1. ERCopy !req
2. Previously on ER:Copy !req
3. We'd be better off as friends.Copy !req
4. Mark, thanks again for dinner last night.Copy !req
5. God forbid you should listen to me
and learn something!Copy !req
6. Yes, I was engaged once.Copy !req
7. To a really lovely man.Copy !req
8. And he was killed in a freak
horseback riding accident.Copy !req
9. You bring a child into this world,
and you think they're helpless, but...Copy !req
10. actually, I think it's us.
We're the ones that are helpless.Copy !req
11. "The Miracle Worker"Copy !req
12. - What time's that big do at your mom's?
- Right after church.Copy !req
13. I promised her we'd be there for
Christmas caroling with Uncle Ted.Copy !req
14. That the old guy with the banjo?Copy !req
15. It's a family tradition, kind of like
going to Mass on Christmas Eve.Copy !req
16. If I go, I'll feel like a hypocrite.Copy !req
17. - Kneeling and standing and-
- You could just sit.Copy !req
18. Everybody gives me dirty looks.
Like I'm a pagan.Copy !req
19. You are a pagan.Copy !req
20. Oh, what a glorious day!
Did you see the sky?Copy !req
21. - It's like a painting.
- Makes you glad to be alive.Copy !req
22. - Unless you're being persecuted.
- What?Copy !req
23. He doesn't like Dr. Lee's
new charting system.Copy !req
24. - What new charting system?Copy !req
25. Patients get two charts:
for docs and for nurses.Copy !req
26. We get to do our notes
at the same time.Copy !req
27. Orders get in quicker,
patients get meds faster.Copy !req
28. Docs don't waste time chasing charts.
So, what's the problem?Copy !req
29. "Someone" has to keep track
of twice as many charts as normal...Copy !req
30. doubling his workload.
Not that anyone cares.Copy !req
31. Good morning, gang.Copy !req
32. Oh, my God, Amanda!
What have you done?Copy !req
33. Christmas nibblies: Dried fruit,
mixed nuts, little chocolate reindeer.Copy !req
34. Don't mind if I do.Copy !req
35. Wait. First dibs should go to Jerry.Copy !req
36. It's only fair since he's bearing
the brunt of the new charting system.Copy !req
37. No, thank you. I'm not hungry.Copy !req
38. As you wish. Seriously, if you find
yourself in the weeds, call me.Copy !req
39. - I'll make sure you get support.
- Sure.Copy !req
40. Excuse me.Copy !req
41. That's a Christmas card image,
the sight of you wrapping a book.Copy !req
42. Something educational
for one of your nieces?Copy !req
43. No. Actually, it's for you.Copy !req
44. It's T.S. Eliot.Copy !req
45. I know you said you liked him,
so I got it last month...Copy !req
46. when we were still, you know...Copy !req
47. Peter, that's so sweet.Copy !req
48. I can't think of
a more thoughtful gift.Copy !req
49. Thank you.Copy !req
50. Oh, please, forget it.
Listen, I was wondering...Copy !req
51. if we could finish
our workups around noon.Copy !req
52. I need to get out of here
early tonight.Copy !req
53. Oh, you've got big
Christmas Eve plans.Copy !req
54. Yeah. My sister's hosting a dinner.
Carla's gonna bring Reece by.Copy !req
55. - I haven't seen him all week.
- I understand.Copy !req
56. I absolutely hate being away
from my family during the holidays.Copy !req
57. In fact, I'm so desperate not to be
alone this Christmas Eve...Copy !req
58. that I bought a ticket
to the Surgeons' Society Gala.Copy !req
59. Oh, golly.Copy !req
60. Yep. And you won't believe
who's sitting next to me.Copy !req
61. Hey, there she is!Copy !req
62. So I checked around.
We definitely have the coolest table.Copy !req
63. It's lucky we're both able to make it.Copy !req
64. A little trouble in paradise?Copy !req
65. Anyway, so tonight's dinner
is semiformal...Copy !req
66. so any slinky black number will do.
If I may voice my preference...Copy !req
67. something short
and off-the-shoulder would be ideal.Copy !req
68. Peter, by the way, that reminds me.Copy !req
69. I have a lot of charts
and I want to get out of here early.Copy !req
70. - I need you to cover my rounds.
- That'll mess up my morning.Copy !req
71. Look at it this way. I get a life...Copy !req
72. and you earn a special place
in my heart.Copy !req
73. Do you know a garage that's open?
My crappy car died on the Dan Ryan.Copy !req
74. On Christmas Eve? Good luck.Copy !req
75. - Lydia, is that...?
- Card from Jen.Copy !req
76. - My ex-wife sent you a Christmas card?
- No. She sent one to me.Copy !req
77. We've exchanged cards for years.
Christmas, birthdays...Copy !req
78. - I was reading the newsletter.
- "Merry Christmas from the Simons. "Copy !req
79. - What?
- Their new house sounds amazing.Copy !req
80. - I know. 5000 square feet?
- Six bedrooms, three baths?Copy !req
81. That sounds just like Jen
to be bragging about her house.Copy !req
82. - I wouldn't call it bragging.
- She's sharing good news.Copy !req
83. - Yeah, Jen made partner.
- Jen made partner?Copy !req
84. - The firm even got her a new Beemer.
- I love those convertibles.Copy !req
85. Oh, you know what?
Mack's Garage on Wacker is open.Copy !req
86. - They'll tow your piece-of-crap car.
- Thanks, Jerry.Copy !req
87. "Dear Dr. Carter, I'm sure
you don't remember me.Copy !req
88. I wouldn't be around this Christmas
if not for you.Copy !req
89. You're a lifesaver.
The Lord's instrument on earth. "Copy !req
90. - Pacer pads?
