1. DAD, CAN YOU HELP
ME WITH MY MATH?
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2. MR. SHACKLEFORD SAYS
IF I DON'T LEARN IT
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3. I WON'T BE ABLE TO FUNCTION
IN THE REAL WORLD.
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4. OKAY, NOW, WHAT
YOU GOT TO DO
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5. IS GO DOWN THE ROAD
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6. PAST THE OLD
JOHNSON PLACE
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7. AND YOU'RE GOING TO FIND
TWO ROADS.
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8. ONE PARALLEL
AND ONE PERPENDICULAR.
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9. NOW, KEEP GOING
UNTIL YOU COME TO A HIGHWAY
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10. THAT BISECTS IT
AT A 45-DEGREE ANGLE.
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11. SOLVE FOR X.
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12. MATH... HUH.
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13. MATH, MY DEAR BOY
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14. IS NOTHING MORE THAN
THE LESBIAN SISTER OF BIOLOGY.
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15. HELLO, SIR.
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16. ENOUGH WITH
THE FOREPLAY.
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17. WHAT ARE YOU SELLING?
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18. WELL, I WAS GOING TO TRY
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19. TO SELL YOU
SOME HANDSOME CREAM
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20. BUT I CAN SEE
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21. YOU ALREADY BOUGHT OUT
THE STORE.
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22. GO ON.
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23. SO, PERHAPS YOU'D BE INTERESTED
IN SOMETHING
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24. EVERY HOMEOWNER
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25. VOLCANO INSURANCE.
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26. GO ON.
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27. ACCORDING TO MY UNCLE
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28. WHO'S A REAL WHIZ WITH VOLCANOES
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29. A VOLCANO IS COMING THIS WAY.
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30. HMM... I, TOO,
HAVE AN UNCLE.
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31. COME IN.
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32. HOW MUCH IS THIS
VOLCANO INSURANCE?
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33. I-I DON'T KNOW.
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34. UH, LET'S SAY $200.
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35. $200? THAT'S MORE
THAN I SPENT
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36. ON ALL THAT
HANDSOME CREAM.
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37. I DON'T HAVE THAT
KIND OF MONEY.
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38. WHAT ABOUT
THAT JAR OF MONEY?
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39. OH, WAIT
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40. THAT'S LOIS'S
RAINY-DAY FUND.
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41. AH, COME ON.
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42. IT NEVER RAINS
IN RHODE ISLAND.
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43. BUT— YEAH, BUT I'M PRETTY SURE
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44. WE'VE NEVER HAD
A VOLCANO EITHER.
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45. WELL, DON'T YOU THINK
WE'RE OVERDUE FOR ONE?
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46. TOUCHE, SALESMAN.
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47. OH!
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?
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48. WATCHING YOU SLEEP, CUTIE-PIE.
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49. WHY YOU SICK, SICK
LITTLE MOO COW.
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50. YOU SHALL WATCH
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51. NO MORE!
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52. STEWIE!
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53. MY GLASSES!
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54. I CAN'T SEE A THING
WITHOUT MY GLASSES.
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55. WHY WON'T YOU LET ME
GET LASER SURGERY?
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56. BECAUSE I JUST DON'T THINK
IT'S SAFE.
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57. OKAY, I JUST NEED TO MAKE
A QUICK INCISION HERE
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58. AND WE SHOULD BE
ALL DONE, MRS. WILSON.
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59. LUKE, USE THE FORCE.
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60. REALLY? 'CAUSE I
WAS JUST GOING TO...
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61. LUKE, USE THE FORCE.
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62. OKAY.
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63. ARE YOU HAPPY?
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64. I'VE NEVER BEEN HAPPY.
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65. OH, DON'T WORRY, HONEY
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66. WE'LL GET YOU
A NEW PAIR TOMORROW.
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67. YES, AND IN
THE MEANTIME
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68. HERE'S A LITTLE
VISION TEST.
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69. WHAT IS THIS?
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70. A POOPIE OR TOBLERONE?
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71. We now return
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72. to Girlfriends on Lifetime.
