1. that all you seeCopy !req
2. and sex on TVCopy !req
3. good old-fashioned valuesCopy !req
4. positively can doCopy !req
5. that make usCopy !req
6. Ah, cool, somebody putCopy !req
7. Billy Joel on the jukebox.Copy !req
8. Billy Joel?Copy !req
9. This is Daft Punk.Copy !req
10. Dappunk? What is that?Copy !req
11. That's not even words.Copy !req
12. What are you saying?Copy !req
13. This is Billy Joel.Copy !req
14. It's Anthony's Song,Copy !req
15. parentheses, Movin' Out.Copy !req
16. First of all, it's Movin' Out,Copy !req
17. parentheses, Anthony's Song.Copy !req
18. And second of all,Copy !req
19. this is 100% not Billy Joel!Copy !req
20. You know,Copy !req
21. when they recordedCopy !req
22. Movin' Out,Copy !req
23. someone leftCopy !req
24. the studio doors open,Copy !req
25. and that's why, at the end,Copy !req
26. you hear that car sound.Copy !req
27. That's not true either!Copy !req
28. No, this is it.Copy !req
29. He's talking aboutCopy !req
30. going all around the world,Copy !req
31. 'cause this Anthony fella,Copy !req
32. he's moving out.Copy !req
33. You know, to liveCopy !req
34. with Mr. CacciatoreCopy !req
35. down on Mulberry Street.Copy !req
36. And, that's all I'm gonna sayCopy !req
37. about those two.Copy !req
38. Peter, I'm gonnaCopy !req
39. punch you with this beer mugCopy !req
40. till I'm holdingCopy !req
41. just the handle!Copy !req
42. Guys, calm down.Copy !req
43. There's one wayCopy !req
44. to solve this.Copy !req
45. I'll just use my phone.Copy !req
46. It says Around the WorldCopy !req
47. by Daft Punk.Copy !req
48. Thank you!Copy !req
49. God, you idiotsCopy !req
50. are exhausting.Copy !req
51. Hey, Cleveland,Copy !req
52. how'd you do thatCopy !req
53. with your phone?Copy !req
54. I'm not an idiot.Copy !req
55. I used Shazam.Copy !req
56. It recognizes songsCopy !req
57. and tells you their names.Copy !req
58. Yeah? Hey,Copy !req
59. what if I farted into it?Copy !req
60. I don't know. Be my guest.Copy !req
61. It says "Lana Del Rey."Copy !req
62. How do I get thisCopy !req
63. on my phone?Copy !req
64. You just download it.Copy !req
65. It's a app.Copy !req
66. What's an app?Copy !req
67. They're little programsCopy !req
68. you use on yourCopy !req
69. phone while driving.Copy !req
70. Oh, man, apps sound awesome!Copy !req
71. This is a real game-changer!Copy !req
72. Like the guy who inventedCopy !req
73. wearing a sportCopy !req
74. jacket with jeans.Copy !req
75. So, what can I do for you?Copy !req
76. Well,Copy !req
77. I've got to go to church,Copy !req
78. but I don't have timeCopy !req
79. to change from the rodeo.Copy !req
80. Excuse me,Copy !req
81. I thought you wereCopy !req
82. helping me find a lookCopy !req
83. that'll let me clingCopy !req
84. to my youth in my 40s.Copy !req
85. Yes, I'm interestedCopy !req
86. in cheating on my wifeCopy !req
87. in Las Vegas.Copy !req
88. Gentlemen, I thinkCopy !req
89. I can helpCopy !req
90. all three of you.Copy !req
91. Brian, I'm in a bind.Copy !req
92. Joanne was supposedCopy !req
93. to drive me to the club,Copy !req
94. but she's havingCopy !req
95. throat surgery.Copy !req
96. Twenty yearsCopy !req
97. of menthol slims.Copy !req
98. I don't understandCopy !req
99. anything you just said.Copy !req
100. Just drive me toCopy !req
101. the racquet club.Copy !req
102. Since when do youCopy !req
103. belong to a racquet club?Copy !req
104. You know, I do have a lifeCopy !req
105. outside this house.Copy !req
106. For example, I also writeCopy !req
107. restaurant reviewsCopy !req
108. for the newspaperCopy !req
109. under the nameCopy !req
110. Hugh Cornwallis.Copy !req
111. Hugh Cornwallis?Copy !req
112. He's like...Copy !req
113. Super bitchy, I know.Copy !req
114. Now come on, let's go.Copy !req
115. So, what? You're gonnaCopy !req
116. play tennis all day?Copy !req
117. No, I might alsoCopy !req
118. hit the treadmillCopy !req
