1. I was once happy. Content.Copy !req
2. Sloshing around in my own private,
primordial pool.Copy !req
3. Then one day,
for reasons beyond my control,Copy !req
4. I was repeatedly crushed...Copy !req
5. over and over by the cruel
cervix of my mother, Leslie.Copy !req
6. I put up a good fight, but I lost,Copy !req
7. for the first time, but not the last.Copy !req
8. I was born three days after 9/11.Copy !req
9. I can hear you, I can hear you,
the rest of the world hears you,Copy !req
10. and the people who knocked
these buildings downCopy !req
11. will hear all of us soon.Copy !req
12. USA, USA! USA, USA!Copy !req
13. My mother and father spent two days
in the hospital,Copy !req
14. holding me under the soft glow
of the television,Copy !req
15. watching those towers fall
over and over again,Copy !req
16. until the feelings of grief
gave way to numbness.Copy !req
17. And then, without warning,Copy !req
18. a middle-class childhood
in an American suburb.Copy !req
19. Thirteen... fourteen...Copy !req
20. fifteen... sixteen...Copy !req
21. - What are you looking at, Rue?
- Seventeen...Copy !req
22. Rue, look at me.Copy !req
23. - One, two, three...
- What are you doing, Rue?Copy !req
24. I'd say she's suffering
from obsessive compulsive disorder...Copy !req
25. It's not like I was physically abused...Copy !req
26. attention deficit disorder...Copy !req
27. - ... or had a shortage of clean water...
- ... general anxiety disorder...Copy !req
28. or was molested by a family member.Copy !req
29. and possibly bipolar disorder.
But she's a little young to tell.Copy !req
30. So, explain this shit to me.Copy !req
31. Honey, it's just the way
your brain was hardwired.Copy !req
32. Plenty of great, intelligent, funny,
interesting, and creative peopleCopy !req
33. have struggled with the same things
you struggle with.Copy !req
34. Like who?Copy !req
35. Vincent Van Gogh.Copy !req
36. Sylvia Plath.Copy !req
37. And your favorite, Britney Spears.Copy !req
38. - She's bald!
- Oh, my God!Copy !req
39. She is completely bald.Copy !req
40. I don't remember much
between the ages of eight and 12.Copy !req
41. Just that the world moved fast
and my brain moved slow.Copy !req
42. Does anybody have any idea
of what a preposition might be?Copy !req
43. And every now and then, if I focused
too closely on the way I breathed...Copy !req
44. I'd die.Copy !req
45. Slow down, just breathe.Copy !req
46. Until every second of every day,Copy !req
47. you find yourself
trying to outrun your anxiety.Copy !req
48. What's wrong, Rue?Copy !req
49. And quite frankly...Copy !req
50. I'm just fucking exhausted.Copy !req
51. You said the doctor was in our network.
How could he suddenly be out of network?Copy !req
52. I can't afford it.Copy !req
53. Did you see that video
of the beauty queenCopy !req
54. who got acid thrown on her face?Copy !req
55. - Mm, what? No.
- It's pretty fucked up.Copy !req
56. - Hey, Mom, you got any tampons?
- In my bathroom, under the sink.Copy !req
57. And at some point, you make a choice
about who you are and what you want.Copy !req
58. Oh, my...Copy !req
59. All right, Gia, let's roll.Copy !req
60. Why is the co-payment $300?Copy !req
61. Rue, did you eat breakfast?Copy !req
62. - What's with the sunglasses?
- What sunglasses?Copy !req
63. I just showed up one day,
without a map or a compass...Copy !req
64. Attention, students,
we need to lockdown.Copy !req
65. or to be honest, anyone capable of
giving on iota of good fucking advice.Copy !req
66. And I know it all may seem sad,
but guess what?Copy !req
67. I didn't build this system,
nor did I fuck it up.Copy !req
68. And then it happens. That moment
when your breath starts to slow.Copy !req
69. And every time you breathe, you
breathe out all the oxygen you have.Copy !req
70. And everything stops:Copy !req
71. your heart, your lungs,Copy !req
72. then finally, your brain.Copy !req
73. And everything you feel, and wish,
and want to forget, it all just sinks.Copy !req
74. And then suddenly...Copy !req
75. you give it air again,
give it life again.Copy !req
76. I remember the first time it happened to
me I got so scared I wanted to call 911.Copy !req
77. Go to the hospital and be kept alive
by machines and apple juice.Copy !req
78. But I didn't want to look like an idiot,Copy !req
79. and I didn't want
to fuck up everyone's night.Copy !req
80. And then over time, it's all I wanted...Copy !req
81. those two seconds of nothingness.Copy !req
82. I spent a good portion of the summer
before junior year in rehab.Copy !req
83. God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,Copy !req
84. the courage to change the things I can,Copy !req
85. and the wisdom to know the difference.Copy !req
86. Rue!Copy !req
87. - Come here!
