1. Oh, Stewie,
how exciting!Copy !req
2. Your first visit to
a real fire station!Copy !req
3. Yeah, you kids always loved your
first trip to the fire station.Copy !req
4. You remember when we took Meg?Copy !req
5. Welcome to the Quahog
Fire Department, folks.Copy !req
6. I'm Captain Beckman.Copy !req
7. Let me know if you
have any questionsCopy !req
8. that I can
answer for you.Copy !req
9. What's up, nerds?Copy !req
10. You waiting for some guy to
fall asleep with a cigarette?Copy !req
11. Lazy fire turds!Copy !req
12. Have another donut, pig!Copy !req
13. We got guns! You got hoses!Copy !req
14. See you on the softball field!Copy !req
15. Over here is our kitchen,
where we make all our meals.Copy !req
16. And upstairs
is where we sleep.Copy !req
17. What about your
wives and families?Copy !req
18. Sometimes we don't see them
for long periods of time.Copy !req
19. Well, that sounds
awfully lonely.Copy !req
20. Like being an NBA player
on the road.Copy !req
21. Baby, I miss my wife so much.Copy !req
22. Thanks for understanding
that we can't do anything.Copy !req
23. I just want to cuddle.Copy !req
24. Oh, you're so sweet.Copy !req
25. I'm just doing
what a man should do.Copy !req
26. Respecting the sacred
institution of marriage.Copy !req
27. And now, straight to sleep.Copy !req
28. This message brought
to you by the NBA.Copy !req
29. Let's all pretend this happens.Copy !req
30. Hey, Chris, you think it's safe
to drink from a fire hose?Copy !req
31. Why not, Dad?
It's just water.Copy !req
32. All right, well, turn it on.
I'm very thirsty.Copy !req
33. Nice job, Chris.Copy !req
34. You got my shirt wet.Copy !req
35. Now, few people realizeCopy !req
36. that until 1928
there were no hoses,Copy !req
37. and you actually had to fight
fires with your bare hands.Copy !req
38. I will now give
a demonstration.Copy !req
39. Whoa, scrappy little blaze, huh?Copy !req
40. Oh, my God,
the fire's got a gun!Copy !req
41. What the was that?Copy !req
42. Come on, Stewie.
We're going.Copy !req
43. Just a moment, Brian.Copy !req
44. I'm pretending
I'm a fireman.Copy !req
45. I love playing pretend.Copy !req
46. My name's Peter
and I work in the brewery.Copy !req
47. Now I'm gonna put on my pantsCopy !req
48. and go talk
to my coworkers at...Copy !req
49. These pants have
stool in them.Copy !req
50. Well, I hope everyone had a fun
afternoon at the firehouse.Copy !req
51. I sure did, Mom!Copy !req
52. I can't wait for the
next family outing!Copy !req
53. Aw, thanks, Mike.Copy !req
54. I hate fire stations.Copy !req
55. Is that alcohol
on your breath?Copy !req
56. Yeah, maybe.Copy !req
57. You're playing this
too fast and loose, Mike!Copy !req
58. Ooh, ooh, is
that the mail?Copy !req
59. Yeah.
Is there anything
in there for me?Copy !req
60. I want to see if
there's a responseCopy !req
61. to all those fan letters
I've been writing.Copy !req
62. Dear Cary Elwes,Copy !req
63. I have been meaning to
contact you for some time.Copy !req
64. I have never been able to
figure out if you are famous.Copy !req
65. You were a big deal
in one thing,Copy !req
66. but you were wearing
a mask for most of it.Copy !req
