1. Hey.
What are you working on?
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2. Oh, just trying to make some
sense of these numbers.
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3. What the...
What did you hit?
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4. What happened to
my spreadsheet?
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5. What exactly was the endgame
if I hadn't walked in?
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6. Ugh, there's nothing worse
than grocery shopping
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7. on the day before
Thanksgiving.
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8. Yeah, that's the sound
a rich family's turkey makes.
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9. There's still a lot more
groceries in the car.
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10. Well, it's not a race.
Take a break.
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11. Ugh, if you knew
how close we were
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12. to putting you
down last year.
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13. Geez, what's her problem?
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14. Eh, Thanksgiving's
exhausting.
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15. You know what
she could use?
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16. A little sip
of that drink I invented.
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17. Hi! Stewie Griffin here
with my latest creation:
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18. Monster Energy Drink.
What is it? I don't know,
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19. but it's free from this truck
that stopped outside your work.
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20. Mix it with booze. Ever been
wide-awake-blacked-out?
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21. Ever try to jump over
a train on a bike?
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22. Ever bit the beak off a bird?
Monster Energy:
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23. put it in your body
and ask questions later.
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24. It's green, so it's nature.
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25. We now return to Guy Friends.
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26. So, you must
be pretty pumped.
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27. For what?
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28. Oh. Olympics.
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29. Oh, yeah. I guess
that's starting soon.
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30. I thought you were
a big Olympics guy.
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31. Yeah, I like 'em okay.
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32. Huh.
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33. Mail's here.
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34. Any fliers of Hispanic women
running for city council?
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35. Yeah, there is.
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36. Thank you.
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37. Peter, you got a letter
from your sister Karen.
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38. What? You've got
a sister, Dad?
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39. How come we've
never met her?
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40. Is she a prim and proper
aunt
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41. or a big, fat,
dirty aunt?
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42. I have no obligation
to tell any of you anything.
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43. Mr. Griffin has shown good
faith in appearing here today
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44. and will not be subjected
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45. to this sort of
hostile interrogation.
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46. Your father doesn't like to
talk about his sister, Meg.
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47. They've never
really gotten along.
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48. Wow, Peter.
In all the years I've known you,
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49. you've never even
mentioned a sister.
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50. Big deal, I don't
talk about my sister.
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51. I also don't talk about
that tickling uncle.
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52. All right, Uncle Dan,
no tickling.
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53. You got it.
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54. You didn't say anything
about Uncle Neil.
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55. Whose uncles are you?
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56. It says here your sister's
coming for Thanksgiving.
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57. She what?
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58. If we're having
guests, can I invite
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59. Rosario Vargas from
the third district,
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60. a leader you
can depend on?
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61. I don't want
Karen here.
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62. Peter, you've been avoiding
your sister for too long.
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63. Besides, she says she's been
having Thanksgiving
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64. with your mother for
the last 20 years.
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65. And now that your mom
has passed,
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66. she'd like to spend
Thanksgiving with you.
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67. No.
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68. Peter, Karen's coming
and that's that.
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69. How cool! I didn't
even know I had an aunt.
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70. I can't wait
to meet her.
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71. Look, I'm telling you guys,
it's gonna be a disaster.
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72. Just like the alternate
ending of Back to the Future.
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73. Well, if I'm gonna
disappear into nothing,
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74. I might as well bang my mom.
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75. Hey, Lorraine, wait up!
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76. Hi! My name's Marty!
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77. I'm in a picture!
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78. To be contondered!
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79. We now return to The Cosby Show,
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80. knowing what we know now.
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81. Huh. I was so busy
not seeing color,
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82. I didn't see the raping, either.
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83. Okay, everyone.
It'll be another hour
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84. before the turkey's done,
but I made more appetizers.
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85. Ooh, grape jelly on a Triscuit.
You're a whiz.
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86. Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down.
Save your appetite.
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87. And don't think
I haven't noticed
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88. you've already had two drinks.
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89. You're, like, all the worst
parts of a girlfriend.
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90. Oh. That must be Karen.
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91. I'll get it. Aunt Karen?
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92. And you must be Meg.
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93. Do that to me!
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94. Wow, it's so cool that I've got
an aunt I didn't know about.
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95. Oh, Karen, I'm so happy
you could make it.
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96. Lois Pewterschmidt.
The one that got away.
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97. I'm just joshing, kid.
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98. Auntie's not a biscuit-bumper.
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99. I'm not, either!
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100. Peter, come say hello
to your sister.
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101. Fine.
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102. Hey, Karen.
Welcome to our...
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103. Bring it in, Pee Pee!
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104. I like her.
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105. Hello. I am City Councilwoman
Rosario Vargas.
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106. Quahog doesn't work if
it doesn't work for all of us.
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107. That's a beautiful
pantsuit, Ms. Vargas.
