1. Hi. Package for
Brian Griffin.Copy !req
2. Oh, I can sign for that.Copy !req
3. Package, Bri.Copy !req
4. Huh. Wonder
what this is.Copy !req
5. It's my book.Copy !req
6. And there's a note
from my publisher.Copy !req
7. "We are returning
all of the unsold copiesCopy !req
8. of Faster Than
the Speed of Love."Copy !req
9. You guys got a garage
or something?Copy !req
10. We got like 300 boxes
of these things.Copy !req
11. Wow, that's a lot of boxes!Copy !req
12. Oh, this is so weird.Copy !req
13. Look what they used
to pack your book in.Copy !req
14. Shredded-up pieces of your book.Copy !req
15. Okay, that's it, I'm finished.Copy !req
16. What are you
talking about?Copy !req
17. I'm-I'm finished.
I'm done. It's over.Copy !req
18. Clearly, I am not
meant to be a writer.Copy !req
19. I have tried and I have tried,
and nothing has worked out.Copy !req
20. I... put my heart out there, and
it keeps getting stomped on.Copy !req
21. Well, that's it, no more.Copy !req
22. I-I-I'm done writing.Copy !req
23. What? Writing's
the only thingCopy !req
24. that's giving your alcoholism
any credibility.Copy !req
25. Ooh, hey, you know, I just
thought of something,Copy !req
26. hold on a sec.Copy !req
27. I bought a vase last week
and it's still in the box,Copy !req
28. and I just want to check to see
what they used to pack it...Copy !req
29. Ah, it's your book!Copy !req
30. Oh, my God,
this gets me so angry!Copy !req
31. What? What is it?Copy !req
32. Look at this.Copy !req
33. The number-one book on The New
York Times Bestseller listCopy !req
34. is Dream Your Way to
Spiritual Joy by Pauly Shore.Copy !req
35. This is why nobody
bought my damn book.Copy !req
36. You know, this is
what they want.Copy !req
37. The Secret.Copy !req
38. Chicken Soup for the Soul.
The Purpose Driven Life.Copy !req
39. I-I tell ya, I could crap one
of those things out in a night.Copy !req
40. I'm gonna tell Mom
you said "crap."Copy !req
41. No, I mean it. I could do it
in three hours and idiots
everywhere would buy it.Copy !req
42. Well, why don't you?
Believe me, I would love
to, just to make a point,Copy !req
43. but I... I've
given up writing.Copy !req
44. Yes, but you cared about
what you wrote before.Copy !req
45. You don't care about this,
so what does it matter?Copy !req
46. Well, you do have a point.Copy !req
47. All right. Maybe I will.Copy !req
48. Oh, how fun. Can
I watch you write it?Copy !req
49. I don't know, Stewie,
I kind of like to
write in solitude.Copy !req
50. No, no, I promise, I'll be as
quiet as a guy in a coma.Copy !req
51. Ah, this is great.Copy !req
52. I can finally be alone
with my thoughts.Copy !req
53. Wait, I've got it.
Predator versus Batman.Copy !req
54. Why has no one done this?
I need a pen, where's a pen?Copy !req
55. Oh, right, I can't move.
That's okay, I'll remember it.Copy !req
56. I mean, I can't forget a
million-dollar idea like that.Copy !req
57. It's even better than the one
yesterday about the guys who...Copy !req
58. Wait, I mean
the woman with the...Copy !req
59. What was it?
Was she a shapeshifter?Copy !req
60. Damn it, I just had it.
All right, calm down.Copy !req
61. At least you've still
got Batman and the...Copy !req
62. It was Batman Meets...Copy !req
63. Oh, you got to be kidding me,
I just had it.Copy !req
64. What was it, Batman Has a Son?Copy !req
65. No, no, you idiot.
No wonder your wife shot you.Copy !req
66. And... done.Copy !req
67. There it is, Stewie.Copy !req
68. Three hours, 27 minutes
and I've got myselfCopy !req
69. one big steamin' pile of book.Copy !req
70. You want to hear it?
Oh, definitely.Copy !req
71. What are you calling it?Copy !req
72. Wish It, Want It, Do It.Copy !req
73. Love it.Copy !req
74. Thanks. Okay.
"Chapter One: Wish it.Copy !req
75. "What are all the things
you want most in the world?Copy !req
76. "Use the following
blank pagesCopy !req
77. to write down all of your
dreams and desires."Copy !req
78. Ah. Brilliant.
Make them do the work.
