1. Do you want an excuse
to not go home this Christmas?Copy !req
2. Then fly Northwest Airlines.Copy !req
3. At Northwest Airlines,
thousands of employeesCopy !req
4. are dedicated to delaying
and cancelling flightsCopy !req
5. so you won't get home
for the holidays.Copy !req
6. No way I'm getting you
on your connecting flight.Copy !req
7. No way we're taking off on time.Copy !req
8. Don't worry, I'm taking
this flight back to the gate.Copy !req
9. Do you think Jeff will
make it home this year?Copy !req
10. No way—
because Jeff flew Northwest.Copy !req
11. Thanks, Northwest.Copy !req
12. I hate my family.Copy !req
13. Ah, that looks great.Copy !req
14. You know, I think this is gonna
be our best Christmas ever.Copy !req
15. Yeah, but don't get
your hopes up, Lois.Copy !req
16. I couldn't afford to get you
what I got you last year.Copy !req
17. I know how you
like that song,Copy !req
18. so I got you two
turtledoves.Copy !req
19. Where did you get these?Copy !req
20. I went to a scientist and had
them genetically engineered.Copy !req
21. Fly, beautiful turtledoves.Copy !req
22. Bring Christmas cheer to all.Copy !req
23. Everybody outside— we'll do
the rest of Christmas outside!Copy !req
24. Go, go, go!Copy !req
25. Look, Stewie, I'm hanging the
ornament you made at preschool.Copy !req
26. Just hang it up.Copy !req
27. Why do you have to narrate
everything you do?Copy !req
28. Peter, you want to put
the star on top of the...Copy !req
29. Hang on, hang on, Lois,
I always wanted to do this.Copy !req
30. Wait a second.Copy !req
31. It's coming.Copy !req
32. There it is!Copy !req
33. Huh?Copy !req
34. Eh, it's something,Copy !req
35. but you still
got a leftover "R."Copy !req
36. This was hard.Copy !req
37. I did this for you!Copy !req
38. This one's my favorite ornament.Copy !req
39. I can only imagine what it
must have been like for themCopy !req
40. on that very first Christmas.Copy !req
41. Yeah, it was probably
very moving...Copy !req
42. and fictional.Copy !req
43. Jesus lived with us
for, like, a week.Copy !req
44. What else do you need?Copy !req
45. It's the greatest
story ever told, Meg.Copy !req
46. A story that goes back
over a hundred years.Copy !req
47. Yay, Star Wars!
No, Chris.Copy !req
48. It's the story of Christmas
and the Immaculate Conception.Copy !req
49. You guys were born
the dirty way.Copy !req
50. Now, gather around, everybody,
and hear the awe-inspiring taleCopy !req
51. that's caused millions
and millions of deaths.Copy !req
52. Many years ago
there was a hardworkingCopy !req
53. young carpenter named Joseph,Copy !req
54. and one day, Joseph and his
friend Robby were hanging...Copy !req
55. Guy's name was Robby back then?Copy !req
56. The Bible is fuzzy on that.Copy !req
57. Anyway, Joseph and Robby
were hanging outCopy !req
58. one day when this happened...Copy !req
59. So, I went to see that new
Oedipus play last week.Copy !req
60. Took my mother— talk
about an awkward ride home.Copy !req
61. Barely got a good-night kiss.Copy !req
62. Hey, Joseph,
check it out.Copy !req
63. Oh, my God,
look at that body.Copy !req
64. Can't you just imagine her
standing on people's front lawnsCopy !req
65. inside a cut-in-half bathtub?Copy !req
66. You should go talk to her
and see if she can talk.Copy !req
67. Uh, hi.
I'm... I'm Joseph.Copy !req
68. Oh, hello. I'm Mary.Copy !req
69. Listen, um, I was wondering if
you'd like to go out sometime.Copy !req
70. Well, sure.
