. Right, right. Well, stay where you are
because obviously if there was a fire,Copy !req
297. you'd all be standing down here like this
in the lobby, wouldn't you?Copy !req
298. I don't know why we bother.
We should let you all burn!Copy !req
299. No, no, no. Please. No, no, no, no.Copy !req
300. Fuego! Fuego! Fuego! Fuego! Aah!Copy !req
301. No, no, there aren't any, Major,
it went off by accident.Copy !req
302. - Oh, come on, Angina.
- Oh, thank you, thank you so much.Copy !req
303. - Fire! Fire! Fire!
- No!Copy !req
304. - Yes! Sí!
- Look, will you get back in there?Copy !req
305. Shut up! I mean,
just get on with your work!Copy !req
306. - Please, Mr Fawlty, is fire!
- Did you hear what I said?Copy !req
307. - No, but is fire.
- Is no fire. Is only bell.Copy !req
308. Is fire, is fire, is fire!Copy !req
309. - He thinks there's a fire.
- Everybody's out upstairs.Copy !req
310. No, Manuel, listen,
de nada, de nada, there is no fire!Copy !req
311. Is fire!Copy !req
312. Is fire!Copy !req
313. Well, that'll keep the fire department
happy for another six months,Copy !req
314. - why we bother...
- Fire!Copy !req
315. Will you shut up?Copy !req
316. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen,
you can come back in now.Copy !req
317. - Yes, we've just had it.
- Shut up!Copy !req
318. Yes, I will.
Have you told Chef about the cheddar?Copy !req
319. - Mr Fawlty! Mr Fawlty!
- Yes?Copy !req
320. - There's an awful row.
- Yes, I know. Right, right, I'll deal with it.Copy !req
321. Thank you so much
for poking your nose in where...Copy !req
322. - If you don't stop this...
- You save me!Copy !req
323. Right. Ladies and gentlemen,
could I have everyone down here in the lobby?Copy !req
324. Yes, sorry, sorry to disturb you like this,Copy !req
325. but there is something
that I think I ought to mention.Copy !req
326. I'm not quite sure how this happened,Copy !req
327. in fact, it's never happened at this hotel before,
and I'm not quite sure how it's started now.Copy !req
328. - What is it?
- Well, the point is, can I put it this way?Copy !req
329. - Fire.
- What?Copy !req
330. Fire. Fire.Copy !req
331. - Fire?
- Fire!Copy !req
332. - Where?
- There! Fire. Fire!Copy !req
333. Fire!Copy !req
334. Fire! Fire! Fire! What do we do?
I'll call Sybil!Copy !req
335. - Ring the alarm.
- What?Copy !req
336. - Ring the alarm.
- Right.Copy !req
337. Where's the key?
Where is the... I mean would you believe it?Copy !req
338. I mean, would you believe it?
The first time we've ever had a fire hereCopy !req
339. in this hotel and somebody's lost the key!Copy !req
340. I mean isn't that typical of this place?Copy !req
341. Oh, thank you, God!
Thank you so bloody much!Copy !req
342. - Smash the glass!
- What?Copy !req
343. Smash the glass.Copy !req
344. Hello? Thank you.Copy !req
345. Right, right, out the door.Copy !req
346. Quick, I remember. Manuel!Copy !req
347. Pull, pull, man, pull!Copy !req
348. Right, open the door.Copy !req
349. Well, thank you for coming to see me.Copy !req
350. - Not at all, I was just...
- How are you feeling?Copy !req
351. - The fire!
- It's all...Copy !req
352. - The fire!
- It's out. There's not much damage.Copy !req
353. - Where is it, where are they?
- What are you doing?Copy !req
354. - Got to get back.
- Basil, will you get back into bed?Copy !req
355. Yes, what is it now?Copy !req
356. I'm going to call someone
if you don't get back into bed.Copy !req
357. Listen, Sybil, please,
I'll handle this, if you don't mind.Copy !req
358. - Now, what sort of a room do you want?
- Basil!Copy !req
359. Oh, there you are, I can't stand around
chattering all day, I've got to get back.Copy !req
360. Basil, you are not well. The doctor says
you've got concussion. You must rest.Copy !req
361. - I'll rest when I get to the hotel.
- I've just spoken to Polly,Copy !req
362. - they are managing perfectly well.
- Do you know what that fire extinguisher did?Copy !req
363. It exploded in my face.
I mean, what is the point of a fire extinguisher?Copy !req
364. It sits there for months,
and when you actually have a fire,Copy !req
365. when you actually need the bloody thing,
it blows your head off!Copy !req
366. I mean, what is happening to this country?Copy !req
367. It's bloody Wilson!Copy !req
368. What a lot of noise.Copy !req
369. - Now what are you doing out of your bed?
- Going home, thank you so much.Copy !req
370. - We'll let the doctor decide that now, shall we?
- No, let's not.Copy !req
371. - Now, come along.
- Don't touch me. I don't know where you've been.Copy !req
372. Yes, yes, we must have our little jokes,
mustn't we?Copy !req
373. Yes, we must, mustn't we?
My God, you're ugly, aren't you?Copy !req
374. - Mind-boggling.
