1. You're watching CBS,Copy !req
2. the loudest channel on TV.Copy !req
3. Previously on NCIS...Copy !req
4. Ah, son of a bitch!Copy !req
5. So, what kind of
Navy crime do we have today?Copy !req
6. - Dad, it hurts!
- I'll show you.Copy !req
7. Follow me to our windowless,
high-tech room.Copy !req
8. I love you, Peter.Copy !req
9. Drive the van faster!Copy !req
10. He's headed towards the Port
of Washington, D.C.,Copy !req
11. where our Navy is held.Copy !req
12. I'm browning out.Copy !req
13. See you on the other side.Copy !req
14. We interrupt this program
for an update on the weather.Copy !req
15. Record rains continue
as Hurricane Michael CaineCopy !req
16. has stalled over the Rhode Island coast.Copy !req
17. Experts say Hurricane Michael CaineCopy !req
18. is 100 times more impressive
than Hurricane Dean Cain,Copy !req
19. which just seems silly now.Copy !req
20. - Oh, my God.
- What are we gonna do now?Copy !req
21. Ah, well, at least we're all here,Copy !req
22. and we're all safe.Copy !req
23. - Where's Brian?
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
24. When we evacuated,
I think we forgot him.Copy !req
25. It's okay, Lois, I left him chained upCopy !req
26. in the gully in the backyard.Copy !req
27. Guys? Guys?Copy !req
28. All right, well, TV's out, no Internet.Copy !req
29. Let's all just go to the bathroomCopy !req
30. and pretend we can't hear each other go.Copy !req
31. So, Chris, did you get backCopy !req
32. your Industrial Revolution term paper?Copy !req
33. I did. I got an 11.Copy !req
34. Is-is that good?Copy !req
35. No, it's quite bad.Copy !req
36. Hey, guys, the splatter
on the floor was already here.Copy !req
37. I used four of the five towels
to clean it up.Copy !req
38. Seriously, guys, what are we
gonna do in here?Copy !req
39. Well, maybe there's something
in this drawerCopy !req
40. we can all play with.Copy !req
41. Hair gel, condom.Copy !req
42. Boy, the last guy who stayed hereCopy !req
43. was super cool.Copy !req
44. And there's a book in here
that makes you tiredCopy !req
45. just by looking at it.Copy !req
46. A book called "T,"
written by Holly Bibble.Copy !req
47. "Uh, Peter, I think that's
the Holy Bible..."Copy !req
48. Is what Brian would say if he
wasn't drowning in our backyard.Copy !req
49. When he's gone, can we get a bird?Copy !req
50. Read some, Peter, you'll love it.Copy !req
51. It's Harry Potter for stupid people.Copy !req
52. Hey, guys, could you tone it down?Copy !req
53. This is offensive
to the open-button shirtCopy !req
54. necklace community.Copy !req
55. Okay "The Street James Bibble." Page I.Copy !req
56. Seriously, could somebody else
read this?Copy !req
57. "In the beginning, God created
the Heaven and the Earth,Copy !req
58. and the sitcom joke that goes,
'That went well.'"Copy !req
59. "And the first man and woman,
Adam and Eve."Copy !req
60. I think the leaf over my balls
is poison ivy.Copy !req
61. What should we do today?Copy !req
62. I don't know,
but you're looking pretty hot.Copy !req
63. You should wear this to work more often.Copy !req
64. Hey, that's sexual harassment.Copy !req
65. Oh, so, should I stop?Copy !req
66. Yes, in about 10,000 years.Copy !req
67. Hey, while I got you,
there's nothing to do down here.Copy !req
68. When are you gonna invent
the American Office on Netflix?Copy !req
69. I-I just feel like they're not grateful.Copy !req
70. You know, I-I gave them water, the sun,Copy !req
71. a clear road map to hating gays.Copy !req
72. So, uh, you want to name more stuff?Copy !req
73. Ugh, that's all we ever do.Copy !req
74. Yeah, and there's still six
billion things left to name.Copy !req
75. Okay, I'll start.
That green, leafy thing.Copy !req
76. That's a Casey.Copy !req
77. That thing flying
through the sky there... Casey.Copy !req
78. You can't name everything Casey.Copy !req
79. All right, fine, Eve.Copy !req
80. What's the word for that thing
flying through the sky?Copy !req
81. - I don't know... bird.