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73. Barry was over last night
and he...
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74. Don't tell me.
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75. He left the toilet seat up.
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76. Oh, I ran into Frank.
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77. It's funny; he
fought in Vietnam
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78. he's an exorcist
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79. but there is one thing
that terrifies him...
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80. Commitment.
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81. Oh, Midge, you're
my third best friend
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82. in the whole world.
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83. Third? Who are
the first two?
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84. Ben and Jerry.
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85. Television for Idiots.
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86. PETER, DID YOU
TAKE THE MONEY
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87. FROM THE FAMILY JAR?
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88. WHO ME? YES ME.
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89. COULDN'T BE. THEN WHO?
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90. YEAH, I DID IT.
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91. I BOUGHT US VOLCANO INSURANCE.
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92. VOLCANO INSURANCE.
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93. THAT'S RIDICULOUS!
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94. THAT'S THE SAME THING YOU SAID
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95. WHEN YOU TALKED ME OUT OF
GETTING THAT CLOUD INSURANCE.
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96. LOOK AT THEM UP THERE.
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97. JUST PLOTTING...
PICKING THEIR MOMENT.
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98. SO, BILL,
WE ATTACK TOMORROW.
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99. YES. TOMORROW.
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100. I MEAN IT THIS TIME.
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101. I DO, TOO.
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102. PETER, THAT WAS
OUR EMERGENCY MONEY
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103. AND YOUR DAUGHTER
JUST SO HAPPENS
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104. TO NEED A NEW
PAIR OF GLASSES.
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105. LOIS, NO ONE
REALLY NEEDS GLASSES.
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106. YOU WEAR GLASSES.
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107. THAT'S ONLY TO FOOL THE MAN
FROM THE DRAFT BOARD.
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108. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU
SQUANDERED THAT MONEY.
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109. I SWEAR, SOMETIMES I FEEL
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110. LIKE I'M MARRIED
TO A CHILD.
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111. WHAT CAN I SAY ABOUT
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112. MY BEAUTIFUL BRIDE
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113. EXCEPT MILK, MILK,
LEMONADE
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114. AROUND THE CORNER,
FUDGE IS MADE.
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115. YOU BETTER WATCH WHO YOU'RE
CALLING A CHILD, LOIS
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116. BECAUSE IF I'M A CHILD
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117. THEN YOU KNOW WHAT
THAT MAKES YOU?
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118. A PEDOPHILE. AND I'LL DAMNED
IF I'M GOING TO STAND HERE
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119. AND BE LECTURED
BY A PERVERT.
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120. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT,
CLEVELAND?
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121. LOIS THINKS
I'M BAD WITH MONEY.
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122. SHE'S GOT A POINT, PETER.
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123. YOU'RE THE WHITE VERSION
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124. OF A BLACK GUY WHO'S NOT GOOD
WITH HIS MONEY.
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125. HEY, GUYS AND DOLLS
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126. DRINKS ARE ON
DO-RE-ME!
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127. WHERE'D YOU GET THAT?
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128. THIS LOOT'S
THANKS TO MY STOCKBROKER
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129. IAN GREENSTEIN.
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130. HE MADE SOME SMART INVESTMENTS
THAT REALLY PAID OFF.
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131. THAT GUY IS TO MONEY
WHAT MISS ANN-MARGRET
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132. IS TO EE-ER-EE-ER...
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133. LET ME BUY THE DRINKS, QUAGMIRE.
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134. MY ACCOUNTANT LARRY ROSENBLATT
JUST GOT ME A HUGE TAX REFUND
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135. AND TICKETS TO
BRING IN DA NOISE, BRING IN DA FUNK.
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136. THE NOISE WAS GOOD
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137. BUT I THOUGHT
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138. A LOT OF THE FUNK.
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139. WAIT A SECOND.
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140. ROSENBLATT? GREENSTEIN?
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141. SO YOU'RE SAYING I NEED
A JEWISH GUY TO HANDLE MY MONEY.
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142. PETER, NOT EVERY
JEWISH PERSON IS GOOD WITH MONEY.
