1. Of all the things in schoolCopy !req
2. that could affect
your life forever,Copy !req
3. making friends, taking tests,Copy !req
4. the one thing
that could really affect itCopy !req
5. was your school picture.Copy !req
6. If your picture looked good,Copy !req
7. everybody thought
you were cool,Copy !req
8. and every girl wanted one.Copy !req
9. I got one!Copy !req
10. Ladies, ladies, please.Copy !req
11. I'm signing as fast as I can.Copy !req
12. Chris only has one hand.Copy !req
13. When you took a bad picture, it
was like giving out subpoenas.Copy !req
14. Hey, I got some
yearbook pictures.Copy !req
15. Five by sevens,
five by sevens.Copy !req
16. Wallet size.
Hey, I'll frame it up for you.Copy !req
17. I will frame it up for you.Copy !req
18. So this year I had to prepare,Copy !req
19. and the first thing I had to doCopy !req
20. was find the right outfit.Copy !req
21. I really wanted to look good.Copy !req
22. The problem was, my mother
wanted me to look good too.Copy !req
23. Chris,Copy !req
24. I got your outfit
for picture day.Copy !req
25. Only thing missing
was a hat with a propeller.Copy !req
26. Oh, Chris, you look sharp.Copy !req
27. I look stupid.Copy !req
28. How come I have to wear
Drew's old stuff?Copy !req
29. Oh, baby, I had to buy
Drew a new pair of pantsCopy !req
30. and Tonya a new pair of shoes
for their school pictures.Copy !req
31. What's wrong?
You look fine.Copy !req
32. My father thought
any clothes were good clothesCopy !req
33. Well, that's 'cause
he didn't have matching socksCopy !req
34. till he was 29.
