1. After two years at Corleone,
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2. I'd gotten used to being
the only black kid.
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3. But it had two major
down sides.
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4. One down side was,
I was the only black kid.
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5. And the other was,
I was the only black kid.
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6. Let's celebrate
the day Chris's people
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7. finally realized
they were emancipated.
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8. Happy Juneteenth,
Chris.
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9. I thought that things
would never change.
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10. Then Albert arrived.
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11. I was excited
about Albert's arrival
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12. and anxious for us to meet.
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13. But I decided to play it cool.
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14. What's up?
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15. What's up?
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16. All right.
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17. I was cool on the outside
but inside I felt like this...
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18. Cool or not,
we were two of a kind.
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19. Captioning sponsored by
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20. The only one
who wasn't looking forward
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21. to Albert being
at Corleone was Greg.
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22. I'm going to go talk
to the new kid.
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23. I've been dreading
this day.
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24. What are you talking
about?
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25. I always knew
that someday
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26. someone would come
along that had more
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27. in common with you.
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28. Just 'cause he's black?
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29. Greg, that's silly.
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30. Not that silly.
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31. I'll be back.
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32. Sure you will.
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33. Hey, welcome
to Corleone.
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34. Hi, I'm Albert.
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35. Hey, Chris.
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36. Man, I was glad
to see you.
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37. When I first got here,
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38. I thought it was going
to be like my last school,
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39. where I was the only
black kid.
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40. Mm-hmm.
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41. They really gave me
a hard time over there.
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42. I got beat up
almost every day.
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43. Same here.
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44. What school did
you go to?
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45. Strom Thurmond
Junior High.
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46. The only black kids allowed
there
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47. were children
of Strom Thurmond.
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48. Well, now there's
two of us,
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49. which is twice as much
as there was before.
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50. So, we can have each
other's back.
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51. That sounds like a plan.
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52. Oh, I got to go,
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53. but we can hang
out later.
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54. Cool.
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55. I told you I'd be back.
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56. Yeah, but for how long, Chris?
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57. For how long?
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58. That concludes another episode
of "As The Nerd Turns."
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59. Class, we have a new student
with us.
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60. Say hello to Albert!
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61. Hi, Albert.
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62. Chris, you must
be so happy.
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63. You must feel just
like Jackie Robinson
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64. when Larry Doby
arrived.
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65. More like Robert Perish
when Dennis Johnson showed up.
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66. Who's Larry Doby?
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67. He was the second black
man in baseball,
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68. but he was taller than
Jackie and more...
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69. strapping.
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70. With his strong
shoulders
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71. and Nubian profile.
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72. His Cleveland Indians
uniform complimented
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73. by the rich caramel
color of his skin.
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74. And the way he
swung his bat.
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75. Forget jungle fever.
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76. She's having a jungle seizure.
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77. Ms. Morello, are you okay?
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78. Uh, yes.
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79. Anyway...
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80. after years of being alone
and ostracized,
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81. you now have a soul brother.
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82. Somebody to talk jive with
and to shoot dice with,
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83. to talk about being raised
by MaDear with.
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84. Just seeing the two of you
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85. together would make your leaders
like Dr. King
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86. and Uncle Remus proud.
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87. Oh, happy day!
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88. She might have been crazy,
but she was right.
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89. I finally had somebody
I could really relate to.
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90. Y'all, go put that stuff
in the kitchen.
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91. Bills, bills...
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92. more bills, junk mail.
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93. Internal Revenue Service?
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94. "We are pleased to inform you"
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95. "estimated tax..."
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96. Refund?
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97. Oh, my God.
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98. A tax refund check is
like a bonus for broke people.
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99. A bonus which my mother
accepted with grace and class.
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100. Kiss my ass, Visa!
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101. Visa was actually the name
of the lady
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102. who collected bills
for MasterCard.
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103. This is way too much!
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104. What's way too much?
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105. Our refund, it's,
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106. it's three times more
than what we were expecting.
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107. That's how MC Hammer got
in trouble.
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108. Cool, now we can finally
buy stuff
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109. without having to put it
on layaway.
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110. You got that
right.
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111. Hey, don't take
your coats off.
