1. Where are you going?
Copy !req
2. I'm going to Quagmire's
to get some hand-me-downs.
Copy !req
3. His dad-mom sent over
some boxes of men's clothes
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4. from back before the ol'
chippety-choppety.
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5. You shouldn't wear
people's old, dirty clothes.
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6. Well, I'm a dirty guy, Lois.
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7. Haven't you ever seen
my naughty,
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8. late-night, party-line
commercials?
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9. Hey, are you lonely?
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10. Do you like to party
with hot girls?
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11. What about horsing around
with fat guys?
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12. Well, what are you
waiting for?
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13. Give us a call.
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14. I'll be on the toilet,
wearing a T-shirt
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15. that's so long
I have to hold it
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16. under my chin
while I wipe.
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17. Wow, your dad doesn't
use this Dickie anymore?
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18. That's crazy.
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19. Why would anyone get rid
of a perfectly good Dickie?
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20. I see what you're doing,
and cut it out.
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21. Hey, what are these?
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22. Oh, my God, I haven't
seen these in years!
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23. What do you got there?
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24. Some kind of home movie
from the Orient?
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25. No, no, this is
Winter Summer.
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26. It was a Korean soap opera
that I was in.
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27. You were in a
Korean soap opera?
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28. Yeah, back when the Navy
had me stationed in Busan,
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29. I saw an ad in the paper
for guys over five-foot-four,
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30. and I was the only one
who showed up.
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31. Next thing I know,
I'm on TV,
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32. playing a guy
named American Johnny.
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33. Wow, I didn't even
know you could act.
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34. You also didn't know
I was a rock polisher.
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35. Take a look at that.
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36. Oh, my! What is that?
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37. That's tiger eye.
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38. Extraordinary.
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39. Holy crap, Quagmire,
you speak Korean?
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40. Nah, not really.
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41. They just told me how to sound
the words out phonetically.
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42. So you never knew what
you were actually saying?
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43. No. In fact,
at the height of the show,
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44. I did a whole
pro-genital-mutilation PSA
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45. that I really regret.
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46. Wow, that girl's hot.
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47. That's a guy.
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48. That other guy's handsome.
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49. That's a girl.
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50. That cat is cute.
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51. That's a dog.
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52. What is everything?
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53. Oh, my God,
if Hee-Sun and Bong-Hwa
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54. don't get together,
I'm gonna kill myself!
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55. You're crazy!
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56. Bong-Hwa is completely
dishonorable!
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57. He brought a personal
item to work!
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58. Oh, my God!
No way!
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59. I told you!
I told you!
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60. Wow, I guess he didn't die
in the vending machine.
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61. What? It's over?
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62. Should we put in
the next one?
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63. Of course we should.
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64. We are binge-watching
this whole show.
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65. I mean, I haven't been
this into something
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66. since The Shawshank Redemption.
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67. Yes, um, after you escaped
into the hole,
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68. how did you perfectly re-attach
the Raquel Welch poster
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69. from inside the hole
with a tautness
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70. that a rock could pierce?
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71. Does it really matter?
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72. It does to me.
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73. Did you even
like the movie?
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74. I did very much
up until that point.
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75. Oh, my God!
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76. Quagmire, give me the last tape!
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77. Huh. Sorry, guys.
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78. There are no more tapes.
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79. What?
Where's the last one?
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80. He's right.
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81. Oh, my God!
What do we do?
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82. Quagmire, tell us
what happened!
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83. Did Hee-Sun live
to have the baby?
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84. Did Kim secure a position
at the hydroelectric plant?
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85. I don't know.
I don't remember.
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86. How can you
not remember?
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87. It was 20 years ago.
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88. We shot out of order.
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89. I-I never even knew
what I was saying.
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90. I didn't care.
I was living the life.
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91. Just banging chicks
and eating cabbage, you know.
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92. Aw, crap, what do we do
about our show?
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93. Now I know how that German
movie producer felt.
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94. All right, Friedrich,
now that World War Two is over,
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95. we can get back
to making comedies again.
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96. Get me these comedy writers.
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97. Uh... I don't think any of
these guys are available.
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98. What? This is terrible!
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99. Get me my agent!