- Hey.Copy !req
88. - How are you?
- Good.Copy !req
89. - I missed you.
- I missed you, too.Copy !req
90. Look at you. Are you growing? No.Copy !req
91. Hey!Copy !req
92. I'm very happy for you, Rue.Copy !req
93. You're about to start
a brand-new chapter.Copy !req
94. It was the end of summer,
the week before school started.Copy !req
95. I had no intention of staying clean.
And Jules had just moved to town.Copy !req
96. There's some new girl in town that
I think you gonna be friends with.Copy !req
97. - Who?
- Shit, I don't know.Copy !req
98. She came in yesterday
lookin' all Sailor Moon and shit.Copy !req
99. I'm thinking to myself, like, look like
somebody Rue would get along with.Copy !req
100. Which was sort of like
a dead-on observation for Fezco,Copy !req
101. who's not normally revolving
in the same direction as planet Earth.Copy !req
102. So, how long you been back?Copy !req
103. - Five days.
- And like, how are you feeling?Copy !req
104. I mean, ever since I gave my life over
to my lord and savior Jesus Christ,Copy !req
105. things have been, like, really good.Copy !req
106. - Word? That's what's up.
- Yeah.Copy !req
107. - I'm fucking with you. It was a joke.
- Shit.Copy !req
108. Hey, I don't judge.Copy !req
109. - But low-key, is Ashtray in the back?
- Are you serious?Copy !req
110. What, you think 'cause I went
to rehab, I stayed clean?Copy !req
111. I mean, ain't that the point?Copy !req
112. Yeah, well,
the world's coming to an end,Copy !req
113. and I haven't even
graduated high school yet.Copy !req
114. I thought your ass was dead.Copy !req
115. I thought you had Asperger's till
I realized you're just a prick.Copy !req
116. This is a fickle industry.
Y'all come and go.Copy !req
117. I'm just trying to stack my cash,
pay off our mortgage.Copy !req
118. So what the fuck you want?Copy !req
119. - You don't want to try nothin' new?
- Like what?Copy !req
120. 2C-T-2, 2C-T-7,
and 5-MeO-DIPT.Copy !req
121. I'm sorry, I have zero fucking idea
what you just said.Copy !req
122. It doesn't matter.
But this shit is fucking lit.Copy !req
123. - What is it?
- N-diisopropyl-5-methoxytryptamine.Copy !req
124. It's a fast-acting psychedelic.Copy !req
125. Got some similarities to LSD,
but with, like, key differences.Copy !req
126. Not as visual and shit,
but definitely a sense distorter.Copy !req
127. What's wrong?Copy !req
128. I'm just so happy.Copy !req
129. I don't know.
The shit's been blowing up in Tampa,Copy !req
130. and mad people like to fuck on it.Copy !req
131. - Okay. Yeah.
- That'll be 120.Copy !req
132. - Fez said he'd spot me.
