1. One double room without bath
for the 16th, 17th and 18th.
Copy !req
2. Yes, and if you'd be so good as to
confirm by letter?
Copy !req
3. Thank you so much, goodbye.
Copy !req
4. - Have you made up the bill for room 12, Basil?
- No, I haven't yet, no.
Copy !req
5. Well, they're in a hurry,
Polly says they didn't get their alarm call.
Copy !req
6. Please get that picture up,
it's been there for a week.
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7. It's been there since Monday, Sybil.
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8. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday...
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9. Good morning. Friday, Sat...
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10. Manuel!
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11. There is too much butter on those trays.
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12. - Qué?
- There is too much butter on those trays.
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13. - No, no, no, señor!
- What?
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14. Not "on those trays".
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15. No, sir, "Uno, dos, tres."
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16. - Uno, dos, tres.
- No, no.
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17. Hay mucho burro allí!
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18. Qué?
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19. Hay mucho burro allí!
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20. - Ah, mantequilla!
- What? Qué?
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21. Mantequilla. Burro is... is hee-haw.
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22. What?
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23. Burro. Burro is hee-haw, hee-haw.
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24. - Manuel, por favor. Un momento.
- Sí, sí, sí.
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25. - What's the matter, Basil?
- Nothing, dear, I'm just dealing with it.
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26. - He speak good... how do you say?
- English!
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27. Mantequilla solamente dos.
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28. Dos?
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29. Don't look at me, you're the one
who's supposed to be able to speak it.
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30. Two pieces!
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31. Two each! Arriba, arriba!
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32. I don't know why you
wanted to hire him, Basil.
Copy !req
33. Because he's cheap and keen to learn, dear.
Copy !req
34. And in this day and age such...
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35. But why did you say you could
speak the language?
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36. I learned classical Spanish, not the
strange dialect he seems to have picked up.
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37. It'd be quicker to train a monkey.
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38. Good morning, Miss Gatsby.
Morning, Miss Tibbs.
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39. Good morning, good morning.
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40. - Basil!
- Yes, dear?
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41. Are you going to hang the picture?
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42. - Yes, I am, dear.
- When?
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43. - When I've, when I've...
- Well, why don't you do it now?
Copy !req
44. I'm doing this, dear, I'm doing the menu.
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45. You've got all morning to do the menu.
Why don't you hang the picture now?
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46. - Well?
- Yes, all right, I won't do the menu.
Copy !req
47. I don't think you realise how long
it takes to do the menu,
Copy !req
48. but no, it doesn't matter,
I'll hang the picture now.
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49. If the menus are late for
lunch, it doesn't matter,
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50. the guests can all come and look at
the picture till they are ready, right?
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51. Lower.
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52. Lower.
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53. Up a bit.
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54. - There.
- Thank you, dear. Thank you so much.
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55. I don't know where I'd be without you.
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56. In the land of the living, probably.
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57. Yes?
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58. Could we have our bill, please?
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59. Well, can you wait a minute?
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60. I'm afraid we're bit late for our train,
we didn't get our alarm call.
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61. Right.
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62. I was up at 5:00, you know,
we do have staff problems.
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63. I'm so sorry it's not all done by magic.
Copy !req
64. Basil, are you doing the menu?
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65. No, I'm not doing the menu, dear.
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66. I am doing the bill for these
charming people who are in a hurry.
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67. I'm sorry to cause all this trouble,
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68. but the reason we're late is
we didn't get our alarm call.
Copy !req
69. Oh, dear, I am sorry.
Copy !req
70. - Basil, why didn't they get their alarm call?
- Because I forgot.
Copy !req
71. I am so sorry I am not perfect!
Copy !req
72. There you are, there's the bill.
Copy !req
73. Perhaps you'd pay my wife,
I have to put the picture up,
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74. if there aren't any
dustbins to be cleaned out.
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75. Newspapers!
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76. Goodbye. See you again.
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77. Don't forget the picture, Basil.
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78. I won't, dear, leave it to me.
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79. I'm going out now.
I expect it to be up when I come back.
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80. Drive carefully, dear.
