1. that all you seeCopy !req
2. and sex on TVCopy !req
3. good old-fashioned valuesCopy !req
4. positively can doCopy !req
5. We now return toCopy !req
6. The Autistic PostmanCopy !req
7. Always Rings 400 Times.Copy !req
8. So, is everybody excitedCopy !req
9. for Father's Day on Sunday?Copy !req
10. Oh, yeah, that's right.Copy !req
11. I always try toCopy !req
12. avoid Father's Day now.Copy !req
13. Every year, I usedCopy !req
14. to take my dadCopy !req
15. to the horse track.Copy !req
16. Now we just goCopy !req
17. rooting around forCopy !req
18. bargains at the mall.Copy !req
19. Oh, this isCopy !req
20. darling, isn't it?Copy !req
21. Uh-huh.Copy !req
22. Glenn, do you thinkCopy !req
23. you'd see my braCopy !req
24. through this blouse?Copy !req
25. I don't know.Copy !req
26. Is it too sheer?Copy !req
27. I don't knowCopy !req
28. what that means.Copy !req
29. Glenn, do you thinkCopy !req
30. it's too sheer?Copy !req
31. I said I don't know!Copy !req
32. Hey, Joe, you know,Copy !req
33. come to think of it,Copy !req
34. I've met Cleveland's dad.Copy !req
35. And my dog sleptCopy !req
36. with Quagmire's dad.Copy !req
37. But I don't knowCopy !req
38. anything about your dad.Copy !req
39. Yeah, is he stillCopy !req
40. with us or is heCopy !req
41. living in HeavenCopy !req
42. with Jesus Christ?Copy !req
43. Ugh. Save that forCopy !req
44. your black friends.Copy !req
45. My dad's out thereCopy !req
46. somewhere but I haven'tCopy !req
47. spoken to him in years.Copy !req
48. What, really?Copy !req
49. Sorry, Cleveland,Copy !req
50. that was mean of me.Copy !req
51. I already forgave you.Copy !req
52. But, Joe,Copy !req
53. why haven't youCopy !req
54. seen your dad?Copy !req
55. Well, he's a good guyCopy !req
56. but we just drifted apart.Copy !req
57. It's no big deal.Copy !req
58. It's a very big deal.Copy !req
59. My dad's a stinking drunkCopy !req
60. who lives in IrelandCopy !req
61. but you gotCopy !req
62. a perfectly good dad.Copy !req
63. You can't waste that.Copy !req
64. You got to call himCopy !req
65. up for Father's Day.Copy !req
66. Peter, I don't evenCopy !req
67. know where he is.Copy !req
68. Who's ready forCopy !req
69. another beer?Copy !req
70. Hey, Cleveland, weren'tCopy !req
71. you supposed toCopy !req
72. buy the next round?Copy !req
73. That's a shame JoeCopy !req
74. never sees his dad.Copy !req
75. I know. Hey,Copy !req
76. you know what?Copy !req
77. Joe's our friend.Copy !req
78. He should be withCopy !req
79. his dad on Father's DayCopy !req
80. and we're gonnaCopy !req
81. track him down.Copy !req
82. Yeah, that'sCopy !req
83. a good idea, Peter.Copy !req
84. Well, I likeCopy !req
85. helping people out.Copy !req
86. That's why I wasCopy !req
87. such a goodCopy !req
88. break-up rodeo clown.Copy !req
89. I'm just gonna goCopy !req
90. ahead and tell you.Copy !req
91. I've been sleepingCopy !req
92. with your sister.Copy !req
93. What?Copy !req
94. Hey, now. Hey, now.Copy !req
95. Over here. Over here.Copy !req
96. Over here. Hey, now.Copy !req
97. Hey, now. Over here.Copy !req
98. Over here. Hey, now.Copy !req
99. Hey, now! Over here.Copy !req
100. Over here.Copy !req
101. Oh, and now thatCopy !req
102. I'm inside the barrel,Copy !req
103. he gave you andCopy !req
104. your sister HPV.Copy !req
105. Hey, want to seeCopy !req
106. something?Copy !req
107. Check out how hotCopy !req
108. my last patient was.Copy !req
109. Oh. They look fake.Copy !req
110. Yeah, who cares?Copy !req
111. Okay, according toCopy !req
112. this projection,Copy !req
113. Stewie's adultCopy !req
114. height will be 5'1".Copy !req
115. What?Copy !req
116. 5'1"?Copy !req
117. Wow, Dr. Hartman,Copy !req
118. that's really short.Copy !req
119. I mean, I supposeCopy !req
120. it's fine if he'sCopy !req
121. gonna die at 14.Copy !req
122. Is there anythingCopy !req
123. on there about that?Copy !req
124. Well, we learnedCopy !req
125. in medical schoolCopy !req
126. that the shortCopy !req
127. ones do go fasterCopy !req
128. because they smellCopy !req