I look like an idiot.Copy !req
35. Baby, you do not look
like an idiot to me.Copy !req
36. That'd be great if I was two.Copy !req
37. Well, can I please
wear something else?Copy !req
38. Long as I don't
have to pay for it.Copy !req
39. Just find
something to wearCopy !req
40. and I'll take
a look at it, okay?Copy !req
41. I don't have
anything special.Copy !req
42. When I was a kid,
we didn't need special clothes.Copy !req
43. Just having clothes was special.Copy !req
44. The only way I was gonna get
my mother to spend money on meCopy !req
45. was if not doing it
would embarrass her.Copy !req
46. Mom, I'm the only black kid
in the whole school.Copy !req
47. They already think
I'm a crack baby.Copy !req
48. Wearing this sweater, they'll
probably think I'm on welfare.Copy !req
49. Who said we were on welfare?Copy !req
50. Be home from school
on time tomorrow.Copy !req
51. We're gonna
go shopping.Copy !req
52. I thought you said
we didn't have the money.Copy !req
53. Oh, I'll get it.Copy !req
54. Or they'll think
that we on welfare.Copy !req
55. If people thought
we were homeless,Copy !req
56. I could've got
some leather socks.Copy !req
57. When my mother couldn't get
any business to hire her,Copy !req
58. she would start
her own business from home.Copy !req
59. The secret to success
in selling Yvonne cosmeticsCopy !req
60. is in attitude.Copy !req
61. Now, when I started
selling Yvonne,Copy !req
62. I was like
a lot of you.Copy !req
63. I was raising my kids,
doing houseworkCopy !req
64. and wondering
where I went wrong. But since,Copy !req
65. I've divorced my husband,
my kids moved in with my mother,Copy !req
66. and just last month
I won an award:Copy !req
67. the Yvonne yellow
Buick Riviera.Copy !req
68. Wait. So how can
we make money again?Copy !req
69. Well, you do like me.Copy !req
70. You sell your products
to women like yourself,Copy !req
71. then they sell them
to women like them.Copy !req
72. Now, isn't that
the pyramid scheme?Copy !req
73. Oh, no. Of course not.Copy !req
74. We use the triangulated
vertical integration model,Copy !req
75. or TVI for short.Copy !req
76. TVIs work from
the bottom up.Copy !req
77. This is your business, ladies.Copy !req
78. There is no one
below you.Copy !req
79. So that means
we're at the top.Copy !req
80. No, you're at the bottom.Copy !req
81. But that's as high
as you can go.Copy !req
82. Count me in.Copy !req
83. Me too.
Yeah, girl.Copy !req
84. We're gonna make some money.Copy !req
85. While my mother
was keeping it together,Copy !req
86. Tonya was tearing things apart.Copy !req
87. You broke my car?
It fell.Copy !req
88. It didn't just fall.Copy !req
89. What were you doing
in here anyway?Copy !req
90. I was trying to see if my doll
could ride in it.Copy !req
91. It's a model car.Copy !req
92. Nobody's supposed to fit in it.Copy !req
93. It's just a stupid car,
Drew.Copy !req
94. Say you're sorry.
I ain't saying nothing.Copy !req
95. Drew was a pretty nice guy,
but if you crossed him,Copy !req
96. it was a whole different game.
