1. Mr. Nygaard?
Ripped By mstoll
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2. Oh, you betcha.
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3. Yeah.
She's a beaut.
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4. Got the low-water feature,
but don't skimp on torque.
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5. Am I taking the old one?
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6. Yeah, if that's... They said on
the phone it'd be no problem.
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7. Oh, sure.
It's no problem.
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8. The T-160? Hmm, yeah.
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9. Geez. I see why
you're trading her in.
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10. She's a real lemon.
Motor mount.
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11. Chinese used plastic screws.
Bet she bucked like a bronco.
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12. You do not know
the half of it.
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13. Stopped making 'em pretty quick.
Recalled, I think.
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14. Surprised to see her,
truth be told.
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15. You'd be better off washing
your clothes between two rocks.
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16. You know what I mean?
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17. They got Chaz up at
Faribault till the trial.
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18. Gordo's at Red Wing.
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19. Which is...
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20. Well, you know...
At least they're close.
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21. His lawyer thinks we can
plea it down to probation.
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22. Time served.
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23. For murder?
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24. No, Gordo...
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25. On the gun charge.
Oh, yeah.
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26. Chaz? Well, good riddance.
Don't care what that man gets.
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27. No, sir,
not after what he did.
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28. Killing my wife,
you mean?
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29. Oh, well, yeah.
Yeah, of course, that.
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30. But also...
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31. Well, I mean,
look at me.
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32. I was Miss Hubbard County,
for Pete's sake.
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33. You don't cheat on
Miss Hubbard County.
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34. I just don't believe
it, you know.
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35. I mean'
just three weeks ago,
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36. we were sitting around
the table eating ham.
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37. And now Gordo's having
his night terrors again.
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38. Plus, we have to sell everything
lo pay the legal bills.
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39. Did you know... Chaz bought
a time share in a boat?
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40. I didn't even know
that was a thing.
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41. Yeah, it's a thing.
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42. So if there's anything
from the house you want...
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43. You know, like I was thinking
maybe Chars hunting gear?
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44. I boxed it up for you. Not
sure it's anything you want.
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45. Oh, sure. That'd be
fine, thank you.
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46. Well... listen,
if there's anything I can do.
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47. Oh, no... Lester,
you are so sweet.
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48. I am the one who
should be saying that
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49. after what he did
to you, my husband.
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50. Oh, what'd you get?
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51. New washer.
The old one...
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52. Well, I had to get rid of
everything from the basement.
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53. On account of all the...
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54. You deserve it, Lester.
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55. All good things.
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56. You deserve.
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57. Back to it then?
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58. Looks like. Doc
cleared me for duty, so...
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59. More flowers came
for you from Duluth.
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60. A smarter man would think
you were being wooed.
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61. I don't know what
you're talking about.
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62. Put 'em up where we
can see 'em at least.
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63. So, you got a strategy
on this Lester thing?
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64. Well, I'm just gonna walk in
and say, "Bill..."
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65. If you think it's best...
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66. Direct approach.
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67. Your point being?
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68. Got no point.
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69. Okay. Bye, Dad.
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70. Chief, are you busy?
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71. What's that?
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72. Said, "Are you busy?" Got a
request for your attendance.
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73. Can it wait? I just ate an omelet...
Waiting for it to digest
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74. Oh, yeah?
What kind?
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75. It was mushrooms
and cheese.
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76. Sally make it?
Yeah.
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77. She wrapped it in tin
foil to keep it warm.
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78. Molly needs you
is the thing.
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79. Asked me to see if you'd
come down to the staff room.
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80. She's back already?
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81. Yeah.
Hmm.
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82. Thought I had another day.
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83. All right.
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84. Let's go see what
we're gonna do today.
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85. There she is,
the gunfighter.
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86. Hey, Chief.
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87. Nice collage, you take up basket
weaving too in your downtime?
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88. Yeah, it's just some loose
ends I wanted to...
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89. Molly, before you... (CLEARS
THROAT) I want you to know...
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90. I'm not too proud
to say I was wrong
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91. on the Lester case.
I had the wrong idea.
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92. I thought it was
a drifter thing.
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93. Which was the wrong
way to go, clearly.
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94. But, you know, some good police
work, and we caught the guy, so...
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95. That's the problem,
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96. actually, um...
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97. Is that you're still...
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98. Still what?
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99. Wrong.
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100. I mean. No disrespect.
It's just...
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101. It doesn't make any sense.