Copy !req
81. - Good morning, Major.
- Morning, Fawlty.
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82. I do apologise for the tardiness of the arrival
of your newspaper this morning, Major.
Copy !req
83. I will speak to them again,
see if something can be done.
Copy !req
84. Ah, more strikes. Dustmen, post office...
Copy !req
85. It makes you want to cry, doesn't it?
Copy !req
86. What's happened to the old idea of doing
something for your fellow man, of service?
Copy !req
87. - I mean, today, people...
- Mr Fawlty?
Copy !req
88. Yes, I'm coming! Wait a moment!
Copy !req
89. They treat you like dirt, you know?
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90. Of course it's pure ignorance,
Copy !req
91. - but with the class of guests one gets nowadays...
- D'Oliveira made a hundred!
Copy !req
92. Did he? Did he really?
Copy !req
93. Good for him, good old Dolly. Well, well, well...
Copy !req
94. Thank you, Polly.
Copy !req
95. We're only staying till Sunday.
Copy !req
96. Right, thank you.
Copy !req
97. Ah, I thought you were going out, dear.
Copy !req
98. What's this?
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99. - I decided, Sybil, to advertise.
- How much did it cost?
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100. Oh, I haven't... 15?
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101. - 40.
- 40.
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102. I have told you where we advertise.
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103. - Sybil, I know the hotel business.
- No, you don't, Basil.
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104. Sybil, we've got to try and attract
a better class of person.
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105. Why?
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106. - We're losing tone.
- We're making money.
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107. - Yes, yes.
- Just.
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108. Yes, but now we can try and build up
a higher class of clientele!
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109. Turn away some of the riffraff.
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110. So long as they pay their bills, Basil.
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111. Is that all that matters to
you, Sybil? Money?
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112. This advertisement is a waste of £40.
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113. One moment. One moment, please.
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114. - Well?
- Well?
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115. My dear woman, Sir Richard and Lady Morris,
arriving this evening. For two nights.
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116. You see, they saw our advertisement
in Country Life.
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117. - I wish they were staying a week.
- Well, so do I.
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118. - Might pay for the ad then.
- Sybil, look.
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119. If we can attract this class of customer,
I mean, the sky's the limit!
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120. Basil, 22 rooms is the limit!
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121. I mean, have you seen
the people in room six?
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122. They've never even sat on chairs before.
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123. They are the commonest, vulgarest, most...
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124. 'allo.
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125. Got a room?
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126. I beg your pardon?
Copy !req
127. Got a room for tonight, mate?
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128. - I shall have to see, sir. A single?
- Yeah.
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129. No, make it a double. I feel lucky today.
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130. - Hello.
- Good morning.
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131. - Only joking.
- No, we haven't.
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132. - What?
- Haven't any rooms. Good day.
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133. - Number seven is free, Basil.
- Mr Tone is in number seven, dear.
Copy !req
134. No, he left while you were
putting the picture up, Basil.
Copy !req
135. - You have luggage, sir?
- Just one case.
Copy !req
136. In the car. The white sports.
Copy !req
137. - Fill this in, would you, sir?
- If you can.
Copy !req
138. Hope you enjoy your stay, Mr Brown.
Copy !req
139. Manuel, would you fetch this
gentleman's case from the car outside?
Copy !req
140. Take it to room seven?
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141. - Is not easy for me.
- What?
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142. Is not easy for me... Entender.
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143. It's not easy for you to understand.
Copy !req
144. Manuel...
We're training him. He's from Barcelona.
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145. In Spain.
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146. - Obtener la valisa...
- Qué?
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147. la valisa en el,
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148. er, auto bianco sportiv.
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149. Y... a la sala...
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150. Siete... por favor.
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151. - Pronto.
- Is impossible.
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152. - What?
- Is impossible.
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153. Look, it's perfectly simple!
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154. Manuel, sírvase buscar mi equipaje
qué está en el automóvil blanco
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155. y lo trae a la sala número siete.
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156. Señor habla español!
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157. Sólo un poco, lo siento.
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158. - Pero he olvidado mucho.
- No, no, habla muy bien.
