1. By Jove!Copy !req
2. It's warm tonight, isn't it, Fawlty?Copy !req
3. Certainly is, Major, yes.Copy !req
4. Very warm.Copy !req
5. Can I get you another one?Copy !req
6. What? Oh, well, why not, indeed?
What a very nice idea.Copy !req
7. Reminds me
of somebody machine-gunning a seal.Copy !req
8. - The heat?
- No, no. My wife's laugh.Copy !req
9. Ah, yes.Copy !req
10. Ah, good evening, Mrs Peignoir.Copy !req
11. Good evening.Copy !req
12. Thank you for your map. It was so useful.Copy !req
13. I must congratulate you.Copy !req
14. I had no idea how charming Torquay was.Copy !req
15. Enchanté.
May I ask, did you find anything of interest?Copy !req
16. Mmm. A few pieces I like very much.Copy !req
17. And one, oh, I had to have it.Copy !req
18. Formidable. I'm so pleased.Copy !req
19. May I introduce Major Gowen,
our longest-standing resident? Mrs Peignoir.Copy !req
20. - How do you do, Major?
- How do you do, madam?Copy !req
21. Mrs Peignoir's an antique dealer.Copy !req
22. She's down here for a few days,
sniffing around for dainty relics.Copy !req
23. Please don't alarm yourself,
it's only my wife laughing.Copy !req
24. I'm afraid her local
finishing school was bombed.Copy !req
25. Oh, dear!Copy !req
26. No, no, not really. Just a thought.
Well, now, what can I get you?Copy !req
27. - Do you have any Ricard?
- I'm sorry?Copy !req
28. Any Ricard?Copy !req
29. We're just out of it, I think.Copy !req
30. - Just a sherry, then.
- But of course.Copy !req
31. Tell me, are you,
by any chance, French at all?Copy !req
32. - Yes, I am.
- Good Lord!Copy !req
33. Enjoying yourself, dear?Copy !req
34. We, er...
We haven't put any nuts in the bowl, have we?Copy !req
35. I haven't. I don't know about you.Copy !req
36. - Well, I'll do it then, shall I?
- That would be the simplest solution, dear.Copy !req
37. Where's Manuel?Copy !req
38. We've given him the evening off, dear.
It's his birthday.Copy !req
39. I mean, how old is he? Two and a half?Copy !req
40. Excuse me, there are no nuts here, Sybil.Copy !req
41. No nuts!Copy !req
42. You'll find them in the kitchen. Ha!Copy !req
43. Oh, will I?Copy !req
44. If you can bear to tear yourself away
from Mrs Peignoir, you will. Do go on.Copy !req
45. In 1918, I think.Copy !req
46. Did you ever see that film,
How to Murder Your Wife?Copy !req
47. - How to Murder Your Wife?
- Yes, awfully good. I saw it six times.Copy !req
48. Very funny!Copy !req
49. - Are you all right, Mr Fawlty?
- What? Yes, thank you very much.Copy !req
50. You all right?Copy !req
51. - Yes.
- Good, good. We're all all right, then.Copy !req
52. - Must be the heat.
- Yes, and he's getting taller, isn't he?Copy !req
53. I don't think he's very well, dear.
I think we ought to take care of him.Copy !req
54. - Hello.
- Hello.Copy !req
55. I think I left it over here somewhere.
Hang on.Copy !req
56. Ah, here it is. See you tonight.Copy !req
57. Come on.Copy !req
58. Yes! A single for tonight, is it?Copy !req
59. - Mr Fawlty, may I introduce Richard Turner?
- I'm sorry?Copy !req
60. - He's a friend of mine.
- Oh, you know each other, do you?Copy !req
61. Just passing through, are you?Copy !req
62. There you go. See you tonight.Copy !req
63. We've opened a library, have we? How nice.Copy !req
64. Please don't leave on my
account, Mr Turnip.Copy !req
65. - I'm sorry, Mr Fawlty.
- Now look, Polly.Copy !req
66. We were just saying goodbye...Copy !req
67. I mean, what sort of place
do you think this is, a massage parlour?Copy !req
68. We are running a nice, respectable, high...Copy !req
69. - I'm sorry, did I say something funny?
- No, I was just looking for...Copy !req
70. No, no, obviously I said something
frightfully comic.Copy !req
71. No, it's just the heat.Copy !req
72. Well, so long as I amuse the staff.
I mean, that's all I'm here for.Copy !req
73. - I'll just take these in...
