Everybody Hates Chris 1x6

Directed by Eric Laneuville

Antonio Fargas as Doc Harris • Jazz Raycole as Lisa • Antonio Fargas as Sweet Tooth • Keesha Sharp as Sheila Ridenhour • Ernest Lee Thomas as Radical Man • Travis T. Flory as Joey Caruso

It's Halloween and Chris is excited when another girl invites him to a costume party. But Caruso has plans for him... Back at home, Julius buys cheap candy for the local kids.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. After I turned 13,

2. a lot of things I used to do when I was 12

3. seemed like kid stuff.

4. Like Halloween...

5. Trick or treat.

6. Hey, there we go, Reggie Jackson...

7. Yeah!

8. Miss Diana Ross!

9. Who you supposed to be?

10. I'm George Jefferson,

11. you know, fromThe Jeffersons.

12. Chris, do the walk.

13. Oh, yeah, all right.

14. I love that show. Here you go.

15. You think that's bad, you should have seen

16. the year I was Kunta Kinte's foot.

17. It wasn't that I didn't like Halloween anymore,

18. I just wanted to celebrate it like a teenager,

19. which meant going to a party.

20. You know, parties, they used to be like this:

21. But, eventually, they became this:

22. But, at 13, I had never been to a real party.

23. All I knew is that I didn't want

24. to go trick-or-treating again.

25. Chris, come straight home so you can go

26. trick-or-treating with Drew and Tonya.

27. Damn!

28. Be still, baby.

29. Mom, can I use that Chinese robe you used to wear?

30. Sure, what for?

31. I want to be a samurai.

32. And do you have anything I could use as a sword?

33. Boy, you are not taking a sword on the street.

34. Man, in Bed-Stuy,

35. you could get in trouble for pointing your finger.

36. It's down the street, right down there—

37. Drop your weapon! I ain't got no weapon.

38. I got the weapon.

39. That's my finger, man. That's my finger!

40. Do I have to take Drew and Tonya trick-or-treating?

41. Somebody has to. Me and your daddy

42. are gonna stay here and give out candy.

43. I can give out candy.

44. It's only gonna be for an hour,

45. so take 'em up the street and around the block,

46. and you'll be done. Do I have to wear a costume?

47. Not if you don't want to.

48. All right, baby.

49. I hope you can make it.

50. I'll see you later, Drew.

51. And remember, don't tell anybody, okay?

52. Okay.

53. I knew Keisha had a crush on Drew,

54. but that didn't stop me from liking her.

55. Who was that?

56. Lisa Patterson.

57. They just invited me to some Halloween party.

58. You got invited to a party? Yeah.

59. I'm not going, though.

60. I'm going trick-or-treating.

61. Drew was only 11,

62. and, as exciting as girls were,

63. they still couldn't beat free candy.

64. You want to go?

65. You can't go to a Halloween party.

66. You're supposed to take us trick-or-treating.

67. Why don't you mind your own business?

68. This is my business.

69. This was the first chance I had to go to a party,

70. and I was gonna go, even if I wasn't invited.

71. My father hated buying Halloween candy.

72. He didn't like spending money on stuff we kept,

73. so buying stuff that we gave away almost drove him crazy.

74. Hey, baby.

75. What's up, babe?

76. Nickers... What's a Nickers?

77. It's the same as a Snicker Bar. But it's a lot cheaper.

78. I go to this place, they got everything.

79. Nickers, Two Musketeers, M&Ns.

80. Julius— Gravy Way's?

81. It's the same as a Milky Way.

82. But it tastes like gravy.

83. Where you going? Out.

84. Mmm... mmm!

85. You think your mom's going to let you go?

86. I hope so.

87. What are you going to do about a costume?

88. I don't know yet.

89. Last year, I was Super Flashlight Man.

90. Why are you wearing your costume now?

91. My mom is picking me up after school.

92. I'm going to aStar Trekparty at her house.

93. You know, you really do look like Spock.

94. Live long and prosper.

95. You like getting beat up? Do that some more.

96. Sorry. You'd think a guy

97. who got his ass kicked every day

98. wouldn't leave his house in tights...

99. you would think. How old is she?

100. Lisa? Fifteen.

101. Dude, you are so in there!

102. Anytime I did anything involving a girl,

103. Greg thought I was "in there."

104. Chris, can I borrow a pencil?

105. Dude, you are so in there.

106. Hello, Chris.

107. Dude, you are so in there.

108. Had I known what I know now about teachers,

109. I'd say that was the one time he was probably right.

110. Ready?

111. Yeah, let's go.

112. The worst thing about Halloween in a white school

113. is that kids actually prepare for it

114. like they're going to war.

115. But Dr. Raymond was making it his business

116. to see that things didn't get out of hand.