- Basil?Copy !req
375. - Hmm?
- I'll get the doctor.Copy !req
376. You need a plastic surgeon,
dear, not a doctor.Copy !req
377. How dare you talk to Sister like that.
Get back into bed.Copy !req
378. You do not seem to realise
that I am needed at the hotel.Copy !req
379. No, you're not.
It's running beautifully without you.Copy !req
380. Polly cannot cope!Copy !req
381. Well, she can't fall over waiters, or get herself
jammed under desks, or start burglar alarms,Copy !req
382. or lock people in burning rooms, or fire
fire extinguishers straight in her own face,Copy !req
383. but I'd think the hotel can do without
that sort of coping for a couple of days.Copy !req
384. What do you think, Basil, hmm?Copy !req
385. - What?
- Oh, hello, Doctor.Copy !req
386. - Out of bed, Mr Fawlty?
- Sort of. Oh, there they are.Copy !req
387. Well, better get back into bed.
Oh, feel a little bit woozy.Copy !req
388. - You will for a time, Mr Fawlty, you will.
- Yes, quite, quite.Copy !req
389. You should get as much rest as you can.
As much rest as you can.Copy !req
390. As much rest as you can.Copy !req
391. Gnädiges Fräulein, können sie mir sagen,
wann das Mittagessen serviert wird, bitte?Copy !req
392. Um ein Uhr. Fünf Minuten.Copy !req
393. - Vielen Dank.
- Bitte schön.Copy !req
394. - Manuel?
- Oh, Mr Fawlty.Copy !req
395. - Ah, good evening.
- Are you all right now?Copy !req
396. Perfectly, thank you.
Take this to the room, please, dear.Copy !req
397. - Are you sure you're all right?
- Perfectly, thank you. Right as rain.Copy !req
398. - You okay?
- Fine, thank you, dear.Copy !req
399. - You go and have a lie down.
- Qué?Copy !req
400. Ah, there you are.Copy !req
401. - Will you take my case... How did you get that?
- What?Copy !req
402. - Oh, never mind. Take it, take it upstairs.
- Qué?Copy !req
403. - Take it, take it.
- I go get Polly.Copy !req
404. I've already had one. Take it. Take it now.
God, the people I have to deal with.Copy !req
405. - Sprechen Sie Deutsch?
- I beg your pardon?Copy !req
406. Entschuldigen Sie bitte.
Können Sie Deutsch sprechen?Copy !req
407. - I'm sorry, could you say that again?
- Do you speak German?Copy !req
408. Oh, German! I'm sorry.
I thought there was something wrong with you.Copy !req
409. Of course. The Germans.Copy !req
410. - You speak German?
- Well, a little, I get by.Copy !req
411. Ein bisschen.Copy !req
412. - Well, why not?
- Bitte.Copy !req
413. - Little bit tricky, would you mind saying it again?
- Please.Copy !req
414. Could you repeat, amplify.Copy !req
415. - You know, reiterate, yes?
- Wir...Copy !req
416. Wir. Yes, we'll come back to that.Copy !req
417. - ... wollen...
- "Wollen?"Voluntary?"Copy !req
418. - ... ein Auto mieten.
- "A uto..."Out to..."Copy !req
419. Oh, I see, you're volunteering
to go out to get some meat.Copy !req
420. Not necessary. We have meat here.Copy !req
421. We have meat here
in the building.Copy !req
422. - Ah, Polly, just explaining about the meat.
- We weren't expecting you.Copy !req
423. Oh, weren't you?
They're Germans, don't mention the war.Copy !req
424. I see.Copy !req
425. Well, Mrs Fawlty said you were going to have
a rest for a couple of days, in the hospital.Copy !req
426. Idle hands get in the way of the devil's work,
Fawlty. Now...Copy !req
427. Right. Why don't you go have a lie down?
And I can deal with this.Copy !req
428. Yes, yes, good idea. Good idea, Elsie.
Yes, bit of a headache actually.Copy !req
429. We don't think you're well, Mr Fawlty.Copy !req
430. Well, perhaps not,
but I'll live longer than you.Copy !req
431. You must have hurt yourself.Copy !req
432. My dear woman, a blow on the
head, like that...Copy !req
433. is worth two in the bush.Copy !req
434. - Oh, we know, but it was a nasty knock.
- Would you like one?Copy !req
435. Next please.Copy !req
436. - Polly, are these Germans, too?
- Oh, yes, but I can deal with it.Copy !req
437. Right, right. Here's the plan:Copy !req
438. I'll stand there and ask them if they
want something to drink before the war.Copy !req
439. Before their lunch!Copy !req
440. Before their lunch. Don't mention the war.Copy !req
441. Ja, ja.Copy !req
442. Can we help you?Copy !req
443. - Oh, you speak English?
- Of course.Copy !req
444. Ah, wonderful! Wunderbar! Ah.Copy !req
445. Please allow me to introduce myself.
I am the owner of Fawlty Towers,Copy !req
446. and may I welcome your war... you war...
you all, you all,Copy !req
447. and hope that your stay
will be a happy one.Copy !req
448. Now, would you like to eat first
or would you like a drink before the war?Copy !req
449. That trespassers will be
tied up with piano wire.Copy !req
450. Sorry, sorry, trouble with the old leg.
Got a touch of shrapnel in the war.Copy !req
451. Korean! Korean war! Sorry, Korean.Copy !req
452. - Thank you. We will eat now.
