Family Guy 14x6

Directed by John Holmquist

Belita Moreno as Rosario Vargas (voice) • Kate McKinnon as Karen Griffin (Heavy Flo) (voice) • Sanaa Lathan as Muhammad Ali's Wife (voice) • Kevin Michael Richardson as Jack Skellington / Cleveland Brown Jr. (voice) • Dee Bradley Baker as (voice)

Peter’s sister, Karen, decides to come for Thanksgiving and bullies Peter the same way Meg treats him. While Meg is at first amused, she later feels badly and decides to help Peter train to defeat his sister in a wrestling match. Meanwhile, to avoid overeating on Thanksgiving, Stewie and Brian decide to go on a cleanse, which Stewie takes one step too far.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Hey.

2. What are you working on?

3. Oh, just trying to make some

4. sense of these numbers.

5. What the...

6. What did you hit?

7. What happened to

8. my spreadsheet?

9. What exactly was the endgame

10. if I hadn't walked in?

11. Ugh, there's nothing worse

12. than grocery shopping

13. on the day before

14. Thanksgiving.

15. Yeah, that's the sound

16. a rich family's turkey makes.

17. There's still a lot more

18. groceries in the car.

19. Well, it's not a race.

20. Take a break.

21. Ugh, if you knew

22. how close we were

23. to putting you

24. down last year.

25. Geez, what's her problem?

26. Eh, Thanksgiving's

27. exhausting.

28. You know what

29. she could use?

30. A little sip

31. of that drink I invented.

32. Hi! Stewie Griffin here,

33. with my latest creation:

34. Monster Energy Drink.

35. What is it? I don't know,

36. but it's free from this truck

37. that stopped outside your work.

38. Mix it with booze. Ever been

39. wide-awake-blacked-out?

40. Ever try to jump over

41. a train on a bike?

42. Ever bit the beak off a bird?

43. Monster Energy:

44. Put it in your body

45. and ask questions later.

46. It's green, so it's nature.

47. We now return to Guy Friends.

48. So, you must

49. be pretty pumped.

50. For what?

51. Oh. Olympics.

52. Oh, yeah. I guess

53. that's starting soon.

54. I thought you were

55. a big Olympics guy.

56. Yeah, I like 'em okay.

57. Huh.

58. Mail's here.

59. Any fliers of Hispanic women

60. running for city council?

61. Yeah, there is.

62. Thank you.

63. Peter, you got a letter

64. from your sister Karen.

65. What? You've got

66. a sister, Dad?

67. How come we've

68. never met her?

69. Is she a prim and proper

70. aunt

71. or a big, fat,

72. dirty aunt?

73. I have no obligation

74. to tell any of you anything.

75. Mr. Griffin has shown good

76. faith in appearing here today

77. and will not be subjected

78. to this sort of

79. hostile interrogation.

80. Your father doesn't like to

81. talk about his sister, Meg.

82. They've never

83. really gotten along.

84. Wow, Peter.

85. In all the years I've known you,

86. you've never even

87. mentioned a sister.

88. Big deal, I don't

89. talk about my sister.

90. I also don't talk about

91. that tickling uncle.

92. All right, Uncle Dan,

93. no tickling.

94. You got it.

95. You didn't say anything

96. about Uncle Neil.

97. Whose uncles are you?

98. It says here your sister's

99. coming for Thanksgiving.

100. She what?

101. If we're having

102. guests, can I invite

103. Rosario Vargas from

104. the third district,

105. a leader you

106. can depend on?

107. I don't want

108. Karen here.

109. Peter, you've been avoiding

110. your sister for too long.

111. Besides, she says she's been

112. having Thanksgiving

113. with your mother for

114. the last 20 years.

115. And now that your mom

116. has passed,

117. she'd like to spend

118. Thanksgiving with you.

119. No.

120. Peter, Karen's coming

121. and that's that.

122. How cool! I didn't

123. even know I had an aunt.

124. I can't wait

125. to meet her.

126. Look, I'm telling you guys,

127. it's gonna be a disaster.