- Fezco don't spot nobody.Copy !req
133. Yeah, well, it's a post-rehab discount,
so you should ask him.Copy !req
134. I will go ask him,
'cause I know you're full of shit.Copy !req
135. In truth, I didn't have much of an issue
with NateCopy !req
136. until all the bullshit with Jules.Copy !req
137. I mean, I never liked him,
and once, during freshman formal,Copy !req
138. he tried to finger me on the dance floor
without my permission.Copy !req
139. But like... it's America.Copy !req
140. And if they were throwing
an end-of-summer party...Copy !req
141. Yo, I'd do it for Rue!Copy !req
142. of course I'd fucking go.Copy !req
143. Yo. The whole world's
gonna be talking aboutCopy !req
144. how McKay threw the grimiest
fucking banger of the summer.Copy !req
145. I don't know, bro. You know my mom is
real OCD. A little scratch on the wall,Copy !req
146. the dishes are out of order.Copy !req
147. We'll just take a picture of everything.
We'll put it back the way we found it.Copy !req
148. What the fuck is this,
Mission Impossible?Copy !req
149. Would you stop worrying
about your mom,Copy !req
150. and start worrying
about all the fucking pussyCopy !req
151. that we're gonna smash tonight, bro.Copy !req
152. No, no, no, no, no. Wait.
Isn't Maddy coming tonight?Copy !req
153. I don't know. I don't give a fuck.
She broke up with me. Fuck her.Copy !req
154. See, no, bro. 'Cause she's crazy.Copy !req
155. I don't want her to come
and try to burn my house down.Copy !req
156. - Burn your...
- Yeah.Copy !req
157. Shut the fuck up.Copy !req
158. Yo. This is exactly
what I'm talking about.Copy !req
159. Right here.
I'm gonna tell you something...Copy !req
160. - Don't do anything stupid. Come on.
- Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
161. Hey, yo, what up, B?Copy !req
162. Yo, how 'bout you come
and ride on this dick?Copy !req
163. No, Nate, chill, bro. Come on man.Copy !req
164. Fuck, bro.Copy !req
165. Whoops.Copy !req
166. Jules moved from the city to the suburbs
after her mom and dad got divorced.Copy !req
167. She doesn't really like
to talk about it,Copy !req
168. but dads almost never get
full custody,Copy !req
169. so you know some shit
definitely went down.Copy !req
170. She went to, like, three weeks
of summer school with Kat,Copy !req
171. who failed Intro to Visual Arts.Copy !req
172. - Do you think my areolas look weird?
- No.Copy !req
173. - But, like, the edges, though.
- Maddy, they're fine.Copy !req
174. Fine like they're kind of weird,
or fine likeCopy !req
175. nobody but me would ever notice
what I notice?Copy !req
176. Fine like shut the fuck up, Maddy.Copy !req
177. I'm disgusting.
I literally look disgusting.Copy !req
178. Maddy, you just snap the fuck out
of this. You're hot as fuck.Copy !req
179. - Nate's a loser. Who cares?
- He's not a loser. He's a dick.Copy !req
180. All dicks are losers. Duh.Copy !req
181. Look, bottom line:
y'all need to walk into this partyCopy !req
182. like your pussy costs a million dollars.Copy !req
183. For real, I'd settle
for like fifty grand.Copy !req
184. Fifty grand is a million dollars.Copy !req
185. I'd settle for, like, four Corona Lights
and some non-rapey affection.Copy !req
186. - That's kind of depressing.
- Nate's totally ruined my confidence.Copy !req
187. You know when somebody
just constantly criticizes,Copy !req
188. like, everything about you?Copy !req
189. Yep. That's, like, every guy.Copy !req
190. You just need to catch a dick
and forget about your troubles.Copy !req
191. Girl, you just need to catch a dick.Copy !req
192. Seriously, Maddy, the best thing
to do after a breakupCopy !req
193. is to fuck someone new,
and then move on.Copy !req
194. Please, Kat, remind me again
how many guys you've fucked?Copy !req
195. And, oh, yeah, cat-fishing, that
don't count.Copy !req
196. Can you not be a cunt
for like, 15 seconds?Copy !req
197. Dad, stop being a pervert!
We're literally, like, all naked!Copy !req
198. Fuck.Copy !req
199. Okay.Copy !req
200. - Where were you?
- I went to eat.Copy !req
201. - What do you mean, you went to eat?
- What?Copy !req
202. What? Don't walk away from me.Copy !req
203. - You know what, Rue? I don't trust you.
- I don't know what you want me to say.Copy !req
204. I want you to tell me where you were.Copy !req
205. - I just said I went to fucking eat!
- Don't you talk to me like that!Copy !req
206. You know what?
I'm gonna drug test you.Copy !req
207. - Don't be slamming no doors around here.
- It was an accident.Copy !req
208. I don't care. You're not leaving this
house until you take a drug test.Copy !req
209. - I just peed!