67. Do you consider your
career a disappointment?Copy !req
68. Or rather, did you exceed
your own expectations?Copy !req
69. Yours truly, Peter Griffin.Copy !req
70. P.S. You were in
Robin Hood: Men in Tights.Copy !req
71. Did you know that?Copy !req
72. Hey, there's something here
from the Nielsen Company.Copy !req
73. "Dear Griffin family,Copy !req
74. "You have been specially
selected from amongst millionsCopy !req
75. "of American households
to be a Nielsen family,Copy !req
76. "and as such, to have your
TV viewing habits monitoredCopy !req
77. in order to measure
television ratings."Copy !req
78. Oh, kids, this came
all the way from Delaware.Copy !req
79. What does all
that mean?Copy !req
80. Well, Meg, it sounds like
they want us to be part ofCopy !req
81. a select group of people that
helps determine what's on TV.Copy !req
82. We're gonna be a Nielsen family?Copy !req
83. That's awesome!Copy !req
84. I think... uh...Copy !req
85. I think that's
the wrong music.Copy !req
86. There you go.Copy !req
87. Now, this Nielsen box will keep
track of everything you watch,Copy !req
88. which helps us generalize
the viewing habitsCopy !req
89. of millions of Americans.Copy !req
90. Ah, yes.Copy !req
91. And what was that beginning,
middle and end part again?Copy !req
92. Um...Copy !req
93. this Nielsen box will keep track
of everything you watch,Copy !req
94. which helps us generalize
the viewing habitsCopy !req
95. of millions of Americans.Copy !req
96. Is there any way you can
describe that to meCopy !req
97. using colorful puppets
of some sort?Copy !req
98. The Nielsen box will monitor
your viewing habits!Copy !req
99. I don't like the left puppet.
His chin is scary.Copy !req
100. Well, thanks
for your cooperation.Copy !req
101. If you have any questions,
please call me.Copy !req
102. And welcome
to the Nielsen family.Copy !req
103. Thank you very much.Copy !req
104. Well, isn't this exciting.Copy !req
105. I know, I can't believe
we're a Nielsen family!Copy !req
106. I never get picked
for anything.Copy !req
107. All right, everyone.Copy !req
108. Time to do
our Nielsen duty.Copy !req
109. So, what are we gonna watch?Copy !req
110. Boobs!
Project Runway!Copy !req
111. The Good Wife!
That black version
of our show!Copy !req
112. You know, guys, this
is a real opportunityCopy !req
113. to promote quality
programming.Copy !req
114. I think we should
watch PBS.Copy !req
115. Yeah, you're real
passionate about PBS.Copy !req
116. You donated once five years ago
and they sent you a mug.Copy !req
117. And now the mug's so old
that the "P" has been worn offCopy !req
118. so it just says "B.S."Copy !req
119. It's libtards like you that are
screwing up our country.Copy !req
120. Tom Tucker?
What are you doing here?Copy !req
121. Well, I heard you're
the new Nielsen family.Copy !req
122. Just hoping you plan to watch
the Channel Five News.Copy !req
123. I don't know.
I've missed so many.Copy !req
124. It's gonna take me
forever to catch up.Copy !req
125. Well, we'd sure love
to have you as a viewer.Copy !req
126. Is there anything we can doCopy !req
127. to make the news
more appealing to you?