- One other thing, Polly.Copy !req
74. I'm afraid we've abandoned the idea
of the topless afternoon teas,Copy !req
75. so if you wouldn't mind changing before you
go in where people may be trying to eat.Copy !req
76. I was going to.Copy !req
77. Polly, would you come back here, please?Copy !req
78. I'm on form tonight. Yes, Mr Fawlty?Copy !req
79. I know these kind of drawings
are considered decent at art school.Copy !req
80. Would you please not leave them
lying around on display at the reception?Copy !req
81. - I'll put them away when I've got some clothes on.
- I mean, really!Copy !req
82. Hello, Fawlty Titties.Copy !req
83. Yes, yes. Oh, it's you, Audrey. Yes.Copy !req
84. Oh, he's left you again, has he? Oh, dear.Copy !req
85. Oh, dear. How sad. Hmm. Yes.Copy !req
86. Ah, good evening, Major.
Yes, I'll be with you in just one moment.Copy !req
87. Well, I'll get her to call.
Yes, well, keep your pecker up. Bye.Copy !req
88. Dreadful.Copy !req
89. Stop it, Alan.Copy !req
90. Ruff, ruff, ruff!Copy !req
91. - Hello. We've booked a room.
- Have you?Copy !req
92. - Yes, a double one. The name is...
- One moment, please.Copy !req
93. - That's a nice suit.
- What?Copy !req
94. Nothing.Copy !req
95. - I thought you said something.
- No.Copy !req
96. Are you all right?Copy !req
97. Yes, thank you.Copy !req
98. - Are we ready?
- I think we are, yes.Copy !req
99. - May I have your name, please?
- Yes, it's Bruce.Copy !req
100. - Mr and Mrs Bruce.
- That's right.Copy !req
101. - Is it a double bed?
- I beg your pardon?Copy !req
102. Has our room got a double bed?Copy !req
103. - A double bed?
- Yes.Copy !req
104. We've only got one double bed,
I mean, do you want that?Copy !req
105. Oh, very much, indeed. Yes.Copy !req
106. - Well, I'll have to put you in number 12, then.
- All right.Copy !req
107. I mean... Oh, never mind.Copy !req
108. Has it got a breeze?Copy !req
109. - Has it got a breeze?
- Well, is it airy?Copy !req
110. There's air in it. I mean, what the...Copy !req
111. - Oh, I think there's a letter for me.
- What?Copy !req
112. - There's a letter for me there.
- No, there isn't.Copy !req
113. Yes. Jean Wilson.Copy !req
114. - Jean Wilson, is this you?
- Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
115. Now, what's going on here?Copy !req
116. - Well, I can't give you a double room, then.
- Oh, look...Copy !req
117. It's against the law.Copy !req
118. - What law?
- The law of England. Nothing to do with me.Copy !req
119. - Nothing to do with you?
- Nothing at all.Copy !req
120. I can give you two singles,
if you like, but...Copy !req
121. - Shall we go somewhere else?
- Excuse me.Copy !req
122. There's my key.
And now, I'm off to paint the town red.Copy !req
123. Thank you so much.Copy !req
124. Well, er, perhaps I'll see
you later this evening?Copy !req
125. Yes, my wife and I will be up
till quite late tonight, thank you.Copy !req
126. I don't believe a word! Excuse me.Copy !req
127. We'll have two singles then,
if that's all right with the police.Copy !req
128. - Two singles, certainly. Now...
- Next to each other.Copy !req
129. Next to each other. Oh, dear, we can't do that.
What a shame.Copy !req
130. - Good evening.
- Good evening.Copy !req
131. - A double, is it?
- We'd like a double.Copy !req
132. Two singles, dear.
Not married. Now...Copy !req
133. - What?
- Nothing, dear. I'm dealing with it.Copy !req
134. Well, 17 and 18 are free.
You'd have to share a bath.Copy !req
135. No. Oh, Audrey called.Copy !req
136. I'll handle it.Copy !req
137. - George has left her again.
- Oh, no.Copy !req
138. Now, we've got one on the first floor,
one right up at the top.Copy !req
139. - Shall I deal with this, Basil?
- I'm dealing with it, dear.Copy !req
140. No, that's all right.
You wanted two singles?Copy !req
141. - I said I'd deal with it.
- Mind sharing a bathroom?Copy !req
142. - I was here first.
- It's my turn now, then.Copy !req
143. I fought in the Korean War, you know.
I killed four men.Copy !req
144. He was in the catering corps,
he used to poison them.Copy !req
145. Yes? Who is it?Copy !req
146. - Is Manuel.
- What do you want?Copy !req
147. - Can I go now?
- I thought you'd gone.Copy !req
148. - Qué?
