1. HEY, STEWIE, HOW ABOUT DADDY
TEACHES YOU HOW TO SWIM?Copy !req
2. GO... AWAY... FAT MAN.Copy !req
3. AH! WHAT DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE DOING?Copy !req
4. NO MEANS NO! AH!Copy !req
5. OKAY, HERE GOES.Copy !req
6. COME ON, STEWIE.Copy !req
7. IN.. THE... POOL.Copy !req
8. NO, NO, I DON'T WANT TO DIE.Copy !req
9. I WANT TO LIVE. LIVE!Copy !req
10. PETER, STOP IT.Copy !req
11. HE'S NEVER GOING TO
LEARN LIKE THAT.Copy !req
12. MAYBE, THIS SUMMER, HE
SHOULD TAKE SWIM LESSONS.Copy !req
13. WOULD YOU LIKE
THAT, STEWIE?Copy !req
14. HMM. WELL, I GUESS
IT COULDN'T BE WORSECopy !req
15. THAN THAT SUMMER I SPENT
IN INDIA.Copy !req
16. WHATEVER YOU DO, SHORT ROUND,
DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING.Copy !req
17. OKAY, DR. JONES,
I NO TOUCH ANYTHING.Copy !req
18. INDY!Copy !req
19. LADY ONLY HERE
'CAUSE SHE HUMPING DIRECTOR.Copy !req
20. WHOA, LOOK AT THIS PLACE.Copy !req
21. WHAT HAPPENED TO SAL'S VIDEO?Copy !req
22. WE BOUGHT THEM OUT
TWO WEEKS AGO.Copy !req
23. WELCOME TO
LACKLUSTER VIDEO,Copy !req
24. 50,000 STORES NATIONWIDE.Copy !req
25. YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW,
I USED TO COME INTO SAL'SCopy !req
26. ONCE OR TWICE A WEEK
TO RENT MOVIESCopy !req
27. FROM HIS "BACK ROOM,"
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?Copy !req
28. A ROOM FOR "ADULTS ONLY,"
CATCH MY DRIFT?Copy !req
29. THE, YOU KNOW, KIND OF MOVIES
WHERE THEY'RE X-RATED PORNOSCopy !req
30. AND FULLY NUDE PEOPLE
FORNICATE FOR THE CAMERA,
GET MY MEANING?Copy !req
31. OH, I'M SORRY,
BUT LACKLUSTER VIDEOCopy !req
32. TAKES A STRONG MORAL STANCE
AGAINST PORNOGRAPHY,Copy !req
33. OPEN-MINDEDNESS
AND NON-CHRISTIANS.Copy !req
34. OH, YEAH? THEN WHY DO YOU RENT
PRINCE OF TIDES?Copy !req
35. BARBRA STREISAND IS JEWISH.Copy !req
36. WE EDIT SOME
OF OUR MOVIES.Copy !req
37. I THINK I'M IN LOVE
WITH YOU, DOCTOR.Copy !req
38. NO, TOM, YOU'RE WRONG.Copy !req
39. YOU DON'T LOVE ME.Copy !req
40. YOU LOVE THE IDEA OF ME.Copy !req
41. HI, I'M TOM TUCKER.Copy !req
42. DO ME A FAVOR
AND FILL THIS BAGCopy !req
43. WITH A SAMPLING
OF MOTION PICTURESCopy !req
44. FEATURING WOMEN ON WOMEN
OR ANYTHING WITH AN AMPUTEE.Copy !req
45. SAVE YOUR MONEY, TUCKER,
THIS PLACE DOESN'T HAVE PORN—Copy !req
46. THEY THINK IT'S IMMORAL.Copy !req
47. YOU KNOW,
THAT REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS.Copy !req
48. WHERE EXACTLY IN THE BIBLE
DOES IT SAYCopy !req
49. A MAN CAN'T "FIRE OFF
SOME KNUCKLE CHILDREN"Copy !req
50. IN THE PRIVACY OF HIS OWN
NEIGHBOR'S LIVING ROOMCopy !req
51. WHILE HIS NEIGHBOR'S AT WORKCopy !req
52. BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE
A DVD PLAYER?Copy !req
53. WELL, I DON'T KNOW
WHERE IT SAYS ITCopy !req
54. BECAUSE THE BIBLE
IS WAY TOO LONG TO READ.Copy !req
55. HEY, THAT WAS QUITE
A RANT THERE.Copy !req
56. YOU KNOW, WE'RE
LOOKING FOR AN EVERYMANCopy !req
57. TO RANT ABOUT PETTY
NONSENSICAL IRRITANTSCopy !req
58. TO REPLACE OUR "SPOTLIGHT ON
THE MIDDLE EAST" SEGMENT.Copy !req
59. HEY, I'D BE GREAT AT THAT.Copy !req
60. OH, I'VE BEEN DYING
TO GET BACK ON TELEVISIONCopy !req
61. EVER SINCE I STOPPED HOSTING
FAMILY FEUD.Copy !req
62. HOW ARE YOU, BETSY?Copy !req
63. WELCOME TO THE SHOW.Copy !req
64. YOU ARE A LOVELY
YOUNG WOMAN.Copy !req
65. LET ME JUST GET
MY HAND UP THERECopy !req
66. AND FEEL THAT ONE
AND THAT ONE.Copy !req
67. WE'RE LOOKING FOR SOMETHING
YOU SHOP FOR AT THE MALL.Copy !req
68. THREE SECONDS.Copy !req
69. COME ON, STEWIE,
DON'T BE AFRAID.Copy !req
70. IT'S JUST WATER,
IT'S NOT GOING TO BITE.Copy !req
71. SHUT UP.Copy !req
72. I KNOW IT'S NOT GOING
TO BITE, STUPID.Copy !req
73. WHAT A STUPID THING TO SAY.Copy !req
74. YOU DROWN IN IT, YOU MORON,
IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BITE YOU.Copy !req
75. HEY, LITTLE GUY,
TAKE A LOOK AT BRAD OVER THERE.Copy !req
76. HE'S MY STAR PUPIL.Copy !req
77. SEE HOW BRAVE HE IS?Copy !req
78. (SCOFFS):