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100. He's, uh, he's probably
not gonna answer either.
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101. Well, this is crazy!
What happened...?
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102. Oh, I remember what happened.
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103. That episode's
not online anywhere.
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104. I even tried the Korean
search engine Bing Bong.
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105. That's not real.
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106. All right, it's not,
but, Quagmire,
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107. we need that episode.
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108. We got to know what happened!
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109. Guys, I'm sorry,
but it was years ago,
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110. and it never aired
outside Korea.
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111. So... we go to Korea.
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112. Yes.
Buying tickets.
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113. Come on, guys,
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114. it's just a dumb,
forgotten TV show.
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115. Quagmire, we have to know
how Winter Summer ends.
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116. This show is our
whole life now.
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117. Yeah, if we don't find
that tape, we're screwed.
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118. Like anybody who goes
scuba diving with Dave Navarro.
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119. All right, gang, me and the
guys are off to Korea to find
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120. the last episode of a soap
opera Quagmire was in.
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121. Peter, this is ridiculous.
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122. Wh-What am I supposed to do
if work calls?
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123. Just do what I do.
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124. Hold the phone up to any
episode of Who's the Boss?
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125. Griffin, it's been four days.
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126. Why haven't you come to work?
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127. Angela?
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128. Of course it's me!
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129. You know, I've got half a mind
to fire you.
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130. Angela.
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131. Oh, I can't stay mad at you.
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132. I'll see you when I see you.
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133. Man, Epcot nailed Asia.
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134. American Johnny!
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135. Holy crap, Quagmire,
you're famous here!
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136. It's American Johnny!
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137. American Johnny is back!
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138. I take a picture with
giant Samsung phone!
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139. Giant Samsung phone
is also tiny Kia car!
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140. Welcome,
American Johnny.
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141. We give only
best room for you.
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142. Would you like smoking
or chain smoking?
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143. Uh, smoking, I guess?
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144. Yes, and how many
ridiculous things
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145. would you like
your toilet to do?
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146. Do you have one that goes,
"Yum-yum-yum-yum-yum"?
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147. Ah, presidential suite!
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148. Well, Donna's
mother died.
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149. But we should probably
head out to find
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150. the last episode of
that Korean soap opera.
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151. Yeah. Where's Peter?
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152. Oh, he went
to get plastic surgery.
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153. He did?
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154. Yeah, Korea's the plastic
surgery capital of the world.
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155. Nobody here thinks
you look good unless you have
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156. big, round eyes
and a tiny little nose and chin.
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157. Hey, guys.
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158. Peter, are you
all right?
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159. You know what?
I feel good.
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160. I feel like I want
to giggle behind my hand
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161. at a lot of things
and hold, but not eat,
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162. a big ice cream cone.
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163. There were more birds
than videos in there.
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164. Yeah, and no sign
of Winter Summer.
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165. Glenn?
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166. Glenn Quagmire?
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167. Sujin?
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168. It's Hee-Sun!
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169. From the show!
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170. I don't believe it.
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171. She's so beautiful.
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172. She's so beautiful!
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173. H-How did you find me?
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174. I heard that American
Johnny was back,
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175. so I started
following you
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176. on the new "Where
American Johnny?" app.
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177. I already rich from that.
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178. Dance for me, Hilary Duff!
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179. Ah, it's so great
to see you, Sujin.
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180. You look just
as pretty as ever.
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181. I've waited every day
hoping you would return.
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182. And I never stopped
thinking of you.
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183. Were you guys... involved?
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184. We were, Peter.
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185. Korean O-M-G!
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186. Sujin, we actually
came here to find
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187. the last episode
of Winter Summer.
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188. Would you happen to have it?
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189. Of course.
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190. Can we see it?
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191. Why, yes.
Tonight.
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192. Glenn, you and your friends
must come to my home
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193. for gross
Korean dinner.
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194. Man, look at them.
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195. They make such
a cute couple.
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196. Like Pac-Man
and Ms. Pac-Man.
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197. I'm so happy you all
could make it tonight.
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198. We will have many things you
will nibble at and not eat.
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199. Then I will give
you a pizza.
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200. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
that's great.
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201. Hey, can we watch that last
episode of Winter Summer now?
