1. I was once happy, content,
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2. sloshing around in my own
private, primordial pool.
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3. Then one day, for reasons
beyond my control,
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4. I was repeatedly crushed...
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5. over and over by the cruel
cervix of my mother, Leslie.
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6. I put up a good fight, but I lost,
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7. for the first time, but not the last.
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8. I was born three days after 9/11.
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9. I can hear you... I can hear you,
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10. the rest of the world hears you,
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11. and the people who knocked
these buildings down
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12. will hear all of us soon.
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13. USA! USA!
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14. USA! USA!
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15. My mother and father spent
two days in the hospital,
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16. holding me under the soft
glow of the television,
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17. watching those towers
fall over and over again,
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18. until the feelings of grief
gave way to numbness.
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19. And then, without warning,
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20. a middle-class childhood
in an American suburb.
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21. Thirteen... fourteen...
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22. fifteen... sixteen...
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23. - What are you looking at, Rue?
- Seventeen...
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24. Rue, look at me.
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25. - One, two, three...
- What are you doing, Rue?
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26. I'd say she's suffering from
obsessive compulsive disorder...
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27. It's not like I was physically abused...
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28. attention deficit disorder...
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29. or had a shortage of clean water...
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30. general anxiety disorder...
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31. or was molested by a family member.
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32. and possibly bipolar disorder.
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33. But she's a little young to tell.
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34. So, explain this shit to me.
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35. Honey, it's just the way
your brain was hardwired.
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36. Plenty of great, intelligent,
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37. funny, interesting, and creative people
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38. have struggled with the same
things you struggle with.
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39. Like who?
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40. Uh...
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41. Vincent Van Gogh.
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42. Sylvia Plath.
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43. And your favorite: Britney Spears.
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44. - She's bald!
- Oh, my God!
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45. She is completely bald!
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46. I don't remember much
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47. between the ages of eight and 12.
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48. Just that the world moved
fast and my brain moved slow.
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49. Okay, does anybody have any idea
of what a preposition might be?
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50. And every now and then, if I focused
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51. too closely on the way I breathed...
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52. I'd die.
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53. Slow down, just breathe.
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54. Until every second of every day,
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55. you find yourself trying
to outrun your anxiety.
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56. What's wrong, Rue?
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57. And quite frankly...
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58. I'm just fucking exhausted.
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59. You said the doctor was in our network.
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60. How could he suddenly be out of network?
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61. I can't afford it.
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62. Did you see that video
of the beauty queen
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63. who got acid thrown on her face?
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64. - Mm, uh, what? No.
- It's pretty fucked up.
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65. - Hey, Mom, you got any tampons?
- In my bathroom, under the sink.
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66. And at some point, you make a choice
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67. about who you are and what you want.
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68. Oh, my...
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69. All right, Gia, let's roll.
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70. Why is the co-payment $300?
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71. Rue, did you eat breakfast?
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72. What's with the sunglasses?
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73. What sunglasses?
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74. I just showed up one day,
without a map or a compass...
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75. Attention, students,
we need to lockdown.
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76. or to be honest, anyone capable
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77. of giving on iota of
good fucking advice.
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78. And I know it all may
seem sad, but guess what?
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79. I didn't build this system,
nor did I fuck it up.
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80. And then it happens.
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81. That moment when your
breath starts to slow.
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82. And every time you breathe,
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83. you breathe out all the oxygen you have.
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84. And everything stops:
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85. your heart, your lungs,
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86. then finally, your brain.
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87. And everything you feel, and
wish, and want to forget,
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88. it all just sinks.
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89. And then suddenly...
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90. you give it air again,
give it life again.
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91. I remember the first
time it happened to me,
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92. I got so scared I wanted to call 911.
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93. Go to the hospital and be kept
alive by machines and apple juice.
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94. But I didn't want to look like an idiot,
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95. and I didn't want to fuck
up everyone's night.
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96. And then over time, it's all I wanted...
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97. Those two seconds of nothingness.
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98. I spent a good portion of the
summer before junior year
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99. in rehab.
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100. God grant me the serenity to
accept the things I cannot change,
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101. the courage to change the things I can,
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102. and the wisdom to know the difference.