119. and watch KellyCopy !req
120. and Michael on muteCopy !req
121. with closed captioning.Copy !req
122. Kelly,Copy !req
123. "It's like kale is everywhereCopy !req
124. these days, am I right?"Copy !req
125. Michael, "Unintelligible."Copy !req
126. I love them.Copy !req
127. They have suchCopy !req
128. an amazing chemistry.Copy !req
129. Yeah!Copy !req
130. Awesome!Copy !req
131. Peter, will youCopy !req
132. keep it down?Copy !req
133. I'm trying to look atCopy !req
134. lamps I'll never buy.Copy !req
135. Oh, yeah, sorry.Copy !req
136. Sweet!Copy !req
137. What are you doing?Copy !req
138. Well, I just found outCopy !req
139. about theseCopy !req
140. things called apps,Copy !req
141. so, that's,Copy !req
142. kind of, all I do now.Copy !req
143. This one's a coolCopy !req
144. bowling app I got.Copy !req
145. Oh, yeah, strike!Copy !req
146. Peter, your phone'sCopy !req
147. streaming to the TV.Copy !req
148. You're clearlyCopy !req
149. watching porn.Copy !req
150. Will you turn it off?Copy !req
151. I'm already caught, Lois.Copy !req
152. I'm gonna finish.Copy !req
153. Peter, I'm...Copy !req
154. I'm gonna finish!Copy !req
155. Just go over there!Copy !req
156. We're gonna be fine,Copy !req
157. Lois, you and me.Copy !req
158. There you are, Dad.Copy !req
159. Where have you been?Copy !req
160. I haven't seen you in days.Copy !req
161. Oh, I went out of townCopy !req
162. for a little while,Copy !req
163. but I made the mistakeCopy !req
164. of using this appCopy !req
165. called Bear B&B.Copy !req
166. We're so happyCopy !req
167. you're staying with us.Copy !req
168. Just a reminder,Copy !req
169. we ask that you not useCopy !req
170. the DVD player,Copy !req
171. but you can watchCopy !req
172. any of the VHSs.Copy !req
173. We have ClearCopy !req
174. and Present Danger,Copy !req
175. Son of the Mask...Copy !req
176. Oh, and,Copy !req
177. here's most of a puzzle.Copy !req
178. Okay, well, I don'tCopy !req
179. want any of that stuff.Copy !req
180. Fine.Copy !req
181. Well, if the phone ringsCopy !req
182. and we're not around,Copy !req
183. just take a message.Copy !req
184. I'm, kind of, on vacation.Copy !req
185. Oh, and just a heads up,Copy !req
186. the dog doesn't like men.Copy !req
187. Now, we serve breakfastCopy !req
188. from 6:00 a.m. to 7:00 a.m.Copy !req
189. I'll skip breakfast.Copy !req
190. Uh, everyone eats breakfast.Copy !req
191. I'm on vacation.Copy !req
192. All the more reasonCopy !req
193. to treat yourself.Copy !req
194. The house specialtyCopy !req
195. is a half-chewed troutCopy !req
196. we yanked out ofCopy !req
197. the river with our teeth.Copy !req
198. Ah, there's the bear stuff.Copy !req
199. Where are you going?Copy !req
200. Oh, I'm meeting upCopy !req
201. with someoneCopy !req
202. from my Grindr app.Copy !req
203. Isn't that forCopy !req
204. anonymous gay hookups?Copy !req
205. No, no, no.Copy !req
206. This one's a way for guysCopy !req
207. who enjoyCopy !req
208. sandwiches to connect.Copy !req
209. You Meatball-freak?Copy !req
210. Uh-huh.Copy !req
211. All right,Copy !req
212. let's do this.Copy !req
213. Are you also married?Copy !req
214. My phone's broken.Copy !req
215. I'm not surprised.Copy !req
216. It's, probably, becauseCopy !req
217. of all those appsCopy !req
218. you've been downloading.Copy !req
219. Don't say appsCopy !req
220. like you're young.Copy !req
221. No, I took it inCopy !req
222. the shower 'causeCopy !req
223. I didn't know youCopy !req
224. could pause a game.Copy !req
225. Here, Chris.Copy !req
226. Your first cell phone!Copy !req
227. Yay! Something my dadCopy !req
228. held in the bathroom!Copy !req
229. You know, Chris,Copy !req
230. you could probablyCopy !req
231. salvage that phone.Copy !req
232. If you put it inCopy !req
233. a bag of uncooked rice,Copy !req
234. it'll dry out.Copy !req
235. Really?Copy !req
236. Yeah.Copy !req