- Oh, bird?Copy !req
82. - Bird is the word?
- Bird?Copy !req
83. - Bird.
- Bird?Copy !req
84. Bird. Bird is the word.Copy !req
85. Peter, cut it out!Copy !req
86. You know, charades are
a thing people do.Copy !req
87. Anyone mind if I open
fragrant Doritos in a tiny room?Copy !req
88. Ooh... Oh! Ugh...Copy !req
89. It smells like horse crap.
What flavor is it?Copy !req
90. "Cattle Ranch Doritos."Copy !req
91. Relax, Lois. Family Guy
has long been sponsoredCopy !req
92. by Axe body spray.Copy !req
93. Axe?Copy !req
94. There. Now we all smell like
a nightmare Tinder date.Copy !req
95. Okay, you two, I'm going away
for the weekend.Copy !req
96. My girlfriend got a piece
in an art show,Copy !req
97. and I'd look like a dick if I didn't go.Copy !req
98. It's a pot that no one's allowed to use.Copy !req
99. Don't even suggest putting keys in it.Copy !req
100. Did everyone who submitted
to the art show get in?Copy !req
101. Yes. But again, don't want to be a dick.Copy !req
102. So, if you're looking
for me this weekend,Copy !req
103. I'll be nibbling terrible cheese cubesCopy !req
104. with Santa Fe people who couldn't cut itCopy !req
105. in the real world.Copy !req
106. Are any of them named Melody?Copy !req
107. They're all named Melody!Copy !req
108. Coming.Copy !req
109. Well, I gotta go get yelled at
for being late to somethingCopy !req
110. I didn't want to go to
in the first place.Copy !req
111. All right, before I go, I got two rules.Copy !req
112. No putting your penis
in the gopher holes,Copy !req
113. and no apples.Copy !req
114. You can trust us. Ow! That went well.Copy !req
115. Oh, my God, that's so funny.Copy !req
116. 'Cause it didn't go well.Copy !req
117. - Adam, would you like a pear?
- Apple.Copy !req
118. - Orange?
- Apple.Copy !req
119. - Grape?
- Apple.Copy !req
120. - Peach?
- Apple.Copy !req
121. - Nectarine?
- Casey.Copy !req
122. - Cantaloupe?
- Apple.Copy !req
123. - Honeydew?
- Apple.Copy !req
124. - Clementine?
- Apple.Copy !req
125. Hey, you guys looking for some apples?Copy !req
126. You know, I could go for an apple.Copy !req
127. No. Adam, remember what God said.Copy !req
128. About his nightmare girlfriend's
art show?Copy !req
129. 'Cause that's all I remember
about that poor guy.Copy !req
130. No. He said if we eat the apple
we're kicked out of paradise.Copy !req
131. - They have antioxidants.
- They do?Copy !req
132. Why would I lie? I'm a snake in a tree.Copy !req
133. I have nothing to gain
from lying to you,Copy !req
134. aside from the minor sexual thrillCopy !req
135. of watching someone eat something.Copy !req
136. And-and that's minor.Copy !req
137. Okay, I'm gonna do it.Copy !req
138. Okay, good. Now, Adam can't be here.Copy !req
139. Eat it with your feet, and
look at me when you do it.Copy !req
140. What the hell happened here?Copy !req
141. Uh, it's not our fault.Copy !req
142. You created the most tempting thingCopy !req
143. man has ever known... a piece of fruit.Copy !req
144. That's it, you two are
kicked out of paradise.Copy !req
145. Unless you want to buy a nice pot.Copy !req
146. Can I put my keys in it?Copy !req
147. - No.
