1. When I was 15 going on 16,Copy !req
2. the one thing I wanted most
was a kiss from a girl,Copy !req
3. and I didn't care who it wasCopy !req
4. as long as she wasn't
in my family.Copy !req
5. At the time, I thought
I would only get a kissCopy !req
6. one of a few ways.Copy !req
7. There was
"catch a girl, kiss a girl."Copy !req
8. She ran faster than Flo Jo.Copy !req
9. There was "kiss a girl
and run like hell."Copy !req
10. Huh!Copy !req
11. And there was spin the bottle.Copy !req
12. Ooh!Copy !req
13. Hey, Chris.Copy !req
14. Hey, Tasha.Copy !req
15. Hey, Drew.
Hey.Copy !req
16. Hey, man, you
still like Tasha?Copy !req
17. Does Angelina Jolie
like black babies?Copy !req
18. Yeah.Copy !req
19. You know she plays
spin the bottle.Copy !req
20. You're lying.Copy !req
21. For real.Copy !req
22. Everybody's playing.Copy !req
23. And he meant everybody.Copy !req
24. So, if I can get
in the game,Copy !req
25. maybe I can get
a kiss from her.Copy !req
26. Yeah, if you're lucky.Copy !req
27. If I was lucky,
I wouldn't be countingCopy !req
28. on an empty bottle
to get me a kiss.Copy !req
29. Captioning sponsored byCopy !req
30. Captioning sponsored byCopy !req
31. Have you ever been to a
spin the bottle party?Copy !req
32. Hi. I don't believe
we've met before.Copy !req
33. My name is Greg.Copy !req
34. No, I haven't been
to a spin the bottle party.Copy !req
35. I mean, I haven't
been to a party.Copy !req
36. Why would you
even ask me that?Copy !req
37. Because I'm trying
to get into one.Copy !req
38. Hold on. You do
know what they doCopy !req
39. at those parties, right?Copy !req
40. Yeah. People kiss.Copy !req
41. Oh. I must be thinking of a
different kind of game, then.Copy !req
42. Greg wrote about that party
in his book,Copy !req
43. Ow, There's a Bottle in My...Copy !req
44. So, you ever
kiss anybody?Copy !req
45. Hah. Have I?Copy !req
46. You gotta be kidding me.Copy !req
47. Cousins don't count.Copy !req
48. Oh. Then no.Copy !req
49. Are you sure you really want
to play spin the bottle?Copy !req
50. I mean, there's
always a chanceCopy !req
51. that you'll end up
kissing somebodyCopy !req
52. that's... I don't know.Copy !req
53. Let's just say...Copy !req
54. Ugly!Copy !req
55. I don't think you get it.Copy !req
56. Tasha is at this party.Copy !req
57. There's no guarantee your
spin's gonna land on her.Copy !req
58. Listen, for me
it's a win-win.Copy !req
59. And all I know is,
I'm gonna get a kiss.Copy !req
60. Hey, Mr. Omar.Copy !req
61. Hey.Copy !req
62. Who died?Copy !req
63. Oh. Mr. Abernathy.Copy !req
64. Got decapitated
by a flying hubcap. Tragic.Copy !req
65. Tragic!Copy !req
66. Is that his wife?Copy !req
67. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
68. Mmm.Copy !req
69. See ya.Copy !req
70. Oh, hey, hey! Drew, Drew.Copy !req
71. You got, uh, five dollars
I could borrow?Copy !req
72. I don't loan money.Copy !req
73. Come on.
You know I'm good for it.Copy !req
74. Drew inherited one quality
from my father—Copy !req
75. he was a tightwad, and he saved
every penny he got,Copy !req
76. no matter how he got it.Copy !req
77. Here.Copy !req
78. Oh, thank you, son.Copy !req
79. When are you gonna
pay me back?Copy !req
80. Never!
Tomorrow.Copy !req
81. Cool.
Okay.Copy !req
82. Hey. Uh.. just keep the
change. That's all you.Copy !req
83. All right?Copy !req
84. Oh, hey, Tasha.Copy !req
85. What's going on?Copy !req
86. Nothing. Just need to pick up
some milk for my grandmother.Copy !req
87. Oh. Would you like me to spin
over there and get you a bottle?Copy !req