237. And then,Copy !req
238. you can use the riceCopy !req
239. to pretend someoneCopy !req
240. wanted to marry you.Copy !req
241. Ladies and gentlemen,Copy !req
242. Mr. and Mrs. DogCopy !req
243. and Meg the Bounty Hunter!Copy !req
244. Holy moley! Marcy Miller!Copy !req
245. She bought feminine productsCopy !req
246. at my dad's pharmacy,Copy !req
247. so, you knowCopy !req
248. she's up and running.Copy !req
249. Yeah, I wish I hadCopy !req
250. the guts to talk to her.Copy !req
251. Talk to her?Copy !req
252. Chris, no one talksCopy !req
253. to each other anymore.Copy !req
254. If you want to getCopy !req
255. a girl's attention,Copy !req
256. you text herCopy !req
257. a picture of your penis.Copy !req
258. What? Really?Copy !req
259. Are... Are you sure?Copy !req
260. Oh, yeah. People whoCopy !req
261. send their daughtersCopy !req
262. to public high schoolsCopy !req
263. are basicallyCopy !req
264. asking for this.Copy !req
265. Well, I did justCopy !req
266. get this new phoneCopy !req
267. from my dad.Copy !req
268. All right,Copy !req
269. what could go wrong?Copy !req
270. It worked out great for...Copy !req
271. Ah, this is it, Bri.Copy !req
272. The Quahog Racquet Club.Copy !req
273. Where frail old menCopy !req
274. come to weighCopy !req
275. themselves in the nude.Copy !req
276. Does that say 84 or 85?Copy !req
277. It says 63.Copy !req
278. Oh, dear.Copy !req
279. How'd you getCopy !req
280. all those cutsCopy !req
281. on your butt?Copy !req
282. Wow, they allow drinking hereCopy !req
283. at 10:30 in the morning?Copy !req
284. Oh, yes,Copy !req
285. half the bathroom trashCopy !req
286. is thrown-up scrambled eggs.Copy !req
287. Okay, so this place hasCopy !req
288. hot women, morning boozeCopy !req
289. and free vomit?Copy !req
290. Maybe I'll join you.Copy !req
291. You don't play tennis.Copy !req
292. What are you talking about?Copy !req
293. I'm a great tennis player.Copy !req
294. You are? Well, that's perfect.Copy !req
295. There's a doublesCopy !req
296. tournament coming upCopy !req
297. and I couldCopy !req
298. really use a partner.Copy !req
299. Well, you found him.Copy !req
300. All right, all right,Copy !req
301. I suppose we canCopy !req
302. make this work.Copy !req
303. Like that actressCopy !req
304. from Rizzoli & IslesCopy !req
305. and her husband do.Copy !req
306. Honey, I thought we couldCopy !req
307. do a littleCopy !req
308. role-playing tonight.Copy !req
309. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
310. What'd you have in mind?Copy !req
311. Maybe I could beCopy !req
312. my character from the show.Copy !req
313. Oh, yeah!Copy !req
314. From the show! Sure.Copy !req
315. Um... Oh, no! It's the lawCopy !req
316. enforcement woman.Copy !req
317. Part of that great teamCopy !req
318. of Rizzoli and Isles.Copy !req
319. You don't know whatCopy !req
320. part I play, do you?Copy !req
321. Hey, look,Copy !req
322. you didn't marry meCopy !req
323. because of my brains.Copy !req
324. You married me because I playCopy !req
325. one of the main badCopy !req
326. guys in Blue Bloods.Copy !req
327. Now, let's just stop talkingCopy !req
328. and have idiot actor sex.Copy !req
329. Thank you for coming,Copy !req
330. Mr. and Mrs. Griffin.Copy !req
331. We've got a bitCopy !req
332. of a situation,Copy !req
333. which is whyCopy !req
334. I've asked OfficerCopy !req
335. Swanson to join us.Copy !req
336. It appears Chris sentCopy !req
337. an inappropriateCopy !req
338. photo of himselfCopy !req
339. to one of his classmates.Copy !req
340. That's right.Copy !req
341. He textedCopy !req
342. a picture of his peenie.Copy !req
343. Oh, my God!Copy !req
344. And apparently, the girl...Copy !req
345. Oh, thank God.Copy !req
346. he sent it toCopy !req
347. doesn't like him back,Copy !req
348. so she turned him in.Copy !req
349. Okay,Copy !req
350. I can see everybody's mad,Copy !req
