1. Ah, the beach.Copy !req
2. So much to do.Copy !req
3. Unlimited possibilities.Copy !req
4. There is nothing to do
at the beach.Copy !req
5. Why did we come here?Copy !req
6. Peter, just set up our blanket.Copy !req
7. I got to put on my swimsuitCopy !req
8. that's a one-piece
that turns into shorts.Copy !req
9. Once you hit a certain age,Copy !req
10. that's the swimsuit you have
for the next 40 years.Copy !req
11. Hey, Lois, you remember
that time you and me made itCopy !req
12. under the boardwalk?Copy !req
13. When I go back to school,Copy !req
14. my greaser friends
are gonna say,Copy !req
15. "Tell me more, tell me more,"Copy !req
16. and I'm gonna say
you were a slut.Copy !req
17. - That was the first timeCopy !req
18. I noticed
you didn't have an ear.Copy !req
19. What?
- Never mind.Copy !req
20. Maybe we go back
under that boardwalk, hmm?Copy !req
21. What, right now?Copy !req
22. Yeah, why not?Copy !req
23. Let's sneak away from the kids
and go get busy.Copy !req
24. Oh, I'd love to, Peter,Copy !req
25. but here comes Chris with
a too-much-sun beach tantrum.Copy !req
26. Mom, I tried
to look at a... ladyCopy !req
27. who was lying
with her... straps downCopy !req
28. and she saw me and
she said something to her friendCopy !req
29. and they laughed!Copy !req
30. What lady? Where?Copy !req
31. Oh. Stand back, son.Copy !req
32. Watch how it's done.Copy !req
33. Those ladies are really mean.Copy !req
34. Come on, Brian. I'm gonna make
you a YouTube surfin' dog.Copy !req
35. You know, one of those videos
where you can't tellCopy !req
36. if he's enjoying it or not.Copy !req
37. - I love it.
- I hate it.Copy !req
38. Previously on Big Brother,Copy !req
39. Tanner became Head of Household,Copy !req
40. while host Julie Chen
had plastic surgeryCopy !req
41. to look less Chinese.Copy !req
42. Later, Sasha won veto power
over EricCopy !req
43. but not before Julie marriedCopy !req
44. CBS Chairman Les Moonves
to get her job.Copy !req
45. And Les himself was accusedCopy !req
46. of assaulting
more than a dozen women.Copy !req
47. With nominations loomingCopy !req
48. and Les fired
for his predatory behavior,Copy !req
49. the Boys Alliance
of Jeremy and Pablo strategizedCopy !req
50. while Julie stepped down
from The TalkCopy !req
51. to avoid uncomfortable
questions,Copy !req
52. but continues to host this show
and spend Les' enormous wealth.Copy !req
53. Who will be evicted tonight?Copy !req
54. Will Julie's
craven opportunism ever end?Copy !req
55. And what does it actually meanCopy !req
56. to have an employee "on call"
for oral?Copy !req
57. This would be better
with a snack.Copy !req
58. Seems like a safe place to open
a full bag of Cheez Doodles.Copy !req
59. Hey. Sup?Copy !req
60. Hey.Copy !req
61. Okay, I'll give you one,
but don't tell your friends.Copy !req
62. Oh, yeah, yeah. No.Copy !req
63. Hey.Copy !req
64. Okay, Lois, the kids are gone.Copy !req
65. Let's sneak under the boardwalk
and have sandy relations.Copy !req
66. I don't know, Peter.Copy !req
67. Come on. I am so ready.Copy !req
68. I snarfed a bunch of oysters
from over there,Copy !req
69. where the foam is super yellow.Copy !req
70. Can you do it
in less than two minutes?Copy !req
71. When have I not?Copy !req
72. Okay. Quick,
before the kids come—Copy !req
73. Ah! Here they are.Copy !req
74. Locals have renamed me
Sandy Crevices,Copy !req
75. and they're absolutely right.Copy !req
76. Please have all my mail
forwarded accordingly.Copy !req
77. And we were so close
to sneaking away.Copy !req
78. I'm sorry, Peter.Copy !req
79. Well, I guess I'll go throw
this candy wrapperCopy !req
80. in the beach trash.Copy !req
81. See you in 45 minutes.Copy !req
82. —Ah, damn it!Copy !req
83. So, what should we do now that
we're finally down here?Copy !req
84. How 'bout we do something
that ain't been doneCopy !req
85. under a pier in 50 years:Copy !req
86. have heterosexual sex.Copy !req
87. So, a strange man is changing
Stewie on our blanket.Copy !req
88. Hey, mind your business, Brian!Copy !req
89. We now return
to Wreck-It Ralph 3:Copy !req
90. Ralph Wrecks the Toilet.Copy !req
91. Hey, Lois, I know we ain't under
the boardwalk no more, but...Copy !req
92. you and me got
unfinished business.Copy !req
93. - Wha?