129. more farts thanCopy !req
130. the rest of us.Copy !req
131. This is terrible!Copy !req
132. I can't be short.Copy !req
133. I'll be an outcast,Copy !req
134. like RudolphCopy !req
135. the Uncircumcised Reindeer.Copy !req
136. Look, Rudolph,Copy !req
137. it's not me, all right?Copy !req
138. It's Dasher,Copy !req
139. he's been complainingCopy !req
140. and he is the oneCopy !req
141. who has to lookCopy !req
142. at it all night.Copy !req
143. I don't know.Copy !req
144. Mrs. Claus says it'llCopy !req
145. decrease my sensitivity.Copy !req
146. I'm sorry, whyCopy !req
147. are you talking toCopy !req
148. my wife about this?Copy !req
149. Okay, you guys, it's all set.Copy !req
150. I found Joe'sCopy !req
151. dad on the InternetCopy !req
152. and he just e-mailed meCopy !req
153. to say he's coming tomorrow.Copy !req
154. All right, great,Copy !req
155. but remember, this isCopy !req
156. a surprise for Joe.Copy !req
157. Why are youCopy !req
158. looking at me?Copy !req
159. Because you'reCopy !req
160. terrible atCopy !req
161. keeping secrets.Copy !req
162. No, I'm not.Copy !req
163. I'm great at it.Copy !req
164. Like when I wasCopy !req
165. an OB/GYN.Copy !req
166. Well, I got the resultsCopy !req
167. of your ultrasound andCopy !req
168. I got some news for you.Copy !req
169. Wait, wait, wait.Copy !req
170. We don't wanna knowCopy !req
171. if it's a boy or a girl.Copy !req
172. Oh, okay. Well,Copy !req
173. "it's" not breathing.Copy !req
174. Hey, guys.Copy !req
175. So, Joe,Copy !req
176. big day tomorrow, huh?Copy !req
177. Father's Day.Copy !req
178. Gonna be home all day,Copy !req
179. especially at 11:30 a.m.?Copy !req
180. Peter.Copy !req
181. What? I didn't sayCopy !req
182. anything about his dad.Copy !req
183. My dad?Copy !req
184. What about my dad?Copy !req
185. Well, now that QuagmireCopy !req
186. ruined the surprise,Copy !req
187. we found your dad!Copy !req
188. You what?Copy !req
189. That's right. He's comingCopy !req
190. tomorrow for Father's Day.Copy !req
191. You shouldn't haveCopy !req
192. done that, Peter.Copy !req
193. My father's not gonnaCopy !req
194. be happy to see me.Copy !req
195. Sure he will.Copy !req
196. Just get him one ofCopy !req
197. them Father's Day cardsCopy !req
198. what plays a song.Copy !req
199. Dad to the Bone.Copy !req
200. I'm Dad.Copy !req
201. Pretty much anythingCopy !req
202. with "bad,"Copy !req
203. you turn it to "dad."Copy !req
204. Wait, why wouldn'tCopy !req
205. your dad be happy?Copy !req
206. What, is he a jerkCopy !req
207. or something?Copy !req
208. No, it's just thatCopy !req
209. ever sinceCopy !req
210. I was a little kid,Copy !req
211. he was constantlyCopy !req
212. making fun ofCopy !req
213. handicapped people.Copy !req
214. Really?Copy !req
215. Yeah, my whole life,Copy !req
216. my dad would ridiculeCopy !req
217. anyone in a wheelchair.Copy !req
218. It was all,Copy !req
219. "Hey, spaghetti legs."Copy !req
220. And, "Hey, rigatoni legs."Copy !req
221. And, "Hey, angel-hair legs."Copy !req
222. He was a salesCopy !req
223. manager at Ronzoni.Copy !req
224. Wow, then it mustCopy !req
225. have been hardCopy !req
226. for him to accept whenCopy !req
227. you were paralyzed.Copy !req
228. That's just it.Copy !req
229. My dad doesn't knowCopy !req
230. I'm handicapped.Copy !req
231. I never told him.Copy !req
232. I never...Copy !req
233. I never told him!Copy !req
234. Aw, Joe, don't cry.Copy !req
235. It's gonna makeCopy !req
236. me cry.Copy !req
237. I cry like Snoopy.Copy !req
238. I can't believeCopy !req
239. you invited my fatherCopy !req
240. without telling me.Copy !req
241. You guys got toCopy !req
242. get in touch with himCopy !req
243. and tell him not to come.Copy !req
244. It's too late, Joe,Copy !req
245. he's already on his way.Copy !req
246. He is?Copy !req
247. Yeah, we got himCopy !req
248. tickets on KAYAK. It isCopy !req
249. a nightmare itinerary.Copy !req
250. It was, like, 80 bucks,Copy !req
251. but he has four stops.Copy !req