I mean, the brother?
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102. With all the things
we know are true.
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103. And I've been lying in bed
just thinking about this.
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104. For example, okay, if
it was the brother,
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105. then how do we explain the phone
call from Lester's to the motel...
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106. Molly! Darn it! Now just...
You can't keep going over...
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107. It's time.
You gotta let it go.
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108. We did our job. The brother
Nygaard killed the wife.
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109. And he cornered
and shot the Chief.
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110. And Lester was
covering for him
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111. on account of
the brother thing.
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112. Which explains...
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113. We had drinks
to celebrate.
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114. I had a greyhound.
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115. And Knutson had...
What was it with the cherry?
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116. Rob Roy.
Rob Roy. Yeah.
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117. You had a few of them if I'm not...
Mistaken.
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118. What about the Hess case?
What about it?
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119. Still open. Yeah?
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120. Yeah. No. See...
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121. We're checking to see if the
hooker had a boyfriend,
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122. jealous type...
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123. You know, didn't like her getting
tooled by every Tom, Dick and Jane.
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124. But otherwise...
Who's working that now?
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125. Terry.
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126. Well, that's good.
Yeah.
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127. Except Terry doesn't know
which end of the mop to use
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128. to wash the floor.
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129. He's not the brightest bulb.
I'll give you that.
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130. But he's soldiering through.
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131. Well, good for him.
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132. Except I'm back now.
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133. No.
Chief, please...
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134. Now, Molly... Deputy, now
I would give it to you.
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135. I would.
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136. Except we both
know in two days,
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137. I'd be back in this room with you
pointing at names on that whiteboard,
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138. and me chewing my tie.
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139. Chief, for Pete's sake,
I've got evidence
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140. that puts Lester
Nygaard in a room
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141. with a known killer on the
day of the Hess murder,
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142. and then the next night,
Lester called the guy.
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143. He called him at the motel...
Look!
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144. You can't... That's just
how it is sometimes.
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145. Life. You go to bed unsatisfied.
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146. They're calling the
lottery numbers on the TV
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147. and you get
the first few.
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148. And already
in your mind,
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149. you're buying a jet or
a fjord or whatever.
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150. But it's just
not meant to be.
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151. It's just not
meant to be.
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152. Hey. Look, we're all
real glad to have you back.
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153. Okay? You're a heck
of a police officer.
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154. Tell her about the cake.
Yeah.
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155. The guys are gonna have
a cake for you later.
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156. Try to look surprised.
It's really something.
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157. It's got an assault rifle
on top, made of frosting.
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158. Which I don't know how they do that.
But...
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159. Heya, Lester.
I like your tie.
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160. Thank you. I got it online.
Oh, yeah?
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161. Uh-huh.
Hmm.
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162. Jacket, too.
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163. I was a bit nervous
about it at first.
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164. Had to send the jacket
back once actually.
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165. It was...
Too big in the arms.
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166. Well, I think
you look terrific.
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167. on.
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168. And... I was thinking of making
some chili on Saturday night.
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169. If you maybe
wanted to join me?
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170. Where is he?
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171. You son of a bitch.
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172. I'm gonna bust your balls.
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173. You want me to do it, Ma?
Yeah, Ma, want us to?
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174. Shut up!
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175. I am gonna
bust your balls.
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176. Now, Mrs. Hess,
what can I do for...
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177. Don't you
"Mrs. Hess“ me.
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178. I was picking your pubes
out of my teeth 12 hours ago.
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179. And then I get this?
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180. That is...
This is highly irregular.
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181. I'll make some calls.
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182. Liar!
Mrs. Hess.
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183. Liar. You knew
the whole time...
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184. No, Mrs...
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185. Gina, this is...
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186. Listen, I'm gonna
make some calls.
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187. Like I said, I was
speaking to the guy
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188. from Mid Claims
just yesterday.
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189. He didn't mention
a single thing.
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190. I let you come
inside of me.
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191. That's really gross. Yeah,
Ma, don't talk like that.
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192. We don't need to bring
that into the conversation.
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193. You are gonna get me my
money, you little shit.
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194. $2 million, you've got
until the end of the day.
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195. Or show him
what we'll do.
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196. Jesus! All right.
All right.
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197. Sorry, loser.
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198. Me, too.
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199. Ow.
Ow.
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200. Yeah!
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201. So are we calm?
Are we calm?
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202. Now here's what's gonna happen.
I'm gonna make some calls.
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203. Like I said.