- Third drawer on the left.Copy !req
91. "May God bless you and keep you.
Merry Christmas. Emily Ropella. "Copy !req
92. - Do you remember her?
- Not a clue.Copy !req
93. It's a nice card, though.Copy !req
94. Does it bother you
that God gets the credit?Copy !req
95. One can be called worse things
than "an instrument of God. "Copy !req
96. So you believe in...?Copy !req
97. I give Him the benefit of the doubt.Copy !req
98. - You?
- I don't know.Copy !req
99. Sometimes I think that God
is just this comforting illusion.Copy !req
100. We want everything to have meaning,
so we create this puppet master...Copy !req
101. when everything is just arbitrary:
life, death, natural disasters-Copy !req
102. The Master is displeased.Copy !req
103. I'm so sorry. I can't believe
he foisted this on you.Copy !req
104. No use worrying about it now.Copy !req
105. I'll start the preops.
That'll save time.Copy !req
106. Whatever.Copy !req
107. Hello, Mr. Gardner.Copy !req
108. I have the results of your MRl.Copy !req
109. Good. So, how's it look?Copy !req
110. Good news. It appears the cancer
hasn't spread beyond the capsule.Copy !req
111. Great. So does this mean
I can hold on to my prostate?Copy !req
112. I'm afraid not.
Dr. Romano does want to continue...Copy !req
113. with the radical prostatectomy
tomorrow morning as scheduled.Copy !req
114. But with the surgery, you stand an
excellent chance of beating the cancer.Copy !req
115. It really is very good news.Copy !req
116. - Is Dr. Romano around?
- He's in surgery.Copy !req
117. Is it something I can help you with?Copy !req
118. He had mentioned the operation could
result in my losing sexual function.Copy !req
119. I take it that's still the case?Copy !req
120. We'll do our best to do
a nerve-sparing procedure.Copy !req
121. - But there is that possibility, yes.
- How strong a possibility?Copy !req
122. Well, according to Dr. Romano's notes,
as high as 75 to 80 percent.Copy !req
123. Eighty percent.Copy !req
124. Has Dr. Romano discussed
your options...Copy !req
125. about having children
in the future?Copy !req
126. - No.
- Well, you might want to consider...Copy !req
127. paying a visit to a sperm bank.Copy !req
128. That way, if there's a loss of function
you can still have children...Copy !req
129. - ... through alternative means.
- Right.Copy !req
130. Dr. Lee?Copy !req
131. You startled me.Copy !req
132. Sorry. Dr. Anspaugh would
like you to call him.Copy !req
133. What's wrong with Dr. Greene's
locker?Copy !req
134. I found it ajar. I shut it
before something walked away.Copy !req
135. - Thanks for the message.
- Sure.Copy !req
136. I've got supraventricular tachycardia.
It happens all the time.Copy !req
137. Rate's 160. BP's 100 palp.Copy !req
138. Just cardiovert me at 50
and I'm on my way.Copy !req
139. Let's put him on a monitor
and get a strip.Copy !req
140. I'm trying to tell you,
I've got SVTs.Copy !req
141. Just cardiovert me at 50.
It works every time.Copy !req
142. I appreciate the tip.
But I need to examine you myself.Copy !req
143. - I'm trying to save some time here.
- Stop talking.Copy !req
144. Would you tell him that I have SVTs?Copy !req
145. I've got SVTs!Copy !req
146. - Let go.
- I've got SVTs!Copy !req
147. I heard you!
I need to examine you myself.Copy !req
148. - I'm gonna be late for work!
- Let go!Copy !req
149. Are you one of Santa's helpers?Copy !req
150. The helpers just pass out the goody
bags. I'm an elf. A singing elf.Copy !req
151. - Oh, part of a choir?
- There's four of us.Copy !req
152. But thanks to "Super Doc," the
Elf Tones are gonna be a tenor short.Copy !req
153. - Here you go.
- It says I have SVTs, right?Copy !req
154. I knew it! You want to shock me
at 50 now, smart-ass?Copy !req
155. I got an 18-year-old, flatline!Copy !req
156. - How long down?
- Unknown. Mother found him.Copy !req
157. Gave him two rounds of epi,
two of atropine.Copy !req
158. - Got any signs of life?
- Got him back once.Copy !req
159. Get him on a monitor.
Carter, check ventilation.Copy !req
160. - What can I do?
- Rectal temp.Copy !req
161. - Great.
- All right. On my count.Copy !req
162. Watch your hand there.Copy !req
163. One, two, three, go.Copy !req
164. Any signs of drugs, suicide?Copy !req
165. Said he had a killer headache.
Took a nap and never woke up.Copy !req
166. - A subarachnoid hemorrhage.
- Killer headache is right.Copy !req
167. - Monitor's up.
- No femoral pulse.Copy !req
168. - Asystole.
- No spontaneous respirations.Copy !req
169. - No response to pain.
- Anybody got any good news?Copy !req
170. Pupils are...Copy !req
171. - ... fixed and dilated. No corneal reflex.
- He's only 18.Copy !req
172. Zadro got him back once, maybe we
can do it again. High dose of epi.Copy !req
173. Put him on a pulse ox.
An end-tidal CO-2 detector.Copy !req
174. - Paddles, please.
- Crank it to 50. Let's go!Copy !req
175. - Let's start at 20.
- Twenty? Why?Copy !req
176. - Because I said so, that's why.
- Oh, that's mature.Copy !req
177. - Charged to 20.