252. Two of themCopy !req
253. are in Houston.Copy !req
254. What am I gonna do?Copy !req
255. My dad hasCopy !req
256. no idea I'm paralyzed.Copy !req
257. Well, there's onlyCopy !req
258. one thing we can do.Copy !req
259. We'll just figure outCopy !req
260. a way to hide yourCopy !req
261. handicap from your dad.Copy !req
262. Hide the factCopy !req
263. that I can't walk?Copy !req
264. Peter, that'll never work.Copy !req
265. It's worth a try.Copy !req
266. Come on, Joe,Copy !req
267. don't be so negative.Copy !req
268. You're likeCopy !req
269. a Boston fortune cookie.Copy !req
270. "I don't know, numbnuts.Copy !req
271. "Maybe buy a garageCopy !req
272. and fill it withCopy !req
273. hockey equipment."Copy !req
274. Huh. Well, let's see whatCopy !req
275. my lucky numbers are.Copy !req
276. "Screw you, math dick."Copy !req
277. Well, that wasn'tCopy !req
278. very helpful at all.Copy !req
279. Here you go, Stewie.Copy !req
280. I know clothes shoppingCopy !req
281. always cheers you up.Copy !req
282. I can't believe I'mCopy !req
283. only going to be 5'1".Copy !req
284. Oh, come on, look atCopy !req
285. the bright side.Copy !req
286. You'll be in the front rowCopy !req
287. of every class picture.Copy !req
288. Holding thatCopy !req
289. little plaque.Copy !req
290. You suck. Why don't you goCopy !req
291. drink out of the fountain?Copy !req
292. I'll text youCopy !req
293. when I'm done.Copy !req
294. I know you'reCopy !req
295. trying to be rude,Copy !req
296. but I am gonnaCopy !req
297. do that, becauseCopy !req
298. I find it enjoyable.Copy !req
299. Excuse me,Copy !req
300. I was looking at this.Copy !req
301. Sorry, I've made a decisionCopy !req
302. to go for that shirtCopy !req
303. and when thatCopy !req
304. happens, it is on.Copy !req
305. Full throttle, man.Copy !req
306. Pow!Copy !req
307. Wow, you'reCopy !req
308. an energeticCopy !req
309. little fellow.Copy !req
310. I guess your mommyCopy !req
311. lets you drinkCopy !req
312. coffee, huh?Copy !req
313. Whoa, whoa, I don't putCopy !req
314. stimulants in my body.Copy !req
315. You know something?Copy !req
316. You kind ofCopy !req
317. remind me of Tom Cruise.Copy !req
318. Boom!Copy !req
319. You got me, man.Copy !req
320. Wow, Tom Cruise!Copy !req
321. You look, um, biggerCopy !req
322. in the movies.Copy !req
323. What are youCopy !req
324. doing here?Copy !req
325. Oh, I get all my clothesCopy !req
326. from out-of-the-wayCopy !req
327. toddler stores.Copy !req
328. Ooh. You wantCopy !req
329. an animal cracker?Copy !req
330. Sure, you gotCopy !req
331. a lion in there?Copy !req
332. Oh, no, I eat those first.Copy !req
333. I believe eatingCopy !req
334. the lions gives me power.Copy !req
335. Yeah, I hear you believeCopy !req
336. in a lot of crazy stuff.Copy !req
337. What'd you get there,Copy !req
338. a giraffe?Copy !req
339. Yeah.Copy !req
340. Good, good.Copy !req
341. It's good for eyesight.Copy !req
342. Well, you'reCopy !req
343. certainly upbeat.Copy !req
344. Let me ask you,Copy !req
345. doesn't it bother youCopy !req
346. being an adult manCopy !req
347. who's that short?Copy !req
348. 'Cause the doctor saysCopy !req
349. that's where I'm headed.Copy !req
350. Oh, no way, man.Copy !req
351. The middle of theCopy !req
352. word "short" is "or."Copy !req
353. "Or" gives you a choice.Copy !req
354. And I chooseCopy !req
355. not to be short.Copy !req
356. Wow, you needCopy !req
357. a road map for that one.Copy !req
358. Hey, hey, I'll tellCopy !req
359. you what. You spendCopy !req
360. the day with me,Copy !req
361. you'll see howCopy !req
362. great it is to be short.Copy !req
363. You'll feel like you'reCopy !req
364. discovering a new world.Copy !req
365. And you know what'sCopy !req
366. in the middle ofCopy !req
367. the word "world"?Copy !req
368. Um... "Or"?Copy !req
369. Yes! The dotsCopy !req
370. have appeared, man,Copy !req
371. let's connect them!Copy !req
372. You're a weirdoCopy !req
373. but let's do this.Copy !req
374. All right,Copy !req
