1. I was sheriff of this county
when I was 25.Copy !req
2. Hard to believe.Copy !req
3. Grandfather was a sheriff.
Father, too.Copy !req
4. Ranchers all.Copy !req
5. Working the land through times
flush and fallow.Copy !req
6. There's a natural order
to things.Copy !req
7. We know it in our bones.Copy !req
8. Jesus was a man,
not some bearded lady.Copy !req
9. And just as water
flows downhill,Copy !req
10. a husband is head
of his household.Copy !req
11. Under him, the woman abides.Copy !req
12. She holds her virtue closeCopy !req
13. until that matrimonial
threshold is crossed,Copy !req
14. and then she opens to him,Copy !req
15. as the flower opens to the sun.Copy !req
16. And in exchange,Copy !req
17. the man shelters
and protects his female,Copy !req
18. as the sword has its sheath.Copy !req
19. Okay, but what I'm saying is, you...Copy !req
20. No. He only raises
his hand to herCopy !req
21. when she forgets her place
and acts the man.Copy !req
22. And-and then only
for instruction,Copy !req
23. never taking any pleasure
or satisfaction from the task.Copy !req
24. Whereas you, son,Copy !req
25. seem to have played
a Tommy Lee drum soloCopy !req
26. all over your missus's facade.Copy !req
27. - This— I fell is all.
- Hey, quiet now.Copy !req
28. Sheriff's talking.Copy !req
29. Come here. Take comfort, dear.Copy !req
30. Daughter, these hard times
are over.Copy !req
31. All right?Copy !req
32. I'll see to your husband's
instruction myself.Copy !req
33. What 'struction?Copy !req
34. Now, be honest.Copy !req
35. Do you ever question
your man's supremacyCopy !req
36. when he speaks?Copy !req
37. Just when he drinks
or with the crank, you know?Copy !req
38. I try to stay out
of the way, but...Copy !req
39. Don't hurt him.Copy !req
40. - We got three boys
who need a daddy.