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143. WELL, YEAH, I GUESS
NOT THE RETARDED ONES
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144. BUT WHY WOULD YOU EVEN SAY THAT?
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145. FOR SHOCK VALUE?
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146. SHESH, CLEVELAND, THERE'S EDGY
AND THERE'S OFFENSIVE.
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147. GOOD DAY, SIR.
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148. MOTHER, YOU KNOW
HOW I HATE
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149. ASKING FOR MONEY,
BUT...
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150. MOTHER, PETER'S AN
EXCELLENT PROVIDER.
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151. NO, MOTHER,
I DO NOT THINK
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152. I'D BE BETTER OFF
MARRIED TO A CHIMP.
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153. I DON'T CARE HOW WELL THAT CHIMP
ACROSS THE STREET IS DOING.
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154. REALLY? WELL, YEAH, OKAY
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155. I GUESS YOU CAN TELL HIM
I SAID HI.
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156. BUT DON'T MAKE ME
SOUND DESPERATE.
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157. I GOT TO GET A GREENSTEIN
OR A ROSENBLATT
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158. OF MY VERY OWN.
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159. HI. MY NAME'S
MAX WEINSTEIN.
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160. MY CAR JUST BROKE DOWN.
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161. MAY I USE YOUR PHONE?
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162. HEY!
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163. I PRAYED FOR YOU,
MAX WEINSTEIN
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164. AND HERE YOU ARE.
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165. OKAY.
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166. LISTEN, UH, THANKS
FOR LETTING ME USE THE PHONE.
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167. THANKS FOR SPACEBALLS.
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168. YEAH, WELL, IF THERE'S ANYTHING
I CAN EVER DO FOR YOU...
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169. - YOU CAN'T LEAVE.
- AAH!
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170. WHAT DO YOU WANT?
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171. FINANCIAL ADVICE.
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172. FINANCIAL ADVICE?
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173. HOW THE HELL DID YOU KNOW
I'M AN ACCOUNTANT?
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174. HELLO? "MAX WEINSTEIN"?
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175. LOOK, I'LL DO WHAT I CAN.
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176. BUT I DON'T KNOW
WHY YOU THINK
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177. I CAN GET YOUR MONEY BACK.
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178. M-M-MAX, MAX, MAX.
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179. LET'S NOT DENY
OUR HERITAGES.
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180. YOU'RE JEWISH; YOU'RE
GOOD WITH MONEY.
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181. I'M IRISH; I DRINK
AND I BAN HOMOSEXUALS
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182. FROM MARCHING
IN MY PARADE.
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183. NOW HELP ME GET
MY MONEY BACK.
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184. OH. IT'S YOU.
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185. UM... I'M NOT IN RIGHT NOW.
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186. PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE.
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187. ( sighs ): OH, MAN
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188. I HATE THESE THINGS.
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189. UH, YEAH, HI,
THIS IS PETER GRIFFIN
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190. UH, I'M SORRY
I MISSED YOU, UH...
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191. PETER, PLAY WITH THIS.
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192. LOOK, SIR, I HAVE REVIEWED
THIS CONTRACT
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193. AND IT OFFERS
NO COVERAGE AT ALL.
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194. IT JUST SAYS
"VOLCANO INSURANCE"
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195. OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
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196. AND DOWN HERE IN
SMALL PRINT IT SAYS
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197. "HE'S SIGNING IT,
HE'S SIGNING IT
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198. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT."
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199. - SO?
- SO, JUST REFUND THIS MAN'S MONEY
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200. AND WE'LL BE ON OUR WAY.
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201. I DON'T HAVE YOUR MONEY.
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202. HOW ABOUT THAT MONEY?
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203. NO WAY.
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204. THAT'S LOIS'
RAINY DAY FUND.
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205. OH, DAMN IT.
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206. So you couldn't date her
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207. because she was a tickler.
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208. A tickler.
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209. And you're
not a stickler for a tickler.
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210. Not a stickler
for a tickler.
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211. Not a tickler stickler?