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108. Wow, Karen,
nice to meet you.
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109. I'm Glenn Quagmire.
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110. I didn't know
Peter even had a sister.
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111. What are you,
ashamed of me, Chin Nuts?
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112. Oh, my God. His chin kind
of does look like nuts.
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113. Ha, ha! I never
noticed that.
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114. How could you
not notice it?
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115. Watch this,
I-I'll punch him in the nuts.
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116. Eh, sort of clever.
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117. Wait a second. I know you.
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118. You're that lady wrestler.
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119. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
he's right.
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120. Hey, w-what do they
call you again?
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121. Heavy Flo.
You're Heavy Flo!
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122. In the flesh and blood.
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123. Gross.
Man, you're amazing.
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124. I remember when you called out
Andrea the Giant
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125. the day after September 11.
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126. What just happened was
a national tragedy,
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127. but it's nothing compared
to what I'm gonna do
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128. to Andrea the Giant!
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129. We will never forget
what happened yesterday,
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130. but you'll also never forget
what's gonna happen September 17
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131. at the Jack Witschi
Sports Arena!
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132. Peter, I can't believe you've
kept your sister a secret.
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133. She's amazing!
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134. Yeah, she's crazy strong.
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135. Like Superman on a date.
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136. Yeah, I wasn't here,
but I heard her scream,
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137. so I came flying in
and found her like this.
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138. It's weird.
Same cause of death
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139. as those three guys
in that local public bathroom.
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140. Unsolvable.
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141. Now do you see why I didn't
want Karen here, Lois?
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142. She terrorized me
my whole childhood.
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143. Now she's got to embarrass
me in front of my friends?
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144. Peter, Bonnie just
changed Joe on the table.
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145. What are you
worried about?
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146. Still, I don't want
to go back out there.
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147. Look, I know
you've had your differences,
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148. but Karen's your sister.
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149. And you're grown-ups now.
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150. Can't you just go out there
and pretend to have a good time?
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151. Fine, I'll play along.
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152. I guess I've lied before.
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153. Where you going?
Home.
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154. Where's home?
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155. The White House.
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156. Okay, I'm here.
This is my house.
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157. You can go now.
Thanks for taking me home.
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158. Go ahead, go inside.
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159. I will.
You can drive away now.
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160. No, no, I-I want to make
sure you get inside safe.
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161. Yeah, but I-I got to look
through the mail first.
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162. You know how it is.
Really, I insist.
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163. I-It's totally okay. Go.
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164. At this point, it's more
about me than it is you.
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165. It's a bad
neighborhood.
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166. If I don't see
you go inside,
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167. I'll be thinking
about it all night.
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168. Uh... come on in,
Mr. President!
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169. And then, so I'm like, "Peter,
how was I supposed to know
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170. you didn't want your teammates
to know you wore a bra?"
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171. It was a custom-designed
sports halter top.
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172. More stories!
More stories!
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173. Hey, tell one where
Peter is a nincompoop
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174. or maybe a Silly Billy.
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175. Oh, man.
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176. Okay, let's just
carve the turkey.
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177. Oh, Aunt Karen
already carved it.
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178. She did?
But that's my thing.
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179. I always do my "are you a leg
man or a breast man" joke.
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180. Aunt Karen
did that, too.
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181. It was hilarious.
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182. I never really got it
until she said it.
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183. Ha, ha!
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184. Hey, Karen,
later you got to show us
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185. some of your wrestling holds.
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186. Yeah, what's that trademark
finishing move of yours?
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187. The Toxic Shock.
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188. Oh, yeah,
that move is badass!
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189. You're awesome.
Know what else is awesome?
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190. This stuffing.
Thank you, Glenn.
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191. You're welcome.
I'm in a good mood.
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192. Sure, what the hell,
I'll show you my moves.
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193. Maybe after dinner.
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194. No, no, no. The family
football game is after dinner.
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195. We do it every year!
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196. Peter, calm down.
You're making a scene.
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197. It's not my fault, Lois.
She's ruining Thanksgiving!
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198. The way Tim Burton
ruined the Fourth of July!
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199. Fat chicks with black hair
get tattoos of me!
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200. God, I love this time of year.
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201. It's just past
all the amazing colors of fall,
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202. and before the white of winter.
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203. Just brown and gray.
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204. Magical.
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205. All right, let's do this.
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206. All right, listen up,
I'm the captain.
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207. The teams are chosen by
a lottery system where...
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208. Aunt Karen, can I
be on your team?
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209. Yeah, yeah, me, too!
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210. Uh, yeah, sure,
I'll take, uh,
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211. Meg, Skinny,
Hot Chocolate and The Bus.
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212. Pee Pee, you get
the crumbs.
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213. Let's go.
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214. All right, let's do it, Pop!