- Okay.Copy !req
41. Okay. Okay.Copy !req
42. Yeah.Copy !req
43. Thank you. You got any
of that huckleberry pie?Copy !req
44. Sure.
- That's great.Copy !req
45. Lookit, dick cheese,
I know you...Copy !req
46. Quiet.Copy !req
47. Go home. Fix a meal.Copy !req
48. Pray on it before
you take the first bite.Copy !req
49. Forgiveness. Tend to his burns.Copy !req
50. Try to be deferential.Copy !req
51. Cater to his needs as a man
with your mouthCopy !req
52. in order to sow harmony.Copy !req
53. I'll come by in the morning,
see if the lesson stuck.Copy !req
54. Go on.Copy !req
55. Go.Copy !req
56. They missed her.Copy !req
57. What happened?Copy !req
58. You send a man to do a job
without all the information,Copy !req
59. how can the job be done?Copy !req
60. Yeah, what are you?Copy !req
61. The Riddler?Copy !req
62. You say the woman
is a woman, a...Copy !req
63. How do you...?Copy !req
64. Housewife.Copy !req
65. Never do you mention
she is, for real, a tiger.Copy !req
66. You're saying you couldn't
handle some girl?Copy !req
67. 100 pounds soaking wet?Copy !req
68. Huh?Copy !req
69. It was on the wire this morning.Copy !req
70. This half-wit shot up a
filling station outside Beulah.Copy !req
71. Murdered the clerk.Copy !req
72. Killed a state trooper.Copy !req
73. Put a hole in the leg
of another.Copy !req
74. And this retard's partner
with a cracked skullCopy !req
75. and his face half
burned off in the morgue.Copy !req
76. You say housewife,
so I bring one guy.Copy !req
77. You say tiger...Copy !req
78. that's a different guy.Copy !req
79. Cost you three times.Copy !req
80. Did they take her? The police?Copy !req
81. Fled on foot.Copy !req
82. Possibly home.Copy !req
83. Possibly to the wind.Copy !req
84. Could you find her?Copy !req
85. She could be found.Copy !req
86. Where people go,
the thoughts they have,Copy !req
87. these are known to me.Copy !req
88. Instincts.Copy !req
89. Who flees, who fights.Copy !req
90. It's a question of price.Copy !req
91. The job it was,
not the job you said.Copy !req
92. Pain and suffering.Copy !req
93. A man, missing an appendage,Copy !req
94. self-sewing his own skin.Copy !req
95. Scarred for life, he's told.Copy !req
96. And then this new ask.Copy !req
97. Hunting a tiger.Copy !req
98. And it forces the man to ask:Copy !req
99. why you want the tiger?Copy !req
100. She's my wife.Copy !req
101. Don't tell him shit.Copy !req
102. I already said
I can handle this.Copy !req
103. We know where she lives now.
Her alias.Copy !req
104. She made vows to me.Copy !req
105. A pledge.Copy !req
106. In sickness and in health.Copy !req
107. Consider it a debt unpaid,
leaving me in limbo.Copy !req
108. Husband yes or husband no.Copy !req
109. See, she hid from me
nine, ten years.Copy !req
110. Interest accrued.Copy !req
111. Until the debt could no longer
be paid with money.Copy !req
112. Then, one day, there she is,
fingerprints in the system.Copy !req
113. Now the limbo can end,Copy !req
114. the debt can be collected.Copy !req
115. Tell me something, friend.Copy !req
116. If a man is pure,Copy !req
117. his actions are only ever good.Copy !req
118. You believe that?Copy !req
119. I'm a nihilist.Copy !req
120. What the fuck does that mean?Copy !req
121. I believe in nothing.Copy !req
122. You believe in money.Copy !req
123. Yeah?Copy !req
124. Well, thanks for your help.Copy !req
125. Go on with Gator.
He'll get you paid.Copy !req
126. Dad.Copy !req
127. Original plus pain
and suffering.Copy !req
128. Yeah, of course.Copy !req
129. Take it out
of the rainy day fund.Copy !req
130. Fixing place. Right.Copy !req
131. Come on, numbnuts.Copy !req
132. A man is grateful.Copy !req
133. I'm not saying sorry,
but you understand.Copy !req
134. I had to rough you up a little
back there.Copy !req
135. You coming up
snake eyes and all.Copy !req
136. With her being
such a tiny bird, which...Copy !req
137. You know...Copy !req
138. they used to be dinosaurs.Copy !req
139. Hundreds okay?Copy !req
140. Surprise, shitbird.Copy !req
141. - What's going on, Roy?
- Go on, get back
to the house now.Copy !req
142. Like we said, this is all
just a misunderstanding.Copy !req
143. Had a bad day is all.Copy !req
144. A bad day?Copy !req
145. Yeah.Copy !req
146. Left the house a mess.Copy !req
147. Last I checked, weren't a crime.Copy !req
148. No, ma'am.Copy !req
149. I'm a recidivist
on that count myself.Copy !req
150. Laundry especially.Copy !req
151. Oh, laundry.Copy !req
152. But what I'm concerned
about is the blood.Copy !req
153. Told you, I cut my feet up
on some glass.Copy !req
154. You did.Copy !req
155. And I see the wounds.Copy !req
156. But what I'm dealing with
is the factCopy !req
157. that the blood
on your entry floorCopy !req
158. is different than the blood type
we have on record for you.Copy !req
159. Records?Copy !req
160. Those...Copy !req
161. You know, I heard a man went
into the hospital in St. PaulCopy !req
162. fer a kidney transplant,Copy !req
163. he ended up
with someone else's brain.Copy !req
164. - No way.
- Yeah.Copy !req
165. Well, I'm not sure...Copy !req
166. That don't sound accurate.Copy !req
167. What I'm saying is,
hospitals make mistakes.Copy !req
168. Then there's the hair DNA from
the balaclava in your boudoir.Copy !req
169. Told you, I bought
that secondhand.Copy !req
170. You know, it's my fault.Copy !req
171. You know, I came home,
front door was wide open, uh,Copy !req
172. all the... blood.Copy !req
173. Uh, I-I'm not ashamed
to say I panicked.Copy !req
174. But, you know, Dot's home,Copy !req
175. and, uh, that's all
that matters.Copy !req
176. So, uh, whatever the—Copy !req
177. You know, she's my wife.
And I believe her.Copy !req
178. So, if there's a form
or something I can sign to...Copy !req
179. you know, drop the charges...Copy !req
180. That's not how this works.Copy !req
181. - I got to...
