1. movie info: XVID 512x384 25.0fps 174.2 MB
/SubEdit b.4072 /
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2. Family Guy:
"Patriot Games"
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3. Fogia & nedrelef
Raceman
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4. All right,
all bets are in.
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5. Ooh, Rupert, bad idea
trusting the Celtics.
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6. Worse than when I trusted Brian
to pack my parachute.
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7. Hey, Brian, care
to place a wager?
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8. Tomorrow night on Fox's
Celebrity Boxing,
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9. I've got Carol Channing beating
Mike Tyson in three rounds.
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10. Carol Channing...
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11. You've got Carol Channing, the actress,
beating Mike Tyson, the boxer.
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12. Hell, give me
50 bucks on Tyson.
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13. Well, you're in good company.
Betting Freddy took the same wager.
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14. B- b-b-b-b-b-b-
b- b-b-b-b-bet!
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15. Wait a minute. There's nothing funny
about an addiction.
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16. Vote "no"
on Indian gaming laws.
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17. And we're back with Fox Celebrity Boxing
with Mike Tyson and Carol Channing.
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18. I tell you, Jim, how Carol Channing
outlasted that barrage
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19. in the second round
we'll never know.
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20. Come here, young man.
I'm gonna bop you one.
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21. - She's getting beat!
- No, she's getting mad.
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22. Ah, you ain't so tough,
young man.
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23. That all you got, you son of a bitch.
You're going down, young man.
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24. You're going down!
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25. I ca... I can't believe this.
She keeps getting up.
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26. I'm so exhausted.
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27. And the winner, by technical knockout,
weighing in at 67 pounds,
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28. Carol "Put on Your
Sunday Clothes" Channing!
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29. Yeah!
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30. Up yours, young people.
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31. You and your rock and roll
eight-track tapes!
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32. I don't believe this.
I just lost a $50 bet.
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33. You know, Mike Tyson
once beat up his wife.
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34. But there's nothing
funny about that.
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35. Hi, guys. We're back
from the mall.
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36. I got new shoes.
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37. The old ones
are in the box.
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38. They smell and are old.
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39. Hey, Peter, your 25th high
school reunion is next Sunday.
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40. Eh, throw that away.
I don't wanna go.
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41. Besides, Sunday's
my Internet porn night.
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42. Oh, yeah!
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43. You're my Chinese Lois.
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44. Hey, it's me.
Knock-knock.
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45. So, uh, you got, uh,
you got my money?
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46. Huh? Oh, yeah.
I'll pay you soon?
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47. Yeah, well, um,
here's a suggestion. Um...
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48. Have the money by tomorrow
and there won't be any problems.
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49. - Huh?
- Yeah, 24 hours.
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50. Why? What happens
in 24 hours?
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51. Huh? I don't know.
I'm not psychic, man.
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52. I'm just saying it would probably be better
for everybody if you had the money tomorrow.
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53. Yeah, all right.
I'll see what I can do.
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54. Sweet, sweet. Great.
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55. - Uh, how's everything else going?
- Good.
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56. All right, all right.
See you later.
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57. Don't forget.
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58. Nah, you're not
going to forget.
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59. Hey, Peter, I was
going through your garbage
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60. and I noticed your high school
reunion is coming up.
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61. Why were you
going through my garbage?
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62. Well, when I stopped
over earlier,
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63. I noticed Lois clipping her toenails
and I thought:
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64. "Oh, man,
I gotta get in on that. "
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65. Huh.
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66. Yeah, I don't think
I'm going to my reunion.
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67. Everybody's all got
their nice cars
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68. and their big, important
jobs, and their fancy hats,
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69. and their fresh strawberries so big
you can eat them like a hand fruit.
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70. Peter, everyone lies at those things.
Just tell them you're a big shot.
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71. Wait a second, Joe,
that's a great idea.
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72. Boy, imagine what it would be
like to be a big shot.
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73. Diego?
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74. Sweaty.
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75. Ah... thank you.
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76. - Stewie. Uh, hey.
