1. We now return to
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2. 11 Angry Men and One
Developmentally Disabled Man.
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3. Okay, the vote is
11 for "guilty"
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4. and one for "kitty."
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5. All right,
let's keep talking it out...
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6. Has the jury
reached its verdict?
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7. We have, Your Honor.
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8. We find the defendant...
kitty.
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9. Boy, am I beat.
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10. Peter, what's
with the tie?
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11. Oh, I bought a tie so I can
loosen it when I'm beat.
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12. Oh, my God, Dad!
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13. Peter, your breath!
It's horrible.
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14. Is Whoopi Goldberg
working out down there?
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15. Peter, I think
what everyone's saying
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16. is that you've
got "dad breath."
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17. What the hell's
"dad breath"?
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18. You know,
"dad breath."
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19. Guys get older,
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20. they stop paying
attention to hygiene,
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21. their bodies
are changing...
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22. It's just a fact that,
at a certain age,
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23. men start to rot
from the inside out.
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24. I don't smell it.
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25. Huh. Maybe that
explains what happened
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26. with that new guy
at work today.
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27. All right, so this
is Pawtucket Patriot's
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28. national distribution.
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29. As you can see,
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30. we are predominantly
an East Coast beer.
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31. Hey, there's gonna be a quiz
on all this later.
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32. I'm just kidding.
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33. Someone said that
to me once,
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34. now I say it.
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35. Hey, Lois,
what do you say
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36. we do what Anderson
Cooper tried once
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37. before he decided
he hated it?
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38. Oh, Peter...
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39. Hi, there.
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40. Ugh. Oh.
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41. Let's do some
role-playing.
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42. You're you
and I'm Peter,
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43. only with
much worse knees.
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44. Ow, my knees!
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45. Actually, Peter,
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46. I think I finally
want to make love
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47. to a 1950's spaceman.
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48. Really? You mean it?
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49. All right, let's go!
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50. Good.
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51. Ugh, Dad, it smells like
rotting flesh in here.
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52. Take the window lock off!
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53. Can't do that, Meg.
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54. I don't trust myself
not to jump out the window.
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55. Ah, now this
is music.
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56. ♪ Hodee hodee hodee ho
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57. ♪ Heedee heedee heedee hee
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58. Oh, my God!
Meg, are you okay?
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59. Do you need mouth-to-nose
resuscitation?
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60. Ah... politics.
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61. Ah... coach
is a bum.
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62. Oh, bloody hell!
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63. Heh! Beetle Bailey.
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64. Heh! Ha-ha! Ha!
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65. Ha-ha-ha!
Oh, that's it!
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66. All right, fat man,
two can play at that game.
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67. Aah! Friendly fire!
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68. All right,
that's it, Peter,
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69. we've got to do something
about that awful breath.
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70. I'm making an appointment,
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71. and you are going
to the dentist.
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72. Geez, you are not gonna
let this go, are you?
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73. You're as stubborn as
a four-hour erection.
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74. Well, she's long gone,
so, uh, you can go, too.
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75. Oh, no,
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76. you got me for another
three and half hours, pal.
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77. Go ahead,
seek medical attention.
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78. I'm not going anywhere.
You can't stay!
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79. I'm chaperoning
my daughter's
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80. Girl Scout dinner
in 45 minutes!
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81. Well, tuck me
into your waistband
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82. and try not to pee
up your shirt.
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83. Oh, boy.
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84. All right, I think
I found the culprit.
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85. This shrimp was lodged
under one of your gums.
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86. Wow, that must've been
in there a while.
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87. It's been weeks since I ordered
from Hurry Up, Shrimp.
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88. Where the hell is this guy?
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89. I ordered that shrimp
two hours ago.
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90. Uh-oh!
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91. Looks like
you should've ordered
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92. from Hurry Up, Shrimp.
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93. Hurry Up, Shrimp?
Well, that just sounds fast.
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94. On average, Americans spend
upwards of 50,000 hours
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95. waiting for shrimp
over the course of their lives.
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96. When I heard that,
I thought to myself,
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97. "Why on earth don't
these guys just hurry up?"
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98. So that's just what we did.
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99. Come on! Come on!
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100. No way
this is the shrimp.
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101. Wow, it is!