It's all right.Copy !req
97. You done messed up.Copy !req
98. What's all this?Copy !req
99. Yvonne cosmetics.Copy !req
100. I'm gonna be a sales rep.Copy !req
101. You're not working
from home again, are you?Copy !req
102. My father hated
when my motherCopy !req
103. went into business
for herself.Copy !req
104. I know it's January, sir,Copy !req
105. but candy corn is not just
for Halloween anymore.Copy !req
106. She ran up the phone bill.Copy !req
107. She put my father to work.Copy !req
108. What you mean you got to
put it together yourself?Copy !req
109. Shh! What size
shoe you wear?Copy !req
110. And she was always eating.Copy !req
111. Well, Supperware
is just like Tupperware,Copy !req
112. except it's for us.Copy !req
113. How much does
all of this cost?Copy !req
114. $75.Copy !req
115. Where'd you get $75?Copy !req
116. From our savings account.Copy !req
117. How are we supposed to save
if you keep taking money out?Copy !req
118. I need money to buy a new outfit
for Chris's picture day.Copy !req
119. But if you don't think
that I can do it, then fine.Copy !req
120. How come
you're always putting me down?Copy !req
121. It's not that. I—Copy !req
122. I just don't want all these
women hanging out over here,Copy !req
123. running their mouth, eating
our food and wasting your time.Copy !req
124. It's not gonna be
a waste of time.Copy !req
125. All right.Copy !req
126. Meanwhile, Drew
was getting revenge,Copy !req
127. and Tonya couldn't tell how.Copy !req
128. What are you
doing in my room?Copy !req
129. Are you gonna say sorry? Okay.
No.Copy !req
130. That's the same thing
Martha Stewart saidCopy !req
131. before they sent her to jail.Copy !req
132. What happened
to your hair?Copy !req
133. I wanted to try
something new for picture day.Copy !req
134. Man, you should try again.Copy !req
135. Come on, man,
it's like Billy Idol.Copy !req
136. It's just hair gel.
Yeah, but on picture day,Copy !req
137. aren't you supposed
to look like...Copy !req
138. I don't know... You?Copy !req
139. It was either this
or Boy George.Copy !req
140. Boy George? Man, the girls
would have been all over you.Copy !req
141. What about for your picture?
You do anything special?Copy !req
142. My mom's taking me shopping
for a new outfit.Copy !req
143. Get out. What are you gonna get?
I don't know.Copy !req
144. Anything that does not have
a big red fire truck on it.Copy !req
145. Nice hair. You waiting
for a white wedding?Copy !req
146. Those guys are losers.Copy !req
147. You should have seen Greg
on picture dayCopy !req
148. after he started listening
to ZZ Top.Copy !req
149. Irwin's was our
neighborhood clothing store.Copy !req
150. Before rappers
had clothing lines,Copy !req
151. you can get an outfit
for under $40.Copy !req
152. Welcome to Irwin's.Copy !req
153. Thank you. Uh, we're
looking for an outfit.Copy !req
154. With the right outfit,
you can beat any charge.Copy !req
155. I'm not charged with anything.Copy !req
156. We're just looking for an outfit
for his school pictures.Copy !req
157. Oh, oh. Okay, good.Copy !req
158. Stay in school, kid.
It'll keep you out of jail.Copy !req
159. Yeah, that
and not breaking the law.Copy !req
160. Come here. You know what
good clothes look like? Please.Copy !req
161. It's okay.
You don't like that?Copy !req
162. Mom.
No.Copy !req
163. Put it back.Copy !req
164. To find the perfect outfit
for picture day,Copy !req
165. I tried out all kinds of looks.Copy !req
166. The Isaac Hayes look.Copy !req
167. The Don King look.Copy !req
168. The Rerun.Copy !req
169. Boy, get in there.Copy !req
170. Thurston Howell III.Copy !req
171. And finally, the
"Please, Mama, can I have it?"Copy !req
172. We got Chris a new outfit
for his school picture.Copy !req
173. It's so cool. I have
a suede-front shirt.Copy !req
174. You got Chris a suede shirt?Copy !req
175. I don't even
have suede shoes.Copy !req
176. How much does
a suede shirt cost?Copy !req
177. Don't worry, Julius. I'll pay
for it out of my Yvonne money.Copy !req
178. You sold all
that stuff already?Copy !req
179. I'm having a party tomorrow.Copy !req
180. You're having a party?
Wish I was having a party.Copy !req
181. So Tonya, I was trying to put
your outfit togetherCopy !req
182. for your school picture, and I
was only able to find one shoe.Copy !req
183. Where's your other shoe?
Huh?Copy !req
184. Your shoes. Your brand-new
pair of shoes.Copy !req
185. One is missing.
Where's the other one?Copy !req
186. Wish I could afford
to lose a shoe.Copy !req
187. Drew took it.Copy !req
188. No, I didn't.Copy !req
189. The only way Tonya
could tell on DrewCopy !req
190. was if she told on herself.Copy !req
191. So she had a choice to make,Copy !req
192. and it kinda made her
feel like this...Copy !req
193. You're a low-down
lying Yankee.Copy !req
194. Prove it.Copy !req
195. Why would Drew take your shoe?
I don't know.Copy !req
196. Wish I could afford
to not know stuff.Copy !req
197. Well, you need to stop lying
on people and find your shoe.Copy !req
198. It was only
a few times at my schoolCopy !req
199. that I actually felt good.
Now, the day I showed upCopy !req
200. in a suede-front shirt,
that was one of them.Copy !req
201. Yo, what's that?
Suede.Copy !req
202. Greg's look went
from Billy IdolCopy !req
203. to his other idol, Pat Riley.Copy !req
204. Hey, Chris.Copy !req
205. Hey, Huggy Bear.
Nice shirt. When you get done,Copy !req
206. you can make some
hushpuppies out of it.Copy !req
207. He's just jealous.Copy !req
208. I had never had another kid
feel jealous of me before.Copy !req
209. It felt kind of cool.
And then this happened.Copy !req
210. My clothes are gone.Copy !req
211. Oh, man, they're taking
pictures next period.Copy !req
212. Don't you think I know that?Copy !req
213. What's wrong, Scatman?
Where'd you put my clothes?Copy !req
214. I don't know what
you're talking about.Copy !req
215. You do know
what I'm talking about.Copy !req
216. You stole my clothes.Copy !req
217. Did you see me
steal your clothes?Copy !req
218. Maybe you lost them.Copy !req
219. Well, maybe your mama
lost them.
What?Copy !req
220. That shirt cost $35,
and I want it back.Copy !req
221. I don't have it, Nipsy.Copy !req
222. We gone see about that.Copy !req
223. I knew Caruso would never
give me back my clothesCopy !req
224. unless I proved I was willing
to do what I needed to do.Copy !req
225. So I told on him.
He stole my clothes.Copy !req
226. No, I didn't.
Yes, you did.Copy !req
227. Mrs. Malone was the school's
assistant principal.Copy !req
228. She was promoted to the
position after proving the onlyCopy !req
229. thing she hated more than kids
was working with kids.Copy !req
230. Stop it. Both of you.Copy !req
231. I don't have time for this.Copy !req
232. If you stole his clothes,
give them back now.Copy !req
233. I didn't.Copy !req
234. See?Copy !req
235. Told you.Copy !req
236. I don't like liars,
young man.Copy !req
237. Lie to me again,Copy !req
238. that's detention.
