1. It seems today
that all you seeCopy !req
2. Is violence in movies
and sex on TVCopy !req
3. But where are those good
old-fashioned valuesCopy !req
4. On which we used to rely?Copy !req
5. Lucky there's a family guyCopy !req
6. Lucky there's a man who
positively can doCopy !req
7. All the things
that make usCopy !req
8. Laugh and cryCopy !req
9. He's...
a... fam... ily... guy!Copy !req
10. Peter, this is ridiculous.Copy !req
11. I know you're upset
about losing your jobCopy !req
12. but you've been sitting
on that couch for two weeks.Copy !req
13. I have not, Lois.Copy !req
14. He's right. It's actually been
more like, uh...Copy !req
15. Yeah, 13 days.Copy !req
16. You at least have
to do somethingCopy !req
17. other than sitting
there eating.Copy !req
18. All right, all right.Copy !req
19. Brian, let's go
for a walk.Copy !req
20. Meg, sweetheart, what's wrong?Copy !req
21. My life, that's
what's wrong!Copy !req
22. I was totally
humiliatedCopy !req
23. at school today.Copy !req
24. Okay, we're
going to doCopy !req
25. a little informal
survey here, kids.Copy !req
26. Would those of you
who are going awayCopy !req
27. for spring break please move
to the left of the room?Copy !req
28. Oigan! ¿¿Quienes que van
a "Spring Break" pasenCopy !req
29. a la izquierda, por favor?Copy !req
30. Oh, Meg, what
do those kids know?Copy !req
31. They know how to
have a good time.Copy !req
32. Well, so do we.Copy !req
33. I'll tell you what.Copy !req
34. How about you
and I haveCopy !req
35. our own little
spring break?Copy !req
36. We'll go to that
fancy new spaCopy !req
37. that just opened up
in Warwick.Copy !req
38. Massages and facials,
ah! It'll be great.Copy !req
39. What do you say?Copy !req
40. Well, I guess it couldn't
be worse than last yearCopy !req
41. when we all went
to Sea World.Copy !req
42. And how long has
this been going on?Copy !req
43. You know,
Lois is right.Copy !req
44. I've been out
of work too long.Copy !req
45. Well, I think you should
find somethingCopy !req
46. you really enjoy doing.Copy !req
47. Take those guys out there,
for example.Copy !req
48. Where?Copy !req
49. Oh, yeah, now, that's a job.Copy !req
50. Fresh sea air, working outside.Copy !req
51. That's how a real New England
man makes a living.Copy !req
52. Well, maybe
that's somethingCopy !req
53. to think
about, Peter.Copy !req
54. What's that, Daddy?Copy !req
55. Well, that's
Mercury, JakeCopy !req
56. the planet closest
to the sun.Copy !req
57. What it's doing
down here by the wharfCopy !req
58. I haven't the foggiestCopy !req
59. but we should probably
ask a scientist.Copy !req
60. I'm a guy,
you jackass!Copy !req
61. Ah, yeah, that feels good.Copy !req
62. Chris, don't forget
to mist under his chins.Copy !req
63. Oh, boy, Lois,
it's a real mess down there.Copy !req
64. I'm afraid I'm not going
to be able to do thisCopy !req
65. in the time
I quoted you earlier.Copy !req
66. Chris, shut the hose off
for a second.Copy !req
67. Everybody, I have
an announcement.Copy !req
68. I am going to drop this weight
and rejoin the workforce.Copy !req
69. I have decided to become
a professional fisherman.Copy !req
70. What? Why a fisherman?Copy !req
71. It makes perfect
sense, Lois.Copy !req
72. You know how much time
I've spent on the ocean.Copy !req
73. Wilson!Copy !req
74. What are we going to do now?Copy !req
75. Wilson!Copy !req
76. Wilson!Copy !req
77. My name is Voit,
dumb ass!Copy !req
78. Hello, Doreen?Copy !req
79. Yeah, I'm still over
at the Griffin job.Copy !req