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159. - Muy muy bien. Formidable!
- Gracias, gracias.
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160. Lo voy a coger ahora.
Copy !req
161. Well, if there's anything else,
I'm sure Manuel will be able to tell you,
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162. as you seem to get on so well together.
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163. Key?
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164. Hello, dear, just doing the picture.
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165. Don't forget the menu.
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166. I beg your pardon?
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167. Don't forget the menu.
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168. I thought you said you wanted...
Right! I'll do the menu.
Copy !req
169. You could have had them both done by now
if you hadn't spent the whole morning
Copy !req
170. skulking in there listening to that racket.
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171. Racket?
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172. That's Brahms!
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173. Brahms' third racket!
Copy !req
174. The whole morning?
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175. I had two bars.
Copy !req
176. Ready to order?
Copy !req
177. - Yeah. What's a gralefrit?
- Grapefruit.
Copy !req
178. - And creme pot... Pot rouge?
- Portuguese. Tomato soup.
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179. I'll have the gralefrit.
Copy !req
180. - Now balm carousel... Lamb?
- Casserole.
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181. - Sounds good. Does it come with a smile?
- It comes with sprouts or carrots.
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182. - Smile's extra, is it?
- You'll get one if you eat up all your sprouts.
Copy !req
183. Waiter!
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184. I beg your pardon?
Copy !req
185. Oh, hello. Can I have some wine, please?
Copy !req
186. The waiter is busy, sir,
but I will bring you the carte des vins
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187. - when I've finished attending to this gentleman.
- Fine. No hurry.
Copy !req
188. Good, how nice, how very thoughtful.
Copy !req
189. I trust the beer is to
your satisfaction, sir?
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190. Yes, fine.
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191. Good. May I wish you bon appétit.
Copy !req
192. Thank you.
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193. Manuel!
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194. Señor.
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195. - Would you fetch the wine list, please?
- Sí, señor.
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196. - The wine list.
- Sí?
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197. - The wine... vino.
- Señor.
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198. No, no. The list.
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199. There, there, the list!
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200. The list, there! The red... There!
Copy !req
201. There!
Copy !req
202. Thank you, Manuel.
Copy !req
203. Go away.
Copy !req
204. - Have you got a half bottle of the beaujolais?
- Yes.
Copy !req
205. Oh, fine.
Copy !req
206. Right! Never mind! Never mind!
Copy !req
207. Manuel, another grapefruit
for table 12, please.
Copy !req
208. Manuel! I do beg your pardon. I'm so sorry.
Copy !req
209. - Throw it away.
- Qué?
Copy !req
210. Throw it away.
Copy !req
211. Throw it away?
Copy !req
212. Throw it away!
Copy !req
213. Now!
Copy !req
214. Sorry.
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215. Sorry, sorry! Sorry about that.
Copy !req
216. - Sorry about that.
- No, I like a bit of cabaret.
Copy !req
217. - You left your sketch.
- Sorry.
Copy !req
218. It's very good. Do you sell any?
Copy !req
219. Enough to keep me in waitressing.
Copy !req
220. One half bottle of beaujolais.
Copy !req
221. - Sybil.
- Someone at reception, dear.
Copy !req
222. Yes, yes, well, yes?
Copy !req
223. Well, I was wondering if you could offer me
accommodation for a few nights?
Copy !req
224. Well, have you booked?
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225. - I'm sorry?
- Have you booked?
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226. - No.
- Oh, dear.
Copy !req
227. Why, are you full?
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228. We're not full, we're not full.
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229. Of course we're not full!
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230. - I'd like...
- One moment, please.
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231. - Yes?
- A single room with a...
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232. Could I have your name?
Copy !req
233. - Melbury.
- One second, please.
Copy !req
234. Hello?
Copy !req
235. Yes, Mr O'Reilly, well,
it's perfectly simple.
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236. When I asked you to build me a wall,
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237. I was rather hoping that instead of just
dumping the bricks in a pile,
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238. you might have found time
to cement them together,
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239. you know, one on top of the other,
in the traditional fashion.