- Clear.Copy !req
178. - How did we do?
- No change.Copy !req
179. Fifty? Do I hear 50?Copy !req
180. - Let's go to 30.
- Oh, for crying out loud!Copy !req
181. Why not just go to 50?Copy !req
182. Because he has a sensitive rhythm.
I don't want to overshock him.Copy !req
183. - Charge to 30.
- Clear.Copy !req
184. Anything?Copy !req
185. - Nothing.
- I don't want to question your genius.Copy !req
186. But can we go to 50 while I still
got some hair on my chest?Copy !req
187. - Let's go to 50.
- It's about time!Copy !req
188. - Charged.
- Clear.Copy !req
189. That did it.
Back to normal sinus.Copy !req
190. Watch him for 15
and then let him go.Copy !req
191. Thanks for nothing, Dr. Mengele!Copy !req
192. - Time?
- Twelve minutes.Copy !req
193. - Check his rhythm.
- Still no pulse.Copy !req
194. - Asystole.
- Keep at it.Copy !req
195. - Ten of epi on board.
- The boy's mother is in Chairs.Copy !req
196. - She wants to talk to someone.
- Carter, you want to do that?Copy !req
197. Don't get her hopes up.Copy !req
198. All right.
Give me another epi, 7 milligrams.Copy !req
199. - Mrs. Richards?
- My son?Copy !req
200. Hi. I'm Dr. Carter.Copy !req
201. Your son's heart stopped beating.Copy !req
202. We're doing everything
to start it again.Copy !req
203. We're giving him medicine
and doing CPR.Copy !req
204. Why would his heart stop?
He's 18 years old.Copy !req
205. There's a sign that he had
a brain hemorrhage...Copy !req
206. which could've
caused the cardiac arrest.Copy !req
207. How? He's the picture of health.Copy !req
208. It could be a weak artery, possibly
something that's existed since birth.Copy !req
209. The thing is,
he's been down a long time.Copy !req
210. The longer he goes without oxygen,
the less likely we can bring him back.Copy !req
211. - We might need to have a conversation-
- Please don't give up on him.Copy !req
212. He's all that I have.Copy !req
213. Please.Copy !req
214. Okay.Copy !req
215. I'll be back.Copy !req
216. Hold it. Hold the compressions.
Any sign of a rhythm?Copy !req
217. - Flatline.
- Let's call it.Copy !req
218. Not yet. Keep bagging.Copy !req
219. You got a reason to keep
flogging him?Copy !req
220. He's 18, his mother's only child.
And it's Christmas.Copy !req
221. Want a miracle?
He's been down for 40.Copy !req
222. - So, what's five more?
- Okay, doctor. Let's go.Copy !req
223. Resuming compressions. Keep bagging.
And another round of high-dose epi.Copy !req
224. Start a dopamine drip.
Get those paddles ready.Copy !req
225. - He's in asystole.
- He may be in fine V-fib.Copy !req
226. Charge to 300. No, 350.Copy !req
227. - Charging.
- Let's hold a really positive thought.Copy !req
228. - Ready.
- Clear!Copy !req
229. - Was that a beat?
- My God!Copy !req
230. - Two beats does not a rhythm make.
- Slap some pads on him.Copy !req
231. All right. Here you go.Copy !req
232. Can you roll him?Copy !req
233. - Set it at 80.
- You're on.Copy !req
234. - It's not capturing.
- Dial up the gain.Copy !req
235. Come on.
Just gotta get it to capture.Copy !req
236. - He's throwing PVCs.
- Hold that lidocaine.Copy !req
237. Maximum gain.Copy !req
238. Come on. Come on.Copy !req
239. - We got it!
- He's got a rhythm!Copy !req
240. - Take a carotid.
- Pulse?Copy !req
241. - Strong at 120.
- BP is 100.Copy !req
242. Send him to CT,
find out where he's bleeding.Copy !req
243. - How'd you-?
- I'm an instrument!Copy !req
244. - Way to go!
- Hope he's got some brain left.Copy !req
245. - You want contrast?
- No, but call Respiratory.Copy !req
246. Make sure they got a vent
and scanner.Copy !req
247. Looks like we got our miracle.Copy !req
248. If he wakes up. Even if he does,
he'll probably have brain damage.Copy !req
249. Carter.Copy !req
250. Better prepare the mother.Copy !req
251. Yes, Ma.Copy !req
252. Of course we're coming.Copy !req
253. Uncle Ted wants Doug to play
"Silent Night" on the tambourine?Copy !req
254. I think he'd love it.Copy !req
255. Yeah. Hey, do you have
any videotape left in the videocam?Copy !req
256. Yep. Yes, I am coming to Mass.Copy !req
257. No, he is not. But, you know what?
We should probably respect his choice.Copy !req
258. It would be nice
if we all went together.Copy !req
259. If I'm needed,
I'll be out at the roach coach.Copy !req
260. I'll be here suffocating
under a mountain of charts.Copy !req
261. That's odd. I swear I had
my gloves in my pocket.Copy !req
262. - Dr. Lee took them.
- What did you say?Copy !req
263. I saw her at your locker earlier.Copy !req
264. - That is ridiculous, Jerry.
- What's ridiculous?Copy !req
265. He's accusing Amanda
of stealing my gloves.Copy !req
266. I tell you she had your locker open,
and she was very suspicious.Copy !req
267. I know you're angry at Amanda
for the new chart system...Copy !req
268. but to accuse her of
being a thief...Copy !req
269. You didn't see how weird
she was acting.Copy !req
270. Can it, Jerry.Copy !req
271. I finished the work on Landis.
How are you?Copy !req
272. - Two more preops, then postops.