80. Um, listen, tell Walter
I'm not going to be ableCopy !req
81. to make it
to the construction site.Copy !req
82. So, um, I don't know—Copy !req
83. have him send Frank
or Glen or Harelip Steve.Copy !req
84. I know, it creeps me out, too.Copy !req
85. So you think I can find
a boat here, huh, Joe?Copy !req
86. Oh, yeah.
You wouldn't believeCopy !req
87. what we confiscate
from these crooks.Copy !req
88. Welcome. We open today's biddingCopy !req
89. with this pair of panties
confiscated from a prostitute.Copy !req
90. 50 bucks!Copy !req
91. She had 9 S.T.D.s.Copy !req
92. 45 bucks.Copy !req
93. And when we caught her,
she wet herself.Copy !req
94. 50 bucks.Copy !req
95. Excuse me.Copy !req
96. Are you going to sell anything
that's not gross?Copy !req
97. And now our next item.Copy !req
98. Please direct your attention
to this photo of a beautifulCopy !req
99. 40-foot fishing boat.Copy !req
100. Oh, man, that's perfect.Copy !req
101. $12,000.Copy !req
102. - $13,000.
- $25,000.Copy !req
103. Sold for $25,000.Copy !req
104. Yes!Copy !req
105. Aw, crap!Copy !req
106. Thanks.Copy !req
107. And now the actual boat itself.Copy !req
108. Do I have an opening bid for...Copy !req
109. $50,000.Copy !req
110. Sold for $50,000.Copy !req
111. Good for you, Peter.Copy !req
112. Congratulations. You've just
bought yourself a cursed boat.Copy !req
113. - Cursed?
- The last captainCopy !req
114. of that vessel lost his lifeCopy !req
115. and it weren't no accident.Copy !req
116. His name was SaltyCopy !req
117. and he was devoured
by DaggermouthCopy !req
118. the man-eating bluefish.Copy !req
119. You want to buy that boat?Copy !req
120. Go ahead, take itCopy !req
121. but don't expect me to fish
your dead body from an angry seaCopy !req
122. that gave you fair warning.Copy !req
123. Are you up
for bids, too?Copy !req
124. You are just precious.Copy !req
125. Are you going
to miss me?Copy !req
126. Only until I go
to the newsstandCopy !req
127. and buy a Hustler.Copy !req
128. All right, I left you
the number for the spa.Copy !req
129. See you in a few days.Copy !req
130. Not if I strangle myselfCopy !req
131. with a seaweed wrap
and die.Copy !req
132. You are dark!Copy !req
133. Uh, Peter, you still haven't
told me how you expectCopy !req
134. to pay for that boat.Copy !req
135. Don't worry, Brian.Copy !req
136. There's got to be
a hundred banksCopy !req
137. that'll give me a loan.Copy !req
138. Oh, wow, so you can
really give me loan?Copy !req
139. I sure can.Copy !req
140. You see, Mr. Griffin,
what sets us apart from other banksCopy !req
141. is that other banks
are banks.Copy !req
142. Now, I trust you
have collateral.Copy !req
143. Um... I got three kids.Copy !req
144. I'll take 'em.
Just kidding.Copy !req
145. Or maybe I'm not.
Sign this.Copy !req
146. Here you go.
Good luck.Copy !req
147. So, what do you want
on your thigh?Copy !req
148. I want a skull.Copy !req
149. Okay, well, I can draw
Kermit the Frog.Copy !req
150. How about a nice
Kermit the Frog?Copy !req
151. No, I want a skull.Copy !req
152. Okay, well, I'm
going to go aheadCopy !req
153. and do Kermit the Frog.Copy !req
154. Mom, this
is so lame.Copy !req
155. Come on, Meg,
try to have fun.Copy !req
156. I promise after
a few days hereCopy !req
157. you won't even remember
the word spring break.Copy !req
158. How about some TV?Copy !req
159. This is MTV and we're rocking
at spring break.Copy !req
160. Hey, this is VH1 and we're
rocking at spring break.Copy !req
161. leaving thousands injured.