351. but what'd you think?Copy !req
352. Thank you for bringing thisCopy !req
353. to our attention,Copy !req
354. Principal Shepherd.Copy !req
355. We'll make sureCopy !req
356. Chris apologizesCopy !req
357. to that little knob-tease.Copy !req
358. I'm sorry, Lois,Copy !req
359. but it's not that simple.Copy !req
360. When Chris sent that picture,Copy !req
361. he was technicallyCopy !req
362. distributingCopy !req
363. child pornography.Copy !req
364. Child pornography?Copy !req
365. Joe, that's crazy!Copy !req
366. He's just a teenagerCopy !req
367. who made a bad choice.Copy !req
368. I don't know what to say,Copy !req
369. but the laws justCopy !req
370. haven't caught upCopy !req
371. to how cool kids are now.Copy !req
372. I'm sorry,Copy !req
373. but this makesCopy !req
374. Chris a sex offender.Copy !req
375. Oh, my God!Copy !req
376. HuhCopy !req
377. Well, I'm not about toCopy !req
378. make a Batman exit right now,Copy !req
379. but, has that thingCopy !req
380. always been over there?Copy !req
381. Over where?Copy !req
382. What are you doing, Peter?Copy !req
383. Ah, you looked back too fast.Copy !req
384. Good afternoon,Copy !req
385. I'm Tom Tucker.Copy !req
386. Today, we bring youCopy !req
387. a disturbing caseCopy !req
388. of child pornography.Copy !req
389. Local teenage scumbag,Copy !req
390. Chris Griffin,Copy !req
391. whose name willCopy !req
392. be omitted here,Copy !req
393. was caught sending,Copy !req
394. quote-unquote,Copy !req
395. graphic selfies of his hog.Copy !req
396. Not sure whereCopy !req
397. that quote is from.Copy !req
398. To another underage student.Copy !req
399. Coming up next,Copy !req
400. teleprompter guyCopy !req
401. puts the period in a weird.Copy !req
402. Place.Copy !req
403. Oh, this is awful.Copy !req
404. Now everyone in townCopy !req
405. knows I'm a sex offender!Copy !req
406. We know you didn'tCopy !req
407. mean any harm, Chris.Copy !req
408. We're just livingCopy !req
409. in a different time.Copy !req
410. When I was your age,Copy !req
411. boys used to justCopy !req
412. whip it out on the bus.Copy !req
413. Can't I just go on the newsCopy !req
414. and tell everyone I'm sorry?Copy !req
415. Oh, I wish you could, sweetie,Copy !req
416. but the law says that,Copy !req
417. as a sex offender,Copy !req
418. you have to completeCopy !req
419. a rehabilitation course.Copy !req
420. Oh, that sounds awful.Copy !req
421. Can't be any worseCopy !req
422. than our trip to Hawaii.Copy !req
423. Okay, before you doCopy !req
424. anything else,Copy !req
425. I'm deathly allergicCopy !req
426. to pineapple, pork, rum,Copy !req
427. macadamia nuts,Copy !req
428. stupid tiny guitars,Copy !req
429. overpriced golf,Copy !req
430. sentimental military stuff,Copy !req
431. lava, people whoCopy !req
432. I can't tell areCopy !req
433. black or Asian,Copy !req
434. apostrophes,Copy !req
435. anyone twirling flames,Copy !req
436. second weddingsCopy !req
437. and linen pants.Copy !req
438. Is there anythingCopy !req
439. you're not allergic to?Copy !req
440. Yeah, the Epcot Center,Copy !req
441. where I wanted to go.Copy !req
442. Good evening,Copy !req
443. I'm Glenn Quagmire,Copy !req
444. your instructor.Copy !req
445. Everyone look to your left.Copy !req
446. Now look to your right.Copy !req
447. All of you are sex offenders.Copy !req
448. And, statistically,Copy !req
449. you will all be here again.Copy !req
450. Because, this has never workedCopy !req
451. in the history of doing this.Copy !req
452. Now, today,Copy !req
453. we have a new member.Copy !req
454. Giggity. Chris G.Copy !req
455. Hi, Chris.Copy !req
456. All right, before we begin,Copy !req
457. whoever's drivingCopy !req
458. a windowless vanCopy !req
459. painted likeCopy !req
460. an ice cream truck,Copy !req
461. your lights are on.Copy !req
462. Okay, next,Copy !req