117. Attention, students of Corleone Junior High.

118. Although this is Halloween,

119. I expect order to be maintained.

120. I will not tolerate vandalism.

121. I will not tolerate mischief.

122. I will not tolerate mayhem.

123. I will not tolerate terrorism in the halls

124. in any shape, form or fashion.

125. Any acts of civil disobedience

126. will be met with harsh repercussions.

127. That is all.

128. Happy Halloween.

129. Help me! Help me!

130. You okay?

131. Yeah, yeah. You okay?

132. He did the same thing during the L.A. riots.

133. What's all that?

134. Real Halloween candy.

135. Bags, everything. I even bought a pumpkin.

136. That's almost $23 worth of stuff.

137. Rochelle.

138. Look, I don't want people all over the neighborhood

139. talking about I'm that woman giving out Butter Thumbs.

140. What are we gonna do with all this Halloween candy I bought?

141. That's almost $2 worth of candy in the garbage.

142. Man, I've never seen anything like that in my life.

143. I heard last year, they set all the teachers' cars on fire.

144. Hey, I got an idea for you for your costume.

145. What? Do you know that guy,

146. he sings that song... "Little Red Corvette"!

147. Prince?

148. Yeah, the girls love that guy, and...

149. you sort of look like him.

150. You think so?

151. Yeah, a little bit.

152. Man, I can't believe we got through the whole day

153. without getting stomped. Yeah, I know.

154. All right, catch you later.

155. All right.

156. See you. Yeah.

157. So far, Halloween wasn't going so bad.

158. Ugh!

159. Ah!

160. Hey! Get off! Right now!

161. Well, I was right nine seconds ago.

162. Oh, baby, what happened?

163. I got hit with rotten eggs.

164. Oh! Don't you know better than to stand around

165. and let somebody hit you with rotten eggs?

166. Look at your hair, boy.

167. They ambushed me on the bus.

168. Ew, Chris, you stink.

169. Tonya, don't you think I know that?

170. Girl, go on. Mama, Chris said he's not

171. taking us trick-or-treating

172. because he's going to a party.

173. What party? Chris, why do I always

174. have to find out things from somebody else?

175. My mother hated "finding out about things."

176. I was gonna ask you.

177. Keisha's friend Lisa is having a party.

178. Can I go?

179. Sure.

180. I like Keisha. All right.

181. What's the matter, you don't want to go?

182. You just said I couldn't.

183. No, I didn't, boy, I just said yes.

184. You did?

185. Yeah. Should be fun.

186. You can go after you bring Drew and Tonya back.

187. And I'mma need her address and telephone number.

188. I need to know where you are, so I won't be worried.

189. Damn!

190. Want me to make you a costume?

191. Do you want me to make you a costume?

192. Prince.

193. What?

194. Can you make me a Prince costume?

195. Hmm.

196. Okay, you guys, have fun and be careful.

197. And, baby, make sure you take off

198. the Darth Vader mask so you can breathe.

199. Chris, I'll have your costume ready when you get home.

200. Thanks, Mom. Oh, and y'all don't eat

201. any candy until you get home, either.

202. My mother would never let us

203. eat the candy before we got home.

204. Don't eat the candy before I look at it!

205. There could be poison or anything in there.

206. One boy ate an apple with a razor blade in it,

207. and it cut his head off.

208. Where are we going?

209. We're gonna go trick-or-treat.

210. Are you looking for Cocoa?

211. Keisha.

212. Her name is Keisha.

213. Trick-or-treat! Trick-or-treat!

214. Hey, look at y'all!

215. I like your costume. Thank you.

216. You're welcome. Chris, where's your costume?

217. I'm not trick-or-treating. I'm just taking them.

218. Is Keisha here? No, why?

219. We're supposed to be going to a party at Lisa's,

220. but I lost her address. Oh.

221. I'll ask her about it.

222. Okay, thank you. You're welcome.

223. Tell your mama I said hi. Okay.

224. What are you doing now?

225. This candy is way too expensive to be given to one person.

226. I cannot believe you.

227. I cannot believe you.

228. Twenty-three dollars on candy.

229. Well, I'm sorry, Julius.

230. Huh?

231. This is our first Halloween in the neighborhood,

232. and I just wanted to make a good impression.

233. It's okay.

234. You want to help me finish cutting these up?

235. Okay.

236. Here.

237. Cut 'em real small. Right there.

238. Can I eat some of my candy?

239. No. You want your head to get cut off?

240. Now, let's go.

241. I want to get to this party.

242. Trick-or-treat.

243. Well, where are your kids?

244. Oh, they're outside. Just give me the candy

245. and I'll give it to them.

