1. Sorry, I forgot my key.Copy !req
2. Oh, thanks.Copy !req
3. Hello, Fawlty Towers.Copy !req
4. Yes.Copy !req
5. Yes.Copy !req
6. No, this afternoon, that would be fine.Copy !req
7. No, it's 16 Elwood Avenue.Copy !req
8. 16, that's it. Thank you.Copy !req
9. I'll just put these outside, shall I, dear?Copy !req
10. Polly, this is where
we'll be if you need us.Copy !req
11. There's the number.Copy !req
12. If Mr Stubbs wants to know anything,Copy !req
13. just ring, but don't if you don't have to.Copy !req
14. It's the first weekend we've had off
since Audrey had her hysterectomy.Copy !req
15. Don't worry, I know what they've got to do.Copy !req
16. Somebody called about a garden gnome.Copy !req
17. - Oh, yes.
- It's in.Copy !req
18. They're going to deliver it this afternoon.Copy !req
19. Oh, good. Erm, golf shoes.Copy !req
20. Good morning, Major.Copy !req
21. Very well, thank you.Copy !req
22. Does everyone know about dinner tonight?Copy !req
23. I think so.Copy !req
24. But you'll be able to
manage breakfast tomorrow?Copy !req
25. It's just the ladies and the Major.Copy !req
26. Where are those shoes?Copy !req
27. "One moment, please. I will het your vill."Copy !req
28. Manuel, "Get your bill."Copy !req
29. I will het your bill.Copy !req
30. - Get. Get. Ga, ga.
- Get. Get. Ga, ga.Copy !req
31. - That's it.
- I will get your vill.Copy !req
32. Polly... Oh, Manuel,
put those in the cases.Copy !req
33. Ah, Manuel...Copy !req
34. "One moment, please. I will get your bill."Copy !req
35. What?Copy !req
36. "I will get your bill," sí?Copy !req
37. What are you talking about?Copy !req
38. Listen. No, please.Copy !req
39. "Today we have veef, beal or sothages."Copy !req
40. - Sotha-what?
- Bangers.Copy !req
41. - Shut up.
- Eh?Copy !req
42. - Shut up.
- Oh, sí, sí, shut up.Copy !req
43. - Yes, I understand.
- Well, will you please shut up?Copy !req
44. - Sí, sí, I shut up.
- Now, while we're away...Copy !req
45. - Shut up.
- Shut up!Copy !req
46. While we're away, gone,Copy !req
47. clean the windows.Copy !req
48. Oh, look. Cuando nosotros somos away...Copy !req
49. What's "away" in Spanish?Copy !req
50. You know, "away". "Away!"Copy !req
51. - Oh, sí, sí.
- No, not you.Copy !req
52. While we're away, clean the windows.Copy !req
53. - Green?
- No, no. Look.Copy !req
54. Clean the windows.Copy !req
55. - Clean the windows.
- Clean.Copy !req
56. - Morning, Fawlty.
- Morning, Major.Copy !req
57. See? Clean the windows.Copy !req
58. Comprendo. Comprendo.Copy !req
59. Oh, Mr Fawlty.Copy !req
60. Good morning, ladies.Copy !req
61. Ursula and I think you're
a very naughty boy.Copy !req
62. - Don't we, Ursula?
- Oh, God.Copy !req
63. Oh, really?Copy !req
64. Going away for the weekend,
and leaving us all alone.Copy !req
65. Tsk, tsk, tsk.Copy !req
66. But we know where you're going.Copy !req
67. The cat's out of the bag.Copy !req
68. - You and your wife.
- It's only Paignton.Copy !req
69. Have a lovely time. It'll do you good.Copy !req
70. You need to get away from things.Copy !req
71. Well, we're going together.Copy !req
72. Don't you worry about us.Copy !req
73. Oh, all right.Copy !req
74. You know the men are coming
to do some work here?Copy !req
75. - Yes.
- So you have to go to GleneaglesCopy !req
76. for your din-dins tonight.Copy !req
77. And Polly will be in charge,
if you need anything.Copy !req
78. Have a lovely weekend.Copy !req
79. Don't do anything we wouldn't do.Copy !req
80. Just a little breathing, surely.Copy !req
81. I must buzz off now.Copy !req
82. - "Buzz"?