For CNN, I'm Bernard Shaw.Copy !req
162. Keeping it real and kicking ass
at spring break!Copy !req
163. Woo!Copy !req
164. There she is, boysCopy !req
165. the S.S. More Powerful than
Superman, Batman, SpidermanCopy !req
166. And The Incredible Hulk
Put Together.Copy !req
167. Yes, she's a fine vessel.Copy !req
168. Welcome to the wharf.Copy !req
169. The name's Hennessey.Copy !req
170. Hi, there. Peter Griffin.Copy !req
171. My friends call me
Peter for short.Copy !req
172. I'll let you in
on a little secret, neighbor.Copy !req
173. The best fishing is
at latitude 42, longitude 71.Copy !req
174. Keep that to yourself.Copy !req
175. Oh, wow, thanks.Copy !req
176. Hey, I'll see you, fellas.Copy !req
177. I got some fish to catch.Copy !req
178. Ah, let's see...
"latitude 42, longitude 71."Copy !req
179. This is it. What the hell?Copy !req
180. Papa, he killed Mordecai,
the dancing Yiddish clown.Copy !req
181. Stop crying.Copy !req
182. You just became a man,
now act like one.Copy !req
183. Hey, Hennessey,
what's the big ideaCopy !req
184. sending me
to that bar mitzvah?Copy !req
185. 'Cause I don't like you
and I don't like your face.Copy !req
186. We don't need
any more fishermenCopy !req
187. crowding up this wharf.Copy !req
188. Oh, well, fine, Hennessey.Copy !req
189. You want an enemy,
you've got one.Copy !req
190. Fine!Copy !req
191. There we are.Copy !req
192. So, Steve, you ever think
of growing a mustache?Copy !req
193. Nice fish you got there, Griffin.Copy !req
194. What are you selling?Copy !req
195. Your bait?Copy !req
196. Um, nice face, Hennessey.Copy !req
197. Yes! Me one, you zero.Copy !req
198. Hey!Copy !req
199. Wow. So, how
do you do it?Copy !req
200. Oh, you're very nice to ask.Copy !req
201. Well, first I hang
the old worm out there.Copy !req
202. They usually go for it.Copy !req
203. So, I jerk them
around a littleCopy !req
204. they fight for a whileCopy !req
205. and then they just lay back
and accept it.Copy !req
206. How about we get
together later?Copy !req
207. Um, okay.Copy !req
208. What the hell?Copy !req
209. Oh, damn it.Copy !req
210. Hey, what's going on here?Copy !req
211. Peter, did you read
the fine printCopy !req
212. on this
loan contract?Copy !req
213. Um, if by readCopy !req
214. you mean "imagined
a naked lady," then, yes.Copy !req
215. Peter, listen.Copy !req
216. The bank's taking
all our stuff.Copy !req
217. And according to thisCopy !req
218. if you don't pay
them within 48 hoursCopy !req
219. they get the house, too.Copy !req
220. Oh, boy! I get to go live
at the bank!Copy !req
221. Meg, did I
ever tell youCopy !req
222. that if you're
on birth controlCopy !req
223. and you take
an antibioticCopy !req
224. it makes it not work?Copy !req
225. Because no
one told me.Copy !req
226. I thought you
should know.Copy !req
227. Look, Mom, I don't
really feel likeCopy !req
228. talking right now, okay?Copy !req
229. Fine. I just
don't understandCopy !req
230. why we had to leave
the spa so early.Copy !req
231. Look, I just want to go homeCopy !req
232. and spend the next three days
in solitary confinementCopy !req
233. where I belong.Copy !req
234. Well, I tried.Copy !req
235. Mom, what the hellCopy !req
236. are we doing here?Copy !req
237. This is where you wanted to be,
right, honey?Copy !req
238. Yeah, but not with you.Copy !req
239. Hey, did you hear
what happenedCopy !req
240. to that dude
from U. Mass?Copy !req
241. He got so drunk he fell
off his hotel balcony.Copy !req
242. He's in a coma.Copy !req
243. Oh, man, I want
to party with him.Copy !req
244. You know it!
Yeah!Copy !req
245. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Woo! Woo! Woo!Copy !req
246. Hey, look,
Meg made it, you guys.Copy !req
247. Yeah, and she brought
her mommy.Copy !req
248. Oh, my God.Copy !req
249. Come on, Meg, get
out of the car.Copy !req
250. Like the kids sayCopy !req
251. "Up your nose
with a rubber hose."Copy !req
252. Ha, ha, ha. Whoo!Copy !req
253. Hey, look, everybodyCopy !req
254. it's Spuds McKenzie.Copy !req
255. Well, that's the last
of the furniture.Copy !req
256. No TV. I miss
my friends.Copy !req
257. John Ritter and
Florence HendersonCopy !req
258. and Alfonso Ribeiro.Copy !req
259. Is he the guy
from Silver Spoons?Copy !req
260. Um, uh... no, he was on
French Prince of Bel Air.Copy !req
261. Fresh Prince.Copy !req
262. Fresh Prince of Bel AirCopy !req
263. but, you know, I don't
know if was also on—Copy !req
264. Hey, Alfonso.
Yeah?Copy !req
265. - Were you on Silver Spoons?