463. let's take a few minutesCopy !req
464. to talk aboutCopy !req
465. our new fake interests.Copy !req
466. Here's a clay pot I made.Copy !req
467. I've started followingCopy !req
468. girls' field hockey.Copy !req
469. No, come on.Copy !req
470. You're supposed toCopy !req
471. pick from the list.Copy !req
472. Mr. Quagmire,Copy !req
473. this is terrible.Copy !req
474. And, do I reallyCopy !req
475. have to be here?Copy !req
476. Well, the law doesCopy !req
477. give you a choice.Copy !req
478. This or chemical castration.Copy !req
479. What's that?Copy !req
480. You take a ton of pillsCopy !req
481. that completelyCopy !req
482. wipe out all sexuality.Copy !req
483. Oh, is that whatCopy !req
484. Michael Moore did?Copy !req
485. No, but I understandCopy !req
486. why you'd think that.Copy !req
487. Now,Copy !req
488. do you want to see the list?Copy !req
489. I could take a whackCopy !req
490. at hand-distressing furniture.Copy !req
491. We don't say whack.Copy !req
492. Very good, Stewie.Copy !req
493. You grunt likeCopy !req
494. a Hungarian lesbian.Copy !req
495. Thanks, Dimitri.Copy !req
496. And, your testicle'sCopy !req
497. hanging out ofCopy !req
498. your shorts again.Copy !req
499. I am cooling it.Copy !req
500. But, where is thisCopy !req
501. partner of yours?Copy !req
502. I don't know.Copy !req
503. He was supposed toCopy !req
504. be here 15 minutes ago.Copy !req
505. You're right.Copy !req
506. So, anyway, my ex said,Copy !req
507. "If you bring homeCopy !req
508. one more tennis trophy,Copy !req
509. "I am out of here."Copy !req
510. Well,Copy !req
511. she was gone in two days.Copy !req
512. Oh, Brian.Copy !req
513. O'Brien?Copy !req
514. Well, that's my Irish cousin.Copy !req
515. What are you doing?Copy !req
516. We're supposed to beCopy !req
517. practicing for the tournament.Copy !req
518. Stewie, relax.Copy !req
519. I promise we'll practice,Copy !req
520. but we just ordered bisque.Copy !req
521. How are you payingCopy !req
522. for that?Copy !req
523. Well, if you must know,Copy !req
524. we're putting itCopy !req
525. on Philippa'sCopy !req
526. husband's account.Copy !req
527. Does Burt know about this?Copy !req
528. He would if he wasn'tCopy !req
529. working all the time.Copy !req
530. Thank you, Brian.Copy !req
531. Now, come on,Copy !req
532. let's have more hard liquorCopy !req
533. and creamy soups.Copy !req
534. Meg, can you handCopy !req
535. me the paper plates?Copy !req
536. I can't believeCopy !req
537. we're having an ice cream cakeCopy !req
538. to celebrate Chris graduatingCopy !req
539. from sex offender school.Copy !req
540. Well, the opportunitiesCopy !req
541. to celebrateCopy !req
542. don't come oftenCopy !req
543. in this household.Copy !req
544. There he is, Mr.Copy !req
545. Former Sex Offender.Copy !req
546. Mom, it's not that big a deal.Copy !req
547. All I did was finishCopy !req
548. those creepy classes.Copy !req
549. I know,Copy !req
550. but now your record is clear.Copy !req
551. You can go back toCopy !req
552. being a normal boyCopy !req
553. and put all this behind you.Copy !req
554. Hey, Chris, wait tillCopy !req
555. you see the funny thingCopy !req
556. I had 'em put on your cake.Copy !req
557. "Happy sixth birthday, Timmy"?Copy !req
558. Oh-oh! They must haveCopy !req
559. mixed them up.Copy !req
560. "Nice crank,Copy !req
561. you dirty little bastard"?Copy !req
562. Sorry, I'll take that.Copy !req
563. Here's your cake.Copy !req
564. I ate a great deal of it.Copy !req
565. Oh, there you are.Copy !req
566. How was your firstCopy !req
567. day out of rehab?Copy !req
568. It was terrible.Copy !req
569. Taking that classCopy !req
570. made no difference.Copy !req
571. Nobody wantsCopy !req
572. anything to do with me.Copy !req
573. Hi, Mr. Herbert.Copy !req
574. Oh, my God.Copy !req
575. Children, run!Copy !req
576. It's that pervert!Copy !req
577. Everybody into myCopy !req