375. check it out, Bonnie.Copy !req
376. This is how we'reCopy !req
377. gonna fool Joe's dad.Copy !req
378. Oh, my God.Copy !req
379. Yeah, looks real, right?Copy !req
380. I put this pair of pantsCopy !req
381. on the frontCopy !req
382. legs of this horseCopy !req
383. and strapped JoeCopy !req
384. to the front withCopy !req
385. his legs tied behindCopy !req
386. the horse's neck.Copy !req
387. And then we putCopy !req
388. Cinnamon's head upCopy !req
389. the back of Joe's shirtCopy !req
390. and simply hid theCopy !req
391. rest of the horseCopy !req
392. behind this curtain.Copy !req
393. His breath isCopy !req
394. very moist, Peter.Copy !req
395. And to induce movement,Copy !req
396. I'm gonna snapCopy !req
397. the horse's ballsCopy !req
398. with this dampenedCopy !req
399. kitchen towel.Copy !req
400. Ah! Oh, my God!Copy !req
401. Holy crap,Copy !req
402. he's out of control!Copy !req
403. Does it look real?Copy !req
404. Plan B! Plan B!Copy !req
405. Peter, I'm afraidCopy !req
406. this is hopeless.Copy !req
407. Look, I don't knowCopy !req
408. what else to do.Copy !req
409. I mean, we're not gonnaCopy !req
410. come up with somethingCopy !req
411. better than the horse.Copy !req
412. Yeah, I guess you'reCopy !req
413. just gonna haveCopy !req
414. to tell your dadCopy !req
415. about your handicap.Copy !req
416. I can't do that.Copy !req
417. If you guysCopy !req
418. were in my shoes,Copy !req
419. you'd understand.Copy !req
420. Wait a minute, that's it!Copy !req
421. I will get in your shoes.Copy !req
422. I'll just pretendCopy !req
423. to be you.Copy !req
424. I mean, your dadCopy !req
425. ain't seen you in years.Copy !req
426. He won't know the difference.Copy !req
427. What? That's crazy.Copy !req
428. Boy, that was a close call.Copy !req
429. Is some of this room cold?Copy !req
430. All right, Peter,Copy !req
431. almost done.Copy !req
432. Huh? Huh?Copy !req
433. Uh, kind of.Copy !req
434. Yeah.Copy !req
435. I don't care.Copy !req
436. Peter, I don't knowCopy !req
437. about this. It seemsCopy !req
438. like a bad idea.Copy !req
439. Look, Lois, Joe isCopy !req
440. one of myCopy !req
441. best friends, all right?Copy !req
442. I'm only doingCopy !req
443. this to help him.Copy !req
444. Besides, wait tillCopy !req
445. you hear my Joe voice.Copy !req
446. Oh, God, I hateCopy !req
447. being stuck in this chair.Copy !req
448. No, Peter,Copy !req
449. that fights it.Copy !req
450. Plus, there's alsoCopy !req
451. a lot of personal stuffCopy !req
452. about me that onlyCopy !req
453. my dad would know.Copy !req
454. Relax, Joe, we justCopy !req
455. got to fool himCopy !req
456. for a couple days.Copy !req
457. And besides, Bonnie's beenCopy !req
458. coaching me all afternoon.Copy !req
459. You went toCopy !req
460. William WindsorCopy !req
461. Elementary School.Copy !req
462. Your favorite pieCopy !req
463. is rhubarb.Copy !req
464. And... And, uh...Copy !req
465. Oh, man,Copy !req
466. I'm drawing a blank.Copy !req
467. No, no. That's allCopy !req
468. there is, you got it.Copy !req
469. gonna get my loveCopy !req
470. Oh, yes, you do nowCopy !req
471. than every star aboveCopy !req
472. make me cryCopy !req
473. That's Bud.Copy !req
474. Are you ready, Peter?Copy !req
475. I think so.Copy !req
476. What do you think,Copy !req
477. acting coach?Copy !req
478. I think you willCopy !req
479. be exemplary, Peter.Copy !req
480. All good acting coachesCopy !req
481. are insane old ladies.Copy !req
482. Emote!Copy !req
483. Hi, Bud.Copy !req
484. Hi, Joe's dad.Copy !req
485. I mean, Dad. Joe...Copy !req
486. I'm Joe. You're my dad.Copy !req
487. Joe? Wow, I guessCopy !req
488. it really hasCopy !req
489. been a long time.Copy !req
490. I barely recognize you.Copy !req
491. Put on a little weight,Copy !req
492. haven't you?Copy !req
493. Well, I could sayCopy !req
494. the same for you.Copy !req
495. Sometimes I don'tCopy !req
496. understandCopy !req
497. why people laugh.Copy !req
498. Hey, what do you sayCopy !req
