1. I was once happy, content,Copy !req
2. sloshing around in my own
private, primordial pool.Copy !req
3. Then one day, for reasons
beyond my control,Copy !req
4. I was repeatedly crushed...Copy !req
5. over and over by the cruel
cervix of my mother, Leslie.Copy !req
6. I put up a good fight, but I lost,Copy !req
7. for the first time, but not the last.Copy !req
8. I was born three days after 9/11.Copy !req
9. I can hear you... I can hear you,Copy !req
10. the rest of the world hears you,Copy !req
11. and the people who knocked
these buildings downCopy !req
12. will hear all of us soon.Copy !req
13. USA! USA!Copy !req
14. USA! USA!Copy !req
15. My mother and father spent
two days in the hospital,Copy !req
16. holding me under the soft
glow of the television,Copy !req
17. watching those towers
fall over and over again,Copy !req
18. until the feelings of grief
gave way to numbness.Copy !req
19. And then, without warning,Copy !req
20. a middle-class childhood
in an American suburb.Copy !req
21. Thirteen... fourteen...Copy !req
22. fifteen... sixteen...Copy !req
23. - What are you looking at, Rue?
- Seventeen...Copy !req
24. Rue, look at me.Copy !req
25. - One, two, three...
- What are you doing, Rue?Copy !req
26. I'd say she's suffering from
obsessive compulsive disorder...Copy !req
27. It's not like I was physically abused...Copy !req
28. attention deficit disorder...Copy !req
29. or had a shortage of clean water...Copy !req
30. general anxiety disorder...Copy !req
31. or was molested by a family member.Copy !req
32. and possibly bipolar disorder.Copy !req
33. But she's a little young to tell.Copy !req
34. So, explain this shit to me.Copy !req
35. Honey, it's just the way
your brain was hardwired.Copy !req
36. Plenty of great, intelligent,Copy !req
37. funny, interesting, and creative peopleCopy !req
38. have struggled with the same
things you struggle with.Copy !req
39. Like who?Copy !req
40. Uh...Copy !req
41. Vincent Van Gogh.Copy !req
42. Sylvia Plath.Copy !req
43. And your favorite: Britney Spears.Copy !req
44. - She's bald!
- Oh, my God!Copy !req
45. She is completely bald!Copy !req
46. I don't remember muchCopy !req
47. between the ages of eight and 12.Copy !req
48. Just that the world moved
fast and my brain moved slow.Copy !req
49. Okay, does anybody have any idea
of what a preposition might be?Copy !req
50. And every now and then, if I focusedCopy !req
51. too closely on the way I breathed...Copy !req
52. I'd die.Copy !req
53. Slow down, just breathe.Copy !req
54. Until every second of every day,Copy !req
55. you find yourself trying
to outrun your anxiety.Copy !req
56. What's wrong, Rue?Copy !req
57. And quite frankly...Copy !req
58. I'm just fucking exhausted.Copy !req
59. You said the doctor was in our network.Copy !req
60. How could he suddenly be out of network?Copy !req
61. I can't afford it.Copy !req
62. Did you see that video
of the beauty queenCopy !req
63. who got acid thrown on her face?Copy !req
64. - Mm, uh, what? No.
- It's pretty fucked up.Copy !req
65. - Hey, Mom, you got any tampons?
- In my bathroom, under the sink.Copy !req
66. And at some point, you make a choiceCopy !req
67. about who you are and what you want.Copy !req
68. Oh, my...Copy !req
69. All right, Gia, let's roll.Copy !req
70. Why is the co-payment $300?Copy !req
71. Rue, did you eat breakfast?Copy !req
72. What's with the sunglasses?Copy !req
73. What sunglasses?Copy !req
74. I just showed up one day,
without a map or a compass...Copy !req
75. Attention, students,
we need to lockdown.Copy !req
76. or to be honest, anyone capableCopy !req
77. of giving on iota of
good fucking advice.Copy !req
78. And I know it all may
seem sad, but guess what?Copy !req
79. I didn't build this system,
nor did I fuck it up.Copy !req
80. And then it happens.Copy !req
81. That moment when your
breath starts to slow.Copy !req
82. And every time you breathe,Copy !req
83. you breathe out all the oxygen you have.Copy !req
84. And everything stops:Copy !req
85. your heart, your lungs,Copy !req
86. then finally, your brain.Copy !req
87. And everything you feel, and
wish, and want to forget,Copy !req
88. it all just sinks.Copy !req
89. And then suddenly...Copy !req
90. you give it air again,
give it life again.Copy !req
91. I remember the first
time it happened to me,Copy !req
92. I got so scared I wanted to call 911.Copy !req
93. Go to the hospital and be kept
alive by machines and apple juice.Copy !req
94. But I didn't want to look like an idiot,Copy !req
95. and I didn't want to fuck
up everyone's night.Copy !req
96. And then over time, it's all I wanted...Copy !req
97. Those two seconds of nothingness.Copy !req
98. I spent a good portion of the
summer before junior yearCopy !req
99. in rehab.Copy !req
100. God grant me the serenity to
accept the things I cannot change,Copy !req
101. the courage to change the things I can,Copy !req
102. and the wisdom to know the difference.Copy !req
103. Rue!Copy !req
104. - Come here!