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204. Because this is
the first that I've...
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205. But if it's true, if Sam
did miss some payments,
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206. then, well, they're
within their rights to...
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207. I think we might
have a problem here.
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208. That was...
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209. I'm sorry you had
to see that, Linda.
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210. No, I'm... That was...
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211. You're amazing.
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212. He'll be right out.
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213. Follow.
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214. Sir? We...
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215. What Agent Pepper is trying to
say, the Syndicate spree killing,
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216. yes, technically, we were there outside...
In our car... While it was...
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217. But you have to...
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218. You have to see
it as a positive
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219. because it leaves us,
myself and Agent Budge,
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220. it leaves us...
Poised.
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221. That's the word we like.
Poised to catch this guy.
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222. Because, sir, first of
all, we got this photo
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223. from an ATM
across the street.
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224. It captures our...
A single individual
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225. who's clearly
armed and about to...
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226. Now, the photo is
not great, but...
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227. I... We were thinking
definitely white male.
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228. Sir?
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229. Listen. Sir...
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230. This is where you work now.
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231. We are highly effective,
highly trained...
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232. I have a commendation.
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233. A commendation?
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234. That's your...
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235. Okay.
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236. Okay. It's...
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237. We're still good. We're still alive.
He could have...
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238. It could be worse, right?
Much, much worse.
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239. This right here?
Two weeks... Tops.
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240. Just wants to see us sweat a little...
Feel the...
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241. I mean, it's only fair.
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242. I can see that
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243. We did...
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244. I mean,
22 people did get killed,
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245. and we're sitting
in the car like a couple of...
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246. Yeah, we're okay.
We're all right.
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247. I've never heard
of a deaf hit man.
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248. Carolina Murphy
had his tongue
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249. cut out by an Indian
back in the '80s.
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250. He worked a little after that,
but never quite the same.
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251. Buzz Mead.
You know Buzz?
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252. He was born
with just a socket.
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253. He used to take
his glass eye out
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254. at parties and
drop it in his drink.
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255. He was a shit shot though.
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256. Now the other fella,
your partner.
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257. He can hear just fine.
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258. We had a kind of chat
before I cut his throat.
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259. You're unemployed now,
by the way
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260. in case you don't
read the papers.
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261. I'll kill you!
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262. I watched a bear once.
Its leg was in a steel trap.
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263. It chewed through
bloody bone to get free.
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264. That was in Alaska.
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265. It died about an hour later,
face down in a stream.
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266. Well, it was on his
own terms, you know?
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267. You got close...
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268. Closer than anybody else.
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269. I don't know if it was you
or your partner, but look...
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270. If you still feel raw about things
when you heal up, come see me.
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271. Just me and Bill, right?
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272. Slow night...
And the call comes in.
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273. He don't like when
I tell this story.
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274. Heard you
got some flowers.
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275. Yeah, some people do love
to flap their lips.
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276. More than once
is what I heard.
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277. Well, there's a suitor...
Is all I'm prepared to say.
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278. Vern was so bad
at courtship.
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279. One time he gave me
a bouquet of poison ivy.
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280. Picked it himself.
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281. He's up in Duluth...
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282. My gentleman.
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283. Has a daughter.
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284. What's his name?
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285. They call him Sergio.
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286. He's a pirate,
I think.
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287. Very funny, you.
Well.
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288. Yours is the
one with the icing clip.
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289. And, Ida, your frosting comes
from the barrel. I think.
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290. Good to have everyone together
again, don't you think?
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291. It's like one big, happy...
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292. Which is good, is all.
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293. I wanted to thank you...
For catching the guy.
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294. Not me.
I was in bed.
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295. Stop. You were in the
hospital with a bullet.
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296. No.
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297. Bill may have made the arrest, but
we both know who did the real work.
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298. He's not convicted yet.
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299. I mean,
not all the evidence...
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300. For me,
there are still...
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301. But, yeah, no, I'm...
Glad it's behind us.
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302. Ugh.
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303. Deputy Solverson.
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304. Yeah, hi. It's Gus...
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305. Grimly.
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306. Oh, yeah, hi.
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307. So, what's happening then?
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308. You know, on patrol.
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309. Oh, sure. Yeah.
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310. I helped a fella who got his
privates stuck to a mailbox.
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311. Oh.
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312. Didn't like his mail?
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313. Something like that.
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314. There's the hearing tomorrow
on the shooting.
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315. Oh, yeah.
That's...