88. No. Why are you
acting weird?Copy !req
89. Oh, I just heard
that you were at a partyCopy !req
90. in the neighborhood
the other night.Copy !req
91. What?Copy !req
92. Yeah, you know, spin the...Copy !req
93. Hi-ya!Copy !req
94. Look, don't you ever,
ever, ever repeat it.Copy !req
95. Okay.
Okay?Copy !req
96. I won't say anything.
Okay.Copy !req
97. I just wanted
to go to the next one.Copy !req
98. Well, it's
not up to me.Copy !req
99. Lisa sets up
the parties.Copy !req
100. Okay, okay, I'm sorry.Copy !req
101. Can you let me go?Copy !req
102. No. Promise you're not
going to tell nobody.Copy !req
103. I promise.Copy !req
104. Promise?
I promise.Copy !req
105. Again.
I promise.Copy !req
106. Promise.
I promise.Copy !req
107. One more time.
I promise.Copy !req
108. All right.Copy !req
109. Tasha went on to become the
first female Ultimate Fighter.Copy !req
110. I'm sorry, it's just if
my grandmother finds out,Copy !req
111. she'll kill me.Copy !req
112. Well, then, I just need
to talk to Lisa.Copy !req
113. You can't ask her,
she has to ask you,Copy !req
114. and you can't tell
her I told you.Copy !req
115. It was like getting
into the Mafia.Copy !req
116. All right, well, give me
something to work with.Copy !req
117. How do I get into the game?Copy !req
118. She likes Prince.Copy !req
119. Okay.Copy !req
120. Well, thank you for coming,
Lionel Richie family.Copy !req
121. While I was being choked
by Tasha,Copy !req
122. my mother's past
was being revived.Copy !req
123. Mm.Copy !req
124. "An old flame
will be reignited."Copy !req
125. What does yours say, baby?Copy !req
126. Oh, I don't care.Copy !req
127. They're all silly anyway.Copy !req
128. No, no, they're real.Copy !req
129. My wife writes the fortunes.Copy !req
130. She can see into the future.Copy !req
131. "Here comes Lance"?Copy !req
132. Lance?Copy !req
133. Rochelle?Copy !req
134. Is that you?Copy !req
135. Oh, my God.Copy !req
136. Lance, what are you doing
around here?Copy !req
137. I just bought another Laundromat
in the neighborhood.Copy !req
138. You know Sire Suds?Copy !req
139. That's you?
That's me.Copy !req
140. Washing machines
fit for a a queen.Copy !req
141. Oh, well, Lance,
this is my husband, Julius,Copy !req
142. and my daughter, Tonya.Copy !req
143. Hi.Copy !req
144. What a lovely family.Copy !req
145. But I always knew
you had good genes.Copy !req
146. Oh, stop it.Copy !req
147. Oh... What about you?Copy !req
148. Are you married?Copy !req
149. No, no, I, uh, let all
the good ones get away.Copy !req
150. Yeah, sorry to hear that.Copy !req
151. Nice to meet you, Larry.Copy !req
152. Lance.
Okay.Copy !req
153. It's great seeing
you again, Rochelle.Copy !req
154. Next time you come down, I'll
give you a few free loads.Copy !req
155. Also, here are some
coupons for, uh,Copy !req
156. a new dry cleaners
I'm opening.Copy !req
157. My father would take a coupon
from bin Laden.Copy !req
158. Thanks, Lurch.Copy !req
159. It's Larry.Copy !req
160. It's Lance.Copy !req
161. Take care.
Good-bye, Rochelle.Copy !req
162. Nice meeting you.Copy !req
163. All right, Lance.Copy !req
164. What?Copy !req
165. After tomorrow came and went,
Drew came and went off.Copy !req
166. Hey, Drew.Copy !req
167. My man.Copy !req
168. Where's my money?Copy !req
169. Oh...Copy !req
170. Man, I'm sorry, I totally
forgot all about that.Copy !req
171. It's okay.Copy !req
172. You can pay me now.Copy !req
173. Okay.Copy !req
174. You know what?Copy !req
175. I left my wallet
at the office.Copy !req
176. The office
in your back pocket?