Not a tickler stickler.
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212. Tickler, stickler.
Stickler, tickler.
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213. WHERE THE HELL IS THE REMOTE?
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214. HEY, HONEY, GUESS WHAT?
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215. I GOT BACK THE MONEY
FOR MEG'S GLASSES.
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216. REALLY?
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217. OH, HONEY.
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218. OH, HELLO.
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219. THIS IS MY SPECIAL
FRIEND MAX WEINSTEIN.
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220. HE'S JEWISH.
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221. OH, MY, HOW EXOTIC.
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222. THANK YOU?
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223. SEE? HERE'S YOUR
RAINY DAY MONEY
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224. AND I BALANCED
OUR CHECKBOOK, TOO.
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225. YOU BALANCED
OUR CHECKBOOK?
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226. YEP. ISN'T THAT RIGHT, MAX?
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227. HMM? OH, YEAH, SURE.
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228. HE DID IT.
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229. WELL, I'M GOING TO GO CALL
MY MOTHER RIGHT NOW
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230. AND TELL HER TO TELL THAT CHIMP
ACROSS THE STREET.
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231. OH, LOOK HOW LOW I'VE SUNK.
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232. TAKING CREDIT FOR SOMETHING
A SMART JEWISH PERSON DID.
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233. - OH, THAT'S OKAY, PETER.
- NO, NO, NO.
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234. PEOPLE HAVE BEEN DOING THAT
FOR TOO DAMN LONG.
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235. IT IS THE WHITE DEVIL THAT
HAS PROPOGATED, EXACERBATED,
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236. INSTIGATED... INSTIGATED...
LINE.
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237. INSTIGATED OUR HATRED
LIKE A BUICK.
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238. WHAT WAS I THINKING
WHEN I AGREED TO THIS?
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239. THIS IS SO DEGRADING.
IT'S... THIS IS... WORSE
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240. THAN THE TIME I WAS
AT THE FRIAR'S CLUB
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241. AND SOON-YI'S RETAINER
FELL OUT OF MY PANTS.
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242. LOIS, I APPRECIATE
THE MARSHMALLOW AND FISH CASSEROLE
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243. BUT, I'M SORRY, I...
I CAN'T EAT THIS.
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244. OH, BECAUSE IT'S NOT KOSHER.
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245. YEAH, LET'S GO WITH THAT.
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246. CAN STEWIE AND
ME BE EXCUSED?
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247. HE'S GOING TO HELP ME
WITH MY MATH HOMEWORK.
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248. CHRIS, HE'S JUST A BABY.
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249. OH, AND YOU'RE
A REGULAR RHODES SCHOLAR?
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250. WHERE WAS IT YOU GRADUATED FROM
AGAIN? HMM?
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251. THE UNIVERSITY OF DUH?
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252. I CAN HELP YOU WITH
YOUR HOMEWORK, SON.
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253. OH, MY GOD, IS THERE NOTHING
YOU PEOPLE CAN'T DO?
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254. I MEAN, YOU KNOW,
OTHER THAN MANUAL LABOR?
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255. PETER, WHAT A RIDICULOUS
THING TO SAY.
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256. THEY BUILT THE PYRAMIDS.
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257. YOU'LL HAVE TO
EXCUSE PETER.
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258. HE CAN BE A LITTLE
TACTLESS SOMETIMES.
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259. YES, LIKE THE TIME HE SOILED
HIMSELF AT THAT DINNER PARTY?
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260. I WAS SO SORRY TO HEAR THAT
YOUR FATHER PASSED AWAY.
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261. YES, IT SPREAD
THROUGH HIS BODY SO FAST
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262. BUT HE'S AT PEACE NOW,
AND A WHOLE...
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263. UH-OH.
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264. AHH... WELL, THERE'S
ONLY ONE THING
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265. THAT WILL TOP
A GREAT DINNER LIKE THAT.
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266. OPERATION.
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267. - MAY I PLAY?
- MOM?
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268. - MOM?
- MOM?
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269. THANK YOU, BUT I CAN'T STAY.