- Yes, you know,Copy !req
83. - babbity-bumble.
- Oh, buzz-buzz-buzz...Copy !req
84. Polly, I have asked you, please,
not to leave your strange drawings lying around.Copy !req
85. What is this supposed to be?Copy !req
86. It's just a sketch.Copy !req
87. What are you trying to do?
This is a junkyard, isn't it?Copy !req
88. - Can I have it?
- Why's it got a collar and tie under it?Copy !req
89. - It's not finished.
- It's very good,Copy !req
90. old soup tins, broken-down car,Copy !req
91. dustbins, mattresses, hoovers,Copy !req
92. and a nice smart collar and tie underneath.Copy !req
93. I mean, what's it supposed to be?Copy !req
94. It's not important. Can I have it back?Copy !req
95. It's irritating.
Do you ever sell any of those?Copy !req
96. I sell a few portraits now and
again, thank you.Copy !req
97. I haven't much hope for this one.Copy !req
98. Would you give me that stapler?Copy !req
99. What is the point of something like that?Copy !req
100. - No point.
- No point?Copy !req
101. What's the point in being alive?Copy !req
102. Beats me. We're stuck with it, I suppose.Copy !req
103. Would you give me the stapler?Copy !req
104. - If you don't go on at me.
- The stapler.Copy !req
105. Sorry.Copy !req
106. What's the matter with you today?Copy !req
107. I didn't get much sleep last night.Copy !req
108. We are leaving you in charge.Copy !req
109. I didn't do it to spite you, I promise.Copy !req
110. Good, you won't feel so tired, then.Copy !req
111. Fawlty Towers.Copy !req
112. - Basil.
- Who is it?Copy !req
113. It's Mr O'Reilly.Copy !req
114. That's odd.
It must be about the garden wall.Copy !req
115. Hello, O'Reilly?Copy !req
116. When are you coming to
finish our garden wall?Copy !req
117. We are tired of having
that pile of bricks blocking...Copy !req
118. I told you not to call.Copy !req
119. You know my wife thinks
Stubbs is doing the doors.Copy !req
120. What time will they be here, then?Copy !req
121. All right, 4:00. If there are any problems,
tell your men to get Polly to call me.Copy !req
122. Do you understand?Copy !req
123. Next week's definite, is it?Copy !req
124. That will be nice, won't it?Copy !req
125. We've waited for that wall
about as long as Hadrian.Copy !req
126. No, Hadrian. The emperor Hadrian.Copy !req
127. It doesn't matter. I'll explain next week.Copy !req
128. Thank you so much. Goodbye.Copy !req
129. You don't really believe all that?Copy !req
130. We've been waiting four months.
Why should he do it now?Copy !req
131. - I think he will this time.
- If you had used Stubbs...Copy !req
132. - We'd have had a huge bill.
- You get what you pay for.Copy !req
133. O'Reilly's a cut-price, cock-up artist.Copy !req
134. - Oh, Sybil.
- With Stubbs you may pay a little more...Copy !req
135. - A little more?
- Yes, but he does a really professional job,Copy !req
136. and he does it when he says he will.Copy !req
137. You'll see.Copy !req
138. When's he coming?Copy !req
139. About 4:00, I think.Copy !req
140. You're going to wear that jacket?Copy !req
141. Yes, I am, thank you, dear.Copy !req
142. You just haven't a clue, have you?Copy !req
143. You wouldn't understand. It's called style.Copy !req
144. Yoo-hoo! They're here.Copy !req
145. How fabulous.Copy !req
146. Do try to be agreeable this weekend.Copy !req
147. Have I got everything?Copy !req
148. Handbag, knuckle dusters, flick knife.Copy !req
149. Come on, Basil, don't hang about.Copy !req
150. I'm just coming, dear.Copy !req
151. Quick, Polly.Copy !req
152. The men will be here at 4:00.
You know what they're doing?Copy !req
153. They're putting a door
through to the kitchen.Copy !req
154. At the bottom of the stairs, and...Copy !req
155. - And?
- And blocking the drawing room door.Copy !req
156. - Blocking it?