Copy !req
240. Could you fill it in, please?
Copy !req
241. Splendid.
Copy !req
242. Yes, but when, Mr O'Reilly?
Copy !req
243. There, there!
Copy !req
244. Yes, but when?
Copy !req
245. Yes, yes, the flu, yes.
Copy !req
246. Both names, please.
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247. Yes, I should have guessed, Mr O'Reilly,
that and the potato famine, I suppose.
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248. I beg your pardon?
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249. Would you put both your names, please?
Copy !req
250. - Well, would you give me a date?
- Yeah, I only use one.
Copy !req
251. You don't have a first name?
Copy !req
252. No, I am Lord Melbury,
so I simply sign "Melbury."
Copy !req
253. Go away.
Copy !req
254. I'm so sorry to have kept you waiting,
Your Lordship.
Copy !req
255. I do apologise, please forgive me.
Copy !req
256. Is there something, anything,
that I can do for you? Anything at all?
Copy !req
257. - Well, I have filled this in...
- Please don't bother with that.
Copy !req
258. Now, a room? A special room, a single?
Copy !req
259. A double? A suite?
Copy !req
260. We don't have any suites,
but we do have some beautiful doubles...
Copy !req
261. - No, just a single.
- Just a single. Absolutely!
Copy !req
262. How very wise if I may say so, Your Honour.
Copy !req
263. - With a bath?
- Naturally, naturally.
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264. Naturellement.
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265. - I shall be staying for one or two nights...
- Please. Manuel!
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266. - It's rather grey today, isn't it?
- Yes, it is, rather.
Copy !req
267. Of course, usually down
here it's quite beautiful,
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268. but today is a real old rotter.
Copy !req
269. Manuel.
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270. - Still, it's good for the wheat.
- Yes, I suppose so.
Copy !req
271. I hear it's coming along wonderfully
at the moment.
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272. Thank God! I love the wheat.
Copy !req
273. There's no sight like
a field of wheat waving in the...
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274. Waving in... Manuel!
Copy !req
275. Well, how are you?
I mean if it's not a personal question.
Copy !req
276. Well, it is a personal...
Let me take your cases for you.
Copy !req
277. Thank you very much. They're just outside.
Copy !req
278. Splendid. Thank you so much.
I won't be one moment.
Copy !req
279. - Lord Melbury. May I introduce my wife?
- Yes, we have met.
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280. - My wife, may I introduce His Lordship?
- Thank you, Basil, we've sorted it out.
Copy !req
281. Splendid, splendid.
Copy !req
282. I wonder, could I deposit this case with you?
It's just a few valuables.
Copy !req
283. Valuables, of course.
Please let me take it now.
Copy !req
284. I'll put it in the safe straight away.
Copy !req
285. - Sybil, would you put this in the safe, please?
- I'm just off to the kitchen, Basil.
Copy !req
286. Well, if you're too busy.
Copy !req
287. Nice to have met you, Lord Melbury.
Hope you enjoy your stay.
Copy !req
288. - Thank you so much.
- I'll do it then, then I'll do the picture.
Copy !req
289. I'll put this away in one
moment, Your Lord.
Copy !req
290. Manuel, would you take
these cases to room 21.
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291. Qué?
Copy !req
292. Take to room 21.
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293. No entender.
Copy !req
294. Prenda las casos en... Doesn't matter.
I'll do it. Thank you, Manuel.
Copy !req
295. - I take them.
- No, no, go away!
Copy !req
296. Go and wait!
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297. - Wait?
- Wait.
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298. In there! Go and wait in there!
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299. Go and be a waiter in there!
Copy !req
300. I do apologise, Your Lordship.
I'm afraid he's only just joined us.
Copy !req
301. It'd be quicker to train a monkey.
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302. Do please follow me.
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303. I mean, if you're ready. There's no hurry.
Copy !req
304. Oh, yes, yes, fine.
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305. Excuse me, I'm sorry to bother you.
Copy !req
306. - Would you mind moving to that table?
- What?
Copy !req
307. Could I ask you, please,
to move to that table over there?
Copy !req
308. - But...
- I'm so sorry to trouble you.