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102. Well, I'm very proud
of you, Peter.
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103. And since you were so well
behaved at the dentist,
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104. you can order
anything you want.
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105. Oh, Dad, when do I get
to go to the dentist?
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106. When you're older, Chris.
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107. Good evening,
countrymen.
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108. And women.
Oh!
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109. Welcome to
The Founding Father.
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110. Hey, little guy.
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111. You know, that's
a real treasure map
you've got there.
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112. Okay, well, I guess treasure
hunting isn't for everyone.
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113. Treasure, you say?
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114. Ah, yes.
You see, legend has it
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115. that Quahog founder
Miles "Chatterbox" Musket
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116. hid his fortune
in fear of it being taken
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117. by British soldiers
during the Revolutionary War.
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118. He died before
he could retrieve it,
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119. and left behind only this map.
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120. Many believe his treasure
is still buried
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121. right here in Rhode Island.
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122. Okay, I'm gonna
go do diarrhea,
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123. and then I'll be right back
to take your order.
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124. Lois, I know where this is!
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125. Peter, please,
that's just a place mat
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126. to distract your children
while you're eating.
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127. There's no treasure.
Well, what if there is?
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128. Ah, see?
Surprised you with that one.
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129. You see, you see that rock
next to the "X"?
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130. I know that rock, Lois—
it's right near Route 2.
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131. I'm finding that treasure.
Peter, the map
is a joke.
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132. You're being played
for a fool.
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133. Like George McFly.
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134. Hey, Lorraine,
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135. whatever happened to that guy
Marty from high school?
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136. Don't know.
Never saw him after the prom.
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137. Really? Sure you didn't
run into him, oh, say,
about 16 years ago?
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138. George, what are
you talking about?
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139. I'm talking about
the fact that our son,
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140. who you insisted we name
after that guy Marty,
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141. looks exactly like him!
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142. You think I'm an idiot?
That I wouldn't notice
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143. that our son is a dead ringer
for the guy who fixed us up?
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144. Mom, Dad, I accidentally set
fire to the living room rug!
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145. I am not going easy on him!
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146. Hey, guys, who wants to dig
for buried treasure with me?
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147. What? What are you
talking about?
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148. Well, this child's
place mat is telling me
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149. to dig for buried treasure
by the side of the highway.
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150. Who's in?
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151. Aw, forget it, Peter.
That's crazy talk.
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152. Yeah, we're not going along
with another one of
your stupid ideas.
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153. I don't have
stupid ideas.
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154. Haven't you seen my
documentary film?
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155. Each year,
the environment covers
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156. more than 40% of the Earth.
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157. Every animal on Earth
lays eggs.
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158. This is a birch tree.
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159. Today it will begin
its 10,000-mile journey.
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160. The Earth neither
hates nor loves,
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161. but sits, waiting patiently,
for people to do famous stuff.
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162. Peter, it's time
to come home.
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163. You been out here
digging all day.
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164. I-I told you this whole thing
was ridiculous.
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165. What the hell was
I thinking, anyway?
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166. I must be some
kind of idiot.
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167. What was that?
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168. Holy crap!
Lois, it's the treasure!
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169. Oh, my God!
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170. Peter, you were right!
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171. Oh, no, it's the one kid
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172. who also followed
the treasure map.
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173. I don't believe it!
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174. There really was something
buried out there!
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175. Well, it's not the treasure,
but it looks like
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176. it's a clue
to where the treasure is.
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177. "Face the circle
in the square,
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178. you'll see me,
I'll show you where."
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179. Interesting.
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180. Interesting, interesting.
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181. Okay, well, if there is
a treasure out there,
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182. we don't want anybody else
to know about it.
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183. None of this leaves
this room, okay?
Obviously.
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184. We're not idiots, Brian.
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185. Hey, look!
Dad's on TV!
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186. Hello, I'm Tom Tucker,
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187. here with local fortune seeker
Peter Griffin, who appears
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188. to have found a clue
to a hidden treasure.
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189. That's right, Tom,
and I sincerely hope
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190. that the caption beneath me
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191. doesn't say "Local Fatty."
Let's do something
about that caption.
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192. All right, well, you can check
out the clue at our Web site:
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193. We were a little late
getting a Web site.