- Hey.Copy !req
105. - How are you?
- Good.Copy !req
106. - I missed you.
- I missed you, too.Copy !req
107. - Look at you. Are you growing?
- No.Copy !req
108. Hey!Copy !req
109. I'm very happy for you, Rue.Copy !req
110. You're about to start
a brand-new chapter.Copy !req
111. It was the end of summer, the
week before school started.Copy !req
112. I had no intention of staying clean.Copy !req
113. And Jules had just moved to town.Copy !req
114. There's some new girl in town that
I think you gonna be friends with.Copy !req
115. - Who?
- Shit, I don't know.Copy !req
116. She came in yesterday lookin'
all Sailor Moon and shit.Copy !req
117. I'm thinking to myself, like,Copy !req
118. look like somebody Rue
would get along with.Copy !req
119. Which was sort of like a
dead-on observation for Fezco,Copy !req
120. who's not normally revolving in the
same direction as planet Earth.Copy !req
121. So, how long you been back?Copy !req
122. - Five days.
- And like,Copy !req
123. - how you feelin'?
- I mean,Copy !req
124. ever since I gave my life over to
my lord and savior Jesus Christ,Copy !req
125. things have been, like, really good.Copy !req
126. - Word? That's what's up.
- Yeah.Copy !req
127. I'm fucking with you, Fez.Copy !req
128. - It was a joke.
- Shit.Copy !req
129. Hey, I don't judge.Copy !req
130. Uh, but low-key, is Ashtray in the back?Copy !req
131. Are you serious?Copy !req
132. What, you think 'cause I went
to rehab, I stayed clean?Copy !req
133. I mean, ain't that the point?Copy !req
134. Yeah, well, the world's
coming to an end,Copy !req
135. and I haven't even
graduated high school yet.Copy !req
136. I thought your ass was dead.Copy !req
137. I thought you had Asperger's till
I realized you're just a prick.Copy !req
138. This is a fickle industry.
Y'all come and go.Copy !req
139. I'm just trying to stack my
cash, pay off our mortgage.Copy !req
140. So what the fuck you want?Copy !req
141. You sure you don't want
to try nothin' new?Copy !req
142. - Like what?
- 2C-T-2, 2C-T-7,Copy !req
143. and 5-MeO-DIPT.Copy !req
144. I'm sorry, I have zero fucking
idea what you just said.Copy !req
145. It doesn't matter.Copy !req
146. But this shit is fucking lit.Copy !req
147. What is it?Copy !req
148. N-diisopropyl-5-methoxytryptamine.Copy !req
149. It's a fast-acting psychedelic.Copy !req
150. Got some similarities to LSD,Copy !req
151. but with, like, key differences.Copy !req
152. Not as visual and shit,Copy !req
153. but definitely a sense distorter.Copy !req
154. What's wrong?Copy !req
155. I'm just so happy.Copy !req
156. I don't know. The shit's
been blowing up in Tampa,Copy !req
157. and mad people like to fuck on it.Copy !req
158. Okay. Yeah.Copy !req
159. That'll be 120.Copy !req
160. - Uh, Fez said he'd spot me.
- Fezco don't spot nobody.Copy !req
161. Yeah, well, it's a post-rehab discount,Copy !req
162. - so you should ask him.
