1. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP
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2. AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
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3. BRRRRRR, YEAH!
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4. DOES YOUR LIFE STINK
LIKE THIS GUY'S?
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5. NOT WITH THIS
THING-A-MA-JIG.
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6. STUPEFYING,
ISN'T IT?
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7. BUT THAT AIN'T ALL
THE THING-A-MA-JIG
CAN DO!
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8. THERE'S MORE?
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9. A LOT MORE.
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10. AVERAGE JOE?
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11. I HAVE NOWHERE TO SIT!
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12. NO PROBLEMO, JOE.
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13. THE THING-A-MA-JIG HERE
IS THE ONLY THING
YOU'LL EVER NEED!
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14. NO PROBLEMO!
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15. LIFE.
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16. ME
SO FAST, MISTER!
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17. WHAT'S THIS GONNA COST
US HARD-WORKING STIFFS?
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18. YEAH. I BET
IT COSTS A LOT!
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19. A TECHNO-MARVEL LIKE THIS COULD
COST YOU UP TO A MILLION BUCKS,
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20. BUT FOR THE NEXT 5 MINUTES,
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21. YOU CAN HAVE IT FOR ONE
EASY PAYMENT OF 25 CENTS!
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22. ROLF'S YAMS INFLATE
WITH GLEE AT THIS
THING-A-MA-JIG!
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23. LET'S GO
TRY IT, JIMMY.
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24. GEE WHILLIKERS, SARAH,
THIS THING-A-MA-JIG
ROCKS MY SOCKS!
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25. HMM.
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26. GENTLEMEN, I DISTINCTLY
REMEMBER ASSEMBLING
ONLY ONE THING-A-MA-JIG.
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27. HOW COULD WE SELL MORE
THAN ONE THING-A-MA-JIG
WHEN ONLY ONE EXISTS?
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28. EDDY,
HOW COULD YOU?
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29. YOU FALSELY SWINDLED
THOSE UNSUSPECTING CHILDREN
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30. OUT OF
THEIR ALLOWANCES!
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31. OH, I KNOW
THAT'S WHAT WE DO
IN EVERY SHOW,
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32. BUT NOT LIKE THIS.
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33. DOUBLE-DIPPING
WITHIN ONE DECEPTION
IS WRONG!
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34. LET'S GO BUY
SOME JAWBREAKERS.
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35. ARE YOU GOING
TO FINISH THAT?
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36. Ed: RUNNING!
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37. OH, LOOK UP
IN THE SKY!
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38. IS THAT A BIRD?
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39. Ed: COULD BE A PLANE!
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40. WHAT BIRD? DOES IT HAVE
A QUARTER IN ITS MOUTH?
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41. 'CAUSE IF I GET
MY HANDS ON IT, I'LL—
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42. OH, MY ACHING—
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43. HOLY COW!
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44. HEY, GET BACK HERE
WITH MY MONEY!
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45. ACORNS?
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46. Ed: DID YOU SEE THAT?
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47. HE JUST SWOOPED IN AND POW!
RIGHT IN YOUR KISSER, EDDY!
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48. I BET HE'S GOT, LIKE,
MUTANT POWER FEET
OR SOMETHING!
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49. HE STOLE MY CASH!
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50. I WONDER WHO THIS
MYSTERIOUS MARAUDER
COULD BE?
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51. IT SEEMS ODD
THAT HE'D APPEAR
OUT OF NOWHERE
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52. JUST IN
THE NICK OF TIME.
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53. OH, I KNOW
WHO IT IS!
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54. OK,
SO I DON'T KNOW.
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55. AWW!
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56. SARAH! SARAH!
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57. MY BOX HAS NO
THING-A-MA-JIG!
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58. MINE WAS FULL
OF BRICKS, JIMMY.
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59. I'VE BEEN FOIST
UPON, SARAH.
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60. WAAH!
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61. ROLF WILL TEACH THOSE
RIFFRAFF ED BOYS WITH
HIS FOOT UP THEIR—
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62. YOUR MONEY
IS SAFE AND SOUND,
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63. GOOD CITIZENS OF
THE CUL-DE-SAC.
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64. RIPOFFS ARE
A THING OF THE PAST,
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65. FOR I, CAPTAIN MELONHEAD,
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66. AND SPLINTER THE WONDERWOOD
WILL PROTECT YOU!
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67. IS THE CIRCUS
IN TOWN?
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68. THAT GUY SAVED
OUR MONEY!
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69. WHO WAS THAT
MASKED MARVEL?
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70. WHOMEVER IT WAS
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71. SEEMS TO HAVE
A COMPLEX
PERSONALITY.
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72. REALLY! ACORNS?
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73. WE GOTTA FIND THIS GUY
AND GET MY MONEY!
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74. SUCKERS!
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75. NO MORE
THE MR. SMART GUY,
HUH, ED BOYS?
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76. I BELIEVE
THIS BELONGS TO YOU.
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77. HEH HEH HEH!
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78. FREE! WE'RE FREE
AT LAST!