- Come here, you.Copy !req
94. What the hell?
Wh-What is that?Copy !req
95. It... sounds like a happy family
dishwashing scene?Copy !req
96. Aw, crap, it's a happy family
dishwashing scene.Copy !req
97. Yay! We make a good team,
clearly!Copy !req
98. We work to upbeat music.Copy !req
99. That means we're compatible.Copy !req
100. They even let the dog pitch in!Copy !req
101. How likable!Copy !req
102. And the baby thinks
he's helping!Copy !req
103. He was probably
filmed separately, though.Copy !req
104. Notice he's just an insert shot.Copy !req
105. - Turn that music off.Copy !req
106. And get the kitchen out
of the living room.Copy !req
107. Damn it! What do we got to do
to get some time to ourselves?Copy !req
108. Amen. Honestly...Copy !req
109. You guys are more frustratingCopy !req
110. than trying to sell men's suits
in Australia.Copy !req
111. Wh... Wh-What's happening?Copy !req
112. Oh, my God, the iPad!Copy !req
113. Thank God.Copy !req
114. So, what do you think?Copy !req
115. Uh, they're a little long
in the leg.Copy !req
116. Can you make 'em shorts,
cut off the sleeves,Copy !req
117. and make the shirt say
"Billabong"?Copy !req
118. - Uh, sure.
- Thanks, mate.Copy !req
119. I really want people
to see my snow-white back hairCopy !req
120. against my brown skin.Copy !req
121. Wh-What are we doing here?Copy !req
122. Yeah, I-I don't know.Copy !req
123. This is weird.Copy !req
124. Would you like a belt?Copy !req
125. Eh, I'll take two.Copy !req
126. One for each wrist.Copy !req
127. No, this is not good.Copy !req
128. I think we somehow sent
ourselves into a cutaway.Copy !req
129. So, what's the special occasion?Copy !req
130. I'm marrying my catamaran.Copy !req
131. I don't understand
how we got here.Copy !req
132. All I know is
that we both set upCopy !req
133. this cutaway at the same time,Copy !req
134. and now we're inside
this cutaway in Australia.Copy !req
135. That'll be
23 Australian dollars,Copy !req
136. - not regular dollars.