- Fine, we'll leave.Copy !req
148. But where will we live?Copy !req
149. The opposite of Eden.Copy !req
150. Well, Florida, time to fit in.Copy !req
151. Let's go have sex
with gum in our mouths.Copy !req
152. Then what happened?Copy !req
153. - They populated the Earth.
- How?Copy !req
154. - They had kids.
- Okay, but then, what did they do?Copy !req
155. They had kids, too.Copy !req
156. - With who?
- They were fruitful.Copy !req
157. - With who?
- Well, the girlsCopy !req
158. with either their brothers
or their fathers,Copy !req
159. and the boys with either
their sisters or their mothers.Copy !req
160. That's disgusting.Copy !req
161. No, Meg, that's the Bible.Copy !req
162. Are we just gonna let
that guy in the parking lotCopy !req
163. keep screaming at his girlfriend?Copy !req
164. Peter, get away from the window.Copy !req
165. Shh, shh, shh. If we're quiet,Copy !req
166. you can hear every fifth word.Copy !req
167. Always...Copy !req
168. - never...
- my friends...Copy !req
169. Michelob Ultra!Copy !req
170. All right, back to the Bible.Copy !req
171. And again, you'll let me know
if another older,Copy !req
172. heavyset woman wanders by
in nothing but a T-shirt?Copy !req
173. Why did we choose this motel?Copy !req
174. This is any motel.Copy !req
175. Now, here's a story about
a bunch of animalsCopy !req
176. who went on a cruise.Copy !req
177. Noah, I want you to build an ark.Copy !req
178. Right.Copy !req
179. - What's an ark?
- A large ship.Copy !req
180. 40 cubits by 80 cubits by 40 cubits.Copy !req
181. Right. What's a cubit?Copy !req
182. Wait a minute, are you just
doing Bill Cosby bits?Copy !req
183. Yeah, why not? All of his stuff
is up for grabs.Copy !req
184. What is he gonna do, sue us?Copy !req
185. Now, where was I? Oh, yeah.Copy !req
186. "Noah was feeding his children
chocolate cake for breakfast."Copy !req
187. Dad is great. Give us chocolate cake.Copy !req
188. Dad is great.Copy !req
189. Give us chocolate cake.Copy !req
190. Terrific. Okay, kids, that's enough.Copy !req
191. We're done stealing from "Dr." Cosby.Copy !req
192. Now it's time to get ready for school.Copy !req
193. There's no school today.
There was another mass stoning.Copy !req
194. Ugh, another school stoning.Copy !req
195. When will we learn?Copy !req
196. If only those teachers had stones,Copy !req
197. then they could stone back.Copy !req
198. Hello? Stone control.Copy !req
199. Shem, stones don't kill people.
People kill people.Copy !req
200. With stones.Copy !req
201. I don't think the Founding FathersCopy !req
202. ever envisioned stones this large.Copy !req
203. Can we not politicize the stoning?Copy !req
204. All right? Thoughts and prayers.Copy !req
205. Thoughts and prayers for the bashed.Copy !req
206. Oh, hey, honey, two things.Copy !req
207. I stopped taking my lithium,Copy !req
208. and I'm building an ark for God.Copy !req
209. - Those things seem related.
- They're not related.Copy !req
210. - They're fighting again.
- Shh.Copy !req
211. If you're quiet,
you can hear every fifth word.Copy !req
212. - Always...
- never...Copy !req
213. They're my animals...Copy !req
214. Michelob Ultra!Copy !req
215. "To build the ark, Noah stole the woodCopy !req
216. from the front of his neighbor's house."Copy !req
217. No, no, no, no, Noah!Copy !req
218. "And the animals came, two by two,Copy !req
219. and were given poorly assigned rooms."Copy !req
220. All right, uh, lions, you'll be
with the baby antelopes.Copy !req
221. Uh, crocodiles, you're with
the water-crossing wildebeests.Copy !req
222. Uh, bats, you'll be with bugs.Copy !req
223. Seagulls, McDonald's wrappers.Copy !req
224. Pit bulls and city babies.Copy !req
225. And Christian Bale and
annoying cameramen.Copy !req
226. Hey, Christian, looks like
I'm rooming with you.Copy !req
227. Oh, good for you!Copy !req
228. "Soon, the Great Flood came...Copy !req
229. "... and the ark set sail.Copy !req
230. "Then, like every father on a boat,Copy !req
231. Noah quickly became
a total dick to his family."Copy !req
232. Is that a half-hitch knot?Copy !req
233. Uh... yeah.Copy !req
234. Well, if it's a half-hitch,
it's not gonna hold.Copy !req
235. It's gotta be a reef knot.
You call yourself a sailor?Copy !req
236. - I don't know.