- You may make your dinner after all.Copy !req
273. What'll it be? Goose in
chestnut sauce or roast venison?Copy !req
274. We gotta call in our entrées.Copy !req
275. Dr. Romano, Mr. DeMisa is coming back
in with postoperative pain.Copy !req
276. What a pain in the ass!Copy !req
277. You assisted on his gastroplasty,
didn't you?Copy !req
278. - What? Yeah.
- Great! When he comes in, take him.Copy !req
279. I'm already busy.
I'm trying to get home for dinner.Copy !req
280. Sometimes being a Resident
just sucks.Copy !req
281. So, what'll it be?
Mother Goose or Bambi?Copy !req
282. - Are these leads on?
- The leads are on.Copy !req
283. Nothing in the alpha, theta or
delta frequencies. He's brain-dead.Copy !req
284. Well, maybe he can be an organ donor.Copy !req
285. Not too likely. He has type AB blood.
That's, what, 2% of the population?Copy !req
286. I doubt you'll find
many compatible candidates.Copy !req
287. - It's worth a try.
- Sure it is. Talk to the mother.Copy !req
288. If she won't go for it,
try to persuade her to pull the plug.Copy !req
289. So much for my miracle.Copy !req
290. Dr. Corday, the fertility
clinic just called.Copy !req
291. Your patient, David Gardner,
is having an Ml.Copy !req
292. His EKG was normal this morning.
Is he upstairs?Copy !req
293. They're taking him to the ER.Copy !req
294. Okay.Copy !req
295. I just took an unusual complaint.Copy !req
296. An irate elf claims you tortured him
with the cardioversion paddles?Copy !req
297. We differed over treatment strategies.
I wouldn't quite call it torture.Copy !req
298. I know. I read the chart.
He's clearly a nut case.Copy !req
299. - I'm just making sure you're all right.
- I'm okay.Copy !req
300. Although, to be honest,
I could've handled it better.Copy !req
301. I'm a little off my game today.
Blame it on the holidays.Copy !req
302. - Is it a rough time of year for you?
- Not usually.Copy !req
303. My ex-wife, she sent out this
newsletter saying how happy she is.Copy !req
304. I can't help but see it as her saying,
"Look how well I traded up. "Copy !req
305. - I got it.
- Thanks.Copy !req
306. - It's a tough time of year for me too.
- Really?Copy !req
307. This is the first Christmas
since my brother committed suicide.Copy !req
308. - Oh, jeez. I'm sorry.
- Yeah.Copy !req
309. It was one of those apocalyptic cult
things. The guys with the sneakers?Copy !req
310. Oh, yeah. I thought that
was a couple of years ago.Copy !req
311. He missed the big event,
so he decided to follow on his own.Copy !req
312. Wow! Sorry. I gotta say you're
handling it better than I would've.Copy !req
313. I credit that to my Grandma Lee.
She always said:Copy !req
314. "Whatever life throws at you,
greet it with a smile.Copy !req
315. There's nothing as contagious
as a positive attitude. "Copy !req
316. I think we'd all be better off
if we followed Grandma's advice.Copy !req
317. - Here we go.
- Coming through.Copy !req
318. - Let's get him into Trauma 1.
- Mr. Gardner, how are you?Copy !req
319. - My chest feels tight. I can't breathe.
- Is he your patient?Copy !req
320. Yes, and he's hyperventilating
like crazy.Copy !req
321. Hook him up to a 12-lead EKG
and a pulse ox.Copy !req
322. Start a line. Get a mask on him.Copy !req
323. We need to get your breathing under
control. Concentrate on the breaths.Copy !req
324. Let the breath out slowly.Copy !req
325. Slowly.Copy !req
326. - Monitor's up.
- All right.Copy !req
327. Yep, pulse is up to 99.
That's a good sign.Copy !req
328. You're gonna be fine.Copy !req
329. Breathe in on the count of five.Copy !req
330. One. Two.Copy !req
331. Oh, my! You're David-Copy !req
332. You're David Gardner, right?
The trumpet soloist?Copy !req
333. I saw your guest performance
with the Chicago Symphony.Copy !req
334. I'm sorry. I'm Kerry Weaver,
season ticket holder.Copy !req
335. Breathe out.Copy !req
336. I just loved your featured
performance in Mahler 2.Copy !req
337. It gave me shivers.Copy !req
338. Slowly.Copy !req
339. - Where do you go next?
- Boston.Copy !req
340. - Breathe in.
- The BSO! Yes!Copy !req
341. - I got your 12-lead.
- Breathe out.Copy !req
342. David, your heart looks just fine.Copy !req
343. We'll run a few tests
just to make sure.Copy !req
344. But I think that you were
just having an anxiety attack.Copy !req
345. Are you a bit nervous
about playing for Ozawa?Copy !req
346. Breathe in.Copy !req
347. How long have you had the pain?Copy !req
348. Ever since the surgery.
I wish I'd never had it.Copy !req
349. I heard stapling my stomach would help
me reduce, but I haven't lost a pound.Copy !req
350. Have you been sticking
to the all-liquid diet?Copy !req
351. - What did you have today?
- A little blended tea.Copy !req
352. - What was in it?
- Bacon and eggs.Copy !req
353. - Mr. DeMisa!
- But I blended it up.Copy !req
354. - What else did you have?
- A smoothie.Copy !req
355. - And what was in that?
- Low-fat milk...Copy !req
356. some butternut squash, sweet potato
pancakes, a honey-glazed ham...Copy !req
357. and a caramel-orange
Buche de Noel.Copy !req
358. - That's a full Christmas dinner.