That sounds nice.Copy !req
71. You know, there's
a beautiful spot outside of townCopy !req
72. where they dump
all the foreskins.Copy !req
73. You can sit on top
and watch the sunset.Copy !req
74. Oh, great, and maybe
we could slaughter a lambCopy !req
75. and light it on fire
so that it rains.Copy !req
76. Well, let's not
go too fast.Copy !req
77. Listen, I'll see
you later, okay?Copy !req
78. I've got to go sit in a
circle with the other womenCopy !req
79. and stare off
into the fields.Copy !req
80. All right,
you got a date.Copy !req
81. Yeah, I just hope it goes
better than my last one.Copy !req
82. Wow, Joseph,
that was great.Copy !req
83. Yeah, I got to say
I'm a little disappointed.Copy !req
84. When you said I could do you
in your "mudhut,"Copy !req
85. I thought you meant
something else.Copy !req
86. And so Mary and Joseph
began their courtship.Copy !req
87. But even after several dates,Copy !req
88. Joseph couldn't get
to first base.Copy !req
89. Not just because
Mary was a virgin,Copy !req
90. but because baseball would not
be invented for 1,800 yearsCopy !req
91. and nobody knew what the hell
he was talking about.Copy !req
92. You know this is the same picnic
basket we drowned my sister in.Copy !req
93. It was back when they were like,
"Drown all the girls,"Copy !req
94. and then they were like,
"Don't drown all the girls,"Copy !req
95. but she was born on a
drowning week, so, you know.Copy !req
96. Oh, look at that—
there's hardly any blood.Copy !req
97. You're very healthy.Copy !req
98. Well, I try
to take care of myself.Copy !req
99. Joseph, this is the most
fun I've had in a while.Copy !req
100. That's good, that's good.Copy !req
101. Pull your pants down.
What?Copy !req
102. Come on, this is
our seventh date.Copy !req
103. It's completely natural.Copy !req
104. Birds do it, bees do it,Copy !req
105. dinosaurs whom we live
alongside do it.Copy !req
106. Joseph, I can't.Copy !req
107. People will talk.Copy !req
108. So, what?
They'll talk in Aramaic.Copy !req
109. Do you understand that?
I don't.Copy !req
110. Look, you're very sweet,
but I have to save myself.Copy !req
111. For who? There's only
30 people in the whole worldCopy !req
112. and you're related
to half of them.Copy !req
113. I can't believe how hard
you're making me work.Copy !req
114. Well, I do have
a very good virginity coach.Copy !req
115. No, no, no.Copy !req
116. Okay, I think I got it.
How's this?Copy !req
117. No, no, no.Copy !req
118. No, no, no.Copy !req
119. Look, I can't explain it,Copy !req
120. but something is
telling me to wait.Copy !req
121. Something deep,
deep inside of me.Copy !req
122. Stop talking like that
or I swear to GodCopy !req
123. I'm gonna Pompeii
all over this blanket.Copy !req
124. Oh, you're silly.Copy !req
125. Come on, let's
just watch the show.Copy !req
126. Wow, she's really getting it.Copy !req
127. Yeah, I know that girl—
that's Donna Magdalene,Copy !req
128. and her sister's a
bigger slut than she is.Copy !req
129. You know, we Jews got it right,
working with our hands.Copy !req
130. Yeah, let those eggheads
in Rome do the brain work,Copy !req
131. we Jews will do
the brawn work.Copy !req
132. Hey, Italians, put a book
down once in a while.Copy !req
133. Yeah, yeah, right.
Definitely, yeah.Copy !req
134. Put a book down.Copy !req
135. Hey, so, uh,
you've been seeingCopy !req
136. that girl Mary
for some time now.Copy !req
137. She's pretty smoking.Copy !req