- I will go ask him,Copy !req
163. 'cause I know you're full of shit.Copy !req
164. In truth, I didn't have much of an issueCopy !req
165. with Nate until all the
bullshit with Jules.Copy !req
166. I mean, I never liked him, and
once, during freshman formal,Copy !req
167. he tried to finger me on the dance
floor without my permission.Copy !req
168. But like... it's America.Copy !req
169. And if they were throwing
an end-of-summer party...Copy !req
170. Yo, I'd do it for Rue!Copy !req
171. of course I'd fucking go.Copy !req
172. Yo. The whole world's
gonna be talking aboutCopy !req
173. how McKay threw the grimiest
fucking banger of the summer.Copy !req
174. I don't know, bro. You
know my mom is real OCD.Copy !req
175. She notices the smallest shit:
a little scratch on the wall,Copy !req
176. the dishes are out of order.Copy !req
177. Fine. We'll just take a
picture of everything,Copy !req
178. and we'll put it back
the way we found it.Copy !req
179. What the fuck is this,
Mission Impossible?Copy !req
180. Would you stop worrying about your mom,Copy !req
181. and start worrying about
all the fucking pussyCopy !req
182. that we're gonna smash tonight, bro.Copy !req
183. No, no, no, no, no. Wait.
Isn't Maddy coming tonight?Copy !req
184. I don't know.Copy !req
185. I don't give a fuck. She
broke up with me. Fuck her.Copy !req
186. See, no, bro. 'Cause she's crazy.Copy !req
187. I don't want her to come and
try to burn my house down.Copy !req
188. - Burn your...
- Yeah.Copy !req
189. Shut the fuck up.Copy !req
190. Yo. This is exactly
what I'm talking about.Copy !req
191. Right here. I'm gonna
tell you something...Copy !req
192. - Nate, don't do anything stupid. Come on.
- Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
193. Hey, yo, what up, B?Copy !req
194. Yo, how 'bout you come
and ride on this dick?Copy !req
195. No, Nate, chill, bro! Come on man.Copy !req
196. What the fuck, bro.Copy !req
197. Whoops.Copy !req
198. Jules moved from the city to the suburbsCopy !req
199. after her mom and dad got divorced.Copy !req
200. She doesn't really
like to talk about it,Copy !req
201. but dads almost never get full custody,Copy !req
202. so you know some shit
definitely went down.Copy !req
203. She went to, like, three weeks
of summer school with Kat,Copy !req
204. who failed Intro to Visual Arts.Copy !req
205. - Do you think my areolas look weird?
- No.Copy !req
206. But, like, the edges, though.Copy !req
207. Maddy, they're fine.Copy !req
208. Fine like they're kind
of weird, or fine likeCopy !req
209. nobody but me would ever
notice what I notice?Copy !req
210. Fine like shut the fuck up, Maddy.Copy !req
211. I'm disgusting. I literally
look disgusting.Copy !req
212. Maddy, you just snap the fuck out
of this. You're hot as fuck.Copy !req
213. - Nate's a loser. Who cares?
- He's not a loser. He's a dick.Copy !req
214. All dicks are losers. Duh.Copy !req
215. Look, bottom line: y'all
need to walk into this partyCopy !req
216. like your pussy costs a million dollars.Copy !req
217. For real, I'd settle
for like fifty grand.Copy !req
218. Fifty grand is a million dollars.Copy !req
219. I'd settle for, like, four Corona LightsCopy !req
220. and some non-rapey affection.Copy !req
221. - That's kind of depressing.
- Nate's just,Copy !req
222. like, totally ruined my confidence.Copy !req
223. You know when somebody just
constantly criticizes,Copy !req
224. like, everything about you?Copy !req
225. Yep. That's, like, every guy.Copy !req
226. You just need to catch a dick
and forget about your troubles.Copy !req
227. Girl, you just need to catch a dick.Copy !req
228. Seriously, Maddy, the best
thing to do after a breakupCopy !req
229. is to fuck someone new,
and then move on.Copy !req
230. Please, Kat, remind me again
how many guys you've fucked?Copy !req
231. And, um, oh, yeah, cat-fishing,
that don't count.Copy !req
232. Can you not be a cunt
for like, 15 seconds?Copy !req
233. - What are we doing for dinner?
- Dad, stop being a pervert!Copy !req
234. We're literally, like, all naked!Copy !req
235. Fuck.Copy !req
236. Okay.Copy !req
237. - Where were you?
- I went to eat.Copy !req
238. - What do you mean, you went to eat?
- What?Copy !req
239. What? Don't walk away from me.Copy !req
240. You know what, Rue? I don't trust you.Copy !req
241. I don't know what you want me to say.Copy !req
242. I want you to tell me where you were.Copy !req
243. - I just said I went to fucking eat!
- Don't you talk to me like that!Copy !req
244. You know what? I'm gonna drug test you.Copy !req
245. - Don't be slamming no doors around here.