- Can I talk to you portside?Copy !req
237. Why are you heading starboard?
I said portside.Copy !req
238. I don't... I don't
understand what's happening.Copy !req
239. I really don't. Why...
Why would you go starboardCopy !req
240. if I said portside?Copy !req
241. Look, why don't I tie the knots,Copy !req
242. you polish the teak. Can you do that?Copy !req
243. Wait, you're gonna polish
the teak on the windward side?Copy !req
244. I ca... I can't...
Is this... Is this guy for real?Copy !req
245. It's gonna make a mess.Copy !req
246. You have to do it on the leeward side.Copy !req
247. - Sorry.
- Never mind. Just take a break.Copy !req
248. All right? I left
a Penthouse magazine for youCopy !req
249. in the aft cabin.Copy !req
250. Oh, suddenly he's Popeye.Copy !req
251. Okay, guys, now remember to use
the right bathrooms.Copy !req
252. All right, you're either
"pellets" or "piles."Copy !req
253. Excuse me, what about green smooshies?Copy !req
254. Oi, yeah, wombat here.Copy !req
255. What if my poop is a perfect cube?Copy !req
256. It's a real thing you can Google,Copy !req
257. it's really quite remarkable.Copy !req
258. Okay, God, we're doing it.Copy !req
259. Good. And you brought all the animals?Copy !req
260. - Yup.
- Lions?Copy !req
261. - Yup.
- Tigers?Copy !req
262. - Yup.
- Spiders?Copy !req
263. - Mm-hmm.
- W-Wait, w-why'd you say it like that?Copy !req
264. - Did you not bring spiders?
- I don't like spiders.Copy !req
265. And-and technically, they're not
animals, they're arachnids.Copy !req
266. - Don't do that.
- Do what?Copy !req
267. You know what I meant.Copy !req
268. Snakes?Copy !req
269. - Oh, come on!