HE'S NOT BRAVE.Copy !req
79. I'LL TELL YOU WHO WAS BRAVE—
GANDHI.Copy !req
80. AND THE AMERICANS ARE ALWAYS
LIKE, "HEY, BITCH."Copy !req
81. AND THE INDIAN PEOPLE, WE DO NOT
CALL OUR WOMEN IN SUCH A WAY.Copy !req
82. BOO! YOU SUCK!Copy !req
83. SO, IS IT JUST POOL
WATER THAT TURNS YOU
INTO A SNIVELING GIRLCopy !req
84. OR IS IT ALL WATER?Copy !req
85. MOM! BRIAN'S ASKING ME
IF IT'S JUST POOL WATERCopy !req
86. THAT TURNS ME INTO A SNIVELING
GIRL OR IF IT'S ALL WATER.Copy !req
87. I HEARD THAT OLYMPIC SWIMMERSCopy !req
88. SHAVE ALL THE HAIR OFF THEIR
HEAD AND THEIR PRIVATE AREASCopy !req
89. TO MAKE 'EM MOVE FASTER.Copy !req
90. LOOK, I DON'T NEED SOME
STUPID GIMMICK, ALL RIGHT?Copy !req
91. AS SOON AS I IMPROVE
MY TECHNIQUE,Copy !req
92. I'LL OUT-SWIM BRAD AS EASILY AS
I TOOK CARE OF THAT OTHER BOY.Copy !req
93. CASPER, GO LONG!Copy !req
94. SORRY ABOUT THAT, MAN.Copy !req
95. ARE YOU DEAD?
YEAH, WHATEVER.Copy !req
96. I WAS GOING TO OFF MYSELF
ON TUESDAY ANYWAY.Copy !req
97. HEY, PETER,
SHOULDN'T YOU BE GETTING READYCopy !req
98. FOR YOUR FIRST NEWS SEGMENT?Copy !req
99. YEAH, I'M A LITTLE
NERVOUS, THOUGH.Copy !req
100. I'M NOT SURE WHAT
TO TALK ABOUT.Copy !req
101. YOU COULD TALK
ABOUT ME.Copy !req
102. OH, OKAY, HONEY,
I'LL TALK ABOUT YOU.Copy !req
103. "HEY, I'M MEG, I GO TO SCHOOL,
I WEAR GLASSES."Copy !req
104. OH, SPOT ON.
SPOT ON.Copy !req
105. IN OTHER NEWS, AFTER
SEVERAL GRUELING DAYSCopy !req
106. OF FRIGHTENING UNCERTAINTY,
I FINALLY GET MY PERIOD.Copy !req
107. WELL, DIANE, I'M SURE YOU
AND YOUR BROTHERCopy !req
108. MUST BE DEVASTATED BY THE LOSS
OF THE TWO-HEADED OFFSPRINGCopy !req
109. THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN.Copy !req
110. WE NOW GO TO PETER GRIFFINCopy !req
111. FOR "YOU KNOW WHAT
REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS?"Copy !req
112. THANKS, TOM.Copy !req
113. YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY
GRINDS MY GEARS?Copy !req
114. NOBODY'S COME UP WITH
A NEW "PRIEST AND A RABBI" JOKECopy !req
115. IN, LIKE, 30 YEARS.Copy !req
116. YOU KNOW, I MEAN, OKAY,Copy !req
117. A PRIEST AND RABBI GO INTO
THE SUPERMARKET,Copy !req
118. AND THE PRIEST
WANTS TO BUY A HAMCopy !req
119. AND THE RABBI SAYS,
"AH, I CAN'T EAT IT.Copy !req
120. IT'S FORBIDDEN."Copy !req
121. COULDN'T EAT IT. NOT ALLOWED.Copy !req
