Elsbeth 1x3

1. Cheers, ladies.

2. Now, who is ready to bake some cupcakes

3. and raise some money for Peyronie's Disease Awareness?

4. Oh, so we're going to act like nothing happened.

5. What are you talking about?

6. I heard you told Shusie that I wouldn't come

7. to her product launch. Tracy, Wendy,

8. this is not the time or the place.

9. This is not your story, Maisie.

10. I never said that.

11. I said you'd show up late. You always do.

12. That is not what she said.

13. I don't care what that bitch said.

14. I'm the one who has your back.

15. And I have your back, too.

16. All right, let's make some cupcakes.

17. I have just the thing that'll help.

18. Oh, you carried that here?

19. Yeah. Wendy's Blendies are light as a feather.

20. And after cupcakes, we can make some healthy green smoothies.

21. How are they selling? I hear not well.

22. Oh, no, they're really catching on, yeah.

23. Especially when people see how powerful they are.

24. They're gonna want to get one for Mom...

25. All right, cut.

26. What?

27. I need a mic off with Wendy.

28. Somebody's in trouble.

29. Wendy, we talked about you

30. pushing your blenders on the show.

31. Lavish Ladies is supposed to be a launching pad

32. for other ventures.

33. I know. You all want to be Bethenny Frankel,

34. but you're not Bethenny Frankel

35. And you're not Andy Cohen.

36. He has a franchise.

37. Why do you want to hurt me?

38. Okay, nobody knew who you were

39. before the show.

40. Yeah, but they do now.

41. I'm season one.

42. I am so tired of you telling me what to do.

43. Wendy, what are you doing?

44. It's me, okay?

45. I'm not just your producer,

46. I'm your friend who loves you.

47. And when you get like this, you drive people away.

48. This is why you're alone.

49. I don't want that for you.

50. Oh, Skip, I love you, too.

51. I love that I'm your favorite.

52. Oh, you are. Come here.

53. You are my favorite. From season one.

54. I'm just all mixed up.

55. The blenders aren't selling.

56. I can't stop thinking about what happened to Katricia.

57. Katricia was bad TV. Okay? You know that.

58. Something had to be done.

59. I just feel like I can't keep it secret much longer.

60. This is not the time or the place.

61. I agree.

62. Why don't you come see me tonight?

63. Valencia has the night off.

64. We'll discuss terms?

65. You know where to find me.

66. Somebody go buy some cupcakes

67. and pretend that they made them.

68. Skip, hi. Are we still on for tonight?

69. Drinks at 9:00. Oh...

70. You promised. Oh, right, right, right, right.

71. But, Tracy, try to be on time for once, all right?

72. Mm, you know me so well.

73. That's how I know I'm your favorite. Mwah. Yeah.

74. Bye.

75. Ah.

76. Okay, do we really have to do this here?

77. This is where I take all my most important meetings.

78. Okay. So, what do you want?

79. You make it sound so impersonal.

80. Don't you feel bad about what you did to Katricia?

81. Mm, what we did?

82. She's in bad shape since she left the show.

83. She lost her kids.

84. I just wish there was something I could do.

85. Aw, come off it, Wendy.

86. I don't believe all this deep concern for a second.

87. You don't?

88. What will it take

89. to keep all this between us?

90. Do you honestly think I'm that ruthless?

91. I want executive producer credit and all that goes with it.

92. Casting approval, editorial control,

93. network support of Wendy's Blendies,

94. including on-camera testimonial from you.

95. Oh, you actually think that... I'm not done.

96. I want 15% of foreign sales, 17% of streaming,

97. and favored nations participation.

98. With all the ladies? Oh, no, no, no, no.

99. With you.

100. Okay.

101. Oh, you're insane. Okay, but you can't have it.

102. Any of it. That's okay.

103. I'm sure you're gonna do just fine... in prison.

104. Let me, uh, call corporate.

105. Oh, that's right.

106. You're not really the boss, are you?

107. All done.

108. Oh, Skippy, yay.

109. How about we celebrate with some margaritas?

110. We're gonna have so much fun.

111. We're gonna be full partners

112. making every decision together.

113. I just get final say.

114. For starters, I don't think Tracy

115. needs to be on every week.

116. A little of her goes a long way.

117. Hey, I see what you're doing.

118. Don't mess with me, Skip.

119. There better be at least three temazepam in there,

120. or I'm not gonna feel anything.

121. Oh.

122. I'm gonna need an office right next to yours,

123. so we can be in constant contact.

124. Which means I'm gonna get your

125. private cell number, finally.

126. You're gonna have to turn your location services on

127. so I can reach you whenever I want.