- Hmm?Copy !req
182. It's almost time for pickup.Copy !req
183. I told Scotty we could
go to DQ after school, so...Copy !req
184. Well, okay, then.Copy !req
185. Thanks for your time.Copy !req
186. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
187. We're reviewing traffic cameras
in the neighborhood,Copy !req
188. so if I have
any more questions...Copy !req
189. No.Copy !req
190. She's...Copy !req
191. Wayne, she's not
listening to me.Copy !req
192. Uh, Danish Graves
is our attorney,Copy !req
193. so if you need
to contact us again,Copy !req
194. which you shouldn't, uh...Copy !req
195. Okay, then.Copy !req
196. So, it's a puzzler.Copy !req
197. Spoke to Wayne.Copy !req
198. Dot's back.Copy !req
199. She's what now?Copy !req
200. Yeah, came home on her own.Copy !req
201. A little bruised.Copy !req
202. Bloody feet.Copy !req
203. She escaped?Copy !req
204. Well, that's the conundrum.Copy !req
205. Says she wasn't taken.Copy !req
206. Says it was just a driving
around type scenario.Copy !req
207. Getting her head straight.Copy !req
208. Bullshit.Copy !req
209. You saw the police report.Copy !req
210. Something's fishy here.Copy !req
211. Agreed.Copy !req
212. I smell a rat.Copy !req
213. You think...Copy !req
214. Well, what do you think?Copy !req
215. A play, maybe.Copy !req
216. Extortion,
but she got cold feet.Copy !req
217. Kidnapped herself,
you're thinking?Copy !req
218. I mean, what do we know
about this girl, really?Copy !req
219. Well, I did the background check
when they got engaged.Copy !req
220. Well, you said yourself,
not much there.Copy !req
221. Pretty thin, for sure.Copy !req
222. Just the birth certificate,Copy !req
223. a few school records,
previous addresses.Copy !req
224. Well, it's too good to be true,
now I'm thinking.Copy !req
225. So, what do we...?Copy !req
226. Tell you what we don't want—
police digging their nosesCopy !req
227. into other people's business.Copy !req
228. Asking questions
that can't be answered.Copy !req
229. Then what?Copy !req
230. Possibly this thing
goes federal.Copy !req
231. You know, wrong person
makes a phone call.Copy !req
232. You don't think Wayne's...Copy !req
233. Who knows what to think?Copy !req
234. He's got the dealership,Copy !req
235. a decent roof over their head,Copy !req
236. but maybe she's pushing him
for more.Copy !req
237. Putting ideas in his head.Copy !req
238. Eh... I don't know.Copy !req
239. So we separate 'em,
like the cops.Copy !req
240. You brace him. I go at her.Copy !req
241. Get to the bottom of things.Copy !req
242. If this deal's for realCopy !req
243. and they got a notion
to take what's mine,Copy !req
244. we need to nip it in the bud.Copy !req
245. Keep things in-house.Copy !req
246. Ah, geez.Copy !req
247. Everything was going
along just fine, too.Copy !req
248. And now, what do you...Copy !req
249. This... enemy within situation.Copy !req
250. She made promises. To me.Copy !req
251. My son.Copy !req
252. To have and to hold.Copy !req
253. For richer and poorer.Copy !req
254. And that's a debt
we're gonna collect.Copy !req
255. You gonna make it
there, sunshine?Copy !req
256. Fucker got the drop
on me.Copy !req
257. Tell me her name again?Copy !req
258. Uh, goes by Dorothy Lyon now.Copy !req
259. Lives in a suburb outside
the Twin Cities.Copy !req
260. Married, you said?Copy !req
261. Going on ten years.Copy !req
262. Husband owns a car dealership,
some kind of...Copy !req
263. uh, Korean model.Copy !req
264. Koreans make cars?Copy !req
265. I guess.Copy !req
266. Anyway, she's got a daughterCopy !req
267. named Scotty. She's about nine.Copy !req
268. Roy, we got FBI here.Copy !req
269. Let's send 'em up.Copy !req
270. What do you want me to...?Copy !req
271. Ah, don't worry about it.Copy !req
