Family Guy 15x16

Directed by Steve Robertson

Neil Brown Jr. as Athlete with Money (voice) • Mae Whitman as Roller Derby Girl (voice) • Kevin Michael Richardson as Bouncer in Peter's Stomach (voice) • Christina Milian as Esther (voice) • Emily Osment as Ruth (voice)

In an attempt to avoid eating the healthy food that Lois forces him to eat, Peter opens up his own food truck with fattening foods. Meanwhile, Meg joins a roller derby team, despite Chris thinking it’s too dangerous

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1. Is Netflix Streaming

2. the right choice for you?

3. Well, if you like movies in HD,

4. then frozen pixels, then HD again,

5. the answer is "yes."

6. And if you love the golden year of movies, 2003,

7. then we might have some of what you're looking for.

8. Netflix Streaming: buffer for 20 minutes,

9. then watch 35 minutes of a movie with Jason Statham.

10. Oh, look what came,

11. the free DVD from my PBS pledge.

12. Whatever it is, we're not watching it.

13. Peter, trust me,

14. you of all people could really learn something from this.

15. It's a documentary about the food industry called,

16. Food Kills.

17. Huh. Says here that Colon Health Magazine

18. gave it two thumbs in.

19. Hi, I'm Matt Lauer's cousin, Stephen McCormick.

20. Our moms are sisters.

21. America is gorging itself on processed food,

22. creating an obesity epidemic.

23. We've abandoned natural foods

24. for chemicals, additives and refined sugars.

25. At this rate, this is what the future will look like.

26. Those are flying cars,

27. but the people in them are too fat.

28. Oh, no, I left my baby in there.

29. Without drastic changes in our diet,

30. Americans are headed for a health catastrophe.

31. For more, go to our website at

32. "double-u double-u double-u dot PBS dot com."

33. That's "www" dot,

34. the word "double-u" three times,

35. the word "dot,"PBS,"

36. the word "dot" again,

37. the word "com," dot com.

38. There was a miscommunication when we registered our website.

39. Well, that's it, from now on,

40. we're eating healthy around here.

41. We're gonna feel better and we're gonna look better.

42. Well, looking better doesn't always

43. solve your problems, Lois.

44. It sure didn't work for Droopy Dog when he got that facelift.

45. Contrary to my appearance, I'm still not happy.

46. Please study my brain so that others don't suffer as I have.

47. Thanks for coming to my birthday party, you guys.

48. And Esther, I'm so sorry you ripped your perineum

49. doing the Hokey Pokey.

50. That's okay, I got free curly fries.

51. Okay, let's see what Meg got me.

52. A crock pot?

53. Things about to get crazy!

54. You can cook a pork tenderloin under your bed.

55. Excuse me, girls.

56. We're about to start roller derby in a minute.

57. Wait, wait.

58. You. What's your name?

59. Me? Meg Griffin.

60. Would you mind standing up?

61. Whoa! What-what are you doing?

62. My God.

63. The magic ratio.

64. What's that?

65. It means your ankles, calves, and thighs

66. are all the same thickness.

67. How would you like to try out for the roller derby team? Really?

68. Do it, Meg. Yeah, Meg. You should totally do it.

69. Meg's talking to a boy!

70. Okay, sure. What the heck?

71. Here. Take my card.

72. "I am a registered sex offender."

73. Flip it over.

74. see other side."

75. Give me that.

76. I'm the roller derby coach.

77. See you at tryouts.

78. I can't believe it, you guys.

79. This is the biggest surprise

80. since the last M. Night Shyamalan movie.

81. Two tickets for the M. Night Shyamalan movie.

82. Wow. Really?

83. Hope you guys are ready for a healthy dinner.

84. I went to Whole Foods today and got this recipe

85. from an extremely thin man with a giant Adam's apple.

86. I hate that place.

87. None of the cereals are advertised on TV.

88. What's this stuff that looks like sand?

89. It's quinoa.

90. Nope, I don't eat foods that sound like karate words.

91. Well, according to Food Kills, quinoa is a superfood.

92. It's very nutritious, and it even helps keep you regular.

93. Lois, I have a system:

94. I poop once a week for an hour and a half.

95. I wear a headband and it's soaked when I'm all done.

96. Mm.

97. Wow, Lois, you know, this is actually pretty good.

98. Peter, you should try it.

99. Ugh. Fine.

100. Peter, knock it off.

101. I can't help it!

102. My body's rejecting it!

103. (dance music in the background) Name?

104. Quinoa.

105. Mm-hmm.

106. Sorry, sir, we're full.

107. Come on in, gummy bears!

108. Oh, you are looking fine tonight.

109. Mm!

110. Thanks again for coming and supporting me, Chris.

111. No problem. And I'm gonna take some pictures

112. of the other athletes, if you don't mind.

113. You might not know this about me,

114. but I am a bit of a shutterbug.

115. Okay, that's-that's all okay.

116. All right, ladies, line up.

117. How about we start with some warm-ups?

118. Bend down and touch your toes.

119. "Memory card full"?

120. Come on!

121. Okay, now, last year we were tricked

122. by a couch on a dolly with wheels,

123. so if any of you is a couch on a dolly with wheels,

124. I'm gonna ask you to please leave now.

125. Well, we need five for a team

126. and there's five of you here,

127. so congratulations.

128. Wow! This is awesome!

129. I can't believe I'm a Quahog Thug!

130. When do we start skating?

131. Here, look at the schedule.

132. This is just a list of Sexaholic Anonymous meetings.

133. Flip it over.

134. It says, "Remember to attend your meetings."

135. I'm gonna stop handing you stuff.

136. It's the middle of the night.

137. Where are you going?

138. I'm sick of all this healthy crap.

139. I'm going downstairs to find something good to eat.

140. And then I'm gonna fall asleep watching transvaginal mesh

141. lawsuit commercials.

142. There's nothing.

143. Thank you, son.

144. What's going on, man, are you pregnant?

145. No, my wife watched that food documentary.

146. And you should never ask that unless you're sure, by the way.

147. Aw, yeah, peanut-butter-cup- Dorito-sausage-car panini.

148. And let's crack a Cadbury Egg over the whole thing.

149. (sizzling) Just gonna use my spare glove-compartment-underwear

150. as a napkin.

151. I can't believe Randy Quaid gets to eat like this every day.