Maybe.Copy !req
128. I guess you could
lose the moustache.Copy !req
129. Lose my moustache?Copy !req
130. Well, gosh, I...
I don't know.Copy !req
131. My birthmark
makes it kind of tough.Copy !req
132. Always caused me problems
at my old job.Copy !req
133. And that'll do it for us here
at Channel 12 News.Copy !req
134. Make sure you turn
those clocks ahead.Copy !req
135. Good night, St. Louis.Copy !req
136. Yeah, I don't know,Copy !req
137. I was never that crazy
about the moustache.Copy !req
138. Well, I suppose I could lose it
and just use more makeup.Copy !req
139. Yeah, that'd be cool.Copy !req
140. And maybe a festive hat would
make things more festive.Copy !req
141. All right, this is good.
Any other suggestions?Copy !req
142. Yeah, can you end each showCopy !req
143. by trying to pull-start
a very cold chain saw?Copy !req
144. Well, that shouldn't
be a problem.Copy !req
145. All right, thank you
for being so candid.Copy !req
146. Hey, thanks for listening.Copy !req
147. I know how hard it is
to take criticism.Copy !req
148. Hey, nice boots, Griffin.Copy !req
149. They sell men's shoes
where you got those?Copy !req
150. You made a commitment
to these boots, Peter.Copy !req
151. These boots are the new you,Copy !req
152. and no one will shake that.Copy !req
153. Yee-haw, ride 'em, cowgirl!Copy !req
154. Okay, you can take
the boots off at lunch.Copy !req
155. Go to the gym.
Have a workout.Copy !req
156. Come back in your sneakers.Copy !req
157. If anyone asks, you forgot
the boots in your locker.Copy !req
158. Just make it to lunch.Copy !req
159. Those boots are
made for walkin'.Copy !req
160. Up to guys' butts.Copy !req
161. Hey, fellas.
Hey.Copy !req
162. Good evening, Quahog.Copy !req
163. Tonight, Channel Five
mourns the lossCopy !req
164. of a dear colleague.Copy !req
165. My moustache.Copy !req
166. And as per the wishes
of my moustache,Copy !req
167. his ashes were sprinkled
off the coast of AcapulcoCopy !req
168. where he was born.Copy !req
169. Well, that'll do it for us here.Copy !req
170. Thanks for watching
Channel Five,Copy !req
171. the most trusted name in news.Copy !req
172. Ah, crap.Copy !req
173. Oh, come on.Copy !req
174. Let's go, Tom.Copy !req
175. Work, damn it!Copy !req
176. What the hell?Copy !req
177. What's going on
with the news?Copy !req
178. This is terrible!
Yeah, has he lost his mind?Copy !req
179. Well, I'll be damned.Copy !req
180. If I knew he was gonna do
all that stuff I told him,Copy !req
181. I would've told him
more stuff.Copy !req
182. What?Copy !req
183. Peter, you told him
to do this crap?Copy !req
184. Yeah, he came to my house
when he found outCopy !req
185. I was a Nielsen family,
asked what I wanted to see.Copy !req
186. Hey, hey, you know
what would be cool?Copy !req
187. If he did the news with
a family of prairie dogs,Copy !req
188. and whenever he said
something sad,Copy !req
189. they'd pop their heads up,
all concerned.Copy !req
190. Peter, you sure that's
such a good idea?Copy !req
191. People rely on the local news
to provide them withCopy !req
192. several stories a year on how
saltwater taffy is made.Copy !req
193. Yeah, if you're
a Nielsen family,Copy !req
194. it seems like you
should maybe beCopy !req
195. a little more thoughtful
with your choices.Copy !req
196. What are you talking about?Copy !req
197. I'm just having a little fun.Copy !req
198. For God's sakes,
I've just been handedCopy !req
199. the coolest freaking toy
on the planet.Copy !req
200. Well, you know, except for
Hungry Hungry Alec Baldwins.Copy !req
201. Hey, I'm not... I'm not
even touching the lever.Copy !req
202. Chilling news
from Long Island Sound,Copy !req
203. as a four-passenger prop plane
on its way to East HamptonCopy !req
204. spun into the surf
off Montauk Point.Copy !req
205. There were no survivors.Copy !req
206. Oh, that's so great, I just
called him on the way home!Copy !req
207. Peter, I'm not sure this
is entirely responsible.Copy !req
208. I don't see what
the big deal is.Copy !req
209. I was just trying
to make the show better.Copy !req
210. Hell, I wish I could do it
with all the shows.Copy !req
211. Yeah, well, you only have
one Nielsen box.Copy !req
212. You don't have the clout
to affect national shows.Copy !req
213. Damn it.Copy !req
214. I guess that means
I'll never get to seeCopy !req
215. an episode of Superman
where Clark Kent and Lois LaneCopy !req
216. finally get together.Copy !req
217. Lois, I love you,Copy !req
218. and I want there to be
no more secrets between us.Copy !req
219. I am Superman.Copy !req
220. Oh, my God.Copy !req
221. The only thing that can
kill me is kryptonite.Copy !req
222. Or latex.Copy !req
223. Or lambskin.Copy !req
224. What about
polyurethane?