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194. Quick, Neil! Sign into
the neighbors' Wi-Fi
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195. so we can get that clue.
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196. Nurse, write down that
clue, and then go out in
the waiting room and...
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197. maybe start lowering
expectations.
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198. Treasure?
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199. Yeah, baby?
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200. Bring me a grape wine.
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201. Peter, what the hell!
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202. Now everyone has the clue!
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203. Why would you do that?
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204. Because I'm tired
of people saying
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205. I don't know nothin'.
Everyone doubted me,
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206. so I wanted to rub it
in their faces that I was right.
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207. All right, where is it?
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208. Give me that!
Is this all there was?
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209. Yeah, is there
anything else
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210. we should know before
we start looking?
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211. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
This is our thing.
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212. We're not sharing
this with anyone.
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213. Peter, come on,
are you serious?
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214. If Joe or I found this, we'd
want you right alongside us.
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215. Well, yeah, we're
like peas in a pod.
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216. Wait-wait.
Don't go in there.
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217. He's doing his podcast.
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218. Oh, that's cute.
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219. Now, that I like.
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220. What do you think about this,
you old bag?
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221. Oh, no.
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222. Look, you guys
doubted me, mocked me,
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223. constantly handled my Eggo
despite my clear instructions,
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224. and now you want a
piece of my treasure?
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225. I don't think so.
Well, fine!
We don't need you anyway!
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226. Peter, I don't like this.
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227. It seems like this treasure
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228. is already turning people
against each other.
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229. Hang on, you guys.
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230. I think I might have
figured something out.
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231. "The circle in the square."
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232. That could be the clock
in the town square.
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233. Wow, that... You're right!
Brian, that could be it!
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234. Well, let's get down there
before anyone else does.
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235. Son of a bitch!
Everyone's already here!
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236. Let's see, "Face
the circle in the square."
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237. "Face the circle."
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238. "Face."
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239. Okay, the gesturing
needs to stop.
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240. No one else is doing that.
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241. Look!
When you face this way,
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242. you're looking at
the statue of Miles Musket.
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243. Crap, you guys, there's
already other people here.
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244. They must have
figured it out, too.
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245. You're right.
Okay, gather round, kids.
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246. Family suicide.
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247. Look— there's a plaque!
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248. "This square
shall forever honor
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249. "the memory of my son,
Timmy Musket.
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250. "Always a chip
off the old Block.
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251. "May he rest in peace.
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252. Miles 'Chatterbox' Musket."
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253. Wait— when I played Jane Musket
in the school play
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254. the last three weekends—
thanks for coming...
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255. I couldn't.
I had a thing.
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256. I had a lot of
dog stuff that day.
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257. Yeah, weekends I like
to spend with my kids.
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258. I learned that
Timmy Musket is buried
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259. in a cemetery
on Block Island.
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260. I remember it because
my big speech was, "Timmy..."
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261. Meg, please.
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262. That must be what "chip off
the old Block" means!
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263. That's it!
Meg, take the car home!
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264. Your mother and I are taking
the ferry to Block Island!
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265. Chris, we need to find that
treasure for ourselves.
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266. What do you mean?
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267. Even if Dad finds
the treasure,
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268. he's not gonna share.
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269. He'll just blow
through it all.
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270. Maybe you're right.
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271. I mean, last time
we came into some money,
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272. he just wasted it
on all those
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273. diamond pinkie rings
for everybody.
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274. What?
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275. Uh, well, uh, yeah,
we should probably go.
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276. What the hell?
Where are they going?
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277. Oh, forget them.
They're dead weight.
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278. If this treasure's going
to be found,
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279. it's up to you
and me, Brian.
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280. What do you mean?
Come on! You think
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281. the fat man's gonna
figure out those clues?
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282. He's an idiot.
Yeah, I guess
you're right.
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283. Yes, I mean,
he's the guy
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284. who put all those
little bald men in incubators
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285. because he thought
they were babies.
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286. Look at you.
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287. You came early,
but you're gonna make it.
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288. I'm a senior vice president
at an investment firm!
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289. Oh, someone's a fussy britches.
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290. Want half a Mounds bar?
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291. What?
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292. Who eats a Mounds bar?
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293. I do.
My whole life,
I don't think
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294. I've ever seen a single
person eat a Mounds bar.