578. safety basement!Copy !req
579. Oh, that was a bad snap.Copy !req
580. I'm hurt, kids!Copy !req
581. Don't eat those popsiclesCopy !req
582. till I get down there!Copy !req
583. Well, I'm gladCopy !req
584. we're finallyCopy !req
585. getting some practice in.Copy !req
586. Yeah,Copy !req
587. nothing like running aroundCopy !req
588. after eating a seafood tower.Copy !req
589. What are you doing here?Copy !req
590. You're supposed toCopy !req
591. be at the baseline.Copy !req
592. Yeah, baseline, baseline.Copy !req
593. Right, right.Copy !req
594. He's serving to you.Copy !req
595. Get back there!Copy !req
596. You've neverCopy !req
597. played tennis, have you?Copy !req
598. Not once.Copy !req
599. Damn it, Brian!Copy !req
600. I entered us inCopy !req
601. that tournamentCopy !req
602. because you saidCopy !req
603. you could play!Copy !req
604. And I will not be humiliatedCopy !req
605. in front of shallow,Copy !req
606. rich alcoholics!Copy !req
607. Hey, Chris.Copy !req
608. I see you walkedCopy !req
609. across the grass againCopy !req
610. instead of using the walk.Copy !req
611. You're reallyCopy !req
612. wearing a path, aren't you?Copy !req
613. We call that Chris's Trail.Copy !req
614. Right there.Copy !req
615. Chris's Trail.Copy !req
616. Mr. Quagmire,Copy !req
617. I completed that sex rehabCopy !req
618. and I paid my debt to society,Copy !req
619. but people areCopy !req
620. still afraid of me,Copy !req
621. like I'm some kind of creep.Copy !req
622. How do I get them to treat meCopy !req
623. the way they didCopy !req
624. before all this happened?Copy !req
625. You can't.Copy !req
626. I'm sorry, Chris,Copy !req
627. but you're just gonnaCopy !req
628. have to acceptCopy !req
629. that from now onCopy !req
630. people are gonna see youCopy !req
631. as a sex-crazed pervert.Copy !req
632. And there's nothingCopy !req
633. you can do to change that.Copy !req
634. Wait a minute, maybe there is.Copy !req
635. Thanks, Mr. Quagmire.Copy !req
636. No problem, Chris.Copy !req
637. You keep that chin up.Copy !req
638. Huh?Copy !req
639. I will. Hey, can I ringCopy !req
640. your doorbell?Copy !req
641. No, I'd rather you...Copy !req
642. That's why, "No," Chris.Copy !req
643. That's why, "No."Copy !req
644. Chris? What the hellCopy !req
645. happened to you?Copy !req
646. Mother, Father, I decidedCopy !req
647. to have myselfCopy !req
648. chemically castrated.Copy !req
649. Why the hellCopy !req
650. would you do that?Copy !req
651. Now, nobody will haveCopy !req
652. any reasonCopy !req
653. to be afraid of meCopy !req
654. or think I'm a pervert.Copy !req
655. And everybodyCopy !req
656. can just treat meCopy !req
657. like normal again.Copy !req
658. Oh, my God, I can't believeCopy !req
659. my son's some kind of weirdo!Copy !req
660. Oh, here comesCopy !req
661. another sandwich.Copy !req
662. I can't even look at you.Copy !req
663. Has anyone seen my sandals?Copy !req
664. Yeah, no,Copy !req
665. nobody's seen your sandals.Copy !req
666. Well, I'll just haveCopy !req
667. to make another pair.Copy !req
668. Look, Chris, I knowCopy !req
669. you think chemical castrationCopy !req
670. is gonna solve your problems,Copy !req
671. but you have to stopCopy !req
672. taking those pills.Copy !req
673. I don't have to do anything,Copy !req
674. besides get toCopy !req
675. the wind chime storeCopy !req
676. before it closes.Copy !req
677. There can't be a whole store.Copy !req
678. To be fair,Copy !req
679. they also haveCopy !req
680. a couple of kaleidoscopes.Copy !req
681. Can I come?Copy !req
682. Lois, can I go toCopy !req
683. the store with that thing?Copy !req
684. Splendid.Copy !req
685. I'll go get my burlap wallet.Copy !req
686. We rolledCopy !req
687. three gutter ballsCopy !req
688. on these kids, huh?Copy !req
689. My word, Brian,Copy !req
690. you're really improving.Copy !req