- So we can have privacy away from the plebs.Copy !req
157. Don't you take anything in?Copy !req
158. Where's my cap? One other thing,
when the men come, they won't be Stubbs's,Copy !req
159. they'll be O'Reilly's. Where is it?Copy !req
160. - What? O'Reilly?
- Yes!Copy !req
161. - Does Mrs Fawlty know?
- I wouldn't mention it.Copy !req
162. - They don't quite hit it off.
- But you know...Copy !req
163. I had to change it!
Stubbs has a virus, or something.Copy !req
164. She said you were never using him again.
I don't...Copy !req
165. He's sending his best men. All you have to
do is take a quick look when they finish.Copy !req
166. Any problems, call me. Have a nice weekend.Copy !req
167. If she asks me, I'll tell her.Copy !req
168. Thank you so much.Copy !req
169. I've always been a great
admirer of loyalty.Copy !req
170. I forget this!Copy !req
171. It doesn't matter, Manuel. De nada.Copy !req
172. Oh.Copy !req
173. Oh, is Mr Fawlty.Copy !req
174. Windows, por favor.Copy !req
175. Oh, Polly, finish. I tired.Copy !req
176. That's wonderful. Hold it a second.Copy !req
177. Qué?Copy !req
178. Quiero subir para dormir.Copy !req
179. No, speak me English. Is good I learn.Copy !req
180. I want to go upstairs in a moment.Copy !req
181. Er, qué?Copy !req
182. I go upstairs.Copy !req
183. Ah, sí. Is easy.Copy !req
184. - For a little sleep.
- Is difficult.Copy !req
185. For siesta.Copy !req
186. - Siesta? Little sleep?
- Yes.Copy !req
187. Ah, same in Spanish.Copy !req
188. When O'Reilly's men come, you must wake me.Copy !req
189. When Orelly please men... Oh, sí.Copy !req
190. Manuel, listen. When men come here,Copy !req
191. - Señor O'Reilly...
- Ah, when men come?Copy !req
192. You come upstairs and wake me up.Copy !req
193. Despiérteme.Copy !req
194. Sí. When men come,
I subiré a tu cuarto a despertarte.Copy !req
195. Antes que empiecen a trabajar aquí.Copy !req
196. - Sí?
- Comprendo.Copy !req
197. - Finished.
- Eh? Oh. Good.Copy !req
198. Manuel!Copy !req
199. Manuel Towers. How are you?Copy !req
200. Is nice today? Good.Copy !req
201. Goodbye.Copy !req
202. Oh, good day. Hello. How are you?Copy !req
203. - Number 16.
- Sí, 16.Copy !req
204. - But no eat.
- What?Copy !req
205. 16 is free, but not possible...Copy !req
206. Is this number 16?Copy !req
207. No, no. This lobby. 16 upstairs, on right.Copy !req
208. Who's in charge here?Copy !req
209. No, charge later. After sleep.Copy !req
210. Where's the boss?Copy !req
211. Boss is...Copy !req
212. Oh. I boss.Copy !req
213. No, no. Where's the real boss?Copy !req
214. Qué?Copy !req
215. The generalísimo.Copy !req
216. In Madrid.Copy !req
217. Look, just sign this, will you?Copy !req
218. Sí, sí.Copy !req
219. - 16.
- What?Copy !req
220. - You want room 16?
- I don't want a room, mate.Copy !req
221. I'm just leaving him.Copy !req
222. You want room 16 for him?Copy !req
223. Yeah. With a bath, you dago twit.Copy !req
224. You mad. You pay for room first.Copy !req
225. He crazy. For room 16. No room 16.Copy !req
226. No pay, no room 16.Copy !req
227. Fawlty Towers, how are you? Nice day.Copy !req
228. What? No, no. He not here.Copy !req
229. He not here. Very sorry. Goodbye.Copy !req
230. Ah.Copy !req
231. - Hello, men.
- Good day, now.Copy !req
232. You are men.Copy !req
233. You what?Copy !req
234. - You are men.
- Are you trying to be funny?Copy !req
235. Huh?Copy !req
236. - I said, you trying to be funny?
- Not here, spud.Copy !req
237. - You are men with Orelly.
- What?Copy !req
238. - You Orelly men.
- What does that mean?Copy !req
239. - You Orelly.
- You watch it!Copy !req
240. - Where Orelly?