- I thought you'd gone.Copy !req
149. - No, no, I turned it off.
- What?Copy !req
150. It was about so high.Copy !req
151. No, no. I said, I thought... A creduto...
It doesn't matter.Copy !req
152. - Qué?
- It doesn't matter.Copy !req
153. - Oh, you think I gone?
- Yes.Copy !req
154. - No, no, I go now.
- Wonderful.Copy !req
155. What? Is okay?Copy !req
156. - Is okay.
- Thank you.Copy !req
157. - Yes?
- Before I go...Copy !req
158. What is it?Copy !req
159. - Is my birthday.
- Yes, I know!Copy !req
160. - "I want to thank you for beautiful present."
- Oh yes. Fine.Copy !req
161. "And for your much kindness to me
since I come here."Copy !req
162. Not at all. My pleasure.Copy !req
163. "Since coming here from Spain,
leaving my mother..."Copy !req
164. - Outside.
- Qué?Copy !req
165. Outside. Thank you.Copy !req
166. "Since coming here from Spain,
leaving my five brothers and four sisters..."Copy !req
167. Give it to me. Thank you.Copy !req
168. - Can I have it, Basil?
- What, dear?Copy !req
169. - I want that key.
- I've only got the key to room 12, dear.Copy !req
170. - That's the one.
- Now look here, Sybil...Copy !req
171. Basil!Copy !req
172. If you were my size...Copy !req
173. "Since coming..."Copy !req
174. - Manuel.
- Sí, sí?Copy !req
175. Number 12, please.Copy !req
176. Basil!Copy !req
177. Jean!Copy !req
178. - Hello, Poll.
- What are you doing here?Copy !req
179. - Well, we couldn't get in at the Bellevue.
- Oh, no.Copy !req
180. - Hello, Alan.
- It'll be fun. My parents arrive tomorrow.Copy !req
181. What, here?Copy !req
182. - Well, I warned you.
- Yes, we've already met the famous Fawlty.Copy !req
183. Shh. I'm not supposed to hobnob.Copy !req
184. - Oh, I like your outfit.
- I'll give you the pattern.Copy !req
185. Are you going to be
at Fiona's wedding?Copy !req
186. I can't, but I'll be at the reception,
in my very own Jean Wilson creation.Copy !req
187. - I want you to try that on later.
- Okay.Copy !req
188. How's that gorgeous stepfather?Copy !req
189. I haven't seen him for a month.
He's been in Singapore.Copy !req
190. Oh, blast!Copy !req
191. I forgot to get those batteries
for my electric razor.Copy !req
192. Is there anywhere still open, Poll?Copy !req
193. - You might find a chemist's.
- I better have a look. Won't be long.Copy !req
194. - Is Richard coming tonight?
- We'll be along about 10:00.Copy !req
195. Great!Copy !req
196. Hello, again.Copy !req
197. Well, we managed to get it all sorted out
with your wife.Copy !req
198. I wouldn't know about that.
Is there something you want?Copy !req
199. Yes. I know it's a bit late,
but do you know if there's a chemist still open?Copy !req
200. I beg your pardon?Copy !req
201. Do you know if there's
a chemist still open?Copy !req
202. I suppose you think this is funny, do you?Copy !req
203. - Funny?
- Ha, ha, ha.Copy !req
204. No, no. I really want to know.Copy !req
205. Oh, do you? Well, I don't.
So far as I know, all the chemists are shut.Copy !req
206. You'll just have to wait
till tomorrow. Sorry.Copy !req
207. Bit of a blow, I imagine.Copy !req
208. - What?
- Nothing. You heard.Copy !req
209. Is that all?Copy !req
210. - Well...
- Yes?Copy !req
211. - I don't suppose you've got a couple...
- Now, look!Copy !req
212. Just don't push your luck!
I have a breaking point, you know.Copy !req
213. I only want some batteries.Copy !req
214. I don't believe it.Copy !req
215. - What?
- Batteries, eh?Copy !req
216. You know something? You disgust me.Copy !req
217. I know what people like you get up to,
and I think it's disgusting!Copy !req
218. What are you talking about?Copy !req
219. I want some batteries for my electric razor.
I want to shave!Copy !req
220. - Oh, yes?
- Yes! I haven't shaved today. Look, see?Copy !req
221. - Electric razor, huh?
