1. As much as I loved
growing up in Bed-Stuy,
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2. the place I loved even more
was down South.
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3. After segregation and before
the 2 Live Crew, down South
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4. was good, and the weather
was always beautiful.
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5. Hey, Mom, when are we
going down South again?
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6. When the Klan breaks up.
I don't know, baby.
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7. That'll be nice.
Hey, Ma.
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8. Who's that?
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9. Oh, that's your
Cousin Beanie!
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10. You know what, she's
12, just like you.
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11. Except Cousin Beanie's
not evil.
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12. You know what,
maybe we should plan
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13. a trip down South.
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14. I don't like down South;
people act too country.
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15. They're not acting.
Well, I wish
I could go.
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16. Well, Drew and Tonya,
you guys get washed up.
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17. We're about to eat.
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18. Hey!
Hey!
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19. Hey!
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20. Hey, little man.
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21. Hey, Uncle Louis!
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22. Hey.
Hey.
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23. Hi
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24. Uh
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25. I just found out
that Uncle Morris died.
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26. Uncle Morris?
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27. Yeah. He taught me how to drive.
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28. Well, who was
Uncle Morris?
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29. He's my mother's sister's
second husband.
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30. A stick shift.
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31. Oh, baby.
Well, when's the funeral?
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32. Next week.
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33. Down South.
Oh.
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34. I don't think we can go.
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35. Baby, what do you
mean, we can't go?
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36. We can't afford to go.
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37. You can't put a price tag
on family, Julius.
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38. Yeah, but he'll give you
five dollars to shut up.
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39. Louis is right.
Family is family, baby.
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40. Family is family.
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41. So we're going down South?
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42. Yep.
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43. Thanks, Uncle Morris.
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44. Captioning sponsored by
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45. Back at school, I tried
to bring Greg up to speed
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46. on the new direction
of the South.
Down South?
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47. You mean, like, across
the Mason
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48. Yeah, you know, Georgia,
Alabama, Mississippi,
South Carolina.
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49. Mississippi?
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50. Are you trying
to get yourself killed?
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51. You going to Mississippi
is like me going to,
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52. hmm, I don't know,
Mississippi.
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53. Man, it's not
like that anymore.
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54. Yes, it is.
Anyway, I
want to go.
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55. Down South, the
food is better.
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56. The cops don't beat
the crap out of you,
and nobody's on crack.
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57. That's because everybody's
on the porch.
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58. Well, I'm sorry
about your uncle, man.
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59. I'll see you
when you get back.
All right.
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60. Before you could buy
plane tickets on the Internet,
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61. the cheapest way to travel
was to take Greyhound.
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62. How's it going?
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63. Well, they've only got
two busses
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64. that go to Greenville,
South Carolina.
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65. The cheaper one goes
to Camden, Portsmouth,
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66. Baltimore, Richmond,
Baltimore again,
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67. Raleigh, Toledo, Gastonia...
Darryl Richardson's house,
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68. What?
Boston,
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69. the Crossroads, Atlanta,
then Greenville.
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70. Well, does the other bus
make less stops? Oh!
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71. Yeah, but it costs
almost $200 more.
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72. Well, why don't we just drive?
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73. I love a road trip.
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74. What, are... you going with us?
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75. Well, how else am I supposed
to get there, silly?
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76. You want to...
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77. Blink!
Yes, master.
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78. Well, I-I just assumed
you'd be flying— I mean...
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79. you don't want to be
on no bus with us.
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80. Are you kidding?
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81. I love the bus!
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82. Man, I get
to spend time
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83. with my big brother
and his family,
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84. see the sights,
meet new people,
and best of all,
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85. sing-alongs.
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86. Sing it with me.
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87. ♪ Find the beat
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88. ♪ Neon light...
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89. Um, uh, Julius, can you
come upstairs with me
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90. for a second?
He can if Uncle Louis
isn't coming.
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91. What is wrong with you?
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92. Do you hear that?
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93. That's what's
wrong with me.
