Family Guy 14x10

Directed by Joseph Lee

Margaret Cho as Hee-Sun (voice) • Sung Kang as Soap Opera Actor (voice) • Ashton Kutcher as Ashton Kutcher • C.S. Lee as Soap Opera Actor (voice) • Kat Purgal as Girl in Commercial (voice)

Peter, Cleveland and Joe come across a VHS tape called “Winter/Summer” an Asian soap opera that Quagmire starred in when he was living in Korea. Unable to find the final episode of the series, the guys travel to Korea to find it and Quagmire is reunited with his old lover. Meanwhile, Stewie worries he might become a redhead.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. that all you see

2. and sex on TV

3. good old-fashioned values

4. positively can do

5. Where are you going?

6. I'm going to Quagmire's

7. to get some hand-me-downs.

8. His dad-mom sent

9. over some boxes

10. of men's clothes

11. from back before the old

12. chippety-choppety.

13. Ugh. You shouldn't wear

14. people's old, dirty clothes.

15. Well, I'm a dirty guy, Lois.

16. Haven't you ever

17. seen my naughty,

18. late night, party-line

19. commercials?

20. Hey, are you lonely?

21. Do you like to party

22. with hot girls?

23. What about horsing

24. around with fat guys?

25. Well, what are you

26. waiting for?

27. Give us a call.

28. I'll be on the toilet,

29. wearing a T-shirt

30. that's so long

31. I have to hold it

32. under my chin

33. while I wipe.

34. Wow. Your dad doesn't use

35. this dickey anymore?

36. That's crazy.

37. Why would anyone get rid

38. of a perfectly good dickey?

39. I see what you're doing,

40. and cut it out.

41. Hey, what are these?

42. Oh, my God. I haven't

43. seen these in years.

44. What do you got there?

45. Some kind of home movie

46. from the Orient?

47. No, no, this is

48. Winter Summer.

49. It was a Korean soap

50. opera that I was in.

51. You were in

52. a Korean soap opera?

53. Yeah, back when

54. the Navy had me

55. stationed in Busan.

56. I saw an ad in

57. the paper for

58. guys over 5'4",

59. and I was the only

60. one who showed up.

61. Next thing I know,

62. I'm on TV, playing a guy

63. named American Johnny.

64. Wow, I didn't even

65. know you could act.

66. You also didn't know

67. I was a rock polisher.

68. Take a look at that.

69. Oh, my! What is that?

70. That's tiger eye.

71. Extraordinary.

72. American Johnny, put your

73. cellular phone away now.

74. Office hours are now over.

75. You are now bringing down

76. everyone's mood now.

77. Wow, Shin.

78. That new female work person from

79. work has beauty that is

80. beautiful.

81. Only in her appearance,

82. Deep down inside of herself,

83. she is all fire inside.

84. Hello, magnificence.

85. I am rock and roll.

86. Holy crap, Quagmire,

87. you speak Korean?

88. No, not really.

89. They just told me

90. how to sound the

91. words out phonetically.

92. So, you never knew

93. what you were

94. actually saying?

95. No. In fact,

96. at the height

97. of the show,

98. I did a whole

99. pro-genital mutilation

100. PSA that I really regret.

101. Wow, that girl's hot.

102. That's a guy.

103. That other guy's handsome.

104. That's a girl.

105. That cat is cute.

106. That's a dog.

107. What is everything?

108. Oh, my God,

109. if Hee-Sun and Bong-Hwa

110. don't get together,

111. I'm gonna kill myself!

112. You're crazy.

113. Bong-Hwa is completely

114. dishonorable.

115. He brought

116. a personal item

117. to work.

118. Kiss me, Bong-Hwa.

119. Your kiss will please me.

120. Oh, my God!

121. No way!

122. I told you!

123. I told you!

124. Wow, I guess

125. he didn't die in the

126. vending machine.

127. What? It's over?

128. Should we put in

129. the next one?

130. Of course, we should.

131. We are binge watching

132. this whole show.

133. I mean, I haven't

134. been this into

135. something since

136. The Shawshank Redemption.

137. Yes, um, after you

138. escaped into the hole,

139. how did you

140. perfectly reattach

141. the Raquel Welch poster

142. from inside the hole

143. with a tautness that

144. a rock could pierce?

145. Does it really matter?

146. It does to me.

147. Did you even

148. like the movie?

149. I did very much up

150. until that point.

151. Whoa!

152. Sadness and anguish combined!

153. Oh, my God!

154. Quagmire, give me

155. the last tape.