Yeah, why not?Copy !req
79. You know, i-i-if people want
crap, I'll give 'em crap.Copy !req
80. And, you know, I have a friendCopy !req
81. who might be able to help
get this published.Copy !req
82. Wait, you have a friend
in publishingCopy !req
83. and you never told me before?Copy !req
84. He's kind of a new friend.
Who is he?Copy !req
85. Yeah, I don't know if you
want to start digging
around in this area.Copy !req
86. Let's just leave it at
he's a friend in publishingCopy !req
87. and he calls on Thursdays.Copy !req
88. Um, hey, Brian, when you're
done, can I make a pirate hat?Copy !req
89. Here,
just take it.Copy !req
90. I look awesome.Copy !req
91. All right, I got to
go to a wedding.Copy !req
92. I'll see you later.Copy !req
93. Oh, my God, that is
fantastic news!Copy !req
94. I can't wait to tell him!Copy !req
95. I know, I told you
the book was good.Copy !req
96. Yeah, thank you
so much, Don.Copy !req
97. Um... red overalls,
a yellow shirt underneath—Copy !req
98. um, I-I-I don't really have
time to do this right now.Copy !req
99. Brian, they're publishing
your book.Copy !req
100. You're kidding.
I-I can't believe it.Copy !req
101. That's the worst thing
I've ever written.Copy !req
102. Not according
to Penguin Publishing.Copy !req
103. In fact, you're supposed
to call the chief editor.Copy !req
104. Penguin Publishing.Copy !req
105. One moment, please.Copy !req
106. Sir, I have a Brian Griffin
on the line...Copy !req
107. Out. Get out!
Get out now!Copy !req
108. All right, everyone, I made
a very special breakfastCopy !req
109. to celebrate Brian's
book coming out.Copy !req
110. And... and...Copy !req
111. it's a special breakfast
for me, too, right?Copy !req
112. Why?Copy !req
113. Because... because it
is the anniversaryCopy !req
114. of when I started
to eat vegetables.Copy !req
115. Author! Author!Copy !req
116. And Peter for
eating healthy.Copy !req
117. Oh, Lois, you didn't have
to go through all this fuss.Copy !req
118. What you got there?Copy !req
119. Oh, this? It's just
a copy of Us magazine.Copy !req
120. Can you believe it?Copy !req
121. Wish it, Want it, Do it
got three stars.Copy !req
122. How... How
hilarious is that?Copy !req
123. It's not hilarious;
its great, Brian.Copy !req
124. That's a huge accomplishment.Copy !req
125. Well, I helped get
the review in.Copy !req
126. I called a friend
over at Us WeeklyCopy !req
127. who usually just covers people
with gross amounts of children,Copy !req
128. but now he's the book reviewer.Copy !req
129. So hats off to both of us.Copy !req
130. Well, n-nice going, Stewie.
You ought to be my publicist.Copy !req
131. You know, I-I don't want you
to be offering me thisCopy !req
132. just because we're related.Copy !req
133. I do have references
you can call.Copy !req
134. You know, I-I spent a monthCopy !req
135. as Melanie Griffith's
loose skin holder.Copy !req
136. Melanie!
Melanie!