- See?Copy !req
137. So, you and I set up a cutaway
at the same timeCopy !req
138. and that somehow
put us in the cutaway?Copy !req
139. Well, this is weirder
than an uptight guyCopy !req
140. at an Eagles concert.Copy !req
141. Who out there wants to...
"Take It Easy"?Copy !req
142. Not me.
Do you read the papers?Copy !req
143. Look around you.Copy !req
144. All right.
Well, you want to...Copy !req
145. "Take It to the Limit"?Copy !req
146. Not really.Copy !req
147. That would be
a little foolhardy, wouldn't it?Copy !req
148. Okay. This time,Copy !req
149. I set up the cutaway by myself,
and it sent us here.Copy !req
150. Weird. It's like
this is a whole CutawayLand.Copy !req
151. And it takes a setup
from both of usCopy !req
152. to get us in or out
of CutawayLandCopy !req
153. but only one of us
to move within CutawayLand.Copy !req
154. Lois, are you saying that it
takes a setup from both of usCopy !req
155. to get in or out of CutawayLandCopy !req
156. but only one of us
to move within CutawayLand?Copy !req
157. Exactly, Peter.
It takes a setup from both of usCopy !req
158. to get in or out of CutawayLandCopy !req
159. but only one of us
to move within CutawayLand.Copy !req
160. I want to be done
with this part.Copy !req
161. Who likes
"Life in the Fast Lane"?Copy !req
162. Not anyone who wants
to get there in one piece.Copy !req
163. Peter, this may sound crazy,Copy !req
164. but this is our chance
at the getawayCopy !req
165. we didn't have at the beach.Copy !req
166. Hey, you're right.Copy !req
167. No kids— just you and me.Copy !req
168. And we can go anywhere.Copy !req
169. Like... like when we
hid in Tom Brady's lockerCopy !req
170. and watched him shower.Copy !req
171. Look at that.Copy !req
172. It's just as big
as you want it to beCopy !req
173. but not so big
that it's gonna distract him.Copy !req
174. There's a Trump hat in here.Copy !req
175. Don't look at the Trump hat.
Look at his penis.Copy !req
176. All right, fine.
You ruined this.Copy !req
177. This is more frustrating
than Charlton Heston's funeral.Copy !req
178. Um, 'scuse me,Copy !req
179. is-is this his cold, dead hand?Copy !req
180. Uh... yes.Copy !req
181. He, uh...
he said I could take this.Copy !req
182. Oh, oh, I want to do one.Copy !req
183. This is better than a spin classCopy !req
184. where the instructor
is just two giant Swedish legs.Copy !req
185. 80% of success
is just showing up!Copy !req
186. The other 20% is super loud,
five-year-old Coldplay songs!Copy !req
187. Yeah!Copy !req
188. Who's ready to puke
at 5:00 a. m.?Copy !req
189. Ah, this is great!Copy !req
190. Peter, where are you?Copy !req
191. I'm a spin class bicycle seat.Copy !req
192. Oh, no! The one middle-aged,
post-gastric bypass guy!Copy !req
193. He didn't clean
these shorts from last class!Copy !req
194. It was the strangest thing, Joe.Copy !req
195. Peter and Lois were right here
talking to us,Copy !req
196. and they just disappeared.Copy !req
197. All right,
just keep giving me detailsCopy !req
198. and I'll be taking notes
and definitely not drawingCopy !req
199. cool TIE fighters
on this notepad.Copy !req
200. Okay, well, it was 5:30Copy !req
201. - and we'd all just gotten back
from the beach.Copy !req
202. - We were all having fun
washing dishes.Copy !req
203. - Stay on target.
- Then, out of nowhere,
Peter and LoisCopy !req
204. - get all angry with us
and start yelling at us.
- There's too many of 'em!Copy !req
205. - It's a trap! But, wait,
- And the next thing you know,
they're surroundedCopy !req
206. - by this glowing light.
- look at that perfectly drawnCopy !req
207. - Millennium Falcon.