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295. Well, you're about
to see one now.
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296. So, you walk
into a store,
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297. you see the hundreds
of options for candy,
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298. and you choose
a Mounds bar?
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299. Yep.
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300. So what is it you like?
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301. The coconut?
The chocolate?
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302. Yeah.
Both those things.
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303. How long you been
eating 'em?
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304. Uh, I've probably
been having a Mounds bar
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305. two or three times a day
for the last 25 years.
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306. Geez, no wonder
you can't walk!
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307. You have total
renal shutdown!
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308. Your kidneys are
drowning in a stew
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309. of chocolate and coconut!
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310. Give me that!
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311. What are you doing?
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312. Why are your nipples
poking into me?
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313. Sorry. That happens
when I'm cold.
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314. But why are there
three of them?
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315. There aren't.
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316. Two of them are moles.
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317. Those numbers
still don't add up!
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318. Why the hell are we taking
a hot air balloon?
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319. I don't think we're anywhere
near Block Island.
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320. Oh, I know.
We passed that miles ago.
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321. What? Well, then what
about the treasure?
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322. Two friends sailing in
the sky in a wicker basket
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323. with a strange man
holding a cheese plate?
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324. This is the treasure, Bri.
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325. You want a Vicodin?
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326. Isn't it dangerous to do drugs
10,000 feet in the air?
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327. Yeah. Exactly.
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328. What the hell?
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329. Never gonna die!
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330. Your friend is, like,
the coolest guy
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331. I've ever had up here.
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332. Oh, damn it, Lois,
they're already here!
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333. This is all your fault!
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334. What? How is this my fault?
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335. Because you just had
to stop for ice cream!
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336. Then you get in there,
and you order
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337. like you never
heard of food before!
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338. Oh, "Coffee Fudge Swirl with
Reese's Peanut Butter Cups."
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339. Oh, I wonder
what's in that!
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340. You just listed off
all the ingredients!
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341. Everything you just said
is what's in that!
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342. Well, I hate to say it,
but I guess
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343. we're supposed
to dig this kid up.
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344. Any volunteers?
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345. I dig kids.
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346. All of you,
hold it right there!
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347. If anyone's digging
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348. into this little kid's grave,
it's me!
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349. You're too late.
We got here first.
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350. No, it's my treasure hunt!
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351. I found the first clue!
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352. You guys are just horning in!
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353. You guys, calm down!
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354. See, this is what
I was talking about.
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355. You can't desecrate
a child's grave!
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356. Don't worry, Lois.
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357. We're gonna do it
with reverence.
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358. Hey, how about
a little digging song?
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359. ♪ Little Peter Griffin
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360. I didn't care for
the end of that song.
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361. Oh, my God!
The treasure's
in the casket!
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362. Come on, Meg,
let's get it!
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363. My treasure!
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364. Oh, my God!
You hit your own son!
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365. That's it, Peter.
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366. I am not gonna stand here
and be a part of this madness.
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367. You're on your own,
because I quit!
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368. Chris, Meg,
we're going home.
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369. Well, good! You were just
slowing me down anyway!
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370. You, Asian lady,
you're the new Lois.
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371. I will have one scoop of mint
chocolate chip in a waffle cone.
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372. You are a practical,
straightforward people.
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373. What do you guys think
is in here?
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374. Sounds like books.
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375. Oh, my God!
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376. Feels so weird to be
looking at a dead kid
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377. and not have angry
parents nearby.
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378. Hey, look! There's something
written inside the lid.
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379. "You've crossed the miles,
you've pawed through clues.
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380. Find where he hits, misses,
cheers and boos."
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381. By the way, for those
who came on my boat,
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382. I have those
sandwiches.
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383. "Hits, misses,
cheers, and boos."
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384. Could be... baseball?
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385. And "pawed through clues."
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386. Could it be Paw... tucket?
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387. The Pawtucket Red Sox play
at McCoy Stadium.
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388. Quagmire, let's get
to that stadium!
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389. Eh! Lois took the bike.
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390. Hey, wait a minute.
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391. This is a great time for me
to do my Suzuki Samurai promo!
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392. Are you a Hawaii scumbag?
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393. Do you chug energy drinks
in Arizona?