128. Ooh, that looks good.

129. Oh.

130. Sweetie, I'm not mad, okay? You know I got your back.

131. I'm sorry I'm late!

132. I'm here.

133. And Tracy just got here.

134. Oh, only a few minutes late. It's a miracle.

135. All right, I'll see you tomorrow, Wendy.

136. Love you. Bye.

137. Okay. Ready? Mm-hmm.

138. Ms. Tascioni I don't know why

139. I find it so hard not to push buttons.

140. It's up this way.

141. You know, you really should call me Elsbeth.

142. And can I call you Kaya?

143. I guess. Whatever.

144. Such a pretty name.

145. I had no idea that people live like this

146. in the middle of Manhattan.

147. Some people do.

148. Well, it beats my short-term rental,

149. which is nothing like the photos online.

150. But I guess it's hard to photograph cockroaches.

151. Ooh, I don't like cockroaches, but that's just me.

152. Ooh, sparkly.

153. That's fun. Don't touch that.

154. Who are you? Elsbeth Tascioni.

155. Elsbeth? What kind of name is that?

156. Frustrating, but you get used to it.

157. Ms. Tascioni is here on the consent decree

158. for Major Cases.

159. Oh, right.

160. A few wrongful arrests in the unit,

161. and now we're stuck with the police police.

162. This is Detective Donnelly.

163. You gonna mess with me, Elsbeth?

164. Oh, I don't think that would be a good idea.

165. But can you tell me what happened here?

166. I guess I have to, don't I? Mm.

167. The deceased, one Wendy Wexler, probably inebriated,

168. she knocked a blender into her tub,

169. and she electrocuted herself.

170. Uh, time of death was 9:02,

171. as recorded by the generator that got tripped

172. when the circuit shorted out.

173. We found her phone in the tub.

174. Put that in a bowl of rice. It should work tomorrow.

175. Back away.

176. Sorry.

177. You were saying?

178. Time of death 9:02.

179. The housekeeper Valencia found her this morning.

180. I am not a housekeeper. I am a paid intern.

181. It's a stupid and pointless way to go.

182. Why do people insist on mixing

183. frozen cocktails in the bathroom?

184. I hate to say it,

185. but this is just the kind of thing

186. Wendy would do. Yeah.

187. Wait, you knew her? Not really.

188. She was a Lavish Lady.

189. Well, you can tell by her bathroom.

190. No, she was on a reality show.

191. Lavish Ladies?

192. Oh, I've seen ads for that at the dentist.

193. Wait, are you a fan?

194. I guess. I've seen every episode,

195. a few times.

196. You should speak up.

197. This is a great opportunity for you.

198. Detective Donnelly.

199. What are you doing?

200. Excuse me, Detective, but Officer Blanke here

201. happens to be an expert on the deceased's reality show.

202. I did not say expert.

203. Oh, really? Because we just found

204. her shooting schedule for today,

205. and we were gonna head over and break the news.

206. Well, I think that Officer Blanke and I

207. should definitely be there, too, 'cause she'll know

208. exactly who's who.

209. See? How about that?

210. Okay. Can you please not share my personal business

211. without asking?

212. I don't understand. What did I do?

213. I don't need people at work knowing my TV-watching habits.

214. I like to be taken seriously.

215. Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't think.

216. Um, should I tell Detective Donnelly

217. that you'd rather not go?

218. Oh, no, no. Mm-mm.

219. No, I mean, it's fine.

220. It's too late now, right?

221. Shusie, you know what you said.

222. I can't believe you'd take her side

223. when I'm the one who has your back.

224. Girls, this is not the time or the place.

225. Oh, please. This is exactly the time and exactly...

226. Mr. Mason?

227. I'm Detective Donnelly, NYPD.

228. This is Officer Blanke.

229. And I'm Elsbeth Tascioni.

230. Elizabeth?

231. No, Elsbeth.

232. I know, it's half the syllables,

233. but somehow twice the effort.

234. Well, we're used to funny names around here.

235. What-what can I do for you?

236. Do you mind?

237. Sorry. Uh, that's enough.

238. Huh. Sparkly.

239. Excuse me?

240. Little bits of glitter.

241. Uh, yeah, yeah. I'm a...

242. I'm afraid there's glitter everywhere.

243. The ladies use it in their hair, in their makeup.

244. In the bathtub?

245. I wouldn't be surprised.

246. No, I have a feeling you wouldn't be.

247. Thank you. Um, so, what's going on?

248. Uh, this is about Wendy Wexler.

249. There's been an accident.

250. Oh, God. What kind of accident?

251. I'm-I'm sorry. Is she all right?

252. She's dead.

253. What? No. What?

254. How? It seems she was

255. using a blender while taking a bubble bath.