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316. That's tomorrow.
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317. Well, just tell the truth.
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318. Don't you think?
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319. It was a white out,
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320. and you saw a shadow
and you shot at it.
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321. But leave out the part...
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322. Leave out the part where
the person you shot was me.
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323. I am really sorry about that.
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324. Yeah. I gathered from
the volume of flowers.
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325. Too much?
No.
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326. No, it's nice.
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327. So... I saw
in the paper this morning,
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328. the logging festival's
coming up
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329. over in your neck of the...
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330. And Greta, she really
likes going in that.
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331. Yeah, me too.
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332. Yeah? Good.
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333. Good. Well, maybe...
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334. I mean,
maybe we'll see you there.
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335. Yeah, a certainty
if we go together.
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336. Yeah. Yeah, that's...
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337. You're right about that.
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338. And when you're right,
you're right.
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339. On Friday, there's chainsaw carving, and...
All you can eat.
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340. And on Saturday they
roast a pig underground.
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341. I've never had it, but
it's supposed to be good.
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342. Oh, I didn't know that
you could do that.
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343. On Sundays, they do a
pie-eating contest.
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344. Yeah, yeah. No... I like
to just go for the food.
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345. Greta likes all the different
contests they have.
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346. Have you ever
seen the guys,
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347. they go all the way up
to the top of the tree...
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348. They've got like bells
and the spikey shoes...
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349. Dad? Come in, Dad.
Over.
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350. Dad here, come back.
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351. What's the deal
with dinner? Oven.
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352. Yeah, just finishing up. Thought
we'd do tacos tonight. Over.
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353. Okay. Don't forget the red sauce.
Over and out.
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354. I'm home!
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355. You forgot the food,
didn't you?
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356. Mom home?
Yeah.
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357. That your dad?
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358. Did he remember
the red sauce?
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359. Oh, shoot.
I can go back.
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360. No. It's okay.
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361. I think we got some left
from last time.
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362. Go get changed up,
you, and let's eat.
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363. I'm starving.
Yeah.
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364. Just put 'em on the table.
Okay.
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365. Thanks, Greta.
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366. Okay.
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367. Dad wants to know
about the game Sunday.
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368. Watch at his place or...
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369. I thought we could watch it here.
I could make that pasta thing.
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370. Um.
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371. The one with the peas?
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372. Capers.
You liked it last time.
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373. Oh, don't forget we got that thing at
Ida's on Saturday... The anniversary.
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374. No. I remember. It was a
week before I met you.
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375. Anniversary of what?
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376. It's just your...
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377. Molly had a friend of hers
that got killed last year.
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378. So we'll go over there
and pay our respects.
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379. It was...
Vern, right?
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380. Yeah. He was the Chief before Bill.
Hired me.
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381. Ida, the lady with the baby...
Yeah?
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382. Is his wife.
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383. Which, speaking of, she asked
if we could bring drinks.
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384. Yeah, I still got some of
that Halloween beer I made.
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385. I seem to remember you
spitting that on the floor.
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386. Yeah, I'll go to the store.
Mmm-hmm.
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387. You okay?
Oh, sure.
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388. Just hard to sit that long.
Legs go to sleep.
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389. FBI.
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390. Hi.
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391. Deputy Solverson again,
Bemidji police.
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392. Yes?
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393. I called a couple times
now about
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394. the Fargo
Syndicate massacre
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395. howl might know
the fella responsible
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396. meaning he's
a suspect in a case.
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397. Yeah, I see your
name on the computer.
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398. Looks like those suspicions were
investigated and dismissed.
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399. Yeah. They sent a fella down,
but I'm not sure he really...
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400. Do you have any
new information?
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401. No. No, I just...
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402. A lot of people are dead.
So...
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403. I'll put a note on the
file that you called.
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404. Okay, but...
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405. I wouldn't expect
a call back though.
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406. We're pretty busy these days,
with the PATRIOT Act and all.
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407. File room.
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408. A room with files.
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409. Say you took
one of 'em out.
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410. Took it where?
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411. Doesn't matter.
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412. Say you took one
of the files out...
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413. Is it still the file room?
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414. Pizza today, right?
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415. In the cafeteria.
Or is it meatloaf?
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416. No, I'm saying that
you and I both agree
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417. that the file room
minus one file
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418. is still the file room.
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419. Now, say you took another one out.
And then another.
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420. If the file room minus one
file is still the file room,
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421. and you keep subtracting
one at a time,
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422. you could end up
with zero files.