- Oh, also, I'm a little backed up.Copy !req
359. - What do you mean a little backed up?
- Constipated.Copy !req
360. Okay. He probably busted a staple.Copy !req
361. Set him up for a gastrograph
and give him a laxative.Copy !req
362. I like the chocolate ones.
If that's all right?Copy !req
363. Dr. Carter...Copy !req
364. I was talking to Steven
and he moved his arm.Copy !req
365. He's having involuntary
muscle spasms.Copy !req
366. I think he was trying
to tell me something.Copy !req
367. I'm afraid that's not possible.Copy !req
368. We did a test on Steven to check for
brain activity. We didn't find any.Copy !req
369. Well, then...Copy !req
370. it'll take some time and-Copy !req
371. Time isn't going to help.Copy !req
372. Steven is brain-dead.Copy !req
373. No possibility of recovery.Copy !req
374. I know this is a really difficult
thing to think about right now.Copy !req
375. One way to salvage something
positive out of this...Copy !req
376. is to donate Steven's organs.Copy !req
377. No, I...Copy !req
378. I can't let you take out his organs
when his heart is still beating.Copy !req
379. If that's the case, I'd ask you...Copy !req
380. to consider signing
a "do not resuscitate" order.Copy !req
381. That way, if Steven's heart
fails again...Copy !req
382. we won't subject him
to overly aggressive procedures...Copy !req
383. by prolonging his life
in a vegetative state.Copy !req
384. I can hope for a miracle, can't I?Copy !req
385. Well, who do we have here?Copy !req
386. Mrs. Hutton fainted
while shopping at Lakewood Mall.Copy !req
387. I'm sorry. Don't worry, we'll have
you back on your feet in a jiff.Copy !req
388. All right.Copy !req
389. You been hitting the nitrous?Copy !req
390. You gotta greet life with a smile.Copy !req
391. - I do?
- Yeah. A positive attitude is contagious.Copy !req
392. So why don't you
tell me what happened?Copy !req
393. I went to Field's
Night Before Christmas sale.Copy !req
394. It was crowded. It was hot.
It was stuffy. I passed out.Copy !req
395. - Very nicely put.
- Thanks.Copy !req
396. Why don't we order Mrs. Hutton some
cardiac enzymes, CBC and a Chem-7?Copy !req
397. Hold it!
How much do those things cost?Copy !req
398. Gosh! I don't know.Copy !req
399. - You won't tell me?
- No, I mean I really don't know.Copy !req
400. - Please sit up.
- Oh, I got your number now.Copy !req
401. - Excuse me?
- You think you're pretty smart, huh?Copy !req
402. Sweet-talking me into buying all those
expensive tests I don't need.Copy !req
403. Just trying to make a diagnosis.Copy !req
404. I'm trying to survive
on Social Security.Copy !req
405. We can't all make a doctor's salary.Copy !req
406. Your insurance will pay for the tests.Copy !req
407. Oh, so that's your racket!
Ripping off insurance companies.Copy !req
408. It's crooks like you
that keep my premiums so high.Copy !req
409. Get me another doctor!Copy !req
410. He's the best doctor we have.Copy !req
411. Well, I don't like the look of him.
The way he smiles and talks.Copy !req
412. I want another doctor!
Any doctor as long as it isn't him!Copy !req
413. Mr. Gardner, your labs look stunning.Copy !req
414. We should probably wait on the cardiac
enzymes before letting you go.Copy !req
415. At this rate, I should
check in for the night.Copy !req
416. It would certainly save you
the drive in for surgery tomorrow.Copy !req
417. No, the less time I spend here
the better. No offense.Copy !req
418. None taken.Copy !req
419. So how are you feeling?Copy !req
420. Like an idiot. Here I thought
I was having this big heart attack...Copy !req
421. turns out I'm just a nervous wreck.Copy !req
422. If you want,
you could postpone surgery.Copy !req
423. No. I have to be
recovered by January 15th.Copy !req
424. I'm doing a televised special
with the Boston Symphony.Copy !req
425. Oh, I'll have to mark my calendar.Copy !req
426. Symphony fan?Copy !req
427. I know very little
about orchestral music.Copy !req
428. So, what do you like?Copy !req
429. Well...Copy !req
430. I'm embarrassed to say.Copy !req
431. How bad can it be?Copy !req
432. I'm in a disco phase at the moment.Copy !req
433. Yes, well, I can see why
you would be embarrassed.Copy !req
434. - You paged me?
- We've got a problem. He's stuck.Copy !req
435. - Stuck?
- He's wedged in. I can't get him out.Copy !req
436. - What do you expect me to do?
- Help me get him out?Copy !req
437. I don't have time for that.Copy !req
438. Have Maintenance
take the chair apart.Copy !req
439. - What?
- I gotta go to the bathroom.Copy !req
440. - You'll have to hold it.
- Help!Copy !req
441. - Help me get him out, please?
- Please!Copy !req
442. Okay, come on. Grab his arms.Copy !req
443. Oh, man! All right, on my count.
One, two, three.Copy !req
444. What a waste.Copy !req
445. Why did I do it? Why did I do it?
I know- I know better.Copy !req
446. You tried to save a life.Copy !req
447. I let that "instrument of God"
stuff go to my head.Copy !req
448. Maybe it is all arbitrary.Copy !req
449. Why does he deserve
a brain hemorrhage?Copy !req
450. And why does it blow
on Christmas Eve?Copy !req
451. What's the point?Copy !req
452. I got the tests back
on that teenager in 1.Copy !req
453. A little Christmas present
from the stork.Copy !req
454. Well, I'd better
go give the good news.Copy !req
455. - Oh, my God!