256. And it fell in?

257. Something like that. Oh, my God.

258. Oh, I-I told her she was drinking too much.

259. It was so sad. She-she wouldn't listen.

260. She started spiking her smoothies

261. after she got dumped by Pierre the art dealer.

262. You're a fan of the show?

263. I'm very touched.

264. Thank you.

265. Mr. Mason, I wonder,

266. would it be possible for the police to

267. ask people some questions?

268. I thought you are the police.

269. Oh, no, they are.

270. I'm like the police police.

271. That is such a good way of putting it.

272. No, I'm just here to

273. make sure everything is done right.

274. They've had some teeny corruption problems.

275. Oh. Ooh.

276. Um, yes, yes. Talk to whoever you like.

277. You're part of the Lavish Ladies family now.

278. Hmm?

279. Oh, God.

280. Wendy.

281. To die in such a senseless accident.

282. It's-its— Mmm. In the bathtub?

283. Mmm, with glitter in it.

284. Well, she always knew how to sparkle.

285. Okay, I guess I need to go

286. tell the others.

287. Ooh, this is so gonna be hard.

288. Shouldn't they stop the cameras?

289. Are you kidding?

290. Funny, this doesn't feel like reality.

291. It's so...

292. sparkly.

293. Oh, hello there, Kaya.

294. Hi.

295. You know, I am so interested

296. in that reality show,

297. but I don't really want to start

298. all the way back at the beginning,

299. so I was wondering

300. if you could give me a crash course,

301. maybe if I bought you dinner?

302. Tonight?

303. I happen to be free. That's fun.

304. Don't say anything without a lawyer present.

305. You can thank me later.

306. Ms. Tascioni.

307. Hmm?

308. Good morning, Captain Wagner.

309. Ms. Tascioni, what are you doing here?

310. Oh, you know. Observing.

311. Yeah? You can't be doing that.

312. But the consent decree...

313. You're supposed to observe

314. high-profile investigations,

315. not get into every little thing.

316. Oh, I don't mind.

317. My officers do.

318. Focus on this woman's

319. accident in her bathtub.

320. It's not even a homicide and it's eating up my day.

321. Actually, I'm not sure

322. it was an accident.

323. In fact... I don't want to hear it.

324. And I don't want you hovering.

325. Well, maybe if I had a real office...

326. It's just that storage closet is so small.

327. I mean, I've been trying

328. with these different

329. paint and wallpaper samples,

330. but it's a very challenging space.

331. Well, maybe it's time we put you someplace else.

332. Oh. Noonan.

333. Uh, ooh.

334. Are all these, um, awards yours?

335. What did Wali do now?

336. Ooh, who-who's Wally?

337. Is he that angry guy that came to talk to you?

338. And is that a first name or a last name?

339. Ms. Tascioni,

340. please forget you ever heard that name.

341. Well, you just made that impossible.

342. Try. Okay.

343. Lieutenant Noonan,

344. Ms. Tascioni needs a real office.

345. Someplace she can put down her tote bags

346. and stay out of everybody's business.

347. What have we got on the fifth floor?

348. Fifth floor? This is the second floor.

349. That would put me... Mm-hmm.

350. Actually, I am very happy in the closet.

351. Ooh, that didn't sound right.

352. Um, I'm fine.

353. Really. Although I could

354. use some help getting to the window.

355. Noonan, go give her a hand.

356. Why would anyone watch this?

357. So, have you known Captain Wagner a long time?

358. Only 25 years.

359. We started at the academy together,

360. and then we were partners.

361. Police captain is such an important job,

362. all those high-profile investigations.

363. There must be some sticky situations.

364. Not if you're a man of integrity,

365. and nobody's got more integrity than C.W. Wagner.

366. Oh, my.

367. He sounds almost too good to be true.

368. So, um, why was that Wally guy so angry?

369. You ask a lot of questions.

370. Maybe too many.

371. Ah.

372. All right, there you are.

373. Oh, hurray.

374. I can make this work somehow.

375. Thank you very much, Lieutenant.

376. Mm-hmm.

377. Okay, let me see

378. if I can get this straight.

379. So, Shusie— whose name I love, by the way—

380. slept with Maisie's husband...

381. Ex-husband. ex-husband Ryan,

382. who faked having multiple sclerosis

383. in an insurance fraud.

384. Now you got it.

385. Wow. This show is amazing.

386. Okay, so now we can move on to season five.

387. Can I just say, you're an amazing teacher.

388. It's easy.

389. These women are like my friends.

390. Oh, stop.

391. No, it's true.

392. They're like my friends who I think are messed up

393. but I also envy their lives.

