1. I will do whatever it takes
to make sure the people I love,
Copy !req
2. that is you and that is janey,
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3. go into a special vault for management.
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4. A nuclear event would be a tragedy,
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5. but also an opportunity.
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6. Because war, well...
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7. War never changes.
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8. Your wife is going to Vegas next week
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9. to sell cold fusion to Robert house.
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10. How would you like to forget
everything you've ever known?
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11. Please, yes.
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12. Let's begin.
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13. Steph, if you don't help us,
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14. there won't be a vault 33 anymore.
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15. When you said "experiment" to Betty,
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16. what were you talking about?
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17. Overseer stuff.
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18. We can't be wasting resources
on your little club right now.
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19. I'll have you know my "little group"
is growing in numbers every week.
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20. You're a snack club!
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21. You're not taking this from me.
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22. I've seen what it's like out there.
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23. I'm just trying to make it better.
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24. It couldn't have been all bad.
You met that girl.
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25. And maybe she's still out there.
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26. Get that as far away
from here as you can.
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27. I'm looking for someone.
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28. What do you plan to do to him
when you find him?
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29. You don't happen to have any vials,
do you?
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30. My name is Roger.
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31. You turning?
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32. Hi!
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33. I was sent here by your father.
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34. Mr. Maclean is watching over
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35. this gentleman's wife and daughter.
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36. We were actually beginning to get along.
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37. We need to talk.
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38. My little sugarbomb.
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39. Increase sales in southern California,
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40. we'll be increasing
our billboard presence,
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41. which means we need to make
some esthetic choices.
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42. So, in actuality,
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43. this is what a five-megaton blast
will look like over Los Angeles.
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44. Marketing thinks a ten-megaton blast
will look better for the billboards.
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45. Mmm.
But it won't be a ten-megaton blast.
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46. It'll be multiple five-megaton blasts.
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47. Obviously it will be
multiple blasts for Los Angeles,
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48. but our design team
thinks that it would look too busy.
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49. See? Just a cacophony of puff clouds.
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50. Mmm.
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51. You know, look at that.
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52. The bad news is our water chips
have a 30% fail rate.
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53. The good news is we'll know
which ones fail before installation.
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54. So, we get to choose
who runs out of water.
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55. Any preferences?
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56. Our internal early alert system
gives us at minimum 30 minutes
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57. from notice to ignition
in downtown Los Angeles.
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58. You know, we'd be crazy
not to offer specialized freeway lanes
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59. for our premium customers.
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60. I mean, that's just money
on the table right there.
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61. Hi there.
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62. I asked Betty
if I could take notes on this one.
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63. She said yes.
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64. So... here it is.
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65. Robco presents the automated man.
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66. Spent a lot of time trying to make
my machines more lifelike.
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67. But, hey, works
the other way around, too.
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68. Mr. House,
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69. vault-tec and robco have always had a
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70. special arrangement.
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71. You have multiple vaults
to do with as you wish.
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72. If this is the research you'd like
to pursue in the vaults...
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73. You must have missed the telegram.
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74. You're paying me for this.
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75. In exchange, I get cold fusion.
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76. To power my little project in Vegas.
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77. And what project is that?
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78. Might be above your pay grade.
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79. You'll find out about it
after the bombs drop, I guess.
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80. Oh... fuck.
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81. Fuck.
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82. Uh, little help? Little help?
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83. Son of a bitch.
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84. Dogmeat, fetch me that satchel.
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85. Come on.
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86. Go on, now.
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87. I need my vials.
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88. No.
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89. I don't need the fuckin' hat!
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90. I need that satchel.
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91. You stupid fuckin' dog!
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92. Not today.
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93. Last night, I was thinkin'
about when I proposed to you.
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94. Catalina.
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95. We walked out to that
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96. romantic point.
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97. The rocks were all covered
in seagull shit.
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98. I'll never forget the sound it made
when I took a knee.
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99. You know, the thing that I can't figure out
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100. is were you a monster back then,
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101. or did you become one later?
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102. Excuse me?
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103. "War never changes."
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104. I know what you're planning to do, Barb.
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105. Morning.
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106. Beautiful day, isn't it?
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107. Please. After you.
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108. Oh, come on.
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109. I insist you go.
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110. Oh, no, no, no.
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111. Please, after you.
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112. Coffee?
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113. I finished another batch.
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114. Here you go, shelley.
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115. Fantastic. Let me take those
out of your way.
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116. We never got to discuss
all quiet, did we?
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117. I guess we were waiting
till after the wedding, right?
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118. That end, that was a humdinger, huh?
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119. I didn't finish it.