- Here.Copy !req
456. Oh, Dr. Weaver, you have to read this.Copy !req
457. - Read what?
- A triple-X sex fantasy.Copy !req
458. Excuse me?Copy !req
459. I found it in Dr. Lee's charts.
It's her handwriting.Copy !req
460. "I took M.G.'s gloved hand and placed
it on my heaving, pink, stippled breast. "Copy !req
461. Why am I reading this?Copy !req
462. - Don't you get it?
- "M.G. " is Mark Greene.Copy !req
463. - Come on!
- What about the glove reference?Copy !req
464. You have completely lost your mind.Copy !req
465. You found my notes on Mrs. Condrell.
I've looked up and down.Copy !req
466. - Mrs. Condrell?
- That psych patient? It's a sad case.Copy !req
467. She's psychotic,
extremely hypersexual...Copy !req
468. and has these obsessive fantasies
about Merv Griffin, of all people.Copy !req
469. Anyway, thank you.Copy !req
470. Next time you want to make an ass
out of yourself, leave me out of it.Copy !req
471. - Could there be a mistake?
- No mistake, Laura. You're pregnant.Copy !req
472. Oh, God!Copy !req
473. What do I do?Copy !req
474. - Can you talk to your mother?
- No way. She'll kill me.Copy !req
475. - Your dad?
- No.Copy !req
476. - Thanks.
- I had to sneak out even to come here.Copy !req
477. Are you gonna tell them?Copy !req
478. Not if you don't want me to.Copy !req
479. I don't.Copy !req
480. You have some choices:
You can have the baby, keep it...Copy !req
481. have the baby, put it up for adoption,
or have an abortion.Copy !req
482. I can't have a baby.Copy !req
483. There's no way.Copy !req
484. Can you help me?Copy !req
485. Yes, I can. I'll be right back.Copy !req
486. Stephanie, can you...? Thanks.Copy !req
487. Hey, Carol.Copy !req
488. I got a pregnant
13-year-old in there...Copy !req
489. who wants an abortion
on the holidays.Copy !req
490. God! Thirteen.Copy !req
491. Well, you think you can arrange that?Copy !req
492. Merry Christmas. Yeah.Copy !req
493. You can take it from here?Copy !req
494. Sure.Copy !req
495. Carla, I know his bedtime is at 8:00.Copy !req
496. I might not be able
to make it until then.Copy !req
497. Yeah, I know.
Listen, listen. Okay, okay.Copy !req
498. It's Christmas Eve.
I just want see my son, okay?Copy !req
499. Okay. Thank you so much.
I promise. I will. Yeah, bye.Copy !req
500. - How's it going?
- Don't ask.Copy !req
501. - You call the ER for DeMisa?
- He's still on the toilet.Copy !req
502. Lizzie, if you're ready,
we can go together.Copy !req
503. I have a couple of patients
to finish with.Copy !req
504. - Is Peter trying to ruin our evening?
- No, not at all.Copy !req
505. It was a joke.Copy !req
506. Look, I'll see you there.Copy !req
507. I left these unfinished
dictations for you.Copy !req
508. They need to be in by 8.
Appreciate the help. See you later.Copy !req
509. Sixteen-year-old, unconscious,
history of biliary atresia.Copy !req
510. - Hepatic coma?
- Looks like it.Copy !req
511. - She was fine until six months ago.
- What medication is she on?Copy !req
512. Ampicillin, tobramycin,
vitamins A, D and K.Copy !req
513. The skin's jaundiced.Copy !req
514. Same with sclera.
Her breath smells sweet.Copy !req
515. - Fetor hepaticus?
- Yep.Copy !req
516. - What's that?
- Liver's shut down. Dip a urine.Copy !req
517. It's getting crowded in here.
Can you deal with the parents?Copy !req
518. Start lactulose, 30 cc's per NG.Copy !req
519. We're giving her medicine
to clean her blood.Copy !req
520. - Blood in the urine.
- She's bleeding inside?Copy !req
521. The liver failure's
causing her blood not to clot.Copy !req
522. Oh, God!Copy !req
523. Is she on the transplant list?Copy !req
524. She's been Status 2A for six months.
But they haven't found a match.Copy !req
525. - Why not? What's her blood type?
- AB.Copy !req
526. What are you doing?
Are you hiding back here?Copy !req
527. Exactly.Copy !req
528. I tried your grandma's "greet with
a smile" approach on a patient...Copy !req
529. - ... and she threw me out.
- No!Copy !req
530. Yep.Copy !req
531. I've restricted myself to the
unconscious for the rest of the day.Copy !req
532. Now, now.Copy !req
533. There's something about me that
brings out the worst in people.Copy !req
534. I've noticed that.Copy !req
535. I'm like a magnet for negativity.
People get too close...Copy !req
536. I'll pull the positive
right out of them.Copy !req
537. - Oh, my God!
- What?Copy !req
538. - I suddenly feel sad.
- Low blood sugar?Copy !req
539. No. It's definitely you.Copy !req
540. Hey, shut the hell up.
I'm trying to sleep here.Copy !req
541. Another satisfied customer.Copy !req
542. Two kids come in. One's brain-dead,
the other needs a liver.Copy !req
543. They're both AB. A godsend!Copy !req
544. - The mother won't consent.
- She will when I get through with her.Copy !req
545. - Where's his mother?
- Not here.Copy !req
546. - Is he throwing PVCs?
- Yeah.Copy !req
547. Why didn't you call me?
Get the pacer-Copy !req
548. - Can't. DNR.