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79. THAT GUY GAVE THEM
BACK THEIR MONEY!
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80. Ed: OH, BOY!
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81. HE MUST BE SOME
COMIC BOOK HERO GUY!
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82. COMIC BOOKS?
REALLY, ED.
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83. WHAT WE HAVE HERE
IS A CAREFREE,
UPSTANDING YOUNG MAN
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84. WHO'S SIMPLY
TRYING TO DO
THE RIGHT THING.
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85. WHY, I APPLAUD HIS—
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86. OH, YEAH?
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87. THIS PLACE AIN'T
BIG ENOUGH FOR
THE TWO OF US.
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88. I WILL HAVE MY DAY,
SCAM WRECKER-UPPER!
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89. HOW
EMBARRASSING.
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90. OK, NOW, SAY IT.
DO IT! COME ON!
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91. AHEM. UM, I WOULD
LIKE TO PURCHASE
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92. ONE OF YOUR BUTTS,
IF I MAY.
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93. PLEASE TAKE MY
HARD-EARNED MONEY.
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94. YOU GOT IT, SUCKER—
I MEAN, CUSTOMER.
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95. HERE'S YOUR
BRAND-NEW BUTT!
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96. OH, HAPPY DAY!
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97. THANK YOU,
DISHONEST
STORE CLERK.
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98. I WILL GO AND USE
MY BUTT NOW.
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99. HEY, HOLD YOUR HORSES!
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100. THIS BUTT'S BEEN USED!
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101. HA HA! YOU'VE
BEEN FOOLED.
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102. I HAVE RIPPED OFF
THE INNOCENT
YET AGAIN!
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103. Keep an eye out, Ed.
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104. OH, BOY, OH, BOY,
OH, BOY,
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105. OH, BOY, OH, BOY—HUH?
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106. I SEE HIM, EDDY!
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107. RIGHT ON TIME.
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108. SHED A TEAR,
'CAUSE CAPTAIN
MELONHEAD IS HERE!
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109. WAH HA HA HA!
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110. HA HA HA!
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111. YOU'VE MET YOUR MATCH,
MELONHEAD.
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112. PREPARE YOURSELF FOR
PROFESSOR SCAM!
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113. HA HA HA!
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114. THE EVILDOER
HAS ARRIVED!
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115. HE'S LOST IT,
HONESTLY.
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116. UNHAND THAT MONEY,
PROFESSOR SCAM!
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117. NEVER. HI-YA!
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118. I WILL NOW MAKE MY ESCAPE
IN MY BAD-TO-THE-BONE,
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119. MEANER-THAN-A-JUNKYARD-DOG
PROFESSOR SCAM FLIER!
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120. HA HA HA!
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121. OOPS.
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122. OOH! OOH!
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123. IT'S MELON TIME!
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124. LOOK OUT FOR
THOSE FEET, EDDY!
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125. HA HA HA!
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126. YAAAAHHHH!
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127. OOF!
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128. OH, NO. DOUBLE D!
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129. PROFESSOR SCAM
HAS UNMASKED
CAPTAIN MELONHEAD!
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130. YOU'RE THROUGH,
MELONHEAD.
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131. REVEAL YOURSELF!
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132. THERE'S TWO HALVES
TO EVERY MELON,
PROFESSOR SCAM.
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133. THAT WAS CLEVER.
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134. OH, YEAH?
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135. WELL, MY RAY OF RICHES
WILL CURL YOUR TOES!
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136. THINK FAST, MELONHEAD.
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137. THE RAY OF RICHES
WILL NEVER PENETRATE
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138. THE FORCE PEEL
OF MELON.
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139. HAD ENOUGH,
MELONHE—
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140. UNH!
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141. AAH!
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142. OH! HUH?
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143. HI-YA!
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144. FREEZE, MELONHEAD,
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145. OR THE SIDEKICK
SWELLS UP
LIKE A BALLOON.
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146. SPLINTER!
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147. THIS IS BETWEEN
ME AND YOU,
PROFESSOR SCAM.
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148. GIVE ME AN EXCUSE.
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149. NO!
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150. WAIT! TAKE ME!
I'M THE ONE YOU WANT.
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151. I SURRENDER,
PROFESSOR SCAM.
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152. BUT, EDDY,
NOT MY GRAVY!
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153. SILENCE, HENCHMEN!
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154. OH, COME ON, EDDY.
HAVEN'T YOU MILKED
THIS ENOUGH?
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155. LOOK AT ME!
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156. WILL YOU GUYS JUST LAUGH
LIKE EVIL HENCHMEN,
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157. FOR PETE'S SAKE?
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158. TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT
YOUR TOMB OF DOOM,
MELONHEAD.
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159. HA HA HA HA!
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160. LOOK! OUR HERO DANGLES
LIKE VICTOR'S MILK SPOUTS!
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161. VICTOR'S GOT
MILK SPOUTS?
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162. YOUR GRAVY GRAVE
AWAITS!
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163. HE'S DEAD!