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94. Look, I'm not gonna
spend 26 hours on a bus
with my brother.
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95. I love him, but
he drives me nuts.
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96. Baby, why? I mean,
he's always laughing
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97. and smiling
and in a good mood.
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98. Exactly. And while
he's having fun, you
know what I'm doing?
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99. Working. Look, look.
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100. but I just
cannot take it.
Okay...
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101. Baby, look,
I can't take it.
All right, I got you.
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102. After my mother convinced
my Uncle Louis to fly,
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103. we headed to Port Authority,
the only place in New York
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104. scarier than our neighborhood.
Okay, I want y'all to be
real careful in here.
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105. This place is full of
pickpockets, pimps and...
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106. and-and murderers and
child molesters and thieves.
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107. That's the Port Authority
slogan.
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108. Rochelle, don't scare 'em.
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109. Too late.
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110. Julius, this place
is full of hustlers
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111. trying to prey
on innocent people.
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112. She said the same thing
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113. when we visited Washington, DC.
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114. So that's why I decided
to divide our money
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115. between me,
you and Chris.
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116. You did?
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117. Yeah. So just in case
somebody pickpockets one of us,
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118. they won't get us all.
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119. Well, where'd you put it?
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120. It's in your shirt pocket.
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121. Don't look
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122. for it now!
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123. Hey, there's the gate
right there.
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124. Don't touch anything.
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125. And don't make eye contact
with strangers.
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126. Please check the board
for updates.
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127. Two security guards
report to Gate 4.
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128. Two security guards
report to...
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129. This pocket doesn't open.
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130. Oh, well,
I sewed the top closed,
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131. and I left it open on the side.
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132. Star Jones had that done
to her stomach.
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133. Ma, I'm hungry.
Can we get a snack?
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134. Are you nuts?
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135. Have you seen the rats
in this place?
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136. Let's just go home
and eat there.
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137. Same rats, different borough.
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138. Okay, okay, we'll get something
from the vending machines.
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139. I'll go get the tickets.
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140. All right, well, Chris,
get these bags together, okay?
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141. We'll be right back.
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142. Keep your eyes open.
And put the money
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143. away, boy!
Come on.
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144. Oh, Ma, TV seats!
Can we watch, please?
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145. Okay, we got time
for one show,
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146. and then we got
to go back.
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147. Me first.
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148. Well, let me get some change.
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149. It's broken.
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150. Well, didn't you see me
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151. about to put money
in there?
Yeah.
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152. Well, why didn't you
say something?
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153. Ain't that how it goes.
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154. Ma, this TV doesn't work.
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155. Miss, my bus is leaving
for Fort Lauderdale soon.
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156. You can have my seat then.
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157. Thank you so much.
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158. Eh, it's not a problem.
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159. Como esta, everybody?
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160. Top o' the morning to you.
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161. Top o' the day.
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162. Wherever you think
you're going,
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163. tiempo para jugar!
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164. It's time to play.
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165. Ladies and gentlemen,
I got three cards here.
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166. You guys got courage?
You know what luck is?
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167. Luck is opportunity
and preparedness
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168. coming together as one.
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169. And I'm prepared.
Are you?
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170. Three simple cards— you tell me
which one's it gonna be?
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171. Can you find the jack?
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172. It's all about this
jack, and if you pick
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173. the right one out
of these three cards,
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174. you can win some
money right now.
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175. Come on, sir, I feel
your intensity over there.
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176. "Hmm, I could win some money,
I could get my wife
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177. a nice little present;
I could bring it on
the bus when I see her."
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178. Come on. Here we go.
What you got for me?
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179. You got to find
this jack. You ready?
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180. It's all about what you see
and what you saw.
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181. Where's the jack, sir?
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182. Uh, ten bucks right here.
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183. Right there, huh?
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184. Let's turn that
over. Pa-pow!
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185. Ten dollars.
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186. This man's a winner, everybody.
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187. This man's a winner, and
I over here am a giver.
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188. There you go, sir—
lucky man, lucky man, indeed.
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189. We're gonna start it
up and running again.