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103. Rue!
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104. - Come here!
- Hey.
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105. - How are you?
- Good.
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106. - I missed you.
- I missed you, too.
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107. - Look at you. Are you growing?
- No.
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108. Hey!
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109. I'm very happy for you, Rue.
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110. You're about to start
a brand-new chapter.
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111. It was the end of summer, the
week before school started.
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112. I had no intention of staying clean.
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113. And Jules had just moved to town.
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114. There's some new girl in town that
I think you gonna be friends with.
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115. - Who?
- Shit, I don't know.
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116. She came in yesterday lookin'
all Sailor Moon and shit.
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117. I'm thinking to myself, like,
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118. look like somebody Rue
would get along with.
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119. Which was sort of like a
dead-on observation for Fezco,
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120. who's not normally revolving in the
same direction as planet Earth.
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121. So, how long you been back?
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122. - Five days.
- And like,
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123. - how you feelin'?
- I mean,
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124. ever since I gave my life over to
my lord and savior Jesus Christ,
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125. things have been, like, really good.
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126. - Word? That's what's up.
- Yeah.
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127. I'm fucking with you, Fez.
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128. - It was a joke.
- Shit.
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129. Hey, I don't judge.
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130. Uh, but low-key, is Ashtray in the back?
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131. Are you serious?
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132. What, you think 'cause I went
to rehab, I stayed clean?
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133. I mean, ain't that the point?
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134. Yeah, well, the world's
coming to an end,
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135. and I haven't even
graduated high school yet.
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136. I thought your ass was dead.
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137. I thought you had Asperger's till
I realized you're just a prick.
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138. This is a fickle industry.
Y'all come and go.
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139. I'm just trying to stack my
cash, pay off our mortgage.
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140. So what the fuck you want?
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141. You sure you don't want
to try nothin' new?
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142. - Like what?
- 2C-T-2, 2C-T-7,
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143. and 5-MeO-DIPT.
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144. I'm sorry, I have zero fucking
idea what you just said.
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145. It doesn't matter.
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146. But this shit is fucking lit.
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147. What is it?
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148. N-diisopropyl-5-methoxytryptamine.
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149. It's a fast-acting psychedelic.
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150. Got some similarities to LSD,
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151. but with, like, key differences.
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152. Not as visual and shit,
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153. but definitely a sense distorter.
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154. What's wrong?
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155. I'm just so happy.
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156. I don't know. The shit's
been blowing up in Tampa,
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157. and mad people like to fuck on it.
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158. Okay. Yeah.
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159. That'll be 120.
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160. - Uh, Fez said he'd spot me.
- Fezco don't spot nobody.
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161. Yeah, well, it's a post-rehab discount,
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162. - so you should ask him.
- I will go ask him,
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163. 'cause I know you're full of shit.
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164. In truth, I didn't have much of an issue
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165. with Nate until all the
bullshit with Jules.
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166. I mean, I never liked him, and
once, during freshman formal,
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167. he tried to finger me on the dance
floor without my permission.
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168. But like... it's America.
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169. And if they were throwing
an end-of-summer party...
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170. Yo, I'd do it for Rue!
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171. of course I'd fucking go.
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172. Yo. The whole world's
gonna be talking about
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173. how McKay threw the grimiest
fucking banger of the summer.
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174. I don't know, bro. You
know my mom is real OCD.
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175. She notices the smallest shit:
a little scratch on the wall,
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176. the dishes are out of order.
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177. Fine. We'll just take a
picture of everything,
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178. and we'll put it back
the way we found it.
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179. What the fuck is this,
Mission Impossible?
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180. Would you stop worrying about your mom,
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181. and start worrying about
all the fucking pussy
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182. that we're gonna smash tonight, bro.
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183. No, no, no, no, no. Wait.
Isn't Maddy coming tonight?
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184. I don't know.
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185. I don't give a fuck. She
broke up with me. Fuck her.
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186. See, no, bro. 'Cause she's crazy.
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187. I don't want her to come and
try to burn my house down.
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188. - Burn your...
- Yeah.