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120. That's okay.
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121. You've been busy.
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122. What did you think
about the parts that you did read?
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123. I found it very upsetting.
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124. Can't disagree with you there.
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125. What aspect upset you most?
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126. To me, the most troubling was
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127. that everyone seemed
to be fighting over nothing.
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128. French and the German,
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129. what was the difference
between them, really?
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130. I mean, other than the uniforms?
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131. I saw the same thing up on the surface.
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132. People fighting over
the most petty things, like
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133. bottle caps.
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134. Is that what you saw
when you were there?
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135. But, you know,
some things just never change.
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136. People just wanna kill each other,
don't they?
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137. I think it's the only way
for people to feel safe.
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138. It's ironic.
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139. To feel safe we have to hurt people,
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140. even kill them, because...
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141. It's crazy.
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142. The war instinct, hmm?
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143. I'm bringing you back to vault 33
to face justice,
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144. for murdering the citizens
of shady sands.
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145. You have the right to remain silent
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146. until the vault council
assigns you a legal counselor.
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147. For a second there,
I thought the wasteland had changed you.
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148. If you wanna make this official,
you should use
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149. these handcuffs.
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150. What are you doing?
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151. Surrendering.
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152. Why?
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153. I did what I did to protect you.
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154. But maybe it came at too high a price.
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155. And there comes a time in a man's life
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156. when he has to take responsibility
for what he's done,
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157. and for me, that time has come.
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158. You have come, sugarbomb.
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159. But, please, just let me tell you
what I've been doing here.
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160. No. We're going.
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161. Just give me a chance.
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162. I think you'll call
what I've been doing redemptive.
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163. You mean, brainwashing those people?
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164. I wouldn't call it brainwashing.
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165. It's a very sophisticated process,
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166. - and we've been having amazing results.
- I don't care!
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167. - Let's go.
- Okay.
Copy !req
168. You know how I get
with all my little projects.
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169. Do you remember the field
with the potato batteries
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170. when you were five?
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171. And you had a little flashlight,
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172. and you would run around
recharging the batteries
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173. with your little red flashlight.
Do you remember that?
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174. Let's go.
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175. I remember.
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176. Come on.
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177. You sure we gotta leave it?
Copy !req
178. They have trackers in these things.
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179. They'll come for it.
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180. That armor's more trouble
than it's worth.
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181. Oh, jeez.
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182. You know, if that isn't
a sacred remnant, I don't know what is.
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183. We gotta sell it, huh?
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184. No.
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185. Absolutely not.
Why... we are not selling it.
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186. Yeah, right, right.
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187. 'Course, not gonna sell it, sell it,
we would, you know,
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188. find a buyer and sorta, you know, you...
Put, put out feelers.
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189. We'd just, we'd do a trade. No.
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190. Trade it...
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191. No, we're not giving it away, all right?
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192. A trade, that's...
A trade, you get somethin'.
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193. Absolutely not.
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194. We definitely gotta sell it.
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195. I told you, we'll give
it to the right person.
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196. A good person.
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197. Name a good person. Seriously.
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198. That girl I met.
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199. - The vault dweller?
- Yeah.
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200. Yeah... you know,
I would be a good person, too,
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201. if I grew up on top of a mountain
of food and supplies
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202. in some cozy little impenetrable home.
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203. Wouldn't look like this, that's for sure.
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204. Wouldn't have to steal and stab and fib
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205. all the goddamn time just to get by.
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206. But if we sell it, guess what?
Then we'll be rich,
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207. and then we'll have the means to be
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208. one of those good people
you're talkin' about.
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209. 'Cause I've seen a lot of things,
you know, like
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210. crazy things.
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211. But, good people?
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212. No.
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213. Where were you born again, Thaddeus?
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214. Uh, the boneyard.
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215. On the shithole side of the boneyard.
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216. I guess I'm the lucky one.
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217. Coming from shady sands.
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218. I remember good people.
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219. Well, if you're the lucky one,
then we're both screwed.
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220. No offense.
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221. How've you been?
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222. My, my name, my name is Cooper.
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223. My name is Cooper.
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224. Cooper Howard.
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225. I have a daughter.
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226. I have a daughter.
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227. Her, her, her name is janey Howard.
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228. Janey...
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229. Howard.
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230. She's alive.
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231. She's, she's alive.
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232. My daughter's alive.
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233. The inbreeding support group
is at capacity,
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234. so, I am sorry, but triple cousins
doesn't cut it anymore.
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235. See ya.
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236. Oh, look.
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237. We have jello cake. It has to be made...
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238. Yeah, it's just something
that I've learned. But...