- Slam another door.Copy !req
210. That girl's gonna be the death of me.Copy !req
211. Shit.Copy !req
212. Now, there's a few ways
to beat a drug test.Copy !req
213. The first is simple. Stop doing drugs.Copy !req
214. But if you're in a bind and totally
fucked, option one: niacin.Copy !req
215. It's a B vitamin that, like, breaks
down fat and chemicals or whatever,Copy !req
216. and if you take a lot of it,
like 2,000 milligrams,Copy !req
217. then chug a few gallons of water,Copy !req
218. you can flush your system
in two to three days.Copy !req
219. The only problem is,
it has a few side effects.Copy !req
220. Skin flushing,
extreme dizziness, vomiting,Copy !req
221. rapid heartbeat,
and sometimes death.Copy !req
222. I don't recommend it. Nor does
any legit drug site on the internet.Copy !req
223. Option 2: synthetic urine.Copy !req
224. Yeah, fucking right.Copy !req
225. Option 3: get a non-drug
addict friend to piss for you.Copy !req
226. The only problem is...Copy !req
227. most over-the-counter
home drug testing kitsCopy !req
228. come with a heat-sensor strip that
detects the temperature of your urine.Copy !req
229. And if your parents watch you pee,
you can't really do the sink trick.Copy !req
230. So you gotta get it fresh.Copy !req
231. Hey, Rue.Copy !req
232. - Hey, I... I need a favor.
- What?Copy !req
233. - I... like for real, Lexi.
- What?Copy !req
234. Side effects of this option?Copy !req
235. Are you serious?Copy !req
236. Please.Copy !req
237. Thanks.Copy !req
238. Hey, Rue.Copy !req
239. How was rehab?Copy !req
240. Shit.Copy !req
241. - It was good. It was really good.
- Well, that's good.Copy !req
242. - How long have you been back?
- Five days.Copy !req
243. Oh.Copy !req
244. - New chapter.
- Mom.Copy !req
245. Hmm?Copy !req
246. Lexi and I have known each other
since pre-school.Copy !req
247. And like, in some ways
she's my best friend,Copy !req
248. even though I think we've grown apart.Copy !req
249. We don't really have
much in common anymore.Copy !req
250. Did you meet any cute guys there?Copy !req
251. - Here's that eyeliner.
- Thanks.Copy !req
252. Mom, I have to pee!Copy !req
253. I wish we could do this in a wayCopy !req
254. that wasn't a complete
invasion of my privacy.Copy !req
255. Well, you lost your right to
privacy after your overdose.Copy !req
256. - That was a mistake.
- Don't be flip, Rue.Copy !req
257. Could you... Thank you.Copy !req
258. You don't understand.
This was the most frightening momentCopy !req
259. a mother could witness. And Gia...Copy !req
260. - Gia, who absolutely idolizes you...
- I know, Mom.Copy !req
261. To have her find you unconscious...Copy !req
262. Can we just...
Can we not do this right now, Mom?Copy !req
263. Rue?Copy !req
264. Rue?Copy !req
265. Rue.Copy !req
266. I know a lot of you probably hate me
right now, and I get it.Copy !req
267. If I could be a different person,
I promise you, I would.Copy !req
268. Not because I want it,
but because they do.Copy !req
269. And therein lies the catch.Copy !req
270. I'm sorry...
for slamming the door earlier.Copy !req
271. It's okay. I forgive you. Come here.Copy !req
272. Hey, Mom?Copy !req
273. - Yeah?
- Can I spend the night at Lexi's?Copy !req
274. - Yeah, that's fine.
- Thanks.Copy !req
275. Yeah.Copy !req
276. - Where you going?
- I don't know. Some party, or something.Copy !req
277. Or something?Copy !req
278. Dad.Copy !req
279. I know. You know, just, new town.
Be safe.Copy !req
280. - Yeah. I'm fine.
- Good.Copy !req
281. - Love you.
- I love you, too.Copy !req
282. - Okay.
- Have fun.Copy !req
283. Jules told me later what had happened.Copy !req
284. Looking back on it,Copy !req
285. she probably would have just
been better off going to McKay's.Copy !req
286. But...Copy !req
287. Come in.Copy !req
288. Yo, so, Cassie's a whore. Fact.Copy !req
289. No, she's not. Fact.
She's not even that type of girl.Copy !req
290. Oh. Have you seen
her slut pages, though?Copy !req
291. - No.
- They're wild, yo.Copy !req
292. - She's like a fuckin' freak
- Cassie's on the slut pages?Copy !req
293. Yo, we gotta see this shit.Copy !req
294. Yo, what are y'all even doing
out the room, man?Copy !req
295. - Go back upstairs, bro.
