1. The audience—
Copy !req
2. they want to see that even
Copy !req
3. a good man as yourself can be
Copy !req
4. - driven too far.
- Yeah, I understand that,
but that's not really my thing.
Copy !req
5. Why can't you move?
Copy !req
6. Someone stole my fusion core.
Copy !req
7. What are you suggesting?
Copy !req
8. We travel together, get the head
and take it to the Brotherhood.
Copy !req
9. In exchange, you'll lend me the services
of your knights to save my father.
Copy !req
10. You know, I've never
done an advertisement before
Copy !req
11. in my life.
Copy !req
12. I wonder if anyone survived.
Copy !req
13. I did.
Copy !req
14. Lucy!
Copy !req
15. Where are we?
Copy !req
16. We're in the best place in the world.
Copy !req
17. We're in a vault.
Copy !req
18. Oh.
Copy !req
19. Hello there.
Copy !req
20. Yep, it's me, Cooper Howard,
Copy !req
21. star of stage and screen.
Copy !req
22. But I'm not here today
to talk to you about my latest picture.
Copy !req
23. No, today I'm here to show you
a vast and wonderful place,
Copy !req
24. not made by God Almighty
but the working man.
Copy !req
25. A veritable Camelot of the nuclear age.
Copy !req
26. Now, how 'bout we turn on some lights.
Copy !req
27. There, that's better.
Copy !req
28. Now, I'm speaking to you from
deep inside the fully-livable
Copy !req
29. Model 96JQ1164.
Copy !req
30. And what a beaut she is.
Copy !req
31. And what a song she sings.
Copy !req
32. Now, that right there
is Vault 4's three-foot-thick lead casing.
Copy !req
33. Strong enough to keep out the rads
Copy !req
34. and the Reds.
Copy !req
35. Each one of these underground burghs
Copy !req
36. comes with all the modern amenities
you've come to expect
Copy !req
37. from our rip-roarin' republic.
Copy !req
38. Now, this corridor here
is Sycamore Street,
Copy !req
39. where you'll wave howdy
to any one of your 200 neighbors
Copy !req
40. on your way home for an enchanted evening
with your loved ones.
Copy !req
41. Mm.
Copy !req
42. Meet the Hawthornes.
Copy !req
43. Now, this isn't just your average
all-American family.
Copy !req
44. No, Lloyd and Cassandra here
are both scientists,
Copy !req
45. specializing in the effects of radiation
on human DNA.
Copy !req
46. That's right.
Copy !req
47. And we'll be living
and working right here in Vault 4,
Copy !req
48. leading a community
governed entirely by scientists.
Copy !req
49. Wait a second,
did you say "living down here"?
Copy !req
50. Well, there hasn't been
a nuclear incident, has there?
Copy !req
51. Uh, no, not yet.
Copy !req
52. But, uh, our family
and a group of 80 volunteers
Copy !req
53. will be conducting
a five-year trial of Vault 4.
Copy !req
54. To demonstrate to the world that,
Copy !req
55. no matter what comes our way,
Copy !req
56. America will be ready.
Copy !req
57. Five years.
Copy !req
58. Well, I may play a hero
in the movies, but...
Copy !req
59. you all are heroes in real life.
Copy !req
60. And now you can be a hero, too.
Copy !req
61. By purchasing a residence
in a Vault-Tec vault today.
Copy !req
62. Because if the worst
should happen tomorrow,
Copy !req
63. the world is gonna need
Americans just like you
Copy !req
64. to build a better day after.
Copy !req
65. And cut.
Copy !req
66. That was a great take. You happy?
Copy !req
67. Fellas, are you happy?
Copy !req
68. All right. Gary, I'm wrapped, right?
Copy !req
69. - Yes, sir.
- Uh, how'd we do?
Copy !req
70. - We were so nervous.
- Aw, you did great.
Copy !req
71. Yeah, it was really lovely to meet you.
Thanks for coming out.
Copy !req
72. Thank you so much. Good to meet you.
Copy !req
73. - Mr. Howard, great work today.
- Ah.
Copy !req
74. Oh, thanks. Thanks, man.
Copy !req
75. Bud Askins. I oversee
our Southern California operations.
Copy !req
76. - Ah.
- I, uh, came over to Vault-Tec
Copy !req
77. in Q3 after a ten-year stint at West Tek.
Copy !req
78. - West Tek.
Copy !req
79. It's a defense contractor.
Copy !req
80. Oh, I'm, uh, very familiar with you guys.
Copy !req
81. You designed the T-45 power armor.
Copy !req
82. First of its kind.
Copy !req
83. No, I-I oversaw the-the rollout.
Copy !req
84. You know, the design flaws
were ridiculous, but...
Copy !req
85. - they sure looked great.
- I wore the T-45
Copy !req
86. when we almost lost the great state
of Alaska to the Reds.
Copy !req
87. Those design flaws of yours cost
a lot of good men and women their lives.
Copy !req
88. Yeah. Product management was never my bag.
Copy !req
89. I'm more focused on HR R&D now.
Copy !req
90. Overseeing workflow optimization
of management timelines.