122. PIGS ARE LIKE SUPERHEROES
TO THEM.Copy !req
123. IS IT PERFECT? NO.Copy !req
124. BUT I DON'T SEE YOU COMING UP
WITH ANYTHING.Copy !req
125. AND THAT, PEOPLE,
IS WHAT GRINDS MY GEARS.Copy !req
126. TOM?Copy !req
127. COME ON, YOU GONNA BE ALL DAY?Copy !req
128. I'M BRUSHING MY TEETH.Copy !req
129. YOU ONLY HAVE, LIKE,
TWO OF THEM.Copy !req
130. I MEAN HOW LONG COULD...?Copy !req
131. OH, GOD.Copy !req
132. OH, HEY.Copy !req
133. UH... WOW.Copy !req
134. YOU... DOING A LITTLE
HAIR REMOVAL THERE?Copy !req
135. OH, UH, YEAH. UM...Copy !req
136. YOU KNOW, FEEL FREE
TO SAY NO TO THIS,Copy !req
137. BUT, UM... WOULD YOU SHAVE
MY COIN PURSE?Copy !req
138. (LAUGHS):
OH...Copy !req
139. OH...Copy !req
140. OH, NO.Copy !req
141. NO WAY, MAN.Copy !req
142. OH...Copy !req
143. HOLY FREAKING GOD.Copy !req
144. OH...Copy !req
145. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE
SO UPTIGHT ABOUT IT.Copy !req
146. OKAY, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE
OUR FIRST FUN LITTLE RACE.Copy !req
147. WHEN I BLOW THIS WHISTLE,Copy !req
148. I WANT ALL THE PARENTS TO THROW
THEIR CHILDREN INTO THE POOL.Copy !req
149. IF YOUR CHILD DOESN'T
RESURFACE RIGHT AWAY,Copy !req
150. THEY'RE PROBABLY JUST TRYING
TO GET ATTENTION.Copy !req
151. READY?Copy !req
152. GOOD LUCK, STEWIE.Copy !req
153. (MIMICS):
GOOD LUCK, STEWIE.Copy !req
154. THAT'S YOU.Copy !req
155. THAT'S WHAT YOU
SOUND LIKE.Copy !req
156. YOU'RE MINE, BRAD.Copy !req
157. DAMN, DAMN, DAMN, DAMN, DAMN!Copy !req
158. (GURGLING):
EW! A BAND-AID!Copy !req
159. I'VE GOT YOU, SWEETIE.Copy !req
160. GOOD FOR YOU, BRAD.Copy !req
161. OH, ISN'T
HE ADORABLE.Copy !req
162. HE'S MUCH BETTER
THAN MY KIDS.Copy !req
163. SO, YOU THINK YOU CAN MAKE ME
LOOK LIKE A FOOL,Copy !req
164. DO YOU, YOU LITTLE BASTARD?Copy !req
165. WELL, GUESS AGAIN.Copy !req
166. OH, BRAD.Copy !req
167. THERE'S A PIECE OF MARZIPAN
OVER HERE FOR YOU.Copy !req
168. WHAT THE DEUCE?Copy !req
169. HELL?Copy !req
170. OH, THAT'S A BIT MUCH,
DON'T YOU THINK?Copy !req
171. I MEAN, SURE,
I'VE SPENT MY ENTIRE LIFECopy !req
172. TRYING TO KILL MY MOTHER,
BUT WHO HASN'T?Copy !req
173. YOU KNOW, REALLY, FOR HELL,
THIS ISN'T THAT BAD.Copy !req
174. HI, THERE, I'M STEVE ALLEN.Copy !req
175. OH, HELLO.Copy !req
176. ALL RIGHT, LET'S DO THIS.
(SCREAMS)Copy !req
177. (PANTING):