- Right.Copy !req
222. Well, that's what I was referring to
when I said it was disgusting.Copy !req
223. It is, of course, disgusting that you
haven't shaved, but understandable.Copy !req
224. I mean, sometimes I don't shave either,
and that's disgusting, too.Copy !req
225. So I shall have a razor
sent up to your room straightaway.Copy !req
226. Thank you so much, good night.Copy !req
227. Hello?Copy !req
228. Audrey, any news?Copy !req
229. Oh, dear. He hasn't?Copy !req
230. Oh, I know.Copy !req
231. He doesn't deserve you, Audrey.
He really doesn't.Copy !req
232. Exactly. I know you have.Copy !req
233. I know. I know.Copy !req
234. - Oh, I know.
- Are you gonna go on like that all night?Copy !req
235. What was that, Audrey?Copy !req
236. Oh, I know.Copy !req
237. - I know.
- Well, why is she telling you, then?Copy !req
238. I understand, dear, I really do.Copy !req
239. I can't stand it anymore.
I'll go clean the roof or something.Copy !req
240. There's the front doorbell.
Somebody's got back late.Copy !req
241. Yes, yes.Copy !req
242. - I expect they forgot their passkey.
- I know.Copy !req
243. - Somebody better go and let them in.
- Yes.Copy !req
244. - I'll go then, shall I?
- Hmm.Copy !req
245. Yes, I agree. Right. I'll go, then.Copy !req
246. You know who that is, don't you?Copy !req
247. That's your pair, the Kama Sutra set.Copy !req
248. "Good evening, welcome to
Basil Fawlty Knocking Shops Limited."Copy !req
249. No, dear. It's only Basil.Copy !req
250. I'm coming, I'm coming.Copy !req
251. I mean, I suppose you know what time it is?Copy !req
252. Oh, Mr Fawlty, I'm so sorry.Copy !req
253. Oh, no. It's only a quarter past 11.Copy !req
254. I got you out of your bed.Copy !req
255. Not at all.
I had a few little jobs to do...Copy !req
256. Oh, you're so kind.Copy !req
257. - Oh, well...
- I had just a lovely evening.Copy !req
258. Did you? How very nice.Copy !req
259. I saw some friends I hadn't seen for years.Copy !req
260. I had a little bit too much to
drink, I'm afraid.Copy !req
261. What's life for if one can't get a bit...?Copy !req
262. - Blotto?
- Well, hardly blotto.Copy !req
263. Mr Fawlty, you're so charming.Copy !req
264. Well, one does one's best.Copy !req
265. I hope Mrs Fawlty
appreciates how lucky she is.Copy !req
266. I think probably not, in fact.Copy !req
267. Sorry, beg your pardon. Ah, there we are.Copy !req
268. Oh, sorry! Sorry! Ha, Ha! There you are.Copy !req
269. - Carry on.
- We're awfully sorry.Copy !req
270. No, it was quite extraordinary.Copy !req
271. The front doorbell went
just a moment or two ago,Copy !req
272. and I thought to myself,
"I expect that'll be Alan and..."Copy !req
273. So, down I go, and lo and behold,
it's not you at all. It's Mrs Peignoir.Copy !req
274. Have you met Alan and...
This is Mrs Peignoir.Copy !req
275. She's an antique dealer,
I mean, she deals in antiques.Copy !req
276. She's not frightfully old or anything.Copy !req
277. So, I let her in just ten secs ago, hardly five,
I mean, hardly time to say good evening,Copy !req
278. in she comes, drops her thing,
down I go, down she goes,Copy !req
279. and there you are, bless my soul.
Golly, is that the time?Copy !req
280. My goodness, I was thinking
it was a quarter past ten. My God!Copy !req
281. I'd better get to bed.
Can't stand around talking all night.Copy !req
282. Got to get an early night. Bye!Copy !req
283. Sorry!Copy !req
284. - Are you all right?
- Yes, I am.Copy !req
285. Good night. Bonne nuit.Copy !req
286. Jean, I'll just make that call.Copy !req
287. - Don't be too long.
- No.Copy !req
288. Well?Copy !req
289. - Hmm?
- Who was it?Copy !req
290. It was your pair.Copy !req
291. - Good night.
- Bonne nuit.Copy !req
292. Oh, and that woman...Copy !req
293. - Mrs Peignoir?
- Yes. Something like that.Copy !req
294. Dormez bien, Mr Fawlty.Copy !req
295. How's Audrey?Copy !req
296. - She's in a terrible state.
- Ah, good, good.Copy !req
297. There's someone at the door, Sybil!Copy !req
298. - Why are you shouting, Basil?