- And then they just
disappeared.Copy !req
208. "Roar!" said Chewbacca.Copy !req
209. Chris, now that Mom and Dad
are gone,Copy !req
210. we should have a rager.Copy !req
211. Oh, I get those
mostly in the morning.Copy !req
212. You and me both, buddy.Copy !req
213. Again, an insert shot.Copy !req
214. We really had a hard time
syncing our schedules this week.Copy !req
215. Ah, this is wonderful, Peter.Copy !req
216. It-It's like a honeymoon in
CutawayLand, away from our kids.Copy !req
217. Yep. Next stop, Paris.Copy !req
218. Aw, crap,
we picked the wrong line.Copy !req
219. May I have your name, please?Copy !req
220. Robert Loggia.Copy !req
221. Can you spell that for me?Copy !req
222. Certainly.
That's "Robert Loggia."Copy !req
223. "R" as in "Robert Loggia."Copy !req
224. "O" as in "Oh, my God,
it's Robert Loggia."Copy !req
225. "B" as in "By God,
that's Robert Loggia."Copy !req
226. Oh, God, there are reruns
in CutawayLand.Copy !req
227. I remember this one.
It takes a while.Copy !req
228. Longer than it took to get
my iPad back from Chris.Copy !req
229. What is he watching?Copy !req
230. BBC. Let's see
what's going on in England.Copy !req
231. Huh, I didn't know
there was a BBC 12.Copy !req
232. Oh, my God!Copy !req
233. Brexit. Stage right.Copy !req
234. Actually, I will take this.Copy !req
235. This is wonderful, too.Copy !req
236. I've always wanted to ride
in a hot-air balloon.Copy !req
237. Actually, Lois,
it's a fart-air balloon.Copy !req
238. So, what do you think
of Santa Fe?Copy !req
239. This is terrible.Copy !req
240. I'd rather be in the pancake ER.Copy !req
241. - What do we got?
- It was a bad flip.Copy !req
242. He got folded over on himself,Copy !req
243. so he's still wet
on the other side.Copy !req
244. - Was he the first one
of the batch?
- He was.Copy !req
245. Damn it! It's always
the first one of the batch.Copy !req
246. All right, get him in a roomCopy !req
247. and give him 20 cc's
of Log Cabin negative.Copy !req
248. The butter burned,Copy !req
249. so there's a crispy black circle
around the circumference.Copy !req
250. Son of a bitch.Copy !req
251. Tell the family he's going
to lose his outer crust.Copy !req
252. - Excuse me, Doctor?
- What?Copy !req
253. Pancakes aren't people.Copy !req
254. We need this wing for Covid.Copy !req
255. I can't believe it.Copy !req
256. Principal Shepherd
came to our party.Copy !req
257. Welcome.
Glad to have you, John.Copy !req
258. Oh, no, no, no, no.Copy !req
259. Is that girl here who wears
the butt cheek bottom shorts?Copy !req
260. - No, she transferred
to that alternative school.
- Oh.Copy !req
261. Do you happen to know if they're
having a party tonight?Copy !req
262. What?
You can't leave yet.Copy !req
263. You haven't even tried the cake.Copy !req
264. This cake says,
"You can beat chemo, Helen."Copy !req
265. It was on a discount.Copy !req
266. Helen couldn't beat chemo.Copy !req
267. Dancing on a table, yo!Copy !req
268. Things about to get cra...
Oh!Copy !req
269. cra... Oh!Copy !req
270. Sweet! A cutawayCopy !req
271. about an unlocked
hospital medicine closet.Copy !req
272. I chose this cutaway
'cause it's funCopy !req
273. and for sure not to feed
my fentanyl addiction.Copy !req
274. Ooh! And next door
is a classic song about AIDSCopy !req
275. that I now partly regret.Copy !req
276. What a blessed day
in CutawayLand.Copy !req
277. Peter, this has been fun,Copy !req
278. but I want to go back home.Copy !req
279. - What?
- I miss the kids.Copy !req
280. I want to go back.Copy !req
281. - I want to see our family.
- But, Lois...Copy !req
282. - Is this Mr. Devanney's room?
- Mr. Devanney, right.Copy !req
283. That's the name of the guy
with the AIDS. Next room over.Copy !req
284. Lois, our kids suckCopy !req
285. and cutaways are good.
What's the problem here?Copy !req
286. They may suck,
but they're our children.Copy !req
287. - Tom Devanney?
- Tom Devanney,
who in fact has AIDS,Copy !req
288. - is next door.
- My mistake.Copy !req
289. "Judy Garland Showtime Pills"?Copy !req
290. What do these do?Copy !req
291. Peter, enough. I know
you want to have fun with drugs,Copy !req
292. but what's the point of drugsCopy !req
293. if you don't have kids
to share 'em with?Copy !req
294. Damn it, Lois.
We're having fun for once,Copy !req
295. but all you can talk about
is the kids.Copy !req
296. Well, I'm sorry, Peter.
I want to go back.Copy !req
297. And with any luck,
we'll get home by wine o'clock.Copy !req
298. - What was that?