- What's he going on about?Copy !req
241. He means O'Reilly.Copy !req
242. Oh!Copy !req
243. That's right, yes. We are Orelly men.Copy !req
244. Thick as a plank.Copy !req
245. Wait here, please. I go, you wait.Copy !req
246. You wait, too, please.Copy !req
247. Polly? Polly?Copy !req
248. Hello, Fawlty Towers.
How are you? Is nice day.Copy !req
249. You again. I say he not here.Copy !req
250. He not here. Very, very sorry. Goodbye.Copy !req
251. Wicked.Copy !req
252. You men know what to do?Copy !req
253. I think so. This is the dining room.Copy !req
254. You are certain you know?Copy !req
255. It looks straightforward.
We've got to block this off.Copy !req
256. Yes, yes, yes!Copy !req
257. Is you again? Now, listen, he not here.
How many times?Copy !req
258. Where are your ears,
you great, big half-wit?Copy !req
259. He no here! Listen!Copy !req
260. Now you understand? He...Copy !req
261. Oh! Oh, Mr Fawlty!Copy !req
262. I very sorry. Very sorry. Is you!Copy !req
263. Yes, is me, Mr Fawlty.Copy !req
264. Polly? No, no, she very busy.Copy !req
265. Men? Yes, men are here.Copy !req
266. Men are work... You work, men.Copy !req
267. Yes.Copy !req
268. What? Ah, yes.Copy !req
269. Please, which one is man with beard?Copy !req
270. Sí, sí. Hid... Ag... Ang... Sí, comprendo.Copy !req
271. Sí. One moment, please.Copy !req
272. You areCopy !req
273. a hideous orang-utang.Copy !req
274. Well done, Manuel,
thank you very much.Copy !req
275. Polly?Copy !req
276. Polly?Copy !req
277. Polly?Copy !req
278. Polly!Copy !req
279. Manuel!Copy !req
280. Polly, what have you done with my hotel?Copy !req
281. Polly, what have you done to my hotel?Copy !req
282. - What?
- Look.Copy !req
283. - Oh, it's nice.
- I like it there...Copy !req
284. Ouch! You're hurting me!Copy !req
285. What have you done with
my dining room door?Copy !req
286. - Where is it?
- I don't know.Copy !req
287. Why don't you know? I left you in charge!Copy !req
288. - I fell asleep.
- You fell asleep?Copy !req
289. It's not my fault!Copy !req
290. You fell asleep, and it's not your fault?Copy !req
291. - He forgot to wake me.
- Who forgot to wake you?Copy !req
292. - It is my fault.
- Manuel! I knew it!Copy !req
293. - Manuel!
- Don't blame him!Copy !req
294. - Why not?
- It's not really his fault.Copy !req
295. Whose fault is it, you cloth-eared bint,
Denis Compton's?Copy !req
296. Well, you hired O'Reilly, didn't you?Copy !req
297. We warned you. Who else would do this?Copy !req
298. - I beg your pardon?
- You hired O'Reilly.Copy !req
299. I see. It's my fault? Oh, of course.Copy !req
300. I was thinking it was your fault
because you'd been left in charge,Copy !req
301. or Manuel's for not waking you,
and all the time, it was my fault.Copy !req
302. It's so obvious, I've seen the light.Copy !req
303. I must be punished, mustn't I?Copy !req
304. You're a naughty boy, Fawlty.Copy !req
305. Don't do it again. What am I gonna do?Copy !req
306. She's going to be back at lunchtime!Copy !req
307. Now, wait...Copy !req
308. - I'm a dead man! Do you realise?
- Easy.Copy !req
309. You're dead, too! We're all dead!Copy !req
310. - Don't panic!
- What else is there to do?Copy !req
311. We'll call O'Reilly.Copy !req
312. He made this mess, he can clear it up.Copy !req
313. Just pull yourself together!Copy !req
314. Come on!Copy !req
315. Again!Copy !req
316. Harder!Copy !req
317. Right! I'll call O'Reilly.Copy !req
318. What is this? What is this doing here?Copy !req
319. What is going on here?Copy !req
320. Your wife ordered it. Call O'Reilly.Copy !req
321. That golfing puff adder?
What does she want...Copy !req
322. - Call O'Reilly!