499. we grab some dinner.Copy !req
500. And I'll spend a lotCopy !req
501. of time telling youCopy !req
502. a nonsense storyCopy !req
503. where the date isCopy !req
504. really importantCopy !req
505. for some reason.Copy !req
506. So, I'm there with Mark.Copy !req
507. Must've beenCopy !req
508. May 5th, 1959.Copy !req
509. No, no, no, couldn'tCopy !req
510. have been May.Copy !req
511. I wasn't withCopy !req
512. your mother then.Copy !req
513. But it wasCopy !req
514. after college.Copy !req
515. Or it could'veCopy !req
516. been during the timeCopy !req
517. we took a break.Copy !req
518. No, no, no,Copy !req
519. because I hadn't met...Copy !req
520. Had I met Ron yet?Copy !req
521. I was driving a ChryslerCopy !req
522. then, I know that.Copy !req
523. It could've been July.Copy !req
524. Pick a date, any date!Copy !req
525. I will believe you!Copy !req
526. September 7th.Copy !req
527. No, that's notCopy !req
528. sounding right.Copy !req
529. All right,Copy !req
530. everyone in the car.Copy !req
531. We got a Father's DayCopy !req
532. dinner reservation.Copy !req
533. Why is Mr. SwansonCopy !req
534. coming?Copy !req
535. And why is heCopy !req
536. dressed like Dad?Copy !req
537. I don't know, kids.Copy !req
538. I stopped askingCopy !req
539. after your fatherCopy !req
540. said he shot a horse.Copy !req
541. Thanks for the ride-along.Copy !req
542. I liked when youCopy !req
543. sentenced those two girlsCopy !req
544. to kiss each other.Copy !req
545. Yeah, all girls areCopy !req
546. lesbians when youCopy !req
547. point a gun at them.Copy !req
548. Boy, it's been greatCopy !req
549. spending timeCopy !req
550. with you, son.Copy !req
551. It's been great spendingCopy !req
552. time with you, too, Dad.Copy !req
553. Oh, this'll be fun.Copy !req
554. Let's see howCopy !req
555. long it takes themCopy !req
556. to get Gumby overCopy !req
557. there into the car.Copy !req
558. Yeah, that's ourCopy !req
559. neighbor,Copy !req
560. Peter Griffin.Copy !req
561. That's the guyCopy !req
562. who e-mailed me?Copy !req
563. Huh. No wonderCopy !req
564. it was all capsCopy !req
565. with tons of typos.Copy !req
566. He's a water head,Copy !req
567. right?Copy !req
568. Yeah, he's a mess.Copy !req
569. Look at his ugly kids.Copy !req
570. Pathetic.Copy !req
571. He's not fitting. JustCopy !req
572. put some of him inCopy !req
573. the back like skis.Copy !req
574. Hey, Stewie.Copy !req
575. What's up?Copy !req
576. When you say it likeCopy !req
577. that, you sound justCopy !req
578. like Tom Cruise.Copy !req
579. What?Copy !req
580. Oh, yeah,Copy !req
581. I've been hangingCopy !req
582. with Tom Cruise.Copy !req
583. You've been hangingCopy !req
584. out with Tom Cruise?Copy !req
585. Sure have. We spentCopy !req
586. the whole day togetherCopy !req
587. and he showed me there'sCopy !req
588. a lot of advantagesCopy !req
589. to being short.Copy !req
590. Oh, yeah? Like what?Copy !req
591. You're the last oneCopy !req
592. to get wet when it rains?Copy !req
593. Well, yeah, that.Copy !req
594. And you can chowCopy !req
595. pie standing up.Copy !req
596. We didn't do any ofCopy !req
597. that but the point is,Copy !req
598. I'm at peaceCopy !req
599. with being short.Copy !req
600. Full throttle, man! Pow!Copy !req
601. Hello? Oh, hi,Copy !req
602. Dr. Hartman.Copy !req
603. Mrs. Griffin, I haveCopy !req
604. some good news.Copy !req
605. Turns out your son isCopy !req
606. going to be normal height.Copy !req
607. I read his chartCopy !req
608. wrong yesterday.Copy !req
609. Apparently,Copy !req
610. I have somethingCopy !req
611. called "dislooxia"?Copy !req
612. That was the doctor.Copy !req
613. Apparently,Copy !req
614. Stewie's not gonnaCopy !req
615. be short after all.Copy !req
616. What? Really?Copy !req
617. That's wonderful news!Copy !req
618. Oh, I'm so relievedCopy !req
619. my child is sparedCopy !req
620. some heartache.Copy !req
621. Now, come on, Brian,Copy !req
622. I guess we shouldCopy !req
623. try to make it overCopy !req