- Yes, I was.Copy !req
266. Oh, there you go.Copy !req
267. Come on,
just a little higher, honey.Copy !req
268. Mom, I don't think I can...Copy !req
269. Hey, who's holding Lois?Copy !req
270. I don't know.Copy !req
271. Some dude named Mel.Copy !req
272. This is Carson DalyCopy !req
273. and we're live here
at Spring Break.Copy !req
274. Who wants to party?Copy !req
275. Okay, one, two, three,
four, five.Copy !req
276. Okay, we're going to need
cake and juice for 14 people.Copy !req
277. All right,
now let's go to Tom GreenCopy !req
278. who's going to do something
really outrageous.Copy !req
279. Does anyone out there
like me yet?Copy !req
280. Can I stop this?Copy !req
281. Hey, what the hell
are you doing in my house?Copy !req
282. Your house?Copy !req
283. This is my house.Copy !req
284. My wife and I bought
it from the bank.Copy !req
285. But I still got another day
to pay back the loan.Copy !req
286. The bank said it
wouldn't matterCopy !req
287. because you're a fat,
deadbeat loser.Copy !req
288. Fat, deadbeat loser?Copy !req
289. Well, sir, while I may not
agree with what you sayCopy !req
290. I'll defend to the death
your right to say it.Copy !req
291. There we are— its
a Van Gogh print.Copy !req
292. Isn't it beautiful?Copy !req
293. Oh, yes, I've
often fantasizedCopy !req
294. about what this
house would be likeCopy !req
295. with more culture.Copy !req
296. The port is quite good.
Yes, quite good.Copy !req
297. Most certainly.
Indeed.Copy !req
298. What year is it?
'51.Copy !req
299. Ah.
Delectable.Copy !req
300. Indeed.
Yes.Copy !req
301. Oh, dear.
What is it?Copy !req
302. - I've spontaneously combusted.
- Oh, it's quite all right.Copy !req
303. It's quite all right.
I've grown tired of living.Copy !req
304. Very good, then.
Indeed. For the best.Copy !req
305. Is it raining again?Copy !req
306. Hey, did you hear
the one about us?Copy !req
307. Wow, you're such
a good dancer.Copy !req
308. Way to go
on that beer bong.Copy !req
309. Yeah, no fake.
No fake.Copy !req
310. Mom!Copy !req
311. Hey, what are you
doing here?Copy !req
312. What am I doing here?Copy !req
313. I've been waiting
out here for hours.Copy !req
314. What?Copy !req
315. You were supposed to
pop inside real quickCopy !req
316. and find someone who
looked enough like meCopy !req
317. so I could
use their ID.Copy !req
318. And then you were
supposed to come outCopy !req
319. and give the I.D. so
I could get inside.Copy !req
320. What?Copy !req
321. God, it's like talking
to a three year old.Copy !req
322. Oh, you know what?Copy !req
323. You need to learn how
to loosen up a little, toots.Copy !req
324. Yeah, I get the feeling you're
loose enough for the both of us.Copy !req
325. What?
Nothing.Copy !req
326. That's right, nothing.Copy !req
327. Don't you sass me.Copy !req
328. Good evening.
Stevenson residence.Copy !req
329. Chris, honey,
we've been over thisCopy !req
330. a thousand times.Copy !req
331. It's pronounced
Griffin.Copy !req
332. Hi, Mom.Copy !req
333. Hi, Chris.Copy !req
334. Put your father on.Copy !req
335. Hey, Dad.Copy !req
336. And the French
guy saysCopy !req
337. "Deodorant?