- It was an accident.Copy !req
246. I don't care. You're not leaving this
house until you take a drug test.Copy !req
247. I just peed!Copy !req
248. Slam another door.Copy !req
249. That girl's gonna be the death of me.Copy !req
250. Shit.Copy !req
251. Now, there's a few ways
to beat a drug test.Copy !req
252. The first is simple. Stop doing drugs.Copy !req
253. But if you're in a bind
and totally fucked,Copy !req
254. option one: niacin.Copy !req
255. It's a B vitamin that, like,Copy !req
256. breaks down fat and
chemicals or whatever,Copy !req
257. and if you take a lot of
it, like 2,000 milligrams,Copy !req
258. then chug a few gallons of water,Copy !req
259. you can flush your system
in two to three days.Copy !req
260. The only problem is, it
has a few side effects.Copy !req
261. Skin flushing, extreme
dizziness, vomiting,Copy !req
262. rapid heartbeat, and sometimes death.Copy !req
263. I don't recommend it. Nor does any
legit drug site on the Internet.Copy !req
264. Option 2: synthetic urine.Copy !req
265. Yeah, fucking right.Copy !req
266. Option 3: get a non-drug
addict friend to piss for you.Copy !req
267. The only problem is...Copy !req
268. most over-the-counter
home drug testing kitsCopy !req
269. come with a heat-sensor stripCopy !req
270. that detects the
temperature of your urine.Copy !req
271. And if your parents watch you pee,Copy !req
272. you can't really do the sink trick.Copy !req
273. So you gotta get it fresh.Copy !req
274. Hey, Rue.Copy !req
275. - Hey, I, um... I need a favor.
- What?Copy !req
276. - I... like for real, Lexi.
- What?Copy !req
277. - Side effects of this option?
- Are you serious?Copy !req
278. Please.Copy !req
279. Thanks.Copy !req
280. Hey, Rue.Copy !req
281. How was rehab?Copy !req
282. Shit.Copy !req
283. - It was good. It was really, really good.
- Well, that's good.Copy !req
284. - How long have you been back?
- Five days.Copy !req
285. Oh.Copy !req
286. - New chapter.
- Mom.Copy !req
287. Hmm?Copy !req
288. Lexi and I have known each
other since pre-school.Copy !req
289. And like, in some ways
she's my best friend,Copy !req
290. even though I think we've grown apart.Copy !req
291. We don't really have
much in common anymore.Copy !req
292. Did you m... meet any cute guys there?Copy !req
293. - Here's that eyeliner.
- Thanks.Copy !req
294. Huh.Copy !req
295. Mom, I have to pee!Copy !req
296. I wish we could do this in a wayCopy !req
297. that wasn't a complete
invasion of my privacy.Copy !req
298. Well, you lost your right to
privacy after your overdose.Copy !req
299. - That was a mistake.
- Don't be flip, Rue.Copy !req
300. Could you...Copy !req
301. Thank you.Copy !req
302. You don't understand. This was
the most frightening momentCopy !req
303. a mother could witness. And Gia...Copy !req
304. - Gia, who absolutely idolizes you...
- I know, Mom.Copy !req
305. To have her find you unconscious...Copy !req
306. Can we just... Can we not
do this right now, Mom?Copy !req
307. Rue?Copy !req
308. Rue?Copy !req
309. Rue.Copy !req
310. I know a lot of you
probably hate me right now,Copy !req
311. and I get it.Copy !req
312. If I could be a different
person, I promise you, I would.Copy !req
313. Not because I want it,
but because they do.Copy !req
314. And therein lies the catch.Copy !req
315. I'm sorry... for slamming
the door earlier.Copy !req
316. It's okay. I forgive you. Come here.Copy !req
317. - Hey, Mom?
- Yeah?Copy !req
318. Can I spend the night at Lexi's tonight?Copy !req
319. - Yeah, that's fine.
- Thanks.Copy !req
320. Yeah.Copy !req
321. Where you going?Copy !req
322. Uh, I don't know. Some
party, or something.Copy !req
323. Or something?Copy !req
324. Dad.Copy !req
325. I know. You know, just,
new town. Be safe.Copy !req
326. - Yeah. I'm fine.
- Good.Copy !req
327. - Love you.
- I love you, too.Copy !req
328. - Okay.
- Have fun.Copy !req
329. Jules told me later what had happened.Copy !req
330. Looking back on it,Copy !req
331. she probably would have just been
better off going to McKay's.Copy !req
332. But...Copy !req
333. Come in.Copy !req
334. Yo, so, Cassie's a whore. Fact.Copy !req
335. No, she's not. Fact. She's
not even that type of girl.Copy !req
336. Oh. Have you seen her
slut pages, though?Copy !req
337. - No.