Over here.Copy !req
137. You look beautiful.Copy !req
138. Can't... hold... on...
much... longer... Whoa.Copy !req
139. I should have stayed in bed.Copy !req
140. Yeah, we're walking in now.Copy !req
141. Make sure Tom Tucker knows
he has 20 minutesCopy !req
142. and he is to only talk about
the book— no personal
questions, all right?Copy !req
143. Are you okay? You good? You...
You need anything? All right.Copy !req
144. All right, we're inside
and there is nobody
here to greet us.Copy !req
145. We have no idea where we are or
where we're supposed to go.Copy !req
146. Oh wait, is that you
on the phone over there?Copy !req
147. Is this—? This is us.
Look over here.Copy !req
148. There we go.
He sees us. All right.Copy !req
149. Hi, thanks for coming.Copy !req
150. Yeah, hello,
we've been here a while.Copy !req
151. Come on, I'll show
you the green room.Copy !req
152. And Mr. Griffin, I just have
to say, I loved your book.Copy !req
153. Oh, well, thanks.Copy !req
154. What's your name?
Sharhooz.Copy !req
155. Oh, my God.Copy !req
156. It'll just be a few minutes.Copy !req
157. Oh, uh, excuse me, there's
something on the wall.Copy !req
158. Now you have exactly 20
seconds to find us a roomCopy !req
159. with a white sofa, a white
table, white hydrangeasCopy !req
160. and Fiji water!Copy !req
161. Geez, Stewie, there's
no need to—Copy !req
162. Ooh, I said no gray M & M's.
These are all gray.Copy !req
163. Don't worry, Brian.
I've got it all under control.Copy !req
164. You're a big canine star.Copy !req
165. They should be treating
you like Spuds MacKenzie.Copy !req
166. Man, I wonder
what he's doing now.Copy !req
167. Now, ladies,
approach him slowly.Copy !req
168. He can't really
see anymore.Copy !req
169. I've injected him
with the Viagra.Copy !req
170. Now, I'm gonna roll
him on his back,Copy !req
171. but you're pretty much gonna
have to do 100% of the work.Copy !req
172. We're here with Brian Griffin,
local authorCopy !req
173. of the new bestseller
Wish it, Want it, Do it.Copy !req
174. Am I pronouncing
that correctly?Copy !req
175. Uh, yeah.Copy !req
176. N-Now, what does that mean—
Wish It, Want It, Do It?Copy !req
177. Uh, well, it... it
basically just refers
to the steps necessaryCopy !req
178. for identifying and achieving
your dreams and doing soCopy !req
179. in as effective and expeditious
a manner as possible.Copy !req
180. Wow. And it's
nonfiction, right?Copy !req
181. Y... uh... yes, it is.Copy !req
182. Now, w-which one is
that? I always forget.Copy !req
183. Is that the one that
really happened or not?Copy !req
184. Uh... yeah.
Okay, oh, so this...Copy !req
185. so now... so this
is... this is a true story.Copy !req
186. Well, it's not really
a narrative—Copy !req
187. Doesn't matter. I'm hooked.Copy !req
188. And we'll be right
back with sports.Copy !req
189. Okay, you're doing
great so far.Copy !req
190. Now I was just texting
with New York.Copy !req
191. We're doing a
whole thing there.Copy !req
192. I booked your plane ticket,
and I specifically askedCopy !req
193. that you not sit next
to an Asian.Copy !req
194. Stewie, that's racist.
That's terrible.Copy !req
195. I'm sorry, do you want me
to call back and change it?Copy !req
196. Well, it's done now.
Seems like a lot of extra work.Copy !req
197. Okay, there's a book signingCopy !req
198. at the Barnes and Noble
on Union Square at 5:00.Copy !req
199. And then at 7:00 you're
meeting with a reporterCopy !req
200. from In Style magazine
at Pastis.Copy !req
201. I just wanna warn you,
she's very heavy.Copy !req
202. So be prepared for that.Copy !req
203. Geez, how heavy?
I don't know, but
apparently heavy enoughCopy !req
204. that they felt they
needed to warn me.Copy !req
205. Oh, look at this, your book
is number three on Amazon.Copy !req
206. Number three?Copy !req
207. Well, who's number one?Copy !req
208. Oh, it's that new biography
on Michael Jackson.Copy !req
209. Oh, come on, another one?Copy !req
210. Unless it was writtenCopy !req
211. by a ten-year-old's
bottom, who cares?Copy !req
212. I... it doesn't say who
the author is, Brian,Copy !req
213. but I... I would guess that
it's probably not that.Copy !req
214. Well, Stewie,
I can't tell youCopy !req
215. how much I appreciate
all you're doing.Copy !req
216. I mean, I-I have been so
happy with most everything.Copy !req
217. Oh... y... Most?Copy !req
218. Oh, yeah... Oh, don't even, it's
so tiny, those other things,Copy !req
219. it's not even worth...