128. Just like the alternate

129. ending of Back to the Future.

130. Well, if I'm gonna

131. disappear into nothing,

132. I might as well bang my mom.

133. Hey, Lorraine, wait up!

134. Hi! My name's Marty!

135. I'm in a picture!

136. To be contondered!

137. We now return to The Cosby Show,

138. knowing what we know now.

139. Huh. I was so busy

140. not seeing color,

141. I didn't see the raping, either.

142. Okay, everyone.

143. It'll be another hour

144. before the turkey's done,

145. but I made more appetizers.

146. Ooh, grape jelly on a Triscuit.

147. You're a whiz.

148. Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down.

149. Save your appetite.

150. And don't think

151. I haven't noticed

152. you've already had two drinks.

153. You're, like, all the worst

154. parts of a girlfriend.

155. Oh. That must be Karen.

156. I'll get it. Aunt Karen?

157. And you must be Meg.

158. Do that to me!

159. Wow, it's so cool that I've got

160. an aunt I didn't know about.

161. Oh, Karen, I'm so happy

162. you could make it.

163. Lois Pewterschmidt.

164. The one that got away.

165. I'm just joshing, kid.

166. Auntie's not a biscuit-bumper.

167. I'm not, either!

168. Peter, come say hello

169. to your sister.

170. Fine.

171. Hey, Karen.

172. Welcome to our...

173. Bring it in, Pee Pee!

174. I like her.

175. Hello. I am City Councilwoman

176. Rosario Vargas.

177. Quahog doesn't work if

178. it doesn't work for all of us.

179. That's a beautiful

180. pantsuit, Ms. Vargas.

181. Wow, Karen,

182. nice to meet you.

183. I'm Glenn Quagmire.

184. I didn't know

185. Peter even had a sister.

186. What are you,

187. ashamed of me, Chin Nuts?

188. Oh, my God. His chin kind

189. of does look like nuts.

190. Ha, ha! I never

191. noticed that.

192. How could you

193. not notice it?

194. Watch this,

195. I-I'll punch him in the nuts.

196. Eh, sort of clever.

197. Wait a second. I know you.

198. You're that lady wrestler.

199. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

200. he's right.

201. Hey, w-what do they

202. call you again?

203. Heavy Flo.

204. You're Heavy Flo!

205. In the flesh and blood.

206. Gross.

207. Man, you're amazing.

208. I remember when you called out

209. Andrea the Giant

210. the day after September 11.

211. What just happened was

212. a national tragedy,

213. but it's nothing compared

214. to what I'm gonna do

215. to Andrea the Giant!

216. We will never forget

217. what happened yesterday,

218. but you'll also never forget

219. what's gonna happen September 17

220. at the Jack Witschi

221. Sports Arena!

222. Peter, I can't believe you've

223. kept your sister a secret.

224. She's amazing!

225. Yeah, she's crazy strong.

226. Like Superman on a date.

227. Yeah, I wasn't here,

228. but I heard her scream,

229. so I came flying in

230. and found her like this.

231. It's weird.

232. Same cause of death

233. as those three guys

234. in that local public bathroom.

235. Unsolvable.

236. Now do you see why I didn't

237. want Karen here, Lois?

238. She terrorized me

239. my whole childhood.

240. Now she's got to embarrass

241. me in front of my friends?

242. Peter, Bonnie just

243. changed Joe on the table.

244. What are you

245. worried about?

246. Still, I don't want

247. to go back out there.

248. Look, I know

249. you've had your differences,

250. but Karen's your sister.

251. And you're grown-ups now.

252. Can't you just go out there

253. and pretend to have a good time?

254. Fine, I'll play along.

255. I guess I've lied before.

256. Where you going?

257. Home.

258. Where's home?

259. The White House.

260. Okay, I'm here.

261. This is my house.

262. You can go now.

263. Thanks for taking me home.

264. Go ahead, go inside.

265. I will.

266. You can drive away now.

267. No, no, I-I want to make

268. sure you get inside safe.

269. Yeah, but I-I got to look

270. through the mail first.