Copy !req
91. I'm all about scale.
Copy !req
92. Most people think scale means
increasing global market share.
Copy !req
93. That's thinking in three dimensions,
and I'm talking about four.
Copy !req
94. Because what is the ultimate weapon
to destroy your competition?
Copy !req
95. It's not outselling them.
It's not outsmarting them.
Copy !req
96. It's time.
Copy !req
97. - Hmm.
- Time...
Copy !req
98. - is the ultimate weapon.
- Uh-huh.
Copy !req
99. - Yeah.
Sounds complicated,
Copy !req
100. but the future of all humanity
comes down to one word.
Copy !req
101. Yeah, what's that?
Copy !req
102. Management.
Copy !req
103. - Well, I'm awful happy for you, Buck.
Copy !req
104. Bud. Bud Askins.
Copy !req
105. - Hey.
- Ooh!
Copy !req
106. Mmm.
Copy !req
107. I'm at work.
Copy !req
108. - Oh, how 'bout we clock out?
Copy !req
109. - Oh.
- Huh? Nothing against
these colleagues of yours,
Copy !req
110. but what do you say you and me knock back
a couple of piña coladas by the pool,
Copy !req
111. - listen to the hi-fi.
- Mm.
Copy !req
112. There is a wrap party.
Copy !req
113. What, a... a wrap party?
Copy !req
114. - For this?
- Yes.
Copy !req
115. All right. We go for a couple of hours,
Copy !req
116. we shake a few hands—
Copy !req
117. It's at our house.
Copy !req
118. The things
I'm willing to do for you
Copy !req
119. never cease to amaze me.
Copy !req
120. Mm.
Copy !req
121. Roosevelt, I'm sorry.
You can't come, buddy.
Copy !req
122. I'm heading into enemy territory.
Copy !req
123. You be a good dog.
Copy !req
124. Go to bed.
Copy !req
125. Yeah, A Man and His Dog—
that movie's great.
Copy !req
126. Mm. Yeah. I love that one, too.
Copy !req
127. It was my real dog.
Copy !req
128. Beautiful home, Mr. Howard.
Copy !req
129. Thank you.
Copy !req
130. Did Cooper Howard just walk by?
Copy !req
131. He was so good in that movie.
Copy !req
132. Oh, it's him!
Copy !req
133. Mr. Howard. Hello.
Copy !req
134. Negotiations in Anchorage are having
a serious impact on presales.
Copy !req
135. We'll have to circle up with D.C.
about that.
Copy !req
136. Ideally before our quarterly
projection release.
Copy !req
137. Mr. Howard. Mr. Howard.
Copy !req
138. Bud Askins.
Copy !req
139. Right.
Copy !req
140. Would you mind, you know,
doing the butler voice?
Copy !req
141. - From the show?
- All right.
Copy !req
142. I only do it for close friends
and beautiful women,
Copy !req
143. but you two are already halfway there.
Copy !req
144. - Stop it.
Copy !req
145. "I, Bartholomew Codsworth,
am ever ready to serve."
Copy !req
146. - Hoo-hoo!
- Perhaps
Copy !req
147. when you finish your shift,
we could head up and party in the hot tub.
Copy !req
148. What do you think of that?
Copy !req
149. - Oh, no, no. No, thank you.
- No?
Copy !req
150. Okay.
Copy !req
151. All right.
Copy !req
152. Excuse me. Your wine.
Copy !req
153. Well, shit, Seabass.
Copy !req
154. You might be the only one of my invites
who actually showed up.
Copy !req
155. - Yeah.
Copy !req
156. - Not our usual scene, I'll give you that.
- No, it is not.
Copy !req
157. I think our Hollywood actor friends
don't want to be seen
Copy !req
158. celebrating with the pitchman
for the end of the world.
Copy !req
159. Oh, you don't know the half of it.
Copy !req
160. You hear I lost a movie over these ads?
Copy !req
161. Yeah, showed up to set,
Copy !req
162. the actors wouldn't
come out of their trailers.
Copy !req
163. Bonnie Lewis said it was on moral grounds.
Copy !req
164. Bonnie Lewis?
Copy !req
165. She's done more ads
than a fucking billboard.
Copy !req
166. - Yeah.
- Fucking Hollywood Reds.
Copy !req
167. I'm telling you, radicalism
is sweeping through Hollywood
Copy !req
168. like a bad case of the clap.
Copy !req
169. Even got your friend, Charlie Whiteknife.
Copy !req
170. Are you kidding me? Charlie?
Copy !req
171. - Mm.
- I served
Copy !req
172. - with that guy.
- They have meetings
Copy !req
173. and everything.
Copy !req
174. It's a shit show.
Copy !req
175. But you, my friend,
Copy !req
176. you know which way the wind is blowing.
Copy !req
177. And it's that—
Copy !req
178. a world run by people who wear
pocket protectors to a pool party.
Copy !req
179. about delivery platforms.
Copy !req
180. Yeah, you might be right about that.
Copy !req
181. I mean, I've dipped my bits
in the same gravy train.
Copy !req
182. Sold my vocal rights to that
Copy !req
183. spinning robot they sell
to housewives and perverts.