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190. We're talking about...
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191. the jack, where's the jack?
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192. I'm pretty sure
it's out on the end.
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193. What about you, man, you want
to jump in on this? Here we go.
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194. Oh...!
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195. Money, money goes around,
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196. money, money,
can it be found?
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197. Congratulations. We gonna
keep this dance going.
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198. Little man,
why don't you play?
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199. Nah. I'm not allowed to gamble.
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200. Aw, this ain't gambling.
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201. This is easy. You
can handle this.
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202. See these three
little cards?
I'll show you
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203. what it's all about, see?
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204. All you have to do
is see if you... can pick...
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205. the right... card.
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206. Where's the right card?
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207. There.
Little man.
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208. I'm on him.
What's up,
little man,
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209. you want to put a
little money on that?
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210. It would've been great to take
the quicker bus down South,
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211. and even though
my mind said, "Don't do it,"
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212. my mouth said...
$20.
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213. $20 on the young man.
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214. All right. Why don't you
turn that card over.
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215. Yeah!
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216. I knew I wasn't supposed
to gamble,
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217. but I was doing it
for a good cause,
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218. and I was winning.
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219. Oh, man!
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220. Shuffle the cards
and where's the jack?
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221. Turn it over, little
man. Turn it over.
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222. Yeah! All right!
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223. You cannot lose!
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224. There you go— the money is
being passed around, everybody.
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225. Can you feel it?
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226. There's a jack in here.
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227. You need to tell me,
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228. where is it?
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229. $50.
I'll match you.
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230. I'm there, I'm there.
He has not lost.
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231. You sure?
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232. Hundred dollars
says you're wrong.
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233. I don't have a hundred.
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234. Whatcha got?
$80.
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235. Throw it down.
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236. $80.
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237. This was gonna be easy money.
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238. Turn it over.
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239. Oh, my Lord.
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240. I got jacked
with a deck of cards.
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241. ♪ Oh, flashlight
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242. Uncle Louis?
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243. No, it's Bootsy Collins.
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244. Come on, man, are you okay?
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245. Yeah. I thought
you were flying to the funeral.
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246. Oh, yeah, but the weather
was so bad that they
cancelled my flight,
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247. so I decided to ride
the bus with you.
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248. Excuse you.
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249. Sheesh!
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250. Hey, where's the big man?
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251. Oh, he's out
getting the tickets.
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252. Oh, cool. Hey, can you
go find him and tell him
to get me one?
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253. Yeah, but can you
watch the bags?
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254. Absolutely. Oh, and
if you see your mom,
tell her I'm here.
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255. I'll try to get the words out
while she's choking me.
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256. As hard as my father worked
for his money,
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257. I couldn't tell him
I got taken,
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258. so I decided to get the money
back on my own...
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259. by any means necessary.
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260. Watch your bags
as you go to the bathroom.
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261. Oh, thank you,
thank you.
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262. Watch your bags...
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263. Hey. Come on now.
You know it's not yours.
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264. Take a picture with a black kid.
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265. What?
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266. Warm your gloves.
Glove-warming.
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267. Oh, no, terrible.
Oh, this is horrible.
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268. What's he doing?
No rhythm.
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269. Can I help you?
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270. Yeah, I need five tickets;
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271. two adults, three children
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272. to Greenville, South Carolina
leaving at 8:30.
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273. That bus is delayed.
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274. I know, but whatever time
it's leaving
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275. I'm still gonna need tickets.
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276. Where are they?
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277. Who?
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278. The children. I can't sell you
children's tickets
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279. unless I see the children.
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280. Why not?
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281. Because what if they're adults?
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282. Lady, I am not running a scam.
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283. I need to go to a funeral.
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284. Sorry to hear that.
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285. I still need to see the kids.
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286. Ma'am, I've been waiting in line
almost an hour.
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287. And you didn't have time
to go get the children.
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288. Lady, I am buying bus tickets
to Greenville, South Carolina.
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289. Now that has to be
the worst scam on Earth.
