1. Is Netflix Streaming
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2. the right choice for you?
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3. Well, if you like movies in HD,
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4. then frozen pixels,
then HD again,
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5. the answer is "yes."
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6. And if you love the golden year
of movies, 2003,
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7. then we might have some
of what you're looking for.
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8. Netflix Streaming:
buffer for 20 minutes,
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9. then watch 35 minutes of
a movie with Jason Statham.
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10. Oh, look what came,
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11. the free DVD
from my PBS pledge.
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12. Whatever it is,
we're not watching it.
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13. Peter, trust me,
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14. you of all people could really
learn something from this.
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15. It's a documentary about
the food industry called,
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16. Food Kills.
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17. Huh. Says here that
Colon Health Magazine
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18. gave it two thumbs in.
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19. Hi, I'm Matt Lauer's cousin,
Stephen McCormick.
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20. Our moms are sisters.
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21. America is gorging itself
on processed food,
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22. creating an obesity epidemic.
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23. We've abandoned natural foods
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24. for chemicals, additives
and refined sugars.
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25. At this rate, this is what
the future will look like.
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26. Those are flying cars,
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27. but the people in them
are too fat.
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28. Oh, no, I left my baby
in there.
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29. Without drastic changes
in our diet,
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30. Americans are headed
for a health catastrophe.
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31. For more, go to our website at
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32. "double-u double-u double-u
dot PBS dot com."
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33. That's "www" dot,
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34. the word "double-u"
three times,
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35. the word "dot,"PBS,"
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36. the word "dot" again,
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37. the word "com," dot com.
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38. There was a miscommunication
when we registered our website.
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39. Well, that's it,
from now on,
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40. we're eating healthy
around here.
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41. We're gonna feel better
and we're gonna look better.
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42. Well, looking better
doesn't always
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43. solve your problems, Lois.
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44. It sure didn't work for Droopy
Dog when he got that facelift.
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45. Contrary to my appearance,
I'm still not happy.
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46. Please study my brain so that
others don't suffer as I have.
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47. Thanks for coming to
my birthday party, you guys.
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48. And Esther, I'm so sorry
you ripped your perineum
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49. doing the Hokey Pokey.
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50. That's okay, I got
free curly fries.
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51. Okay, let's see
what Meg got me.
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52. A crock pot?
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53. Things about
to get crazy!
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54. You can cook a pork
tenderloin under your bed.
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55. Excuse me, girls.
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56. We're about to start
roller derby in a minute.
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57. Wait, wait.
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58. You. What's your name?
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59. Me? Meg Griffin.
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60. Would you mind
standing up?
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61. Whoa! What-what
are you doing?
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62. My God.
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63. The magic ratio.
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64. What's that?
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65. It means your ankles,
calves, and thighs
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66. are all the
same thickness.
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67. How would you like to try out
for the roller derby team?
Really?
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68. Do it, Meg.
Yeah, Meg. You should
totally do it.
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69. Meg's talking to a boy!
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70. Okay, sure.
What the heck?
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71. Here. Take my card.
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72. "I am a registered
sex offender."
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73. Flip it over.
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74. see other side."
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75. Give me that.
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76. I'm the roller derby coach.
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77. See you at tryouts.
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78. I can't believe it,
you guys.
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79. This is the
biggest surprise
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80. since the last M. Night
Shyamalan movie.
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81. Two tickets for
the M. Night Shyamalan movie.
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82. Wow. Really?
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83. Hope you guys are ready
for a healthy dinner.
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84. I went to Whole Foods today
and got this recipe
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85. from an extremely thin man
with a giant Adam's apple.
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86. I hate that place.
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87. None of the cereals
are advertised on TV.
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88. What's this stuff
that looks like sand?
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89. It's quinoa.
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90. Nope, I don't eat foods that
sound like karate words.
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91. Well, according to Food Kills,
quinoa is a superfood.
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92. It's very nutritious, and it
even helps keep you regular.
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93. Lois,
I have a system:
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94. I poop once a week
for an hour and a half.
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95. I wear a headband and it's
soaked when I'm all done.
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96. Mm.
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97. Wow, Lois, you know,
this is actually pretty good.
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98. Peter, you should try it.
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99. Ugh. Fine.
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100. Peter, knock it off.
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101. I can't help it!
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102. My body's rejecting it!
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103. (dance music in the background)
Name?
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104. Quinoa.
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105. Mm-hmm.
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106. Sorry, sir, we're full.
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107. Come on in, gummy bears!
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108. Oh, you are looking
fine tonight.
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109. Mm!
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110. Thanks again for coming
and supporting me, Chris.
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111. No problem. And I'm
gonna take some pictures
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112. of the other athletes,
if you don't mind.
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113. You might not know
this about me,
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114. but I am a bit
of a shutterbug.
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115. Okay, that's-that's
all okay.
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116. All right, ladies,
line up.
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117. How about we start
with some warm-ups?
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118. Bend down and
touch your toes.
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119. "Memory card full"?
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120. Come on!
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121. Okay, now, last year
we were tricked
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122. by a couch on a dolly
with wheels,
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123. so if any of you is a couch
on a dolly with wheels,
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124. I'm gonna ask you
to please leave now.
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125. Well, we need
five for a team
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126. and there's
five of you here,
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127. so congratulations.
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128. Wow! This is awesome!
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129. I can't believe
I'm a Quahog Thug!
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130. When do we start skating?
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131. Here, look at
the schedule.
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132. This is just a list of
Sexaholic Anonymous meetings.
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133. Flip it over.
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134. It says, "Remember to
attend your meetings."
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135. I'm gonna stop
handing you stuff.
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136. It's the middle
of the night.
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137. Where are you going?
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138. I'm sick of all
this healthy crap.
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139. I'm going downstairs to
find something good to eat.
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140. And then I'm gonna fall asleep
watching transvaginal mesh
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141. lawsuit commercials.
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142. There's nothing.
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143. Thank you, son.
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144. What's going on, man,
are you pregnant?
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145. No, my wife watched
that food documentary.
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146. And you should never ask that
unless you're sure, by the way.
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147. Aw, yeah, peanut-butter-cup-
Dorito-sausage-car panini.
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148. And let's crack a Cadbury Egg
over the whole thing.
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149. (sizzling)
Just gonna use my spare
glove-compartment-underwear
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150. as a napkin.
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151. I can't believe Randy Quaid
gets to eat like this every day.
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