- They're wild, yo.Copy !req
338. - She's like a fuckin' freak!
- Cassie's on the slut pages?Copy !req
339. Yo, we gotta see this shit.Copy !req
340. Yo, what are y'all even
doing out the room, man?Copy !req
341. - Go back upstairs, bro.
- What?Copy !req
342. Thing one and thing
two. Take it up, man.Copy !req
343. - Take it up.
- Relax. No one gets here till ten.Copy !req
344. What's up, Nate?Copy !req
345. What's good, what's good, good lookin'.Copy !req
346. Look, all I'm saying is, I think
you did Cassie. That's it.Copy !req
347. McKay, whether I like her
or not is irrelevant.Copy !req
348. The fact is, she's a fucking
whore through and through, bro.Copy !req
349. All right, look, I don't know what
she's done, guys, but I'm just saying,Copy !req
350. I think she's cool. She's
smart. She's funny.Copy !req
351. Bro, she likes cars, man.Copy !req
352. She loves cars. Shit,
thank you for telling me.Copy !req
353. - What the fuck?
- Dude's got mad feelings.Copy !req
354. For real, yo. McKay's about
to start a Pinterest, guys.Copy !req
355. Just wait. Give it a minute.Copy !req
356. Yo, did you say you don't
know what she's done?Copy !req
357. No, I don't know.Copy !req
358. Take a seat.Copy !req
359. You and I are gonna take a little
trip to the land of shame, bro.Copy !req
360. Here's the fucking thing that
pisses me off about the world.Copy !req
361. Like, every time someone's
shit gets leaked,Copy !req
362. whether it's J. Law or Leslie Jones,Copy !req
363. the whole world's like, "Well
if you don't want it out there,Copy !req
364. don't take the nudes
in the first place."Copy !req
365. I'm sorry. I know your generationCopy !req
366. relied on flowers and
fathers' permission,Copy !req
367. but it's 2019, and unless you're Amish,Copy !req
368. nudes are the currency of
love, so stop shaming us.Copy !req
369. Shame the assholes who
create password-protectedCopy !req
370. online directories of
naked, underage girls.Copy !req
371. Cassie's actually super sweet.Copy !req
372. You remember, like, from earlier.Copy !req
373. - Yo, Rue, Rue.
- Hey. How you been?Copy !req
374. She's just being coy.Copy !req
375. 'Cause she has a new boyfriend
she's head over heels for.Copy !req
376. Mom, stop being retarded.
He's not my boyfriend.Copy !req
377. Oh. Okay!Copy !req
378. Who's that handsome young man who
came over for dinner last night?Copy !req
379. - Oh, my God, Mom! Stop!
- Christopher McKay.Copy !req
380. So, you're dating McKay.Copy !req
381. Okay, Mom, I'm literally going
to poison you in your sleep.Copy !req
382. So, Rue, how was rehab?Copy !req
383. Um...Copy !req
384. Did you m... meet any cute guys there?Copy !req
385. - Here's that eyeliner.
- Thanks.Copy !req
386. But anyway, back to this bullshit.Copy !req
387. And the Oscar goes to...Copy !req
388. - Oh!
- Shit!Copy !req
389. I'm talkin' 'bout, like, tag team.Copy !req
390. - That's what I'm saying. Double team.
- Like, triple.Copy !req
391. With Roy in the front.Copy !req
392. You can even tell that that's her, man.Copy !req
393. It's her, bro.Copy !req
394. This is definitely her.
Look at her titties.Copy !req
395. You want my advice? You fuck
her like the whore she is,Copy !req
396. you kick her ass to the curb.Copy !req
397. If you don't, we will.Copy !req
398. Shut your all little
virgin asses up, man.Copy !req
399. Y'all wouldn't even know
what to do with that.Copy !req
400. Are you crazy? I just got
a tutorial, step-by-step.Copy !req
401. It's obvious that Nate
got in McKay's head,Copy !req
402. because Cassie told
Lexi, and Lexi told me,Copy !req
403. that the night of the party...Copy !req
404. What?Copy !req
405. Nothing.Copy !req
406. Why do you keep staring at me?Copy !req
407. I'm sorry. Kind of
spaced out for a second.Copy !req
408. I wasn't being weird, was I?Copy !req
409. No. You're being cute.Copy !req
410. Listen, I don't want to sound
corny or whatever, but...Copy !req
411. you are literally the most
beautiful girl I've ever seen.Copy !req
412. They hooked up.Copy !req
413. Fuck.Copy !req
414. You always this wet?Copy !req
415. Kind of. It's super embarrassing.Copy !req
416. - Does it turn you off?