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270. IT'S FRIDAY NIGHT.
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271. I'VE GOT TO GO TO TEMPLE.
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272. TEMPLE? AH, LIKE INDIANA JONES?
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273. WILL YOU JUST
PICK IT UP ALREADY?
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274. LOOK, THEY'D
BETTER NOT
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275. BE EXPECTING US
TO GIVE MONEY
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276. BECAUSE I ALREADY GAVE
AT CHURCH LAST SUNDAY
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277. AND I'M PRETTY SURE
IT ALL GOES TO THE SAME GOD.
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278. PETER! MAX, IT WAS NICE
OF YOU TO INVITE US ALONG.
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279. YOUR HUSBAND'S GOT
A GOOD HEART, LOIS
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280. BUT HIS VIEWS ON JUDAISM
ARE A LITTLE MISGUIDED.
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281. I'D CONSIDER IT A MITZVAH
TO EDUCATE HIM A LITTLE.
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282. NO, NO, NO. NO.
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283. I DON'T THINK SO.
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284. IT IS NOT THAT I HAVE
IDEOLOGICAL DIFFERENCES.
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285. I'M JUST NOT A HAT PERSON.
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286. HEY, LOOK. I DIDN'T KNOW
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287. THE PRINCIPAL
OF MEG'S SCHOOL WAS JEWISH.
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288. HEY, THERE'S BILLY NYE
THE SCIENCE GUY, AND HALF
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289. OF LENNY KRAVITZ.
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290. OPTIMUS PRIME?
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291. HE'S JEWISH?
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292. AW, JEEZ, MAX, I...
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293. I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS.
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294. I WENT TO CATHOLIC SCHOOL.
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295. I'M NOT SURE THIS IS ALLOWED.
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296. AW, WHAT THE HELL.
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297. OH, DEAR.
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298. SISTER MARY JOSEPH,
IT APPEARS
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299. PETER GRIFFIN HAS
ENTERED A SYNAGOGUE.
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300. LOCK 'N' LOAD, BRIDES OF CHRIST.
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301. EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT.
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302. HELLO.
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303. OH, WE'RE NOT JEWISH.
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304. BUT I HEAR YOU PEOPLE
HAVE SUCH LOVELY SERVICES.
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305. OH, MY GOD, I DIDN'T MEAN
"YOU PEOPLE."
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306. I DIDN'T MEAN,
"OH, MY GOD" EITHER.
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307. I KNOW HE'S YOUR GOD, TOO.
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308. I... SHH.
SORRY.
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309. AND ON THIS DAY, THE SABBATH
WE GATHER HERE TO...
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310. UH-OH!
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311. THAT WAS SO NICE.
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312. A GOOD SERMON
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313. AND SUCH BEAUTIFUL SONGS.
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314. YEAH, IT WAS JUST LIKE THAT
OTHER JEWISH MUSICAL WE SAW.
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315. A FIDDLER ON THE ROOF.
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316. SOUNDS CRAZY, NO?
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317. BUT HERE, IN OUR LITTLE VILLAGE
OF ANATEVKA, YOU MIGHT SAY
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318. EACH ONE OF US...
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319. CARD!
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320. CARD!
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321. WELL, THERE'S MY CAB.
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322. IT WAS NICE MEETING ALL OF YOU.
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323. AW, THANKS
FOR EVERYTHING, BUDDY.
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324. WAIT, MR. WEINSTEIN.
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325. I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING
TO HELP ME
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326. WITH MY HOMEWORK.
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327. I'M SORRY, SON.
I HAVE TO GO, BUT I'M...
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328. I'M SURE YOU'LL DO JUST FINE.
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329. I DON'T KNOW, MAX.
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330. THE KID'S NOT EXACTLY
AN HONOR-ROLL STUDENT.
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331. WATCH.
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332. HEY.
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333. HE DID IT.
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334. SEE?
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335. PETER, YOU
TOOK ME IN, FED ME DINNER
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336. CAME TO TEMPLE
WITH ME.
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337. YOU'RE A NICE FAMILY.