I wonder whatCopy !req
239. I would have gotten
if I'd stomped on her big toe.Copy !req
240. I can't take
my pictures in this.Copy !req
241. You might not have to.
Come on.Copy !req
242. My mother was good
at buying stuff,Copy !req
243. but she was never
any good at selling.Copy !req
244. Okay, ladies, can I have
your attention, please?Copy !req
245. These women are worse than
pigeons in Central Park.Copy !req
246. Wait, 'cause
that's the last one.Copy !req
247. Ladies, can I have
your attention, please?Copy !req
248. I think I'm going to stick
with these right here.Copy !req
249. Um, ladies, how about
we all have a seat?Copy !req
250. Here, in here, please.Copy !req
251. Take a seat.
Thank you.Copy !req
252. Please, be seated.Copy !req
253. Okay, I would like to tell you
about the benefitsCopy !req
254. of buying and selling
Yvonne cosmetics.Copy !req
255. Ooh, what is that?Copy !req
256. Oh, this is a light skin-blemish
cream. It removes—Copy !req
257. No, no, no, I'm talking
about the sauce on these wings.Copy !req
258. Oh, those are honey barbecue.Copy !req
259. Yes. So, um...Copy !req
260. Ooh, these are good.Copy !req
261. I mean, good.Copy !req
262. Thank you very much,
I appreciate that.Copy !req
263. So getting back
to the cosmetic line,Copy !req
264. what we need to do, ladies,
is position ourselves—Copy !req
265. What's your name again?Copy !req
266. My name is Rochelle.Copy !req
267. Rochelle.
With Yvonne cosmetics,Copy !req
268. you need to
position yourselfCopy !req
269. in order to...