394. And real estate.

395. Well, I don't see why.

396. Your life is so interesting. Mmm.

397. You even live in a place called Queens.

398. On my way here,

399. I saw so many

400. exciting things on the 7 train.

401. And I thought, "Kaya never has to

402. scream for a cop, 'cause she is one."

403. That is a perk.

404. Yeah, and I love your house.

405. Where did you get all this stuff?

406. Thrift stores, mostly.

407. The molding and the wallpaper...

408. Did it all myself,

409. with the help of my other friends on HGTV.

410. Well, I like it much better than anything on Lavish Ladies.

411. Thanks.

412. Okay, so, season five

413. is when Katricia has her Montauk meltdown.

414. You don't have my back,

415. any of you, and

416. I don't want you to have my back

417. because this back

418. is mine.

419. Tricia, we all love you.

420. Well, I don't love you.

421. I don't love anybody. Not my husband,

422. not my kids. Not even my clothes.

423. Oh, stop.

424. I hate my clothes!

425. Yuck.

426. No, stop. Stop. This is too awful.

427. Yep. Katricia left the show after that.

428. Well, no wonder.

429. If I were her, I'd be mad at

430. that Skip guy for putting that on TV.

431. In fact...

432. I think he may have killed Wendy.

433. Mmm, that doesn't make any sense.

434. He created the show,

435. and plucked them from already wealthy obscurity.

436. Why would he harm one of his original meal tickets?

437. Okay. Well, just for the sake of argument,

438. what if it wasn't an accident?

439. And if it wasn't Skip,

440. who was Wendy's biggest rival?

441. You sure you don't want a glass?

442. Oh, no, I'm fine.

443. I'm on duty.

444. And is that really a glass or a goblet?

445. I don't know.

446. Because it holds a lot.

447. I'm still shaken up.

448. Wendy was my best friend.

449. Really? Mm-hmm.

450. But you were such rivals.

451. Oh, please.

452. That was just an act, to make good TV.

453. It was?

454. We'd call each other every night

455. and plan what we'd

456. fight about the next day on camera.

457. I tried her that night, but I got no answer.

458. What time was that?

459. I don't know.

460. After I got home from seeing Skip.

461. You were with Skip that night?

462. We met for drinks at 9:00.

463. Oh, in fact,

464. he was leaving a message for Wendy when I got there.

465. Did Skip know that

466. you and Wendy planned your scenes together?

467. Oh, please.

468. Skip likes to think he's the mastermind.

469. God forbid we should think for ourselves,

470. or he should pay us.

471. Wait, you don't get paid?

472. Not what we deserve.

473. Trust me, reality doesn't pay.

474. And Wendy had money troubles.

475. That's why she kept pushing her blenders.

476. And why Skip had to pull her off set that day

477. for a mic off.

478. What's a mic off?

479. No mics, so nobody can hear.

480. I could tell he was pretty pissed.

481. Everyone here in the Lavish Ladies family

482. is devastated by the tragic accidental death

483. of Wendy Wexler.

484. Um, it's hard to imagine Lavish Ladies

485. without her, but, uh...

486. Let's-let's do this later. I'm not feeling it.

487. Um... thank you.

488. No, other side.

489. Your right— your right side.

490. Just gotta push. Oh.

491. Thank you. Sorry.

492. Thank you. Oh. Sorry.

493. Uh, Elsbeth, right?

494. Oh, yes. Very good.

495. Well, we might have to change your name

496. if we ever get you on TV.

497. Oh, gosh.

498. I don't think I'd do well on television.

499. I'm not so sure.

500. Just get you a stylist...

501. So, what brings you

502. back to me so soon?

503. Um... Uh, well, you said that

504. we could talk to anybody,

505. so we just had

506. a nice little chat with Tracy Crenshaw.

507. Ooh. Oh, poor Tracy.

508. She and Wendy had such a rocky relationship.

509. It must make this even more painful.

510. Yeah.

511. Tracy said she was with you the night Wendy died.

512. That is true. Uh, yes, we had drinks.

513. I remember I was leaving a message

514. for Wendy when Tracy arrived.

515. I can show you the time on my phone.

516. Isn't that what she said?

517. That's... exactly what she said.

518. Sorry. Um...

519. Why are you asking these questions

520. when Wendy's death was an accident?

521. Oh, you know, that darn consent decree,

522. I just have to make sure

523. that the police get everything right

524. in their report.

525. So Tracy said that you pulled Wendy off set

526. for a "mic off"?