Copy !req
309. - We're halfway through.
- Thank you so much.
Copy !req
310. - This is Lord Melbury's table, you see?
- What?
Copy !req
311. Lord Melbury. When he stays with us,
he always sits at this table.
Copy !req
312. - Why did they put us here?
- Er, an oversight on my wife's part.
Copy !req
313. I'm so sorry.
He's only just arrived, you see.
Copy !req
314. Would you mind? Polly!
Would you help these people to that table?
Copy !req
315. Thank you, thank you so much.
Copy !req
316. Come on! Come on!
Copy !req
317. Thank you.
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318. Lord Melbury.
Do please come this way, Your Lordship.
Copy !req
319. I have your table over here
by the window as usual.
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320. Just here.
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321. - Thank you so much.
- Thank you very much.
Copy !req
322. Oh, my God!
Copy !req
323. I think he's killed him!
Copy !req
324. Get on with your meals! Thank you so much.
Copy !req
325. Lord Melbury,
I really must apologise again...
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326. Please, please, think nothing of it.
Copy !req
327. - But it was so...
- No, no, no.
Copy !req
328. It was the smallest of accidents.
It could have occurred anywhere.
Copy !req
329. - Yes, but...
- I've forgotten all about it.
Copy !req
330. That's most... You're really...
Copy !req
331. Your Lordship, would you allow me to offer
you dinner here tonight, as our guest?
Copy !req
332. That's extremely kind of you.
Unfortunately, I have an engagement tonight.
Copy !req
333. Actually...
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334. - Yes?
- There is one thing.
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335. Good! Good!
Copy !req
336. I was wondering...
Can you cash me a small cheque?
Copy !req
337. - I'm playing golf this afternoon...
- Delighted!
Copy !req
338. and I'd rather not go into the town.
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339. Absolutely. I mean, how much?
Copy !req
340. If it's not a rude question?
Copy !req
341. Could you manage 50... 100?
Copy !req
342. A hundred? Absolutely.
Copy !req
343. Yes, I mean, will 100 be enough?
Copy !req
344. I mean 150, two... 160?
Copy !req
345. Let's see. That's dinner tonight, few tips.
And it's the weekend, isn't it?
Copy !req
346. Would 200 be all right?
Copy !req
347. Please! Tremendous!
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348. I'm so happy!
Copy !req
349. I'll send someone to the town straightaway
and have it for you here when you get back.
Copy !req
350. - Yes, that would be splendid.
- Thank you, Your Lordship.
Copy !req
351. - Thank you so much.
- Not at all, my privilege.
Copy !req
352. Breeding... I mean...
Copy !req
353. Hello, dear.
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354. - What are you doing?
- I'm kissing you, dear.
Copy !req
355. Well, don't.
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356. Just thought it might be nice to...
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357. I heard about lunch.
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358. - What? That. Think nothing of it.
- What?
Copy !req
359. It was the smallest of accidents.
Could have happened anywhere.
Copy !req
360. Anywhere?
Copy !req
361. First you move that nice family
in the middle of their meal,
Copy !req
362. and then you attack Lord
Melbury with a chair.
Copy !req
363. Look, Sybil,
I've had a word with Lord Melbury about it.
Copy !req
364. He was quite charming.
Copy !req
365. It's delightful to have people
like that staying here.
Copy !req
366. Sheer class, golf, baths, engagements,
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367. a couple of hundr... Horses.
Copy !req
368. - I've never seen such tatty cases.
- Of course you haven't.
Copy !req
369. It's only the true upper class
that would have tat like that.
Copy !req
370. It's the whole point!
Copy !req
371. - You don't know what I'm talking about.
- No, I don't.
Copy !req
372. But don't ever move guests
in the middle of a meal again.
Copy !req
373. And get that picture up.
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374. Sour old rat.
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375. Polly, would you do me a favour?
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376. When you're down in the
town this afternoon,
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377. would you just pop...
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378. Just between ourselves,
don't mention this to my wife,
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379. pop into the bank and just...
Copy !req
380. Could somebody answer that, please?
Copy !req
381. Hello!
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382. Is there nobody who can answer that?