138. Aw, man, she is so hot.Copy !req
139. She's gonna go down in history
as "Hot Bitch Mary."Copy !req
140. You know, I'm thinking
of popping the question.Copy !req
141. Really?
Yeah, I figure
I'm 14 now,Copy !req
142. I'm not getting
any younger.Copy !req
143. Hey, look,
it's the burning bush!Copy !req
144. Hail Mary,
full of guys.Copy !req
145. Oh come all
ye face-full.Copy !req
146. Come on, guys,
that's really dirty.Copy !req
147. Hi, Joseph.Copy !req
148. Hey, Mary,
what's going on?Copy !req
149. Oh, I just thought
I'd take a breakCopy !req
150. from pooping in the open
street to come see you.Copy !req
151. That's nice.Copy !req
152. Listen, can you
come by my house later?Copy !req
153. There's something important
I have to share with you.Copy !req
154. Okay, sure.Copy !req
155. I'll come by
around that partCopy !req
156. of the day when
the sun goes awayCopy !req
157. and we're all terrified
it will never come back.Copy !req
158. Okay, bye.Copy !req
159. Wow, you're a
lucky man, Joseph.Copy !req
160. I know.Copy !req
161. So, what have you
got going on later?Copy !req
162. I think I might hang
out in the town square.Copy !req
163. I hear an oracle from Greece
is sending a funny messageCopy !req
164. and I want to be
there when it arrives.Copy !req
165. Penis.
Ha.Copy !req
166. Hey, Mary.Copy !req
167. Oh, hi, Joseph.
Come on in.Copy !req
168. Thanks, hey, listen
I just got ticketsCopy !req
169. to see Cher in Bethlehem.Copy !req
170. You want to go?Copy !req
171. I guess— how close
are the seats?Copy !req
172. Row L-X-V-I.Copy !req
173. That sounds great.Copy !req
174. But, look, Joseph, there's
something I have to tell you.Copy !req
175. I'm pregnant.Copy !req
176. From my finger?Copy !req
177. No, you don't understand.Copy !req
178. God has blessed me
with his child.Copy !req
179. You banged Kevin God
from South Nazareth?Copy !req
180. No, no, Joseph,
I mean God.Copy !req
181. I'm carrying God's baby.Copy !req
182. He-he sent down an angel.Copy !req
183. Fear not, pretty ladyCopy !req
184. who ain't never
had no relations.Copy !req
185. I's been sent to bring you
the message that tonightCopy !req
186. you's gonna be getting
pregnant with the Son of God.Copy !req
187. It's a miracle, yay!Copy !req
188. I am?Copy !req
189. Yeah, and it's gonna
be here soon,Copy !req
190. so you might want
to spruce yourself up.Copy !req
191. Maybe walk in the
creek a little bit.Copy !req
192. Oh, and he probably don't
want me to tell you this,Copy !req
193. but be ready 'cause
he might give youCopy !req
194. a little bit of
a donkey punch.Copy !req
195. So you're saying God
got you pregnant?Copy !req
196. Yes, Joseph.
Glory in the highest!Copy !req
197. Well, if it his will,
then his will be done,Copy !req
198. and I am but his
humble servant.Copy !req
199. But I do have one question.Copy !req
200. Was he bigger than me?Copy !req
201. Joseph,
it wasn't like that.Copy !req
202. I felt nothing.Copy !req
203. Oh, little guy.Copy !req
204. We now return
to A Christmas Carol.Copy !req
205. I am the Ghost
of Christmas Past.Copy !req
206. Oh, hello.Copy !req
207. I am here to show you
how you lost your way.Copy !req
208. Um, oh, okay.Copy !req
209. How long is this gonna take?Copy !req
210. I don't know,
maybe eight minutes?Copy !req
211. Okay, hang on, I just
got to use the bathroom.Copy !req
212. I am the Ghost
of Christmas Pres...Copy !req
213. Wait, you haven't
gone yet?