So...Copy !req
177. can I pay you tomorrow?
Yeah,Copy !req
178. but I'm gonna have
to charge you interest.Copy !req
179. Interest?
15%.Copy !req
180. 15%? That's outrageous.Copy !req
181. On the streets it's 17.Copy !req
182. I'm doing you a favor.Copy !req
183. I'll be back.Copy !req
184. Black Terminator.Copy !req
185. While Drew was trying
to settle a debt,Copy !req
186. I was trying to set up a score.Copy !req
187. Hey, Lisa.Copy !req
188. Chris.Copy !req
189. What you been up to?Copy !req
190. Oh, nothing, I've just
been around, you know,Copy !req
191. at home listening
to Prince, but...Copy !req
192. For real?Copy !req
193. I love Prince
and anything to do with him.Copy !req
194. She went
to see The Color PurpleCopy !req
195. because she assumed
it was about Prince.Copy !req
196. Can I show you something?Copy !req
197. What?Copy !req
198. Do you remember at
the end of Purple RainCopy !req
199. when Prince sprayed
everybody with his guitar?Copy !req
200. Yeah, I'll
never forget it.Copy !req
201. Yeah, well, check this out.Copy !req
202. Oh, my God, is that...?
Yes,Copy !req
203. it's the hose he attached
to the back of his guitar.Copy !req
204. Where did you get that?Copy !req
205. I found it in the street,
dummy.Copy !req
206. I got a friend
who lives in Minneapolis.Copy !req
207. Oh, my God, can I touch it?Copy !req
208. I'm not even touching that.Copy !req
209. Maybe.Copy !req
210. Look, what do you know about
this spin the bottle party?Copy !req
211. Who told you?
Nobody.Copy !req
212. No, somebody.Copy !req
213. Who?
I won't tell you.Copy !req
214. Who?
No.Copy !req
215. Okay, my house,
8:00 tomorrow night.Copy !req
216. Don't tell anybody.Copy !req
217. Thanks.Copy !req
218. Ever since that day,
I've always loved hose.Copy !req
219. Hey, Daddy.Copy !req
220. Hey, baby.Copy !req
221. Listen, I need you to do
something for me, okay?Copy !req
222. Okay.
Your mother's birthday
is coming up.Copy !req
223. Yeah, in three months.Copy !req
224. Right, and I want to throw
a little party for herCopy !req
225. and I was thinking of inviting
her friend Lance, but...Copy !req
226. I don't know...Copy !req
227. You want me to ask Mama
if she likes Lance?Copy !req
228. Yeah.Copy !req
229. Well, Daddy, I don't
think I can do that.Copy !req
230. At least not for free.Copy !req
231. Are you asking me for money?Copy !req
232. Are you asking me
to spy on Mama?Copy !req
233. It's not spying.Copy !req
234. I just want you to ask her
a couple questions.Copy !req
235. Well, how come
you can't ask her?Copy !req
236. Because here's five dollars,
that's how come.Copy !req
237. I'll take care of it.Copy !req
238. Thank you.Copy !req
239. Tonya made more money that
year than my father.Copy !req
240. At school, Greg was putting
his usual spin on things.Copy !req
241. Dude, you're so in there.Copy !req
242. Yeah, and Tasha's coming.Copy !req
243. Don't get
your hopes up.Copy !req
244. The statistical chances of you
actually getting to kiss herCopy !req
245. when there's six other players
at the party are about...Copy !req
246. six to one.Copy !req
247. Better than my usual
348 million to one.Copy !req
248. I'm not worried
about that.Copy !req
249. You shouldn't be worried