691. We might actuallyCopy !req
692. win this thing.Copy !req
693. Thanks.Copy !req
694. You know, I just pretendCopy !req
695. that tennis ballCopy !req
696. is Mitch McConnellCopy !req
697. trying to roll back subsidiesCopy !req
698. on the Affordable Care Act,Copy !req
699. then I'm, like, "Nope!"Copy !req
700. Yeah, I don't...Copy !req
701. I don't need toCopy !req
702. hear your process.Copy !req
703. Look, I'm just happyCopy !req
704. you pushed me,Copy !req
705. 'cause nowCopy !req
706. I can't wait forCopy !req
707. that tournament.Copy !req
708. I know,Copy !req
709. it's gonna be great.Copy !req
710. And, I already know exactlyCopy !req
711. where I'm gonnaCopy !req
712. put that trophy.Copy !req
713. So, the baby died?Copy !req
714. Yeah, the baby died.Copy !req
715. But, look, first place.Copy !req
716. Chris, your mother and ICopy !req
717. want you to stopCopy !req
718. taking them pills.Copy !req
719. There's a lot of great thingsCopy !req
720. about having a sex driveCopy !req
721. that you're missing out on.Copy !req
722. Like what?Copy !req
723. Well,Copy !req
724. there's the post-orgy mealsCopy !req
725. at a swingers party.Copy !req
726. Come on, let's eatCopy !req
727. with these wonderful people.Copy !req
728. Hey, everybody,Copy !req
729. try my wife's ambrosia.Copy !req
730. If you liked my wife's snizz,Copy !req
731. you're gonnaCopy !req
732. love her ambrosia.Copy !req
733. I was thinking aboutCopy !req
734. this seven-layer dipCopy !req
735. the whole timeCopy !req
736. I was chowing Ronald.Copy !req
737. I don't like this.Copy !req
738. I want to go home.Copy !req
739. You know what's sad?Copy !req
740. There's hardlyCopy !req
741. any otherCopy !req
742. fathers and sons here.Copy !req
743. I don't know, Lois.Copy !req
744. I just don't thinkCopy !req
745. Chris is gonnaCopy !req
746. change his mind.Copy !req
747. I know.Copy !req
748. It's only a matter of timeCopy !req
749. before he shavesCopy !req
750. one side of his headCopy !req
751. and swoopsCopy !req
752. the rest of the hair over.Copy !req
753. Why, is that is that bad?Copy !req
754. Good early evening,Copy !req
755. everyone.Copy !req
756. I have celebratory news.Copy !req
757. With all the free timeCopy !req
758. I'm no longerCopy !req
759. devoting to onanism...Copy !req
760. That's spanking it?Copy !req
761. Yes, Peter.Copy !req
762. I have managed toCopy !req
763. redirect that energyCopy !req
764. into my studies.Copy !req
765. In fact, today I receivedCopy !req
766. the Kaplan Prize in biology.Copy !req
767. Chris,Copy !req
768. that's great!Copy !req
769. Not only that,Copy !req
770. I got the highest scoreCopy !req
771. on my Spanish test,Copy !req
772. and I even joinedCopy !req
773. the debate team.Copy !req
774. That's amazing!Copy !req
775. All right, well,Copy !req
776. I'm gonna put some flowersCopy !req
777. in a wagon andCopy !req
778. walk around town.Copy !req
779. You know what, Peter?Copy !req
780. Maybe there's a silverCopy !req
781. lining to this fiasco.Copy !req
782. Not thinkingCopy !req
783. about sex all the timeCopy !req
784. seems to have allowed ChrisCopy !req
785. to excel in other areas.Copy !req
786. He does seem sharper.Copy !req
787. Heck, the old ChrisCopy !req
788. couldn't even figure outCopy !req
789. the self-checkoutCopy !req
790. at the supermarket.Copy !req
791. Please place the itemCopy !req
792. in the bagging area.Copy !req
793. Please remove the itemCopy !req
794. from the bagging area.Copy !req
795. Please take a plastic bagCopy !req
796. from the bagging area.Copy !req
797. Please putCopy !req
798. the bag over your headCopy !req
799. and tighten.Copy !req
800. I told youCopy !req
801. I could make him do it.Copy !req
802. That's hardcore, man.Copy !req
803. You're hardcore.Copy !req
804. All right, Brian,Copy !req
805. we win this set,Copy !req
806. the tournament's ours.Copy !req