No.Copy !req
214. Okay, here we go.Copy !req
215. Sorry this is turning
into something else.Copy !req
216. All right, kids,
gather around.Copy !req
217. Time to make our yearly terrible
call to Great Aunt Helen.Copy !req
218. Hello?Copy !req
219. Hi, Aunt Helen, it's Peter,
Lois and the whole family.Copy !req
220. Peter's lowest what?
We're calling to say
Merry Christmas...Copy !req
221. Are you there, dear?
We-we were just
calling to...Copy !req
222. We had quite a cold snap here.
I hope you
got our card.Copy !req
223. Okay, nobody talk— we'll
just wait for her to talk.Copy !req
224. Are you still there, dear?
Well, we just
wanted to...Copy !req
225. Damn it!Copy !req
226. So, how was the...
It's been rather cold.Copy !req
227. The pond froze over
a family of raccoons.Copy !req
228. Are you there, dear?
All right, well,
Merry Christmas.Copy !req
229. Dad, can we hear more of that
story about the baby Jesus?Copy !req
230. Ah, right. Now
everybody listen upCopy !req
231. while I stuff the rest of this
rhetoric down your throats.Copy !req
232. Now, if you remember,Copy !req
233. Mary and Joseph were on
their way to Bethlehem.Copy !req
234. Uch, look at that.Copy !req
235. I remember when this
was all desert.Copy !req
236. You know, when
the baby comes,Copy !req
237. we could probably
homeschool him.Copy !req
238. I can count up to nine.Copy !req
239. Yeah, hey, so tell me
one more time how it isCopy !req
240. that God got you pregnant.Copy !req
241. 'Cause when you tell me
the story,Copy !req
242. it sorta makes sense.Copy !req
243. But then when I tell
the guys at work,Copy !req
244. they poke all kinds
of holes in it.Copy !req
245. So, you guys are going
to Bethlehem, huh?Copy !req
246. I went there one time on
a donkeys' night out.Copy !req
247. Oh, my God,
I got so hammered!Copy !req
248. And as Mary and Joseph made
their way to Bethlehem,Copy !req
249. three wise men were preparing
for a journey of their own.Copy !req
250. Chris, did you get a haircut?Copy !req
251. I did.Copy !req
252. I'm just noticing.
It looks nice.Copy !req
253. Hey, what's this?Copy !req
254. Hey, you guys, this says
a King of KingsCopy !req
255. will be born
in Bethlehem,Copy !req
256. and we are to go
and pay tribute.Copy !req
257. Hey, let me see that.Copy !req
258. This says,
"Three Magi or Resident."Copy !req
259. I don't think they
really care if it's us.Copy !req
260. Yeah, I don't want
to go, either.Copy !req
261. Hey, isn't your mother-in-law
visiting tomorrow?Copy !req
262. We're off
to Bethlehem!Copy !req
263. Wow, I can't believe
we're already here.Copy !req
264. Yeah, it's amazing how
small the world is nowCopy !req
265. thanks to mules
and camels.Copy !req
266. You're anywhere,
just like that.Copy !req
267. Oh, my!Copy !req
268. You can really tell
we're in the big city now.Copy !req
269. Yeah, they got everything here.Copy !req
270. They got restaurants,
they got museums.Copy !req
271. They even got movies.Copy !req
272. Coming soon, get ready
to start seeing double!Copy !req
273. It's Ben-Him and Ben-Her!Copy !req
274. Starring Adam Sandler and...Copy !req
275. Adam Sandler?Copy !req
276. Yoo-hoo, Benny!Copy !req
277. That's my brother
on that chariot!Copy !req
278. I'm driving here!Copy !req
279. Whoa...!Copy !req
280. Ooh, that's gotta hurt!Copy !req
281. And introducing that joke!Copy !req
282. Ben-Him and Ben-Her!Copy !req
283. Even Noah wouldn't put
these two together!Copy !req
284. Cover your privates!Copy !req
285. Everyone can coli-see-um!Copy !req
286. Meanwhile, the three wise menCopy !req
287. were making their way
across the desert.Copy !req
288. Hey, did you hear
they're coming outCopy !req
289. with four more
Commandments?Copy !req
290. Uch, all that stuff does is
interfere with small business.Copy !req
291. Oh, no, we're
out of water.Copy !req
292. We gotta
stop somewhere.Copy !req
293. Look. That's
King Herod's palace.Copy !req
294. Maybe we can get
water over there.Copy !req
295. Wow, look at that classy,
Middle Eastern houseCopy !req
296. with gold and marble.Copy !req
297. People will always want
to live nextCopy !req
298. to big Middle Eastern houses
with gold and marble.Copy !req
299. Uch, I'm so bored.Copy !req
300. How's the TV coming?Copy !req
301. We are a long way off.Copy !req
302. Excuse me.Copy !req
303. We are three wise men
on a long journey.Copy !req
304. Could we trouble you
for some water?Copy !req
305. Sure. Not quite wise enough
to pack any, huh?Copy !req
306. So, what brings you to Judea?Copy !req
307. We're on our way to Bethlehem
to see a magic baby.Copy !req
308. Magic baby?
What's he do,Copy !req
309. card tricks,
rabbit in the hat?Copy !req
310. Would he let someone
in the audienceCopy !req
311. punch him in
the stomach?Copy !req
312. I'd like to punch a