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112. Why, where are
we going?
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113. Shopping!
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114. We're going shopping!
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115. The more time I spent
with Albert,
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116. the more I found out
we had a lot in common.
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117. Did you see
227 this week?
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118. Aw, man,
how funny was that?
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119. When Sandra pretended
to be Mary?
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120. Then Lester comes home
and cold busts her?
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121. Man, I love
that show!
Me, too!
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122. Back then there were almost
no black shows on TV.
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123. Kind of like it is now.
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124. Anybody see
Kate & Allie?
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125. No!
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126. No.
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127. Well, Kate convinced Allie
to accompany her
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128. to their 20th high school
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129. reunion where
Allie found herself
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130. questioning her life's successes
and failures.
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131. It could have been worse...
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132. Greg never missed an episode
of Murder She Wrote.
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133. Anyone who says money
can't buy happiness
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134. never saw my mother
with her IRS refund couch.
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135. Ooh, this is nice.
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136. The tighter I got with Albert,
the more uptight Greg got.
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137. Hey, Chris.
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138. Do you want to come over
and play some video games?
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139. Nah, we're gonna go
hang out.
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140. You want to come?
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141. Where are you going?
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142. We're going to the
record store.
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143. The twelve inch of
"The Show" just came out.
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144. What show?
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145. Doug E. Fresh.
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146. Dougie who?
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147. You know, Slick Rick...
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148. La-di-da-di...
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149. We like to party.
We don't cause trouble.
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150. We don't bother nobody.
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151. Chris, I don't think
your man likes rap.
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152. Yeah, he does.
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153. Come on, Greg.
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154. No, that's okay.
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155. You guys can go ahead.
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156. You sure?
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157. Yeah, I got lots
of homework to do.
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158. All right,
I'll call you later.
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159. While Greg had a negative
reaction to the brothers...
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160. my mother was hoping
for a positive reaction
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161. from my father.
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162. We can't afford this.
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163. Yes, we can.
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164. I-I used our tax refund check.
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165. Wait. When did that come?
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166. The other day.
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167. Look, Rochelle,
I had plans for that money,
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168. that didn't include spending it
all on a couch.
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169. But, baby,
we got triple the amount
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170. that we were supposed to get.
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171. Triple?
Yes!
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172. But we were only supposed
to get back $600.
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173. I know, I know, and that's why
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174. I bought a little bit of
something for everybody.
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175. I paid some bills for you,
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176. and I bought the couch for me,
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177. and I bought some variety cereal
packs for the kids.
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178. Wow, cereal.
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179. Careful, you'll spoil us.
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180. Hey, wait, wait, wait,
where are you going?
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181. I'm going to go sit down.
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182. No you're not.
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183. New couch, new rules.
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184. There'll be no eating
on this couch.
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185. So that means no
soups, no salads,
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186. no sandwiches, no ribs,
no Cheerios,
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187. no Bazooka gum, nothing.
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188. If you fall asleep,
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189. keep your funky little feet
on the floor.
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190. Put a towel
underneath your face
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191. to keep the drool
and the dribble
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192. from getting
on my pillows.
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193. If you sit down,
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194. you cannot have any pens,
pencils, markers, nothing.
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195. By the time I sat
on the new couch,
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196. it was the old couch.
Do not...
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197. Hey, Greg, we're going
to go hang out later.
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198. Want to come?
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199. Who's we?
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200. Me and Albert.
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201. Oh, so you're "we" now?
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202. You know, you and
I used to be "we."
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203. Now all of a sudden we
have nothing in common.
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204. What's wrong
with you?
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205. I've been hearing
some pretty bad things
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206. about your new
friend, Albert.
Like what?
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207. People are saying he's not
who he pretends to be.
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208. I mean, he's cool with you,
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209. but he's a jerk
to everyone else.
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210. You know, I think
you're just jealous.
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211. Besides, what do you think
other kids say about me
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212. behind my back?
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213. I think it starts
with the letter N.
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214. And I don't care
what other kids say.
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215. I'm going to hang out
with Albert.
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216. But that doesn't mean you
and me can't still be friends.
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217. Oh, really?