- I-I got a lot of stuff!Copy !req
270. 39 days later...Copy !req
271. I'm sorry I threw
the Monopoly board overboardCopy !req
272. on the third day.Copy !req
273. I was mad I couldn't be the hat.Copy !req
274. Well, at least we still have
The Game of Life.Copy !req
275. I'm the blue car.Copy !req
276. Um, I'm— I'm already the blue car.Copy !req
277. Sorry I threw
The Game of Life overboard.Copy !req
278. All right, let's play Risk
until it's clear I can't win.Copy !req
279. Look! A bird on the horizon!Copy !req
280. Ah! Giant Bible bird!Copy !req
281. Aah!Copy !req
282. Somebody throw away the
balled-up underwear in my room!Copy !req
283. Don't look at it!Copy !req
284. Just throw it away!Copy !req
285. Ah, look! Land!Copy !req
286. Pale-Israel-stein.Copy !req
287. Now let's divide it into banks
and stripsCopy !req
288. as one normally does with land.Copy !req
289. "Shem and Ham married their mom,Copy !req
290. "while she and Noah remained
the best of friends.Copy !req
291. "Noah even danced with Ham
at his second marriageCopy !req
292. "to his daughter.Copy !req
293. "Shem and Ham had twins
named Phlegm and Yam,Copy !req
294. "who married each other and gave birthCopy !req
295. to Noah's next daughter-wife."Copy !req
296. And that's the story of the Great Flood.Copy !req
297. Now God only brings natural disastersCopy !req
298. to places that have
too much butt stuff going on.Copy !req
299. God, if you stop this rain,Copy !req
300. I promise I'll never do butt stuff.Copy !req
301. God, if you stop this rain,Copy !req
302. I'll never do butt stuff again.Copy !req
303. Let it pour.Copy !req
304. This is fun.
Read us something else, Dad.Copy !req
305. You got it, Chris.Copy !req
306. How about this laminated
motel information sheet?Copy !req
307. "Checkout is noon.Copy !req
308. "Must dial nine to reach
outside prostitute.Copy !req
309. "In the event of fire,Copy !req
310. "follow the older heavyset lady
in just a T-shirt.Copy !req
311. "There are no dining facilities on-site,Copy !req
312. "but guests are encouraged
to visit the Applebee's,Copy !req
313. which is a short walk across
the six-lane highway."Copy !req
314. Well, we might have to brave that walk.Copy !req
315. I'm starving.Copy !req
316. Oh, God, I made eye contactCopy !req
317. with someone looking for shelter.Copy !req
318. Guys?Copy !req
319. Guys?Copy !req
320. Lot of street signs
whipping around out here.Copy !req
321. I had an umbrella,
but as this is a comedy,Copy !req
322. you can imagine what happened to it.Copy !req
323. Let's see what's in the mini-fridge.Copy !req
324. There's nothing in here to eat
but crackers and screw-top wine.Copy !req
325. Who buys a comb out of a mini-fridge?Copy !req
326. - Guys?
- Crackers and wine?Copy !req
327. You know, that actually reminds meCopy !req
328. of another Bible story: The Last Supper.Copy !req
329. "It was the week before Easter,Copy !req
330. "and Jesus and Mary Magdalene
were dyeing eggsCopy !req
331. "with that cheap messy coloring
kit from the drugstoreCopy !req
332. "that has those weird paper
things that are like costumesCopy !req
333. for the eggs but never really
fit around the eggs..."Copy !req
334. Hey. Hey, Mary.Copy !req
335. The half-orange, half-red one
is mine, so don't eat it.Copy !req
336. I wanna have it for when we watchCopy !req
337. The Sound of Music on Sunday.Copy !req
338. We don't have to wait till Sunday.Copy !req
339. We can eat these eggs tonight.Copy !req
340. Oh. Sorry, I got that big supper
with the guys tonight.Copy !req
341. But tomorrow's Friday, date night.Copy !req
342. You and me.
Nothing's keepin' me from that.Copy !req
343. Somebody'd have to nail me
to a piece of woodCopy !req
344. and throw me in a cave grave.Copy !req
345. You're having supper
with your disciples?Copy !req
346. What's the big occasion?Copy !req
347. Ah, we're drafting teams
for our fantasy football league.Copy !req
348. And if one guy isn't there, it
screws it all up for everybody.Copy !req
349. Like last time,
Paul was on his speaker phone,Copy !req
350. and we were like, "Paul, you're up,"Copy !req
351. and he'd be like, "I'm what?"Copy !req
352. And we'd say, "You're up."Copy !req
353. And he'd be like
"Oh, okay, um, Randy Moss."Copy !req
354. And we'd say, "Thomas picked
Randy Moss, he's off the board."Copy !req
355. And he'd say, "What?"
It just... it just really sucked.Copy !req
356. Well, I guess if your friends
are expecting you,Copy !req
357. - you have to go.
- Right?Copy !req
358. Okay, I'll see ya.Copy !req
359. Are you sure you don't want to change?Copy !req
360. That's the same robe you wore
to the leper colony.Copy !req
361. I don't know, maybe throw it
in the dryer at least?Copy !req
362. Don't take this the wrong way,Copy !req
363. but I'm not taking advice
about germs from a whore.Copy !req
364. Mr. Pilate, I'm here
to file a complaint.Copy !req
365. It's Passover, and somebody tricked meCopy !req
366. into eating leavened bread!Copy !req
367. Look, I'm from Rome.Copy !req
368. If it isn't spaghetti,
I don't know what the hellCopy !req
369. you're talking about.