- What?Copy !req
323. - Shall I call him?
- No, I'll do it.Copy !req
324. I'll call him. See if the roof is still on.Copy !req
325. - What are you doing?
- Stay there.Copy !req
326. - You can't do that now.
- Hold it, hold it.Copy !req
327. See if they've started breakfast...Copy !req
328. now!Copy !req
329. Ah, hello, Mr O'Reilly.Copy !req
330. How are you this morning?Copy !req
331. Oh, good, good.
No rare diseases or anything?Copy !req
332. I do beg your pardon.
Basil Fawlty, you remember?Copy !req
333. The poor sod you do jobs for?Copy !req
334. How are things your end?Copy !req
335. Good.Copy !req
336. Good, good, good.Copy !req
337. How would you like to
hear about things my end?Copy !req
338. Up to your usual standard,
I think I could say,Copy !req
339. a few holes in the floor,Copy !req
340. the odd door missing,
but nothing you can't be sued for.Copy !req
341. Good morning.Copy !req
342. I beg your pardon?Copy !req
343. - Good morning.
- One moment, please.Copy !req
344. Did you say, "Good morning"?Copy !req
345. - Sí.
- I see.Copy !req
346. What are you going to do now?Copy !req
347. - Qué?
- What you do now?Copy !req
348. I serve breakfast.Copy !req
349. Let's see you, then.Copy !req
350. Sí.Copy !req
351. - Where is door?
- A-ha.Copy !req
352. Door is gone.Copy !req
353. Door was here!Copy !req
354. Where? Here? Or here? Or here?Copy !req
355. - Morning, Fawlty.
- Good morning, Major.Copy !req
356. I'm so sorry, I'm afraid the dining
room door seems to have disappeared.Copy !req
357. Oh, yes, so it has. It used to be there.Copy !req
358. I was silly enough to leave the hotel
for a few minutes...Copy !req
359. These things happen, you know?Copy !req
360. I wonder where it's got to.Copy !req
361. Don't worry, it's bound to turn up.Copy !req
362. Have the newspapers arrived yet?Copy !req
363. Not yet, Major.
Manuel, would you please show the MajorCopy !req
364. how to get into the dining
room via the kitchen?Copy !req
365. Is difficult.Copy !req
366. Major, will you please show Manuel how to
get into the dining room via the kitchen?Copy !req
367. Yes, of course. Come here. Come on.Copy !req
368. Now, look here, O'Reilly,
I want my dining room door put backCopy !req
369. and this other one taken away by 1:00,Copy !req
370. do you understand?Copy !req
371. No, I don't want to debate about it.Copy !req
372. If you're not over here in 20 minutes
with my door,Copy !req
373. I shall come over there and insert
a large garden gnome in you. Good day.Copy !req
374. I'm sorry,
but my men won't work on a Sunday.Copy !req
375. That's the way it is.Copy !req
376. There's nothing I can do about it.Copy !req
377. How long is it going to take you?Copy !req
378. I'm working as fast as I can.Copy !req
379. It had better be fast enough.
She's here in four hours.Copy !req
380. - Tea up.
- What?Copy !req
381. - I brewed a cup for him.
- Oh, lovely.Copy !req
382. He hasn't got time to drink that now.Copy !req
383. - Biscuit?
- These look good.Copy !req
384. Give them to me. Will you get on with it?Copy !req
385. Look, this lot here, an hour and a half.Copy !req
386. This one easy, lick of
paint, lick of paint,Copy !req
387. lick of paint, one hour.Copy !req
388. - What time is it now?
- Ten to nine.Copy !req
389. All right, ten to nine and two and a half
hours is plenty of time. Give us a biscuit.Copy !req
390. Not until you've done the door.
Polly, take them away.Copy !req
391. You can have that
when you've finished the door, too.Copy !req
392. The trouble with you is
that you worry too much.Copy !req
393. Keep it up like this,
you'll have a stroke before you're 50.Copy !req
394. - Stone dead, you'll be.