527. Uh, yes, she was hijacking the scene to sell blenders.

528. Wendy always had money problems,

529. so she had to do

530. these side hustles to pay the bills—

531. the blenders, personal appearances, cameos.

532. I told her she was only hurting her brand, but...

533. ah, you couldn't reason with her when she was drinking.

534. She drank a lot? Oh, it was so sad.

535. Believe me, I kept the worst of it off the show.

536. Oh...

537. So you get to decide what the audience sees.

538. Of course.

539. I can make people look any way I want

540. with enough footage.

541. I knew how to keep Wendy relatable.

542. If people knew all the ugly stuff,

543. oof, they'd be shocked.

544. Maybe not the best choice of words...

545. Speaking of editing, um,

546. I'm afraid I do have work to do.

547. Oh, of course, um...

548. This has been so helpful.

549. Good luck with that report.

550. Huh.

551. That's so interesting. What is?

552. Well, you keep saying how Wendy's drinking was so sad.

553. It was. Right.

554. But margaritas aren't really a sad drink.

555. Margaritas are a happy drink.

556. What do you mean? Well...

557. The people that I've known with a drinking problem,

558. when they're alone, they just want to...

559. get it in 'em.

560. They don't fire up the old blender and...

561. slice a lime.

562. I suppose that's my fault.

563. It is?

564. After being on the show for so long,

565. Wendy lived her life

566. like there was always a camera running.

567. Putting on a show to hide her pain.

568. Huh.

569. That does sort of make sense.

570. But I guess we'll never know.

571. Oh...

572. I think we'll figure it out.

573. Yeah, uh, stop what you're doing.

574. We need to put some footage together for the police.

575. They need our help.

576. Hi.

577. Skip said that Wendy did cameos.

578. Did she play small parts in movies?

579. No, she did cameos.

580. You know, like when people pay celebrities

581. to record a message for someone?

582. Oh...!

583. When did she do her last one? Can we see it?

584. Maybe, if it's trending...

585. She's a celebrity who just died

586. in a freakish way.

587. Would that be trending?

588. Hey, Samantha. I hope I'm saying that right.

589. It's me, Wendy Wexler.

590. I am just here enjoying a Plushy Glitter Bath Bomb.

591. It is so luxurious,

592. I am proud to be a paid spokesperson.

593. Anyway, your bestie Mandy told me that you just got

594. your Alexander Technique Certificate,

595. so congratulations, girl!

596. You crushed it!

597. Why am I looking at this?

598. That was recorded 23 minutes before the time of death.

599. Okay, so?

600. Where's the wine glass?

601. What?

602. She's holding a wine glass.

603. There was a margarita glass found in the tub

604. but no wine glass. Well, maybe

605. she wanted a different drink, so she went down to the kitchen

606. and got a different glass.

607. Naked and dripping wet?

608. Officer Blanke,

609. you, apparently, are the expert.

610. She could have.

611. But it's extremely unlikely.

612. And why was Skip Mason

613. so eager to prove his alibi with Tracy?

614. Maybe because he doesn't want to be

615. wrongfully accused of murder.

616. And who gave you the authority to interview Skip Mason?

617. He did. He said we're part of the family.

618. Okay, here's my theory...

619. I don't want more theories. The evidence is clear.

620. Wendy Wexler died by accident

621. by knocking her blender into the bathtub

622. because she was drunk.

623. Not necessarily. What now?

624. The autopsy results.

625. The deceased had very little alcohol in her system.

626. There was some Temazepam and tequila found

627. in the bathwater, but she was sober. See?

628. Also, we dusted everything on the tray for prints.

629. And there were none.

630. Not even Wendy's.

631. Somebody may have wiped them down.

632. Go back to the house and see what you can find.

633. Where did Skip put the wine glass?

634. Skip Mason had no motive.

635. That we know about.

636. What about Wendy's ex-husband?

637. He moved to Dubai. Right.

638. There was space on the tray

639. for an extra glass.

640. He must have put them back.

641. No wine glass in the sink.

642. And she clearly didn't wash her own dishes.

643. No.

644. Aha!

645. You see that?

646. Glitter. From the bath bomb.

647. And I'll bet...

648. Yes!

649. Glitter on the wine glass

650. and on an extra margarita glass.

651. She wasn't drinking alone.

652. Whoever killed Wendy thought that they cleaned these

653. well enough, but they didn't.

654. We know, there's glitter all over the place.

655. You can't get rid of it. Exactly.

656. It takes a manicure

657. like the one that Skip Mason got the morning after the murder.

658. You can't build this case on glitter.

659. You don't have to.

660. Turns out Valencia, the housekeeper—

661. "Paid intern." Turns out she has a record.