- Hey, there.
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77. So, uh, it's been 24 hours.
Got my money?
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78. Oh, I... You know what? Just give me
till next Friday, I'll have it for.
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79. Oh, that's funny. I could have sworn
I said, have it today.
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80. Yeah, I don't
have it, sorry.
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81. Oh, well.
All right, then.
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82. Mmm, that's good OJ.
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83. - Yeah, that hurt? That hurt?
- What the hell?
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84. Yeah, that doesn't
feel so good, does it?
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85. - No, huh?
- Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
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86. Yeah, that's what
happens, man.
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87. - Oh, my God.
- Yeah, that's what happens.
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88. Where's my money?
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89. You gonna give me my money?
Where's my money, man?
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90. Where's the money?
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91. Yeah, you like that?
That feel good?
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92. That feel good?
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93. Where's the money, man?
Where's my money?
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94. You've got till 5:00, you hear me?
You got till 5:00.
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95. - You freakin' psychopath!
- Clean yourself up.
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96. Peter, this is ridiculous.
Why can't you just be yourself?
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97. Lois, just go along with
it. Act like I'm a big shot.
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98. - Hey, Peter Griffin, is that you?
- Hey, Mike, long time no see.
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99. - Wow, what, uh... what's all this?
- Oh, this? Oh, I just came from work.
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100. I'm a Secret Agent
Astronaut Millionaire.
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101. Cool. Where'd you
get the cowboy hat?
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102. Space.
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103. Oh, by the way,
this is my friend, Tom.
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104. You're Tom Brady
from the New England Patriots!
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105. Oh man, I got to tell you,
you kick ass, man.
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106. In fact, I was just saying
that the other day,
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107. to all the guys down
at the brewery.
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108. Brewery?
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109. I thought you were
a cowboy astronaut millionaire.
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110. He's a fake!
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111. Look, this cowboy hat
comes right off.
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112. Coming here was
a huge mistake, Lois.
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113. Peter, I know you're humiliated,
but getting drunk is not the answer.
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114. Uh-oh. Either my esophagus just got
shorter, or I'm about to throw up.
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115. Peter, that was amazing.
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116. I've never a seen a guy your size
who could move like that.
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117. How would you like to play
for the New England Patriots?
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118. Oh. I'd love to.
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119. Say, listen, uh, Tom, could you get me
a towel? I threw up on the floor.
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120. Sure.
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121. And could you also
get another towel?
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122. I also threw up on
this gentleman's bare lap.
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123. - Could you wet the towel?
- Wet the towel, Tom?
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124. Our top story tonight, we go live
to terrific haircut Bob Costas,
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125. as he talks with local
man Peter Griffin,
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126. who is living his dream of playing for
the New England Patriots. Bob?
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127. Thanks, Tom, I'm fond
of your hair, as well.
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128. I'm standing here with Tom Brady
and his newest teammate, Peter Griffin.
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129. Hey, Ma! Check it out!
I'm married to a pro athlete!
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130. What do you think of that?
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131. We're really excited
to have Peter.
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132. I think he's gonna make a great
addition to a great team.
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133. I want to thank God.
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134. Uh, I want to thank the Lord God.
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135. Uh, 'cause it's not really up
to me, it's up to him.
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136. Um, and I want
to thank the Devil, too.
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137. Uh, you know, 'cause that's,
uh, that's why God's there.
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138. He's, uh...
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139. he's minding the fence, making sure
that guy never comes back.
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140. Uh...
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141. You know, if it weren't for the Devil,
God'd probably go insane,
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142. blow his brains out
from boredom, you know?
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143. Everybody likes to feel useful.
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144. Make-a da world go round.
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145. Back to you, Tom.
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146. Diane, didn't your first husband
blow his brains out?
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147. Oh, yes...
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148. Coming up, America's hottest
new curse word, "kleeman. "
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149. We'll tell you
what it means after this.
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150. Boy, Lois, I can't believe
this is happening to me.
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151. I'm somebody now, you know?
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152. I- I don't have to lie to people
about my life anymore.