- Suits me.Copy !req
395. That's a dreadful thing to say.Copy !req
396. Not at all. I'll get a bit of peace.Copy !req
397. Don't be so morbid. The good Lord made
the world so we could all enjoy ourselves.Copy !req
398. My wife enjoys herself, I worry.Copy !req
399. If the good Lord meant us to worryCopy !req
400. he would have given us
things to worry about.Copy !req
401. He has! My wife!Copy !req
402. She will be back here in four hours,Copy !req
403. and she can kill a man at ten paces
with one blow of her tongue.Copy !req
404. How am I supposed not to worry?Copy !req
405. Just remember,Copy !req
406. there's always someone
worse off than yourself.Copy !req
407. Is there? I'd like to meet him.
I could do with a laugh.Copy !req
408. You'll just have to worry
for the both of us.Copy !req
409. I'm telling you, if the good Lord...Copy !req
410. Is mentioned once more,Copy !req
411. I shall move you closer to him.Copy !req
412. Now, please!Copy !req
413. Mr Fawlty, she's here.Copy !req
414. - What?
- She's here.Copy !req
415. Oh, God.Copy !req
416. Shan't be a moment, I'll just get them.Copy !req
417. Quick! Hide! Hide!Copy !req
418. I'll try to get rid of her. Hide!Copy !req
419. - Where?
- In there.Copy !req
420. I'll try and stall her. God help me.Copy !req
421. Hello, Sybil.Copy !req
422. Hello, Basil.Copy !req
423. You finished your golf early.Copy !req
424. We haven't started yet.Copy !req
425. - Where are you going?
- Up these steps.Copy !req
426. Oh, don't. It's such a lovely day.Copy !req
427. Let's go for a walk.
We haven't done that for years.Copy !req
428. I nearly forgot.
You're not going to believe this.Copy !req
429. Let me show you.Copy !req
430. Yeah. Look at that.Copy !req
431. That's Stubbs for you.Copy !req
432. Mind you, I warned you, but still,
a reputable builder like that. Tsk, tsk, tsk.Copy !req
433. Stubbs?Copy !req
434. Wicked. Pfft.Copy !req
435. - Where's O'Reilly?
- Criminal.Copy !req
436. Tsk. Pfff.Copy !req
437. Hmm?Copy !req
438. Where's O'Reilly?Copy !req
439. - O'Reilly?
- Yes, O'Reilly.Copy !req
440. Sybil, you never cease to amaze...Copy !req
441. Just because of this, you automatically
assume it has to be O'Reilly.Copy !req
442. You just assume that I
have been lying all along.Copy !req
443. Right? I mean, why O'Reilly?Copy !req
444. Because his van's outside.Copy !req
445. Well, he's here now.
Of course he's here now.Copy !req
446. He's here to clear up this mess
your Stubbs has made!Copy !req
447. That's why his van's outside!Copy !req
448. On a Sunday. That's what I call service.Copy !req
449. - I agree.
- You do?Copy !req
450. Yes, but if Stubbs has made this mess then
I think they should come and clear it up.Copy !req
451. But there's no point now
that O'Reilly's here.Copy !req
452. We want it done straightaway.Copy !req
453. There's no point in paying O'Reilly
when Stubbs would have to do it for free.Copy !req
454. - I'll call him now.
- He won't be there on Sunday.Copy !req
455. Then I'll call him at home.Copy !req
456. Ooh! Ah! Ah!Copy !req
457. Getting a bit of gyp from
the old leg this morning.Copy !req
458. Not to worry.Copy !req
459. I've called him at home,
and he's not there.Copy !req
460. When did you call him?Copy !req
461. First thing. Before I called O'Reilly.Copy !req
462. Wasn't that early for a Sunday?Copy !req
463. I called him just before you arrived.
There's nobody there.Copy !req
464. Yes, hello. Fawlty Towers. Yes?Copy !req
465. Who?Copy !req
466. I think you'd better
have a word with my wife.Copy !req
467. It's somebody from Mr Stubbs, dear.Copy !req
468. Hello, Sybil Fawlty.Copy !req
469. Well, it is a complete mess.Copy !req
470. Could you come straight
round and put it right?Copy !req
471. Would you like to deal with this, Basil?Copy !req
472. You see, we couldn't possibly manage itCopy !req
473. for at least three weeks.Copy !req
474. But if you want it done straightaway,Copy !req
475. I suggest you try someone like...Copy !req
476. Oh, what's his name? It's, er...Copy !req
477. O'Reilly?Copy !req
478. Bravo, Polly, well done.Copy !req
479. Listen, where are you speaking from?Copy !req
480. She's in here with me, Basil.Copy !req
481. - This isn't his fault.