Copy !req
383. There must be someone.
Copy !req
384. Not you.
Copy !req
385. I'll never get it up.
I'll cancel my holiday, do it then.
Copy !req
386. Hello, Fawlty Towers.
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387. Hello, Fawlty Towers. Hello, Brenda.
Copy !req
388. Basil, it's 6:00.
Copy !req
389. Polly, did you cash it?
Copy !req
390. - Yes. Mr Fawlty?
- Good, good.
Copy !req
391. - Could I have a word with you?
- What?
Copy !req
392. - Could I speak to you for just a minute?
- Not now, Polly.
Copy !req
393. - It's very important.
- Later, later.
Copy !req
394. - Basil.
- I'm just going, dear.
Copy !req
395. Thank you, thank you so much, Polly.
Copy !req
396. - Good evening, Major.
- Evening, Fawlty.
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397. The usual?
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398. Why not? Indeed, yes.
Copy !req
399. Why not? I've just been watching
one of those nature films on television.
Copy !req
400. Oh, yes?
Copy !req
401. Did you know the female gibbon
gestates for seven months?
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402. Seven months?
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403. - Well, I never...
- Here you are, Major.
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404. Seven... My word.
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405. Good evening, Mr Wareing.
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406. A gin and orange, a lemon squash
and a scotch and water, please.
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407. Certainly.
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408. Is there any part of the room
you'd like us to keep away from?
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409. What?
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410. We'll be over there, then.
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411. - Seven. Well, well...
- Evening, Fawlty.
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412. Good evening, Lord Melbury.
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413. - Anywhere?
- Yes, anywhere, anywhere.
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414. Lord Melbury, may I offer you
a little aperitif as our guest?
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415. That's very kind of you.
Dry sherry, if you please.
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416. What else?
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417. Such... I don't know what.
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418. Je ne sais quoi?
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419. Exactly! Exactly!
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420. There you are, Sybil.
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421. - Good evening, Major.
- Evening, Mrs Fawlty.
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422. - There you are, Your Lordship.
- Thank you very much.
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423. I see my little collection of coins
tickles your interest.
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424. What? Oh, yes, yes.
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425. All British empire, of course.
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426. Used to be quite a hobby of mine.
Little investment, too.
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427. Talking about... Did you manage to...
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428. Yes.
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429. - There you are, Your Lordship.
- Thank you, yes.
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430. Yes, you know, these sorts of things,
their value's soared this last couple of years.
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431. Have they really?
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432. Yes. You take my advice.
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433. You get them revalued,
and insure them for the full amount.
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434. Yes, I will.
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435. You can't take any risks
nowadays, I'm afraid.
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436. - No, quite.
- Well, I must be off.
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437. - Thank you very much, Your Lordship.
- Basil.
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438. Yes, I was just talking
to Lord Melbury, dear.
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439. A gin and orange, a lemon squash
and a scotch and water, please!
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440. I do apologise,
I was just talking to Lord...
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441. - Fawlty.
- Yes, Lord Melbury.
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442. I was thinking...
You see, I am having dinner tonight
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443. with the Duke of Buckleigh,
do you know him?
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444. Not personally, no.
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445. He's a great expert,
you know, Sotheby's and all that.
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446. Is he?
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447. Now if you like, I could take them with me,
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448. ask him to have a quick look at them,
and find their current value.
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449. - Would you really?
- Yes, certainly.
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450. I'll be off in a few moments.
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451. - Well, that's really so...
- Basil.
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452. I'm talking to Lord Melbury!
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453. A gin and orange, a lemon squash
and a scotch and water, please!
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454. All right! All right!
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455. - Mr Fawlty...
- Was that Lord Melbury? Has he gone?
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456. I rang, Mr Fawlty, I must speak with you.
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457. - What? Can't you see I'm busy?
- It's very important.
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458. - Can we talk in there?
- I can't.
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459. - Basil!
- It's very important!
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460. I'm dealing with something important
out here, Sybil. Thank you.
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461. Yes? Yes, right, well,
yes, yes, what is it?
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462. - It's about Lord Melbury.