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239. Go for the twizzlers, yeah.
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240. Well, I don't know but I've been told.
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241. Uranium ore's worth more than gold.
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242. Sold my cad', I bought me a Jeep
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243. I've got that bug and I can't sleep.
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244. Uranium fever
has done and got me down.
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245. Uranium fever it's spreadin' all around.
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246. With a geiger counter in my hand
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247. I'm a-goin' out to stake me
some government land.
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248. Whoo!
Copy !req
249. Uranium fever
has done and got me down.
Copy !req
250. Well, I had talk with the aec.
Copy !req
251. And they brought out some maps
that looked good to me.
Copy !req
252. And one showed me a spot
that he said he knowed.
Copy !req
253. So I straddled my Jeep
and headed down the road
Copy !req
254. I reckon I drove about 100 miles.
Copy !req
255. Down a bumpy road
out through the wilds.
Copy !req
256. When all of sudden I bounced to a stop.
Copy !req
257. At the foot of a mountain
didn't have no top.
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258. Uranium fever
has done and got me down.
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259. Uranium fever it's spreadin' all around.
Copy !req
260. With a geiger counter in my hand
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261. I'm a-goin' out to stake me
some government land.
Copy !req
262. Whoo!
Copy !req
263. Uranium fever has done
and got me down.
Copy !req
264. Anyway.
Copy !req
265. By order of overseer Betty Pearson,
Copy !req
266. the snack budget for the products
of the inbreeding support group
Copy !req
267. has been rescinded.
Copy !req
268. And the inbreeding support group
Copy !req
269. has been dissolved.
Copy !req
270. What?
Copy !req
271. Calm down. Calm down, everyone.
Copy !req
272. I wanna talk to Betty.
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273. You've been ignoring my request
to sit down with you.
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274. Hiding from me.
Copy !req
275. I'm sorry it had to come to this.
Copy !req
276. But for the good of this vault...
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277. You know what, fine.
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278. You can dissolve
the inbreeding support group.
Copy !req
279. But you can't take away
our snack budget.
Copy !req
280. In my office, now.
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281. No. We can have
this conversation right here.
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282. We're running out of water.
Copy !req
283. And you're feeding people salty snacks.
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284. We're giving the people what they want!
Copy !req
285. Exactly.
Copy !req
286. We are working very hard
on solving the water issue.
Copy !req
287. What we need is time.
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288. And I'm sorry,
Copy !req
289. but you don't get extra rations
because of who your parents were.
Copy !req
290. Actually, this is still america,
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291. so yes, you do!
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292. Yes, yes.
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293. We're all down here
because of who our parents were.
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294. Yeah, that's right.
Copy !req
295. And who their parents were.
Copy !req
296. Our ancestors put themselves first!
Copy !req
297. And you know what?
That worked out for them.
Copy !req
298. And for us!
Copy !req
299. I'm not ashamed of that anymore.
Copy !req
300. - I understand...
- I don't think you do, Betty.
Copy !req
301. You're from vault 31.
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302. I know.
Copy !req
303. I know things are different there.
Copy !req
304. You thirty-oners are just
Copy !req
305. plum different somehow.
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306. Please, listen to me!
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307. During the weevil famine...
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308. We don't wanna hear
about the weevil famine anymore!
Copy !req
309. It feels good to hear someone
finally say that out loud.
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310. I see.
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311. Let's go, reg!
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312. Yeah, reg.
Copy !req
313. You showed her!
Copy !req
314. Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.
Copy !req
315. Irv? Have you seen Woody?
Copy !req
316. No, huh?
Copy !req
317. Hey, what about Woody?
Copy !req
318. He was meant to play checkers
this morning.
Copy !req
319. You wanna know the truth?
Copy !req
320. Yes. The truth, please.
Copy !req
321. I don't even like checkers.
Copy !req
322. I only play
'cause it seems to make Woody happy.
Copy !req
323. But who doesn't wanna make Woody happy?
Copy !req
324. He's such a great guy.
Copy !req
325. If Woody's missing,
we should bring it up with the overseer.
Copy !req
326. Good luck with that.
Copy !req
327. Uh, sorry, Chet. I know she's your wife,
but sometimes she...
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328. Excuse me, Davey.
Copy !req
329. She's not my wife.
Copy !req
330. I'm sorry.
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331. Fiancée.
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332. I saw the poster. Congratulations.
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333. There's a poster?
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334. Won't flow no more
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335. 'cause my heart just died.