All that.Copy !req
225. All that stuff.Copy !req
226. Hi, folks.Copy !req
227. Just thought I'd stop by
and make sure your equipmentCopy !req
228. is working properly and see
if you have any questions.Copy !req
229. Yeah, is something wrong
with our remote?Copy !req
230. No matter how low
I turn the volume,Copy !req
231. Aziz Ansari is always
shouting at me.Copy !req
232. What did I do?Copy !req
233. Thank you.
I think we're good.Copy !req
234. Everything seems
to be going well.Copy !req
235. Okay, great.Copy !req
236. Well, I'm just gonna
change out the cardCopy !req
237. on your unit real quick
and I'll be on my way.Copy !req
238. Well, we're all set.Copy !req
239. Thanks for your time.Copy !req
240. No, thank you, pal.Copy !req
241. And hey, you've been
working hard.Copy !req
242. Why don't you take the
rest of the day off?Copy !req
243. Here's two tickets to Sandra
Bernhard's one-woman show.Copy !req
244. Wow, thanks!Copy !req
245. Yeah, and they're
great seats.Copy !req
246. They're right in
the gap of her teeth.Copy !req
247. Social media?Copy !req
248. More like a social disease.Copy !req
249. Ha! That's funny!Copy !req
250. Peter, what the hell's
going on here?Copy !req
251. Lois, we're no longer
one Nielsen family.Copy !req
252. We're 100.Copy !req
253. More boxes, more power.Copy !req
254. And I got some ideas
to make TV better.Copy !req
255. Hello, Mad Men
production office.Copy !req
256. Yeah, Peter Griffin here.Copy !req
257. Could I speak with
Jon Hamm, please?Copy !req
258. One moment.Copy !req
259. Hello?
Hello, Jon Hamm?Copy !req
260. Peter Griffin,
Nielsen family.Copy !req
261. Listen, did I catch
you at a good time,Copy !req
262. or are you and the critics busy
sucking each other's butts?Copy !req
263. Excuse me?Copy !req
264. Look, your show
is really boring.Copy !req
265. But don't worry,
I got some ideasCopy !req
266. on how you
can jazz it up.Copy !req
267. Listen, I don't need
your suggestions, pal.Copy !req
268. I've been a big celebrity
for a year and a half now.Copy !req
269. Okay, if that's
how you're gonna be.Copy !req
270. We'll see how
this plays out.Copy !req
271. Lois, we're not watching
Mad Men no more.Copy !req
272. Hello?Copy !req
273. Look, I may have been
a little rash.Copy !req
274. Our ratings
have dropped 50%.Copy !req
275. Whatever suggestions
you have, I'll listen.Copy !req
276. And so, gentlemen,
in baseball,Copy !req
277. three strikes
and you're out.Copy !req
278. But three Lucky Strikes...Copy !req
279. and you're in.Copy !req
280. Nice try, Don.Copy !req
281. But I'm afraid
we're going to haveCopy !req
282. to take our business
elsewhere.Copy !req
283. Oh? I don't think so.Copy !req
284. What the hell was that?Copy !req
285. I'll tell you
what it was, Lois.Copy !req
286. It was awesome.Copy !req
287. And wait'll
you see Breaking Bad.Copy !req
288. I don't know what it was,
but now it's on roller skates.Copy !req
289. Hi, NBC,
this is Peter Griffin.Copy !req
290. Listen, you guys
are doing a great job.Copy !req
291. If anybody knows what America
wants in the '90s, it's NBC.Copy !req
292. But I just have
one small request:Copy !req
293. I like Dateline, but I really
hate waiting two hoursCopy !req
294. to find out who the killer is.Copy !req
295. Tonight on Dateline,
a woman murdered.Copy !req
296. Was it her ex-boyfriend?Copy !req
297. Yes, it was.Copy !req
298. I knew it.Copy !req
299. I knew it was the ex-boyfriend.Copy !req
300. "Sleep tight, truck.Copy !req