I'M ALIVE.Copy !req
178. I'M ALIVE!Copy !req
179. OH, STEWIE.
MY BABY.Copy !req
180. I THOUGHT I LOST YOU.Copy !req
181. (KISSING)
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.Copy !req
182. ALL THESE YEARS,
I THOUGHT I WAS LIVING IN HELL,Copy !req
183. BUT IT GETS SO MUCH WORSE.Copy !req
184. THIS IS A SIGN.Copy !req
185. WELL, FROM THIS DAY FORWARD,Copy !req
186. STEWART GILLIGAN GRIFFIN
WILL BE A GOOD BOY.Copy !req
187. I DON'T UNDERSTAND, I WAS ONLY
GONNA ASK HIM TO FIX MY COLLAR.Copy !req
188. HUH.Copy !req
189. WELL, I WONDER
WHAT THEY GOT ON TV IN HELL.Copy !req
190. MORNING, BRIAN.Copy !req
191. BEAUTIFUL DAY, ISN'T IT?Copy !req
192. THE KIND OF DAY THAT MAKES
YOU GLAD TO BE ALIVE.Copy !req
193. I MADE FUDGE.Copy !req
194. UH, OKAY.Copy !req
195. WHAT, UH... WHAT
ARE YOU DOING?Copy !req
196. WHOA, FROM THE FEEL OF IT,Copy !req
197. WORKING THROUGH QUITE
A FEW YEARS OF STRESS.Copy !req
198. THE THING IS,
WHEN I ALMOST DIED,Copy !req
199. I GOT A GLIMPSE
OF WHERE I WAS GOINGCopy !req
200. AND, WELL, I DID NOT
LIKE IT ONE BIT.Copy !req
201. WOW. I AM SO
UNCOMFORTABLE RIGHT NOW.Copy !req
202. SO, I'VE RESOLVED
TO CHANGE MY WAYSCopy !req
203. BECAUSE I KNOW NOW
WHO I WANT TO BE.Copy !req
204. THERE YOU ARE.Copy !req
205. DRINK PLENTY OF WATER.Copy !req
206. HEY, BRIAN?Copy !req
207. YEAH?Copy !req
208. THANKS FOR LISTENING.Copy !req
209. BOY, THAT WAS MORE DISTURBINGCopy !req
210. THAN THAT CARTOON
I SAW THE OTHER DAY.Copy !req
211. SHH.Copy !req
212. BE VEWY, VEWY QUIET,
I'M HUNTIN' WABBITS.Copy !req
213. EH, WHAT'S UP, DOC?Copy !req
214. OH, GOD! OH, GOD!Copy !req
215. SHH, QUIET, QUIET!
YOUR FATHER'S ON.Copy !req
216. YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY
GRINDS MY GEARS?Copy !req
217. THIS LINDSAY LOHAN.Copy !req
218. EH, LINDSAY LOHAN, WITH ALL
THOSE LITTLE OUTFITS.Copy !req
219. JUMPING AROUND THERE ON STAGE,
HALF-NAKEDCopy !req
220. WITH YOUR LITTLE OUTFITS.Copy !req
221. YOU KNOW, YOU'RE UP THERE
JUMPING AROUNDCopy !req
222. AND I'M JUST SITTING HERE
WITH MY BEER.Copy !req
223. SO, YOU KNOW,
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?Copy !req
224. WHAT DO YOU WANT?Copy !req
225. ARE WE GOING TO GO OUT?Copy !req
226. IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO...Copy !req
227. WHY YOU LEAPING AROUND THERE?Copy !req
228. THROWING THOSE THINGS ALL UP AND
OVER THERE IN MY FACE.Copy !req