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218. Then why is it that ever
since he's gotten here,
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219. I've seen less and
less of you?
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220. What are you talking about?
We're together now.
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221. Well, this doesn't count.
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222. I mean we don't even eat
lunch together anymore.
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223. You haven't returned
my phone calls.
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224. But hey, things can
change, right?
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225. Is this a show
about my childhood
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226. or an episode of Dr. Phil?
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227. What do you want me
to say?
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228. We have a lot in common.
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229. He gets stuff
that you don't.
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230. Like what?
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231. Sickle-cell anemia.
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232. Like, Albert knows
what it's like
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233. to be the only black kid
in school.
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234. And that's something
you won't get.
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235. You never will.
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236. That's all I'm saying.
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237. Well, all I'm saying is...
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238. watch your back... friend.
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239. How can my life be this much
of a soap opera
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240. with no women involved.
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241. Ms. Morello was right.
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242. Hanging out with Albert
was cool.
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243. But I still felt bad
about fighting with Greg.
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244. There goes
the neighborhood.
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245. Hey,
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246. my dad's got an extra ticket
to the Knicks game.
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247. He said I could
bring somebody.
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248. Want to go?
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249. Are you kidding me?
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250. Heck, yeah, I want to go.
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251. Thanks, man.
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252. No problem.
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253. Hey, let's get out of here
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254. before your man
shows up.
Who, Greg?
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255. Yeah, he's no
fun at all.
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256. Hey, watch this.
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257. Nice shirt.
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258. Did Prince just
have a garage sale?
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259. Hey, Chico and the Man,
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260. Freddie Prinze
just called.
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261. And he wants
his hair back.
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262. Taunt the Puerto Rican kid.
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263. That's a good way to get cut.
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264. Hey, man,
what are you doing?
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265. I'm just having
a little fun.
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266. Try it.
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267. It wasn't natural
for me to act like a jerk,
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268. but I learned quick.
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269. Hey, Caruso.
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270. What, mutt?
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271. You know, you have
a face like a saint.
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272. A Saint Bernard.
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273. One black kid
Caruso could handle.
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274. But two of us was like Will
and Martin in Bad Boys.
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275. Hey, babe.
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276. How come you're not
sitting on the couch?
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277. Did you read this letter
from the IRS?
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278. Yeah, so?
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279. So?
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280. So it says they could
demand their money back
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281. with interest
at any time
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282. if they determine
that a mistake was made.
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283. Baby, they send that
letter to everybody.
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284. Well, what if they want
their money back?
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285. Where am I going
to get it from?
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286. Julius, you got
better odds
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287. of being struck
by lightening
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288. than the IRS wanting
their money back.
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289. Statistically, she was right.
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290. Besides, what's the worst
that can happen?
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291. Where did they go...?
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292. What is go...
Oh, my...
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293. Dad, they
took the TV.
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294. Julius, they took
my wigs.
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295. Ow!
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296. Dad... They're taking Tonya.
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297. No!
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298. Name brand cereal
is like crack to kids.
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299. And when Tonya and Drew opened
that variety pack,
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300. they became snap,
crackle and pop heads.
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301. Drew, give it!
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302. No, I called
the Chocalot.
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303. Mama, Drew took
my Chocalots.
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304. Both of y'all, get in here now.
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305. Julius, they driving me
crazy behind this cereal.
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306. Well, Drew did call
the Chocalots.
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307. I don't care who called what.
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308. It's too early
for all this arguing.
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309. Drew, give your sister
the cereal.
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310. Fine.
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311. But tomorrow I call
the Fruit Hoops.
No, Ma, I...
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312. Girl, don't press your luck
before I knock
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313. the Rice Krispies
out of you.
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314. Man, who ate up all
the Cereal Smack?
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315. I called the Cereal Smacks.
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316. See?
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317. I called them.
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318. After a few days, I found out
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319. I had a lot more in common
with Albert
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320. than I had with Greg.
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321. Hey, check this dude out.
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322. Hey, Mario?
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323. Your mama's so stupid,
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324. she thought a quarterback
was a refund.
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325. Oh, yeah?
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326. Su mama es la mariscal
de la cancha.