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202. We will watch together
after dinner.
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203. In the meantime, feel free
to watch Korean pop videos.
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204. What is this, and how can I make
the rest of my life about it?
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205. Dinner will be
ready soon.
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206. But, Glenn, I have
a surprise for you.
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207. Do you remember
Buttercup?
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208. Who's Buttercup?
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209. Oh, my God, I can't believe
Buttercup is still alive!
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210. Alive and well.
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211. Wait a minute,
you named a cat Buttercup?
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212. Only Quagmire.
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213. And you know, Glenn,
after you moved away,
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214. Buttercup had kittens.
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215. What?
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216. That's right.
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217. You're a grandfather.
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218. My God.
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219. This is more pussy
than even I can handle.
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220. Is he gonna say "giggity"?
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221. Should I say "giggity"?
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222. Are other people
allowed to say "giggity"?
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223. Giggity.
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224. What?
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225. Nothing. It's stupid.
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226. Ah, that was a great
dinner, Sujin.
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227. I've missed you so much.
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228. I'd forgotten how happy
we make each other.
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229. Okay, I'm done
with this sweet rice water
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230. that has a pine nut
floating in it.
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231. Nice dessert,
by the way.
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232. Can we watch
the thing now?
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233. Of course.
Here it is—
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234. the last episode
of Winter Summer.
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235. Oh, my God!
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236. This is everything
I've dreamed of.
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237. Well, this, and becoming
a half-man, half-horse.
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238. Give up these legs?
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239. Don't be absurd.
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240. Why?
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241. Why would American
Johnny leave Korea?
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242. He had everything!
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243. Love! A family!
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244. Why would he go
back to his sad,
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245. pathetic bachelor
life in America?
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246. He's got nothing there!
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247. Why would he ever
want to go home?
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248. Okay, Quagmire,
let's go home.
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249. Well, you know what?
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250. You're right, Peter.
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251. American Johnny
never should've left.
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252. It was the only time
he was ever happy.
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253. What? What are you saying?
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254. Hey, Sin-ju,
your TV says it's 21:00.
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255. What is that in real time?
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256. I'm saying I'm not going
back to Quahog.
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257. What?
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258. But we've-we've
seen the last episode.
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259. We did what we came here to do.
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260. Peter, everything
you just said is true.
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261. I don't have anyone
waiting for me in Quahog.
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262. But here, I've got Sujin.
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263. I've got Buttercup
and our grandcats.
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264. I've got a family.
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265. I'm not gonna make the same
mistake American Johnny did.
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266. I'm staying here.
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267. Will Quagmire stay in Korea?
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268. Will Peter find a new friend?
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269. Find out after this Korean
commercial Ashton Kutcher
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270. thought no one in America
would ever see.
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271. Hi. I'm Ashton Kutcher.
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272. Have you ever killed a dog
while driving drunk,
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273. and then been upset that there
was no way for your car engine
Copy !req
274. to cook it for you
on the rest of the drive home?
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275. Well, those days are over,
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276. thanks to Dr. Lee's
Pet Engine Cooking Bag.
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277. Just put the dog in the bag,
place it over the engine block,
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278. and drive your usual
20 miles per hour
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279. over the speed limit.
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280. Mmm. Bow-wow!
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281. I'm Ashton Kutcher,
and remember,
Copy !req
282. Dr. Lee's Pet Engine
Cooking Bags
Copy !req
283. are not meant for babies.
Copy !req
284. But they can be used
for babies.
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285. Quagmire,
you can't stay in Korea.
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286. We all got lives back in Quahog.
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287. That's just it, Peter—
you have lives.
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288. You guys all have
wives and kids.
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289. And I have nothing
waiting for me back there.
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290. But here, I have a family.
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291. Plus, commercial pilots
around here can just
Copy !req
292. fly their plane
into the ocean if they want.
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293. Peter's right—
we can't just leave you here.
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294. Who am I gonna get
all my wiener jokes from?
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295. You're my wiener guy.
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296. Joe, I got them from a book.
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297. I wish I didn't know that.
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298. Don't peek
behind the curtain, huh?
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299. Sorry, guys,
you're not gonna change my mind.
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300. I just feel like
I belong here with Sujin.