- Was I shouting? Sorry, Sybil.Copy !req
299. Well, I'd better go see who that is, Sybil.Copy !req
300. I expect it's some key
who forgot to get the guest for their door.Copy !req
301. Or something like that,
some innocent explanation.Copy !req
302. - Ha, are you ready, Sybil?
- I'm ready.Copy !req
303. Right. I'll just see who
that is then, Sybil.Copy !req
304. All right, Sybil?Copy !req
305. Hello?Copy !req
306. Hello?Copy !req
307. Olé!Copy !req
308. Oh, so sorry, Mr Fawlty. Poor Mr Fawlty.Copy !req
309. - Are you all right?
- No, I'm dying, but don't get out of bed.Copy !req
310. I hurt you, and you so wonderful to me.Copy !req
311. Give me such beautiful present. Thank you!Copy !req
312. You're drunk, Manuel!Copy !req
313. No, no. Is beautiful.
Is my first one. Thank you.Copy !req
314. Now listen...Copy !req
315. Oh, poor Mr Fawlty. So sorry.Copy !req
316. Please, Mr Fawlty, I love you, I love you!Copy !req
317. You're so kind to me, you're so good to me!Copy !req
318. - I love you!
- Basil, I'm trying to read in here.Copy !req
319. Since I come here from Spain,Copy !req
320. leaving my five mothers,
and four aunties with...Copy !req
321. Et maintenant, un peu de café?Copy !req
322. Ah, oui, s'il vous plaît. Café au lait.Copy !req
323. - Café what?
- Au lait.Copy !req
324. Ah, olé. Quite.Copy !req
325. There we are. Voilà sommes nous.
Café pour vous.Copy !req
326. "Vous"? Pas pour toi?Copy !req
327. - I'll probably have one later.
- Very funny.Copy !req
328. - Good, good.
- Oh, Mr Fawlty, I forget.Copy !req
329. The window in my bedroom, I can't open it.
Could you?Copy !req
330. Oh, certainly, I'll pop up and fix it.
Certainly.Copy !req
331. For you, and this one...Copy !req
332. Thank you so much.Copy !req
333. Manuel?Copy !req
334. Oh, is terrible!Copy !req
335. - Go to the kitchen, Manuel.
- I cannot.Copy !req
336. - Go to the kitchen immediately.
- No, no, no.Copy !req
337. - Come on, Manuel.
- No, no, please, I die here. Please.Copy !req
338. Sorry about this.
He's been working awfully hard recently.Copy !req
339. - Can I help?
- No, I can manage. Thank you, Polly.Copy !req
340. Come on.Copy !req
341. Oh, no, please.Copy !req
342. - He's at it again.
- It's disgusting.Copy !req
343. - I beg your pardon?
- Nothing.Copy !req
344. - I thought you said something.
- No, no. Carry on.Copy !req
345. Get on with your meals.Copy !req
346. Thank you, Mr Lloyd.
And this is just for tonight, isn't it?Copy !req
347. - That's right.
- Will you be taking lunch?Copy !req
348. We won't have time, I'm afraid.
We've got this wedding at half past two.Copy !req
349. I wonder, could I make a call?Copy !req
350. Please, use that phone.Copy !req
351. Would it be possible to have
some sandwiches sent up to the room?Copy !req
352. Certainly. Here's the key.Copy !req
353. - I'll have your bags brought up in a moment.
- Thank you.Copy !req
354. - Would you like coffee with the sandwiches?
- Yes, please.Copy !req
355. - Mum!
- Hello, darling.Copy !req
356. - Hello, Alan.
- Hello, Rachel.Copy !req
357. - Where's Phillip? Did he have a good trip?
- Marvellous, he's upstairs.Copy !req
358. Oh. Could I speak to Mrs Bryce, please?Copy !req
359. I'll see you in a moment.Copy !req
360. I'm just going to finish my breakfast.Copy !req
361. - There they are.
- Where's the key?Copy !req
362. - He's already taken it up, Basil.
- All right.Copy !req
363. Anne? It's Rachel Lloyd here.
How's everything?Copy !req
364. - I'm going to take your cases upstairs.
- Yes, I know.Copy !req
365. Darling, it's beautiful, thank you.Copy !req
366. Sybil, Sybil.Copy !req
367. - Ah, hello.
- Hello.Copy !req
368. - It's Mrs Lloyd, isn't it?
- That's right.Copy !req
369. - How do you do? Fawlty, Basil Fawlty.
- How do you do?Copy !req
370. - Pretty well, can't complain.