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290. Now, if I am
that desperate
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291. to get out of New York City,
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292. you don't want me
hanging around,
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293. especially around the time
you get off.
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294. Is that a threat?
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295. Let's just say it's a scenario.
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296. Two adults, three kids.
That's $180.
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297. They said it was $120.
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298. That was our Underground
Railroad special.
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299. It's been discontinued.
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300. How much
are slave ship tickets?
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301. Chris.
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302. Get out of the way, huh?
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303. Hey, Dad.
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304. Who's watching our stuff?
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305. Uncle Louis.
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306. Uncle Louis is here?
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307. What'd he do, get kicked off
the plane for singing?
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308. No, his flight got canceled,
so he wants to ride with us.
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309. He wants you
to buy him a ticket.
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310. Buy him a ticket?
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311. I don't have enough money
to buy our tickets.
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312. How come
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313. Forget about it.
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314. Just give me the money
your mother gave you.
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315. Excuse me.
I'll be back in five years.
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316. Oh, um, I don't have it.
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317. What do you mean
you don't have it?
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318. What happened to it?
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319. The best thing
about having two parents
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320. is that usually one of them
wants you to live.
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321. But my father
could only help me
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322. if I told the truth.
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323. Three-card monte.
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324. Chris, I'm gonna get
that money back.
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325. Yo, here we go. Bang!
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326. Had your eyes on the prize!
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327. Jacks to be found,
I'm throwing the money down.
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328. Money coming out
to the players.
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329. You want to keep winning,
ring around the rosy.
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330. You got to find the jack
and you're gonna win the crown.
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331. Make your money stack
and find the jack.
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332. Place your bets.
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333. It's right there.
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334. Are you sure?
Place your bets.
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335. Positive.
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336. I got $50 on it.
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337. Oh. $100 says that you wrong.
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338. Are you sure that's the card?
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339. Yeah.
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340. Here we go.
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341. There you go.
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342. Take a bat.
Show me where it's at.
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343. Hmm-hmm-hmm.
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344. Don't frown.
Don't frown.
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345. This is the kind of experience
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346. that brings a father and son
closer...
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347. closer to death.
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348. The only thing my father
hated more than losing money
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349. was borrowing money.
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350. Three
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351. Yeah, we thought
we had the jack.
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352. Look, look, I'm sorry, bro.
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353. I just don't have that much
on me right now.
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354. Come on, man.
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355. Uncle Morris taught you
how to drive.
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356. Stick shift.
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357. Sorry.
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358. The rain had fallen,
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359. butthe storm
was just about to hit.
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360. Y'all acting like
somebody else died.
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361. What happened?
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362. Oh, nothing!
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363. Everything's all right,
you know.
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364. I just want
a hug...
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365. from Tonya!
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366. Hey!
Yeah!
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367. You're so funny.
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368. Why y'all acting all suspicious?
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369. I'm not acting suspicious.
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370. I was over there,
but now here.
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371. But we're cool.
Just having
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372. some good times, you know?
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373. Don't make me have
to get it out of you.
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374. Okay, I played three-card monte
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375. and I lost all the money
that you gave me to hold.
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376. Then I tried to win it back
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377. and I lost the rest
of the money.
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378. I-I didn't do anything.
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379. Gambling?
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380. How many times do I have
to tell y'all about gambling?
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381. Quick, sing "Flashlight"!
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382. Please do not leave luggage
unattended.
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383. What are you doing here anyway?
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384. Hey, does that mean we don't
have to go to the funeral?
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385. No.
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386. We're going.
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387. Drew, do you still know
those kill moves?
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388. Yeah.
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389. If anybody tries
to touch your sister
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390. or take our bags,
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391. kill 'em.
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392. You, you and you,
come with me.
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393. Hey, Rachelle, maybe
you should think about this.
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394. I thought about it.
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395. Rachelle, this guy's
really good.
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396. I don't want us
to lose any more money
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397. than we already have.
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398. He's good, huh?
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399. Yeah, he's really good.
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400. Or maybe you just suck.