156. Huh. Sorry, guys.

157. There are no more tapes.

158. What?

159. Where's the last one?

160. He's right.

161. Oh, my God!

162. What do we do?

163. Quagmire,

164. tell us what happened.

165. Did Hee-Sun live

166. to have the baby?

167. Did Kim secure a position

168. at the hydroelectric plant?

169. I don't know,

170. I don't remember.

171. How can you

172. not remember?

173. It was 20 years ago.

174. We shot out of order.

175. I never even knew

176. what I was saying.

177. I didn't care.

178. I was living the life.

179. Just banging chicks

180. and eating cabbage.

181. Oh, crap, what do we

182. do about our show?

183. Now I know

184. how that German

185. movie producer felt.

186. All right, Friedrich,

187. now that World War II is over,

188. we can get back to

189. making comedies again.

190. Get me these

191. comedy writers.

192. Uh, I don't think

193. any of these guys

194. are available.

195. What? This is terrible.

196. Get me my agent!

197. He's probably not

198. gonna answer either.

199. Well, this is crazy!

200. What happened?

201. Oh, I remember

202. what happened.

203. That episode's

204. not online anywhere.

205. I even tried

206. the Korean search

207. engine, Bing Bong.

208. That's not real.

209. All right, it's not.

210. But, Quagmire,

211. we need that episode.

212. We gotta know

213. what happened.

214. Guys, I'm sorry,

215. but it was years ago,

216. and it never

217. aired outside Korea.

218. So, we go to Korea.

219. Yes.

220. Buying tickets.

221. Come on, guys,

222. it's just a dumb,

223. forgotten TV show.

224. Quagmire, we have

225. to know how

226. Winter Summerends.

227. This show is our

228. whole life now.

229. Yeah, if we

230. don't find that tape,

231. we're screwed.

232. Like anybody who

233. goes scuba diving

234. with Dave Navarro.

235. All right, gang,

236. me and the guys

237. are off to Korea

238. to find the last episode

239. of a soap opera

240. Quagmire was in.

241. Peter, this is ridiculous.

242. What am I supposed

243. to do if work calls?

244. Just do what I do.

245. Hold the phone up

246. to any episode

247. of Who's the Boss?

248. Griffin, it's been four days.

249. Why haven't you come to work?

250. Angela?

251. Of course, it's me.

252. You know, I've got

253. half a mind to fire you.

254. Angela.

255. Oh, I can't stay mad at you.

256. I'll see you when I see you.

257. Man, Epcot nailed Asia.

258. American Johnny.

259. American Johnny!

260. American Johnny!

261. Holy crap, Quagmire,

262. you're famous here.

263. It's American Johnny.

264. American Johnny is back.

265. I take a picture with

266. giant Samsung phone.

267. Giant Samsung phone

268. is also tiny Kia car!

269. American Johnny.

270. American Johnny.

271. Welcome, American Johnny.

272. We give only

273. best room for you.

274. Would you like smoking

275. or chain smoking?

276. Oh. Smoking, I guess?

277. Yes.

278. And how many ridiculous

279. things would you like

280. your toilet to do?

281. Do you have one that goes

282. "yum, yum, yum, yum, yum"?

283. Ah, Presidential suite.

284. Well, Donna's mother died.

285. But we should

286. probably head out

287. to find the last episode

288. of that Korean soap opera.

289. Yeah. Where's Peter?

290. Oh, he went to get

291. plastic surgery.

292. He did?

293. Yeah, Korea's

294. the plastic surgery

295. capital of the world.

296. Nobody here

297. thinks you look good

298. unless you have

299. big round eyes and a tiny

300. little nose and chin.

301. Hi, guys.

302. Peter! Are you all right?

303. You know what?

304. I feel good.

305. I feel like I want to

306. giggle behind my hand

307. at a lot of things,

308. and hold, but not eat,

309. a big ice cream cone.

310. There were more birds

311. than videos in there.

312. Yeah, and no sign

313. of Winter Summer.

314. Glenn?

315. Glenn Quagmire?

316. Sujin?

317. It's Hee-Sun

318. from the show!

319. I don't believe it.

320. She's so beautiful.

321. She's so beautiful!

322. How did you find me?

323. I heard that

324. American Johnny

325. was back.

326. So I started following

327. you on the new

328. Where American Johnny? app.

329. I already rich from that.

330. Dance for me,

331. Hilary Duff!

332. It's so great to

333. see you, Sujin.

334. You look just as

335. pretty as ever.

336. I've waited every day

337. hoping you would return.

338. And I never stopped

339. thinking of you.