Copy !req
184. Guess how much they paid me for that.
Copy !req
185. Ten million?
Copy !req
186. No, I got 186, pre-tax.
Copy !req
187. Maybe you could've asked for more.
Copy !req
188. Well, I did ask for more.
Copy !req
189. And what did they say?
Copy !req
190. My agent got them
to throw in one of those robots.
Copy !req
191. - The fuck
Copy !req
192. were they thinking?
Every time I walk into my own house,
Copy !req
193. my own voice saying,
"Hello, sir, do you want to sit down?"
Copy !req
194. It's fucking awful!
Copy !req
195. I thought the studio owned that character.
Copy !req
196. They did.
And then RobCo bought the studio.
Copy !req
197. - Mm.
- Listen to me,
Copy !req
198. Hollywood is the past. Forget Hollywood.
Copy !req
199. The future, my friend, is products.
Copy !req
200. You're a product. I'm a product.
Copy !req
201. The end of the world is a product.
Copy !req
202. Oh.
Copy !req
203. And for those of us
who can successfully embrace that,
Copy !req
204. I'd say the future is golden.
Copy !req
205. To the future.
Copy !req
206. To the future.
Copy !req
207. I, Bar-Bartholomew Codsworth,
Copy !req
208. am ever ready to serve.
Copy !req
209. Why, hello there, boys.
Copy !req
210. Now, y'all here for the ice cream social,
Copy !req
211. I'm afraid I got some bad news for you.
Copy !req
212. Let's get to-to it, shall we-shall we?
Copy !req
213. Wai-Wai-Waiting.
Copy !req
214. Take its fusion core.
Copy !req
215. There's no fudge here,
Copy !req
216. o-only a General Atomics Inter—
Copy !req
217. Destroying a legitimate business?
Copy !req
218. That's illegal round these parts.
Copy !req
219. Says who?
Copy !req
220. The government.
Copy !req
221. Using teeth for ammunition.
Copy !req
222. Always finding new ways
to kill each other up there, aren't they?
Copy !req
223. We'll need, uh, an antibiotic.
Copy !req
224. I know you mentioned
you're eager to keep moving,
Copy !req
225. but your friend is gonna have to
recover here for a couple of days
Copy !req
226. before it's safe to travel.
Copy !req
227. I'm fine. I'm fine.
Copy !req
228. You had a rotten human tooth
lodged in your shoulder.
Copy !req
229. You're not fine.
Copy !req
230. Titus, this is a vault doctor.
Copy !req
231. We should listen to his advice.
Copy !req
232. We can't thank you enough
for letting us in and taking care of us.
Copy !req
233. It's what we do here.
Copy !req
234. Oh, and we found his armor.
Copy !req
235. Our surface foragers
are bringing it back now.
Copy !req
236. Oh, that's great. Thank you.
Copy !req
237. It's not ideal for us to stay put,
Copy !req
238. but, I got to admit,
it sure feels good to be back in a vault.
Copy !req
239. I don't know
if you've been to the surface, but...
Copy !req
240. it is...
Copy !req
241. not good.
Copy !req
242. I was born on the surface.
Copy !req
243. Oh.
Copy !req
244. Uh, sorry.
Copy !req
245. I-I didn't know. You seem so—
Copy !req
246. Normal?
Copy !req
247. - My mother was a courier.
Copy !req
248. I was 11 and traveled with her to Filly.
Copy !req
249. Three days' walk from home and we
could still feel the heat from the blast.
Copy !req
250. You're from Shady Sands.
Copy !req
251. Many of us are.
Copy !req
252. We were lucky to find such
a hospitable community here in Vault 4.
Copy !req
253. Yeah. So were we.
Copy !req
254. We just need you to stay
in quarantine a few hours longer
Copy !req
255. to make sure
you don't track in any contamination.
Copy !req
256. Thank you so much.
Copy !req
257. You smell good.
Copy !req
258. What?
Copy !req
259. Oh.
Copy !req
260. You want to have sex?
Copy !req
261. You mean use my cock?
Copy !req
262. Yeah.
Copy !req
263. I don't know.
Uh, that weird thing could happen.
Copy !req
264. What weird thing?
Copy !req
265. Well, it's just, for some guys— not me—
Copy !req
266. uh, but for some guys, you know,
when they make it move,
Copy !req
267. it gets all big and hard
like a big pimple and then it pops.
Copy !req
268. And they say it can happen
to anybody, but it's still, it's...
Copy !req
269. it's gross.
Copy !req
270. You know, that's... uh,
that's actually completely normal.
Copy !req
271. It happens all the time.
Copy !req
272. Every time, ideally.
Copy !req
273. I'm a knight.
Copy !req
274. Um, a knight of the Brotherhood.
Copy !req
275. We're-we're not supposed to.
Copy !req
276. Okey dokey.
Copy !req
277. Mind if I sit down?
Copy !req
278. Mmm.
Copy !req
279. We shouldn't be wasting time down here.
Copy !req
280. You heard the doctor.
Copy !req
281. Besides, we made a deal
to find that head together,
Copy !req
282. and you're no good to me dead.