- Not at all.Copy !req
417. It's cool.Copy !req
418. Stay right here.Copy !req
419. Aah!Copy !req
420. McKay. McKay, stop! Stop...Copy !req
421. Now, I know this looks
disturbing, but for real,Copy !req
422. I promise you, this
does not end in a rape.Copy !req
423. But here's the thing.Copy !req
424. Everyone on the planet
watches porn. Fact.Copy !req
425. And if you were to click on the 20 most
popular videos on Porn Hub right now,Copy !req
426. this is basically what you'd see:Copy !req
427. Good girl, yes, yes.Copy !req
428. Are you gonna be an
obedient little slut?Copy !req
429. - Say thank you, again.
- Oh, thank you.Copy !req
430. I'm not trying to be sex
negative or anything.Copy !req
431. - I'm just saying...
- Stop!Copy !req
432. this shit isn't out
of left fucking field.Copy !req
433. - Fuck, McKay!
- What did I do?Copy !req
434. Why would you grab me like
that? I couldn't breathe.Copy !req
435. I don't know. I thought you liked that.Copy !req
436. Why the fuck would I like that?Copy !req
437. Cassie, I'm sorry. I didn't know.Copy !req
438. I just didn't expect it.Copy !req
439. Cassie, I'm really sorry,
okay? I'm sorry.Copy !req
440. You know I would never
do anything to hurt you.Copy !req
441. Just don't do it again.Copy !req
442. Unless you ask me first.Copy !req
443. Or I ask you.Copy !req
444. Anyway, I didn't go to
Lexi's. That was a lie.Copy !req
445. So, I was walking to McKay's party,Copy !req
446. because I have this rule that I don't
drink and bike, 'cause like...Copy !req
447. - Is that...?
- Oh, shit. Slow down.Copy !req
448. Dude, that's Rue. Oh, my God.Copy !req
449. - Wait. Didn't Rue, like, die?
- Oh, my God, I hate ghosts.Copy !req
450. Yo, Casper! You want a ride?Copy !req
451. Why, thank you.Copy !req
452. - Ah. How old are you?
- Uh, 22.Copy !req
453. Thanks.Copy !req
454. Do you live in town?Copy !req
455. Uh, no. I'm just, uh,
visiting my grandparents.Copy !req
456. Hmm.Copy !req
457. What about you?Copy !req
458. Do you walk around like this?Copy !req
459. What do you mean?Copy !req
460. Well, this is how you look generally?Copy !req
461. I mean... yeah.Copy !req
462. You're beautiful.Copy !req
463. Thank you.Copy !req
464. I'm envious of your
generation, you know.Copy !req
465. You guys don't care as
much about the rules.Copy !req
466. You know, I think that's a good thing.Copy !req
467. And I don't want to be that old
guy that gives you advice,Copy !req
468. but I look at you and
I think there are...Copy !req
469. two versions of how your life can go.Copy !req
470. You can either go
someplace, where you'reCopy !req
471. wanted for who you are.Copy !req
472. Or you can stay in a town
like this. End up like me.Copy !req
473. Living your life out in motel rooms.Copy !req
474. Selfishly...Copy !req
475. I hope you stay.Copy !req
476. Wider.Copy !req
477. Wider. There you go.Copy !req
478. That's it. Good girl.Copy !req
479. Jules once told me that every
night when she was a kid,Copy !req
480. like, five or something...Copy !req
481. Spit.Copy !req
482. she'd lock herself in the bathroom,Copy !req
483. get down on her hands and knees, and...Copy !req
484. pray to God.Copy !req
485. She'd pray that when she
woke up in the morning,Copy !req
486. she'd be 25 years old.Copy !req
487. She'd live with her best friend, a girl.Copy !req
488. Someone she hadn't met yet, but...Copy !req
489. someone she knew she'd trust forever.Copy !req
490. I don't know why, but when
she told me that story,Copy !req
491. I started to cry so
hard I hyperventilated.Copy !req
492. You're so clean.Copy !req
493. And you don't know how rare that is.Copy !req
494. Jules just kept laughing and
saying, "What's wrong?" But...Copy !req
495. I didn't know.Copy !req
496. And then, the night got weird.Copy !req
497. - Hey.
- Hey.Copy !req
498. Now, there's a couple versions
of what happened that night.Copy !req
499. It all depends on who you
ask, and to be honest,Copy !req
500. I'm not always the most
reliable narrator.Copy !req
501. But Nate was fucking on one.Copy !req
502. And in turn, Maddy was fucking on one.Copy !req
503. Hi.Copy !req
504. Get undressed. I want to go swimming.Copy !req
505. - You're so hot.