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301. What are you gonna do?
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302. It's a powerful thing
when a woman pays you
Copy !req
303. even the slightest
bit of attention.
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304. Yeah, God knows
I've been there.
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305. Welcome to Chili's.
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306. We're through.
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307. Can't believe Quagmire
isn't coming back with us.
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308. Donna's mother?
It was suicide.
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309. You guys want to check out
Brazil while we're out?
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310. We just got to accept that
Quagmire has made his decision.
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311. There's nothing
we can do about it.
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312. Yeah, I guess as far as
Quagmire's concerned,
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313. he's totally Korean now.
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314. Guys, there's only one way
to get through to a Korean.
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315. Through their music.
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316. Uh-huh. Yeah.
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317. We can try your thing.
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318. Eh, another show about a lizard.
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319. Quagmire,
you're making a mistake.
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320. Quahog is where
you belong.
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321. That's right.
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322. And if you won't
listen to us,
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323. maybe you'll listen
to, um... us.
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324. But singing.
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325. Quagmire!
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326. Quagmire!
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327. Confusing dance break!
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328. Random names of snacks now!
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329. Candy!
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330. Quahog!
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331. Marshmallow!
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332. Candy! Quahog! Marshmallow!
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333. Sorry, guys.
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334. I know those New York Giants
jerseys weren't cheap,
Copy !req
335. but I'm staying here,
and that's final.
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336. Well, I pressed our matching
beige pantsuits for tomorrow.
Copy !req
337. Good night.
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338. Who's that?
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339. This is my grandfather.
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340. He is going to live with us,
in the Asian tradition.
Copy !req
341. So will the rest of my aunts,
uncles and cousins.
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342. They will?
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343. Of course.
Copy !req
344. And have you met
Great-Grandma?
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345. I can see through her!
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346. I-Is she a ghost?
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347. We don't know.
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348. She won't answer.
Copy !req
349. Tomorrow, you take her to
town to buy root vegetable.
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350. After that, you will
get psychopath haircut
Copy !req
351. so you look
like one of us.
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352. What's the matter, Glenn?
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353. You don't seem
completely emotionless.
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354. No, no, no, no, I am, I am.
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355. I'm emotionless.
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356. Good night, Glenn.
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357. Oh, and just
so you know,
Copy !req
358. three of my cousins
have night terrors.
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359. Oh, no!
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360. It's crazy we're going
home without Quagmire.
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361. What are we gonna
do without him?
Copy !req
362. Rent his house to a sorority,
enjoy the babes?
Copy !req
363. Huh.
Copy !req
364. Good-bye, Quagmire.
Copy !req
365. We're gonna
miss you, buddy.
Copy !req
366. Guys, wait!
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367. Candy!
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368. Quahog!
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369. Marshmallow!
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370. Candy! Quahog! Marshmallow!
Copy !req
371. What I'm trying
to say is...
Copy !req
372. guys, I'm coming back
to Quahog with you.
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373. You are?
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374. Oh, that's great!
Copy !req
375. But wait, won't
that upset Sujin
Copy !req
376. and your new
Korean family?
Copy !req
377. What, are you kidding?
Copy !req
378. They all got to be
in a K-pop song.
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379. That's all anyone here wants.
Copy !req
380. Look, Great-Grandma is so happy,
Copy !req
381. she finally died
and became a ghost.
Copy !req
382. Thanks again for convincing me
to come home, guys.
Copy !req
383. No problem, Quagmire.
Copy !req
384. Looks like Donna's mother's
funeral went well.
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385. Odd choice to have an open
casket for a gunshot suicide.
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386. Yep, I thought
I wanted a family,
Copy !req
387. but I love having
no responsibilities here.
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388. I can get drunk whenever,
sleep with anyone,
Copy !req
389. and just hide in my house
Copy !req
390. and avoid the world
if I feel like it.
Copy !req
391. Wow, that's great,
and totally doesn't sound
Copy !req
392. like symptoms
of clinical depression.
Copy !req
393. I heard you gentleman
went to South Korea.
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394. Yeah.
Copy !req
395. Well, that's cool.
Copy !req
396. We went to Lake
Havasu, you losers!
Copy !req
397. We nabbed so much
college beav!
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