- What?Copy !req
296. - Thing one and thing two. Take it up.
- Oh, yo.Copy !req
297. - Take it up.
- Relax. No one gets here till ten.Copy !req
298. What's up, Nate? What's good,
what's good, good lookin'.Copy !req
299. Look, all I'm saying is,
I think you did Cassie. That's it.Copy !req
300. Whether I like her
or not is irrelevant.Copy !req
301. The fact is, she's a fucking whore
through and through, bro.Copy !req
302. All right, look, I don't know what
she's done, guys, but I'm just saying,Copy !req
303. I think she's cool. She's smart.
She's funny.Copy !req
304. Bro, she likes cars, man.Copy !req
305. She loves cars.
Shit, thank you for telling me.Copy !req
306. - What the fuck?
- Dude's got mad feelings.Copy !req
307. For real, yo. McKay's
about to start a Pinterest, guys.Copy !req
308. Just wait. Give it a minute.Copy !req
309. Yo, did you say you don't know
what she's done?Copy !req
310. No, I don't know.Copy !req
311. Take a seat. You and I are gonna take
a little trip to the land of shame, bro.Copy !req
312. Here's the fucking thing that
pisses me off about the world.Copy !req
313. Like, every time
someone's shit gets leaked,Copy !req
314. whether it's J. Law or Leslie Jones,Copy !req
315. the whole world's like, "Well
if you don't want it out there,Copy !req
316. don't take the nudes
in the first place."Copy !req
317. I'm sorry. I know your generation relied
on flowers and fathers' permission,Copy !req
318. but it's 2019,
and unless you're Amish,Copy !req
319. nudes are the currency of love,
so stop shaming us.Copy !req
320. Shame the assholes who create
password-protected online directoriesCopy !req
321. of naked, underage girls.Copy !req
322. Cassie's actually super sweet.Copy !req
323. You remember, like, from earlier.Copy !req
324. - Yo, Rue, Rue.
- Hey. How you been?Copy !req
325. She's just being coy.Copy !req
326. 'Cause she has a new boyfriend
she's head over heels for.Copy !req
327. Mom, stop being retarded.
He's not my boyfriend.Copy !req
328. Oh. Okay.Copy !req
329. Who's that handsome young man
who came over for dinner last night?Copy !req
330. - Oh, my God, Mom! Stop!
- Christopher McKay.Copy !req
331. So, you're dating McKay.Copy !req
332. Okay, Mom, I'm literally going
to poison you in your sleep.Copy !req
333. So, Rue, how was rehab?Copy !req
334. Did you meet any cute guys there?Copy !req
335. - Here's that eyeliner.
- Thanks.Copy !req
336. But anyway, back to this bullshit.Copy !req
337. And the Oscar goes to...Copy !req
338. - Oh!
- Shit!Copy !req
339. I'm talkin' 'bout, like, tag team.Copy !req
340. - That's what I'm saying. Double team.
- Like, triple.Copy !req
341. - With Roy in the front.
- You can't tell that that's her, man.Copy !req
342. - It's her, bro.
- This is her. Look at her titties.Copy !req
343. You want my advice?
You fuck her like the whore she is,Copy !req
344. you kick her ass to the curb.Copy !req
345. If you don't, we will.Copy !req
346. Shut your all little virgin asses
up, man.Copy !req
347. Y'all wouldn't even know
what to do with that.Copy !req
348. Are you crazy?
I just got a tutorial, step-by-step.Copy !req
349. It's obvious
that Nate got in McKay's head,Copy !req
350. because Cassie told Lexi, and Lexi
told me, that the night of the party...Copy !req
351. What?Copy !req
352. Nothing.Copy !req
353. Why do you keep staring at me?Copy !req
354. I'm sorry.
Kind of spaced out for a second.Copy !req
355. I wasn't being weird, was I?Copy !req
356. No. You're being cute.Copy !req
357. Listen, I don't want to sound corny
or whatever, but...Copy !req
358. you are literally the most
beautiful girl I've ever seen.Copy !req
359. They hooked up.Copy !req
360. Fuck.Copy !req
361. You always this wet?Copy !req
362. Kind of. It's super embarrassing.Copy !req
363. - Does it turn you off?