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327. Now we're going to get fined
by the Mexican FCC.
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328. Hey, I'll be right back.
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329. What'd you do that for?
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330. I was just having a little fun.
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331. Fun for who?
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332. Okay, now this is an easy one.
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333. Who was the only president
to ever be impeached?
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334. Chris?
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335. Uh, George Washington Carver?
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336. No, Chris.
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337. George Washington Carver
was the black peanut genius.
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338. And you should know that.
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339. Albert?
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340. I don't know.
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341. What do you mean,
you don't know?
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342. Did you read
the assigned material?
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343. You can read, can't you?
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344. Yeah, I can read.
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345. Well, then,
there's no excuse for you not
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346. having studied. Now,
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347. I know you and Chris
are having fun
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348. shucking and jiving
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349. together, but you
should really spend
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350. more time studying...
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351. Albert looked at her
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352. like he was about
to get his third strike.
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353. What's wrong with you?
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354. Can you believe what she said?
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355. It's not that big
of a deal, man.
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356. It's nothing worse than
what she said to me.
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357. Forget her.
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358. No, I ain't forgetting nothing.
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359. I'll bet you
she won't do that again.
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360. What do you mean?
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361. We're going to pay her back.
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362. I think I just joined a gang.
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363. Who's we?
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364. As it turned out,
Albert could not only read.
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365. He could also write.
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366. Way to go, Basquiat.
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367. I didn't do this.
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368. Sure you didn't.
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369. Who would possess
the vulgar cultural background
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370. and raw, angry,
street talent to do
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371. something like this?
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372. I'll give you one guess,
and it starts with Albert.
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373. Hey, Albert.
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374. Did you see it?
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375. Yeah, I saw it.
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376. Pretty cool, huh?
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377. We put her in her place.
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378. What is with this we?
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379. I had nothing
to do with this.
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380. Well, you know...
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381. No, I don't know.
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382. Caruso thinks I did it.
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383. Yeah, well, you and me?
It's the same thing.
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384. Solidarity, right?
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385. Solidarity... wrong.
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386. You took
this too far.
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387. Now you need to
tell Ms. Morello
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388. what you did,
or I'm going to.
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389. Oh, it's like that, huh?
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390. Yeah, it's like that.
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391. And that's the
way it is. Ugh!
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392. That sounded a lot cooler
in my head.
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393. Okay, then I'll tell her.
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394. I'm not scared.
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395. I'm deeply disappointed in you,
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396. Chris.
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397. I thought we had a connection,
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398. and yet, you go and spray paint
those awful words.
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399. Wait. Didn't Albert talk to you?
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400. Yes. Your friend
came in here,
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401. and as hard as it was
for him to turn you in,
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402. he did the right thing
by letting me know
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403. you were the one who
defaced school property.
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404. But it wasn't me.
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405. I didn't do it.
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406. Don't try to deny it, mister.
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407. I know in your culture,
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408. people think that
word is a compliment,
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409. but in this
instance, it's not.
Copy !req
410. Ms. Morello, Albert's the one
who spray painted that wall.
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411. I know you were embarrassed
for your friend
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412. because he didn't study,
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413. but you're not helping
him by calling me names.
Copy !req
414. Sticks and stones, Chris.
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415. I know where I'd like
to stick a stone.
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416. I'm giving you detention.
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417. That's not fair.
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418. I told you I didn't do it.
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419. And furthermore, you're
going to clean that wall.
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420. Give it,
or I'm going to tell.
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421. Tonya, you didn't even
want the Frosty Flakes
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422. until I had them. Stop!
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423. So, you can eat
Crazy Bran.
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424. I'm not eating the
Crazy Bran, Tonya. Stop!
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425. Stop! You're spilling it!
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426. Hey!
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427. Give me those darn cereal!
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428. I'm sick of y'all fighting
over cereal.
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429. Every day, y'all...
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430. your life's bigger that cereal!
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431. It's cereal!
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432. Now eat the damn cereal!
Copy !req
433. Eat the Damn Cereal.
Copy !req
434. Coming soon from Kellogg's.
Copy !req
435. Can I help you?
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436. I've got a hypothetical
question for you.