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189. Shut the fuck up.
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190. Yo. This is exactly
what I'm talking about.
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191. Right here. I'm gonna
tell you something...
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192. - Nate, don't do anything stupid. Come on.
- Yeah, yeah.
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193. Hey, yo, what up, B?
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194. Yo, how 'bout you come
and ride on this dick?
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195. No, Nate, chill, bro! Come on man.
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196. What the fuck, bro.
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197. Whoops.
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198. Jules moved from the city to the suburbs
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199. after her mom and dad got divorced.
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200. She doesn't really
like to talk about it,
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201. but dads almost never get full custody,
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202. so you know some shit
definitely went down.
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203. She went to, like, three weeks
of summer school with Kat,
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204. who failed Intro to Visual Arts.
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205. - Do you think my areolas look weird?
- No.
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206. But, like, the edges, though.
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207. Maddy, they're fine.
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208. Fine like they're kind
of weird, or fine like
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209. nobody but me would ever
notice what I notice?
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210. Fine like shut the fuck up, Maddy.
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211. I'm disgusting. I literally
look disgusting.
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212. Maddy, you just snap the fuck out
of this. You're hot as fuck.
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213. - Nate's a loser. Who cares?
- He's not a loser. He's a dick.
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214. All dicks are losers. Duh.
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215. Look, bottom line: y'all
need to walk into this party
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216. like your pussy costs a million dollars.
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217. For real, I'd settle
for like fifty grand.
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218. Fifty grand is a million dollars.
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219. I'd settle for, like, four Corona Lights
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220. and some non-rapey affection.
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221. - That's kind of depressing.
- Nate's just,
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222. like, totally ruined my confidence.
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223. You know when somebody just
constantly criticizes,
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224. like, everything about you?
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225. Yep. That's, like, every guy.
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226. You just need to catch a dick
and forget about your troubles.
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227. Girl, you just need to catch a dick.
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228. Seriously, Maddy, the best
thing to do after a breakup
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229. is to fuck someone new,
and then move on.
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230. Please, Kat, remind me again
how many guys you've fucked?
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231. And, um, oh, yeah, cat-fishing,
that don't count.
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232. Can you not be a cunt
for like, 15 seconds?
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233. - What are we doing for dinner?
- Dad, stop being a pervert!
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234. We're literally, like, all naked!
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235. Fuck.
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236. Okay.
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237. - Where were you?
- I went to eat.
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238. - What do you mean, you went to eat?
- What?
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239. What? Don't walk away from me.
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240. You know what, Rue? I don't trust you.
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241. I don't know what you want me to say.
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242. I want you to tell me where you were.
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243. - I just said I went to fucking eat!
- Don't you talk to me like that!
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244. You know what? I'm gonna drug test you.
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245. - Don't be slamming no doors around here.
- It was an accident.
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246. I don't care. You're not leaving this
house until you take a drug test.
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247. I just peed!
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248. Slam another door.
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249. That girl's gonna be the death of me.
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250. Shit.
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251. Now, there's a few ways
to beat a drug test.
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252. The first is simple. Stop doing drugs.
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253. But if you're in a bind
and totally fucked,
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254. option one: niacin.
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255. It's a B vitamin that, like,
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256. breaks down fat and
chemicals or whatever,
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257. and if you take a lot of
it, like 2,000 milligrams,
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258. then chug a few gallons of water,
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259. you can flush your system
in two to three days.
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260. The only problem is, it
has a few side effects.
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261. Skin flushing, extreme
dizziness, vomiting,
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262. rapid heartbeat, and sometimes death.
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263. I don't recommend it. Nor does any
legit drug site on the Internet.
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264. Option 2: synthetic urine.
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265. Yeah, fucking right.
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266. Option 3: get a non-drug
addict friend to piss for you.
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267. The only problem is...
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268. most over-the-counter
home drug testing kits
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269. come with a heat-sensor strip
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270. that detects the
temperature of your urine.
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271. And if your parents watch you pee,
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272. you can't really do the sink trick.
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273. So you gotta get it fresh.
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274. Hey, Rue.
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275. - Hey, I, um... I need a favor.