You know what?Copy !req
270. Mmm. I am late. I have got
to go pick up my sister's son.Copy !req
271. I am so...Copy !req
272. Ooh, but this is really nice.
It really was.Copy !req
273. But wait, I didn't
explain to youCopy !req
274. the marketing strategy
for Yvonne cosmetics.Copy !req
275. You know what, we-we'll come
back again next time.Copy !req
276. All right, then. You know,
I'm sorry. You know what?Copy !req
277. I got to go too. I know,
I know, I'm so sorry.Copy !req
278. I gotta go.
It's getting late.Copy !req
279. You so sweet.
God blessCopy !req
280. your little heart, you're just
as cute as you can be.Copy !req
281. I, uh... You too? I...Copy !req
282. This was great.Copy !req
283. Let us know when
you want to do it again.Copy !req
284. They ran out of there likeCopy !req
285. Keith Sweat tickets
were on sale.Copy !req
286. How y'all just going to—?Copy !req
287. Spent all this money!Copy !req
288. They ate all this?Copy !req
289. If you say,
"I told you so,"Copy !req
290. they might be the last words
you ever say.Copy !req
291. That's not what
I was going to say.Copy !req
292. Oh, it's not?
No.Copy !req
293. Oh.Copy !req
294. Well, what were you
going to say?Copy !req
295. You need to get it
together.Copy !req
296. What?
I put $75 into this,Copy !req
297. so as far as I'm concerned,
that makes us partners.Copy !req
298. And I want my money back.Copy !req
299. You think people are just
going to buy this junk?Copy !req
300. Look, I tried to
give my speech, Julius.Copy !req
301. Nobody cares about that.Copy !req
302. This is makeup,
it's not heat,Copy !req
303. it's not lights,
it's not clothes.Copy !req
304. I don't know how you're going
to sell this stuff.Copy !req
305. But either you gonna
get my money,Copy !req
306. or I'm gonna
get my money.Copy !req
307. Now, how are you going
to get your money?Copy !req
308. I don't know,
but I'm gonna get my money.Copy !req
309. You've got
to be kidding me.Copy !req
310. What choice do you have?Copy !req
311. My mother spent $35
on a new shirt for me to wear.Copy !req
312. I can't take a picture
in lost and found clothes.Copy !req
313. What'd you spend
on the pictures, $15?Copy !req
314. Oh, she's gonna kill me.Copy !req
315. You'd better take
this picture.Copy !req
316. At least she'll have something
to remember you by.Copy !req
317. The only thing Greg
was worse atCopy !req
318. than fighting
was cheering people up.Copy !req
319. It's not suede,
but it's not bad.Copy !req
320. If I had known kids
were losing clothes this cool,Copy !req
321. I would never have gone
shopping in the first place.Copy !req
322. Thank you. Thank you.Copy !req
323. All right, go ahead
and take a spotCopy !req
324. back by the girl in the pink
in the back row.Copy !req
325. And you can sit
right here, buddy.Copy !req
326. This looks like
the educated Wu Tang Clan.Copy !req
327. All right,Copy !req
328. smile.