Oh, my God, you're amazing.Copy !req
220. I've been so thrilled
with how you're doing.Copy !req
221. Oh, great.Copy !req
222. Hi, can I help you?Copy !req
223. Yeah, uh... Checking in.
Brian Griffin.Copy !req
224. You... You should
usually do that.Copy !req
225. That... You should
check me in.Copy !req
226. That's like one of the
things I was talking about.Copy !req
227. I just have to tell you,
I loved your book, Mr. Griffin.Copy !req
228. Oh, thank you so much.
You made my day.Copy !req
229. So, you still in school?Copy !req
230. Graduating this year.Copy !req
231. Well, we'll have to
celebrate while I'm here.Copy !req
232. Okay, well, I'll be
right back with your key.Copy !req
233. She's so pretty, isn't she?Copy !req
234. Yeah... you know.Copy !req
235. Do you think she liked me?Copy !req
236. I don't know.Copy !req
237. How... How weird would it beCopy !req
238. if she just showed up
at my room later?Copy !req
239. I... Pretty weird, I guess.Copy !req
240. Oh, my God, were you... were
you thinking of doing that?Copy !req
241. Sending her to my room?Copy !req
242. No... why?Copy !req
243. Why? Were you thinking
of me doing that?Copy !req
244. I don't even know what
you're saying anymore, man.Copy !req
245. Just... do... do whatever
you're thinking.Copy !req
246. Oh, man, crazy.Copy !req
247. Hi, um, I just want to say
that I can't tell youCopy !req
248. how much your book
has helped me.Copy !req
249. Uh-huh. What's your name?Copy !req
250. It's Jan.Copy !req
251. Okay, here you go, Dan.Copy !req
252. Y-Yeah, it's Jan.Copy !req
253. Back of the line. Go on.Copy !req
254. Come back around,
he'll try it again.Copy !req
255. Hi. Can you make
it out to Kelly?Copy !req
256. Well, hi there. I sure can.Copy !req
257. You know, I have to tell you,Copy !req
258. Wish It, Want It, Do It
totally changed my life.Copy !req
259. Well, you know, that's what I
set out to do with this book,Copy !req
260. so, you know, I gotta tell you,
that makes me feel pretty great.Copy !req
261. This is just a phone number.Copy !req
262. I know, I know,
my phone number.Copy !req
263. Oh.
Yeah.Copy !req
264. What do you think of that?Copy !req
265. Um, I'm not sure.Copy !req
266. Well, you know,
I'm sure for you.Copy !req
267. Oh.Copy !req
268. Yeah.Copy !req
269. I see.Copy !req
270. Yeah.Copy !req
271. I'm a little creeped out.Copy !req
272. Hey, congratulations,
somebody famous now hates you.Copy !req
273. Okay, so, that's enough
autographs, I think.Copy !req
274. Listen, I want to thank
you all for coming down.Copy !req
275. And remember, Wish It,
Want It, Buy It. All right.Copy !req
276. Brian, settle down.Copy !req
277. You're worse than that guy
from Penguin Publishing.Copy !req
278. You want to get a book
published, don't you?Copy !req
279. Well... yes.Copy !req
280. Well, if you want to be
in black and white,Copy !req
281. black and white's
gotta be in you.Copy !req
282. God, you know,
Stewie, I-I usedCopy !req
283. to think that
John Lennon was
kind of a jerkCopy !req
284. for saying The Beatles
were bigger than Jesus,Copy !req
285. but now, I mean, it's like,Copy !req
286. I'm not saying I am,
but I get it.Copy !req
287. You know, now that we have
two minutesCopy !req
288. to kinda let
the dust settle,Copy !req
289. I just wanna say
that I'm really proud of you.Copy !req
290. Hey, I'm proud of myself, man.Copy !req
291. I mean, I think
it's like... you know,Copy !req
292. I-I think everybody has
greatness in them,Copy !req
293. but it's-it's really about
having the courageCopy !req
294. to just kinda get inside
your own headCopy !req
295. and just kinda poke around in
there and, you know, be, like,Copy !req
296. "Hey, oh, my gosh,
what's under here?Copy !req
297. "Hey, what do you call yourself?Copy !req
298. "Oh, Wisdom.Copy !req
299. "Oh, Profundity.Copy !req