- Yes?
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463. He's not Lord Melbury.
He's a confidence trickster.
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464. - I beg your pardon?
- Mr Brown told me.
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465. Mr Brown's from the CID.
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466. They've been watching Melbury because
he's pulling some big con trick in the town.
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467. They're going to arrest him when he leaves here,
so as not to cause you embarrassment.
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468. - But he asked me to tell you...
- How nice of him!
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469. Please, Mr Fawlty...
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470. I don't know what other tales Mr Brown
of MI5 has been impressing you with.
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471. He's a con man.
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472. Yes, of course, it stands out a mile, doesn't it?
He's so common.
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473. Unlike that cockney git whose ulterior motive
will soon no doubt become apparent to you,
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474. poor, innocent,
misguided child that you are.
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475. - Basil, what's going on?
- Nothing, my dear, nothing at all.
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476. - Mrs Fawlty...
- Now look!
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477. - Yes, Polly?
- I don't know what she's...
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478. - Basil!
- Mr Brown is from the CID.
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479. He showed me identification.
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480. They're watching Melbury.
He's a confidence trickster.
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481. - I see.
- What do you mean, you see?
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482. - Let's have a look at these valuables.
- What are you doing?
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483. Sybil, I forbid you to open that safe!
Sybil, I forbid you to take that case out!
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484. Sybil, do not open that case, I forbid it!
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485. I never thought I would live to see the day
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486. when a peer of the realm,
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487. entrusts to us, a case of valuables
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488. in trust...
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489. - I'll call the police.
- They're already here, Mr Brown's outside.
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490. Someone at reception, Basil.
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491. Ah. Erm...
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492. All right. Good evening.
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493. - I believe you were expecting us.
- No, I was expecting somebody else.
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494. Sir Richard and Lady Morris.
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495. - Yes, them as well.
- I'm sorry?
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496. - How did you know?
- What?
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497. You're Sir Richard and Lady Morris,
I do beg your pardon.
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498. I was just think...
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499. Would you mind filling this out, please?
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500. We've given you room...
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501. Fawlty.
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502. Mr Fawlty to you, Lord Melbury.
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503. - I beg your pardon?
- Nothing, please forget all about it.
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504. Here's the cheque for £200.
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505. Thank you so much.
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506. Now, about my priceless
collection of coins?
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507. Yes, do you still...
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508. Do I still want you to take them to be
valued by the Duke of Buckleigh, My Lord?
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509. - Yes.
- No, I don't.
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510. Because we've just heard
that the Duke of Buckleigh is dead.
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511. Yes, got his head knocked
off by a golf ball.
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512. Tragic! Tragic!
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513. Well, how are you, Lord Melbury?
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514. 'Ow are yer then? All right, mate?
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515. 'Ow's me old mucker?
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516. Any valuables to deposit, Sir Richard?
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517. Any bricks?
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518. I do apologise... You bastard!
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519. We've given you room 12
with the view overlooking the park.
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520. I'm sure you'll like it.
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521. We'll have your bags brought up
and may I introduce your wife?
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522. Hello, Lord Melbury!
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523. - Bastard!
- Basil!
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524. Please think nothing of it.
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525. Do please excuse me one moment.
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526. - I beg your pardon?
- The Morrises are leaving.
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527. Where are you going?
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528. - What are you doing?
- We're leaving!
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529. Don't, please stay, you'll like it here.
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530. I've never been in such a place in my life.
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531. You snobs!
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532. You stupid, stuck-up,
toffee-nosed, half-witted
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533. upper-class piles of pus!
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534. - Sorry, Mr Fawlty.
- Just one, please.
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535. Sorry, Mr Fawlty.
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536. Well, I'd better put the picture up.
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537. Thank you, Polly, for the...
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538. - Well done, Manuel.
- Qué?
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539. Oh... Olé.
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540. Sorry about that, Mr Fawlty,
can I buy you a drink?
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541. No, I'd better put this up, I suppose.
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542. Basil.
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543. A gin and orange,
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544. a lemon squash and a scotch
and water, please!
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545. Right!
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546. Come on.
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