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423. I'm saying, logically
or even negative files.
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424. And it would still be the... How
do you have negative files?
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425. No. I'm just...
Logically, I'm saying.
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426. Except no one's taking files.
They just bring more.
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427. What about a cemetery,
I mean,
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428. remove one body from a cemetery,
it's still a cemetery.
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429. But a cemetery
with no bodies,
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430. what's that?
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431. Condos.
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432. Okay, and this is... Well,
these are my officers, so...
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433. Where is everybody?
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434. Coffee run.
Who's this then?
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435. This is Tahir. He's...
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436. Hey.
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437. Hello, I am Tahir.
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438. I'm Molly,
Deputy Solverson.
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439. Yeah. So remember I told you me and
Sally were taking in a foster?
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440. Yeah, from Africa.
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441. Yeah, except...
lam from Sudan.
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442. You know Lost Boy?
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443. I sure do.
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444. Welcome to America. I thought
there was a problem though.
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445. Oh, I'll say!
The kid disappeared.
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446. Disappeared how?
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447. Oh, tell her the story.
Oh. Ha.
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448. This is the craziest thing. All right?
Go on. You tell her.
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449. In my village, I tend goats.
You know goats?
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450. Uh-huh.
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451. One day, men came
and kill everyone.
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452. Mothers, fathers,
brothers, sisters.
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453. Geez.
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454. I alone am free.
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455. Three days I walk,
then I meet nice people...
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456. Americans.
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457. These nice people put me
airplane to America.
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458. Land of free.
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459. Home of brave.
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460. Yeah, to us.
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461. He's coming to live with us.
Go on.
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462. At the airport, man
says, "Take bag?"
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463. He says, "Get in the car,"
but he doesn't come back.
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464. Guy stole his bag. Can you believe it?
A refugee.
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465. One day and one night,
I wait at the airport,
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466. but this man,
he does not come back.
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467. I had no money
and no paper.
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468. Nice woman says,
"Tell policeman,“
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469. but I am afraid. I told her
I have a family waiting...
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470. Nice family...
American family.
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471. But the name is in
the bag and the number.
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472. Nice woman give me coat
and money to take the bus.
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473. So not all bad.
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474. I take the bus
to the city.
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475. But I am very hungry,
four days I no eat.
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476. Then I see a store.
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477. You know...
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478. "July in January"?
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479. Phoenix Farms.
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480. Yes, Phoenix Farms.
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481. Should Hell her this?
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482. So... He shoplifts...
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483. Takes some food.
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484. In fact he does it every
day for, how long?
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485. Three months.
Three months.
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486. Meanwhile, we're frantic.
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487. You remember? All those phone calls?
Me raising my voice?
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488. "How could you lose a kid from
Africa in freaking Minnesota?"
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489. Every day I steal food,
but... I am ashamed.
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490. I don't want to steal.
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491. I want to work,
but what work can I do?
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492. Then a week ago,
Sally and I are
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493. heading into
the city to the ballet.
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494. You went to the ballet?
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495. Sally likes the ballet, yeah, so...
Go ahead, finish.
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496. I am looking around the store.
Skittles and peanut butter cups.
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497. Then this man grabs me,
I think I am arrested.
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498. It's me, is the
point of the story.
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499. All those weeks
looking for the kid...
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500. Writing letters, making phone calls.
We even put up flyers.
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501. And then, I stop by a supermarket
in a city I don't live,
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502. all so Sally can have Chex Mix at
the ballet, and there's the kid.
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503. What are the odds?
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504. I can't even imagine.
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505. I am so worried...
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506. And thinking lam arrested,
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507. but Mr. Bill is hugging
me and crying.
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508. Well, you know...
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509. And look where I am at. Who I'm with.
My... American family.
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510. Sally says it's a miracle.
I don't know. It might be.
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511. But don't question the
universe, that's my motto.
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512. Sometimes
things just work out.
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513. Yeah, I like to
think that's true.
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514. We found ya, buddy.
We found ya.
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515. (ON TV) It causes you to have hallucinations.
(ON TV) What?
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516. I'll be glad to
explain it to you.
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517. It's a sort of a nightmare
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518. where your dreams go pell-mell,
helter-skelter and amok.
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519. Oh, shut up!
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520. Pell-mell!
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521. Hello. Inspector Clancy
speaking. What?
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522. You need something?
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523. No, I'm good.
Go back to sleep.