624. to Meg's birthday party.Copy !req
625. Could I have some breadCopy !req
626. while I open my presents?Copy !req
627. At this point,Copy !req
628. we're gonna have to startCopy !req
629. charging you for the bread.Copy !req
630. Hey, Stewie!Copy !req
631. You want to check outCopy !req
632. the go-kart I usedCopy !req
633. in Days of Thunder?Copy !req
634. Yeah, listen, um...Copy !req
635. I just found out I'mCopy !req
636. actually going to be tall,Copy !req
637. so I'm no longerCopy !req
638. comfortable hanging outCopy !req
639. with someoneCopy !req
640. whose teeth areCopy !req
641. bigger thanCopy !req
642. their fingers.Copy !req
643. What? That's...Copy !req
644. That's barely true.Copy !req
645. Yeah, so...Copy !req
646. See you later.Copy !req
647. You are makingCopy !req
648. a big mistake, Stewie!Copy !req
649. Nobody walks awayCopy !req
650. from Tiny Tom Cruise!Copy !req
651. Yeah, except for allCopy !req
652. three of your wives.Copy !req
653. Okay, I'm shuttingCopy !req
654. this now.Copy !req
655. Okay, so... Bye!Copy !req
656. So now, since I switchedCopy !req
657. to disposable catheters,Copy !req
658. I no longerCopy !req
659. have those beet-redCopy !req
660. infections in my urethra.Copy !req
661. Oh, no. I hopeCopy !req
662. it's not genetic.Copy !req
663. Chris, he's notCopy !req
664. our dad.Copy !req
665. I can't keep upCopy !req
666. with this ruse.Copy !req
667. Hey, everybody!Copy !req
668. Peter, finally,Copy !req
669. you're home.Copy !req
670. How's it going overCopy !req
671. there with my dad?Copy !req
672. Awesome. He fellCopy !req
673. for the whole thing.Copy !req
674. In fact, we've beenCopy !req
675. having a great time!Copy !req
676. Wow, that'sCopy !req
677. terrific, Peter!Copy !req
678. You'll onlyCopy !req
679. have to pull it offCopy !req
680. for a few more hours.Copy !req
681. Then he'll be onCopy !req
682. a plane tomorrowCopy !req
683. and I can go home.Copy !req
684. Oh, that's theCopy !req
685. other good news.Copy !req
686. Bud's not leaving!Copy !req
687. I told him he can move inCopy !req
688. with me and Bonnie.Copy !req
689. What?Copy !req
690. Peter, this is crazy.Copy !req
691. No, it's gonnaCopy !req
692. work out fine.Copy !req
693. Oh, and remember,Copy !req
694. Joe, if Lois isCopy !req
695. feeling frisky at night,Copy !req
696. it's index fingerCopy !req
697. around and clockwise.Copy !req
698. And just keepCopy !req
699. doing that to yourselfCopy !req
700. until you're good to go.Copy !req
701. Peter, this is ridiculous.Copy !req
702. You can't live inCopy !req
703. my house with myCopy !req
704. dad and my family!Copy !req
705. Your dad got meCopy !req
706. super clean in the tub.Copy !req
707. Joe's right, thisCopy !req
708. is idiotic. WhatCopy !req
709. are you thinking?Copy !req
710. I'll tell youCopy !req
711. what I'm thinking.Copy !req
712. I'm thinking thatCopy !req
713. I've had two dadsCopy !req
714. and neither oneCopy !req
715. cared for meCopy !req
716. as much as Bud does.Copy !req
717. Peter, I've had enoughCopy !req
718. of this. You can'tCopy !req
719. just take my dad!Copy !req
720. Well, he's rightCopy !req
721. next door.Copy !req
722. Nothing's stopping youCopy !req
723. from going over thereCopy !req
724. and telling him the truth.Copy !req
725. That his son isCopy !req
726. a paraplegic who'sCopy !req
727. stuck in a wheelchair.Copy !req
728. You knowCopy !req
729. I can't do that.Copy !req
730. Suit yourself.Copy !req
731. But I got to go.Copy !req
732. Me and Bud are having a blast.Copy !req
733. I'm sorry, Joe.Copy !req
734. Are you okay?Copy !req
735. Not really.Copy !req
736. I'll be honest, Lois.Copy !req
737. This hurts.Copy !req
738. Hurts like the Dickens.Copy !req
739. I've finishedCopy !req
740. my latest novel.Copy !req
741. Splendid, Charles.Copy !req
742. What is it called?Copy !req
743. Oliver Nipple-Twist.Copy !req
744. Ow! Oh, Charles,Copy !req
745. you bastard!Copy !req
746. Yeah! The Dickens!Copy !req
747. It hurts like the me!Copy !req