- What?Copy !req
549. - She said you talked her into it.
- There goes your godsend.Copy !req
550. - She say where she's going?
- No.Copy !req
551. If she comes back, keep her here.Copy !req
552. Laura, Dr. Sarafini can take you.Copy !req
553. What's wrong?Copy !req
554. I just keep thinking.Copy !req
555. It's a mortal sin.Copy !req
556. - Do you believe that?
- It doesn't matter what I believe.Copy !req
557. What do you think?Copy !req
558. I don't know.Copy !req
559. Anyone in your family you can talk to?
A sister maybe?Copy !req
560. What about your mom?Copy !req
561. She'll kill me.Copy !req
562. Look, Laura, this isn't gonna be easy.Copy !req
563. But it's a very big decision.Copy !req
564. I don't think you know what to do.
You really need to talk to someone.Copy !req
565. Can you call my mom?Copy !req
566. Yeah. I can. I'll call her.
I'll call her.Copy !req
567. - She's not back yet?
- No. He just went into V-tach.Copy !req
568. Damn it!Copy !req
569. I got a faint pulse.Copy !req
570. Give him 50 of lidocaine. Get the
paddles, I'll take responsibility.Copy !req
571. Yeah, and I'll lose my license.Copy !req
572. - What are you doing?
- I'll code him myself.Copy !req
573. - You're crazy.
- You can't ignore her wishes.Copy !req
574. You wanted a miracle?Copy !req
575. These two kids arriving on
the same day is as close as it gets.Copy !req
576. - She may not see it the way you do.
- I'll bet she does.Copy !req
577. - You're only thinking of yourself.
- And a dying 16-year-old girl.Copy !req
578. Charging at 200.Copy !req
579. Move them. Move them!Copy !req
580. - Clear!
- You're both crazy.Copy !req
581. - Back in sinus.
- Oh, now you did it!Copy !req
582. Page me if he goes south.
I'm going to find his mother.Copy !req
583. So which section of the orchestra
are you going out with now?Copy !req
584. I've been unattached since
I started the tour. Six months now.Copy !req
585. - That's a long time to be on the road.
- Yeah. Sure is.Copy !req
586. Swarms of groupies in every city?Copy !req
587. Well, a classical soloist
doesn't quite...Copy !req
588. lead the life of a Rolling Stone.Copy !req
589. But if I'd known I was gonna
lose my prostate...Copy !req
590. I would have made more
of an effort. Believe me.Copy !req
591. Are you still anxious
about the surgery tomorrow?Copy !req
592. I was never all that anxious about the
surgery, per se. It was more the-Copy !req
593. What?Copy !req
594. - You really want to know?
- Yes.Copy !req
595. Well, I went up to your clinic
to deposit my...Copy !req
596. DNA.Copy !req
597. Of course, they directed me to
the cubicle where they'd set up...Copy !req
598. the specimen jar and the...Copy !req
599. men's magazine.Copy !req
600. And I-Copy !req
601. And I just kept thinking:Copy !req
602. "Well, this is it.
This is my last sexual experience. "Copy !req
603. And I- Well, you know the rest.Copy !req
604. First time in history somebody's had
performance anxiety while by himself.Copy !req
605. David, would you like to grab
a bite to eat somewhere?Copy !req
606. Yes, Elizabeth.
I would like that very much.Copy !req
607. Mr. DeMisa, we got your x-rays back.
They're clear, so you are-Copy !req
608. Mr. DeMisa?Copy !req
609. Mr. DeMisa?Copy !req
610. Takata, have you seen
our 400-pound patient?Copy !req
611. - What?
- I'm missing five patient dinners.Copy !req
612. - Damn it!
- Mr. DeMisa?Copy !req
613. - Mr. DeMisa?
- Mr. DeMisa?Copy !req
614. - Mr. DeMisa?
- Over here.Copy !req
615. - What is it?
- Cake crumbs.Copy !req
616. Looks like German chocolate.Copy !req
617. Mr. DeMisa? Damn it!Copy !req
618. He's unconscious.Copy !req
619. He vomited. There's at least
a half a gallon here.Copy !req
620. No bowel sounds, abdomen's rigid.
He really did it.Copy !req
621. - He blew a staple?
- Yeah.Copy !req
622. - Need a gurney!
- Prep an O.R., get an X-ray.Copy !req
623. Get Romano's ass back here.Copy !req
624. Mrs. Richards?Copy !req
625. I'm sorry to bother you...Copy !req
626. but an extraordinary
thing has happened.Copy !req
627. A 16-year-old girl with the exact
same rare blood type as Steven's...Copy !req
628. came into the ER in liver failure.Copy !req
629. Now, I can't help but to think...Copy !req
630. that if God meant
for Steven to die tonight...Copy !req
631. at Christmas...Copy !req
632. then it must be
so that this girl can live.Copy !req
633. I'm sorry.Copy !req
634. But I can't think about
another child's problems right now.Copy !req
635. All I want is for my son
to die peacefully...Copy !req
636. and to be buried whole.Copy !req
637. Excuse me.Copy !req
638. - Lots of free air under the diaphragm.
- Yeah, he's perfed his stomach.Copy !req
639. - Romano?
- I paged him five times.Copy !req
640. - Who's on call?
- Guthrie. Just started a Triple A.Copy !req
641. BP's dropped to 80 palp.
We can't wait much longer.Copy !req
642. He's got a fever.Copy !req
643. Give him a gram of cefotaxime,
500 of Flagyl. Hand me a scalpel.Copy !req
644. - You're starting without an Attending?