- Good.Copy !req
371. We had this door knocked through recently.
Made a rather good job of it, don't you think?Copy !req
372. Yes, yes. It's very nice.Copy !req
373. Marvellous. Changed our lives, really.Copy !req
374. Used to have to do the 100 yards
through there and back again,Copy !req
375. but now we can just sort of open it and...Copy !req
376. It isn't working as
well as it usually does.Copy !req
377. You can go right in. Just like that.
Marvellous, really.Copy !req
378. Rather simple, but effective.Copy !req
379. Would you like to have a
try, see the kitchen...?Copy !req
380. I'd love to one day, but I think just now,
I'd better get upstairs.Copy !req
381. So, I'll see you later.Copy !req
382. You all right?Copy !req
383. Bit of trouble with the old leg,
I'd better sit down here for a moment.Copy !req
384. Bit of shrapnel, Korean War.
Still in there.Copy !req
385. - Can't they get it out?
- No, too deep, too deep.Copy !req
386. - This is the kitchen, as you can see.
- What?Copy !req
387. The kitchen, yes.
We had it plastered about five years ago.Copy !req
388. We've got a few cracks up there now.Copy !req
389. Oh! Don't worry about him.
He's just having a lie down.Copy !req
390. He's Spanish. From Barcelona.
You know, sort of siesta. But he's fine.Copy !req
391. It was his birthday yesterday.Copy !req
392. Anyway, we've got a few cracks up there now,
but nothing serious.Copy !req
393. As I say, it's not the Sistine Chapel,
but we're very happy with it.Copy !req
394. - Are you sure he's all right?
- Oh, yes. Yes, he's fine. Yes.Copy !req
395. - But he's groaning.
- Is he? Is he?Copy !req
396. - Can't you hear him?
- So he is.Copy !req
397. Listen, I just remembered,Copy !req
398. I left your cases just outside your room
by mistake.Copy !req
399. Would you mind if I went up
and put them inside now?Copy !req
400. - Unless there's anything else...?
- Don't you think perhaps we should open...?Copy !req
401. No, no, no! Don't worry about that.
My wife will deal with that. Sybil!Copy !req
402. So, if you'd like to...
Come on! Come along.Copy !req
403. Come in.Copy !req
404. Your sandwiches, Mr Lloyd.Copy !req
405. - Polly!
- Hello.Copy !req
406. - How are you?
- Fantastic.Copy !req
407. - It's great to see you.
- You're still gorgeous.Copy !req
408. Dear, dear, dear.Copy !req
409. Is anything the matter?Copy !req
410. - Mrs Lloyd, could I have a word with you?
- You are.Copy !req
411. - Well, there's something that I need to explain.
- Well?Copy !req
412. - Could we go in there?
- Oh, really, is it absolutely necessary?Copy !req
413. I'm afraid it is.Copy !req
414. Thank you.Copy !req
415. Mrs Lloyd, I'm so sorry,Copy !req
416. but this is...Copy !req
417. - a much nicer room than the one we've given you.
- What?Copy !req
418. I'm sorry, I was just saying that this room
is so much nicer than yours,Copy !req
419. and I wanted to bring you in here now,
and show it to you and apologise,Copy !req
420. in case you found out about it later,
and got rather cross.Copy !req
421. Now the point is... What is...Copy !req
422. The point is, if it turns out
you don't like that room,Copy !req
423. then we can always move you in here,Copy !req
424. but I don't think it's worth doing
until you've definitely decidedCopy !req
425. that you don't like that
one as much as this one,Copy !req
426. and then we could sort
of sit down around table,Copy !req
427. sort of discuss it,
kind of chew it over, and...Copy !req
428. And it'd be a piece of cake.Copy !req
429. Bob's your uncle. Okay?Copy !req
430. Fine.Copy !req
431. Oh, sorry. Sorry.Copy !req
432. Thank you.Copy !req
433. Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.
I wondered where you were, darling.Copy !req
434. Darling? Darling, are you all right?Copy !req
435. This room is exactly the same
as the one that he just...Copy !req
436. Oh, Jean, it's absolutely smashing!Copy !req
437. - A bit tight across the bust.
- Oh, I love it.Copy !req
438. Lower, lower.Copy !req
439. - Are you sure?
- Can I pick it up tonight?Copy !req
440. Lower, low... That's it, that's it.Copy !req
441. That is amazing! That is amazing!Copy !req
442. Hey, baby,
have you been taking lessons?Copy !req
443. So, I'll see you tonight, huh?Copy !req
444. For ten quid, that's absolutely fantastic.Copy !req
445. Oh.Copy !req
446. No, no, no. No, no, no.Copy !req
447. No!Copy !req
448. Polly, I want to see you at reception
in one minute in your hat and coat.Copy !req
449. I'm sorry?Copy !req
450. I want to see you at reception
in one minute in your hat and coat!Copy !req
451. - Will they fit you?