- Oh, good, please, do allow me.Copy !req
453. May I say how pleased we are to have some
Europeans here now that we are on the continent?Copy !req
454. Can I speak to Dr Fin, please?Copy !req
455. I didn't vote for it myself, quite honestly,
but now that we're in,Copy !req
456. I'm determined to make it work,
so I'd like to welcome you all to Britain.Copy !req
457. The plaice is grilled, but that doesn't matter,
there's life in the old thing yet.Copy !req
458. Wait a moment, got a bit confused there.Copy !req
459. Oh, yes, the plaice is grilled...Copy !req
460. In fact, the whole room's a bit warm, isn't it?
I'll open a window, have a look.Copy !req
461. And the veal chop is done with rosemary.Copy !req
462. That's funny,
I thought she'd gone to Canada.Copy !req
463. And is delicious and nutritious,
in fact, it's veally good.Copy !req
464. - Veally good, ha ha!
- The veal is good?Copy !req
465. Yes, doesn't matter, never mind.Copy !req
466. - May we have two eggs mayonnaises, please?
- Certainly. Why not? Why not, indeed?Copy !req
467. - We are all friends now, eh?
- A prawn cocktail.Copy !req
468. All in the market together, old differences
forgotten, and no need at all to mention the war.Copy !req
469. - Sorry, sorry, sorry, what was it again?
- The prawn cocktail.Copy !req
470. Prawn, that was it. When you said prawn,
I thought you said war.Copy !req
471. Oh, the war! Oh, yes, completely slipped
my mind, yes, I'd forgotten all about it.Copy !req
472. Hitler, Himmler and all that lot.
Yes, completely forgotten it, just like that.Copy !req
473. - Sorry, what was it again?
- A prawn cocktail!Copy !req
474. Oh, yes, Eva Prawn, yes, and Goebbels, too,
another one I can hardly remember.Copy !req
475. And a pickled herring.Copy !req
476. Hermann Goering, yes, yes.
And Von Ribbentrop, that was another one.Copy !req
477. - And four cold meat salads, please.
- Certainly, I'll just get your hors d'oeuvres.Copy !req
478. Hors d'oeuvres which must be obeyed at all times
without question. Sorry, sorry, sorry.Copy !req
479. Mr Fawlty, would you please call
your wife immediately?Copy !req
480. Sybil! Sybil.
She's in the hospital, you silly girl.Copy !req
481. - Yes, call her there.
- I can't, I've got too much to do.Copy !req
482. Listen, don't mention the war.Copy !req
483. I mentioned it once,
but I think I got away with it all right.Copy !req
484. So, it's all forgotten now
and let's hear no more about it.Copy !req
485. So, two eggs mayonnaise, a prawn Goebbels,
a Hermann Goering, and four Colditz salads.Copy !req
486. Wait a moment, I got a bit confused here.Copy !req
487. I got a bit confused
'cause everyone keeps mentioning the war.Copy !req
488. So, could you... What's the matter?Copy !req
489. - It's all right.
- Is there something wrong?Copy !req
490. Will you stop talking about the war?Copy !req
491. - Me? You started it!
- We did not start it.Copy !req
492. Yes, you did, you invaded Poland.Copy !req
493. Here, blow, here, this'll cheer you up.
You'll like this one:Copy !req
494. There's this woman, she's completely stupid,
she can never remember anything,Copy !req
495. and her husband's in a bomber
over Berlin. Oh, sorry.Copy !req
496. She'll love this one, she'll laugh.Copy !req
497. - Leave her alone.
- No, this is a scream.Copy !req
498. - I have never seen anyone not laugh at this.
- Go away!Copy !req
499. Look, she'll love it, she's German.Copy !req
500. - No, Mr Fawlty!
- What?Copy !req
501. - Do Jimmy Cagney instead.
- What?Copy !req
502. - Jimmy Cagney.
- Jimmy Cagney?Copy !req
503. You know, "You dirty rat."Copy !req
504. - I can't do Jimmy Cagney.
- Please try. "I'm going to get you."Copy !req
505. Shut up. Here, watch. Who's this then?Copy !req
506. I'll do the funny walk.Copy !req
507. - Stop it!
- What?Copy !req
508. - Stop it!
- I'm trying to cheer her up, you stupid Kraut!Copy !req
509. - It's not funny for her!
- Not funny?Copy !req
510. - Not funny? You're joking!
- It's not funny for her, not for us,Copy !req
511. - not for any German people.
- You have absolutely no sense of humour, do you?Copy !req
512. This is not funny!Copy !req
513. Who won the bloody war anyway?Copy !req
514. - Mr Fawlty, you'll be all right, come with me.
- Fine.Copy !req
515. - Oh, he hit me on the head!
- No, you hit him on the head.Copy !req
516. You naughty moose!Copy !req
517. However did they win?Copy !req