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153. Oh, I am so happy
for you, Peter.
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154. What the hell
happened to you?
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155. I, uh...
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156. Fell down the stairs.
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157. Oh, you should be more careful.
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158. All right, I'm ready. Come on, good
game. Good game, everybody. Yeah.
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159. Come on, good game.
Let's get out there. Let's do it.
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160. Yeah, yeah.
110%, everybody.
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161. 110%. Huh? Come on, let's go.
Let's go. Good game!
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162. Ready! Blue 20, blue 20!
Hut, hut!
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163. - Griffin, let go!
- Let's go?
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164. - Mornin'.
- Good day to you, sir.
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165. Hey, wait a minute.
What the hell?
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166. Getting real tired of
you ducking me, man.
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167. - Yeah?
- Oh, my God!
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168. Yeah, getting
really tired.
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169. Huh?
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170. Where's my money?
Where's my money?
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171. Yeah, you got money to pay
for fake moustaches, huh?
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172. Yeah. Yeah. How-How much
you pay for that fake moustache?
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173. $2.99. Ooooooh!
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174. Listen, you just got
to give me more time...
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175. Don't make a fool
out of me, man.
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176. Don't make a fool out of me.
I want my money.
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177. - I want my money, man.
- Stewie...
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178. Listen, this is crazy. You got...
Oh, my God.
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179. All right,
let's go to the bank.
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180. Well, I got to tell you, this was
a delicious dinner, Mrs. Griffin.
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181. Oh.
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182. Well, the pleasure is
all ours, Mr. Brady.
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183. Please, call me Tom.
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184. - Can I call you Tom, too?
- Well, of course.
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185. Mr. Brady, would you please
sign my Trapper Keeper?
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186. Oh, Tom, your shirt.
I'm so sorry.
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187. Look, you can use our
shower if you want.
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188. No, it's okay. It's just
a little spot. It'll come out.
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189. Well, that's not gonna come out.
You better take a shower.
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190. - Mom, let me look!
- Meg, stop shoving.
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191. You wouldn't even know
what to do with it.
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192. He's closer to my age,
you cow.
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193. What the hell is this?
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194. Oh, hi, Stewie.
We were just leaving.
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195. I say, what the devil is all
the fuss about? I don't get it.
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196. What's in there?
Bing, bong! Hello!
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197. - Hey. What's goin' on?
- What the hell? Get out of here!
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198. Well, we're on the same team.
We shower together.
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199. Yeah, in the locker room.
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200. - Yeah, yeah, come here, you.
- Ah, stop, knock it off.
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201. What are you crazy?
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202. We're just a couple of guys messing
around. That's what we are.
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203. Ooh, ooh, quiet, everybody,
my commercial's on.
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204. Hi, I'm Peter Griffin
of the New England Patriots.
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205. I'm here to kick off the
Touchdown of Savings Weekend,
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206. at Wilkins Hyundai and Subaru.
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207. We will blitz the competition,
and in no time,
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208. you'll be driving your new Hyundai
or Subaru right to a touchdown.
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209. At Wilkins Hyundai
and Subaru
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210. We have Hyundais
and Subarus.
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211. Mom, the game's about to start.
Where's Dad?
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212. I don't know, Chris.
And I'm starting to get worried.
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213. I think all this success
might be going to his head.
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214. Do you know he spent
$30,000 on a wax sculpture,
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215. of Harriet Tubman
doing Gwyneth Paltrow?
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216. Yeah.
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217. Yeah, that is
happening for real.
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218. Yeah.
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219. I'll enjoy that more tomorrow.
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220. Where the hell is Griffin?
It's almost time for kickoff.
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221. Well, I guess we have
to start without him.
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222. What do you think, huh? I got this
for doing that car dealership ad.
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223. All right, enough messing around, huh?
Let's play this game.
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224. Let's play
some football.
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225. Griffin, I'm getting really
tired of your cocky attitude.
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226. How many times have I told you,
no showboating?