- He's septic.Copy !req
645. We keep him on the table, he'll die.Copy !req
646. What the hell? Hey, Carol?Copy !req
647. Hey, you see there's a priest
in there with that girl?Copy !req
648. He'll pressure her
into having the kid.Copy !req
649. - Maybe he'll counsel her too.
- How'd he find out?Copy !req
650. She asked me to call her mom.
He came with her.Copy !req
651. - I wish you'd told me about it.
- Why?Copy !req
652. Because I would've tried
to keep him out.Copy !req
653. Are those baked beans?Copy !req
654. Yeah.Copy !req
655. - And French fries.
- That's rank!Copy !req
656. What's this? Coleslaw.Copy !req
657. Here's a good one.Copy !req
658. What's that, mystery meat?Copy !req
659. What the hell are you doing
operating on him?Copy !req
660. Saving his life.
You jerk.Copy !req
661. Get me a gown and gloves now!Copy !req
662. Peter, get your hands
out of my patient!Copy !req
663. - Give me a little suction here.
- Sucker's clogged.Copy !req
664. Yeah. It's a cranberry.Copy !req
665. Let's go, Shirley, gloves!Copy !req
666. - Where the hell is she?
- Who?Copy !req
667. Who do you think?
What'd you do, give her extra work?Copy !req
668. What are you talking about?Copy !req
669. Step away.Copy !req
670. - Fine.
- Who gave you permission to start?Copy !req
671. - He was going into septic shock.
- You are a Resident.Copy !req
672. You don't take a piss
without permission.Copy !req
673. Where the hell's Lizzie?
Off doing your scut?Copy !req
674. She left an hour ago.Copy !req
675. What'd you use to make this incision?
A chain saw?Copy !req
676. - He's been drinking.
- What?Copy !req
677. He's drunk.Copy !req
678. Go. Call Anspaugh now.Copy !req
679. Retract the bowel.Copy !req
680. Retract the bowel, please.Copy !req
681. Have you been drinking?Copy !req
682. Are you questioning
my surgical fitness?Copy !req
683. - How many drinks have you had?
- Go to hell.Copy !req
684. I'm gonna ask you
to step back, please.Copy !req
685. - Sponge.
- Dr. Romano!Copy !req
686. - Touch me again, I'll deck you.
- Look, you're drunk!Copy !req
687. All right, Shirley.
Get me some clean gloves and a gown.Copy !req
688. Coming right up.Copy !req
689. - Who ordered all this stuff?
- What is it?Copy !req
690. Pizza, beer, brandy,
whole bunch of spices-Copy !req
691. The provisions have arrived.
How much do I owe?Copy !req
692. $212, plus a tip.Copy !req
693. - What's going on?
- Christmas party.Copy !req
694. - I didn't know there was one.
- There is now. My treat.Copy !req
695. It's really crowded. Can we take
this stuff into the lounge?Copy !req
696. Grouch.Copy !req
697. Thanks, guys.Copy !req
698. Remember to punch out
before boozing. Thanks.Copy !req
699. - Why do we need brandy and spices?
- Hot toddies.Copy !req
700. - Sultan of Jahore's favorite.
- If it's good enough for him...Copy !req
701. Yeah, make mine a double.Copy !req
702. - Jerry, where's my lab coat?
- It was here a minute ago.Copy !req
703. Where did it go?Copy !req
704. - I don't even want to hazard a guess.
- That's a wise choice, Jerry.Copy !req
705. I admit it.
There's no such thing as miracles.Copy !req
706. You don't really believe that.Copy !req
707. I don't know what I believe.Copy !req
708. I was so sure that I was right.Copy !req
709. That I had the Big Kahuna on my side.Copy !req
710. - That's pretty arrogant, huh?
- Very.Copy !req
711. - What's going on?
- Apparently, Mrs. Richards...Copy !req
712. bumped into the Mikamis
in the hallway...Copy !req
713. and they got to talking.Copy !req
714. She consented to the liver transplant.Copy !req
715. Oh, my God!Copy !req
716. Before you give Him all the credit
you should know something.Copy !req
717. - What?
- I introduced them.Copy !req
718. What do you know?
You're an instrument of God.Copy !req
719. Oh, please.Copy !req
720. Sorry.Copy !req
721. How sorry?Copy !req
722. Well...Copy !req
723. Not sorry enough to go to Mass
tonight, if that's what you mean.Copy !req
724. What I don't understand is...Copy !req
725. how I can care so much for a
hot-tempered, pig-headed heathen.Copy !req
726. I'd prefer "pagan. "Copy !req
727. Heathen.Copy !req
728. I'm finishing up
my disciplinary report...Copy !req
729. recommending you be terminated...Copy !req
730. for operating without an Attending.Copy !req
731. - You turn that in, I'll defend myself.
- Well, good luck, Peter.Copy !req
732. I'll have to turn in these labs
showing your blood alcohol was. 12.Copy !req
733. You shouldn't have been driving,
let alone operating.Copy !req
734. Don't bluff me, Peter.
You didn't draw my blood.Copy !req
735. Not from there.Copy !req
736. Mark, look here!Copy !req
737. - Gotcha.
- These hot toddies are delicious.Copy !req
738. - I want the recipe.
- No problem.Copy !req
739. Hey, Jerry. Want to try one
of Dr. Lee's hot toddies?Copy !req
740. Just give me a beer.Copy !req
741. Christian soul out of this world.Copy !req
742. In the name of God the Father
who created you.Copy !req
743. In the name of Jesus Christ
who redeemed you.Copy !req
744. In the name of the Holy Spirit
who sanctifies you...Copy !req
745. Merry Christmas, Amanda.Copy !req