Copy !req
336. At heaven's door.
Copy !req
337. Alone, so low...
Copy !req
338. Oh, hey there, Chet. Congrats.
Copy !req
339. Nothing but blues for company.
Copy !req
340. Well, if things get worse.
Copy !req
341. I can't shake this curse.
Copy !req
342. Then start draggin' the river for me.
Copy !req
343. Then start draggin' the river for me.
Copy !req
344. Uranium.
Copy !req
345. Bad for them.
Copy !req
346. Good for you.
Copy !req
347. Oh, fuck.
Copy !req
348. There's a war coming.
Copy !req
349. And we need you healthy.
Copy !req
350. Be still.
Copy !req
351. You're slowly healing.
Copy !req
352. They call us abominations.
Copy !req
353. But they created our kind.
Copy !req
354. Our kind.
Copy !req
355. I think you and me got bit
Copy !req
356. by a different motherfuckin' bug,
my friend.
Copy !req
357. Ghouls, mutants, we're kin,
Copy !req
358. and we should unite
against our common enemy.
Copy !req
359. They drove us to the point of extinction
and forgot we ever existed.
Copy !req
360. But we didn't forget them.
Copy !req
361. The people who set all this in motion.
Copy !req
362. The enclave.
Copy !req
363. I've been waste land in' for 200 years.
Copy !req
364. Whatever it is I got to do, I do it alone.
Copy !req
365. Uh-huh.
Copy !req
366. And how's that working out for you?
Copy !req
367. I've kept myself... alive for one
Copy !req
368. reason.
Copy !req
369. To find my family.
Copy !req
370. Well, then, you're gonna need friends.
Copy !req
371. But... if you won't join our kind
Copy !req
372. then you can't know where we live.
Copy !req
373. No, no.
Copy !req
374. Don't walk away from me, Coop.
Copy !req
375. I know more than you know, okay?
Copy !req
376. There are over 12,000 nuclear warheads
Copy !req
377. I'm not a board member.
I am your husband.
Copy !req
378. - Don't...
- I don't care
Copy !req
379. about your fucking statistics.
Copy !req
380. Statistics?
Copy !req
381. - This is about janey.
- So...
Copy !req
382. For our daughter,
you would kill millions of people.
Copy !req
383. - Don't do that.
- Billions of people.
Copy !req
384. - Don't do that.
- Other mothers who are just like you.
Copy !req
385. Other daughters, just like our daughter!
Copy !req
386. Wouldn't you?
Copy !req
387. For janey.
Copy !req
388. Wouldn't you?
Copy !req
389. There are worse people
out there than me, Coop.
Copy !req
390. Who?
Copy !req
391. Who could possibly be worse than you?
Copy !req
392. Not much of an appetite.
Copy !req
393. Betty.
Copy !req
394. I want you to get me
every bit of information you can
Copy !req
395. about how the cold fusion diode
is stored at vault-tec.
Copy !req
396. Oh.
Copy !req
397. How is it secured?
Copy !req
398. Who monitors it?
Copy !req
399. Everything.
Copy !req
400. Is that a good idea?
Copy !req
401. None of this is a good idea.
Copy !req
402. You're just a very replaceable
part in this machine.
Copy !req
403. I'm sorry. Who are you?
Copy !req
404. But if you forget your place
in the company
Copy !req
405. you'll die,
Copy !req
406. and so will your family.
Copy !req
407. The same will happen to me
Copy !req
408. if I don't communicate this message.
Copy !req
409. We're all in the same boat,
Copy !req
410. and not one of us can stop it.
You know that.
Copy !req
411. You wake up knowing it.
Copy !req
412. The leaders of the most powerful
corporations will be gathering here,
Copy !req
413. and when they do
Copy !req
414. you tell them
Copy !req
415. the only way to guarantee results is...
Copy !req
416. By dropping the bomb ourselves.
Copy !req
417. Who threatened you?
Copy !req
418. Please, Coop, you don't need
to get involved in any of this.
Copy !req
419. Who controls vault-tec?
Copy !req
420. I don't know.
Copy !req
421. Well, let's find out.
Copy !req
422. No, no, no, no, no.
Copy !req
423. This is not one of your movies
with a happy ending.
Copy !req
424. There is nothing we can do.
Copy !req
425. If there was, I would have done it.
I tried to do it.
Copy !req
426. This deal is going forward,
whether we like it or not.
Copy !req
427. Please look at me.
Copy !req
428. I am your wife.
Copy !req
429. You know me.
Copy !req
430. You know me.
Copy !req
431. I don't.
Copy !req
432. I don't know you, Barbara.
Copy !req
433. Where are you going?
Copy !req
434. To fucking do something.
Copy !req
435. Nothing to worry about, folks.
Copy !req
436. My daughter is here
to pursue the cause of justice,
Copy !req
437. and we like justice, don't we?