- I know.Copy !req
506. You're fucking crazy.Copy !req
507. No, I'm not. I'm just trying to get
back at my really shitty ex-boyfriend.Copy !req
508. What?Copy !req
509. What if I told you that I wanted you
to fuck me, right here, right now?Copy !req
510. Are you serious?Copy !req
511. And that's right about
the time that JulesCopy !req
512. decided to ghost her hookup
and bike over to McKay's.Copy !req
513. Now, Jules texted Kat, but Kat
didn't answer, because...Copy !req
514. So what's the deal with your friend, BB?Copy !req
515. What about her?Copy !req
516. Well, is she like a prude,
or is she like a slut?Copy !req
517. Definitely a slut.Copy !req
518. - What about you?
- What about me?Copy !req
519. Are you a slut?Copy !req
520. Yeah, I'm a fucking savage.Copy !req
521. Oh, yeah? What's your number?Copy !req
522. Huh. Higher than you two can count.Copy !req
523. Stop playing. You're a fucking prude.Copy !req
524. Now, Kat wasn't a prude,
but she was a virgin.Copy !req
525. She'd told Jules that a
week into summer school,Copy !req
526. and when Kat saw her reaction:Copy !req
527. Bitch, this isn't the '80s.
You need to catch a dick.Copy !req
528. She was on a mission
to enter junior yearCopy !req
529. as a woman of questionable morals.Copy !req
530. Let me ask you a question.Copy !req
531. If I were to pull my dick out
right now, would you suck it?Copy !req
532. I don't know. Let me see it.Copy !req
533. It's not hard yet.Copy !req
534. You've probably never
sucked a dick in your life.Copy !req
535. Yeah, I have.Copy !req
536. No, most girls don't
know how to suck dick.Copy !req
537. - Yeah.
- What do you mean?Copy !req
538. Well, they're too gentle. It's like,Copy !req
539. they're fucking scared
of it or something.Copy !req
540. - Not in porn.
- Exactly.Copy !req
541. - You watch porn?
- Doesn't everyone?Copy !req
542. No. Every guy does. Yeah.Copy !req
543. Not prudes. Only sluts.Copy !req
544. Yeah, well...Copy !req
545. Yeah, but like, how much?Copy !req
546. - What?
- How much of a slut are you?Copy !req
547. Mm. Why don't you come find out?Copy !req
548. Why don't you take your top off?Copy !req
549. Like, right now, in front
of... In front of these two?Copy !req
550. Yeah.Copy !req
551. I dare you.Copy !req
552. Yo, you know what they say, right?Copy !req
553. Fat girls give the best head.Copy !req
554. I was out back talking to
Fezco when Jules arrived.Copy !req
555. What the fuck, Rue?Copy !req
556. What? What, what, what, what?Copy !req
557. Come on now, bruh. You owe me 120 bucks.Copy !req
558. My bad, man, I forgot.Copy !req
559. Shit, you know I ain't trippin'.Copy !req
560. Well, to be honest with you,Copy !req
561. your whole drug shit got
me feeling kind of uneasy.Copy !req
562. Come on, don't go soft on me, Fez.Copy !req
563. No, I'm not. It's just that...Copy !req
564. I like you. And I missed
you, bruh. Like...Copy !req
565. That shit at the beginning of summerCopy !req
566. had me scared as fuck.Copy !req
567. - Yeah, you and everybody else.