baby in the stomach.Copy !req
313. You can't punch
this baby.Copy !req
314. He's the Messiah.Copy !req
315. Yes, they're even calling him
the King of Kings.Copy !req
316. Yuck.
He already sounds like a dick.Copy !req
317. Okay, then how about this?Copy !req
318. I'm the King of King
of Kings.Copy !req
319. Ha! New name! Called it!Copy !req
320. Sounds like somebody's
a little threatened.Copy !req
321. No, I'm not. Would a guy who
feels threatened make sureCopy !req
322. all his advisors
are shorter than him?Copy !req
323. Ha! You said
it, King!Copy !req
324. That's telling him!Copy !req
325. Big guy!Copy !req
326. You know what?
Still, just to be safe,Copy !req
327. I should probably kill
that baby.Copy !req
328. Then Jodie Foster will love me.Copy !req
329. Welcome to the
Motel Shiksa.Copy !req
330. We won't leave the
light on for you,Copy !req
331. because what, do I work
for the electric company?Copy !req
332. Yes, we were wondering
if you had a room available?Copy !req
333. Sorry, we're all booked up—
Cher's in town.Copy !req
334. You won't find a room
in the city.Copy !req
335. No room? Joseph,
what are we gonna do?Copy !req
336. Don't worry.
I got this covered.Copy !req
337. No rooms, eh?Copy !req
338. Well, perhaps you have a room
for my good friendCopy !req
339. fistful of sand.Copy !req
340. Where's your money?Copy !req
341. I spent it on sand.Copy !req
342. I'm sorry,
I can't help you.Copy !req
343. But, sir, please,Copy !req
344. my wife is with child
and about to give birth.Copy !req
345. And I am with burrito
and about to do the same.Copy !req
346. Sir, if you don't leave now,
I'm gonna have to call IX-I-I.Copy !req
347. Yeah, we, we did one
of those earlier.Copy !req
348. Yours is better, though.Copy !req
349. We probably should've waited
for yours.Copy !req
350. Joseph, my water
just broke!Copy !req
351. It's time!Copy !req
352. Oh, my God!Copy !req
353. Please, you've gotta
have some place for us!Copy !req
354. We're desperate!Copy !req
355. Well, there's
a manger out back.Copy !req
356. You can stay there.Copy !req
357. That's fine, that's fine!
We'll take it!Copy !req
358. Bethlehem!Copy !req
359. I have one question for you!Copy !req
360. Dah... See?
I told you she'd open with that.Copy !req
361. So, Joseph and Mary
were turned away
from the inn.Copy !req
362. But, Dad, I still
don't understandCopy !req
363. the whole Immaculate
Conception thing.Copy !req
364. How can anyone get pregnant
without having sex?Copy !req
365. Oh, there's lots of
stories of that, Meg.Copy !req
366. Cleveland's got
a cousin who hadCopy !req
367. eight girlfriends
get pregnant,Copy !req
368. and he says he's not
responsible for a single one.Copy !req
369. Good guy.
You shake his hand,Copy !req
370. it feels like you're
touching a nice briefcase.Copy !req
371. But back to our story.Copy !req
372. All right, here we are.Copy !req
373. This seems pretty gross.Copy !req
374. I can't believe my baby's
gonna be the Son of God.Copy !req
375. Looks like all those
years fighting offCopy !req
376. my own father's advances
have finally paid off.Copy !req
377. What shall we name him?Copy !req
378. Well, this is kinda
like a barn.Copy !req
379. We could call
him Barney.Copy !req
380. Yeah, maybe.Copy !req
381. Or I kinda always
liked Tristan.Copy !req
382. Oh, my God, you want himCopy !req
383. to get the crap
beat out of him?Copy !req
384. They will crucify him
with a name like that.Copy !req
385. No, no, no.Copy !req
386. What are you doing?
How long you been there?Copy !req
387. Those names is no good.Copy !req
388. Look, why don't y'all
just give me a list,Copy !req
389. I'll run 'em up to God,
and see if he picks one.Copy !req
390. No... no...Copy !req
391. That's the name
of a champagne.Copy !req
392. No... no...Copy !req
393. Terrible!Copy !req
394. These are all
just terrible!Copy !req
395. Relax, God.Copy !req
396. You want me to get y'all
some wine and cheeses?Copy !req
397. Wait, what'd you
just say?Copy !req
398. Cheeses.
You want some cheeses?Copy !req
399. And that's why you're
allowed to eatCopy !req
400. as much mozzarella as
you want in any church.Copy !req
401. So the three wise men set off
again on their journey.Copy !req
402. You sure this is
the right way?Copy !req
403. Yes, I'm sure.
We follow the star.Copy !req
404. Are you sure
that's a star?Copy !req
405. We've had this
conversation!Copy !req
406. Yes, it's a star!Copy !req
407. It's got flashing
red lights!Copy !req
408. Oh, my God!
It is a plane!Copy !req
409. And I said that yesterday,
you stupid idiot!Copy !req
410. Hey, thanks for coming out
on such late notice, Doc.Copy !req
411. Oh, you don't
have to thank me.
This is a big deal.Copy !req
412. It's not every day
that God bestows a
woman with his son.Copy !req
413. Has it ever
happened before?