- It isn't?Copy !req
482. I should have told you.Copy !req
483. Is that somebody there trying to pretend
they're from Mr Stubbs's company?Copy !req
484. What game are you playing?Copy !req
485. I mean, really! Really!Copy !req
486. Would you believe what some people will do?Copy !req
487. I'm going to make you regret this
for the rest of your life.Copy !req
488. Fair enough,
but Stubbs is partly to blame...Copy !req
489. - Basil!
- Yes, dear?Copy !req
490. Don't you dare give me any more
of those pathetic lies.Copy !req
491. Oh, right.Copy !req
492. What do you take me for?Copy !req
493. Did you really think
that I would believe this shamblesCopy !req
494. is the work of professional builders?Copy !req
495. People who do it for a living?Copy !req
496. No, not really.Copy !req
497. Why did I trust you?Copy !req
498. Why did I let you make the arrangements?Copy !req
499. I could have seen what was
going to happen. Why did I do it?Copy !req
500. We all make mistakes, dear.Copy !req
501. I'm sick to death of you.
You never learn, do you?Copy !req
502. You never, ever learn.Copy !req
503. We have used O'Reilly three times in the last
year and each time it has been a fiasco!Copy !req
504. That wall out there is still not done!Copy !req
505. You got him in to change
a washer in NovemberCopy !req
506. and we didn't have any running water
for two weeks!Copy !req
507. He's not really a plumber.Copy !req
508. Then why did you hire him?Copy !req
509. - Because he's cheap.
- I wouldn't call him cheap.Copy !req
510. What would you call him, then?Copy !req
511. Well, cheapish.Copy !req
512. The reason he's cheapish
is he's no bloody good!Copy !req
513. Oh, you do exaggerate. He's not brilliant.Copy !req
514. Not brilliant? He belongs in a zoo!Copy !req
515. You never give anyone
the benefit of the doubt.Copy !req
516. He's shoddy, he doesn't care,
he's a liar, he's incompetent, he's lazy.Copy !req
517. He's nothing but a
half-witted, thick Irish joke!Copy !req
518. Hello, O'Reilly.
We were just talking about you.Copy !req
519. Then we got on to another
Irish builder we used to know.Copy !req
520. God, he was awful!Copy !req
521. I was talking about you, Mr O'Reilly.Copy !req
522. Were you, dear?
I thought you were talking...Copy !req
523. Come, come, Mrs Fawlty.Copy !req
524. I'm coming.Copy !req
525. Dear me, what have I done now?Copy !req
526. That and that.Copy !req
527. Not to worry. I'm putting it right.Copy !req
528. Not to worry?Copy !req
529. You've heard of the genius of the lamp?
That's me.Copy !req
530. You think I'm joking, don't you?Copy !req
531. Oh, don't smile.Copy !req
532. Why are you smiling, Mr O'Reilly?Copy !req
533. To be perfectly honest,
I like a woman with spirit.Copy !req
534. Oh, do you? Is that what you like?Copy !req
535. I do. I do.Copy !req
536. Oh, good.Copy !req
537. Now, Sybil, that's enough.Copy !req
538. Come on, then. Give us a smile.Copy !req
539. I have seen more intelligent creaturesCopy !req
540. lying on their backs
at the bottom of ponds.Copy !req
541. I've seen better organised creatures than you
running around farmyards with their heads cut off.Copy !req
542. Now collect your things and get out.Copy !req
543. I never want to see you or any of your men
in my hotel again.Copy !req
544. If you'll excuse me,
I have to speak to a professional builder.Copy !req
545. Hello, Mr Stubbs? It's Sybil Fawlty here.Copy !req
546. I'm sorry to disturb
you on a Sunday morning.Copy !req
547. We have a slight problem with a couple
of doors we'd like you to take care of.Copy !req
548. When do you think you could
come take a look at them?Copy !req
549. Tomorrow morning at 9:00.
That would be fine.Copy !req
550. See you then. Thank you very much. Goodbye.Copy !req
551. I think I shall go over to Audrey's now.Copy !req
552. I shan't be back till the morning.Copy !req
553. - Oh, Basil.