662. Assaulted her former employer.

663. But what about Skip?

664. Yeah, about him...

665. Wendy's phone dried out. We got it working again.

666. Password was her actual birthday.

667. Do you mind?

668. Sorry. She left this message

669. exactly two minutes after the time of death.

670. Hey, Wen, it's Skip.

671. Look, I'm not, I'm not mad, uh...

672. You know I've got your back...

673. I cannot believe

674. I am actually on time.

675. Yay for me!

676. Tracy just got here.

677. Only a few minutes late. It's a miracle.

678. Love you, Wen. See you tomorrow.

679. Tracy met him on the street, in front of a bar

680. 20 minutes away. Just like he said.

681. Airtight alibi.

682. Told ya.

683. Valencia, how many times do I have to tell you

684. that when you get here

685. you need to unload the dishwasher.

686. Okay, that is not the job of a "paid intern."

687. Sweetie, your job is what I say it is.

688. And now,

689. please go clean my toilets.

690. Again, not my job.

691. That brings me to my next subject...

692. This is hilarious.

693. I wish they put it on the show.

694. Where did all this come from? Outtakes.

695. Skip Mason put it together.

696. Of course he did.

697. He can make a person look any way he wants to,

698. given enough footage.

699. I swear to God, Wendy,

700. I'm going to kill you!

701. So you killed her.

702. That's ridiculous.

703. You assaulted your previous employer.

704. Geraldine was nuts. She hit me first.

705. And those charges were dropped.

706. And what about the extension cord?

707. What extension cord?

708. On the blender.

709. We have a receipt proving you bought it.

710. Wendy expected me to use that dinky three-foot cord

711. on her fancy English vacuum,

712. so I bought a longer one.

713. You hated the way she treated you.

714. It's all there on the video.

715. That was all just an act for the cameras.

716. Why would I kill Wendy?

717. I had a really good thing going.

718. I'd been stealing money from her for years.

719. I admit, that doesn't sound good.

720. You heard it, Captain. Valencia found the body.

721. She and Wendy argued all the time.

722. She threatened her. She has a record.

723. She bought the extension cord.

724. And she was stealing from her.

725. Case closed. Or not.

726. Who asked you?

727. Well, why would she admit all that if she were guilty?

728. So someone like you would say that.

729. Well, I'd hate to report

730. that the police didn't follow every lead.

731. Are you serious, Ms. Tascioni?

732. You know, I think I am.

733. Were there any other messages on Wendy's phone?

734. Yeah.

735. Who the hell is Katricia?

736. Mm, no, big mistake.

737. Katricia's had a hard time since the Montauk meltdown.

738. She's unstable and, I hate to say it, disgruntled.

739. Well, maybe we should talk to her anyway.

740. You can't. She disappeared.

741. She's off social media. Nobody knows where she is.

742. Do you think it's possible that she's been murdered, too?

743. It's possible. God.

744. What if someone's been targeting my ladies?

745. The police have got to stop them.

746. I totally agree.

747. Oh, you know...

748. you know, we've never had a cop on the show.

749. Could certainly use one now.

750. I need to go tighten up security.

751. We need to find Katricia.

752. I don't know how you found me.

753. You once mentioned your hideaway in Chelsea on a podcast,

754. and I tracked it down.

755. Not a stalker.

756. Officer Blanke is just a really big fan of Lavish Ladies.

757. Yeah?

758. Well, I'm not.

759. That show lost me my marriage, my kids.

760. That's why I had to downsize.

761. I used to have it all.

762. Then Skip Mason ruined my life.

763. Oh, I believe it.

764. Can you... tell us how?

765. You know why I just took eight shots of tequila?

766. No, but I confess I've been extremely curious.

767. To prove it doesn't affect me.

768. See? Steady as a rock.

769. I could always hold my liquor,

770. which drove Skip crazy.

771. All the other ladies would get sloppy

772. and start screaming at each other, but not me.

773. I was smart and sober,

774. which meant I was bad TV.

775. So he drugged me.

776. Which led to the Montauk meltdown. You think I would've said

777. those horrible things from a few glasses

778. of pinot grigio?

779. Skip drugged me.

780. And he had help from Wendy.

781. From Wendy?

782. From Bathtub Blendie Wendy?

783. Yeah, Skip got all his drugs from Wendy.

784. She was queen of the pharmaceuticals.

785. How do you know that?

786. Because she admitted it.

787. After I lost custody of my kids, Wendy felt bad.

788. We had long talks on the phone about it.

789. You know, she promised she would send me something

790. to make it up to me.

791. What could she send?

792. Ooh, a signed statement would've been powerful,

793. especially if she'd had it notarized.