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227. Relax, Tom, I'm just having a little
fun. I got it under control.
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228. Okay, 28-Z right,
pitch left,
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229. on one, on one.
Ready? Break!
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230. Ready? Green 54! Green 54!
Set, hut, hut!
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231. Yeah!
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232. Huh, there might be some hope
for this guy after all.
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233. Damn it, Griffin!
I said no showboating!
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234. This calls for a victory tune!
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235. Now, a woman who'll kiss on the very
first date is usually a hussy.
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236. And a woman who'll kiss on the
second time out Is anything but fussy
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237. But a woman who'll wait
till the third time around
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238. Head in the clouds,
feet on the ground
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239. She's the girl he's glad he's found.
She's his Shipoopi
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240. Shipoopi, Shipoopi, Shipoopi
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241. The girl is hard to get.
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242. Shipoopi, Shipoopi, Shipoopi
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243. But you can win her yet
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244. Walk around once,
just to raise the curtain.
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245. Walk around twice
and you're made for certain.
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246. Once more in
the flower garden
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247. She will never get sore
if you beg her pardon
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248. Do, re, mi, fa, so,
la, si, do
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249. Si, la, so, fa, mi, re, do
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250. Squeeze her once
when she isn't looking
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251. Get a squeeze back,
that's fancy cooking
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252. Once more for a pepper upper
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253. She will never get sore
on the way to supper
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254. Do, re, mi, fa, so,
la, si, do...
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255. Si, do
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256. Now little old Sal was a no-gal.
As anyone could see
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257. Look at her now, she's a go-gal.
Who only goes for me
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258. Squeeze her once
when she isn't looking
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259. Get a squeeze back,
that's fancy cooking
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260. Once more for a pepper upper
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261. She will never get sore
on the way to supper
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262. Do, re, mi, fa, so,
la, si, do, si, do.
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263. Shipoopi, Shipoopi, Shipoopi
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264. The girl is hard to get
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265. Shipoopi, Shipoopi, Shipoopi
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266. But you can win her yet
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267. No. No!
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268. Shipoopi, Shipoopi, Shipoopi
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269. The girl is hard to get
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270. Shipoopi, Shipoopi, Shipoopi
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271. But you can win her yet
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272. You can win her...
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273. Yet...
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274. Shipoopi!
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275. All right.
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276. I made a touchdown.
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277. Griffin, you're fired!
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278. - For what?
- We've had it with your crap.
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279. I talked to the coach and he's selling
your contract to another team.
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280. And the only one that'll take you,
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281. is the worst football team in Europe:
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282. The London Silly Nannies.
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283. So, Brian, we're even now, right?
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284. Ready to start
a new life in England.
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285. I've got my money, your wounds
have healed up nicely.
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286. What do you say we let
bygones be bygones, hmm?
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287. You shot me in both my
knees then lit me on fire.
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288. - Piss off.
- All right, all right.
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289. I tell you what, you get
one free revenge shot at me.
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290. Okay.
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291. But I'm not gonna tell you
when it's coming.
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292. Ah, this is
gonna be fun.
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293. Peter, this is crazy.
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294. Isn't there any way the Patriots
could let you back on the team?
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295. Nah, they said
the decision was final.
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296. It's all right, Lois,
I can make the best of this.
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297. I mean, a British football team
can't be that bad.
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298. Uh, excuse me. Hey, there. Hi.
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299. I'm, uh, Peter Griffin.
I'm your new player.
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300. Oh, yes, Peter,
welcome to the Silly Nannies.
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301. I'm the quarterback, Lesley.
This is our team.
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302. If you'll marry me
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303. I'll dig for you and rake for you
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304. If you'll marry me
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305. I'll scrub for you and bake for you
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306. If you'll marry me
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307. All others I'll forsake for you
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308. All this will I do
if you'll marry me
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309. All this will I do
If you'll marry me.
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310. Oh, crap.
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311. Well, I guess living in a London flat
isn't gonna be too bad, huh?
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312. Mom, there's no water in the toilet.