748. So, anyone going toCopy !req
749. the gerbil'sCopy !req
750. funeral on Friday?Copy !req
751. Okay, kids.Copy !req
752. Everyone in a circleCopy !req
753. for parachute time.Copy !req
754. Oh, goodie,Copy !req
755. I love parachute time!Copy !req
756. Wee!Copy !req
757. Wee!Copy !req
758. Wee!Copy !req
759. What the hell?Copy !req
760. That kid looked likeCopy !req
761. Tiny Tom Cruise.Copy !req
762. Wee!Copy !req
763. Huh. Must've beenCopy !req
764. my imagination.Copy !req
765. If you think you'reCopy !req
766. getting away from me,Copy !req
767. you've got a crazyCopy !req
768. laugh coming, friend.Copy !req
769. (CONTINUES LAUGHINGCopy !req
770. MANIACALLY)Copy !req
771. Hey, what are youCopy !req
772. doing home so early?Copy !req
773. He's following me, Brian!Copy !req
774. Who's following you?Copy !req
775. Tom Cruise!Copy !req
776. I spend one afternoonCopy !req
777. with the guyCopy !req
778. and it's like I signedCopy !req
779. an eight-year contract toCopy !req
780. show up at events with himCopy !req
781. and let himCopy !req
782. fake-father a child.Copy !req
783. Stewie, I would thinkCopy !req
784. Tom CruiseCopy !req
785. has better things to doCopy !req
786. than follow you around.Copy !req
787. Oh, really?Copy !req
788. Well, explain that!Copy !req
789. You know, it's timesCopy !req
790. like this where I think,Copy !req
791. if I didn't talk andCopy !req
792. you were a normal baby,Copy !req
793. we wouldn't haveCopy !req
794. any of these problems.Copy !req
795. You got to help meCopy !req
796. get rid of him, Brian!Copy !req
797. He's creepier thanCopy !req
798. that guy at the gymCopy !req
799. who just doesCopy !req
800. karate in the mirror.Copy !req
801. It's me. The guy's me.Copy !req
802. I'm a gym karate creep.Copy !req
803. I'm pretty good, too.Copy !req
804. But relax.Copy !req
805. If I wanted you dead,Copy !req
806. you'd be dead.Copy !req
807. Hey, Dad,Copy !req
808. what do you sayCopy !req
809. we go play catch?Copy !req
810. And throw meCopy !req
811. some divers.Copy !req
812. I want to getCopy !req
813. grass stains onCopy !req
814. my school slacks.Copy !req
815. What? You're a grown man.Copy !req
816. I know, it's just soCopy !req
817. great having a dad.Copy !req
818. Well, it's nice havingCopy !req
819. reconnected with you, too.Copy !req
820. All right,Copy !req
821. let's do it.Copy !req
822. Oh, for God's sake.Copy !req
823. See, a guy like thatCopy !req
824. should just stay insideCopy !req
825. so we don't haveCopy !req
826. to look at him.Copy !req
827. Joe, go over thereCopy !req
828. and tell him toCopy !req
829. get back in his house.Copy !req
830. Don't worry,Copy !req
831. I'll take care of it.Copy !req
832. Joe, you got to go inside.Copy !req
833. You're upsetting my dad.Copy !req
834. Your dad?Copy !req
835. That's right!Copy !req
836. He loves me in a way that...Copy !req
837. Oh, you guys had pizza?Copy !req
838. Screw you, Peter!Copy !req
839. You know what?Copy !req
840. This is over!Copy !req
841. Whoa, whoa, whoa.Copy !req
842. Not a chance.Copy !req
843. I like your house better.Copy !req
844. I got nothing to hold ontoCopy !req
845. when I poop at home.Copy !req
846. You have no ideaCopy !req
847. how many shower curtainsCopy !req
848. I've ripped down.Copy !req
849. Now get inside.Copy !req
850. No, I'm notCopy !req
851. gonna do that.Copy !req
852. Oh, yes, you are!Copy !req
853. Get away from me,Copy !req
854. you son of a bitch!Copy !req
855. Ow! What the hell?Copy !req
856. Joe, don't takeCopy !req
857. that from him!Copy !req
858. How do you like that?Copy !req
859. You're getting yourCopy !req
860. ass kicked by a cripple!Copy !req
861. A helpless,Copy !req
862. spaghetti-legged cripple!Copy !req
863. What are you doing?Copy !req
864. You're my son!Copy !req
865. You can't letCopy !req
866. yourself get beat upCopy !req
867. by a guy in a wheelchair!Copy !req
868. Your son is a guyCopy !req
869. in a wheelchair.Copy !req
870. What are youCopy !req
871. talking about?Copy !req