272. Hard day at the office.Copy !req
273. Like the sign says,
he's a hard man for hard times.Copy !req
274. And by "he" I mean me.Copy !req
275. Agent "Ja-Queen."Copy !req
276. It's Joaquin.Copy !req
277. This is Agent Meyer.Copy !req
278. We're new in the Fargo office.Copy !req
279. We thought we'd come by,Copy !req
280. see why you aren't enforcing
any of our laws.Copy !req
281. What laws?Copy !req
282. Oh, you know,
gun laws, drug laws.Copy !req
283. Any of the half-dozen
other American lawsCopy !req
284. passed and ratified
by the United States governmentCopy !req
285. that you don't seem
to recognize.Copy !req
286. Well, Agent Ja-Queen,
I think you'll findCopy !req
287. that there is no one
on God's green earthCopy !req
288. who is a greater enforcer
of the laws of this landCopy !req
289. than Roy Tillman.Copy !req
290. Why do I feel like
there's a "but" here?Copy !req
291. But...Copy !req
292. what you need to know is
that I am the law of the land.Copy !req
293. Elected by the residents
of this countyCopy !req
294. to interpret and enforce
the ConstitutionCopy !req
295. given unto us by Almighty God.Copy !req
296. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
297. Freedom.Copy !req
298. Amen.Copy !req
299. You know, I hear that word
a lot out here.Copy !req
300. I'm curious...Copy !req
301. what you think it means.Copy !req
302. Agent, if you don't know
what freedom is,Copy !req
303. I don't think me saying
the words out loudCopy !req
304. is gonna teach you.Copy !req
305. Why don't you go
and do your chores?Copy !req
306. Seriously?Copy !req
307. Do you want a towel, or...?Copy !req
308. Does my discussing
matters of stateCopy !req
309. in moist repose bother you?Copy !req
310. Jesus.Copy !req
311. Now, what is it
you wanted to discuss?Copy !req
312. Well, like I said,
we're new in town.Copy !req
313. We thought we'd come open
a collegial dialogue.Copy !req
314. Maybe let you know
we're looking into the practicesCopy !req
315. - of your office.
- Very unorthodox practices.Copy !req
316. Possibly illegal.Copy !req
317. Illegal according to who?Copy !req
318. Maybe you weren't
paying attention,Copy !req
319. but I am the law around here.Copy !req
320. So you said.Copy !req
321. Removable only by the governor
or my constituents,Copy !req
322. who love me, by the way,Copy !req
323. because I say what I want
and I do as I please.Copy !req
324. And I know the difference
between right and wrong.Copy !req
325. Don't you mean legal
and illegal?Copy !req
326. Well...Copy !req
327. did you know that
in North Dakota it is illegalCopy !req
328. for a charitable group to holdCopy !req
329. more than two poker games
a year?Copy !req
330. And similarly, it is illegalCopy !req
331. to keep an elk in a sandbox
in your own backyard.Copy !req
332. I shit you not.Copy !req
333. Now, if you were to own a tavernCopy !req
334. and serve beer and pretzels
at the same time,Copy !req
335. I could arrest you.Copy !req
336. And in Waverly...Copy !req
337. the law forbids horses
from sleeping in bathtubs.Copy !req
338. You beginning to get
the drift here?Copy !req
339. I'm a sheriff
of the American Constitution.Copy !req
340. Bound by duty, blood,
and traditionCopy !req
341. to enforce what is right
and to prosecute what is wrong.Copy !req
342. And the law, my friends...Copy !req
343. has very little
to do with it.Copy !req
344. So, Ja-Queen, Mrs. Ja-Queen,Copy !req
345. if you'll excuse me,Copy !req
346. I have some justice
to administer.Copy !req
347. You can see yourself out.Copy !req
348. What do you say next time
we get an extra BlizzardCopy !req
349. and hold it upside down
to see how long it takesCopy !req
350. for the stuffing
to come out, huh?Copy !req
351. - Yeah.