- What?
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276. - I... like for real, Lexi.
- What?
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277. - Side effects of this option?
- Are you serious?
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278. Please.
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279. Thanks.
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280. Hey, Rue.
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281. How was rehab?
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282. Shit.
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283. - It was good. It was really, really good.
- Well, that's good.
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284. - How long have you been back?
- Five days.
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285. Oh.
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286. - New chapter.
- Mom.
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287. Hmm?
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288. Lexi and I have known each
other since pre-school.
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289. And like, in some ways
she's my best friend,
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290. even though I think we've grown apart.
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291. We don't really have
much in common anymore.
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292. Did you m... meet any cute guys there?
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293. - Here's that eyeliner.
- Thanks.
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294. Huh.
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295. Mom, I have to pee!
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296. I wish we could do this in a way
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297. that wasn't a complete
invasion of my privacy.
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298. Well, you lost your right to
privacy after your overdose.
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299. - That was a mistake.
- Don't be flip, Rue.
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300. Could you...
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301. Thank you.
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302. You don't understand. This was
the most frightening moment
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303. a mother could witness. And Gia...
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304. - Gia, who absolutely idolizes you...
- I know, Mom.
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305. To have her find you unconscious...
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306. Can we just... Can we not
do this right now, Mom?
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307. Rue?
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308. Rue?
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309. Rue.
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310. I know a lot of you
probably hate me right now,
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311. and I get it.
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312. If I could be a different
person, I promise you, I would.
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313. Not because I want it,
but because they do.
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314. And therein lies the catch.
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315. I'm sorry... for slamming
the door earlier.
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316. It's okay. I forgive you. Come here.
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317. - Hey, Mom?
- Yeah?
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318. Can I spend the night at Lexi's tonight?
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319. - Yeah, that's fine.
- Thanks.
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320. Yeah.
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321. Where you going?
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322. Uh, I don't know. Some
party, or something.
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323. Or something?
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324. Dad.
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325. I know. You know, just,
new town. Be safe.
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326. - Yeah. I'm fine.
- Good.
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327. - Love you.
- I love you, too.
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328. - Okay.
- Have fun.
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329. Jules told me later what had happened.
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330. Looking back on it,
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331. she probably would have just been
better off going to McKay's.
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332. But...
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333. Come in.
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334. Yo, so, Cassie's a whore. Fact.
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335. No, she's not. Fact. She's
not even that type of girl.
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336. Oh. Have you seen her
slut pages, though?
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337. - No.
- They're wild, yo.
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338. - She's like a fuckin' freak!
- Cassie's on the slut pages?
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339. Yo, we gotta see this shit.
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340. Yo, what are y'all even
doing out the room, man?
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341. - Go back upstairs, bro.
- What?
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342. Thing one and thing
two. Take it up, man.
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343. - Take it up.
- Relax. No one gets here till ten.
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344. What's up, Nate?
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345. What's good, what's good, good lookin'.
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346. Look, all I'm saying is, I think
you did Cassie. That's it.
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347. McKay, whether I like her
or not is irrelevant.
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348. The fact is, she's a fucking
whore through and through, bro.
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349. All right, look, I don't know what
she's done, guys, but I'm just saying,
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350. I think she's cool. She's
smart. She's funny.
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351. Bro, she likes cars, man.
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352. She loves cars. Shit,
thank you for telling me.
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353. - What the fuck?
- Dude's got mad feelings.
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354. For real, yo. McKay's about
to start a Pinterest, guys.
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355. Just wait. Give it a minute.
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356. Yo, did you say you don't
know what she's done?
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357. No, I don't know.
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358. Take a seat.
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359. You and I are gonna take a little
trip to the land of shame, bro.
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360. Here's the fucking thing that
pisses me off about the world.
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361. Like, every time someone's
shit gets leaked,
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362. whether it's J. Law or Leslie Jones,
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363. the whole world's like, "Well
if you don't want it out there,
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364. don't take the nudes
in the first place."
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365. I'm sorry. I know your generation
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366. relied on flowers and
fathers' permission,
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367. but it's 2019, and unless you're Amish,
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368. nudes are the currency of
love, so stop shaming us.