Now get out of here!Copy !req
370. Grace! Grace, am I done?Copy !req
371. Can I go home?Copy !req
372. Ooh, not yet.Copy !req
373. You still have that meeting
with that Judas IscariotCopy !req
374. regarding that Jesus fella.Copy !req
375. Ugh, right, Jesus.Copy !req
376. Man, that guy's a pain in the ass.Copy !req
377. Oh, well, he's very popular.Copy !req
378. The lepers, the Canaanites,
the fishermen,Copy !req
379. the Philippians, that woman at the well.Copy !req
380. Oh, they all love him.Copy !req
381. They think he's a righteous dude.Copy !req
382. Wasn't that cool?Copy !req
383. That was really her. Edie McClurg.Copy !req
384. Thanks, Edie.Copy !req
385. Hey, man, what's the buzz?Copy !req
386. Tell me what's a-happening.Copy !req
387. What are you, high?
What the hell is that?Copy !req
388. Listen, I got 30 pieces of silverCopy !req
389. if you narc on your friend Jesus.Copy !req
390. Oh, I don't know.Copy !req
391. Seems like kind of a slimy thing to do.Copy !req
392. I will also throw in
two dirty tennis balls.Copy !req
393. Well, lead with that, man! Yeah!Copy !req
394. Okay, we're all gonna be at
the Jerusalem El Torito at 5:15.Copy !req
395. 5:15?Copy !req
396. Yeah, it's a very big group.Copy !req
397. It was either that or 10:45.Copy !req
398. Did it go off yet?Copy !req
399. No. Stop askin' me.Copy !req
400. I thought we had a reservation.Copy !req
401. So did I. So did I.Copy !req
402. I just went to the bathroom.
The whole patio's open.Copy !req
403. Yeah, but are there heating lamps?Copy !req
404. 'Cause I can hear Simon already:
"Beep. Beep-boop.Copy !req
405. Beep-boop-beep. Ba..."Copy !req
406. We get it, it's cold.Copy !req
407. - "Christ"?
- Oh, yes, that's us.Copy !req
408. Ed Christ?Copy !req
409. Uh, no, no, Jesus Christ.Copy !req
410. I'm Ed Christ.Copy !req
411. Great. Is your whole party here?Copy !req
412. Almost, my wife Stephanie
is out pooping on some hay,Copy !req
413. but she is here.Copy !req
414. How's this?Copy !req
415. All right, that's great.Copy !req
416. Hey, guys, I want to have fun
with the seating.Copy !req
417. Let's do it boy, boy... boy, boy...Copy !req
418. boy, boy... boy, boy.Copy !req
419. And let's all sit on
the same side of the table.Copy !req
420. Can I start you folks off
with anything to drink?Copy !req
421. Yes, we'll all be splitting
one cup of wine.Copy !req
422. And can we have some bread
and no other food at all?Copy !req
423. Wow. Let me guess, you're Jewish?Copy !req
424. Yes, although my first name
is oddly Puerto Rican.Copy !req
425. Friends, followers,Copy !req
426. there's something important
we must discuss.Copy !req
427. Remember the Pizza Hut
Bigfoot Pizza from the '90s?Copy !req
428. That thing was huge.Copy !req
429. I mean, I-it was, like, this big.Copy !req
430. Your photos will be
available in the lobbyCopy !req
431. when your meal is over.Copy !req
432. O-Okay, uh, thank you. Thank you.Copy !req
433. Sorry about that, I was kind of
right in the middle of my thing.Copy !req
434. Anyway, there's something else
you should know.Copy !req
435. Before the night is over,
one of you will betray me.Copy !req
436. This is some bullcrap.Copy !req
437. I'm the only one who's the colorCopy !req
438. we're supposed to be in this thing.Copy !req
439. Yeah, let's not be so quick
to judge here.Copy !req
440. - We're better than tha...
- Quiet down, Judas.Copy !req
441. There's a Judas among us.Copy !req
442. And it's Luke!Copy !req
443. Oh, good, I thought I was too late.Copy !req
444. Wait... what... h-hey!Copy !req
445. - What are you doing?