Copy !req
283. - Also, I would feel bad.
- I think these people
are trying to trap us here.
Copy !req
284. No, they're not.
Copy !req
285. And some of these people
are from the surface, like you.
Copy !req
286. - Ah.
- Hi.
Copy !req
287. This is a cult. Same as any.
Copy !req
288. It's not a cult.
Copy !req
289. - Everyone's smiling.
- Titus, this is a safe place,
Copy !req
290. where people take care of each other.
Copy !req
291. But why?
Copy !req
292. Well, because in the vaults,
Copy !req
293. we recognize that
we all need each other,
Copy !req
294. just like I needed you on the surface.
Copy !req
295. Now, we're stuck here
until you're able to travel.
Copy !req
296. So, give this place a shot?
Copy !req
297. Sorry to interrupt your breakfast,
but our overseer
Copy !req
298. wanted to say a quick hello.
Copy !req
299. Overseer Benjamin, this is Lucy and Titus.
Copy !req
300. Hey, guys. Just wanted to say hi.
Copy !req
301. - Hello.
- And obviously, welcome to Vault 4.
Copy !req
302. Just some housekeeping,
a few things to be aware of.
Copy !req
303. Stay out of Level 12, obviously.
Copy !req
304. We'd prefer you not go there.
Copy !req
305. Oh, and we only have one foosball table,
so if you want to play,
Copy !req
306. you got to sign up.
Copy !req
307. If there's no pencil on the sign-up sheet,
please let me know.
Copy !req
308. I do have pencils.
Copy !req
309. Uh, oh, and if you're unfamiliar
with how the bathrooms work, just ask.
Copy !req
310. Asking is less embarrassing
than getting it wrong. Trust me.
Copy !req
311. We've had incident after incident
with newcomers.
Copy !req
312. - Okay, that should cover it.
Copy !req
313. Any questions or concerns beyond foosball
or pencils or bathrooms,
Copy !req
314. Birdie's available.
Copy !req
315. And once again, welcome to Vault 4.
Copy !req
316. We're glad to have you.
Copy !req
317. - Thank you.
Mm.
Copy !req
318. Mm.
Copy !req
319. That was weird, right?
Copy !req
320. - The overseer?
- That's what I'm saying.
Copy !req
321. - When people are nice—
- No.
Copy !req
322. Titus, I'm... I'm talking about his eye.
Copy !req
323. Lots of people have one eye.
Copy !req
324. Well, yeah, but...
Copy !req
325. I mean, his was in the middle.
Copy !req
326. A little to the left.
Copy !req
327. And the Level 12 stuff? I mean...
Copy !req
328. Oh.
Copy !req
329. Sorry.
Copy !req
330. Have a nice day.
Copy !req
331. Doesn't get any better than this.
Copy !req
332. Nope. It does not.
Copy !req
333. Mmm.
Copy !req
334. You ever... think about working
somewhere else?
Copy !req
335. I used to.
Copy !req
336. But with you doing these ads, it's...
it's practically the family business.
Copy !req
337. Maybe we get Janey a job in payroll
Copy !req
338. - when she's 15.
Sit.
Copy !req
339. - Oh, that's a good puppy.
Copy !req
340. I think about it. Quitting showbiz.
Copy !req
341. Buying us a ranch up in Bakersfield.
Copy !req
342. Get back to being a real cowboy again.
Copy !req
343. And what would I do?
Copy !req
344. You would look pretty.
Copy !req
345. And help me raise chickens.
Copy !req
346. No.
Copy !req
347. You would look very good
in a pair of overalls.
Copy !req
348. What's gotten into you?
Copy !req
349. A gin martini.
Copy !req
350. I don't know.
Copy !req
351. Maybe I've been reading
too much news lately.
Copy !req
352. Got me second-guessing
the whole city life.
Copy !req
353. Oh, come on.
Copy !req
354. Y-You've seen these around.
Copy !req
355. Not on you, I haven't.
Copy !req
356. Bud Askins— he licensed them from RobCo.
Copy !req
357. We're integrating them
with the Vault-Tec admission systems.
Copy !req
358. - Bud Askins.
- Bud Askins. Trust me, I know.
Copy !req
359. The company's filled with guys like him.
Copy !req
360. But Vault-Tec exists with or without me.
Copy !req
361. Doesn't do anyone any good
to complain from the sidelines.
Copy !req
362. All I'm saying is we have this one life.
Copy !req
363. Do you really want to spend your
nine-to-fives working with these assholes?
Copy !req
364. I need this job, Coop.
Copy !req
365. - It guarantees us a spot in the vaults.
- We got money.
Copy !req
366. We can buy a spot in the vaults.
Copy !req
367. One of the good vaults.
Copy !req
368. What's that supposed to mean?
Copy !req
369. I'm doing what I can, okay?
Copy !req
370. Just... trust me.
Copy !req
371. Please.
Copy !req
372. Yeah.
Copy !req
373. As all nations race
Copy !req
374. to secure uranium
and control the future of energy,
Copy !req
375. a shortage has emerged,
turning even allies
Copy !req
376. into potential competitors.