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369. Shame the assholes who
create password-protected
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370. online directories of
naked, underage girls.
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371. Cassie's actually super sweet.
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372. You remember, like, from earlier.
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373. - Yo, Rue, Rue.
- Hey. How you been?
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374. She's just being coy.
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375. 'Cause she has a new boyfriend
she's head over heels for.
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376. Mom, stop being retarded.
He's not my boyfriend.
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377. Oh. Okay!
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378. Who's that handsome young man who
came over for dinner last night?
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379. - Oh, my God, Mom! Stop!
- Christopher McKay.
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380. So, you're dating McKay.
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381. Okay, Mom, I'm literally going
to poison you in your sleep.
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382. So, Rue, how was rehab?
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383. Um...
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384. Did you m... meet any cute guys there?
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385. - Here's that eyeliner.
- Thanks.
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386. But anyway, back to this bullshit.
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387. And the Oscar goes to...
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388. - Oh!
- Shit!
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389. I'm talkin' 'bout, like, tag team.
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390. - That's what I'm saying. Double team.
- Like, triple.
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391. With Roy in the front.
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392. You can even tell that that's her, man.
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393. It's her, bro.
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394. This is definitely her.
Look at her titties.
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395. You want my advice? You fuck
her like the whore she is,
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396. you kick her ass to the curb.
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397. If you don't, we will.
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398. Shut your all little
virgin asses up, man.
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399. Y'all wouldn't even know
what to do with that.
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400. Are you crazy? I just got
a tutorial, step-by-step.
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401. It's obvious that Nate
got in McKay's head,
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402. because Cassie told
Lexi, and Lexi told me,
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403. that the night of the party...
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404. What?
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405. Nothing.
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406. Why do you keep staring at me?
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407. I'm sorry. Kind of
spaced out for a second.
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408. I wasn't being weird, was I?
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409. No. You're being cute.
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410. Listen, I don't want to sound
corny or whatever, but...
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411. you are literally the most
beautiful girl I've ever seen.
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412. They hooked up.
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413. Fuck.
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414. You always this wet?
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415. Kind of. It's super embarrassing.
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416. - Does it turn you off?
- Not at all.
Copy !req
417. It's cool.
Copy !req
418. Stay right here.
Copy !req
419. Aah!
Copy !req
420. McKay. McKay, stop! Stop...
Copy !req
421. Now, I know this looks
disturbing, but for real,
Copy !req
422. I promise you, this
does not end in a rape.
Copy !req
423. But here's the thing.
Copy !req
424. Everyone on the planet
watches porn. Fact.
Copy !req
425. And if you were to click on the 20 most
popular videos on Porn Hub right now,
Copy !req
426. this is basically what you'd see:
Copy !req
427. Good girl, yes, yes.
Copy !req
428. Are you gonna be an
obedient little slut?
Copy !req
429. - Say thank you, again.
- Oh, thank you.
Copy !req
430. I'm not trying to be sex
negative or anything.
Copy !req
431. - I'm just saying...
- Stop!
Copy !req
432. this shit isn't out
of left fucking field.
Copy !req
433. - Fuck, McKay!
- What did I do?
Copy !req
434. Why would you grab me like
that? I couldn't breathe.
Copy !req
435. I don't know. I thought you liked that.
Copy !req
436. Why the fuck would I like that?
Copy !req
437. Cassie, I'm sorry. I didn't know.
Copy !req
438. I just didn't expect it.
Copy !req
439. Cassie, I'm really sorry,
okay? I'm sorry.
Copy !req
440. You know I would never
do anything to hurt you.
Copy !req
441. Just don't do it again.
Copy !req
442. Unless you ask me first.
Copy !req
443. Or I ask you.
Copy !req
444. Anyway, I didn't go to
Lexi's. That was a lie.
Copy !req
445. So, I was walking to McKay's party,
Copy !req
446. because I have this rule that I don't
drink and bike, 'cause like...
Copy !req
447. - Is that...?
- Oh, shit. Slow down.