- Yeah.Copy !req
352. Your tea selection is atrocious.Copy !req
353. How did you get in here?Copy !req
354. Hey, Nana.Copy !req
355. Are you wearing lipstick?Copy !req
356. That's ketchup.
We had curly fries.Copy !req
357. Like I said, how come
you're in my home?Copy !req
358. Of course I have a key.Copy !req
359. It's my son's house.Copy !req
360. Still, sorry if-if
we startled you.Copy !req
361. Imagine intruders breaking
into your houseCopy !req
362. twice in one week.Copy !req
363. Oh, wait.Copy !req
364. That didn't happen.Copy !req
365. What do you want?Copy !req
366. Jerome, could you see
my granddaughter to her room?Copy !req
367. Maybe she wants to show you
her dolls.Copy !req
368. I don't have dolls, Nana.
I like ninjas.Copy !req
369. Is that some kind of cat?Copy !req
370. You're silly.Copy !req
371. Come on, young Skywalker.Copy !req
372. I'll show you how
a true samurai fights, hmm?Copy !req
373. Whoa.Copy !req
374. Well, I guess with you
when it rains it pours.Copy !req
375. That...Copy !req
376. I mean, this is all
just a bunch of silliness.Copy !req
377. Honestly, I'm embarrassed
by all the fuss.Copy !req
378. Signs of a break-in, I'm told.Copy !req
379. Evidence you fought back,
which good for you.Copy !req
380. I'd have skinned 'em
where they stood.Copy !req
381. Please.Copy !req
382. More like Mama had a tantrumCopy !req
383. and it all got blowed
out of proportion.Copy !req
384. Honestly, like a snowball
rolling downhill.Copy !req
385. Well, either you got
a screw loose,Copy !req
386. or somebody came for you
and you got away...Copy !req
387. and now you're lying about it.Copy !req
388. Mom.Copy !req
389. No.Copy !req
390. I'm not your mom.Copy !req
391. You're married to my son,
mother to my granddaughter.Copy !req
392. I wanted a girl with papers,Copy !req
393. but my Wayne always
liked a sassy thingCopy !req
394. with a tight caboose,
so here you are.Copy !req
395. Haven't you ever had
one of those days?Copy !req
396. So what if I do got
a screw loose?Copy !req
397. Stress and the like.Copy !req
398. I'm holding up my end
of the deal.Copy !req
399. We're man and wife,Copy !req
400. him and me,Copy !req
401. and he loves me.Copy !req
402. There are ways
we could change that.Copy !req
403. The holy bond.Copy !req
404. Revocation of the trust.Copy !req
405. And cut you both
out of the will,Copy !req
406. see if that moves the marker.Copy !req
407. What are you saying?Copy !req
408. I'm saying I don't trust you.Copy !req
409. You're up to something.Copy !req
410. And I won't have you
dragging my son down.Copy !req
411. So...Copy !req
412. best you make excuses,Copy !req
413. you go back to wherever it is
you were before you met.Copy !req
414. If you go easy, I could
even see my way to...Copy !req
415. staking you
for the first... two years.Copy !req
416. Listen, bitch.Copy !req
417. I've climbed through six kinds
of hell to get where I am.Copy !req
418. And no Ivy League royal wannabe
is gonna run me offCopy !req
419. just because she doesn't
like the way I smell.Copy !req
420. If you want to tussle with me...Copy !req
421. you better sleep
with both eyes open.Copy !req
422. Because nobody takes
what's mine and lives.Copy !req
423. Anyhoo...Copy !req
424. thanks for stopping by.Copy !req
425. Dinner Sunday?Copy !req
426. I'll bring my blue salad.Copy !req
427. Jerome.Copy !req
428. We're leaving.Copy !req
429. Always nice to see you, dear.Copy !req
430. Maybe think about getting
some iron into your diet.Copy !req
431. You look like a corpse.Copy !req
432. Mom?Copy !req
433. Ooh.Copy !req
434. I'm hungry.Copy !req
435. What?Copy !req
436. You just had DQ.Copy !req
437. It didn't take.Copy !req
438. Oh. What's going on down there?Copy !req
439. A wedgie.Copy !req
440. Tell you what.Copy !req
441. How about we make
a vegetable medleyCopy !req
442. with carrot sticks
and the bell peppers you like?Copy !req
443. And then you can help Mom
do some kind of craft project.Copy !req
444. What kind of craft project?Copy !req
445. You're gonna have to go
downstairs to find out.Copy !req
446. Come on.Copy !req
447. Ah! Bye-bye.Copy !req
448. Nice done.Copy !req
449. Awesome.Copy !req
450. You ready?
Yeah.Copy !req
451. Keep your hands off
the ball chain, huh?Copy !req
452. Mama doesn't want you
getting smooshed like a bug.Copy !req
453. Can we do my room next?Copy !req
454. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
455. Let's go.Copy !req
456. Race you.Copy !req
457. Don't forget our special
30% off winter deal on...Copy !req
458. Great deal, heck of a deal.Copy !req
459. Oh, sure, yeah, I got
those VIN numbers right here.Copy !req
460. Actually, Phil,
I'll have to call you back.Copy !req
461. All right.Copy !req
462. Finally saw the light
on that Porsche, did you?Copy !req
463. What are you, uh...?Copy !req
464. - What are you...?