300. "Oh, Truth.Copy !req
301. "Hey, let's, let's all just go
hang out togetherCopy !req
302. between the covers of a book."Copy !req
303. I love hearing
about your process.Copy !req
304. Hey, enough about me.
This was a great meal.Copy !req
305. Oh, good, good,
I'm glad you like it.Copy !req
306. They told me
everybody comes here.Copy !req
307. Hey, there's
Renee Zellweger.Copy !req
308. Hey, Renee,
how you doin'?Copy !req
309. Oh, hi, Brian!Copy !req
310. She seemed really nice.Copy !req
311. Get over here!Copy !req
312. Is, is everything okay?Copy !req
313. No, everything is
not okay.Copy !req
314. Can you figure out
what the problem is?Copy !req
315. I-I don't...
I-I honestly have no...Copy !req
316. Oh, God!Copy !req
317. How do you think I feel walking
out of the back roomCopy !req
318. of a restaurant and seeing
Renee Zellweger eatingCopy !req
319. in the front room
of that restaurant?Copy !req
320. I am mortified.Copy !req
321. Absolutely mortified!Copy !req
322. You should know better
than this!Copy !req
323. I-I told them who you were
when I made the reservation!Copy !req
324. Look, I have written
a best-selling phenomenon!Copy !req
325. I should be sitting in
the front damn room!Copy !req
326. Okay, okay,
I hear you,
I hear you.Copy !req
327. And I just want you
to know that my only goal isCopy !req
328. to be able to help
you better.Copy !req
329. And you being
honest with me,Copy !req
330. well, that's helping
me do that.Copy !req
331. So thank you.Copy !req
332. Good.Copy !req
333. Oh, Brian, are you going
straight back to the hotel?Copy !req
334. 'Cause I was gonna go back...Copy !req
335. You know what, I'll just...
I'll take a cab.Copy !req
336. Oh.Copy !req
337. Well, at least
it's not raining.Copy !req
338. Hey, Brian,
welcome home!Copy !req
339. How was your
book signing?Copy !req
340. Geez, Lois,
could I have,Copy !req
341. like, five minutes
to decompress, please?Copy !req
342. It was a really
horrible flight,Copy !req
343. and I was sitting next
to a Japanese guy
who had a cold.Copy !req
344. Dear God,
he's become a monster!Copy !req
345. Stewie, I got a flea
thing goin' on in here!Copy !req
346. Where the hell's
my Frontline?Copy !req
347. Oh, my God! Brian! Brian!Copy !req
348. Brian, look at this!Copy !req
349. I got you on
Real Time with Bill Maher!Copy !req
350. You're kidding?
That's awesome, Stewie!Copy !req
351. Great job!Copy !req
352. Oh, "great job,"
so you know that phrase.Copy !req
353. What's that?
What?Copy !req
354. What phrase do I know?Copy !req
355. Bill Maher, whoo!Copy !req
356. Okay, so the topic is
going to be,Copy !req
357. "Should God play
a role in politics?"Copy !req
358. Oh, and here's your heartworm
pill wrapped in bologna.Copy !req
359. Stewie, the point
of the bologna isCopy !req
360. that I don't know
the pill is there.Copy !req
361. Why am I standing
under an air vent?Copy !req
362. Um... because...Copy !req
363. because that's where...Copy !req
364. Because that's where...Copy !req
365. I...
I...Copy !req
366. Because...
Because...Copy !req
367. Well...
Well...Copy !req
368. I can...
I can...Copy !req
369. Uh...
Uh..Copy !req
370. You...
Yeah...Copy !req
371. Uh...
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, uh.Copy !req
372. Okay, Mr. Griffin, we'll be
ready in five minutes.Copy !req
373. You'll be on the panel
with Arianna Huffington
and Dana Gould.Copy !req
374. Whoa, whoa, wait, wait.Copy !req
375. My-my publicist told me
Christopher HitchensCopy !req
376. would be on the panel.Copy !req
377. No, we told him Dana
and Arianna two hours ago.Copy !req
378. I did my prep research on
Christopher Hitchens.Copy !req
379. I am so... sorry.Copy !req
380. I am done with you.Copy !req
381. Do you hear me? Done!Copy !req
382. Get out of here now!Copy !req
383. Brian, please.Copy !req