Copy !req
448. Dude, that's Rue. Oh, my God.
Copy !req
449. - Wait. Didn't Rue, like, die?
- Oh, my God, I hate ghosts.
Copy !req
450. Yo, Casper! You want a ride?
Copy !req
451. Why, thank you.
Copy !req
452. - Ah. How old are you?
- Uh, 22.
Copy !req
453. Thanks.
Copy !req
454. Do you live in town?
Copy !req
455. Uh, no. I'm just, uh,
visiting my grandparents.
Copy !req
456. Hmm.
Copy !req
457. What about you?
Copy !req
458. Do you walk around like this?
Copy !req
459. What do you mean?
Copy !req
460. Well, this is how you look generally?
Copy !req
461. I mean... yeah.
Copy !req
462. You're beautiful.
Copy !req
463. Thank you.
Copy !req
464. I'm envious of your
generation, you know.
Copy !req
465. You guys don't care as
much about the rules.
Copy !req
466. You know, I think that's a good thing.
Copy !req
467. And I don't want to be that old
guy that gives you advice,
Copy !req
468. but I look at you and
I think there are...
Copy !req
469. two versions of how your life can go.
Copy !req
470. You can either go
someplace, where you're
Copy !req
471. wanted for who you are.
Copy !req
472. Or you can stay in a town
like this. End up like me.
Copy !req
473. Living your life out in motel rooms.
Copy !req
474. Selfishly...
Copy !req
475. I hope you stay.
Copy !req
476. Wider.
Copy !req
477. Wider. There you go.
Copy !req
478. That's it. Good girl.
Copy !req
479. Jules once told me that every
night when she was a kid,
Copy !req
480. like, five or something...
Copy !req
481. Spit.
Copy !req
482. she'd lock herself in the bathroom,
Copy !req
483. get down on her hands and knees, and...
Copy !req
484. pray to God.
Copy !req
485. She'd pray that when she
woke up in the morning,
Copy !req
486. she'd be 25 years old.
Copy !req
487. She'd live with her best friend, a girl.
Copy !req
488. Someone she hadn't met yet, but...
Copy !req
489. someone she knew she'd trust forever.
Copy !req
490. I don't know why, but when
she told me that story,
Copy !req
491. I started to cry so
hard I hyperventilated.
Copy !req
492. You're so clean.
Copy !req
493. And you don't know how rare that is.
Copy !req
494. Jules just kept laughing and
saying, "What's wrong?" But...
Copy !req
495. I didn't know.
Copy !req
496. And then, the night got weird.
Copy !req
497. - Hey.
- Hey.
Copy !req
498. Now, there's a couple versions
of what happened that night.
Copy !req
499. It all depends on who you
ask, and to be honest,
Copy !req
500. I'm not always the most
reliable narrator.
Copy !req
501. But Nate was fucking on one.
Copy !req
502. And in turn, Maddy was fucking on one.
Copy !req
503. Hi.
Copy !req
504. Get undressed. I want to go swimming.
Copy !req
505. - You're so hot.
- I know.
Copy !req
506. You're fucking crazy.
Copy !req
507. No, I'm not. I'm just trying to get
back at my really shitty ex-boyfriend.
Copy !req
508. What?
Copy !req
509. What if I told you that I wanted you
to fuck me, right here, right now?
Copy !req
510. Are you serious?
Copy !req
511. And that's right about
the time that Jules
Copy !req
512. decided to ghost her hookup
and bike over to McKay's.
Copy !req
513. Now, Jules texted Kat, but Kat
didn't answer, because...
Copy !req
514. So what's the deal with your friend, BB?
Copy !req
515. What about her?
Copy !req
516. Well, is she like a prude,
or is she like a slut?
Copy !req
517. Definitely a slut.
Copy !req
518. - What about you?
- What about me?
Copy !req
519. Are you a slut?
Copy !req
520. Yeah, I'm a fucking savage.
Copy !req
521. Oh, yeah? What's your number?
Copy !req
522. Huh. Higher than you two can count.
Copy !req
523. Stop playing. You're a fucking prude.
Copy !req
524. Now, Kat wasn't a prude,
but she was a virgin.