- Kissing you, like in the plan.Copy !req
446. The old "Judas Kiss."Copy !req
447. No, it's Jesus who gets the kiss.Copy !req
448. And did you... did you close your eyes?Copy !req
449. Oh, so I kiss Jesus, then?Copy !req
450. - No, I do.
- Well, who do I kiss?Copy !req
451. All right, I'm not leaving here
until I kiss a guy.Copy !req
452. It's the only reason I joined the army.Copy !req
453. Okay, good, here's the bread.Copy !req
454. Now everybody listen up.Copy !req
455. Take this, and eat it.Copy !req
456. It's supposed to be, like, my body.Copy !req
457. - Ew, what part?
- I'm not gonna say what part,Copy !req
458. but you're supposed to eat it
while kneeling.Copy !req
459. All right, now it's a party.Copy !req
460. Okay, now pass this wine around.Copy !req
461. You're never gonna believe
what this is supposed to be.Copy !req
462. Ah, son of a bitch!Copy !req
463. All right, forget it. You know what?Copy !req
464. This whole thing is ruined.Copy !req
465. Okay? We'll just do it next week.Copy !req
466. I mean, it's not like this is
our last supper.Copy !req
467. Hey, what the hell are you doing?Copy !req
468. You're supposed to arrest this guy.Copy !req
469. Relax, man, it's a party.Copy !req
470. That's enough.Copy !req
471. All right, you're coming with me, buddy.Copy !req
472. Listen, pal, I forgive you,Copy !req
473. because you know not what you do,Copy !req
474. but get the hell out of here.Copy !req
475. I ain't leaving. You are.Copy !req
476. Oh, you think so?Copy !req
477. "It was a chicken fight
of biblical proportions.Copy !req
478. "And then, there was Easter.Copy !req
479. "Also, pregnant ladies
have to have the baby.Copy !req
480. The end of the Bible."Copy !req
481. - Hey!
- The lights are on!Copy !req
482. That vent is dripping again.Copy !req
483. And it looks like the storm has passed.Copy !req
484. Great, let's get out of here.Copy !req
485. Oh, it wasn't so bad, Meg.Copy !req
486. We got to spend time as a family,Copy !req
487. and read a few stories from the Bible.Copy !req
488. You're right. And look, somebody
bookmarked another page for us.Copy !req
489. Maybe there's one more story we can allCopy !req
490. learn an important lesson from...
oh, oh,Copy !req
491. it's a whole big toenail.Copy !req
492. Okay, all right, last one
across the highwayCopy !req
493. to Applebee's has to pay.Copy !req
494. You gotta cross at the light!Copy !req
495. - Shut up!
- What did you say?Copy !req
496. Oh, we doin' this?Copy !req
497. - We doin' this?
- You're damn right we are!Copy !req
498. Watch out, I got God on my side,
I will kill you!Copy !req
499. Well, it's good to be home.Copy !req
500. I'm glad our house
survived the hurricane.Copy !req
501. Yeah, now we got three months
of sour-smelling houseCopy !req
502. to look forward to while it dries out.Copy !req
503. I was left to die.Copy !req
504. Chris, you kept the Bible?Copy !req
505. Yeah. I think I'm gonna get a jobCopy !req
506. as a night security guard
and just read it constantly.Copy !req
507. I'm already putting lots
of notes in the margins.Copy !req
508. "And the king said unto her,Copy !req
509. "'What aileth thee?' And she answered,Copy !req
510. "'This woman said unto me, give thy son,Copy !req
511. "that we may eat him today, and
we will eat my son tomorrow.Copy !req
512. So we boiled my son, and did eat him.'"Copy !req
513. Second Kings 6:28-20.Copy !req
514. - But you already knew that.
- Look, man, I was just seeingCopy !req
515. if anyone dropped off my
umbrella at the lost and found.Copy !req
516. Well, let's see. There's got to
be something in here for that.Copy !req
517. Hey, you ever read Dianetics?Copy !req
518. No, but I believe it.Copy !req
519. And that is why I'm not gay.Copy !req