One, two...Copy !req
329. Hold on one second.Copy !req
330. Chris, will you step
into the hallway?Copy !req
331. Go ahead. We'll wait.Copy !req
332. What's going on?Copy !req
333. He stole my shoes.
That's my sweater.Copy !req
334. That's my shirt.
Those are my pants.Copy !req
335. How the hell did he get home
with no pants?Copy !req
336. I didn't steal them. I got them
from the lost and found.Copy !req
337. Did you lose them?
No.Copy !req
338. Then you can't find them.Copy !req
339. You'd better find something
to wear.Copy !req
340. You can't take a picture
in your underwear.Copy !req
341. I guess nobody ever
told Prince that.Copy !req
342. Where'd you get that?Copy !req
343. Drama department.Copy !req
344. I felt better
in my underwear.Copy !req
345. Just stay back here.
Nobody will notice you.Copy !req
346. Hey, kid, can you kind
of slide over some?Copy !req
347. Who, me?
Yeah, you.Copy !req
348. Nah, it's no good.Copy !req
349. You know what?
Just come up front.Copy !req
350. I'd rather stay back here.Copy !req
351. Come on. Your mother
will be able to see youCopy !req
352. and you won't be lost
in the back row.Copy !req
353. My day was going bad, but my
mother's was going worse.Copy !req
354. Ladies? Ladies, can I—?
Can I please get your attention?Copy !req
355. Ooh, Rochelle,
this was just great.Copy !req
356. Um, I gotta go,
but, uh, let me knowCopy !req
357. when you're gonna do this—Copy !req
358. Oh, no, no, no, no!
You are not leaving! Sit down!Copy !req
359. Oh!
You too. Sit down.Copy !req
360. We do not appreciate
being talked to like this.Copy !req
361. Shut up!Copy !req
362. Now I brought you here
to sell some Evonne,Copy !req
363. and by damn it, I'm going
to sell some Evonne.Copy !req
364. Rochelle, that is not the way
we sellYvonne.Copy !req
365. Be quiet.Copy !req
366. Now let me ask y'all a question.Copy !req
367. Why are you here?Copy !req
368. To buy and sell Yvonne? No.Copy !req
369. You're here because
you can't get a man.Copy !req
370. We're here because
we don't need a man.Copy !req
371. Didn't I tell you
to be quiet?Copy !req
372. What?Copy !req
373. Now, I know y'all say
y'all don't want a man,Copy !req
374. and I know you say
you don't need a man,Copy !req
375. but the truth is,
you can't get a man.Copy !req
376. What you talking about, Willis?Copy !req
377. Look at her.Copy !req
378. You don't think
she don't want a man?Copy !req
379. Why do you think
she wears all this makeup?Copy !req
380. Believe or not,
the heifer's 62 years old.Copy !req
381. But she looks good.Copy !req
382. And if you want to look
like this when you're 62,Copy !req
383. I suggest that you purchase
some Yvonne.Copy !req
384. Get your wallet.
Come on, baby. Please come.Copy !req
385. Come here 'cause I saw the
dry scalp from across the room.Copy !req
386. And you know what? You gotta
get this skin lighter here.Copy !req
387. You know, it's always ashy.
No, let me tell you.Copy !req
388. You gotta put it
on your hands.Copy !req
389. Thank you so much.
It was great having you.Copy !req
390. Girl, stop
stealing crackers.Copy !req
391. Take care.
All right now.Copy !req
392. All right, girl,
no more chicken.Copy !req
393. All right, take care
of that little boy.Copy !req
394. I have to tell youCopy !req
395. I've never seen anything
like this in my life.Copy !req
396. You know what
we should do next?Copy !req
397. We should schedule
another party,Copy !req
398. but this time,
let's do it at my house.Copy !req
399. Okay.
But-but, I still
want you to bring the chicken.Copy !req
400. Well, you know what?
That sounds really good.Copy !req
401. Great. When
do you want to do it?Copy !req
402. On your 63rd birthday.Copy !req
403. Hey, is that my money?Copy !req
404. This is your money.
This is my money.Copy !req
405. Women say that in divorce court
every day.Copy !req
406. You're blocking my light.Copy !req
407. Drew, do you have my shoe?Copy !req
408. I don't know what
you're talking about.Copy !req
409. Tonya, why you
in here fooling around?Copy !req
410. You have a picture
to take tomorrow.Copy !req
411. You need to be looking
for the other shoe.Copy !req
412. Now!Copy !req
413. I'm sorry.Copy !req
414. What? I couldn't hear you.
What'd you say?Copy !req
415. Drew was never the type
to take advantage of people,Copy !req
416. but Tonya had it coming, so he
was gonna give it to her.Copy !req
417. I said I'm sorry.Copy !req
418. Sorry for what?Copy !req
419. Come on, Drew, dang.Copy !req
420. I don't know what
you're talking about, Tonya.Copy !req
421. I'm sorry
for breaking your car,Copy !req
422. and I won't mess
with your stuff anymore.Copy !req
423. And you'll stay out
of our room?Copy !req
424. Yes.Copy !req
425. Good.Copy !req
426. Now give me my shoe back.Copy !req
427. I don't have your shoe.Copy !req
428. All he wanted
was to see her crawl.Copy !req
429. Tonya.Copy !req
430. Here.Copy !req
431. Thanks.Copy !req
432. Three hours later, Tonya set
his Voltron robot on fire.Copy !req
433. Oh, Julius!
look at your baby girl.Copy !req
434. She's so...
She looks so good!Copy !req
435. Look at my handsome man!Copy !req
436. Oh, you are just too fine
for words.Copy !req
437. Look at him, Julius.Copy !req
438. Look at that, how cute he is.
Aw, man, so handsome.Copy !req
439. Chris, where's
your pictures?Copy !req
440. I hadn't told my mother
about the school picture.Copy !req
441. But when they arrived,
I had no choice.Copy !req
442. Now, before you look
at the picture,Copy !req
443. I have to tell you
something.Copy !req
444. What?Copy !req
445. Somebody stole my clothes.Copy !req
446. Somebody stole your clothes?Copy !req
447. Why in the world would somebody
steal your clothes, boy?Copy !req
448. I got one!Copy !req
449. Ladies, ladies, please,
I'm signing as fast as I can.Copy !req
450. Doyle only has one hand.Copy !req
451. I don't think
you're gonna like them.Copy !req
452. Chris, even if I don't
like the pictures,Copy !req
453. it's not the end
of the world.Copy !req
454. You are a handsome
young man,Copy !req
455. and I love you
either way, baby, okay?Copy !req
456. It cannot be
that bad.Copy !req
457. Every now and again,
my mother made me feelCopy !req
458. like I wasn't the biggest nerd
in the world.Copy !req
459. And for a moment,
I actually feltCopy !req
460. like the picture didn't matter.Copy !req
461. A lawn jockey?Copy !req
462. You took your pictures
dressed as a lawn jockey?Copy !req
463. What, they've run out
of monkey suits?Copy !req
464. Stay tuned for scenes
from our next episode.Copy !req