301. "Sleep tight, firefly.Copy !req
302. "Sleep tight, chair.Copy !req
303. Sleep tight, bird."Copy !req
304. You see that, Peter?Copy !req
305. You see the bird?Copy !req
306. Bird.Copy !req
307. Okay, we'll, uh,
pick up the rest tomorrow.Copy !req
308. Uh, now, I'm just gonna vamp for
a while with some random noises.Copy !req
309. Hee-hee!Copy !req
310. Heya, heya, heya.Copy !req
311. Uh-heh, uh-heh...Copy !req
312. Okay, good night, Peter.Copy !req
313. Good night, Dave.Copy !req
314. And, uh, here's PaulCopy !req
315. to play you to sleep
with a lullaby.Copy !req
316. ♪ Hey, lullaby...Copy !req
317. Stop, no, stop.Copy !req
318. Stop.Copy !req
319. I forgot, he's terrible.Copy !req
320. We now return to
Cops With Banana Guns.Copy !req
321. Freeze!Copy !req
322. Is that...
is that a banana?Copy !req
323. Don't worry
about what it is.Copy !req
324. I'm still a cop.Copy !req
325. Whoa, hold on.Copy !req
326. All-All right, just...
just take it easy.Copy !req
327. This can go
a couple of ways.Copy !req
328. What the hell
did Peter do to Cops?Copy !req
329. Bonnie!
Come push me out in a huff!Copy !req
330. Peter, what is this show?Copy !req
331. It's called Creeping Up
on the Kardashians.Copy !req
332. See that guy with the
ponytail in the background?Copy !req
333. He sneaks up and
scares the girlsCopy !req
334. while they're
starting businessesCopy !req
335. or getting
their fat waxed.Copy !req
336. What the hell?Copy !req
337. There they are!
That's the Nielsen family!Copy !req
338. You ruined television!Copy !req
339. Now it's just
a big, old, silly mess!Copy !req
340. Oh, God! An angry mob!Copy !req
341. I've got to swallow all my
valuables and get out of here!Copy !req
342. Did you see the mob?Copy !req
343. Did I see the mob?Copy !req
344. Why else am I here?Copy !req
345. Oh, my God, Peter,
they're really angry!Copy !req
346. Say something!Copy !req
347. W-Wait.
What the hell's going on?Copy !req
348. What do you mean,
I ruined television?Copy !req
349. You put a real cougar
on Cougar Town,Copy !req
350. and now that cougar's deadCopy !req
351. because Courtney Cox ripped it
apart with her teeth and claws!Copy !req
352. You turned Anderson Cooper 360
into Anderson Cooper 720!Copy !req
353. He's turning around too much!Copy !req
354. You converted The Biggest Loser
to the metric system!Copy !req
355. Now it feels like
they're not losing enough!Copy !req
356. Aw, the hell with you guys!Copy !req
357. You're just jealous 'cause I get
to say what's on TV now!Copy !req
358. I am a Nielsen god!Copy !req
359. Sorry, y'all.Copy !req
360. That's the first time
I ever throwed anything.Copy !req
361. Well, if it isn't
Mr. Nielsen himself.Copy !req
362. Nurse, who's the worst
doctor in this hospital?Copy !req
363. You are,
Dr. Hartman.Copy !req
364. Good.
Put Hartman on this bozo.Copy !req
365. Hey, what can
I do for you?Copy !req
366. Please, Doc, you got to
help me with this nasty gash.Copy !req
367. What seems
to be the problem?Copy !req
368. No, it's my husband.Copy !req
369. Oh. Well, you've got a lot
of nerve coming in hereCopy !req
370. after what you
did to television.Copy !req
371. Now, get out!Copy !req
372. Please, Doctor,
you've got to help him.Copy !req
373. You took an oath when
you went to medical school.Copy !req
374. I took a lot of things when
I went to medical school.Copy !req
375. Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have to answer this.Copy !req