- I got some business
to discuss, Wayne.Copy !req
465. Ah.Copy !req
466. Is he on?Copy !req
467. Mom?Copy !req
468. Got a problem here, kid.
Need your help with it.Copy !req
469. Of course, yeah.Copy !req
470. Is it that landscaper again?Copy !req
471. No, it's not
the landscaper, moron.Copy !req
472. It's your wife.Copy !req
473. Now hold on.
That's, uh...Copy !req
474. This whole kidnapping
that ain't a kidnapping thing,Copy !req
475. well, there's something
fishy about that.Copy !req
476. Full low tide, if you ask me.Copy !req
477. Like the dog's breath.Copy !req
478. Now, we talked about this, uh...Copy !req
479. She had a bad day.Copy !req
480. Son.Copy !req
481. I talked to the police.Copy !req
482. They got hard evidence
your wife was abducted.Copy !req
483. Not to mention,Copy !req
484. I just learned they think
they got one of the guysCopy !req
485. on a slab over in North Dakota.Copy !req
486. Broke his skull in the commode
of a filling station.Copy !req
487. - G-Geez.
- Yeah, officer on the scene saidCopy !req
488. there was a female present
who matches Dot.Copy !req
489. Get your head
out of your ass, kid.Copy !req
490. She's making a play here,
your missus.Copy !req
491. In cahoots with
the kidnappers maybe,Copy !req
492. or maybe just seizing
the opportunity.Copy !req
493. I'm not sure what or why.Copy !req
494. But any way you tell the story,Copy !req
495. it ends with me writing a check.Copy !req
496. Oh, come on now, Ma,
n-not everything's about money.Copy !req
497. Slap him.Copy !req
498. I'm... sorry?Copy !req
499. You heard me.Copy !req
500. My son needs a slapCopy !req
501. and I'm not there
to give it to him.Copy !req
502. So, as my attorney,
I authorize youCopy !req
503. to knock his fucking block off.Copy !req
504. No.Copy !req
505. No, no, no, no, no, no.Copy !req
506. Wait a minute— Aah!Copy !req
507. Ow.Copy !req
508. Listen to me, boy.Copy !req
509. You're back at the kiddie table
on this one.Copy !req
510. That's official.Copy !req
511. Now shut your hole
and listen to me talk.Copy !req
512. Trooper?Copy !req
513. Saved.Copy !req
514. From what?Copy !req
515. Concord grape, I think.Copy !req
516. Hmm.Copy !req
517. How... may I help you?Copy !req
518. Sure, well,
I'm, uh, Deputy Olmstead,Copy !req
519. Scandia Police Department
over in Minnesota.Copy !req
520. I wanted to ask you
some questionsCopy !req
521. about events that transpired
last night.Copy !req
522. You and everybody else.Copy !req
523. Well, sir, I think I might have
a piece of your puzzle.Copy !req
524. To wit, the identity of
the missing female you assisted.Copy !req
525. If I'm right,
which I think I am.Copy !req
526. Color me intrigued.Copy !req
527. Taken from her home yesterday
afternoon by two men, we think.Copy !req
528. We found blood from one.Copy !req
529. Looks like she burned the other
fella's face pretty bad.Copy !req
530. Sounds like my girl.Copy !req
531. Rambo, basically.Copy !req
532. Or, uh, the other fella
from the TV, uh...Copy !req
533. - MacGyver.
- Well, I got a picture.Copy !req
534. Mm.Copy !req
535. What do you know?Copy !req
536. It's a party.Copy !req
537. Indira Olmstead,
Scandia Police Department.Copy !req
538. Ah. City girl.Copy !req
539. Well, we prefer "women"
these days.Copy !req
540. But the rest is accurate.Copy !req
541. How can we help you, stranger?Copy !req
542. Sheriff's Deputy, Stark County.Copy !req
543. Sounds like you had a mix-up in
my neck of the woods last night,Copy !req
544. which we run a pretty
tight ship, so...Copy !req
545. I take it personal
when bad men appear.Copy !req
546. This job will grind you down,
you take it too personal.Copy !req
547. What can I say? I like being
on the right side of a gunfight.Copy !req
548. Heard you say you had
a picture of the perps?Copy !req
549. Uh, victim. Female. Right.Copy !req
550. Saw something about, uh,
a woman got taken.Copy !req
551. Or escaped or something?Copy !req
552. We think these fellas grabbed
her up in Minnesota.Copy !req
553. Taking her to points west when
the trooper pulled them over.Copy !req
554. She killed one,
the recidivist Donald Ireland,Copy !req
555. I think they said.
The other one got away.Copy !req
556. Sounds like a real Comanche,
this female you're hunting.Copy !req
557. Like I said, I got a photo.
Excuse me.Copy !req
558. So, what, she some kind
of criminal, also?Copy !req
559. Not exactly.Copy !req
560. Had a mix-up at her daughter's
school this week.Copy !req
561. Tased an officer by accident.Copy !req
562. How's that happen?Copy !req
563. Heat of the moment,
I'm guessing.Copy !req
564. Used to be a saying:Copy !req
565. "Minnesota nice."