about it.Copy !req
250. I just don't know if
I'm gonna do it right.Copy !req
251. Lip-ups.Copy !req
252. What?
Lip-ups.Copy !req
253. Richie Cunningham
was afraidCopy !req
254. of the same thing
on Happy DaysCopy !req
255. and the Fonz told him
to do lip-ups.Copy !req
256. Put your face on the floor
and push up with your lips.Copy !req
257. WhatCopy !req
258. I'm not kissing the floor.Copy !req
259. This is what happens when you
watch shows about white people.Copy !req
260. What are you doing?Copy !req
261. Oh, I was just looking
for a quarter I dropped.Copy !req
262. Oh. Well, it looked like
you were doing lip-ups.Copy !req
263. You know those don't work.Copy !req
264. The hardest part
about practicing kissingCopy !req
265. is trying to do it by yourself.Copy !req
266. Ugh!Copy !req
267. Boy, what is wrong with you?Copy !req
268. Can't a boy kiss himself
in the mirror in peace?Copy !req
269. Mr. Omar?Copy !req
270. DrewCopy !req
271. Where's my money?Copy !req
272. You said you were
coming back tomorrow.Copy !req
273. It is tomorrow.Copy !req
274. It's 4:00 in the morning, man.Copy !req
275. I want my money.Copy !req
276. Drew, I got to get up in
the morning and go to work.Copy !req
277. And I got to get up
and go to school,Copy !req
278. but I can't concentrate
because I don't have my money.Copy !req
279. Okay, okay.Copy !req
280. Can you give me another day?Copy !req
281. Fine.Copy !req
282. But another day is going
to cost you another dollar.Copy !req
283. And after tomorrow, that's it.Copy !req
284. What's it?Copy !req
285. Nothing.Copy !req
286. I'd just hate to see
something bad happen.Copy !req
287. What kind of something?Copy !req
288. Something tragic.Copy !req
289. Have a nice night.Copy !req
290. Drew went on to help found
Death Row Records.Copy !req
291. Omar's day had taken a turn
for the worse,Copy !req
292. but my night was about to get
a whole lot better.Copy !req
293. Come in.Copy !req
294. I need you to watch Tonya.Copy !req
295. What?Copy !req
296. I'll be back around 9:00.Copy !req
297. Okay, baby, be good.Copy !req
298. All right.Copy !req
299. In bed by 9:00
and stay out of my room.Copy !req
300. What are you looking at?Copy !req
301. About five to ten when I
drown you in that cereal bowl.Copy !req
302. I need you to do
something for me.Copy !req
303. What?
I'm going out,Copy !req
304. and I need you to stay here
and keep your mouth shut.Copy !req
305. That's five dollar's
worth of need.Copy !req
306. Fine. Mom will be back
at 9:00, be in bed.Copy !req
307. And if I don't get in trouble,
I'll pay you when I get back.Copy !req
308. Okay.Copy !req
309. Tonya invested
all of her extortion moneyCopy !req
310. and retired at 30.Copy !req
311. Playing spin the bottle
was one of the greatest momentsCopy !req
312. of my teenage life.Copy !req
313. It was the best shortcut
to kissing girls,Copy !req
314. outside of becoming famous.Copy !req
315. Ooh, Susan.Copy !req
316. Mm.Copy !req
317. I wish that was me
kissing her.Copy !req
318. Please, please, please.Copy !req
319. Damn, damn, damn.Copy !req
320. Instead of spinning the bottle,Copy !req
321. I wanted to bust it
over his head.Copy !req
322. Chris, your turn.Copy !req
323. Finally!Copy !req