376. Hello?Copy !req
377. Ah, Hartman!Copy !req
378. Hey, guys.
How you doing?Copy !req
379. Not so good, Peter.Copy !req
380. Yeah, me, either.Copy !req
381. Thanks to you,
TV's a vast wasteland.Copy !req
382. You know how
I know that phrase?Copy !req
383. I read it in a book,
you monster!Copy !req
384. Aw, come on, let me
make it up to you.Copy !req
385. Let me buy you a beer.Copy !req
386. No, that seat's taken.Copy !req
387. Move along, Peter.Copy !req
388. What are you
talking about?Copy !req
389. You guys are my pals.Copy !req
390. We used to be, Peter.Copy !req
391. Now, scram.Copy !req
392. Well, fine,
I'll sit at the bar.Copy !req
393. Not at my bar, you won't.Copy !req
394. Get out of here!Copy !req
395. Geez, I can't
show my face anywhere.Copy !req
396. I might as well be back
doing public radio.Copy !req
397. This is Peter Griffin,Copy !req
398. and you're listening
to Book Talk on WRNI.Copy !req
399. Today we'll be discussingCopy !req
400. Bret Easton Ellis's
popular work,Copy !req
401. Less Than Zero, a tale
of privilege, detachmentCopy !req
402. and youthful alienation.Copy !req
403. But first,
a word from our sponsor,Copy !req
404. Westin's Golden Soda Biscuits.Copy !req
405. I'm enjoying one right now.Copy !req
406. Mmm.Copy !req
407. Mmm.Copy !req
408. Mmm.Copy !req
409. Mmm.Copy !req
410. That concludes
today's session of Book Talk.Copy !req
411. Tune in tomorrow when we will
look at John Kennedy Toole'sCopy !req
412. unheralded early work,
The Neon Bible.Copy !req
413. Hey, what's wrong, Peter?Copy !req
414. I miss my friends, Brian.Copy !req
415. I mean, I was having fun
with those Nielsen boxes,Copy !req
416. but what's the pointCopy !req
417. if I don't got Joe and
Quagmire to enjoy it with me?Copy !req
418. I guess I shouldn't have
messed with television.Copy !req
419. Well, it's not
exactly your fault.Copy !req
420. The networks never should
have listened to youCopy !req
421. in the first place.Copy !req
422. This is exactly what
makes bad television:Copy !req
423. pandering to the lowest
common denominator.Copy !req
424. So what do I do, Brian?Copy !req
425. Well, you still
have these boxes.Copy !req
426. That means you still have the
power to influence television.Copy !req
427. Maybe you can use that
power to help restore TVCopy !req
428. to the way it was.Copy !req
429. You're right, Brian.Copy !req
430. Maybe if I watch
smart, quality shows,Copy !req
431. that'll help get things back
to the way they were.Copy !req
432. We can use these boxes
for good and...Copy !req
433. What the hell?Copy !req
434. That's for adding another tree
to One Tree Hill!Copy !req
435. Oh, my God, he destroyed
every last box!Copy !req
436. Holy crap!Copy !req
437. We're sunk now, Peter.Copy !req
438. There goes your one chance to
get TV back to the way it was.Copy !req
439. Wait a minute.
Maybe not, Brian.Copy !req
440. I think I just got an idea.Copy !req
441. Aah!
I got glass in my face!Copy !req
442. Oh, crap.
Now I forgot what it was.Copy !req
443. I got it!Copy !req
444. Aah! Son of a bitch!Copy !req
445. You know who I hate?Copy !req
446. The troops.Copy !req
447. Yeah, me, too.Copy !req
448. Whoa, whoa, whoa,
who are you?Copy !req
449. I'm Peter Griffin.Copy !req
450. I'm the guy
who ruined television,Copy !req
451. and I'm the guy
who's gonna fix it.Copy !req
452. Guys!Copy !req
453. I broke television,Copy !req
454. and now you have