271. You know how it is.

272. Really, I insist.

273. I-It's totally okay. Go.

274. At this point, it's more

275. about me than it is you.

276. It's a bad

277. neighborhood.

278. If I don't see

279. you go inside,

280. I'll be thinking

281. about it all night.

282. Come on in,

283. Mr. President!

284. And then, so I'm like, "Peter,

285. how was I supposed to know

286. you didn't want your teammates

287. to know you wore a bra?"

288. It was a custom-designed

289. sports halter top.

290. More stories!

291. More stories!

292. Hey, tell one where

293. Peter is a nincompoop

294. or maybe a Silly Billy.

295. Oh, man.

296. Okay, let's just

297. carve the turkey.

298. Oh, Aunt Karen

299. already carved it.

300. She did?

301. But that's my thing.

302. I always do my "are you a leg

303. man or a breast man" joke.

304. Aunt Karen

305. did that, too.

306. It was hilarious.

307. I never really got it

308. until she said it.

309. Ha, ha!

310. Hey, Karen,

311. later you got to show us

312. some of your wrestling holds.

313. Yeah, what's that trademark

314. finishing move of yours?

315. The Toxic Shock.

316. Oh, yeah,

317. that move is badass!

318. You're awesome.

319. Know what else is awesome?

320. This stuffing.

321. Thank you, Glenn.

322. You're welcome.

323. I'm in a good mood.

324. Sure, what the hell,

325. I'll show you my moves.

326. Maybe after dinner.

327. No, no, no. The family

328. football game is after dinner.

329. We do it every year!

330. Peter, calm down.

331. You're making a scene.

332. It's not my fault, Lois.

333. She's ruining Thanksgiving!

334. The way Tim Burton

335. ruined the Fourth of July!

336. Fat chicks with black hair

337. get tattoos of me!

338. God, I love this time of year.

339. It's just past

340. all the amazing colors of fall,

341. and before the white of winter.

342. Just brown and gray.

343. Magical.

344. All right, let's do this.

345. All right, listen up,

346. I'm the captain.

347. The teams are chosen by a

348. lottery system where you...

349. Aunt Karen, can I

350. be on your team?

351. Yeah, yeah, me, too!

352. Uh, yeah, sure,

353. I'll take, uh,

354. Meg, Skinny,

355. Hot Chocolate and The Bus.

356. Pee Pee, you get

357. the crumbs.

358. Let's go.

359. All right, let's do it, Pop!

360. I'm gonna make some

361. sports points for you!

362. We'll kick off.

363. Hey, time-out!

364. Did anyone tape the parade?

365. Please tell me

366. someone taped the parade!

367. Oh, my God! She's

368. doing The Toxic Shock!

369. Y-Y-You're a j-jerk, K-K-Karen!

370. What the hell was that?

371. That's his stutter.

372. And whenever he stutters,

373. he usually pees his pants.

374. N-No, I... d-d-don't.

375. Oh.

376. So this is football.

377. I like it.

378. Hi, Dad.

379. Look, I-I just want you to know,

380. I feel bad about what happened

381. with you and Aunt Karen

382. the other day.

383. Oh, you mean when she put me in

384. that no-bottom James Bond chair

385. and assaulted my grundle?

386. I didn't even

387. know about that.

388. Well, that's 'cause

389. it didn't happen.

390. I'd kick her ass if she

391. tried something like that!

392. Dad, stop. Even I can see that

393. your sister's a huge bully.

394. And trust me, I know more about

395. getting bullied than anyone.

396. You do? How?

397. Man, I love that song.

398. Dad, what I'm trying

399. to tell you is,

400. I now see why you've been

401. so tough on me all these years.

402. 'Cause it makes

403. my friends laugh?

404. No, because that's how

405. Aunt Karen treated you

406. when you were a kid.

407. That's right. And that's why

408. you need to confront Karen.

409. Oh, no. Oh, no.

410. No, I can't do that.

411. I tried for years

412. to stand up to her.

413. Nothing ever worked.

414. What, so now

415. you're gonna quit?