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394. Suzuki Samurai—
ninja name, garbage car.
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395. You sons of bitches,
this is my...
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396. Oh, my God, look at 'em.
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397. Lois was right.
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398. This treasure hunt has
turned them all into animals.
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399. There's more
where that came from, mister!
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400. He was right.
There was more!
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401. Oh, look who's back—
the grave robber.
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402. Hey, Lois.
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403. So, what happened?
You find your treasure?
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404. No. I realized something
after you left.
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405. It's not the treasure
that matters.
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406. All that really matters
is the money you get
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407. in exchange
for the treasure.
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408. I guess I had
to learn that the hard way.
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409. Peter, you were a real jerk
out there!
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410. I know.
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411. You were right.
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412. I took this thing way too far.
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413. And I'm really sorry about
how I treated you and the kids.
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414. But you know me.
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415. If I read anything
on a place mat,
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416. I just kind of go nuts.
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417. Can you forgive me?
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418. Chris forgave me.
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419. I can't wait for you
to fall asleep tonight.
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420. Of course I
forgive you, Peter.
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421. So I guess everyone else came
to their senses, too, huh?
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422. No, they all ran off
to McCoy Stadium.
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423. What? Why? What's
at McCoy Stadium?
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424. Ah, there was a clue
at the graveyard.
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425. Here, I took a picture
with my phone.
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426. Oh, it's the
next picture.
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427. Just swipe it
to the next one.
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428. She saw me.
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429. "You've crossed the miles,
you've pawed through clues.
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430. Find where he hits,
misses, cheers and boos."
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431. Peter, this can't be leading
them to a baseball stadium.
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432. Baseball wasn't invented
until the 1800s.
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433. Wow, you're really smart, Lois.
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434. You know, Peter,
in the first eight minutes
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435. of Meg's play,
before I walked out,
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436. they said Miles Musket
was a horrible drunk
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437. and a wife beater.
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438. So, when it says,
"hits, misses,"
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439. it might be talking
about hitting Mrs. Musket.
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440. And he probably misspelled
"missus"
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441. because he was drunk
when he wrote it.
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442. Or maybe he misspelled it
because cursive is hard,
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443. and everyone should
get off his back.
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444. And "cheers" and "boos"
might be referring to a bar
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445. where he would "cheers,"
and drink his "booze."
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446. "Hits missus,
cheers and booze."
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447. Wait a minute— it's got
to be an old bar, right?
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448. The Clam's
the oldest bar in town.
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449. That must be
where the treasure is!
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450. All right, let's you
put some makeup on
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451. and get right down
to The Clam!
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452. Oh, no, they're closed.
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453. Hang on. I got an idea.
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454. But you have to believe.
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455. What?
You have to believe.
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456. Say you believe.
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457. Okay. I believe.
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458. This is worse than the time
we were in The Clam right now.
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459. Yes!
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460. Peter, look!
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461. That's Miles Musket!
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462. It is?
Yes!
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463. How have you never seen
this painting before?
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464. Lois, I'm completely hammered
every time I'm in here.
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465. We did it!
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466. We found the treasure!
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467. You know what, Peter?
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468. Why don't you open it?
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469. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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470. No, okay,
I'll-I'll open it.
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471. Here, hold this.
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472. "Congratulations.
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473. "You have won
The Founding Father Restaurant
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474. "Treasure Hunt Challenge.
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475. "Please enjoy one free meal
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476. "at select
Founding Father locations.
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477. Expires May 16, 2006."
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478. Wait a second.
What year is it?
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479. It's 2013, Peter.
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480. So that's...
It's before.
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481. The coupon's no good.
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482. Oh, man!
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483. Um, this sucks worse
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484. than when I went
to that strip club without Lois.
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485. Yay!
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486. Well, Peter, I hope
you're not disappointed
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487. we didn't find
any treasure.
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488. No, it's fine.
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489. You know, the important thing is
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490. we figured out
those clues together.
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491. I mean, so what
we won't be able to pay
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492. to fix them veins
in your legs.
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493. You're my treasure, Lois,
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494. and I want you
on my team for everything.
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495. Except for sports.
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496. Me too, Peter.
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497. I love you.
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498. I love you, too, Lois.
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499. No way that's the shrimp.
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