229. EH, WHAT DO YOU WANT, LINDSAY?Copy !req
230. TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT.Copy !req
231. WELL, I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT YOU WANT.Copy !req
232. YOU WANT NOTHING.
YOU WANT NOTHING, ALL RIGHT?Copy !req
233. BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW
THAT NO WOMAN ANYWHERECopy !req
234. WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH ANYONE.Copy !req
235. AND TO TITILLATE US
WITH ANY THOUGHTS OTHERWISECopy !req
236. IS... IS... JUST BOGUS.Copy !req
237. OH, HE IS SO
RIGHT ON.Copy !req
238. WOMEN ARE SUCH TEASES.Copy !req
239. THAT'S WHY
I WENT BACK TO MEN.Copy !req
240. OKAY, MOM, THANKS FOR THAT.Copy !req
241. UM, SEE YOU LATER.Copy !req
242. GO ON.Copy !req
243. ANOTHER THING
THAT GRINDS MY GEARSCopy !req
244. IS WHEN I CAN'T FIND
THE DROIDS I'M LOOKING FOR.Copy !req
245. YEAH, ME, TOO.Copy !req
246. WHAT GIVES WITH THAT?Copy !req
247. AND THAT'S WHAT REALLY
GRINDS MY GEARS.Copy !req
248. CLEAR.Copy !req
249. REMOVE MY MICROPHONE.Copy !req
250. GREAT JOB, MR. GRIFFIN!Copy !req
251. GREAT JOB, PETER!Copy !req
252. OH, BOY, THIS GIG IS EVEN BETTER
THAN THAT JOB I HADCopy !req
253. PROVIDING NIGHTTIME HEAT
FOR LARA FLYNN BOYLE.Copy !req
254. THANKS SO MUCH, PETER.Copy !req
255. I WAS GETTING
A LITTLE CHILLY.Copy !req
256. NO SWEAT, LARA.Copy !req
257. HEY, YOU HAVE YOURSELF
A FINE SLEEP.Copy !req
258. HEY, LARA?Copy !req
259. YEAH?Copy !req
260. IS DYLAN MCDERMOTT
NICE IN PERSON?Copy !req
261. YEAH.Copy !req
262. GOOD.Copy !req
263. I FEEL RIDICULOUS.Copy !req
264. WELL, I CAN'T VERY WELL
FIT YOU UP HERE, CAN I?Copy !req
265. WHERE ARE WE GOING?Copy !req
266. WELL, THERE IS THE MOST
ABSOLUTELY PERFECT SPIDERWEBCopy !req
267. IN THE BUSHES
BY CLEVELAND'S HOUSE,Copy !req
268. AND YOU HAVE JUST GOT TO SEE IT.Copy !req
269. OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE.Copy !req
270. HEY, BRIAN, BRIAN.
WHAT?Copy !req
271. KNOCK-KNOCK.Copy !req
272. OH, COME ON.Copy !req
273. KNOCK-KNOCK.
WHO'S THERE?Copy !req
274. YOUR FRIEND, STEWIE,Copy !req
275. AND HE'S ALWAYS GOING
TO BE THERE FOR YOU.Copy !req
276. YES, TABLE FOR TWO.Copy !req
277. I'M SORRY, WE HAVE
A 45-MINUTE WAIT.Copy !req
278. OH, ISN'T THAT
TOO BAD, HONEY?Copy !req
279. BECAUSE I KNOW WAITING
IN LINE AT A RESTAURANTCopy !req
280. REALLY, UH,
"GRINDS YOUR GEARS."Copy !req
281. (GASPS)