But I was there.Copy !req
566. Nothing nice about Minnesota
that day.Copy !req
567. Oops. What'd I do?Copy !req
568. - What did you...?
- I must've, I don't know,
I pressed something.Copy !req
569. Darn it, you deleted
the victim, her photo.Copy !req
570. Yeah, me and technology
don't see eye to eye.Copy !req
571. Especially now.Copy !req
572. This wrist-breaker... ah.Copy !req
573. No, it-it's my fault.Copy !req
574. I'm not sure what I was thinking
just bringing the one.Copy !req
575. Well, I sure hope you find her.Copy !req
576. If it was her,
saved my life, I think.Copy !req
577. Oh, no, she's home.
A little worse for wearCopy !req
578. but intact.Copy !req
579. Strangest thing, though.Copy !req
580. Despite all evidence,Copy !req
581. she's claiming
it never happened.Copy !req
582. Never... what now?Copy !req
583. Says nobody broke in.Copy !req
584. Says she wasn't taken.Copy !req
585. Just went for a wander
for ten hoursCopy !req
586. and then came home
and cooked breakfast.Copy !req
587. Cry for attention, sounds like.Copy !req
588. Drama queen trying to make
her husband sick.Copy !req
589. Who said she has a husband?Copy !req
590. No, I mean, I'm assuming.Copy !req
591. Description said 30s
in the police report, so...Copy !req
592. Well, all I know is,
the woman I met broke looseCopy !req
593. like somebody who knows
how small the cage can get.Copy !req
594. Wish you had that picture.Copy !req
595. Like to meet
that woman again, thank her.Copy !req
596. For what? Far as I can tell,Copy !req
597. she's the one got you shot
in the first place.Copy !req
598. Oh, the job got me shot.Copy !req
599. She was just...Copy !req
600. trying to get free.Copy !req
601. But you know what they say.Copy !req
602. Protect and serve.Copy !req
603. Yeah, I'm down
with "protect," but...Copy !req
604. I ain't in the service industry.Copy !req
605. I'm in the kicking ass
and taking names business.Copy !req
606. You two have a nice day.Copy !req
607. Consider that bitch flummoxed.Copy !req
608. What the heck?Copy !req
609. Hiya, hon.Copy !req
610. What the heck?Copy !req
611. Made some shepherd's pie.Copy !req
612. Scotty.Copy !req
613. What you doing there?Copy !req
614. For security. Mom said.Copy !req
615. Yeah.
Oh.Copy !req
616. Hon...Copy !req
617. Yeah?Copy !req
618. Why is there a sledgehammer
over the front door?Copy !req
619. Well, we talked
about an alarm system,Copy !req
620. but you said we couldn't
afford a good one, so we...Copy !req
621. Well, what the heck is...?Copy !req
622. Oh, no, hon, I wouldn't touch
that. It's electrified.Copy !req
623. It's what?Copy !req
624. It's plugged into the wall.Copy !req
625. Anyone tries to bust in,Copy !req
626. well, they'll get
a righteous shock.Copy !req
627. Hon, c-can we talk? I...Copy !req
628. Wait, how, I'm just gonna...Copy !req
629. How about you go upstairs
and, uh,Copy !req
630. watch some cartoons
on your Samsung?Copy !req
631. Yeah?Copy !req
632. - Yeah.
- Let me get my apron off
at least.Copy !req
633. Uh, Mom came by the lot today.Copy !req
634. Er, well, her man did.Copy !req
635. Uh, she called in.Copy !req
636. Yeah, she...Copy !req
637. I saw her, too.Copy !req
638. But don't worry.Copy !req
639. I think we came
to an understanding.Copy !req
640. She said that, or...?Copy !req
641. - No.