- I'm serious, Rue.Copy !req
568. I've seen a lot of people die.Copy !req
569. None like you.Copy !req
570. I don't know what type of fucked up shitCopy !req
571. you got going inside your head.Copy !req
572. I don't know how to help, but
I could tell you one thing:Copy !req
573. this drug shit, it's not the answer.Copy !req
574. You know, I remember when
I was eleven years old...Copy !req
575. It was a couple months after
my dad got diagnosed,Copy !req
576. and we got the results
back from the prognosis.Copy !req
577. And it was really good.
It was like, 80/20.Copy !req
578. And we decided to celebrate, so...Copy !req
579. we like ordered a bunch of Chinese food.Copy !req
580. I remember that night, I was
laying between my parents in bed,Copy !req
581. and, uh...Copy !req
582. all of a sudden I couldn't breathe.Copy !req
583. It was like there was no
more air left in the world.Copy !req
584. And I was gasping, and I was panicking.Copy !req
585. And they called the ambulance
and they thought it was like...Copy !req
586. an allergic reaction or some shit.Copy !req
587. And then when I got to the hospital,Copy !req
588. they gave me liquid Valium.Copy !req
589. Yeah. To calm me down.Copy !req
590. And when it hit me, I thought...Copy !req
591. This is it.Copy !req
592. This is the feeling I have been
searching for my entire life,Copy !req
593. for as long as I could remember.Copy !req
594. Because suddenly,Copy !req
595. the world went quiet.Copy !req
596. And I felt safe, in my own head.Copy !req
597. Two years later, he was gone.Copy !req
598. Panic attacks stayed.Copy !req
599. And I found a way to live, so...Copy !req
600. Will it eventually kill me? Maybe.Copy !req
601. Fuck, maybe not. I don't know.Copy !req
602. You still gonna be my dealer, Fez?Copy !req
603. You a fucking trip, bruh.Copy !req
604. I'm too high to be having
this conversation right now.Copy !req
605. Yeah, man. Me, too.Copy !req
606. Me fucking too.Copy !req
607. Yeah, that's real classy,
you fucking whore.Copy !req
608. Suck my dick.Copy !req
609. Ooh!Copy !req
610. Get the fuck out of here! Get the
fuck out of the kitchen! Fuck!Copy !req
611. Get out of here. Get
the fuck out of here.Copy !req
612. What the fuck are you looking at?Copy !req
613. Who are you?Copy !req
614. - I'm Jules. I'm a friend of...
- You're a friend of, uh...Copy !req
615. A friend of whose? 'Cause
you're not my fucking friend.Copy !req
616. Who the fuck are you
friends with, Jules?Copy !req
617. Hmm?Copy !req
618. Do you guys know who the fuck this is?Copy !req
619. Does anybody know who this is?Copy !req
620. Does anybody know who the fuck Jules is?Copy !req
621. Anyone at all. You, do you
know who the fuck Jules is?Copy !req
622. So, who are you?Copy !req
623. I'm just minding my own business.
I'm not trying to start anything.Copy !req
624. Well, no, you're not.
Nobody that looks like youCopy !req
625. is minding their own fuckin' business.Copy !req
626. I know what you are.Copy !req
627. Yeah. Yeah, I see you.Copy !req
628. So what do you want, huh?Copy !req
629. You want some, some fucking attention?Copy !req
630. 'Cause I'll give you
some fucking attention.Copy !req
631. Yo, is anybody here friends with Jules?Copy !req
632. Anyone? Does anybody know
who the fuck this bitch is?Copy !req
633. Somebody better speak up, or this
bitch is gonna get fucked up!Copy !req
634. Shit!Copy !req
635. - You wanna fucking hurt me?
- No, I was fucking kidding!Copy !req
636. Back the fuck up! What the
fuck is your problem?Copy !req
637. Put the fucking knife down, okay.Copy !req
638. - It was a joke.
- You wanna fucking hurt me?Copy !req
639. - No, no, no...
- You have no fucking idea!Copy !req
640. - See?
- You're psycho!Copy !req
641. - I'm fucking invincible!
- You're a fucking freak.Copy !req
642. What the fuck?Copy !req
643. By the way, I'm Jules.Copy !req
644. I just moved here.Copy !req
645. I mean... right?Copy !req
646. Where the fuck have you been? You
missed the craziest shit ever!Copy !req
647. I just lost my virginity.Copy !req
648. Bitch, are you fucking
serious? With who?Copy !req
649. This guy from St. Mary's.Copy !req
650. - How did you like it?
- It was nice. Yeah.Copy !req
651. Oh, my God. My little slut.
I'm so proud of you!Copy !req
652. Yo! Shit, uh...Copy !req
653. - Are you okay?
- Uh, uh, yeah. It's fine.Copy !req
654. Guess I knew that was gonna get violent,Copy !req
655. and I didn't want a fucking
broken cheekbone or some shit.Copy !req
656. Yeah, no, no, I totally, like,
I get the logic behind it.Copy !req
657. But it's still, like, fucking insane.Copy !req
658. - I'm Rue.
- I'm Jules.Copy !req
659. Where are you headed to?Copy !req
660. Home. Probably.Copy !req
661. Can I come with you?Copy !req
662. Shh.Copy !req
663. Let me see.Copy !req
664. Oh.Copy !req
665. Shh!Copy !req
666. Sorry. Sorry.Copy !req
667. Remember when I said things got weird?Copy !req
668. So... yeah.Copy !req
669. I've got an idea.Copy !req
670. What?Copy !req
671. Wanna get high?Copy !req