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401. Listen, when I was little,
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402. my father taught me
all these scams.
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403. Three-card monte
was his favorite.
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404. Honey, when it comes
to three-card monte,
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405. you cannot win
the game.
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406. Why not?
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407. Because I always know
where the card is.
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408. But even if they pick
the right card,
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409. I just keep raising the bet
till they get scared.
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410. Oh, too bad!
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411. But what if I pick
the wrong card?
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412. Then I let you bet
everything you got.
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413. Oh, tough break.
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414. What if I don't want to play?
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415. Nobody ever wants to play.
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416. That's how come I got Rudy
and Debra over there.
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417. They're shills.
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418. Shills?
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419. Well, they act like
they don't know each other.
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420. So in order to get
the game started,
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421. they best first.
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422. So him and her?
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423. Yeah. They're
the shills.
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424. Here we go!
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425. What if somebody bets
on the right card
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426. and doesn't get scared
when you keep raising the bet?
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427. Now, honey, this is a very
important lesson right here.
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428. We run!
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429. Okay, you guys, all we need
is one good bet.
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430. What are we gonna bet?
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431. We don't have any money.
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432. You don't have any money.
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433. Where'd you get all that?
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434. Shouldn't I be saying that?
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435. Sorry.
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436. Where'd you get all that?
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437. It's from my emergency fund.
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438. If my father had ever thought
to say,
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439. "Quick, who's got $200?
It's an emergency,"
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440. she would have given it to him.
Copy !req
441. All right, you guys. Let's go.
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442. You think
it's right there?
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443. You think it's that
right there?
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444. Here we go.
Here we go.
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445. Okay, Julius,
you go over there.
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446. Louis, you stay here.
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447. If he try to run,
be ready.
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448. Chris, you come with me.
Copy !req
449. Take my advice,
don't blink twice.
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450. Pick that jack,
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451. get your money back.
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452. You, sir.
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453. I saw it.
It's this one
right here.
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454. You over there?
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455. It's that one.
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456. Little man back.
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457. You got some
more money?
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458. No.
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459. But I do.
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460. Who are you?
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461. I'm his mother,
and I got $50 on that card.
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462. I got a hundred
that says that you're wrong.
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463. I got $200 that says I'm right.
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464. Turn the card over, Mother.
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465. No, wait.
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466. Oh-oh-oh, wait!
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467. Now we wanna wait.
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468. I bet you want to run, too.
See,
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469. that's my husband over there
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470. and that's his brother
back there,
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471. so you can run,
but you're not gonna get far.
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472. You got to ask
yourself one question:
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473. Is today your lucky day?
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474. Doubt it,
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475. punk.
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476. Now give me my damn money back!
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477. Hurry!
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478. And the cards, too!
Give me the cards!
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479. Just take it.
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480. Come on, Chris.
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481. We got back the money,
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482. but there was still
one problem.
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483. Hey, where is everybody?
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484. The bus left.
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485. What?
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486. All you had to do
was watch the bags!
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487. All I wanted was
some Southern hospitality,
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488. but all I got was
Northern hostility.
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489. Oh, y'all not hungry, right?
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490. Yes, we are.
Yeah!
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491. Y'all hungry for this?
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492. Louis, this food
is incredible.
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493. Well, I figured that since
we couldn't go down South,
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494. I'd make us
a good Southern meal.
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495. Nice.
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496. Yeah, if Chris wasn't
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497. so stupid, we could have gone.
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498. Thanks, Chris.
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499. Well, what
are we gonna do
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500. with all that money we won?
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501. We?
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502. Did you hear your daddy
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503. We are gonna send Uncle Morris
some flowers
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504. and the rest of that money
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505. is going back
into my emergency fund. "We."
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506. Mm-hmm!
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507. Oh, my goodness.
Mm-mm-mm, goodness.
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508. Southern pecan pie.
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509. You know it's
my favorite, right?
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510. Want a piece?
All right now.
Yeah.
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511. You can have a piece.
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512. All you got to do
is pick out the jack.
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