- No.Copy !req
452. What? You, you!Copy !req
453. - They're going.
- What?Copy !req
454. They're going.Copy !req
455. I'm sorry, but you'll have to go.
We've made a mistake, all these rooms are taken.Copy !req
456. She was sitting on him.Copy !req
457. Five minutes later, I found him lying
on the floor underneath the waiter.Copy !req
458. I'm sorry, but... Ah, there you are.
Got together, have you?Copy !req
459. Yes, yes. I might have guessed, mightn't I?Copy !req
460. Yes, I see. Of course, we're a bit
behind the times down here in Torquay.Copy !req
461. Well, I'm sorry, but you'll have to go.Copy !req
462. We made a mistake. All these rooms are taken.
I'm so sorry.Copy !req
463. Well, actually, I'm not sorry.
I mean, you come in here, just like that,Copy !req
464. and, well, to be perfectly blunt,
you have a very good time at our expense. Hmm?Copy !req
465. I mean, I think you know what I mean. Hmm?Copy !req
466. I mean you have had
a very, very good time, haven't you?Copy !req
467. Well, not here you don't, oh, no!
Thank you, and good night!Copy !req
468. Well, that's taken care of that!Copy !req
469. Basil, what is going on?
Why did you tell Polly to get her hat and coat?Copy !req
470. Because she's going,
along with the Lloyds and that pair you let in.Copy !req
471. Never seen anything like
it in my life. My God!Copy !req
472. Basil, what are you on about?
Why are they leaving?Copy !req
473. I'll tell you exactly why they're leaving.Copy !req
474. First of all, I go up there and I find
that girl in his arms, in Lloyd's arms.Copy !req
475. - Five minutes later, Polly's in there.
- What girl?Copy !req
476. - That girl.
- She's his daughter.Copy !req
477. What?Copy !req
478. She's Mr Lloyd's stepdaughter.
They're all one family.Copy !req
479. What about Polly?Copy !req
480. She was at school with Jean.
She's known them all for years.Copy !req
481. - For years, huh?
- For years.Copy !req
482. What have I done?Copy !req
483. - What have you done?
- I told them to leave.Copy !req
484. - You've told them to leave?
- How was I supposed to know?Copy !req
485. Why didn't you tell me, you half-wit?
Why didn't they tell me?Copy !req
486. - You can't blame me for this!
- Go and tell them they can stay.Copy !req
487. - Why don't you go tell them?
- I didn't tell them to go.Copy !req
488. - Oh, no, I suppose it's all my fault, isn't it?
- Go and tell them. Now!Copy !req
489. - No, I won't.
- You will.Copy !req
490. - No, no, I won't.
- Oh, yes, you will.Copy !req
491. Oh, yes, I will! Right. That's right,
leave it to me, let me get you out of it.Copy !req
492. That's all I'm good for, isn't it?Copy !req
493. "Basil Fawlty Limited, other people's messes
cleared up by appointment to my wife, Sybil."Copy !req
494. I mean, what am I going to say?Copy !req
495. Tell them you made a mistake.Copy !req
496. Oh, brilliant! Brilliant.
Is that what made Britain great?Copy !req
497. I'm so sorry, I made a mistake.Copy !req
498. What have you got for brains? Sponge cake?Copy !req
499. Very nice, very nice.
Take them off, get back to work.Copy !req
500. I'm so sorry. I made a mistake.Copy !req
501. I'm so sorry. I made a mistake.Copy !req
502. I'm so sorry. I made a mistake.Copy !req
503. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry,
but my wife has made a mistake.Copy !req
504. I don't know how she did it, but she did.Copy !req
505. She's made a complete pudding
of the whole thing, as usual.Copy !req
506. It'll be perfectly all right for you to stay,
I've sorted it all out.Copy !req
507. I'm frightfully sorry,
but you know what women are like.Copy !req
508. They've got one brain
between the lot of them,Copy !req
509. not all of them, but some of them have,
including my wife.Copy !req
510. So please, do stay, and see you all later on.
Thank you so much.Copy !req
511. I was just saying please do stay,
my wife made a most dreadful mistake.Copy !req
512. Yes, I think she probably did.Copy !req
513. - Evening, Fawlty.
- Evening, Major.Copy !req
514. - Papers arrived yet?