340. Were you guys involved?

341. We were, Peter.

342. Korean OMG!

343. Sujin, we actually

344. came here to find

345. the last episode

346. of Winter Summer.

347. Would you happen

348. to have it?

349. Of course.

350. Can we see it?

351. Well, yes. Tonight.

352. Glenn, you and

353. your friends must come

354. to my home for

355. gross Korean dinner.

356. Man, look at them.

357. They make

358. such a cute couple.

359. Like Pac-Man

360. and Ms. Pac-Man.

361. I'm so happy you all

362. could make it tonight.

363. We will have many things

364. you will nibble

365. at and not eat.

366. Then I will

367. give you a pizza.

368. Yeah, yeah,

369. that's great.

370. Can we watch

371. that last episode of

372. Winter Summernow?

373. We will watch

374. together after dinner.

375. In the meantime,

376. feel free to watch

377. Korean pop videos.

378. What is this,

379. and how can I make the

380. rest of my life about it?

381. Dinner will be

382. ready soon.

383. But, Glenn, I have

384. a surprise for you.

385. Do you remember

386. Buttercup?

387. Who's Buttercup?

388. Oh, my God,

389. I can't believe

390. Buttercup is still alive!

391. Alive and well.

392. Wait a minute,

393. you named

394. a cat Buttercup?

395. Only Quagmire.

396. And you know, Glenn,

397. after you moved away,

398. Buttercup had kittens.

399. What?

400. That's right.

401. You're a grandfather.

402. My God.

403. This is more pussy

404. than even I can handle.

405. Is he

406. gonna say "giggity"?

407. Should I say "giggity"?

408. Are other people

409. allowed to say "giggity"?

410. Giggity.

411. What?

412. Nothing. It's stupid.

413. Oh, that was

414. a great dinner, Sujin.

415. I've missed you so much.

416. I'd forgotten how happy

417. we make each other.

418. Okay, I'm done with

419. this sweet rice water

420. that has a pine nut

421. floating in it.

422. Nice dessert, by the way.

423. Can we watch

424. the thing now?

425. Of course.

426. Here it is.

427. The last episode

428. of Winter Summer.

429. Oh, my God.

430. This is everything

431. I've dreamed of.

432. Well, this,

433. and becoming a half-man,

434. half-horse.

435. Give up these legs?

436. Don't be absurd.

437. Bye bye goodbye see you later.

438. I will never forget your

439. beautiful face and head.

440. Why?

441. Why would

442. American Johnny

443. leave Korea?

444. He had everything.

445. Love. A family.

446. Why would he go

447. back to his sad,

448. pathetic bachelor

449. life in America?

450. He's got nothing there.

451. Why would he ever

452. want to go home?

453. Okay, Quagmire,

454. let's go home.

455. Well, you know what?

456. You're right, Peter.

457. American Johnny

458. never should've left.

459. It was the only time

460. he was ever happy.

461. What? What are you saying?

462. Hey, Sinju,

463. your TV says it's 21:00.

464. What is that

465. in real time?

466. I'm saying I'm not

467. going back to Quahog.

468. What?

469. But we've seen

470. the last episode.

471. We did what we

472. came here to do.

473. Peter, everything

474. you just said is true.

475. I don't have

476. anyone waiting

477. for me in Quahog.

478. But here I've got Sujin.

479. I've got Buttercup

480. and our grandcats.

481. I've got a family.

482. I'm not gonna

483. make the same mistake

484. American Johnny did.

485. I'm staying here.

486. Will Quagmire

487. stay in Korea?

488. Will Peter find a new friend?

489. Find out after this

490. Korean commercial.

491. Ashton Kutcher thought no one

492. in America would ever see.

493. Hi. I'm Ashton Kutcher.

494. Have you ever killed

495. a dog while driving drunk,

496. and then been upset

497. that there was no way

498. for your car engine

499. to cook it for you

500. on the rest of

501. the drive home?

502. Well, those days are over,

503. thanks to Dr. Lee's

504. Pet Engine Cooking Bag.

505. Just put the dog in

506. the bag, place it

507. over the engine block,

508. and drive your usual

509. 20 miles per hour

510. over the speed limit.

511. Mmm, bow-wow.

512. I'm Ashton Kutcher,

513. and remember,

514. Dr. Lee's Pet Engine

515. Cooking Bags are

516. not meant for babies.

517. But they can be

518. used for babies.

519. Quagmire, you can't

520. stay in Korea.

521. We all got lives

522. back in Quahog.

523. That's just it, Peter.

524. You have lives.

525. You guys all have

526. wives and kids.

527. And I have

528. nothing waiting

529. for me back there.