- Not at all. It's cool.Copy !req
364. Stay right here.Copy !req
365. Aah!Copy !req
366. McKay. McKay, stop! Stop...Copy !req
367. Now, I know this looks disturbing,
but for real,Copy !req
368. I promise you,
this does not end in a rape.Copy !req
369. But here's the thing. Everyone
on the planet watches porn. Fact.Copy !req
370. And if you were to click on the 20 most
popular videos on Porn Hub right now,Copy !req
371. this is basically what you'd see:Copy !req
372. Good girl, yes, yes.Copy !req
373. Are you gonna be
an obedient little slut?Copy !req
374. - Say thank you, again.
- Oh, thank you.Copy !req
375. I'm not trying to be sex negative
or anything. I'm just saying...Copy !req
376. Stop!Copy !req
377. this shit isn't
out of left fucking field.Copy !req
378. - Fuck, McKay!
- What did I do?Copy !req
379. Why would you grab me like that?
I couldn't breathe.Copy !req
380. - I don't know. I thought you liked that.
- Why the fuck would I like that?Copy !req
381. Cassie, I'm sorry. I didn't know.Copy !req
382. I just didn't expect it.Copy !req
383. Cassie, I'm really sorry, okay?
I'm sorry.Copy !req
384. You know I would never do anything
to hurt you.Copy !req
385. Just don't do it again.Copy !req
386. Unless you ask me first.Copy !req
387. Or I ask you.Copy !req
388. Anyway, I didn't go to Lexi's.
That was a lie.Copy !req
389. So, I was walking to McKay's party,Copy !req
390. because I have this rule that
I don't drink and bike, 'cause like...Copy !req
391. - Is that...?
- Oh, shit. Slow down.Copy !req
392. Dude, that's Rue. Oh, my God.Copy !req
393. - Wait. Didn't Rue, like, die?
- Oh, my God, I hate ghosts.Copy !req
394. Yo, Casper! You want a ride?Copy !req
395. Why, thank you.Copy !req
396. - Ah. How old are you?
- 22.Copy !req
397. Thanks.Copy !req
398. Do you live in town?Copy !req
399. No. I'm just, visiting my grandparents.Copy !req
400. Hmm.Copy !req
401. What about you?Copy !req
402. Do you walk around like this?Copy !req
403. What do you mean?Copy !req
404. Well, this is how you look generally?Copy !req
405. I mean... yeah.Copy !req
406. You're beautiful.Copy !req
407. Thank you.Copy !req
408. I'm envious of your generation,
you know.Copy !req
409. You guys don't care
as much about the rules.Copy !req
410. You know, I think that's a good thing.Copy !req
411. And I don't want to be that old
guy that gives you advice,Copy !req
412. but I look at you
and I think there are...Copy !req
413. two versions
of how your life can go.Copy !req
414. You can either go someplace,Copy !req
415. where you're wanted for who you are.Copy !req
416. Or you can stay in a town like this.
End up like me.Copy !req
417. Living your life out in motel rooms.Copy !req
418. Selfishly...Copy !req
419. I hope you stay.Copy !req
420. Wider.Copy !req
421. Wider. There you go.Copy !req
422. That's it. Good girl.Copy !req
423. Jules once told me that
every night when she was a kid,Copy !req
424. like, five or something...Copy !req
425. Spit.Copy !req
426. she'd lock herself
in the bathroom,Copy !req
427. get down on her
hands and knees, and...Copy !req
428. pray to God.Copy !req
429. She'd pray that when she woke up
in the morning, she'd be 25 years old.Copy !req
430. She'd live with her best friend, a girl.Copy !req
431. Someone she hadn't met yet, but...Copy !req
432. someone she knew
she'd trust forever.Copy !req
433. I don't know why,
but when she told me that story,Copy !req
434. I started to cry so hard
I hyperventilated.Copy !req
435. You're so clean.
And you don't know how rare that is.Copy !req
436. Jules just kept laughing
and saying, "What's wrong?" But...Copy !req
437. I didn't know.Copy !req
438. And then, the night got weird.Copy !req
439. - Hey.
- Hey.Copy !req
440. Now, there's a couple versions
of what happened that night.Copy !req
441. It all depends on who you ask,
and to be honest,Copy !req
442. I'm not always
the most reliable narrator.Copy !req
443. But Nate was fucking on one.Copy !req
444. And in turn,
Maddy was fucking on one.Copy !req
445. Hi.Copy !req
446. Get undressed.
I want to go swimming.Copy !req
447. - You're so hot.