to help me fix it!Copy !req
455. Yah-ha!Copy !req
456. Looks like this is one
we beat you to.Copy !req
457. Gentlemen, I have
gathered you all here todayCopy !req
458. because you are the creators
of what television used to beCopy !req
459. before I ruined it.Copy !req
460. And we need to rebuild
television from the ground up.Copy !req
461. So, I'm gonna need
all your best ideas.Copy !req
462. J.J. Abrams, you take
wonder and complexityCopy !req
463. and present it in a way that
no one can possibly understand.Copy !req
464. Whaddaya got?Copy !req
465. I've got an alien
that goes back in timeCopy !req
466. and encounters a koala bear
in an Eastern European town.Copy !req
467. Totally confused.
Do it!Copy !req
468. Okay, now, we're gonna need
15 workplace comediesCopy !req
469. where people talk
to the camera for some reason.Copy !req
470. You, you, you and you— go.Copy !req
471. When Peter told me to makeCopy !req
472. a workplace comedy
where people talkCopy !req
473. to the camera, I thought...Copy !req
474. Not now!
I mean, go do a show!Copy !req
475. Don't-don't do
that thing here.Copy !req
476. Huh.Copy !req
477. Wonder if I can
pull off one of thoseCopy !req
478. "can you believe what
I have to put up with" looksCopy !req
479. to the camera.Copy !req
480. Okay, Mark Burnett, you did
Survivor and The Apprentice.Copy !req
481. Can you give me a reality show
where people do horrible,Copy !req
482. unforgiveable things
to each otherCopy !req
483. for embarrassingly
small sums of money?Copy !req
484. I got some ideas.Copy !req
485. Here's a nickel,
pull down your pants.Copy !req
486. There's a show.Copy !req
487. Yah-ha! Go!Copy !req
488. All right, now,
who's gonna make a showCopy !req
489. about horrible
New Jersey freaks?Copy !req
490. You know what?
I don't care.Copy !req
491. Just someone, do it!Copy !req
492. Okay, Dick Wolf,Copy !req
493. make the same Law and Order
six times.Copy !req
494. Oh, and also,
could you marry Matt WeinerCopy !req
495. 'cause I want your name
to be Dick "Weener."Copy !req
496. Okay, but can I go by
"Dick Wolf-Weener"?Copy !req
497. Oh, my God, yes!
Yes! Yes!Copy !req
498. Okay, Bravo people,
go find women fighting.Copy !req
499. No, you know what,
just find women.Copy !req
500. They'll end up fighting.Copy !req
501. All right, everyone who's left,
make a talent show.Copy !req
502. We are done.Copy !req
503. Oh, Kelsey Grammer,
what are you still doing here?Copy !req
504. I-I have nothing left
for you.Copy !req
505. I'm... I'm sorry.Copy !req
506. Ah. Then I shall take
my ease on the lanai.Copy !req
507. I don't care
what you do now.Copy !req
508. We now return
to Mike and Molly.Copy !req
509. Have you decided
what you'd like to order?Copy !req
510. Yes, the chopped salad?Copy !req
511. I'll have everything
except that.Copy !req
512. That waiter's like, "What?"Copy !req
513. Well, you did it, Peter.Copy !req
514. You got TV back to normal.Copy !req
515. Yeah, guys,
I'm sorry for screwing upCopy !req
516. all your favorite shows.Copy !req
517. Ah, that's okay, Peter.Copy !req
518. So, what do you say?Copy !req
519. Are we pals again?Copy !req
520. Ah, course we are.
You bet.Copy !req
521. Well, let's drink
to having TVCopy !req
522. back in the hands of people
who know what they're doing.Copy !req
523. I think Zack and Cody
would be funnierCopy !req
524. if they did the show
in their underpants.Copy !req