384. You're fired!Copy !req
385. Yes, but I think the more
important questionCopy !req
386. that sometimes gets
ignored isCopy !req
387. what about the separation
of church and state?Copy !req
388. Well, Bill,
see, I think...Copy !req
389. Uh-uh-uh, actually, Dana,
if I may, if I may,Copy !req
390. I have some insight on this.
Bill, do you mind?Copy !req
391. Go, dog.Copy !req
392. Well, it just so happensCopy !req
393. that separation of church and
state is somethingCopy !req
394. I'm actually gonna cover in
my next book,Copy !req
395. God. Period. Dammit.Copy !req
396. What does that mean?Copy !req
397. Uh, well, if I can
expand on this.Copy !req
398. Um, for one thing,
"In God we trust" is on money.Copy !req
399. Now, what does that tell ya?Copy !req
400. Tells me Americans will get
all Christ-yCopy !req
401. about any sort
of stupid.Copy !req
402. So what?Copy !req
403. I think what's
actually alarming is the factCopy !req
404. that all this kind
of pseudo spirituality isCopy !req
405. being peddled to the American
people in books that have,Copy !req
406. really, less substance
than an issue of TV Guide.Copy !req
407. That's a good argument.
It's a very good argument.Copy !req
408. I agree. I agree.Copy !req
409. Really? Because I read
Wish It, Want It, Do It.Copy !req
410. Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed!Copy !req
411. Uh, gosh, next thing you know,Copy !req
412. both of you guys are
gonna tell meCopy !req
413. that it changed your lives.Copy !req
414. Uh, yeah, I,
I didn't read it.Copy !req
415. Oh, hey, oh, so you're the guy.Copy !req
416. It's-It's actually...
it's actually very popular.Copy !req
417. Well, it may be popular,Copy !req
418. but I, I have to say
I agree with Arianna.Copy !req
419. Uh, I think
it's actually quite harmful.Copy !req
420. Oh. Did you...?
When, when did you say that?Copy !req
421. I just did.Copy !req
422. Oh, gosh, I'm sorry, maybe,
maybe 'cause it soundsCopy !req
423. like you're talking
with a mouthful of syrup,Copy !req
424. I just didn't get it.Copy !req
425. Hey, you, man.Copy !req
426. Actually, it, it,
I mean, it seemsCopy !req
427. that these sorts of books tend
to pander to the laziest kindCopy !req
428. of self-help within the
narrowest socioeconomic range.Copy !req
429. I mean, yeah, you can wish it,
and you can do it,Copy !req
430. but only if you have
the educational advantages,Copy !req
431. the societal advantages
that, like, what,Copy !req
432. five percent
of the country has.Copy !req
433. Well, yeah, you forgot "want
it," which is such a big partCopy !req
434. of the book. I mean, but, but
you know, then again,Copy !req
435. you just said you haven't read
it, so, you know...Copy !req
436. Actually, since I said
that, I did read it.Copy !req
437. And that's another thing,
I have to sayCopy !req
438. aren't "wish it" and "want it"
really the same thing?Copy !req
439. I mean, your book...Copy !req
440. basically makes three points,Copy !req
441. and two of them
are the same point.Copy !req
442. Well, you know, I mean, it does
seem to be helpingCopy !req
443. a lot of people, Bill...Copy !req
444. Well, "help" is a strong word.Copy !req
445. Um, how does this help people,
like, with cancer or in Darfur?Copy !req
446. Well, I mean,
it's not really for them.Copy !req
447. It's for, like,
if you want a car.Copy !req
448. How-how does this help you get
a car?Copy !req
449. Well, I mean,
it doesn't with that attitude.Copy !req
450. I mean, you have...Copy !req
451. You have to do some
of the work yourself.Copy !req
452. That's why there are
50 blank pages.Copy !req
453. That's why I keep it
by the phone.Copy !req
454. I think what this is
is simple exploitationCopy !req
455. of the American people who could
be using the moneyCopy !req
456. that they spend to buy this book