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338. I HAVE FAITH THAT
CHRIS WILL GROW UP
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339. TO BE A REAL MENSCH.
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340. YOU... OW! OW! DAD! DAD!
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341. LOIS, I JUST
FIGURED OUT
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342. HOW TO MAKE SURE CHRIS
BECOMES A BIG SUCCESS.
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343. PLEASE TELL ME
THIS DOESN'T HAVE
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344. ANYTHING TO DO
WITH TONY ROBBINS.
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345. OH, NO. I LEARNED
MY LESSON.
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346. COULD YOU SIGN
THIS BOOK, PLEASE?
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347. TONY ROBBINS HUNGRY.
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348. NO, LOIS, I'M GOING
TO MAKE CHRIS JEWISH.
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349. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
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350. HE THINKS IF CHRIS IS JEWISH,
HE'LL BECOME SMART.
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351. PETER, YOU CAN'T CONVERT SOMEONE
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352. BECAUSE YOU THINK
IT'LL HELP THEIR GRADES.
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353. NOW, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR
ANOTHER WORD ABOUT THIS.
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354. WHERE WE GOING?
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355. SON, IT'S TOO LATE FOR ME
AND MEG'S A GIRL
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356. BUT FOR YOU,
THE SKY'S THE LIMIT.
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357. WE'RE GOING TO TAKE
YOU TO THAT SYNAGOGUE
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358. AND TURN YOU JEWISH.
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359. OKAY!
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360. CHRIS, DUCK.
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361. MR. GRIFFIN, I STILL
DON'T UNDERSTAND.
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362. WHY EXACTLY DOES YOUR SON WANT
TO JOIN THE JEWISH FAITH?
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363. I DON'T KNOW.
HE'S BI-CURIOUS.
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364. I APPRECIATE YOUR INTEREST
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365. BUT JUDAISM TAKES
A SERIOUS COMMITMENT.
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366. ELLIOT HERE
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367. HAS SPENT YEARS PREPARING
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368. FOR HIS BAR MITZVAH
THIS SATURDAY.
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369. A BAR MITZVAH.
PERFECT.
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370. HOW MUCH FOR ONE OF THOSE?
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371. YOU CAN'T JUST BUY
A BAR MITZVAH.
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372. IT REQUIRES A LOT OF STUDY.
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373. WELL, CAN'T WE SKIP THAT PART?
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374. I MEAN, COME ON—
IF CHRIS KNEW HOW TO STUDY
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375. HE WOULDN'T NEED
TO BECOME JEWISH
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376. IN THE FIRST PLACE, RIGHT?
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377. RIGHT?
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378. RIGHT?
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379. DON'T WORRY, DAD.
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380. I DON'T NEED A BAR MITZVAH.
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381. I'M OKAY JUST THE WAY I...
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382. OW, OW, OW!
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383. NOW, WE GOT NO TIME TO LOSE.
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384. THERE'S GOT TO BE SOME PLACE
IN AMERICA
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385. WHERE YOU CAN TAKE
A SOLEMN SPIRITUAL CEREMONY
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386. THAT BEGINS
A LIFETIME COMMITMENT
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387. AND BLOW THROUGH IT
IN ABOUT 20 MINUTES.
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388. ALL RIGHT, DAD!
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389. SO HOW DO I LOOK
IN MY NEW GLASSES?
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390. HOW SHALL I PUT THIS?
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391. IN AN ATTIC SOMEWHERE, THERE'S A PORTRAIT
OF YOU GETTING PRETTIER.
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392. WOW. SOMEONE NEEDS A NAP.
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393. AFTER LUNCH, IT'S STRAIGHT
TO BED, STEWIE.
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394. ( groans ) THIS ISN'T THE FIRST TIME
MY WIT HAS GONE UNAPPRECIATED.
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395. AND IN THE COMEDY COMPETITION,
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396. STEWIE GRIFFIN RECEIVES
THREE AND A HALF STARS.
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397. CHALLENGER SINBAD
RECEIVES FOUR STARS.