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524. Stand back, everybody. I've got
you covered, stand back.
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525. What's the meaning of this? Police
parading all over the hotel.
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526. Who sent for you?
Why are you here?
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527. This is Mr. William's suite.
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528. Mr. Williams
has been murdered.
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529. Quiet, everybody.
You'll be quiet.
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530. And that goes for all of you.
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531. Yeah, the chief is right.
Noise, bed-ly-ham, who can think?
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532. Well, you can't.
So shut up. Where's the body?
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533. In there.
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534. Now what did
you do that for?
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535. Isn't a girl
supposed to scream
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536. when she knows she's
gonna see a dead body?
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537. Quiet. Now come on
in here, all of you.
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538. We're doing good.
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539. I'm up.
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540. Sorry.
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541. I was just saying
we're doing good.
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542. Mmm-hmm.
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543. We got everything we need.
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544. Mmm-hmm.
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545. Well, I'm going
to sleep.
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546. Yeah, me, too.
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547. (ON TV) Oh, it's
Jeff, the night porter.
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548. I left him here
to watch the body.
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549. What happened?
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550. What happened?
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551. I was standing around,
scared stiff,
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552. and all of a sudden,
the lights went out.
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553. Then something
hit me on the head,
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554. and then the lights
went out again.
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555. That's all I know and that's all
I'm gonna wait around to find out.
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556. Stun Meadows,
everybody! Give it up.
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557. How does he do it?
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558. Check your wallets,
ladies and gentlemen.
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559. Make sure he didn't
make those vanish, too.
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560. It's been a big
year for insurance...
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561. A banner year.
Reserve trends are up.
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562. And...
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563. Loss ratios are down
a whopping 17%.
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564. Those are just numbers.
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565. We all know that behind
every insurance policy...
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566. And the reinsurance policy
covering that policy,
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567. there's a salesman.
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568. A man or woman knocking
on doors, making calls,
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569. matching people and businesses with
the right plan for their needs,
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570. And so without further delay,
I give you...
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571. Insurance Salesman of the Year 2007...
Lester Nygaard!
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572. Thank you.
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573. Thank you so much.
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574. Thank you so much. That...
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575. Oh, geez,
that's a real honor.
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576. Um...
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577. Now...
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578. I knew I should
have memorized this.
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579. It suddenly doesn't look...
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580. Speak from the heart.
Speak from the heart. Okay.
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581. Those of you that know me,
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582. know it's been a tough year
for me personally.
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583. And that I wouldn't
have gotten through it
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584. without the love and support
of my beautiful wife, Linda.
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585. Let's give her a hand.
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586. I love you.
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587. You can go through
your whole life...
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588. Without a care.
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589. And one day,
it all changes.
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590. People die.
They lose their homes.
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591. They go to prison.
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592. It's calamity. I know
it, 'cause I lived it.
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593. And if this year has
taught me anything...
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594. Believe me,
I've seen it all.
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595. It's that
the worst does happen...
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596. And you need to be insured. Thank
you so much. It's a great honor.
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597. So proud of ya, Lester.
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598. Aw, thanks, hon.
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599. You tired?
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600. Oh, aren't you?
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601. Well...
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602. Um...
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603. No. Actually, I'm feeling
pretty keyed up.
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604. I might grab
a nightcap at the bar.
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605. You want me to go...
No, no, no.
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606. You go up to bed.
I'll be up shortly.
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607. Just... It's my night.
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608. I'm sorry,
I'm such a downer.
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609. You're a sunny day.
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610. Go on.
I'll be up presently.
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611. Hi.
Hey. Big night, huh?
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612. Salesman of the Year.
Oh.
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613. Drugs?
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614. Insurance.
Ah.
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615. They really give an award to the
guy who sells the most drugs?
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616. Pharmaceuticals.
That makes more sense.
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617. So what are you drinking?
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618. Something dangerous.
Let's have a look.
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619. Ah, oh, a blood and sand,
what's that?
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620. Scotch and blood orange.
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621. That's the one.
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622. All right.
Copy !req
623. And then I sit down
and every... Oh, Miss?
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624. Can we have some more
sparkling water? Thanks.
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625. Anyways... So, I say,
Copy !req
626. "Hi, I'm Dr. Michaelson. Nice
to meet you and everything."
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627. And I get ready to
give him the novocaine shot...
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628. Stick it in my own finger.
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629. And it hurt, but I don't
wanna look stupid, so I...
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630. Ripped By mstoll
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