What's that?"Copy !req
338. All right, all right.Copy !req
339. I've-I've got one.Copy !req
340. I've got one.Copy !req
341. Um, okay, two men are standing
at the pearly gates...Copy !req
342. Oh, God, wait,
how did that one go?Copy !req
343. Well, anyway, it turns out
they're Siegfried and Roy.Copy !req
344. I'm no good at telling jokes.Copy !req
345. Dad, it's Mom.Copy !req
346. Oh, God, please be Somerset Maugham.
Please be Somerset Maugham.Copy !req
347. Hello?Copy !req
348. Peter?
Damn.Copy !req
349. I was just calling to
check in with my boys.Copy !req
350. See how you
guys are doing.Copy !req
351. Oh, uh, we're fine.Copy !req
352. What's all
that noise?Copy !req
353. Uh, nothing. Nothing.Copy !req
354. Peter I need you
to take out the trash.Copy !req
355. Okay, Lois.Copy !req
356. Lois, I got to go.Copy !req
357. Holy crap, Brian,
what am I going to do?Copy !req
358. Lois is going to be home
in a couple of daysCopy !req
359. and we're getting kicked out
of the house tomorrow.Copy !req
360. What do you suggest?Copy !req
361. Get out your ring.Copy !req
362. Peter, that's
not going to..Copy !req
363. Come on!Copy !req
364. Wondertwin powers, activate!Copy !req
365. Form of... steam!Copy !req
366. Peter, we got these in
a box of Frankenberry.Copy !req
367. A jackal! Jackal!
It's a jackal!Copy !req
368. It looks like a jackal!
Jackal! Jackal!Copy !req
369. It's a Jackal! Jackal!Copy !req
370. Time!Copy !req
371. It wasn't right the first time
you said itCopy !req
372. why the hell would it be right
the next ten times?Copy !req
373. God!Copy !req
374. Oh, man,
I am screwed.Copy !req
375. I'm going to
lose my houseCopy !req
376. and my boat
and everything.Copy !req
377. How am I going to come up
with 50 grand by tomorrow?Copy !req
378. You could whore yourself out
to a thousand fat chicksCopy !req
379. for 50 bucks apiece.Copy !req
380. Or 50 really fat chicks
for a thousand bucks.Copy !req
381. What? Don't look at me
like that.Copy !req
382. Fat chicks need love, too...Copy !req
383. but they got to pay.Copy !req
384. Ah, what is this?Copy !req
385. Sea water. Courtesy
of that gentleman over there.Copy !req
386. You need 50 grand, Griffin?Copy !req
387. Well, I got a suggestion
for you.Copy !req
388. Why don't you kill Daggermouth?Copy !req
389. Maybe I will,
Hennessey.Copy !req
390. You'd be buying yourself
a one-way ticketCopy !req
391. to a watery grave.Copy !req
392. Daggermouth is the meanest,
most ruthless creatureCopy !req
393. that's ever inhabited the sea.Copy !req
394. Legend has it he dwells
out by Fish Stench Cove.Copy !req
395. He'll kill any man
that comes near there.Copy !req
396. I saw him once.Copy !req
397. Sure, I'm blind in one eyeCopy !req
398. and my other eye was infected
that day from picking at itCopy !req
399. and I was tiredCopy !req
400. and I'd been swimming in a pool
with too much chlorineCopy !req
401. and that was the hour my glasses
were at LenscraftersCopy !req
402. but I seen that fish!Copy !req
403. Well, if there's
50 grand in itCopy !req
404. I don't think
I got a choice.Copy !req
405. Well, you could
whore yourself outCopy !req
406. to a thousand fat
chicks for 50 bucks.Copy !req
407. No, we covered that.Copy !req
408. You ain't got
a chance, Griffin.Copy !req
409. Daggermouth killed
my friend SaltyCopy !req
410. and he was twice
the fisherman you are.Copy !req
411. And half the weight.Copy !req
412. Hey, no. No. Hot.Copy !req
413. He's right, Peter.Copy !req
414. It'd be suicide
to go after that fish.Copy !req
415. There's got to be
another way.Copy !req
416. We could have
a bake sale.Copy !req
417. Oh, now see,
I think that's a neat idea.Copy !req
418. No, I am not going to let
my family live on the street.Copy !req
419. Not even if it meansCopy !req
420. ending up like Seamus here.Copy !req
421. Now, if you'll excuse meCopy !req
422. I have a date with destiny.Copy !req
423. So, were you, like,
in an accident or what?Copy !req
424. No. Me father
was a tree.Copy !req
425. What's wrong with me?Copy !req
426. I got to be crazy to think
I can kill that man-eating fish.Copy !req
427. I mean, what the hell
am I doing?Copy !req
428. Hey, hey, hey.Copy !req
429. Come on, Peter.Copy !req
430. What kind of
talk is that?Copy !req
431. Yeah, you can do it.Copy !req
432. Who's my big,
brave boy, huh?Copy !req
433. Me.Copy !req
434. Who's my big,
brave boy?Copy !req
435. Me.Copy !req
436. - This sucks, Mom.