530. But here,

531. I have a family.

532. Plus, commercial

533. pilots around here

534. can just fly their

535. plane into the ocean

536. if they want.

537. Peter's right.

538. We can't just

539. leave you here.

540. Who am I gonna get

541. all my wiener jokes from?

542. You're my wiener guy.

543. Joe, I got them

544. from a book.

545. I wish I didn't know that.

546. Don't peek behind

547. the curtain, huh?

548. Sorry, guys,

549. you're not gonna

550. change my mind.

551. I just feel like

552. I belong here

553. with Sujin.

554. What are you gonna do?

555. It's a powerful thing

556. when a woman pays you

557. even the slightest

558. bit of attention.

559. Yeah, God knows

560. I've been there.

561. Welcome to Chili's.

562. We're through.

563. I can't believe Quagmire

564. isn't coming back with us.

565. Donna's mother?

566. It was suicide.

567. You guys want to

568. check out Brazil

569. while we're out?

570. We just got to accept

571. that Quagmire has

572. made his decision.

573. There's nothing

574. we can do about it.

575. Yeah, I guess

576. as far as

577. Quagmire's concerned,

578. he's totally Korean now.

579. Guys, there's only one way

580. to get through to a Korean.

581. Through their music.

582. Uh-huh. Yeah,

583. we can try your thing.

584. Ugh, another show

585. about a lizard.

586. Quagmire, you're

587. making a mistake.

588. Quahog is where

589. you belong.

590. That's right.

591. And if you won't listen

592. to us, maybe

593. you'll listen to, um, us.

594. But singing.

595. has you lost

596. in an Asian trance

597. with a K-Pop dance

598. is complete nonsense

599. lives across that fence

600. sounds like gonorrhea

601. please tell 'em,

602. "See ya"

603. come on home

604. and giant bongs

605. firm and strong

606. Hey

607. They eat dog

608. please run, don't jog, and

609. come on, come on home

610. Quahog is your home, boy

611. Sorry, guys. I know

612. those New York Giants

613. jerseys weren't cheap.

614. But I'm staying here,

615. and that's final.

616. Well, I pressed our matching

617. beige pantsuits for tomorrow.

618. Goodnight.

619. Who's that?

620. This is my grandfather.

621. He is going to live with us,

622. in the Asian tradition.

623. So will the rest

624. of my aunts,

625. uncles and cousins.

626. They will?

627. Of course.

628. And have you

629. met Great-Grandma?

630. I can see through her.

631. Is she a ghost?

632. We don't know.

633. She won't answer.

634. Tomorrow, you take

635. her to town to

636. buy root vegetable.

637. After that, you will

638. get psychopath haircut,

639. so you'll look like one of us.

640. What's the matter, Glenn?

641. You don't seem

642. completely emotionless.

643. No. No, no.

644. I am. I am.

645. I am emotionless.

646. Goodnight, Glenn.

647. Oh. And just so you know,

648. three of my cousins

649. have night terrors.

650. Oh, no!

651. It's crazy

652. we're going home

653. without Quagmire.

654. What are we gonna

655. do without him?

656. Let his house

657. to a sorority,

658. enjoy the babes.

659. Huh.

660. Good-bye, Quagmire.

661. We're gonna

662. miss you, buddy.

663. Guys, wait!

664. live in Korea?

665. sounds like gonorrhea

666. What I'm trying

667. to say is,

668. "Guys, I'm coming

669. back to Quahog with you."

670. You are?

671. Oh, that's great!

672. Wait, won't that upset

673. Sujin, and your

674. new Korean family?

675. What, are you kidding?

676. They all got to

677. be in a K-Pop song.

678. That's all anyone

679. here wants.

680. Look, Great-Grandma

681. is so happy,

682. she finally died

683. and became a ghost.

684. Thanks again for

685. convincing me to

686. come home, guys.

687. No problem,

688. Quagmire.

689. Looks like

690. Donna's mother's

691. funeral went well.

692. Odd choice to

693. have an open casket

694. for a gunshot suicide.

695. Yeah, I thought

696. I wanted a family,

697. but I love having

698. no responsibilities here.

699. I can get drunk whenever,

700. sleep with anyone,

701. and just hide in my house

702. and avoid the world

703. if I feel like it.

704. Wow, that's great.

705. And totally doesn't sound

706. like symptoms of

707. clinical depression.

708. I heard you gentlemen

709. went to South Korea.

710. Yeah.

711. Well, that's cool.

712. We went to Lake Havasu,

713. you losers.

714. We nabbed so much

715. college beav!