- Hilarious mom wine joke.Copy !req
299. - You think so?
- Oh, I don't think. I pinot.Copy !req
300. Oh, boy, here I go.Copy !req
301. Forgive me, Father,
for I have zinned.Copy !req
302. - Please-please stop.
- Okay, you don't like
these jokes,Copy !req
303. but let's see what all the momsCopy !req
304. eating soup
at Panera Bread think.Copy !req
305. Well, I don't care
if you miss the kids.Copy !req
306. I am not gonna
let you ruin this.Copy !req
307. - Tom Brady's locker.
- Peter, we've already...Copy !req
308. Tom Brady's locker.Copy !req
309. Okay, Peter, that's it.Copy !req
310. We're going home,
and we're going home now.Copy !req
311. All right, fine.Copy !req
312. Let's say it at the same time.Copy !req
313. This is like the time we were
together with our family.Copy !req
314. Wh-Where am I?Copy !req
315. Mom? Dad?Copy !req
316. I haven't been given a morsel
of food since you left,Copy !req
317. by the way.
Not one crumb.Copy !req
318. I was just driving a car
a second ago.Copy !req
319. That's a problem, right?Copy !req
320. And now to exhibit the only
power I have in this world.Copy !req
321. Stop.Copy !req
322. Hey, stop.Copy !req
323. He's not stopping.Copy !req
324. You're supposed to stop
for my hand.Copy !req
325. You're supposed
to stop for my hand!Copy !req
326. You're supposed to stop
for my hand!Copy !req
327. You're supposed to stopCopy !req
328. for my hand!Copy !req
329. - What is this?
- It's just a little mix-up.Copy !req
330. Peter, let's try it again.Copy !req
331. This is like the time
we were togetherCopy !req
332. with our family at home.Copy !req
333. What...
Why didn't it work?Copy !req
334. This is better
than being at home.Copy !req
335. "We make a better team than"
at home.Copy !req
336. "Worse than" at home?Copy !req
337. "The AIDS person
is Tom Devanney,Copy !req
338. which is the name
of a Family Guy writer" home?Copy !req
339. Oh, God, Peter.
I think we're stuck here.Copy !req
340. Yeah. I'm also bummed
'cause I'm missingCopy !req
341. that Australian guy's marriage
to his catamaran.Copy !req
342. Didgeridoo you take this boat
to be your wife?Copy !req
343. - I didgeridoo.
- And now,Copy !req
344. if there are any spiders
the size of dinner platesCopy !req
345. that object to this marriage,Copy !req
346. please speak now
or forever hold your peace.Copy !req
347. Go get 'em, mate!Copy !req
348. I now pronounce you
man and boat.Copy !req
349. Wait, so, when
you two disappeared,Copy !req
350. you were just doing cutaways?Copy !req
351. - And now we're all trapped here?