- Meg, stop moping.Copy !req
437. These are the best
years of your life.Copy !req
438. Now, let's get up there
and live a little, huh?Copy !req
439. Mom! I look
like an idiot.Copy !req
440. No, you don't.Copy !req
441. Come on. Just move your
hips a little, like this.Copy !req
442. Lois, Lois, Lois, Lois...Copy !req
443. Meg, Meg, Meg, Meg...Copy !req
444. - ( all chanting : Meg, Meg, Meg, Meg,
- Meg, Meg, Meg, Meg...Copy !req
445. Attagirl. Shake your moneymaker!Copy !req
446. Oh, my God!
It's a chick!Copy !req
447. Ay, Dios mio!Copy !req
448. Una chica!Copy !req
449. All right, everybody.
This party's over.Copy !req
450. Hey, why do you copsCopy !req
451. always have to kill our buzz?Copy !req
452. He used a teenage
colloquialism.Copy !req
453. Get the tear gas.Copy !req
454. Not so fast, big guy.Copy !req
455. What are you guys
doing here?Copy !req
456. We're going to help you
kill the fish.Copy !req
457. But this is going
to be dangerous.Copy !req
458. We could all die.Copy !req
459. Oh, come on.
You're our best friend, Peter.Copy !req
460. Besides,
I can remember a timeCopy !req
461. when you saved
all our butts.Copy !req
462. Uh-uh! Uh-uh!Copy !req
463. Hyah!Copy !req
464. Yeah, too bad
I didn't get there till after the sodomy.Copy !req
465. All right, let's go kick
some fish ass, eh?Copy !req
466. I can't believe I
just showed everyone my tater tots.Copy !req
467. Worst of all, now
I'm going to have a police record!Copy !req
468. Now, Meg, if you're going
to grab ahold of lifeCopy !req
469. you've got to expect
to get your hands dirtyCopy !req
470. once in a while.Copy !req
471. It was kind of cool
that people noticed me.Copy !req
472. That's the spirit,
honey.Copy !req
473. Okay. One, two, three,
tuck and roll!Copy !req
474. Ah. We're right
on course, guys.Copy !req
475. Give me another beer.Copy !req
476. Ah. You know,
these are the precious moments—Copy !req
477. the four of us
out at seaCopy !req
478. miles away
from civilization tossing back brews.Copy !req
479. Amen.
Got that right.Copy !req
480. Hey, hey, you guys.
Here's one for you.Copy !req
481. Let's say none of us
were married.Copy !req
482. If you could have
any woman in the worldCopy !req
483. who would it be?Copy !req
484. Mariel Hemingway.Copy !req
485. - Ah, come on! That's not
- a very good choice.Copy !req
486. She's so jagged.Copy !req
487. No, no. I think
she's very attractiveCopy !req
488. in a classical
kind of way.Copy !req
489. Yeah, but you could cut
a roast on her face.Copy !req
490. I would go
with Margaret Thatcher.Copy !req
491. Margaret Thatcher?
Margaret Thatcher?Copy !req
492. Why the hell
Margaret Thatcher?Copy !req
493. Oh, so nobody here thinks
power is sexy?Copy !req
494. Not one of you finds power sexy?Copy !req
495. How about you, Peter?Copy !req
496. Like you gotta ask.Copy !req
497. The chick with
the three knockersCopy !req
498. from Total Recall.Copy !req
499. - Interesting. I never saw
- that movie.Copy !req
500. Hey, you know, one of them
was papier maché, right?Copy !req
501. Oh, gee! Can
I change my ans...Copy !req
502. of course I know
it's paper... I don't care!Copy !req
503. What's wrong with you.Copy !req
504. So what about you, Quagmire?Copy !req
505. Taylor Hanson.Copy !req
506. Taylor Hanson's a guy.Copy !req
507. Oh, you guys
are yanking me!Copy !req
508. Ha! Hey, let's put one
over on old Quagmire!Copy !req
509. No, he's actually
a guy, Quagmire.Copy !req
510. Wha...?Copy !req
511. Well, this is insane!Copy !req
512. That's impossible!Copy !req
513. Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!Copy !req
514. Oh, my God!Copy !req
515. I can... oh, God, I...Copy !req
516. Oh, I got all
these magazines...Copy !req
517. Oh, Go.. oh, God!Copy !req
518. Oh, God!Copy !req
519. This must be