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398. WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION— SINBAD!
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399. STEWIE, ANY
PARTING WORDS?
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400. UM, YOU KNOW, I GOT BEAT,
PURE AND SIMPLE.
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401. YOU, YOU ARE A VERY FUNNY MAN.
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402. MEN BE ACTING ALL LIKE ZOMBIES
AT THE MALL.
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403. GOD, AIN'T THAT THE TRUTH?
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404. WHERE'S YOUR FATHER AND CHRIS?
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405. IT'S NOT LIKE THEM
TO BE LATE FOR LUNCH.
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406. I THINK THEY LEFT A NOTE.
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407. BRIAN, WHAT DO YOU
KNOW ABOUT THIS?
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408. NOTHING.
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409. I KNOW WHEN YOU'RE
LYING TO ME, BRIAN.
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410. NO, NO, I SWEAR.
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411. MEG, TAKE STEWIE UPSTAIRS.
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412. WHAT... WHAT ARE YOU,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
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413. OH, YOU DON'T KNOW THAT, EITHER.
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414. LAST CHANCE, BRIAN.
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415. ( whining ):
THEY'RE IN VEGAS
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416. GETTING A QUICKIE BAR MITZVAH.
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417. WHAT?
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418. WELL, HEL-LOIS.
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419. FORGIVE ME
FOR POINTING.
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420. QUICK, I NEED
TO BORROW YOUR CAR.
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421. I'VE GOT A BAR MITZVAH
TO STOP.
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422. NO PROBLEM— LET
ME GRAB MY KEYS.
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423. AW, CHRIS,
IN A FEW MINUTES
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424. YOU'LL BECOME A SMART,
SUCCESSFUL JEWISH MAN.
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425. I COULD MAKE
A FORESKIN JOKE RIGHT NOW
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426. BUT THIS
IS A SOLEMN OCCASION.
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427. AND BESIDES, THERE'LL
BE PLENTY OF TIME FOR THAT
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428. ON THE RIDE BACK.
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429. AW, I GOT SO MANY
OF 'EM, TOO.
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430. I-I KNOW, I KNOW—
SHH, SHH, SHH! BUT LATER...
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431. CHRIS!
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432. CHRIS!
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433. STOP THIS TRAVESTY RIGHT NOW!
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434. SO, BAR MITZVAHS
ARE TRAVESTIES, HUH?
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435. NO, MY SON GETTING
BAR MITZVAHED IS A TRAVESTY.
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436. HE'S DOING IT FOR ALL
THE WRONG REASONS.
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437. WELL, LOOKIE
HERE, HERSCHEL.
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438. WE GOT US ONE OF THEM
SELF-HATING JEWS.
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439. NOTHING I HATE
WORSE THAN A JEW
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440. WHO DOESN'T APPRECIATE
HER OWN RICH HERITAGE.
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441. COME ON, MORDECAI,
LET'S GET HER!
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442. I'M SORRY, LOIS.
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443. I JUST WANTED OUR SON TO BE
JEWISH SO HE'D BE SMARTER.
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444. THEN MAYBE HIS WIFE
WOULDN'T BE SORRY
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445. SHE DIDN'T MARRY
THE CHIMP NEXT DOOR.
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446. OH, PETER...
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447. JUST BECAUSE STEVEN
MAKES MORE MONEY THAN YOU
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448. DOESN'T MEAN HE'S ANY SMARTER.
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449. AND I THINK
CHRIS WILL DO JUST FINE.
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450. HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?
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451. BECAUSE I HAVE FAITH
IN HIM
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452. THE WAY I HAVE FAITH
IN YOU.
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453. BESIDES, A PERSON'S RELIGION
IS NO GUARANTEE OF SUCCESS.
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454. I SEE WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.
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455. THE JEWISH ARE JUST LIKE US.
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456. NO BETTER, NO WORSE.
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457. "ZO ZION, MIT GLICK."
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458. WHAT?
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459. I THINK WHAT HE'S
TRYING TO SAY IS
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460. EVERYTHING'S
GONNA BE OKAY.
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