324. Hey, this ain't
the Logo channel.Copy !req
325. Spin it again, Chris.Copy !req
326. I needed the bottle
to point to a girlCopy !req
327. so I could take my lips
for a spin.Copy !req
328. It wasn't Tasha,
but I could pretend.Copy !req
329. Dag, Chris, that's enough.Copy !req
330. You act like it's your first
kiss or something.Copy !req
331. Wait till I tell Greg.Copy !req
332. If you tell anybody,
I will break your lips.Copy !req
333. In that case, wait till I write
Greg a detailed letter.Copy !req
334. After my first kiss, the world
seemed like a different place.Copy !req
335. A girl's lips had touched mine.Copy !req
336. It was great, and nothing
was ever going to change that.Copy !req
337. So you're Chris?Copy !req
338. Yeah. Who are you?Copy !req
339. Nobody.Copy !req
340. Just a dude who wanted to know
who my girl was talking about.Copy !req
341. What?Copy !req
342. It's cool, man.Copy !req
343. I just want her
to be happy.Copy !req
344. But I still
love her though.Copy !req
345. But, you know, if you're
the one she wants,Copy !req
346. then, you know,
that-that-that's cool.Copy !req
347. That's cool. I'm gonna
just deal with that.Copy !req
348. Deal with that?Copy !req
349. Man, what are you
talking about?Copy !req
350. It's ai'ight, man.Copy !req
351. You won. You won.Copy !req
352. You know it, I know it,Copy !req
353. and Susan knows it.Copy !req
354. But check this out.Copy !req
355. If you mess up...Copy !req
356. I'll be there.Copy !req
357. Hopefully not with one glove
and a friend in a Bronco.Copy !req
358. I'm gonna be there, Chris!Copy !req
359. I will be there!Copy !req
360. While I had one foot
in the grave,Copy !req
361. Tonya was digging up dirt.Copy !req
362. Hey, baby.Copy !req
363. Hey, Ma.Copy !req
364. Can I ask you something?Copy !req
365. Sure. What is it?Copy !req
366. Did you ever kiss Lance?Copy !req
367. Smooth.Copy !req
368. That, Tonya, is none
of your business.Copy !req
369. Okay, well...Copy !req
370. do you love Lance more
than you love Daddy?Copy !req
371. Instead of beating
around a bush,Copy !req
372. Tonya took a chainsaw to it.Copy !req
373. Well, since you're so interested
in knowing what happened,Copy !req
374. I guess I'll tell you.Copy !req
375. I was dating Lance
and then I met your father.Copy !req
376. You want to know why
I broke up with Lance?Copy !req
377. Why?Copy !req
378. Because your father was,Copy !req
379. is and will always be
the love of my life.Copy !req
380. Okay?Copy !req
381. Okay.Copy !req
382. That okay with you, Julius?Copy !req
383. Okay.Copy !req
384. Brooklyn was the home
of many modern trends,Copy !req
385. stalking was one of them.Copy !req
386. So was the sensitive thug.Copy !req
387. So was the restraining order.Copy !req
388. Years later,
Dwayne would go on to beCopy !req
389. the first guy from Brooklyn
to have a prison marriageCopy !req
390. with a girl he stalked,
stabbed and restrained.Copy !req
391. Hey, Chris.Copy !req
392. Who is Dwayne and why is
he following me aroundCopy !req
393. and standing outside my house?Copy !req
394. Oh, he's my boyfriend.Copy !req
395. But he wasn't acting right,
so I told him about our kiss.Copy !req
396. I thought you said
not to tell anybody.