416. You can't quit.

417. What if Muhammad Ali had quit?

418. Ah, my grandchildren!

419. Who would like me

420. to read them a book,

421. or maybe paint their name

422. on a grain of rice?

423. Honey, dinnertime!

424. Ah, my favorite.

425. Hot soup.

426. Right in there.

427. Dad, I know you can

428. stand up to Aunt Karen.

429. And maybe, if you finally do,

430. she'll stop terrorizing you,

431. and you won't have to

432. take it out on me

433. for the rest of my life.

434. You know what, Meg?

435. You're right!

436. I'm gonna do it!

437. You are?

438. Damn right!

439. Yay, Dad!

440. I am gonna become

441. a lady wrestler

442. and defeat Heavy Flo

443. in the ring.

444. Wait. What? No! What?

445. I meant go talk to her.

446. Nope, it's got to be a

447. lady wrestling match.

448. Hey, Meg,

449. Thanksgiving's over.

450. Come help me

451. with the Christmas decorations.

452. Meg! Help me with

453. the Christmas decorations!

454. Comments? Questions?

455. What the hell are you...

456. I'm sorry. Chris had

457. his hand up first.

458. Chris?

459. What's the capital

460. of Maryland?

461. I do not know, but that's

462. a very good question.

463. Now, Lois?

464. Peter, what the hell

465. are you doing?

466. First, it's not Peter.

467. When I am in this outfit,

468. I am Maxi Paddy,

469. the fiercest enemy of Heavy Flo.

470. Peter, you look—

471. okay, that's clever—

472. but, Peter,

473. you look ridiculous.

474. Take that off.

475. If you want to settle things

476. with your sister,

477. just go talk to her.

478. No, Lois, the only way to

479. settle a family dispute

480. is in the cage.

481. I mean, you don't understand.

482. Karen made me feel worse than

483. a guy getting cut

484. from a baseball team.

485. You wanted to

486. see me, Coach?

487. I'm sorry, Kyle.

488. You can't do this boring,

489. stupid thing with us.

490. All right, Peter,

491. your sister's the real deal.

492. So I arranged for you

493. to get some combat pointers

494. from my old buddy,

495. Steven Seagal.

496. Uh, this... this fat guy?

497. Yup. Go on, ask him anything.

498. How... how did...?

499. Uh, why-why you so fat?

500. Okay, ask him about

501. anything but his weight.

502. Uh...

503. uh, you act Asian,

504. you look Native American,

505. your name is possibly Jewish.

506. What are you?

507. He fat.

508. All right, Peter,

509. most professional wrestlers

510. become addicted to painkillers

511. at some point.

512. So I figure,

513. why don't we just start now?

514. Uh... okay,

515. yeah, I'm in.

516. Where you getting

517. all these?

518. Stepdaughter's purse.

519. Ain't my problem.

520. Man, I love putting my hand down

521. my pants when I'm on drugs.

522. We should just go live on a

523. boat in some guy's backyard.

524. So, you gonna do

525. that wrestling stuff?

526. Nah, I'm gonna

527. stick with these.

528. I would crime

529. for more of these.

530. Okay, now if you're gonna defeat

531. your sister in the ring,

532. you got to get to the root

533. of your fears.

534. We got to go back

535. to your childhood,

536. so I'm gonna

537. hypnotize you.

538. Okay, go back.

539. Now, we need to go

540. back in time.

541. My jeans are husky.

542. Okay, further. Further.

543. Little further.

544. Now, open your eyes

545. and tell me what you see.

546. I see the six

547. stations of the Lord's order,

548. and they will all burn!

549. Okay, too far!

550. Too far! Too far!

551. Come back. Come back.

552. Come back.

553. Hey,

554. can I make my husky jeans

555. into cutoffs

556. for swimming?

557. Ah, forget it. You're ready.

558. Yeah, Peter.

559. I think you're gonna win!

560. All right! Hey, thanks for

561. all your help, you guys.

562. You know, there's

563. only two things

564. I've wanted to do

565. my whole life:

566. put my sister in her place

567. and go to Chico's Monkey Farm.