Copy !req
438. Yes.
Copy !req
439. Yes.
Copy !req
440. Where did you find them all?
Copy !req
441. Oh.
Copy !req
442. All over.
Copy !req
443. So many people need our help.
Copy !req
444. Like... Marjorie.
Copy !req
445. - Hi.
- Hey.
Copy !req
446. You used to be kind of a murderer, right?
Copy !req
447. I guess.
Copy !req
448. Now she's a pencil sharpener,
and a darn good one.
Copy !req
449. Oh, sherman and Gregory
were from opposing tribes.
Copy !req
450. If they'd met each other a month ago,
they'd have killed each other.
Copy !req
451. And Rita.
Copy !req
452. Hmm.
Copy !req
453. She used to cook people for the legion.
Copy !req
454. Now she makes trail mix
and, boy, is it tasty.
Copy !req
455. You're gonna have to try some.
Copy !req
456. Oh, um... uh
Copy !req
457. I'm okay.
Copy !req
458. Thank you, Rita. Come on.
Copy !req
459. We're getting outta here.
Copy !req
460. Uh, let's go this way.
Copy !req
461. Management perk.
Copy !req
462. When we leave,
we're leaving all of the doors open
Copy !req
463. so they can go home. Understood?
Copy !req
464. You're the boss.
Copy !req
465. Hi, everyone. I just
Copy !req
466. wanna let you know
that you're free now, okay?
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467. You can all go back to the surface now.
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468. Uh, do we have to?
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469. It's dangerous out there.
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470. I agree.
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471. But my daughter's moral code demands it.
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472. But we like it down here.
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473. Yeah. Yeah.
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474. Okay.
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475. Tell you what,
you can stay here as long as you like,
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476. but when we leave,
we're gonna open all the doors.
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477. Right?
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478. Hey, boss!
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479. Uh, sorry to derail the conversation,
just to flag,
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480. what are we doing with these two males?
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481. Uh, they haven't been fixed yet.
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482. Should I just go ahead and do it now?
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483. Great question.
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484. All he needs to do is push a button.
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485. No.
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486. Okey do key. Send them off as is.
It's what she wants.
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487. Okey do key!
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488. No, wait! Wait, no!
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489. Ncr host is!
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490. This is exactly the kind
of violence I'm trying to prevent.
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491. I wish we could all just get along,
don't you, sugarbomb?
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492. No, no, no, no, no, no.
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493. Come on.
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494. Pencil?
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495. No, don't.
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496. Stop them!
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497. Press the button. It's the only way.
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498. Damn it!
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499. Hey there, buddy. You okay?
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500. Well, I seem to have...
Found myself in a bit of a jam.
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501. Could you help me out?
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502. Sure.
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503. But what are you doing here?
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504. Oh, jeez.
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505. - Why, thank you.
- Sure, sure.
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506. Let's get you some help.
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507. Looks like it stings.
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508. Yeah. Yeah.
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509. Kumbaya.
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510. You just need to sit down.
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511. Okay.
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512. Let's find you...
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513. - This is nice.
- A comfortable chair.
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514. It's big...
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515. - Here we go.
- Okay.
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516. Oh, yeah, that's good. Thank you.
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517. Thanks.
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518. Wow.
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519. Oh, man.
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520. Thanks for having me over, Coop.
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521. You know, for some reason,
I didn't think you liked me very much.
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522. I hope you like it strong, cowboy.
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523. Oh, yeah.
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524. Thank you.
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525. What is this?
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526. Hank? Hank?
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527. Hey, Hank, hey, hey. Hey, what is this?
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528. Hank.
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529. Is that...
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530. Fuck.
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531. Fuck.
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532. Hey.
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533. We were just a plain ol' hillbilly band.
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534. With a plain ol' country style.
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535. We never played the kind of songs.
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536. Based on th e video game series
fallout
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537. that'd drive anybody wild.
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538. Played a railroad song
with a stomping beat.
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539. We played a blues song
kinda slow and sweet.
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540. But the thing that
knocked them off of their feet was.
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541. Ooh-wee.
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542. When Luther played the boogie-woogie.
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543. Luther played the boogie-woogie.
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544. Luther played the boogie-woogie.
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545. Luther played the boogie-woogie.
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546. Luther played the boogie-woogie.
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547. Luther played the boogie-woogie.
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548. Luther played the boogie-woogie.
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549. Luther played the boogie
in the strangest kind of way.
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550. Play it strange.
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551. Well, we did our best to entertain.
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552. Everywhere we'd go
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