- Oh.Copy !req
642. But women understand each other.Copy !req
643. Well, hon, I don't
think you do...Copy !req
644. u-understand each other.Copy !req
645. She... She's litigating
against you, see.Copy !req
646. She, uh...Copy !req
647. Well, she thinks
you made this whole thing up.Copy !req
648. I... I mean, the whole
thing sounds... loony.Copy !req
649. But she-she thinks you're
some kind of con woman.Copy !req
650. Uh, playing us for our money.Copy !req
651. Uh, in league
with the kidnappers.Copy !req
652. I just...Copy !req
653. Told you, there were
no kidnappers, just...Copy !req
654. Drove around
to-to clear your head.Copy !req
655. But-but, hon, the-the...Copy !req
656. The-the car was here
the whole time.Copy !req
657. Walking, I said, or I-I...Copy !req
658. Listen, I believe you.Copy !req
659. I'm not the one
you got to... I just...Copy !req
660. And she said she can get
the cops out of the equation.Copy !req
661. You know, her friend the
attorney general, but, hon...Copy !req
662. You know, from-from where she's
sitting the-the whole thingCopy !req
663. don't make a lot of sense.Copy !req
664. But it makes sense to us.Copy !req
665. That's what matters, right?Copy !req
666. Yeah, maybe.Copy !req
667. But, hon... wh-why-why is there
a, a-a sledgehammerCopy !req
668. in the vestibule?Copy !req
669. A-And how come Scotty's
making a zombie killer?Copy !req
670. Well, like she said. Security.Copy !req
671. From what?Copy !req
672. Hon...Copy !req
673. No, I-I'm just trying
to, you know...Copy !req
674. No. You can't.
You-you weren't there.Copy !req
675. At the school board.Copy !req
676. Neighbor against neighbor.Copy !req
677. Society's breaking down here.Copy !req
678. The social structure.Copy !req
679. What side you're on,
whether you're for or against,Copy !req
680. I-I'm just saying...Copy !req
681. We need to wake up here.Copy !req
682. Protect ourselves, in case...Copy !req
683. In case what?Copy !req
684. In case...Copy !req
685. ruffians at the door.Copy !req
686. Or Mr. Abernathy decides
he wants revenge.Copy !req
687. Or a thousand other maybes.Copy !req
688. Uh, who?Copy !req
689. Scotty's math teacher.Copy !req
690. The fella I tased
before the cop.Copy !req
691. Y-You tased the math teacher?Copy !req
692. Well...Copy !req
693. I got a bad feeling, hon.Copy !req
694. - Yeah.
- People do.Copy !req
695. It's not just me.Copy !req
696. And I'm, I-I'm not saying
that we should build a bunker.Copy !req
697. Or stockpile long guns.Copy !req
698. A few common sense...Copy !req
699. Hon, y-y-y-you got electric wire
on the windows.Copy !req
700. A few practical solutions.Copy !req
701. Unless you're ready to step upCopy !req
702. and go state of the art, really
sink some capital into it.Copy !req
703. I-I... Should we, I don't know,
sh-sh-sh-should we get a gun?Copy !req
704. See? Oh. Now you're thinking.Copy !req
705. A gun is a great idea.
We should get a shotgun.Copy !req
706. - Oh.
- And maybe a pistol
for the bedroom.Copy !req
707. - Ah.
- And maybe we could
replace my Taser, too.Copy !req
708. And, I don't know,
maybe some kind of net.Copy !req
709. - Just in case they, uh...
- A net?Copy !req
710. - Huh?
- Huh?Copy !req
711. All I'm saying is-is,Copy !req
712. now we're speaking
the same language.Copy !req
713. Oh, you're such a gentle guy.Copy !req
714. - Yeah.
- Yeah.Copy !req
715. I know how hard this is.Copy !req
716. I-I just want to play
floor hockeyCopy !req
717. in my socks with Scotty again
and watch Real Housewives.Copy !req
718. I know.Copy !req
719. And we can and we will.Copy !req
720. Hey. We just got to take care
of a few things first.Copy !req
721. All I ever wanted was...Copy !req
722. Y-You're my dream come true.Copy !req
723. And you're mine.Copy !req
724. Come on, mister.Copy !req
725. Before your daughter's brain
turns to sludge.Copy !req
726. Yeah.Copy !req
727. Hey, Scotty.Copy !req
728. Let's eat!Copy !req
729. Pull in here.
I got to take a piss.Copy !req
730. - Want a pop?
- No, I'm fine.Copy !req
731. Whoa.Copy !req
732. I got us some jerky.Copy !req
733. Spicy kind.Copy !req
734. You better keep
those windows down.Copy !req
735. Fuck, that's hot.Copy !req
736. Where is this guy?Copy !req
737. Oh, my God.Copy !req
738. Oh, my God.Copy !req
739. Oh, shit.Copy !req
740. Oh, shit.Copy !req
741. Now I get it.Copy !req