- In our defense,Copy !req
352. we only disappeared
'cause we don't like you.Copy !req
353. How did we get here?
What is this place?Copy !req
354. Well, Chris, it's CutawayLand.Copy !req
355. Well, what are the rules here?Copy !req
356. Okay. It takes a setup
from both of us.Copy !req
357. And that's how it works.Copy !req
358. I still don't fully understand.Copy !req
359. Okay.Copy !req
360. In order to move
within CutawayLand...Copy !req
361. I still don't get it,
but let's just move on.Copy !req
362. What are we gonna do, Mom?Copy !req
363. Shut up, everyone, shut up!
First things first,Copy !req
364. did you clean up the house
before coming to CutawayLand?Copy !req
365. 'Cause if it's found messy,
it's gonna reflect poorly on me.Copy !req
366. Hello? Anyone?Copy !req
367. Hmm, quite messy.Copy !req
368. That reflects poorly
on Mrs. Griffin.Copy !req
369. Sorry to intrude.Copy !req
370. I just wanted to let myself in
to your private residence.Copy !req
371. Huh.
Nobody's home.Copy !req
372. Nobody's home?Copy !req
373. Principal party!Copy !req
374. We got to get out of here.
Come on, let's think.Copy !req
375. Huh, look at that.Copy !req
376. They've got every other team's
playbook alphabetized.Copy !req
377. Don't look at the Patriots'
rampant cheating.Copy !req
378. Look at the Trump hat.Copy !req
379. There's a phone.Copy !req
380. Maybe we can call someone
for help.Copy !req
381. Joe was looking for you guys
before. Maybe he can help.Copy !req
382. I'll give it a try.Copy !req
383. This cord is all tangled up.Copy !req
384. What do I do,
Patriots owner Robert Kraft?Copy !req
385. Just give it a tug.
It'll straighten out.Copy !req
386. All right, I'm calling Joe.Copy !req
387. Oh, yeah, this thing.Copy !req
388. Super long.Copy !req
389. —Joe, pick up.Copy !req
390. Pick up, Joe.Copy !req
391. Hey, Joe, what's with
these crooks on Wall Street?Copy !req
392. Oh, my God, don't even get me
started on those guys.Copy !req
393. Joe, shut up. No one cares.
Just tell me,Copy !req
394. are you in the real world,
or are you a cutaway?Copy !req
395. Uh, no, I'm at home.Copy !req
396. - Why, do you need me
for a cutaway?
- Okay, good.Copy !req
397. Just making sure
you're not Cutaway Joe.Copy !req
398. Hey, you know, that should be
your answering machine.Copy !req
399. Cutaway Joe to "Cotton Eye Joe."Copy !req
400. Call me back in three minutes.Copy !req
401. - Joe, we don't have...
- Call me back in three minutes.Copy !req
402. - Hilarious, right?
- Joe, we're stuck
in CutawayLand.Copy !req
403. - How do we get out?
- Well,Copy !req
404. according to a 16-year-old
autistic fan in Akron, Ohio,Copy !req
405. "In order for the Griffins
to escapeCopy !req
406. "from a theoretical CutawayLand,
they must first journeyCopy !req
407. "back to the original
Family Guy cutawayCopy !req
408. with Adolf Hitler and kill him."Copy !req
409. That's it!
We'll kill HitlerCopy !req
410. to prevent CutawayLand
and nothing else.Copy !req
411. But how do we get there?
Our setups aren't working.Copy !req
412. Well, this is where it gets
a little complicated.Copy !req
413. "In order to return
to the original cutaway,Copy !req
414. each family member must..."Copy !req
415. Wow, Joe's instructions
were perfect.Copy !req
416. Well, who's going to
kill Hitler?Copy !req
417. Peter, I got to admit, I'm
not comfortable with this plan.Copy !req
418. Yeah, I know he was evil,
but do we really have the rightCopy !req
419. to take the life
of another human being?Copy !req
420. Human being?
It's Hitler.Copy !req
421. Wow, the middle-class morality
of Brian Griffin.Copy !req
422. Hitler head, yo!Copy !req
423. He cried like a bitch
when I did it.Copy !req
424. Let's get out of here.Copy !req
425. We're... we're back.Copy !req
426. Meg, you saved us.Copy !req
427. Why are all these principals
in our house?Copy !req
428. You don't want all these nuts
roaming the streets.Copy !req
429. Gary, another LaCroix over here.Copy !req
430. Pamplemousse?
- If they have it, yeah.Copy !req
431. - Peter? Peter, are you okay?Copy !req
432. Wh-What?
What's happening?Copy !req
433. You've been passed out
for 22 minutes,Copy !req
434. babbling about cutaways
and Hitler.Copy !req
435. - We were so worried.
- I wasn't that worried.Copy !req
436. Maybe you shouldn't have eaten
those raw oysters.Copy !req
437. I-I'm fine, I'm fine.
Let's just go home.Copy !req
438. All right. Let me take this
sweet, sticky Popsicle paperCopy !req
439. to that beach trash can
that has bees on it now.Copy !req
440. - Damn it!Copy !req
441. Family Guy
returns with new episodes.Copy !req
442. We're back!Copy !req
443. Sundays on Fox.Copy !req