Fish Stench Cove.Copy !req
520. Right now, all we got
to do is find the fish.Copy !req
521. I wonder where that fish did go.Copy !req
522. A fish, a fish, a fishy, oh.Copy !req
523. I heard that when
Daggermouth eats youCopy !req
524. he devours your guts first.Copy !req
525. I heard he doesn't
just eat youCopy !req
526. he eats your soul.Copy !req
527. I heard that one of
Shannon Doherty's eyesCopy !req
528. is off-center 'cause
it's trying to escape.Copy !req
529. Welcome, gentlemen.Copy !req
530. It's him! Quick, shoot him!Copy !req
531. Not so fast.Copy !req
532. Perhaps I could offer
you a glass of portCopy !req
533. and you a glass
of starboard.Copy !req
534. That's a little nautical joke.Copy !req
535. I'm a fish, you see.Copy !req
536. I'm also delightfully mad.Copy !req
537. Oh, dear. Would you
mind holding still for a moment?Copy !req
538. These antique pistols take
about ten minutes to reload.Copy !req
539. Peter, catch!Copy !req
540. Ow! Don't throw stuff
at me, Joe.Copy !req
541. Peter, shoot him!Copy !req
542. Oh, yeah. Right.Copy !req
543. My God.Copy !req
544. Isn't it amazing that
that's what we all look likeCopy !req
545. on the inside?Copy !req
546. It's a robot,
you idiot.Copy !req
547. - Who are you?
- I'm Salty.Copy !req
548. Salty?
But everybody saidCopy !req
549. you were killed
by that fish.Copy !req
550. That's what I wanted
them to think.Copy !req
551. I disappeared
and spreadCopy !req
552. the Daggermouth
rumor myself.Copy !req
553. Why?Copy !req
554. Merchandise.Copy !req
555. Daggermouth T-shirts,
mugs, postersCopy !req
556. and I'm in talks
with Nickelodeon for a cartoon show.Copy !req
557. Figured I'd pair him
with an effeminate cat.Copy !req
558. What do you think?Copy !req
559. - Yeah, I'd watch that.
- Sure, sure.Copy !req
560. - Yeah, me, too. Sounds like
- a good balance.Copy !req
561. And now I'm going
to give you $50,000 to be on your way.Copy !req
562. $50,000? But why?Copy !req
563. To keep your mouth shutCopy !req
564. and because the longer
we stay hereCopy !req
565. the more people are
going to questionCopy !req
566. how a fisherman with no
engineering backgroundCopy !req
567. managed to build
a sophisticated talking fish robot.Copy !req
568. You know, honey, I'm really
sorry for how I acted...Copy !req
569. getting so drunkCopy !req
570. and ditching you at the barCopy !req
571. and letting those boys
take pictures of youCopy !req
572. while you were sleeping.Copy !req
573. I was so busy having funCopy !req
574. I guess I kind of
ruined it for you.Copy !req
575. Uh-oh. We got company.Copy !req
576. Looks like your fans
are back, Mom.Copy !req
577. Meg, Meg, Meg, Meg...Copy !req
578. No, I think this
one's all yours.Copy !req
579. Whoo!
You go, girl.Copy !req
580. See? One's an innie and one's an outie.Copy !req
581. And now, back to DaggermouthCopy !req
582. and Boom Boom on Nickelodeon.Copy !req
583. Boom Boom, did you do
your exercises today?Copy !req
584. Yes. I did 20 lapsCopy !req
585. and I'm about
to do 20 more.Copy !req
586. Oh, you...!Copy !req
587. Yikes!Copy !req
588. Oh, Peter, I'm so glad
being a fishermanCopy !req
589. is working out for you.Copy !req
590. You know, I got to admitCopy !req
591. I half expected
to come homeCopy !req
592. and all our stuff
would be goneCopy !req
593. and we'd owe somebody
a whole lot of money.Copy !req
594. How can you half
expect something?Copy !req
595. I-I don't know.Copy !req
596. It's just a turn of phrase.Copy !req
597. How do you turn
a phrase?Copy !req
598. God, you're dumb.Copy !req
599. Thank God for that ass.Copy !req
600. Now, come here
and kiss me.Copy !req
601. Good night, honey.Copy !req
602. Good night, Lois.Copy !req
603. Good night Jim
and Abbie.Copy !req
604. Good night.
Good night.Copy !req
605. Not now, Abbie.Copy !req