794. I'm a lawyer. Do you think that could've been it?

795. I-I don't know, 'cause whatever it was,

796. she never sent it.

797. I mean, I'm not surprised, she would never jeopardize the show.

798. The show was everything to her.

799. Still...

800. "Still..." Still what?

801. Last time we spoke, she said,

802. with everything she knew, she could send Skip Mason to prison.

803. But I guess it's too late for that.

804. Not necessarily.

805. Yeah, uh, this looks good.

806. Just remember, it's a memorial, not a funeral.

807. So we don't want to be too much of a downer.

808. Yeah.

809. Shusie? Shusie, I need you to listen to me.

810. You-you can wear the Valentino but not the Chanel.

811. No, that-that's too close to what Tracy's wearing.

812. And no dogs.

813. I'm serious.

814. Look, I got to go. Okay?

815. So...

816. Do you have good news for me?

817. We found Katricia.

818. Oh. Great.

819. You were right. She is very disgruntled.

820. In fact, she had a lot of

821. negative things to say about you.

822. Would you like to hear them?

823. As a matter of fact,

824. Ms. Tascioni—

825. Elsbeth— no.

826. No, I would not.

827. Oh. But you seemed so worried about her.

828. I just thought...

829. Why are you talking to someone

830. who left the show years ago?

831. Do you have any idea how this works?

832. Th-These women...

833. These silly women will do or-or say anything

834. to get in the spotlight, so, no,

835. I-I don't care what she says about me.

836. You were supposed to arrest Valencia,

837. who all the evidence points to,

838. and leave me alone,

839. because I have an alibi.

840. Or does that not matter anymore?

841. Oh, yes, it matters a lot.

842. I had a feeling it would.

843. So, maybe you can back off

844. because I've got a memorial to plan.

845. Wendy's memorial is gonna be on the show?

846. Isn't that in poor taste?

847. And there it is.

848. The eternal question.

849. Why don't you ask your friend here?

850. She gets pleasure from watching my show.

851. Do you think that

852. she had "bad taste"?

853. No. Not at all. No,

854. I don't, either.

855. I'm proud to have fans like her.

856. You might think it's trash,

857. but I've taken these privileged, spoiled, silly women

858. and turned them into a cultural phenomenon.

859. Why would I want to hurt any of them

860. after what we've built together?

861. You have no idea

862. how hard it is to make good TV, Ms. Tascioni.

863. And you never will.

864. I don't think I would want to be on this show.

865. Hmm. Me, neither.

866. We need to wrap this up so I can stop watching

867. this damn show. It's addictive.

868. How can this be legal?

869. Well, that's a whole nother question.

870. Donnelly? Where are you?

871. All the evidence points to Valencia, the housekeeper.

872. Paid intern. If you want to know what I think...

873. I know what you think.

874. There's something creepy about that guy.

875. See if you can break his alibi,

876. before I have to arrest

877. that poor housekeeper.

878. Paid intern.

879. Go.

880. You have no idea

881. how much it means to me

882. that you're all helping me raise awareness

883. for fructose intolerance.

884. Well, if Tracy decides to show, that is.

885. Ugh. This is so typical.

886. She swore she'd be here.

887. She will be, eventually.

888. Poor thing needs all the time she can get

889. to be camera ready.

890. You're bad!

891. Wait, that...

892. I cannot believe I am actually on time! Yay for me!

893. Wait.

894. Why does that sound familiar?

895. Oh. Oh!

896. Kaya. Kaya, wake up. Mm? What?

897. Wh-Wh-What? What happened? I know how he did it.

898. Skip Mason's alibi depends on the message

899. left on Wendy's phone.

900. That's right. Because how

901. could he have killed Wendy

902. and then left that message two minutes later,

903. with Tracy in the background, from a bar 20 minutes away?

904. Yeah, how did he do that?

905. He didn't.

906. Picture Skip

907. knocking the blender into the bathtub.

908. The lights go out, the generator comes on.

909. Thinking fast, Skip takes out both of his cell phones.

910. He uses one to leave a message for Wendy,

911. and the other one to play a clip

912. from the show, with Tracy's voice

913. saying she was on time.

914. We found it on season seven.

915. I cannot believe

916. I am actually on time! Yay for me!

917. He played it to make it sound like Tracy was there,

918. but she wasn't.

919. That's why there's no sound of cars

920. because he wasn't on the street.

921. And that humming noise that you hear in the background

922. is the generator.

923. My God, she's making sense.

924. I know.

925. Alibi planted, Skip then

926. washed and put away the wine glass

927. and the extra margarita glass,

928. getting glitter under his fingernails.