Copy !req
525. She'd told Jules that a
week into summer school,
Copy !req
526. and when Kat saw her reaction:
Copy !req
527. Bitch, this isn't the '80s.
You need to catch a dick.
Copy !req
528. She was on a mission
to enter junior year
Copy !req
529. as a woman of questionable morals.
Copy !req
530. Let me ask you a question.
Copy !req
531. If I were to pull my dick out
right now, would you suck it?
Copy !req
532. I don't know. Let me see it.
Copy !req
533. It's not hard yet.
Copy !req
534. You've probably never
sucked a dick in your life.
Copy !req
535. Yeah, I have.
Copy !req
536. No, most girls don't
know how to suck dick.
Copy !req
537. - Yeah.
- What do you mean?
Copy !req
538. Well, they're too gentle. It's like,
Copy !req
539. they're fucking scared
of it or something.
Copy !req
540. - Not in porn.
- Exactly.
Copy !req
541. - You watch porn?
- Doesn't everyone?
Copy !req
542. No. Every guy does. Yeah.
Copy !req
543. Not prudes. Only sluts.
Copy !req
544. Yeah, well...
Copy !req
545. Yeah, but like, how much?
Copy !req
546. - What?
- How much of a slut are you?
Copy !req
547. Mm. Why don't you come find out?
Copy !req
548. Why don't you take your top off?
Copy !req
549. Like, right now, in front
of... In front of these two?
Copy !req
550. Yeah.
Copy !req
551. I dare you.
Copy !req
552. Yo, you know what they say, right?
Copy !req
553. Fat girls give the best head.
Copy !req
554. I was out back talking to
Fezco when Jules arrived.
Copy !req
555. What the fuck, Rue?
Copy !req
556. What? What, what, what, what?
Copy !req
557. Come on now, bruh. You owe me 120 bucks.
Copy !req
558. My bad, man, I forgot.
Copy !req
559. Shit, you know I ain't trippin'.
Copy !req
560. Well, to be honest with you,
Copy !req
561. your whole drug shit got
me feeling kind of uneasy.
Copy !req
562. Come on, don't go soft on me, Fez.
Copy !req
563. No, I'm not. It's just that...
Copy !req
564. I like you. And I missed
you, bruh. Like...
Copy !req
565. That shit at the beginning of summer
Copy !req
566. had me scared as fuck.
Copy !req
567. - Yeah, you and everybody else.
- I'm serious, Rue.
Copy !req
568. I've seen a lot of people die.
Copy !req
569. None like you.
Copy !req
570. I don't know what type of fucked up shit
Copy !req
571. you got going inside your head.
Copy !req
572. I don't know how to help, but
I could tell you one thing:
Copy !req
573. this drug shit, it's not the answer.
Copy !req
574. You know, I remember when
I was eleven years old...
Copy !req
575. It was a couple months after
my dad got diagnosed,
Copy !req
576. and we got the results
back from the prognosis.
Copy !req
577. And it was really good.
It was like, 80/20.
Copy !req
578. And we decided to celebrate, so...
Copy !req
579. we like ordered a bunch of Chinese food.
Copy !req
580. I remember that night, I was
laying between my parents in bed,
Copy !req
581. and, uh...
Copy !req
582. all of a sudden I couldn't breathe.
Copy !req
583. It was like there was no
more air left in the world.
Copy !req
584. And I was gasping, and I was panicking.
Copy !req
585. And they called the ambulance
and they thought it was like...
Copy !req
586. an allergic reaction or some shit.
Copy !req
587. And then when I got to the hospital,
Copy !req
588. they gave me liquid Valium.
Copy !req
589. Yeah. To calm me down.
Copy !req
590. And when it hit me, I thought...
Copy !req
591. This is it.
Copy !req
592. This is the feeling I have been
searching for my entire life,
Copy !req
593. for as long as I could remember.
Copy !req
594. Because suddenly,
Copy !req
595. the world went quiet.