- I know.Copy !req
448. You're fucking crazy.Copy !req
449. No, I'm not. I'm just trying to get back
at my really shitty ex-boyfriend.Copy !req
450. What?Copy !req
451. What if I told you that I wanted you
to fuck me, right here, right now?Copy !req
452. Are you serious?Copy !req
453. And that's right about the time that
Jules decided to ghost her hookupCopy !req
454. and bike over to McKay's.Copy !req
455. Now, Jules texted Kat,
but Kat didn't answer, because...Copy !req
456. So what's the deal
with your friend, BB?Copy !req
457. - What about her?
- Is she a prude, or is she a slut?Copy !req
458. Definitely a slut.Copy !req
459. - What about you?
- What about me?Copy !req
460. - Are you a slut?
- Yeah, I'm a fucking savage.Copy !req
461. - Oh, yeah? What's your number?
- Higher than you two can count.Copy !req
462. Stop playing. You're a fucking prude.Copy !req
463. Now, Kat wasn't a prude,
but she was a virgin.Copy !req
464. She'd told Jules that a week into summer
school, and when Kat saw her reaction:Copy !req
465. Bitch, this isn't the '80s.
You need to catch a dick.Copy !req
466. She was on a mission to enter junior
year as a woman of questionable morals.Copy !req
467. Let me ask you a question.Copy !req
468. If I were to pull my dick out
right now, would you suck it?Copy !req
469. - I don't know. Let me see it.
- It's not hard yet.Copy !req
470. You've probably never
sucked a dick in your life.Copy !req
471. - Yeah, I have.
- Most girls don't know how to suck dick.Copy !req
472. - Yeah.
- What do you mean?Copy !req
473. Well, they're too gentle.
It's like, they're fucking scared of it.Copy !req
474. - Not in porn.
- Exactly.Copy !req
475. - You watch porn?
- Doesn't everyone?Copy !req
476. No. Every guy does. Yeah.Copy !req
477. Not prudes. Only sluts.Copy !req
478. - Yeah, well...
- Yeah, but like, how much?Copy !req
479. - What?
- How much of a slut are you?Copy !req
480. Mm. Why don't you come find out?Copy !req
481. Why don't you take your top off?Copy !req
482. Like, right now, in front of...
in front of these two?Copy !req
483. Yeah.Copy !req
484. I dare you.Copy !req
485. Yo, you know what they say, right?
Fat girls give the best head.Copy !req
486. I was out back talking to Fezco
when Jules arrived.Copy !req
487. What the fuck, Rue?Copy !req
488. What? What, what, what, what?Copy !req
489. Come on now, bruh.
You owe me 120 bucks.Copy !req
490. - My bad, man, I forgot.
- Shit, you know I ain't trippin'.Copy !req
491. Well, to be honest with you,Copy !req
492. your whole drug shit
got me feeling kind of uneasy.Copy !req
493. Come on, don't go soft on me, Fez.Copy !req
494. No, I'm not. It's just that...Copy !req
495. I like you.
And I missed you, bruh. Like...Copy !req
496. That shit at the beginning of summer
had me scared as fuck.Copy !req
497. - Yeah, you and everybody else.