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215. I'm gonna make some
sports points for you!
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216. We'll kick off.
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217. Hey, time-out!
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218. Did anyone tape the parade?
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219. Please tell me
someone taped the parade!
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220. Oh, my God! She's
doing The Toxic Shock!
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221. Y-Y-You're a j-jerk, K-K-Karen!
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222. What the hell was that?
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223. That's his stutter.
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224. And whenever he stutters,
he usually pees his pants.
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225. N-No, I... d-d-don't.
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226. Oh.
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227. So this is football.
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228. I like it.
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229. Hi, Dad.
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230. Look, I-I just want you to know,
I feel bad about what happened
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231. with you and Aunt Karen
the other day.
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232. Oh, you mean when she put me in
that no-bottom James Bond chair
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233. and assaulted my grundle?
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234. I didn't even
know about that.
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235. Well, that's 'cause
it didn't happen.
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236. I'd kick her ass if she
tried something like that!
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237. Dad, stop. Even I can see
that your sister's a huge bully.
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238. And trust me, I know more about
getting bullied than anyone.
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239. You do? How?
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240. Man, I love that song.
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241. Dad, what I'm trying
to tell you is,
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242. I now see why you've been
so tough on me all these years.
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243. 'Cause it makes
my friends laugh?
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244. No, because that's how
Aunt Karen treated you
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245. when you were a kid.
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246. That's right. And that's why
you need to confront Karen.
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247. Oh, no. Oh, no.
No, I can't do that.
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248. I tried for years
to stand up to her.
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249. Nothing ever worked.
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250. What, so now
you're gonna quit?
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251. You can't quit.
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252. What if Muhammad Ali had quit?
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253. Ah, my grandchildren!
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254. Who would like me
to read them a book,
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255. or maybe paint their name
on a grain of rice?
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256. Honey, dinnertime!
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257. Ah, my favorite.
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258. Hot soup.
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259. Right in there.
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260. Dad, I know you can
stand up to Aunt Karen.
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261. And maybe if you finally do,
she'll stop terrorizing you,
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262. and you won't have to
take it out on me
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263. for the rest of my life.
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264. You know what, Meg?
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265. You're right!
I'm gonna do it!
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266. You are?
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267. Damn right!
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268. Yay, Dad!
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269. I am gonna become
a lady wrestler
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270. and defeat Heavy Flo
in the ring.
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271. Wait. What? No! What?
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272. I meant go talk to her.
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273. Nope, it's got to be a
lady wrestling match.
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274. Hey, Meg,
Thanksgiving's over.
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275. Come help me
with the Christmas decorations.
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276. Meg! Help me with
the Christmas decorations!
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277. Comments? Questions?
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278. What the hell are you...
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279. I'm sorry. Chris had
his hand up first.
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280. Chris?
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281. What's the capital
of Maryland?
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282. I do not know, but that's
a very good question.
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283. Now, Lois?
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284. Peter, what the hell
are you doing?
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285. First, it's not Peter.
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286. When I am in this outfit,
I am Maxi Paddy,
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287. the fiercest enemy of Heavy Flo.
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288. Peter, you look—
okay, that's clever—
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289. but, Peter,
you look ridiculous.
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290. Take that off.
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291. If you want to settle things
with your sister,
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292. just go talk to her.
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293. No, Lois, the only way to
settle a family dispute
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294. is in the cage.
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295. I mean, you don't understand.
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296. Karen made me feel worse than
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297. a guy getting cut
from a baseball team.
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298. You wanted to
see me, Coach?
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299. I'm sorry, Kyle.
You can't do this boring,
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300. stupid thing with us.
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301. All right, Peter,
your sister's the real deal.
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302. So I arranged for you
to get some combat pointers
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303. from my old buddy,
Steven Seagal.
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304. Uh, this... this fat guy?
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305. Yup. Go on, ask him anything.
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306. How... how did...?
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307. Uh, why-why you so fat?
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308. Okay, ask him about
anything but his weight.
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309. Uh...
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310. uh, you act Asian,
you look Native American,
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311. your name is possibly Jewish.
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312. What are you?
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313. He fat.
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314. All right, Peter,
most professional wrestlers
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315. become addicted to painkillers
at some point.
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316. So I figure,
why don't we just start now?
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317. Uh... okay,
yeah, I'm in.
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318. Where you getting
all these?
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319. Stepdaughter's purse.
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320. Ain't my problem.
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321. Man, I love putting my hand down
my pants when I'm on drugs.
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322. We should just go live on a
boat in some guy's backyard.
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323. So, you gonna do
that wrestling stuff?
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324. Nah, I'm gonna
stick with these.
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325. I would crime
for more of these.
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326. Okay, now if you're gonna defeat
your sister in the ring,
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327. you got to get to the root
of your fears.