929. Skip then ran

930. to the bar to meet Tracy.

931. He knew she'd show up half an hour late,

932. she always does.

933. Skip then only pretended to leave

934. a message for Wendy at that point,

935. so Tracy would remember it,

936. so she would back up his alibi, which we now know is fake.

937. Ta-da.

938. It's a good theory.

939. Very good.

940. But it's still not enough. Ha!

941. Tracy could have said the exact same thing that night

942. that she said on the show.

943. I've watched enough to notice

944. that the women tend to repeat themselves.

945. Hadn't thought about that.

946. Mm-hmm.

947. But you do believe me, don't you?

948. Ah, ladies.

949. You all look stunning.

950. I still can't believe she's gone.

951. I know, but she is.

952. Oh, God. Okay.

953. We're just here to pay our respects.

954. Wendy was like a friend to me.

955. And, in truth, Mr. Mason,

956. we're closing in on the prime suspect.

957. Oh.

958. Oh, oh. I see.

959. Well,

960. took you long enough.

961. So sorry I bothered you.

962. I was just trying to find out the truth.

963. I understand, Elsbeth Tascioni.

964. Reality's my business.

965. Let's go!

966. Places, please!

967. Tracy?

968. Tracy.

969. Hello, again.

970. Oh, hi.

971. You know, I wanted to ask you,

972. are you absolutely sure

973. that you met Skip at 9:00 on the night that Wendy died?

974. Yes, I was only a couple of minutes late.

975. That's what Skip said.

976. I remember it so clearly.

977. Tracy!

978. Wendy.

979. What can I say about Wendy?

980. God, I loved that bitch.

981. I always knew she had my back.

982. Who's gonna have my back now?

983. I know if Wendy were here, she would say...

984. Katricia?

985. She looks great.

986. It's filler.

987. I know who killed Wendy.

988. He almost killed me, too.

989. Wh-What is she doing here? Who let her in?

990. This came in the mail today.

991. Wendy sent it before she died.

992. Take a look. You all know her handwriting.

993. Okay. Uh, we're gonna cut.

994. Um, Katricia and I need a mic off.

995. Her body looks great.

996. Ugh. I need to get back to Pilates.

997. Oh, wait, that reminds me.

998. I texted my Pilates instructor on my way to Skip that night.

999. Really? Can you show me?

1000. Where is it? Ow. You're hurting me.

1001. Where is it? I'm not, I'm not mic'd, Skip.

1002. Then what do you want?

1003. I want people to know the truth

1004. about what you did to me.

1005. What good is that gonna do?

1006. Oh, no. I know you.

1007. You want back in.

1008. Okay. Come back.

1009. You can take Wendy's place.

1010. I thought I was bad TV.

1011. Oh, you were,

1012. but this little stunt shows

1013. that you've changed.

1014. I like that.

1015. Well, what about Wendy?

1016. She wanted justice.

1017. Oh, please, Wendy was just using you to blackmail me.

1018. And look what happened to her.

1019. Don't make the same mistake, Katricia.

1020. Is that a threat?

1021. You tell me.

1022. You're not as ridiculous as the others.

1023. And the truth is, you've always my favorite.

1024. So, what's it gonna be?

1025. You're gonna end up like Wendy?

1026. Smart lady.

1027. Oh, my God.

1028. I texted my Pilates instructor at 9:24,

1029. so I must've been much later meeting Skip.

1030. Honey, you're always late.

1031. He knew you would be.

1032. So, that means...

1033. Katricia and I had a little talk,

1034. and we are all good.

1035. So...

1036. let's go again.

1037. Yes, hit it, Rudy.

1038. Don't make the same mistake, Katricia.

1039. Is that a threat?

1040. You tell me. Wait, I don't understand what's happening.

1041. You're not as ridiculous as the others.

1042. And the truth is... Okay, turn that off.

1043. you've always been my favorite.

1044. Rudy, stop. Turn it off.

1045. So, what's it gonna be?

1046. You're gonna end up like Wendy?

1047. Can you— turn that off?

1048. I-I don't, I don't know what's going on.

1049. Look inside.

1050. Surprise.

1051. Rudy, the sound guy, helped me set that up.

1052. Apparently, you're not that fun to work for.

1053. No, but th-this is Wendy's handwriting.

1054. She sent me a 20% off coupon for a blender.

1055. But I'm not getting one, those things are dangerous.

1056. Mm. Take him away.

1057. You knew right away, didn't you?

1058. I guess reality is my business, too.

1059. I'm gonna need a new show to watch.

1060. Can I say, "Cut?"

1061. Captioning sponsored by CBS

1062. and Toyota.