- Oh, yes.Copy !req
515. Sorry they're so late. Didn't get here till 5:00.
Have to have a word with them again.Copy !req
516. Where's your lady wife this evening?Copy !req
517. She's spending the night at Audrey's.Copy !req
518. George has walked out on her again,
so she's in the usual state.Copy !req
519. Still, it must have upset her a bit.Copy !req
520. Yes, but she makes
such a song and dance about it.Copy !req
521. - You don't like Audrey very much, do you?
- Dreadful woman, dreadful.Copy !req
522. I think it's very decent of your wifeCopy !req
523. to go around there,
and to listen to all that rubbish.Copy !req
524. - Couldn't do without it, Major.
- She's a fine woman, Mrs Fawlty.Copy !req
525. No, no. I wouldn't say that.Copy !req
526. No, nor would I.Copy !req
527. - Good night, Fawlty.
- Good night, Major.Copy !req
528. - Ah, Mr Fawlty.
- Good evening. Sorry.Copy !req
529. No, no, don't switch it off. I love Chopin.Copy !req
530. Really? Ah, there's your key.Copy !req
531. - Ah, it's so romantic.
- Yes, exactly.Copy !req
532. - Are you romantic, Mr Fawlty?
- Good God, no.Copy !req
533. Well, I think you are.Copy !req
534. I think beneath that English exteriorCopy !req
535. throbs a passion that would make
Lord Byron look like a tobacconist.Copy !req
536. No way. No, sorry.Copy !req
537. Oh, don't look so bashful.Copy !req
538. I won't try and sit on you again.Copy !req
539. And where is your charming
wife this evening?Copy !req
540. She's spending the night with a friend.Copy !req
541. A girl, a lady friend.Copy !req
542. - When the cat's away, eh?
- Oh, hardly. Too much to do.Copy !req
543. - Well, good night.
- Bonne nuit. Oh, Mr Fawlty?Copy !req
544. - Yes?
- Did you fix my window?Copy !req
545. - Oh. Damn.
- If you could, please? It's so hot tonight.Copy !req
546. Yes. Yes, okay. Right.Copy !req
547. - Here we are.
- You're so strong.Copy !req
548. Well, I'm sure you are, too,
if you put your mind to it.Copy !req
549. Your wife shouldn't leave
you with strange women.Copy !req
550. Well, I wouldn't call you that strange.Copy !req
551. - Mr Fawlty, you're so charming.
- Only a little.Copy !req
552. - Oh, well...
- Do you feel that breeze? Isn't it wonderful?Copy !req
553. - Yes, it's nice, isn't it?
- I shall sleep au naturel tonight.Copy !req
554. - Good idea, right.
- Only it's not so much fun on your own.Copy !req
555. Oh, well. One could always pretend.
Ooh! Twinge from the old leg.Copy !req
556. Better go and lie down. Good night.Copy !req
557. - Good night.
- Damn shrapnel.Copy !req
558. - Who is it?
- Mr Fawlty?Copy !req
559. - Hello.
- I'm so sorry, but I have to leave early tomorrow.Copy !req
560. - Could I have a call at 7:00, please?
- Marvellous. Is that all? Absolutely. 7:00.Copy !req
561. Please don't go yet.Copy !req
562. - I think you've forgotten something.
- Did I? Damn.Copy !req
563. Your recorder.Copy !req
564. Oh, thank you.Copy !req
565. - You left it in my room.
- Thank you so much.Copy !req
566. You left it in my room so you could
come and get it, didn't you?Copy !req
567. I'm not having you knocking on my door
in the middle of the night.Copy !req
568. - I should cocoa!
- You naughty man.Copy !req
569. - Good night.
- Good night.Copy !req
570. Look, go to your room.
I won't ask you again.Copy !req
571. - Open the door.
- Listen, I can't.Copy !req
572. My wife has just got back unexpectedly.
She's in the bathroom.Copy !req
573. What, dear?Copy !req
574. I think you'll find it on the second shelf,
Sybil darling.Copy !req
575. - Let me in, Basil.
- Look, you'll meet somebody else sooner or later.Copy !req
576. - Basil!
- Try to control yourself.Copy !req
577. - Where do you think you are, Paris?
- Let me in!Copy !req
578. Shut up, will you, you silly tart?Copy !req
579. Go away. My wife will hear us.Copy !req
580. This is your wife.Copy !req
581. Oh, what a terrible dream!Copy !req
582. - There's a burglar downstairs.
- George got back, did he?Copy !req
583. - There's a burglar downstairs!
- What?Copy !req
584. A burglar. Quick!Copy !req
585. Manuel?Copy !req
586. Good night.Copy !req
587. We've been to a wedding.Copy !req