OH, MY GOD, IT'S YOU!Copy !req
282. I LOVED YOUR RANT
ABOUT HOW BREAD IS SQUARECopy !req
283. AND BOLOGNA IS ROUND!Copy !req
284. OH, A TABLE JUST OPENED UP.Copy !req
285. HEY, WE'VE BEEN WAITING!Copy !req
286. SHH! THAT'S MICHAEL MOORE.Copy !req
287. MR. TUCKER, WE NEED THIS TABLE.Copy !req
288. BUT, I'VE
ALREADY ORDERED.Copy !req
289. OH, WE HAVE A PRIVATE BOOTH
SET UP FOR YOU.Copy !req
290. THIS WAY.Copy !req
291. GRIFFIN.Copy !req
292. DIANE.Copy !req
293. I CAN'T BELIEVE
WE GOT A TABLECopy !req
294. AT THE HOTTEST RESTAURANT
IN TOWN, WITHOUT A RESERVATION!Copy !req
295. WE REALLY ARE MOVING UP
IN THE WORLD.Copy !req
296. YEAH, BUT I'D LOVE TO SEE WHAT
THOSE PRIVATE BOOTHS ARE LIKE.Copy !req
297. THIS IS TOTALLY
UNACCEPTABLE.Copy !req
298. HOW LONG
ARE YOU GOING TO BE?Copy !req
299. I'M VERY HUNGRY.Copy !req
300. HEY, "B," RUPERT AND I
WERE JUST ABOUT TO DINE...Copy !req
301. EX-EXCUSE ME,
DID YOU JUST CALL ME "B"?Copy !req
302. YES, "B," RUPERT AND I
WERE JUST ABOUT TO DINECopy !req
303. ON THIS MIXTURE OF PLAY-DOH
AND RUG-HAIR.Copy !req
304. CARE TO JOIN?
OH, NO, THANKS.Copy !req
305. I JUST THOUGHT YOU
MIGHT BE INTERESTED
IN SEEING THIS.Copy !req
306. THIS IS THE MOST
ABSOLUTELYCopy !req
307. PERFECTLY DESTROYED
SPIDERWEB.Copy !req
308. WH-WHERE'S THE SPIDER?Copy !req
309. KNOCK-KNOCK.
WHO'S THERE?Copy !req
310. I ATE HIM!
YOU BASTARD!Copy !req
311. WHO THE HELL
DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?Copy !req
312. HA! I KNEW IT.Copy !req
313. I KNEW YOU HADN'T
REALLY CHANGED.Copy !req
314. OKAY, SO I WAS FAKING
BEING NICE.Copy !req
315. IT'S NOT THE WORST THING
I'VE EVER DONE.Copy !req
316. OOH, STEVE,
IT'S COMING RIGHT AT US!Copy !req
317. GRAB IT.
I DON'T WANT
TO GET IN THE WAY.Copy !req
318. IT'S A FOUL BALL.Copy !req
319. WHAT HARM CAN IT DO?Copy !req
320. LOOK, I REALLY DON'T WANT
TO GO TO HELL,Copy !req
321. BUT I CAN'T FIGHT
MY NATURE.Copy !req
322. I'M JUST
A HATEFUL PERSON.Copy !req
323. YOU'RE NOT HATEFUL.Copy !req
324. YOU JUST NEED TO CONTROL
YOUR ANGER, LIKE I DO.Copy !req
325. YOU MEAN BY BEING SAUCED
ALL DAY?Copy !req
326. WAIT A MINUTE.
OF COURSE, THAT'S IT!Copy !req
327. IF I'M DRUNK, I'LL BE CALM;
IF I'M CALM, I'LL BE NICE;Copy !req
328. AND IF I'M NICE,
I WON'T GO TO HELL.Copy !req
329. FIX ME A HIGHBALL.Copy !req
330. I'M GOING TO GET
GOOD AND TIGHT.Copy !req
331. LOOK, YOU
CAN'T DRINK.Copy !req
332. YOU'RE AN INFANT,
ALL RIGHT?Copy !req
333. BESIDES, THERE ARE BETTER
WAYS TO SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS.Copy !req
334. OH, I SUPPOSE
YOU'RE RIGHT.Copy !req
335. THANKS, BRIAN;
I WAS WEAK.Copy !req
336. NO PROBLEM.Copy !req
337. OH, MY GOD!Copy !req
338. DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S TIME FOR?Copy !req
339. A SEXY PARTY!Copy !req
340. SO, BRIAN,
I... UH, WHAT?Copy !req
341. I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING.Copy !req
342. OH, I THOUGHT, I THOUGHT
YOU INTERRUPTED ME.Copy !req
343. DON'T-DON'T
INTERRUPT ME.Copy !req
344. ARE YOU OKAY?Copy !req
345. I'M AS OKAY
AS YOUR FACE.Copy !req
346. I'M SORRY, I'M
SORRY, I'M SORRY.Copy !req
347. SO, HONEY, WHAT ARE YOU
GONNA RANT ABOUT TODAY?Copy !req
348. CAN WE GET A
LITTLE PREVIEW?Copy !req
349. OH, I GOTCopy !req
350. PARENTS WHO LET THEIR KIDS
DO ANYTHING THEY WANT.Copy !req
351. I HATE THAT, YOU KNOW?Copy !req
352. LIKE WHEN I'M
IN A RESTAURANT, RIGHT?Copy !req
353. TRYING TO ENJOY
MY DINNER?Copy !req
354. AND LITTLE BABY JUNIOR
SON OF A BITCH OVER THERECopy !req
355. IS SCREAMING HIS HEAD OFF.Copy !req
356. PARENTS NEED TO CONTROL
THEIR KIDS.Copy !req
357. HEY, EVERYBODY,
LOOK!Copy !req
358. I'M, I'M GONNA DO SOMETHING
THAT'S GONNA FREAK YOU OUT!Copy !req
359. I'M GONNA JUMP FROM THIS SHELF
TO MY HIGH CHAIR.Copy !req
360. I'M GONNA JUMP.Copy !req
361. ARE YOU WATCHING?Copy !req
362. ARE YOU? ARE YOU?Copy !req
363. STEWIE, DON'T INTERRUPT!Copy !req
364. IT GRINDS MY GEARS
WHEN YOU DO THAT.Copy !req
365. OH, HE SAID IT!Copy !req
366. OH! OOH!Copy !req
367. YOU'RE GO... YOU'RE GO...
YOU'RE GOING TO MISS IT.Copy !req
368. YOU'RE GONNA MISS IT.
YOU'RE GONNA MISS IT.Copy !req
369. OH! OH, DUDE!Copy !req
370. DID YOU SEE THAT?Copy !req
371. DID YOU GUYS...?Copy !req
372. OH, MAN, LOOK AT THIS,
LOOK AT THIS GASH.Copy !req
373. LOOK AT THIS GASH,
RIGHT UP THE SIDE OF MY LEG.Copy !req
374. OH! OH, I CUT MYSELF DEEP.Copy !req
375. OH. DOESN'T HURT, THOUGH.Copy !req
376. UH, STEWIE, I THINK
IT'S TIME FOR YOUR NAP.