568. Chico's Monkey Farm!

569. Now open pending how it goes.

570. And we've got quite a match

571. tonight between Heavy Flo

572. and another woman

573. whose name I've forgotten

574. but I'm sure is a gross pun.

575. Right you are, Bill.

576. Tonight, she's up against

577. Her Vajesty's Secret Cervix.

578. Interesting fact:

579. these two gals have

580. over eight meters of

581. ass crack between them.

582. One! Two! Three!

583. It's over!

584. And once again, a Heavy Flo has

585. ruined another lady's evening!

586. You ain't no champ!

587. Not till you go through me!

588. Who the hell are you?

589. I'm Maxi Paddy, which is

590. short for Maxine Patricia.

591. I was named after my father,

592. Maxwell Patrick.

593. But that's enough about me.

594. I'm here to kick your ass!

595. Get out of here!

596. I'm not fighting some fat loser

597. from the crowd.

598. Huh. It looks like

599. this Heavy Flo is pee,

600. because you're yellow!

601. Oh!

602. Well, that didn't

603. quite track,

604. but the crowd

605. seems to be on board.

606. It sure does!

607. Looks like Heavy Flo

608. has a challenger!

609. All right, get up here,

610. but make it quick.

611. I got a Lampoon

612. reunion to get to.

613. Heavy Flo, always

614. finding a way

615. to drop her Harvard degree

616. into conversation.

617. Yes, very

618. off-putting, Bill.

619. Those of us who went to Harvard

620. really don't appreciate it.

621. Ow! Damn it, Karen!

622. Karen?

623. Peter, is that you?

624. What are you doing here?

625. Something I should have done

626. a long time ago.

627. I'm tired of you bullying me!

628. You're going down!

629. Butt-scratcher?

630. Butt-scratcher!

631. D-D-D-Don't, K-K-Karen!

632. Toxic Shock! Toxic Shock!

633. Oh, my God,

634. she's taking it too far!

635. Heavy Flo is gonna break

636. this girl's arms!

637. Woman's arms.

638. Come on, Bill.

639. N-N-No!

640. Tell... Stewie...

641. he's in charge of the show now.

642. Say hello to Teen LaQueefa!

643. One! Two! Three!

644. I don't believe it!

645. Heavy Flo is down, and

646. we have a new champion!

647. I tell you, this is

648. one for the books,

649. if anyone kept track

650. of this nonsense!

651. Wow, you really

652. saved me!

653. Thanks, stranger.

654. Dad, it's me.

655. Meg?

656. It was you who saved me?

657. That's right, Dad.

658. Wow, even after all the

659. crummy stuff I've done to you?

660. But why?

661. Because you're my dad.

662. And I couldn't stand by

663. and watch you get hurt.

664. Wow. Thanks, Meg.

665. You know, that's something

666. even my own mom and dad

667. never did for me.

668. They just stood by and

669. let Karen pick on me.

670. Well, you deserve better.

671. We all do.

672. You know, Meg, I'm really sorry

673. I treated you so badly

674. over the years.

675. I guess I was taking out

676. all the pain I felt on you.

677. I understand.

678. Better than anybody.

679. But I still love you, Dad.

680. I love you, too, Meg.

681. Did somebody order

682. a hot-ass bitch and this lady?

683. Oh, you're alive.

684. Sorry, I was told

685. I was in charge now.

686. Well, if you die,

687. this is kind of

688. the creative direction

689. I'm leaning toward.

690. Well, I'm proud of you, Dad.

691. You finally stood up

692. for yourself.

693. So, Peter,

694. have you talked to Karen?

695. I called, like, four times, but

696. she's not out of the coma yet.

697. Apparently, they usually

698. use fake chairs,

699. but Meg used a real one.

700. Do they think

701. she's gonna survive?

702. It could go either way.

703. Hello?

704. No, I think I'm a

705. different blood type.

706. No, I don't

707. want to check.

708. Doctor says there's

709. nothing they can do.

710. Captioned by

711. Media Access Group at WGBH