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328. We got to go back
to your childhood,
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329. so I'm gonna
hypnotize you.
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330. Okay, go back.
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331. Now, we need to go
back in time.
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332. My jeans are husky.
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333. Okay, further. Further.
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334. Little further.
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335. Now, open your eyes
and tell me what you see.
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336. I see the six
stations of the Lord's order,
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337. and they will all burn!
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338. Okay, too far!
Too far! Too far!
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339. Come back. Come back.
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340. Come back.
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341. Hey,
can I make my husky jeans
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342. into cutoffs
for swimming?
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343. Ah, forget it. You're ready.
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344. Yeah, Peter.
I think you're gonna win!
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345. All right! Hey, thanks for
all your help, you guys.
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346. You know, there's
only two things
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347. I've wanted to do
my whole life:
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348. put my sister in her place
and go to Chico's Monkey Farm.
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349. Chico's Monkey Farm!
Now open pending how it goes.
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350. And we've got quite a match
tonight between Heavy Flo
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351. and another woman
whose name I've forgotten
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352. but I'm sure is a gross pun.
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353. Right you are, Bill.
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354. Tonight, she's up against
Her Vajesty's Secret Cervix.
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355. Interesting fact:
these two gals have
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356. over eight meters of
ass crack between them.
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357. One! Two! Three!
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358. It's over!
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359. And once again, a Heavy Flo has
ruined another lady's evening!
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360. You ain't no champ!
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361. Not till you go through me!
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362. Who the hell are you?
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363. I'm Maxi Paddy, which is
short for Maxine Patricia.
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364. I was named after my father,
Maxwell Patrick.
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365. But that's enough about me.
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366. I'm here to kick your ass!
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367. Get out of here!
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368. I'm not fighting some fat loser
from the crowd.
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369. Huh. It looks like
this Heavy Flo is pee,
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370. because you're yellow!
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371. Oh!
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372. Well, that didn't
quite track,
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373. but the crowd
seems to be on board.
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374. It sure does!
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375. Looks like Heavy Flo
has a challenger!
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376. All right, get up here,
but make it quick.
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377. I got a Lampoon
reunion to get to.
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378. Heavy Flo, always
finding a way
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379. to drop her Harvard degree
into conversation.
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380. Yes, very
off-putting, Bill.
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381. Those of us who went to Harvard
really don't appreciate it.
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382. Ow! Damn it, Karen!
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383. Karen?
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384. Peter, is that you?
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385. What are you doing here?
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386. Something I should have done
a long time ago.
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387. I'm tired of you bullying me!
You're going down!
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388. Butt-scratcher?
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389. Butt-scratcher!
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390. D-D-D-Don't, K-K-Karen!
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391. Toxic Shock! Toxic Shock!
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392. Oh, my God,
she's taking it too far!
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393. Heavy Flo is gonna break
this girl's arms!
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394. Woman's arms.
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395. Come on, Bill.
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396. N-N-No!
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397. Tell... Stewie...
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398. he's in charge of the show now.
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399. Say hello to Teen LaQueefa!
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400. One! Two! Three!
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401. I don't believe it!
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402. Heavy Flo is down, and
we have a new champion!
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403. I tell you, this is
one for the books,
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404. if anyone kept track
of this nonsense!
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405. Wow, you really
saved me!
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406. Thanks, stranger.
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407. Dad, it's me.
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408. Meg?
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409. It was you who saved me?
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410. That's right, Dad.
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411. Wow, even after all the
crummy stuff I've done to you?
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412. But why?
Because you're my dad.
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413. And I couldn't stand by
and watch you get hurt.
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414. Wow. Thanks, Meg.
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415. You know, that's something
even my own mom and dad
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416. never did for me.
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417. They just stood by and
let Karen pick on me.
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418. Well, you deserve better.
We all do.
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419. You know, Meg, I'm really sorry
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420. I treated you so badly
over the years.
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421. I guess I was taking out
all the pain I felt on you.
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422. I understand.
Better than anybody.
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423. But I still love you, Dad.
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424. I love you, too, Meg.
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425. Did somebody order
a hot-ass bitch and this lady?
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426. Oh, you're alive.
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427. Sorry, I was told
I was in charge now.
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428. Well, if you die,
this is kind of
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429. the creative direction
I'm leaning toward.
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430. Well, I'm proud of you, Dad.
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431. You finally stood up
for yourself.
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432. So, Peter,
have you talked to Karen?
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433. I called, like, four times, but
she's not out of the coma yet.
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434. Apparently, they usually
use fake chairs,
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435. but Meg used a real one.
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436. Do they think
she's gonna survive?
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437. It could go either way.
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438. Hello? No, I think I'm a
different blood type.
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439. No, I don't
want to check.
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440. Doctor says there's
nothing they can do.
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