Copy !req
377. Will energy prices surge this winter
Copy !req
378. - and will it lead to an expanded war?
Copy !req
379. Details after a word
from our newest sponsor...
Copy !req
380. Sorry you couldn't make it
to the party the other night, Charlie.
Copy !req
381. Guess you had one of your meetings, huh?
Copy !req
382. One of your Communist meetings?
Come on, man.
Copy !req
383. We watched people die together up north
fighting against all that horseshit.
Copy !req
384. Yeah, and for what?
Copy !req
385. What do you mean, for what?
For the American dream.
Copy !req
386. We're actors.
We make movies, Charlie.
Copy !req
387. Yeah, the American dream has me
getting shot in the ass by you all day.
Copy !req
388. You got five acres in Tarzana.
I think you're doing all right.
Copy !req
389. It don't matter, Coop.
Copy !req
390. - Vault-Tec's the fucking devil, man.
- My wife works there.
Copy !req
391. - You really think Barb's the devil?
- No, no, okay, I...
Copy !req
392. I like Barb, okay?
Copy !req
393. Do you know what
"fiduciary responsibility" means?
Copy !req
394. - Fiduciary responsibility?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
395. No, I have no fucking idea.
Copy !req
396. I play a cowboy for a living.
Copy !req
397. Okay.
So, the U.S. government has outsourced
Copy !req
398. the survival of the human race
to Vault-Tec.
Copy !req
399. - Vault-Tec is a private corporation
Copy !req
400. that has a fiduciary responsibility
to make money for its investors.
Copy !req
401. And how does it make money?
Copy !req
402. - By selling vaults.
- That's called capitalism, Charlie.
Copy !req
403. But they can't sell vaults
if these peace negotiations go through.
Copy !req
404. So Vault-Tec
has a fiduciary responsibility
Copy !req
405. to make sure that it don't work out.
Copy !req
406. Yeah. How they gonna do that?
Copy !req
407. I don't know.
Copy !req
408. You remember that movie
we did with Johnny Morton—
Copy !req
409. you were the sheriff
and I was some generic Indian?
Copy !req
410. Come on, man, don't say that.
Tallhand Mudlake could talk to horses.
Copy !req
411. You played him with grace
and with dignity.
Copy !req
412. It was a great role for you.
Copy !req
413. Morton played a rancher
who owned half of Missouri.
Copy !req
414. And what happens when the cattle ranchers
have more power than the sheriff?
Copy !req
415. - The whole town burns down.
- The whole town burns down. Right.
Copy !req
416. Vault-Tec is a trillion dollar company
that owns half of everything.
Copy !req
417. And after ten years of war,
the U.S. government is broker than a joke.
Copy !req
418. The cattle ranchers are in charge, Coop.
Copy !req
419. Oh, come on.
Copy !req
420. Unless the people do something about it.
Copy !req
421. I guess everything's a conspiracy, right?
Copy !req
422. - Come on, man,
you sound like you're in a cult.
- And you're sitting here
Copy !req
423. defending a system that's ready
to set the world on fire, Cooper.
Copy !req
424. Maybe you're the one in the cult.
Copy !req
425. Look.
Copy !req
426. You should come to a meeting.
Copy !req
427. You should learn the truth
about where your wife works.
Copy !req
428. For her sake.
Copy !req
429. Bartender, can I get one more?
Copy !req
430. - Hello?
Hello! May I speak to Barb, please?
Copy !req
431. - Who is it?
- It's Henry.
Copy !req
432. Henry from the Vault-Tec
assistant training program.
Copy !req
433. Is this Mr. Cooper Howard?
Copy !req
434. Uh, I'm sorry, Henry, but my wife prefers
not to take work calls in the evenings.
Copy !req
435. Oh, no, no, no, uh,
it'll just be a few minutes.
Copy !req
436. - Okay. All right, bye-bye.
- I have some questions for her. I don't—
Copy !req
437. Uh, that was Henry. From work.
Copy !req
438. Do you have a... a new assistant?
Copy !req
439. Yeah, I do.
Copy !req
440. Yeah? Is Janey asleep?
Copy !req
441. Uh, she's reading
Little House on the Prairie to Roosevelt.
Copy !req
442. Ah. Does he like it?
Copy !req
443. What?
Copy !req
444. It's going to be hard on her, that's all.
Copy !req
445. What is?
Copy !req
446. You know, no dogs in the vaults.
Copy !req
447. Says who?
Copy !req
448. Hmm?
Copy !req
449. No dogs in the vaults. Says who?
Copy !req
450. Well... that's just
Copy !req
451. the, um... that's the policy.
Copy !req
452. You know, dogs eat meat.
Copy !req
453. It's an avoidable inefficiency.
Copy !req
454. Ah.
Copy !req
455. Yeah.
Copy !req
456. That's not really the question, is it?
Copy !req
457. All I'm asking is
Copy !req
458. who decided that
there were no dogs in the vault?
Copy !req
459. Well, I think that
is a relatively trivial concern,
Copy !req
460. given the prerequisite conditions
of us living in
Copy !req
461. a nuclear fallout shelter.