- Yes, dear?Copy !req
554. What is that doing here?Copy !req
555. Your garden gnome. Isn't it nice?Copy !req
556. Don't you think it would
be better in the garden?Copy !req
557. Yes, dear. Good idea.Copy !req
558. Oh, no, no, Basil. Put him back.Copy !req
559. On second thought,
I'll leave him in charge.Copy !req
560. I'm sure he's cheap and he'll certainly
be better at it than you.Copy !req
561. Have a nice day, dear.Copy !req
562. Don't drive over any mines or anything.Copy !req
563. Toxic midget.Copy !req
564. Where are you going?Copy !req
565. Please take your tools back and continue.Copy !req
566. I thought in view of what
Mrs Fawlty was saying...Copy !req
567. You're not going to take that seriously?Copy !req
568. I thought I might.Copy !req
569. What sort of a man are you?Copy !req
570. Are you going to let her
speak to us like that?Copy !req
571. - She did!
- No, she didn't.Copy !req
572. She thinks she did, but we'll show her.Copy !req
573. We're not going to just put that door back
and take that one out.Copy !req
574. We'll close that one off
and put that one through as well.Copy !req
575. We're going to do the best day's work
you've ever done.Copy !req
576. Manuel, any sign?Copy !req
577. No, no.Copy !req
578. - Morning, Fawlty.
- Morning, Major.Copy !req
579. - The papers are here.
- Ah, good.Copy !req
580. Notice anything new, Major?Copy !req
581. Another car strike.Copy !req
582. Never mind.Copy !req
583. - Morning, Major.
- Oh, good morning...Copy !req
584. - Never mind.
- Oh, right.Copy !req
585. Ah! You've found it. I knew you would.Copy !req
586. He lost it, you know.Copy !req
587. Mr Fawlty, she come now!Copy !req
588. Quick!Copy !req
589. Morning, dear.Copy !req
590. Did you have a pleasant evening?Copy !req
591. Oh, good. Ah, Mr Stubbs.Copy !req
592. - My wife's just there.
- Thank you.Copy !req
593. Good morning, Mrs Fawlty.Copy !req
594. Mr Stubbs. This is most awkward.Copy !req
595. I'm afraid I have to apologise.Copy !req
596. My husband has put me
in an embarrassing situation once again.Copy !req
597. I was going to ask you
to do some work here.Copy !req
598. Yes?Copy !req
599. But I was away, and when I came back,
it appears to have been done.Copy !req
600. - Everything all right?
- Oh, I see.Copy !req
601. It'll probably fall down by lunchtime.Copy !req
602. Do you think so? Let's ask a real expert.Copy !req
603. Do you think it'll fall down by
lunch, Mr Stubbs?Copy !req
604. No, no.Copy !req
605. Mr Stubbs wouldn't agree
with you on that one.Copy !req
606. - It's a very good job.
- Did you hear that, dear?Copy !req
607. A very good job. Hmm?Copy !req
608. None of us likes being wrong.
I certainly don't.Copy !req
609. We knocked through this door,
and we closed this one off.Copy !req
610. What did you use? RSJ?Copy !req
611. No, four by two. Not bad, eh, dear?Copy !req
612. And not expensive.Copy !req
613. I mean for the lintel. Did you use an RSJ?Copy !req
614. You know, an iron girder?Copy !req
615. Or did you use a concrete lintel?Copy !req
616. No, a wooden one.Copy !req
617. But that's a supporting wall.Copy !req
618. What?Copy !req
619. Quite. Thanks very much
for coming over this morning.Copy !req
620. Just a minute. That isn't strong enough?Copy !req
621. That's a supporting wall, Mrs Fawlty.Copy !req
622. It could give way at any moment.Copy !req
623. Any moment?Copy !req
624. God help the floors above.Copy !req
625. Keep this door shut until I can get a screw jack
to prop it up before the lot comes down.Copy !req
626. Cowboys.Copy !req
627. Basil?Copy !req
628. Basil?Copy !req
629. Basil!Copy !req
630. Where are you going?Copy !req
631. I'm going to see Mr O'Reilly, dear.Copy !req
632. Then I think I might go to Canada.Copy !req