Yeah, once.Copy !req
414. But the woman drank
during her pregnancy.Copy !req
415. The kid came out
a real lemon.Copy !req
416. I turned this
water into poo!Copy !req
417. Uh-huh.Copy !req
418. I also turned this
fish into poo!Copy !req
419. Ah...Copy !req
420. Do you want your
birthday present?Copy !req
421. I think I know
what it is.Copy !req
422. It's a
cashmere sweater.Copy !req
423. Oh, wow!Copy !req
424. That's actually
really nice.Copy !req
425. And now it's poo!Copy !req
426. Well, here we are.Copy !req
427. Okay, guys,
squeeze in.Copy !req
428. Bible photographer.Copy !req
429. Okay, we're smiling,Copy !req
430. we're happy to
see Jesus.Copy !req
431. There we go.Copy !req
432. Hey, guys,
watch your step in there.Copy !req
433. That floor's gonna be dripping
in virgin olive oil.Copy !req
434. That's kinda hot.
Gross.Copy !req
435. Hello, we are
the three wise men.Copy !req
436. We came here
following a star.Copy !req
437. Those two statements
contradict each other.Copy !req
438. We also come
bearing gifts.Copy !req
439. I brought frankincense.Copy !req
440. I brought myrrh.Copy !req
441. And I brought you
a breast pump,Copy !req
442. which in these times
is just a guy.Copy !req
443. When do I start?Copy !req
444. Oh he's coming!Copy !req
445. Oh, it hurts so bad!Copy !req
446. God, I hate working
on Christmas.Copy !req
447. Oh, here he comes.Copy !req
448. And... BC turns to AD!Copy !req
449. How's everybody doing?Copy !req
450. Oh, he's a miracle!Copy !req
451. Hey, if you're a virgin, how
come I shot out of thereCopy !req
452. like a greased-up
cannonball?Copy !req
453. Greetings!
I have come to seeCopy !req
454. the newborn king, but sadly,
I bring no gift.Copy !req
455. Well, what do you got
in your hand there?Copy !req
456. Uh, my drum.Copy !req
457. Well, then it looks like
you got him a drum.Copy !req
458. Pretty good gift.
But this is all I own.Copy !req
459. It's what makes me
the "Little Drummer Boy."Copy !req
460. Yeah, the baby
wants the drum.Copy !req
461. Yeah! Drum!Copy !req
462. Okay, nobody touch my hair.
I'm growing it out.Copy !req
463. Also, I'm gonna start dieting
and working outCopy !req
464. so I'm like crazy leanCopy !req
465. for the, you know, for, for,
for the thing.Copy !req
466. What the deuce?Copy !req
467. Bring out the Christ Child!
We want him!Copy !req
468. Uh-oh.Copy !req
469. I may have a virgin mom,
but I am one bad mother.Copy !req
470. Ah! Ah! You guys get him!
You guys get him!Copy !req
471. I forgot something
at the palace!Copy !req
472. Pa-choo! Pa-choo!Copy !req
473. And that is the
story of Jesus.Copy !req
474. That was awesome, Dad!Copy !req
475. Oh, my God! I
just realizedCopy !req
476. that's the same Jesus as
the Jesus from church!Copy !req
477. That's a beautiful story,
Peter,Copy !req
478. about people coming togetherCopy !req
479. to form something
greater than themselves.Copy !req
480. Yes, can I help you?Copy !req
481. Hi. We're from out of townCopy !req
482. and our car
just broke down!Copy !req
483. My wife's in labor.
Can we use your phone?Copy !req
484. What? No!Copy !req
485. Peter, who is it?Copy !req
486. Couple of freaking scumbags
working some scam,Copy !req
487. saying how they want
to use our phone.Copy !req
488. What? Do they want all the
presents under the tree, too?Copy !req
489. Get rid of 'em!Copy !req
490. They're not gonna
do that, are they?Copy !req
491. Dad, shut the door,
it's freezing!Copy !req
492. Please, you've
gotta help us!Copy !req
493. You're lucky
it's ChristmasCopy !req
494. or I'd call the cops on
you dirty grifters!Copy !req
495. Now you and your whore
wife get out of here!Copy !req
496. Peter, you handled
that perfectly.Copy !req
497. Merry Christmas,
Lois.Copy !req
498. Please!
We're begging you!Copy !req
499. I'm getting
the baseball bat.Copy !req