Copy !req
462. Well, you know, I'm not sure that it is,
to be quite honest.
Copy !req
463. What?
Copy !req
464. I'm serious.
Copy !req
465. Who-who ma— who makes the rules?
Copy !req
466. Because no dogs allowed—
that is a new rule.
Copy !req
467. Somebody decided that
and didn't share it with fucking anyone.
Copy !req
468. I mean, what else
do you have in store for us?
Copy !req
469. Are the-are the blue jumpsuits—
Copy !req
470. are those mandatory? What if
I don't want to wear a blue jumpsuit?
Copy !req
471. - What if I want to wear a green one?
- So the bomb falls,
Copy !req
472. and you want to know about your wardrobe?
Copy !req
473. No, I want to know about my freedom.
Copy !req
474. I didn't go to war defending that freedom
Copy !req
475. so that I could live in a cellar
under the boot heel
Copy !req
476. of Chairman Bud Askins.
Copy !req
477. And while you were away at war,
I stayed home.
Copy !req
478. - I know you—
- I was checking the mail
Copy !req
479. - every day.
- I know.
Copy !req
480. I was waiting by the phone every night.
Copy !req
481. And every night I was driving myself crazy
Copy !req
482. imagining the worst.
Copy !req
483. So, you do not need to tell me
how bad war is, Coop.
Copy !req
484. Every day I go into work and I think about
Copy !req
485. how humanity can survive a nuclear event
Copy !req
486. that will wipe out 90% of life on earth
and I come home
Copy !req
487. and you're talking to me about
hiding out at a ranch up in Bakersfield.
Copy !req
488. You know, I don't even know
what planet you're on sometimes, Coop.
Copy !req
489. But when the bombs drop,
a two-hour drive ain't gonna cut it.
Copy !req
490. So yes, there will be no dogs
in the vaults.
Copy !req
491. And no, none of it is ideal.
Copy !req
492. But if billions of people
are going to lose their lives,
Copy !req
493. I will do whatever it takes
to make sure the people I love—
Copy !req
494. that is you and that is Janey—
Copy !req
495. aren't among them.
Copy !req
496. I have worked hard
Copy !req
497. to make sure we go into
Copy !req
498. a special vault for management,
Copy !req
499. where we will oversee
all of the other vaults.
Copy !req
500. You don't get it.
That is the best we can possibly hope for.
Copy !req
501. For Janey.
Copy !req
502. Hey, hey.
Copy !req
503. - Hey, hey, hey.
Copy !req
504. Come here.
Copy !req
505. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
506. I know you always
try to do the right thing.
Copy !req
507. That's what I love about you.
Copy !req
508. And when you turn the little handle
up top, it all goes away.
Copy !req
509. Yep, that's...
Copy !req
510. - how a toilet works.
- Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
511. I'm-I'm actually from a vault.
Copy !req
512. You're what?
Copy !req
513. - I'm from a vault.
- So you are.
Copy !req
514. - Goosey MacLean.
- Oh, no, no. It's-it's Lucy.
Copy !req
515. Nope, it says Goosey. Hmm.
Copy !req
516. But hey, that's something.
Copy !req
517. You don't meet a natural-born
vault dweller every day.
Copy !req
518. We're a dying breed.
Copy !req
519. Oh, you're... you're from here?
Copy !req
520. - Five generations, and proud of it.
- Ah.
Copy !req
521. I just thought because...
Copy !req
522. Because so many, uh, people here
seem to be refugees
Copy !req
523. - from the surface.
- Tell me about it.
Copy !req
524. Ooh. These people.
Copy !req
525. Am I right?
Copy !req
526. I grabbed a moldy one.
Copy !req
527. - What do you mean by that?
- Well,
Copy !req
528. you won't find anyone
more open-minded than me,
Copy !req
529. but they come in here
with their smelly food
Copy !req
530. and their weird ideas.
Copy !req
531. You're from a vault. You get it.
Copy !req
532. I-I don't understand.
If you don't like people from the surface
Copy !req
533. then why do you keep taking them in?
Copy !req
534. It's a policy from before my time.
Copy !req
535. But these newcomers, ooh, let me tell you,
Copy !req
536. if you want to get elected,
you have to respect their traditions
Copy !req
537. and tolerate them
and not call them "surfies." It's awful.
Copy !req
538. What, you don't
take in surface dwellers in your vault?
Copy !req
539. Well, to be honest, no, we don't.
Copy !req
540. - What is that like?
- No,
Copy !req
541. I think what you're doing here
is a really good thing.
Copy !req
542. I saw what was left of Shady Sands.
Copy !req
543. An entire city just destroyed
in an instant. It...
Copy !req
544. I mean, some of these people
lost everything.
Copy !req
545. And that was a tragedy.
Copy !req
546. So we took our share of them in
and gave them a home
Copy !req
547. because it's what we do.
Copy !req
548. But it's like you can't
make a funny joke about it
Copy !req
549. without offending these guys.
Copy !req
550. I mean, one funny joke I told
on maybe ten occasions.
Copy !req
551. - What was the joke?