You didn't, did you?Copy !req
397. We're not talking about me.
We're talking about you.Copy !req
398. And plus, you don't
have somebody following
you around in fatigues?Copy !req
399. Hey, calm down, okay?Copy !req
400. He ain't gonna do nothing.Copy !req
401. How do you know?Copy !req
402. I'll talk to him.Copy !req
403. Isn't that how
all this got started?Copy !req
404. Can I ask you a question?Copy !req
405. Sure.Copy !req
406. That kiss, I mean,
was it good?Copy !req
407. Was it too much lip,
too sloppy?Copy !req
408. It was... fine.Copy !req
409. You're a good kisser.Copy !req
410. Really?Copy !req
411. Yeah.Copy !req
412. At that moment, I had never
been more happy, or afraid.Copy !req
413. I had two kisses and a death
threat, and I was cashing out.Copy !req
414. Really.Copy !req
415. It was nice.Copy !req
416. If you tell anybody,
I will break your tongue.Copy !req
417. Shouldn't I be saying that?Copy !req
418. While I was counting
my blessings,Copy !req
419. Mr. Omar had to pay the piper.Copy !req
420. I know it's hard
to lose your husband.Copy !req
421. But remember, he's in
a better place right now.Copy !req
422. Drew?Copy !req
423. Where's my money?Copy !req
424. Man, we're on our way
to a funeral.Copy !req
425. You want to make it two?Copy !req
426. You're not going anywhere
until I get my money.Copy !req
427. You got five dollars
I could borrow?Copy !req
428. Seven.Copy !req
429. Seven.Copy !req
430. This is coming out
of your bill.Copy !req
431. Mr. Omar hated paying back
money even if it wasn't his.Copy !req
432. Thank you.Copy !req
433. And, uh,
sorry about your husband.Copy !req
434. At least one of them is.Copy !req
435. While Drew collected his money,Copy !req
436. Susan called
to collect her man.Copy !req
437. Hey, Chris.Copy !req
438. Hey.Copy !req
439. Could you come down for a
second, I want to talk to you.Copy !req
440. Sure.
The funny thing about girls isCopy !req
441. even when they say
they don't care what you do,Copy !req
442. they still care
who you're doing it with.Copy !req
443. I heard about
you and Susan.Copy !req
444. Heard what?Copy !req
445. You know.
Everybody knows.Copy !req
446. She broke up with Dwayne
for you.Copy !req
447. Who told you that?Copy !req
448. Dwayne.Copy !req
449. Well, it's not true.Copy !req
450. Oh.Copy !req
451. I was going to say,
after one kiss, dang.Copy !req
452. I had no idea
what all that meant,Copy !req
453. but I took it as a compliment.Copy !req
454. So do you like her?Copy !req
455. I mean, she's all right.Copy !req
456. She a good kisser?Copy !req
457. Better than my pillow.Copy !req
458. It was cool.Copy !req
459. You think she's better than me?Copy !req
460. Kissing?Copy !req
461. No. Tetherball, stupid.Copy !req
462. I don't know.Copy !req
463. When you kissed Robert,
you looked pretty good.Copy !req
464. I did?Copy !req
465. Yeah.Copy !req
466. Is your mom home?Copy !req
467. Uh, no, why?Copy !req
468. Can we go upstairs for a second?Copy !req
469. What for?Copy !req
470. Hey, idiot, can't you see
what's happening here?Copy !req
471. I want to show you something.Copy !req
472. Okay, cool.
Thank you.Copy !req
473. Hi, Tasha.Copy !req
474. Hi, Chris.
Dang it.Copy !req
475. Hey, Mom.
Hi.Copy !req
476. Baby, when you're done here,
I want you to come help meCopy !req
477. with dinner, okay?
Okay.Copy !req
478. All right. Tasha, tell your
grandmother I say hello.Copy !req
479. Come on.Copy !req
480. Oh, I forgot I have
to wash the dishes.Copy !req
481. Oh, okay, well,
what were you going to show me?Copy !req
482. Nothing.Copy !req
483. I'll just see you later.Copy !req
484. I never did find out what Tasha
was going to show me,Copy !req
485. but after my first kiss,
I saw a whole new side of her.Copy !req
486. Yes, may I help you?Copy !req
487. Hi, are you Chris's mother?Copy !req
488. Yes.Copy !req
489. WhyCopy !req
490. He was at a party with
my daughter, Susan,Copy !req
491. last Wednesday night.Copy !req
492. Oh, no, no, no,
I don't think so.Copy !req
493. Chris was here at home
watching my daughter for meCopy !req
494. on Wednesday night.Copy !req
495. Okay, well, somebody named Chris
was at that partyCopy !req
496. and she said that he lived here.Copy !req
497. Look, I'm just trying to inform
everybody who was at the partyCopy !req
498. that Susan was contagious
and she has the mumps.Copy !req
499. Well, I don't know
what you're talking aboutCopy !req
500. because Chris doesn't have
the mumps.Copy !req
501. One minute.Copy !req
502. Chris!Copy !req
503. Maybe the mumps will cushion
my butt-whupping.Copy !req