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313. First of all, Chris, it's called a loo.
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314. Second, there's no water in it,
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315. because everybody here
just uses Elizabeth Hurley.
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316. All right, well, where is she?
'Cause I need her now!
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317. You're watching BBC 4.
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318. Ellen, there's moisture on
the outside of my glass.
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319. It's condensation, Johnny.
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320. But what about the fog
on the windows?
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321. It's not fog, Johnny.
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322. It, too, is called condensation.
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323. Con-den-sation.
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324. sation-sation-sation
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325. Hey, Peter, how was your first
Silly Nannies practice?
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326. It sucked, Lois.
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327. Those Silly Nannies are
just a bunch of losers.
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328. Pack your bags, we're going home.
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329. What, you're just giving up?
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330. Look, Peter, I know you're upset
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331. because you blew your opportunity
with the Patriots but...
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332. This is your chance
to redeem yourself.
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333. Now I bet if you really tried,
you could turn that team around.
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334. You know what, Lois?
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335. When you were talking about
that sale at T.J. Maxx just now,
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336. I came up with an idea.
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337. I am gonna turn that team around.
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338. And we'll challenge
the Patriots to a game,
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339. and we'll kick their ass!
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340. Oh, man, what an attractive woman.
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341. - Hello?
- Hey, Brady!
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342. - You're dead!
- Listen, Leno!
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343. You keep calling here and threatening
me, I'm gonna notify the police.
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344. Leno? No, no,
this is Peter Griffin.
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345. I'm calling to challenge you
to a grudge match
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346. between the Patriots and
the London Silly Nannies.
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347. Huh. Well, Griffin.
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348. If you want to embarrass
yourself, be my guest.
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349. Good. What do you
say, England?
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350. - Two weeks from now?
- See you there.
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351. - Hello?
- Hey, Brady!
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352. What kind of suit you
want to be buried in?
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353. Oh, you kids are gonna love this.
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354. England has such a rich heritage
of great theater.
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355. Cramsat on the bingum
with the gam gum?
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356. Treaches on the upper
with the trang sang.
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357. Croppers to you,
you crang sang lover.
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358. She rogered the boogley!
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359. All right, now listen up,
you limey bum sniffers.
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360. If we're gonna beat the New England
Patriots next week,
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361. I got to toughen you up.
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362. So you're gonna get in shape
the way American athletes do:
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363. Taking steroids.
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364. I say, Jenkins, you give me
that dirty look one more time,
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365. and I've a good mind to get into my PJ's
and have a pillow fight with you.
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366. Very well,
then. En garde!
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367. - I like your gown.
- I like yours.
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368. When's the beating
gonna come, Brian?
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369. Just tell me when it's gonna come!
Just do something, anything!
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370. Look, look, I'll do it.
I'll do it first.
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371. Look, look, I'll do it even worse.
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372. Oh, oh, oh, look how hurt I am.
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373. We're even now!
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374. You're going down, Brady!
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375. You're the one who's
going down, Griffin!
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376. What the hell?
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377. Those men are tremendous
in stature.
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378. And they're coming
straight at us!
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379. We'll take my carriage!
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380. Ah, crap.
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381. Well, I'm still here,
you bastards!
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382. So let's do this!
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383. Oh. Hey, Brady. You gonna gloat
and call me a loser now?
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384. Actually, Peter, you're
not a loser at all.
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385. What you did just now
was pretty ballsy.
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386. - Really?
- Absolutely!
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387. For one guy to stand up to the entire
New England Patriots team,
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388. that's a winner in my book.
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389. Wow. Thanks, Tom Brady.
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390. Peter! Oh, my God,
are you all right?
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391. - Yeah.
- Can you move your legs?
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392. - Yeah.
- Oh, good.
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393. I thought you were gonna be a vegetable.
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394. And I got to tell you, Peter,
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395. I- I just don't think
I have it in me.
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396. I mean, if you can't move,
it's over.
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397. I love you,
too, honey.
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398. Let's go home.
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399. Fogia & nedrelef
Raceman
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