Copy !req
596. And I felt safe, in my own head.
Copy !req
597. Two years later, he was gone.
Copy !req
598. Panic attacks stayed.
Copy !req
599. And I found a way to live, so...
Copy !req
600. Will it eventually kill me? Maybe.
Copy !req
601. Fuck, maybe not. I don't know.
Copy !req
602. You still gonna be my dealer, Fez?
Copy !req
603. You a fucking trip, bruh.
Copy !req
604. I'm too high to be having
this conversation right now.
Copy !req
605. Yeah, man. Me, too.
Copy !req
606. Me fucking too.
Copy !req
607. Yeah, that's real classy,
you fucking whore.
Copy !req
608. Suck my dick.
Copy !req
609. Ooh!
Copy !req
610. Get the fuck out of here! Get the
fuck out of the kitchen! Fuck!
Copy !req
611. Get out of here. Get
the fuck out of here.
Copy !req
612. What the fuck are you looking at?
Copy !req
613. Who are you?
Copy !req
614. - I'm Jules. I'm a friend of...
- You're a friend of, uh...
Copy !req
615. A friend of whose? 'Cause
you're not my fucking friend.
Copy !req
616. Who the fuck are you
friends with, Jules?
Copy !req
617. Hmm?
Copy !req
618. Do you guys know who the fuck this is?
Copy !req
619. Does anybody know who this is?
Copy !req
620. Does anybody know who the fuck Jules is?
Copy !req
621. Anyone at all. You, do you
know who the fuck Jules is?
Copy !req
622. So, who are you?
Copy !req
623. I'm just minding my own business.
I'm not trying to start anything.
Copy !req
624. Well, no, you're not.
Nobody that looks like you
Copy !req
625. is minding their own fuckin' business.
Copy !req
626. I know what you are.
Copy !req
627. Yeah. Yeah, I see you.
Copy !req
628. So what do you want, huh?
Copy !req
629. You want some, some fucking attention?
Copy !req
630. 'Cause I'll give you
some fucking attention.
Copy !req
631. Yo, is anybody here friends with Jules?
Copy !req
632. Anyone? Does anybody know
who the fuck this bitch is?
Copy !req
633. Somebody better speak up, or this
bitch is gonna get fucked up!
Copy !req
634. Shit!
Copy !req
635. - You wanna fucking hurt me?
- No, I was fucking kidding!
Copy !req
636. Back the fuck up! What the
fuck is your problem?
Copy !req
637. Put the fucking knife down, okay.
Copy !req
638. - It was a joke.
- You wanna fucking hurt me?
Copy !req
639. - No, no, no...
- You have no fucking idea!
Copy !req
640. - See?
- You're psycho!
Copy !req
641. - I'm fucking invincible!
- You're a fucking freak.
Copy !req
642. What the fuck?
Copy !req
643. By the way, I'm Jules.
Copy !req
644. I just moved here.
Copy !req
645. I mean... right?
Copy !req
646. Where the fuck have you been? You
missed the craziest shit ever!
Copy !req
647. I just lost my virginity.
Copy !req
648. Bitch, are you fucking
serious? With who?
Copy !req
649. This guy from St. Mary's.
Copy !req
650. - How did you like it?
- It was nice. Yeah.
Copy !req
651. Oh, my God. My little slut.
I'm so proud of you!
Copy !req
652. Yo! Shit, uh...
Copy !req
653. - Are you okay?
- Uh, uh, yeah. It's fine.
Copy !req
654. Guess I knew that was gonna get violent,
Copy !req
655. and I didn't want a fucking
broken cheekbone or some shit.
Copy !req
656. Yeah, no, no, I totally, like,
I get the logic behind it.
Copy !req
657. But it's still, like, fucking insane.
Copy !req
658. - I'm Rue.
- I'm Jules.
Copy !req
659. Where are you headed to?
Copy !req
660. Home. Probably.
Copy !req
661. Can I come with you?
Copy !req
662. Shh.
Copy !req
663. Let me see.
Copy !req
664. Oh.
Copy !req
665. Shh!
Copy !req
666. Sorry. Sorry.
Copy !req
667. Remember when I said things got weird?
Copy !req
668. So... yeah.
Copy !req
669. I've got an idea.
Copy !req
670. What?
Copy !req
671. Wanna get high?
Copy !req