UH, WILL YOU ALL EXCUSE US?Copy !req
377. GOD... WHAT THE HELL...Copy !req
378. WHY ARE WE IN HERE...?Copy !req
379. IT'S, IT'S RUDE
TO THE OTHER PEOPLE.Copy !req
380. YOU'RE DRUNK.
YOU'RE SEXY.Copy !req
381. LISTEN, YOU HAVE
TO STOP THIS, ALL RIGHT?Copy !req
382. NO MORE DRINKING.Copy !req
383. I'M SORRY I EVEN
PUT IT IN YOUR HEAD.Copy !req
384. I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS.Copy !req
385. I'VE NEVER FELT BETTER.Copy !req
386. OKAY, NOW I'VE NEVER
FELT BETTER.Copy !req
387. YOU KNOW, PETER, THERE'S GOING
TO BE A LOT OF PEOPLE
WATCHING TONIGHT.Copy !req
388. BETTER KEEP YOUR BALLS
ON THE PRIZE.Copy !req
389. EYEBALLS... ON THE BALL...
EYES ON THE BALL.Copy !req
390. (CLEARING THROAT):
TAKE TWO.Copy !req
391. YOU KNOW, PETER,
THERE'S GOING TO BECopy !req
392. A LOT OF PEOPLE
WATCHING TONIGHT.Copy !req
393. BETTER NOT SCREW UP.Copy !req
394. USE TAKE TWO.Copy !req
395. OH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME, TOM.
I'LL BE FINE.Copy !req
396. WE'RE ON IN THREE...
TWO...Copy !req
397. AND NOW IT'S TIMECopy !req
398. FOR "YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY
GRINDS MY GEARS?"Copy !req
399. WITH PETER GRIFFIN.Copy !req
400. THANKS, DIANE.Copy !req
401. YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY
GRINDS MY GEARS?Copy !req
402. HEY! HEY!Copy !req
403. THOSE X-RAY SPECS YOU
USED TO BUY OUT OF THE COMICS.Copy !req
404. HEY, SCREW UP!Copy !req
405. I SAVE UP FOREVER TO
BUY THESE THINGSCopy !req
406. AND WHEN I
FINALLY GET 'EM YESTERDAY,Copy !req
407. I COULDN'T SEE THE INSIDE
OF MY SON'S BELLY.Copy !req
408. BLAH! BLAH!Copy !req
409. SEE, I WANTED TO
SEE IF HE'D EATENCopy !req
410. THE LAST NILLA WAFER,Copy !req
411. 'CAUSE I TOLD HIM
I WANTED IT.Copy !req
412. BOY, I TELL YA, THAT REALLY
GRINDS MY GEARS.Copy !req
413. PAY ATTENTION TO ME,
I'M TRYING TO RUIN YOU!Copy !req
414. YOU WANTED TO SEE ME, SIR?Copy !req
415. YOU'RE FIRED, TOM.Copy !req
416. TURN IN YOUR PRESS PASS AND
ANY OTHER STUDIO PROPERTY.Copy !req
417. WHAT ARE WE
DOING HERE?Copy !req
418. SO, YOU LIKE BEING DRUNK?Copy !req
419. FINE, I'M GOING
TO GET YOU SO DRUNK,Copy !req
420. YOU'LL NEVER WANT
TO DRINK AGAIN.Copy !req
421. COME ON.Copy !req
422. COLD.Copy !req
423. IT'S SO COLD.Copy !req
424. THANKS, HORACE.Copy !req
425. HEY, IS HE 18?Copy !req
426. HORACE, THE DRINKING
AGE IS 21.Copy !req
427. OH.Copy !req
428. OKAY, OKAY, UH... UH...
TO THE BLACK MAN.Copy !req
429. THANKS FOR TAKING IT
ALL IN STRIDE.Copy !req
430. WAS THAT... WAS THAT GOOD?Copy !req
431. OH, GOD.Copy !req
432. THANK YOU, MAN.Copy !req
433. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU
SAVED ALL THOSE.Copy !req
434. LOIS... LO... YOU THINK LOIS
WILL LIKE THESE?Copy !req
435. YOU LOVE LOIS!Copy !req
436. SHUT UP.Copy !req
437. YOU KNOW WHAT?
GIVE ME THE KEYS.Copy !req
438. OH, NO, I'M FINE.Copy !req
439. NO, NO, GIVE ME YOUR KEYS.Copy !req
440. NO, I'M DRIVING.Copy !req
441. GIVE ME YOUR KEYS,
YOU'RE TOO DRUNK.
I'M OKAY.Copy !req
442. PETER, MEG, BRIAN,
YOU'RE TOO...Copy !req
443. WHAT?
BRIAN, YOU'RE
TOO DRUNK TO DRIVE.Copy !req
444. I... I... I... AM...
YOU'RE RIGHT.Copy !req
445. HERE. HERE YOU GO.Copy !req
446. SHH.Copy !req
447. AND THAT'S IT FOR SPORTS.Copy !req
448. NOW LET'S GO TO OLLIE WILLIAMSCopy !req
449. WITH THE ADOPT-A-PET
OF THE WEEK.Copy !req
450. WHO WANTS THIS DOG?Copy !req
451. THANKS, OLLIE.Copy !req
452. AND NOW LET'S GO
TO PETER GRIFFINCopy !req
453. WITH "YOU KNOW WHAT
REALLY GRINDS MY"...Copy !req
454. TOM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
YOU DON'T WORK HERE ANYMORE.Copy !req
455. WELL, DIANE, I HAVE
AN EXCLUSIVE STORY.Copy !req
456. AND I CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW
TO CHECK MY E-MAIL FROM HOME.Copy !req
457. DID YOU CHECK YOUR
TCP/IP SETTINGS?Copy !req
458. YES, I DID, OLLIE.Copy !req
459. ENABLE COOKIES?
YES, OLLIE.Copy !req
460. YOU WANT THIS DOG?
NO, THANK YOU, OLLIE.