246. Trick-or-treat.

247. I've got the best treat of all.

248. Knowledge.

249. Trick-or-treat.

250. Hey, a ghost.

251. Ooh!

252. Thank you, sir.

253. Trick-or-treat.

254. Superhero, that's good.

255. Up, up and away!

256. Trick-or-treat.

257. What are you?

258. I'm a matador.

259. Right.

260. Ole!

261. Trick-or-treat.

262. I choose to trick: Pick a card.

263. Trick-or-treat.

264. Man, you've been here three times.

265. That wasn't me, that was my brother.

266. Trick-or-treat.

267. Hey! Little dude

268. from across the street. Hey.

269. I didn't know you still went trick-or-treating.

270. I'm not trick-or-treating. I'm just taking them.

271. Hmm. Let me have some candy.

272. Hey, you know where Lisa Patterson's party is?

273. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's gonna be the jam.

274. You going too?

275. I want to, it's just that I lost the address.

276. You meet me on the corner

277. in a half an hour, we can go together.

278. Okay, then, thanks.

279. Okay, so why'd you let him take my candy bag?

280. That's Mr. Harris. He was the neighborhood butcher.

281. But on Halloween, he became Sweet Tooth, the Candy Pimp.

282. Candy, candy, candy!

283. Halloween candy!

284. So, what you kids got in the bags?

285. Give it up to Sweet Tooth.

286. Why don't you leave us alone?

287. You know, this is a little light.

288. Hey! But I'm gonna give you kids

289. a chance to make it right for old Sweet Tooth.

290. Give my sister her candy back now!

291. I was so glad Drew didn't have a sword.

292. Do I hear back talk?

293. No.

294. I thought not.

295. Now, you kids

296. get to tricking and to treating.

297. And you best to have all my candy.

298. Sweet Tooth died two years later

299. of a bad case of gingivitis.

300. Mom, some pimp took all our candy. What?

301. If I had my sword, it wouldn't have happened.

302. Oh, I'm sorry. You know what?

303. Next time I'm sending y'all over to Park Slope.

304. Park Slope was the last thing on my mind.

305. For the first time in my life, I was going to a party.

306. Oh, and, Chris, I got your costume.

307. Ooh, woo!

308. Can I have your autograph, please?

309. Do that thing, do that thing.

310. ♪ Oh, oh!

311. Oh! One more time, one more time.

312. You left the address and the telephone number, right?

313. I'm gonna leave it on the table.

314. Okay. Don't mess up my coat, boy.

315. Even though I didn't know the phone number,

316. I was just going to a party a few blocks away.

317. As long as I came back on time,

318. I didn't have anything to worry about.

319. Now, this is what I'm talking about!

320. I waited 13 years to get to my first party,

321. and now I'm here.

322. Let's get this party started!

323. ♪ Oh, yeah!

324. ♪ Oh, yeah!

325. ♪ Ooh, ooh!

326. ♪ Ooh, ooh!

327. They act like they've never seen

328. a kid in a Prince suit before.

329. I sure hope that's a girl and a guy.

330. Planned Parenthood, here we come.

331. Not another one.

332. Hey, Julius.

333. Hey.

334. Is R— Rochelle!

335. Hey, girl, how you doing? I'm okay.

336. Chris came by earlier asking me about this party.

337. Lisa's party. Right. But he said that

338. he was gonna see Keisha there.

339. I told Keisha she could not go to that party

340. 'cause those kids are too old.

341. Ooh. Now, that's a problem. Mm-hmm.

342. I have the number. Come on in.

343. Thank you.

344. Shabazz Liquors.

345. Shabazz Liquor?

346. What's going on, man?

347. Hey, let me get one. You take this.

348. Whoa...

349. Take your time, man, slow it down, slow it down.

350. Jerome's liver died

351. three years before he did.

352. Why don't you go ask her to dance?

353. I ain't never asked a girl to dance before.

354. The worst thing she could say is no.

355. Jerome was right. At that moment, I realized

356. a woman needs a man to take control of a situation.

357. And that's what I intended to do.

358. Hey, Keisha, you want to dance?

359. Hell, no! Are you crazy?

360. Actually, all she said was no.

361. But when you're 13, no sounds a lot like this...

362. Why are you dressed in that stupid costume?

363. What are you supposed to be anyways?

364. Why are you here? Didn't nobody invite you.

365. I invited Drew. Get out of my face.

366. Dang, Keisha.

367. All you had to say was no.

368. Hey, you all right?

369. I'll be okay.

370. You want to dance?

371. This is a slow song.

372. I know.

373. You better not touch my butt.

374. Lisa Patterson was the first girl that ever had pity on me.

375. To this day, I love pity.

376. All right, that's it.

377. Man, I should have felt her ass.

378. A brother's got to try.

379. Maybe next time.

380. Even though I'd been hit with rotten eggs,

381. forced to go trick-or-treating, and humiliated by Keisha,

382. at that moment, my dream was complete.

383. I had gone to a party,

384. and nothing could take that away from me.

385. Shabazz Liquor, huh?

386. Okay, so I was wrong.

387. Stay tuned for scenes from our next episode.