- I'm serious, Rue.Copy !req
498. I've seen a lot of people die.Copy !req
499. None like you.Copy !req
500. I don't know what type of fucked up shit
you got going inside your head.Copy !req
501. I don't know how to help,
but I could tell you one thing:Copy !req
502. this drug shit, it's not the answer.Copy !req
503. You know, I remember
when I was eleven years old...Copy !req
504. It was a couple months
after my dad got diagnosed,Copy !req
505. and we got the results back
from the prognosis.Copy !req
506. And it was really good.
It was like, 80/20.Copy !req
507. And we decided to celebrate, so...Copy !req
508. we like ordered a bunch of Chinese food.Copy !req
509. I remember that night,
I was laying between my parents in bed,Copy !req
510. and...Copy !req
511. all of a sudden I couldn't breathe.Copy !req
512. It was like
there was no more air left in the world.Copy !req
513. And I was gasping, and I was panicking.Copy !req
514. And they called the ambulance
and they thought it was like...Copy !req
515. an allergic reaction or some shit.Copy !req
516. And then when I got to the hospital,Copy !req
517. they gave me liquid Valium.Copy !req
518. Yeah. To calm me down.Copy !req
519. And when it hit me, I thought...Copy !req
520. This is it.Copy !req
521. This is the feeling I have been
searching for my entire life,Copy !req
522. for as long as I could remember.Copy !req
523. Because suddenly...Copy !req
524. the world went quiet.Copy !req
525. And I felt safe, in my own head.Copy !req
526. Two years later, he was gone.Copy !req
527. Panic attacks stayed.Copy !req
528. And I found a way to live, so...Copy !req
529. Will it eventually kill me? Maybe.Copy !req
530. Fuck, maybe not. I don't know.Copy !req
531. You still gonna be my dealer, Fez?Copy !req
532. You a fucking trip, bruh.Copy !req
533. I'm too high to be having
this conversation right now.Copy !req
534. Yeah, man. Me, too.Copy !req
535. Me fucking too.Copy !req
536. Yeah, that's real classy,
you fucking whore.Copy !req
537. Suck my dick.Copy !req
538. Ooh!Copy !req
539. Get the fuck out of here!
Get the fuck out of the kitchen! Fuck!Copy !req
540. Get out of here!
Get the fuck out of here!Copy !req
541. What the fuck are you looking at?Copy !req
542. Who are you?Copy !req
543. - I'm Jules. I'm a friend of...
- You're a friend of...Copy !req
544. A friend of whose?
'Cause you're not my fucking friend.Copy !req
545. Who the fuck are you friends with,
Jules? Hmm?Copy !req
546. Do you guys know
who the fuck this is?Copy !req
547. Does anybody know who this is?Copy !req
548. Does anybody know
who the fuck Jules is?Copy !req
549. Anyone at all. You,
do you know who the fuck Jules is?Copy !req
550. So, who are you?Copy !req
551. I'm just minding my own business.
I'm not trying to start anything.Copy !req
552. Well, no, you're not.
Nobody that looks like youCopy !req
553. is minding their own fuckin' business.Copy !req
554. I know what you are.Copy !req
555. Yeah. Yeah, I see you.Copy !req
556. So what do you want?Copy !req
557. You want some, some fucking attention?Copy !req
558. 'Cause I'll give you
some fucking attention.Copy !req
559. Yo, is anybody here friends
with Jules?Copy !req
560. Anyone? Does anybody know
who the fuck this bitch is?Copy !req
561. Somebody better speak up,
or this bitch is gonna get fucked upCopy !req
562. Shit!Copy !req
563. - You wanna fucking hurt me?
- No, I was fucking kidding!Copy !req
564. Back the fuck up!
What the fuck is your problem?Copy !req
565. Put the fucking knife down, okay.Copy !req
566. - It was a joke.
- You wanna fucking hurt me?Copy !req
567. - No, no, no...
- You have no fucking ideaCopy !req
568. - See?
- You're psycho!Copy !req
569. - I'm fucking invincible!
- You're a fucking freak.Copy !req
570. What the fuck?Copy !req
571. By the way, I'm Jules.Copy !req
572. I just moved here.Copy !req
573. I mean... right?Copy !req
574. Where the fuck have you been?
You missed the craziest shit ever.Copy !req
575. I just lost my virginity.Copy !req
576. Bitch, are you fucking serious?
With who?Copy !req
577. This guy from St. Mary's.Copy !req
578. - How did you like it?
- It was nice. Yeah.Copy !req
579. Oh, my God.
My little slut. I'm so proud of youCopy !req
580. Yo! Shit...Copy !req
581. - Are you okay?
- Yeah. It's fine.Copy !req
582. Guess I knew
that was gonna get violent,Copy !req
583. and I didn't want a fucking
broken cheekbone or some shit.Copy !req
584. Yeah, no,
I totally I get the logic behind it.Copy !req
585. But it's still, like, fucking insane.Copy !req
586. - I'm Rue.
- I'm Jules.Copy !req
587. Where are you headed to?Copy !req
588. Home. Probably.Copy !req
589. Can I come with you?Copy !req
590. Shh.Copy !req
591. Let me see.Copy !req
592. Oh.Copy !req
593. - Shh
- Sorry. Sorry.Copy !req
594. Remember when I said
things got weird?Copy !req
595. So... yeah.Copy !req
596. I've got an idea.Copy !req
597. What?Copy !req
598. Wanna get high?Copy !req