ROLL TAPE.Copy !req
461. THIS WAS THE SCENE AT THE
DRUNKEN CLAM LAST NIGHTCopy !req
462. AS A CAR DRIVEN BY
AN INTOXICATED INFANTCopy !req
463. CAUSED THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS
WORTH OF DAMAGE.Copy !req
464. (SLURRED):
PUT THIS ON MY TAB.Copy !req
465. IT WAS LIKE IT ALL
SLOWED DOWN, YOU KNOW,Copy !req
466. AND I WAS LIKE "WHOA,"
BUT I COULDN'T STOP IT.Copy !req
467. AND WHO IS THE FATHER OF
THE CHILD IN THAT CAR?Copy !req
468. OOH, TOM, I KNOW THIS!
I KNOW THIS!Copy !req
469. TOM, OVER HERE!
TOM! OOH! OOH!Copy !req
470. THE MAN YOU ALLCopy !req
471. YOUR BELOVED PETER GRIFFIN.Copy !req
472. GOOD THING HE DIDN'T
CALL ON ME.Copy !req
473. I WAS GONNA SAY
TIM MEADOWS.
THANKS, TOM.Copy !req
474. AND NOW NEGLECTFUL FATHER
AND QUAHOG'SCopy !req
475. NEWEST SOCIAL PARIAH,
PETER GRIFFINCopy !req
476. WITH ANOTHER SEGMENT
OF "GRIND MY GEARS."Copy !req
477. PETER?Copy !req
478. THANK YOU, DIANE.Copy !req
479. YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY GRINDS
MY GEARS?Copy !req
480. PEOPLE IN THE 19TH CENTURY.Copy !req
481. WHY DON'T THEY GET WITH
THE FREAKIN' PROGRAM?Copy !req
482. IT'S CALLED AN AUTOMOBILE,
FOLKS.Copy !req
483. IT'S MUCH FASTER THAN A HORSE...Copy !req
484. OH, WELL,
IT APPEARS I'VE BEEN FIRED.Copy !req
485. WELL, AS LONG AS I'M NO LONGER
WORKING HERE,Copy !req
486. LET ME TELL YOUCopy !req
487. YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY
GRINDS MY GEARS?Copy !req
488. YOU, AMERICA.Copy !req
489. (BLEEP) YOU.Copy !req
490. DIANE?Copy !req
491. HEY, TOM, CATCH.Copy !req
492. DID YOU MISS DADDY?
DID YOU MISS DADDY?Copy !req
493. NO, IT'S ALL RIGHT, IT'S ALL...
OH, YOU'RE SHAKING.Copy !req
494. GO AWAY.Copy !req
495. HUH, A LITTLE HUNG OVER?Copy !req
496. I'M NEVER GOING
TO DRINK AGAIN.Copy !req
497. WELL, I HOPE YOU
LEARNED SOMETHING
FROM ALL THIS.Copy !req
498. I MOST CERTAINLY
DID, BRIAN.Copy !req
499. IT SEEMS I'M STILL
FINDING MYSELF.Copy !req
500. BUT FOR THE MOMENT, I'VE JUST
GOT TO ACCEPT THE FACTCopy !req
501. THAT I'M AN ANGRY BOYCopy !req
502. WHO'LL OCCASIONALLY TRY
TO BURN DOWN A HOUSECopy !req
503. OR TOSS A POISON DART
AT HIS MOTHER.Copy !req
504. AFTER ALL, I CAN'T LET ONE
NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCECopy !req
505. CHANGE MY WHOLE LIFE, CAN I?Copy !req
506. WELL, I'M GLAD YOU FINALLY
FIGURED THAT OUT.Copy !req
507. YOU GONNA BE OKAY?Copy !req
508. YES, YES. I'LL BE FINE.Copy !req
509. I JUST WISH I COULD REMEMBER
WHERE I WAS LAST NIGHT...Copy !req
510. AND WHO THE HELL "R.M." IS.Copy !req
511. GOT TO PLAY THIS
ONE RIGHT, ROGER.Copy !req
512. CAN'T SEEM DESPERATE.Copy !req
513. WAIT THREE DAYS.
THAT'S THE RULE.Copy !req
514. OH, GOD, I WANT TO
TALK TO HIM NOW!Copy !req
515. (KEYPAD BEEPING,
LINE RINGS ONCE)
DAMN!Copy !req