Copy !req
552. I forget.
Copy !req
553. All I know is it was a huge bomb.
Copy !req
554. Pretty good, right?
Copy !req
555. Oh, she doesn't get it.
Copy !req
556. Any other questions?
Copy !req
557. I do have one. Uh...
Copy !req
558. What's on Level 12
and why can't we go there?
Copy !req
559. We don't talk about that.
Copy !req
560. - Geez, what's the matter with you?
- Sorry, I—
Copy !req
561. - I just—
- You should go now.
Copy !req
562. - I only wanted to—
- Goodbye, Goosey.
Copy !req
563. Skedaddle.
Copy !req
564. Hey.
Copy !req
565. Where do you guys get your power from?
Copy !req
566. I see you found our fusion core.
Copy !req
567. How are we adjusting to life down here?
Copy !req
568. Does it matter?
Copy !req
569. I'm leaving soon.
Copy !req
570. Aren't I?
Copy !req
571. Some people who come here
have a hard time adjusting
Copy !req
572. to finally feeling safe.
Copy !req
573. All the things you've had to do to survive
still fresh in your mind.
Copy !req
574. Trust doesn't come easily to those of us
with a guilty conscience.
Copy !req
575. Here.
Copy !req
576. Unit 428.
Copy !req
577. How about you sleep in a room
of your own tonight?
Copy !req
578. Have a hot shower.
Copy !req
579. Nothing wrong with
a little bit of comfort.
Copy !req
580. Um, when you say "hot shower,"
what does-what does that mean, exactly?
Copy !req
581. Excuse me.
Copy !req
582. Yes.
Copy !req
583. What is this?
Copy !req
584. It's almost starting.
Copy !req
585. Oh, uh, excuse me?
Copy !req
586. What's going on?
Copy !req
587. It's a Surface Dweller tradition.
Copy !req
588. It can get a little rambunctious
for my taste.
Copy !req
589. You're welcome to come.
Copy !req
590. Sure.
Copy !req
591. Well, shit.
Copy !req
592. Why, Sorrel Booker.
Copy !req
593. I heard it was a ghoul
that fucked up that Super Duper Mart.
Copy !req
594. Nobody told me it was the ghoul.
Copy !req
595. Mm. Mm.
Copy !req
596. You boys know who you just brought in?
Copy !req
597. This sumbitch right here
Copy !req
598. used to be the best bounty hunter
to ever shoot a man in the ass.
Copy !req
599. Kids these days don't know
their goddamn history.
Copy !req
600. Say, you got a needle and thread?
Copy !req
601. Sorry,
Copy !req
602. we don't do a lot of knitting 'round here.
Copy !req
603. It's called sewing.
Copy !req
604. I think I got some in my bag.
Copy !req
605. Would you mind?
Copy !req
606. Aw, come on now, Sorrel,
we old friends, ain't we?
Copy !req
607. Look at you. 200 years.
Copy !req
608. I don't know what keeps you going.
Copy !req
609. Maybe you just like the feeling
Copy !req
610. of that good old California sunshine
Copy !req
611. on your wrinkly-ass face.
Copy !req
612. Or maybe you're still looking for her.
Copy !req
613. Well, Sorrel...
Copy !req
614. I can confidently cross
one reason off that list for you.
Copy !req
615. I sure as hell ain't still alive
Copy !req
616. so that I can have
unintelligent conversations
Copy !req
617. with dipshits like yourself.
Copy !req
618. Mind your fucking mouth.
Copy !req
619. That's the president of the government
you're talking to.
Copy !req
620. Oh...
Copy !req
621. You a president now?
Copy !req
622. Don't see why not.
Copy !req
623. Well, then you might
want to hire a publicist.
Copy !req
624. 'Cause this is the first
I'm hearing about this outfit.
Copy !req
625. Now, what I am hearing
is a whole lot of chatter
Copy !req
626. about some woman.
Copy !req
627. Name of Moldaver.
Copy !req
628. They call her the Flame Mother.
Copy !req
629. Now, that bitch is dangerous.
Copy !req
630. Well, when it comes to leadership
these days,
Copy !req
631. dangerous is what they call
a prerequisite.
Copy !req
632. Somebody's got to step up
and bring some order around here.
Copy !req
633. You know why these boys brought you in?
Copy !req
634. 'Cause I fucked up
Copy !req
635. a poor, defenseless
gang-affiliated organ dealership?
Copy !req
636. - Yep.
- Mm.
Copy !req
637. - Now, I've always liked you.
- Well, I've always liked you.
Copy !req
638. Well, ain't that sweet?
But that Super Duper Mart you gutted
Copy !req
639. was under our protection.
Copy !req
640. So, if I wanted to let you go scot-free,
Copy !req
641. folks might lose faith
about what we're trying to do here.
Copy !req
642. And then what?
Copy !req
643. Anarchy in the streets.
Copy !req
644. Exactly.
Copy !req
645. Now, you got anything to say
in your defense?
Copy !req
646. Guilty as charged.
Copy !req
647. Just like that?
Copy !req
648. Just like that.
Copy !req
649. Now, if you need any more evidence,
Copy !req
650. I can tell you about this town
I just shot up, Filly.