807. Yeah, come on,Copy !req
808. let's do this.Copy !req
809. I can alreadyCopy !req
810. see our names inCopy !req
811. the newsletter,Copy !req
812. right below the deathsCopy !req
813. from the previous quarter.Copy !req
814. Out.Copy !req
815. What?Copy !req
816. Your ball was long.Copy !req
817. Are you me shitting me?Copy !req
818. That thing was in!Copy !req
819. You're gonnaCopy !req
820. penalize us because you'reCopy !req
821. a blind fucking blueCopy !req
822. jacket piece of shit?Copy !req
823. Stewie, calm down.Copy !req
824. I will drop you toCopy !req
825. your knees and shoveCopy !req
826. my racket so farCopy !req
827. down your throat,Copy !req
828. you'll be shittingCopy !req
829. my grip for a week!Copy !req
830. Warning, Mr. Griffin.Copy !req
831. Oh, you're warning me?Copy !req
832. I'm warning you!Copy !req
833. I'm gonna go to your houseCopy !req
834. and fuck your wife!Copy !req
835. You proud of yourself,Copy !req
836. tennis club security guard?Copy !req
837. Your kids look up to you?Copy !req
838. Big man throwingCopy !req
839. out a baby and a dog.Copy !req
840. Tough guy.Copy !req
841. Maybe I'll see you laterCopy !req
842. when you don'tCopy !req
843. have that name tag on.Copy !req
844. I thoughtCopy !req
845. your shot was in.Copy !req
846. Oh, hey, pound it, dude.Copy !req
847. So, to findCopy !req
848. the area of this circleCopy !req
849. we're going to need to use pi,Copy !req
850. whose digits go on forever.Copy !req
851. Can you imagineCopy !req
852. if our pie was endless?Copy !req
853. We'd all beCopy !req
854. changing our belt sizes.Copy !req
855. Thanks, Chris.Copy !req
856. Wow, that wasCopy !req
857. really something.Copy !req
858. Marcy?Copy !req
859. I had no ideaCopy !req
860. you were suchCopy !req
861. an amazing tutor.Copy !req
862. And, I really likeCopy !req
863. your pendant.Copy !req
864. Thanks, but,Copy !req
865. why are youCopy !req
866. being so nice to me?Copy !req
867. You got me in soCopy !req
868. much trouble before.Copy !req
869. Yeah, I'm really sorryCopy !req
870. about that.Copy !req
871. That was just my dumb,Copy !req
872. overprotective dad.Copy !req
873. Really?Copy !req
874. Yeah.Copy !req
875. He took my phoneCopy !req
876. to look atCopy !req
877. pictures of my friends,Copy !req
878. and he found the oneCopy !req
879. you sent.Copy !req
880. I bet that caughtCopy !req
881. him by surprise.Copy !req
882. Definitely.Copy !req
883. Well, I hope you knowCopy !req
884. that's not who I am anymore.Copy !req
885. I do, and I hopeCopy !req
886. I didn't cause youCopy !req
887. too much trouble.Copy !req
888. This is not a drill!Copy !req
889. I repeat, not a drill!Copy !req
890. Good to be back doingCopy !req
891. this again, huh, Bill?Copy !req
892. What, shoveling coalCopy !req
893. into a penis?Copy !req
894. I was sleeping.Copy !req
895. What's happening?Copy !req
896. I don't know.Copy !req
897. Someone...Copy !req
898. Someone get meCopy !req
899. nude art books!Copy !req
900. I need nude art books!Copy !req
901. Oh, good, Chris.Copy !req
902. You can hangCopy !req
903. this New York TimesCopy !req
904. back on...Copy !req
905. Oh! A pee-pee!Copy !req
906. Well, Chris,Copy !req
907. you killedCopy !req
908. that librarian,Copy !req
909. but we're gladCopy !req
910. to have you backCopy !req
911. to your old self.Copy !req
912. Mrs. Lapardo workedCopy !req
913. at that schoolCopy !req
914. for 54 years.Copy !req
915. Well, at least she sawCopy !req
916. a little wang beforeCopy !req
917. taking that dirt nap.Copy !req
918. Thanks, you guys.Copy !req
919. I guess chemical castrationCopy !req
920. isn't for everyone.Copy !req
921. Is that...Copy !req
922. Is that the lessonCopy !req
923. for this week?Copy !req
924. Uh, I guess, it's thatCopy !req
925. or be kinder onCopy !req
926. the tennis court.Copy !req
927. Where have you been?Copy !req