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437. Okay.
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438. What are the chances
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439. that the IRS would demand
a refund on a tax refund?
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440. Hypothetically?
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441. Hypothetically.
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442. Well, that hardly
ever happens.
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443. Really?
Yes. Almost never.
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444. Almost?
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445. Very rarely.
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446. How rare?
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447. Uh, it's unlikely.
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448. I mean, it could take years
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449. if they ever even
caught the mistake,
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450. but they probably wouldn't.
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451. How probable is that probably?
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452. Did you cash the refund check?
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453. Hypothetically?
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454. Yes.
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455. No.
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456. Good.
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457. But my hypothetical wife did.
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458. Oh.
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459. Oh? Oh, hey,
what's oh
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460. Well, if you got a larger
than normal refund,
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461. um, it's possible you aren't
aware of some benefit.
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462. Although the IRS takes a lot
of money by accident,
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463. we usually don't
give money away by accident.
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464. You'll probably be okay.
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465. Hypothetically.
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466. Probably?
Possibly.
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467. Maybe.
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468. I hope.
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469. Thanks.
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470. My father wasn't the only one
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471. stressed out
because of that refund.
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472. What are you doing?
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473. I'm trying to clean
this mess off the wall.
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474. I can see that, but why?
You didn't do it.
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475. I know, but nobody
seems to believe me.
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476. I guess I should have listened
to you about Albert.
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477. I guess you should have.
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478. Sorry.
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479. So am I.
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480. It's better to hang out
with friends
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481. that get you out of trouble,
not into it.
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482. If only Tupac had known that.
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483. While I was worrying
about my problem,
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484. my father had problems
of his own.
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485. Julius,
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486. is something wrong
with your food?
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487. No, uh, I'm just not hungry.
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488. For my father to waste food,
that could only mean one thing.
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489. Hell must have frozen over.
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490. Damn, it's cold!
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491. Julius, what's wrong?
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492. I can't stop worrying
about this refund.
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493. I mean, I keep having
these nightmares
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494. the government's going
to take all we own,
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495. and we have to end up
living in the street.
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496. That is not going to happen.
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497. It happened to Red Fox.
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498. How do you know?
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499. 'Cause I'm not living
in the streets.
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500. If everybody in this house
has to get two jobs,
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501. we'll find a way to pay
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502. the money back.
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503. Yeah, I can pick up
some extra hours at Doc's.
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504. Do I have to get two jobs?
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505. Well, if you want to stay here
with two parents
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506. and two brothers, yes,
you have to get two jobs.
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507. But what if I get one job,
and I keep Daddy?
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508. Girl, don't
play with me.
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509. Well, I could get a
job as a bullfighter
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510. and get a paper route.
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511. Boy, I'm not going
to let you kill yourself
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512. out there on no paper route.
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513. Chris, you take
the paper route.
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514. Drew, why don't you
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515. find something else to do?
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516. Okay.
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517. Oh, you guys would really
do that for me?
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518. In a heartbeat.
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519. Baby, if the IRS
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520. knocks on this door,
we'll be ready for them.
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521. Okay?
Okay.
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522. Now, eat
your food.
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523. That night, my family showed me
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524. what it meant
to have someone's back,
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525. and I realized that Greg,
not Albert,
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526. would always have mine.
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527. I hope you're happy.
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528. They found the paint
cans in my locker.
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529. I got expelled.
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530. That's not my fault.
I didn't say anything.
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531. Then who did?
Me.
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532. I saw what you did,
but I didn't want
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533. to say anything until
you got Chris in trouble.
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534. Then I told
Ms. Morello.
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535. Oh, yeah.
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536. Here.
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537. I changed my mind
about the game.
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538. I didn't really want to go
with you anyway.
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539. This is just like when
Bobby Brown left New Edition.
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540. Thanks for getting me
out of detention.
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541. Don't mention it. You'd
do the same for me.
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542. Greg was right. I would.
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543. Because when it came
to our friendship,
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544. we didn't see color.
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545. Hey, Count Chocula.
Hey, Captain Crunch.
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546. Never would have happened
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547. if I had convinced Greg
to wear black face.
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