Copy !req
651. Oh, I must have killed nine or ten people.
Copy !req
652. My daddy lives in Filly.
Copy !req
653. Well, not no more he don't,
Copy !req
654. unless he's a coward.
Copy !req
655. Don't take the bait, son.
Copy !req
656. Well, I ain't fishing.
I'm just trying to game this out, now.
Copy !req
657. In my experience, the apple
tends not to fall too far from the tree.
Copy !req
658. Is that true in your case?
Copy !req
659. My daddy ain't no coward.
Copy !req
660. Well, then I guess the only question is...
Copy !req
661. are you?
Copy !req
662. Sheriff Rex.
Copy !req
663. Take Sheriff Troy's guns away.
Copy !req
664. Very presidential of you.
Copy !req
665. Take him out back
and feed him to the hogs.
Copy !req
666. Goddamn it.
Copy !req
667. I got one question for you, ol' buddy.
Copy !req
668. Why...
Copy !req
669. do you have this picture on your wall?
Copy !req
670. That's Moldaver.
Copy !req
671. Why?
Copy !req
672. Well, that's not
how I remember her, is all.
Copy !req
673. Yeah?
Copy !req
674. Well, how do you remember her?
Copy !req
675. - Hi.
- Hey.
Copy !req
676. Thanks for coming.
Copy !req
677. Yeah, we'll see if I stay.
Copy !req
678. You'll stay.
Copy !req
679. Flame Mother, we remember.
Copy !req
680. Flame Mother,
Copy !req
681. we remember.
Copy !req
682. We bring back the past
Copy !req
683. as we remember.
Copy !req
684. We bring back the past
as we remember.
Copy !req
685. We bring back Shady Sands...
Copy !req
686. We bring back Shady Sands.
Copy !req
687. - ... as we remember.
As we remember.
Copy !req
688. - We bring back those taken from us.
- We bring back those taken from us.
Copy !req
689. We bring back those taken from us...
Copy !req
690. We bring back those taken from us.
Copy !req
691. by covering ourselves in their ashes.
Copy !req
692. By covering ourselves in their ashes.
Copy !req
693. We bring back those taken from us
Copy !req
694. by covering ourselves in their ashes.
Copy !req
695. By covering ourselves
in their ashes.
Copy !req
696. To bring back Shady Sands,
blood must spill.
Copy !req
697. To bring back Shady Sands,
blood must spill.
Copy !req
698. I think there's somebody you should meet.
Copy !req
699. - Yeah, who's that?
Blood must spill.
Copy !req
700. - Blood must spill.
- Blood must spill.
Copy !req
701. Blood must spill.
Copy !req
702. - Blood must spill.
To bring back Shady Sands,
blood must spill.
Copy !req
703. To bring back Shady Sands,
blood must spill.
Copy !req
704. - Oh, Flame Mother...
- Oh, Flame Mother...
Copy !req
705. Oh, Flame Mother,
you will be our salvation.
Copy !req
706. Oh, Flame Mother, you will be
our salvation.
Copy !req
707. Mr. Howard?
Copy !req
708. Oh, Flame Mother,
Copy !req
709. you will be our salvation.
Copy !req
710. I'm a big fan.
Copy !req
711. Titus?
Copy !req
712. We need to talk...
Copy !req
713. Yes.
Copy !req
714. You were right about this place.
Copy !req
715. No.
Copy !req
716. You were right. Check this out.
These are called oysters.
Copy !req
717. You want one?
They make you feel so good.
Copy !req
718. You want to make my cock explode now?
Copy !req
719. - What?
- Sorry, intercourse?
Copy !req
720. No, Titus.
Copy !req
721. No, we need to leave. Right now.
Copy !req
722. These people are insane.
Copy !req
723. - Yeah, they're like you.
A little weird, but nice.
- No.
Copy !req
724. Plus, my arm. You know, I really...
Copy !req
725. I ought to give it a little more time.
Copy !req
726. Okay. Titus, look,
Copy !req
727. I get why you'd want to stay.
Copy !req
728. Okay? I really do, I...
Copy !req
729. I know this must all seem really nice
compared to the-the shoot show
Copy !req
730. that's up there.
Copy !req
731. I wouldn't blame you
if you wanted to go back on our deal
Copy !req
732. and-and just be somewhere
that is good and safe.
Copy !req
733. But this isn't it.
Copy !req
734. They gave me a robe.
Copy !req
735. I know.
Copy !req
736. And slippers.
Copy !req
737. These people are hiding something from us
Copy !req
738. and I'm gonna prove it to you, okay?
Copy !req
739. I'm not leaving without you.
Copy !req
740. Glad you're all right.
Copy !req
741. When I saw the door was open, I worried
one of you might have gotten out.
Copy !req
742. Hello?
Copy !req
743. Aah!
Copy !req
744. No! You're crazy!
Copy !req
745. You people are crazy!
Your entire culture is insane!
Copy !req
746. I'm sure if we came to your home
Copy !req
747. - we would say the same thing.
Get off!
Copy !req
748. No!
Copy !req