872. Yes. Yes, Dad. It's me.Copy !req
873. Joe! What the hellCopy !req
874. happened to you?Copy !req
875. I was shot inCopy !req
876. the line of duty.Copy !req
877. "Line of duty."Copy !req
878. So, this is whyCopy !req
879. you haven't called meCopy !req
880. in all these years?Copy !req
881. How could I, Dad?Copy !req
882. You always made funCopy !req
883. of handicapped people.Copy !req
884. The only thing I neverCopy !req
885. understood was why?Copy !req
886. I don't know.Copy !req
887. I guess I couldCopy !req
888. never stand the thoughtCopy !req
889. of something likeCopy !req
890. that happening to me.Copy !req
891. Or even worse,Copy !req
892. to someoneCopy !req
893. that I care about.Copy !req
894. One time, my legs fellCopy !req
895. asleep on the toilet.Copy !req
896. I had to crawlCopy !req
897. into the living roomCopy !req
898. and interruptCopy !req
899. Lois's book club.Copy !req
900. That was one ofCopy !req
901. the shower curtainsCopy !req
902. I ripped down.Copy !req
903. And I suppose,Copy !req
904. deep down, I was afraid.Copy !req
905. Afraid that if it didCopy !req
906. happen, I wouldn't beCopy !req
907. strong enough to handle it.Copy !req
908. Well, Dad, I canCopy !req
909. tell you from experienceCopy !req
910. it's only when yourCopy !req
911. worst fears come trueCopy !req
912. that you get to find outCopy !req
913. how strong you really are.Copy !req
914. Then I guess I've gotCopy !req
915. some learning to do.Copy !req
916. I love you, son.Copy !req
917. I love you, too, Dad.Copy !req
918. I love you, too, Dad.Copy !req
919. Hey, Joe, uh,Copy !req
920. just one question.Copy !req
921. Why do you have all thoseCopy !req
922. Wizard of Oz plates?Copy !req
923. Because if I finishCopy !req
924. my vegetables,Copy !req
925. I get to seeCopy !req
926. the Yellow Brick Road.Copy !req
927. All right,Copy !req
928. you sold me.Copy !req
929. All right, Brian.Copy !req
930. Tiny Tom CruiseCopy !req
931. is somewhere close.Copy !req
932. I can sense hisCopy !req
933. manic energy.Copy !req
934. You remember the plan?Copy !req
935. Yup, I got it.Copy !req
936. Help, help! My dogCopy !req
937. got off his leash!Copy !req
938. Is there anyoneCopy !req
939. who can doCopy !req
940. a pumpy-arm run?Copy !req
941. Running, running,Copy !req
942. running, run!Copy !req
943. Hey, Stewie.Copy !req
944. I'm here to help youCopy !req
945. for the next billion years.Copy !req
946. All right,Copy !req
947. good to know.Copy !req
948. Anyway, my dog ranCopy !req
949. around those bushes.Copy !req
950. I am on it!Copy !req
951. Gotcha!Copy !req
952. All right, off toCopy !req
953. Zappos with him.Copy !req
954. You sure this isCopy !req
955. gonna work?Copy !req
956. Oh, yeah. They'llCopy !req
957. accept any returns.Copy !req
958. We don't evenCopy !req
959. have to pay postage.Copy !req
960. Hello, friend.Copy !req
961. Your life isCopy !req
962. about to change.Copy !req
963. Hey, Tom. It's beenCopy !req
964. a couple of weeks.Copy !req
965. Hey, listen, Joe.Copy !req
966. I'm sorry I treatedCopy !req
967. you like such a jerk.Copy !req
968. Well, that's okay,Copy !req
969. Peter.Copy !req
970. In fact, I got to say,Copy !req
971. it was a niceCopy !req
972. thing you did.Copy !req
973. I'm glad I reconnectedCopy !req
974. with my dad afterCopy !req
975. all these years.Copy !req
976. It was my pleasure.Copy !req
977. There's no moreCopy !req
978. importantCopy !req
979. relationship than...Copy !req
980. I'm sorry, Cleveland,Copy !req
981. what the hell is thatCopy !req
982. Toronto Raptors hat?Copy !req
983. It was myCopy !req
984. Father's Day present.Copy !req
985. I hate it. I'm justCopy !req
986. gonna wear it for a week,Copy !req
987. then say I lost it.Copy !req
988. Anyway, thanks forCopy !req
989. helping me, Peter.Copy !req
990. Yeah, it all worked outCopy !req
991. great, Joe.Copy !req
992. Except I am still missingCopy !req
993. that one pair of pants.Copy !req
994. Excuse me, are thoseCopy !req
995. Bugle Boy jeans?Copy !req