to actually buy something usefulCopy !req
457. like legitimate healthcare
that they actually need.Copy !req
458. You know, what-what the hell's
your problem, Zsa Zsa?Copy !req
459. What is your problem, Snoopy?Copy !req
460. Look, what it comes down to is
that these false promises
of, like, a quick fixCopy !req
461. to any and every problem
that you would ever have,Copy !req
462. what books like these suggest is
actually damagingCopy !req
463. to a large, gullible segment
of the population.Copy !req
464. Oh, yeah, aren't you
a sitcom writer?Copy !req
465. I'm an author. I have
contributed to the zeitgeist.Copy !req
466. Do you even know
what "zeitgeist" means?Copy !req
467. If I didn't know what it meant,
I wouldn't use it, Dana—Copy !req
468. which... which is a girl's
name— and I'm...Copy !req
469. And you know,Copy !req
470. I-I'm not gonna
give you, I'm not gonna give youCopy !req
471. the definition right now just
for your satisfaction.Copy !req
472. You know, Brian, I don't think
you're in a position, really,Copy !req
473. here to pull rank on anybody.Copy !req
474. I mean, yes, Dana has made
a career in comedy.Copy !req
475. I don't think
he's ever done anythingCopy !req
476. as laughable as this book.Copy !req
477. Look, all right, well...Copy !req
478. What do you want?
I wrote it in a day.Copy !req
479. Listen, Bill, I amCopy !req
480. such a big fan of yours.Copy !req
481. I think you're totally getting
the wrong impression of me.Copy !req
482. I-I was just trying to write
something that would sell.Copy !req
483. I-I think it's crap, too.Copy !req
484. Wow. If I had even one shredCopy !req
485. of respect for you before this,
it's gone now.Copy !req
486. I mean, if you're gonna dump on
people,Copy !req
487. the kind of steaming, stinking,
smelly dumpCopy !req
488. that your kind traffics in...Copy !req
489. at least stand by your dump.Copy !req
490. O-okay, look,
I'm happy to do that.Copy !req
491. I-I-I'm just, I'm just try...Copy !req
492. Look, what I was saying...Copy !req
493. Look, just tell me
what you want me to say!Copy !req
494. Bill, he's urinating!Copy !req
495. That's it!Copy !req
496. Look, Bill, can I...?
Outside.Copy !req
497. No, no, no, outside!
Outside now!Copy !req
498. Outside!Copy !req
499. You get outside!Copy !req
500. Uh, knock-knock.Copy !req
501. Hey, Stewie.Copy !req
502. What do you want?Copy !req
503. I just wanna talk to you about
everything that happened.Copy !req
504. Um, you know,
you were the only personCopy !req
505. who believed in me
when I was down.Copy !req
506. This all happened so fast,
and I lost sight of who I was.Copy !req
507. I mean, you know, sure,Copy !req
508. you were in
a little over your head, but...Copy !req
509. Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa.Copy !req
510. I was in
over my head?Copy !req
511. Yeah, but, Stewie,
this isn't about all
the things you did wrong.Copy !req
512. It's about me apologizing.Copy !req
513. Okay, then apologize.Copy !req
514. I just did.
No, you didn't.Copy !req
515. You just said
it's about me
apologizing.Copy !req
516. That's not actually
apologizing.Copy !req
517. All right, Stewie,
I'm sorryCopy !req
518. that I made you uncomfortable
and put you in a situationCopy !req
519. that you clearly
couldn't handle.Copy !req
520. Okay, okay,
there it is again.Copy !req
521. What the hell?
Stop with that!Copy !req
522. Y-you're right.
You're right.Copy !req
523. This is,
this is about healing.Copy !req
524. This, this is not about
how many thingsCopy !req
525. you messed up
along the way.Copy !req
526. It's about how badly
I reacted to them.Copy !req
527. So, I'm sorry
about how badly I reactedCopy !req
528. to your many errors.Copy !req
529. That's as good as it's
gonna get, isn't it?Copy !req
530. Pretty much.
You can't write.Copy !req