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164. MY GRAVY,
DOUBLE D!
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165. WHOA! OH!
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166. HA HA HA HA!
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167. Ed: RELEASE THE GRAVY!
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168. 'CAUSE I, AVERAGE JOE,
SAYS SO!
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169. ED!
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170. LEAVE A MARK,
MELON DUDE!
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171. I GIVE! I GIVE!
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172. OUCH! OWW! OUCH!
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173. MY GRAVY IS SAFE TO
FERMENT ANOTHER DAY,
DOUBLE D.
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174. THANK YOU FOR SHARING
THAT INFORMATION, ED.
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175. OH, YEAH?
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176. WELL, DON'T COUNT YOUR SEEDS
BEFORE THEY HATCH, MELONHEAD,
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177. FOR LIKE A BEAN BURRITO,
I SHALL RETURN!
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178. HENCHMEN,
TO THE SCAM FORTRESS!
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179. IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES
TILL SOMEONE GETS A SPLINTER.
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180. CITIZENS OF THE CUL-DE-SAC,
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181. PROFESSOR SCAM
WILL NO LONGER THREATEN
YOUR WEEKLY ALLOWANCES,
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182. AS I, CAPTAIN MELONHEAD,
AND SPLINTER THE WONDERWOOD
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183. WILL ALWAYS FIGHT FOR JUSTICE
AND THE—
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184. GIVE IT A REST,
JONNY.
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185. YEAH,
WE ALREADY HEARD IT.
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186. TOODLE-OO,
CAPTAIN MELONHEAD!
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187. WHAT A FINE HEAD
OF PRODUCE HE HAS, YES?
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188. BACK TO THE MELONCAVE,
WONDERWOOD.
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189. ANOTHER DAY—OW!--
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190. AND ANOTHER DOUGHNUT,
HUH, BUDDY?
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191. KEVIN LOOKS LIKE
HE'S READY TO
BUST AN ARTERY.
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192. HA HA HA!
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193. HAVE A SODA,
CURLY-LOCKS.
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194. WE'RE CELEBRATING!
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195. I DON'T WANT
ANY PART OF THIS.
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196. YOU'RE IN
BIG TROUBLE, EDDY!
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197. OLD SHOVELTON
CAN'T DO NOTHIN'.
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198. HE GOT GROUNDED
TODAY. HA HA HA!
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199. A TOAST
TO SHOVELTON!
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200. WITH LOTS OF BUTTER!
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201. AHH!
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202. A DAYTIME NAP
CAN INVIGORATE,
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203. BUT NOTHING IS
MORE GRATIFYING
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204. THAN A GOOD BOOK,
JIMMY.
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205. QUICK!
DOUBLE D!
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206. YOU'RE NEVER GONNA
BELIEVE THIS.
KEVIN GOT—
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207. RECYCLED BOOKS, EDDY!
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208. LOOK AT THIS PROFUSION
OF KNOWLEDGE!
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209. THE LIBRARY
WAS HAVING A SALE.
HOW COULD I RESIST?
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210. NOCTURNAL
BURROWING INSECTS...
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211. COOL!
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212. THE ENCHANTED SPLEEN...
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213. COMPELLING.
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214. SCORES OF SPORES...
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215. I CAN RELATE.
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216. 101 LATIN PARTY JOKES.
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217. Ed: DO TELL!
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218. ARGH!
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219. THE ENCYCLOPEDIA OF
OBSCURE DISEASES?
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220. THIS LOOKS EDIFYING.
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221. "THE LACKADAISY-CATHRO
DISEASE."
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222. LISTEN TO THIS, ED.
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223. "SYMPTOMS INCLUDE
THE RATIONALIZING OF
MUNDANE CIRCUMSTANCES,
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224. HABITUAL CLEANLINESS,
AND AN ABNORMAL FIXATION
TO HEADWEAR."
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225. THAT SOUNDS
RESEMBLING,
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226. 'CAUSE IT SOUNDS
LIKE, UH...
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227. IT SOUNDS
LIKE SOCKHEAD,
BONEHEAD!
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228. ME? REALLY?
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229. WHY, THAT'S JUST PLAIN SILLY.
HA HA HA!
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230. I'LL GIVE YOU RATIONALIZING,
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231. BUT HABITUAL
OR ABNORMAL FIXATION?
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232. PLEASE.
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233. DID YOU HEAR
WHAT I SAID?
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234. KEVIN'S STUCK
IN HIS ROOM.
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235. GROUNDED,
I TELL YA!
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236. QUICK!
HE'S HIDING!
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237. HA HA HA!
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238. AH, AH, AH.
YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED
TO BE OUTSIDE.
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239. YOU'VE BEEN GROUNDED!
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240. GRRRR!
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241. Ed's voice:
HELLO, KEVIN.
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242. WHY ARE YOU
SUCH A SAD SACK?
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243. 'CAUSE HE HAS
BEEN GROUNDED.
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244. OH, PARDON ME.
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245. I SHOULD BE IN
SHOW BUSINESS.
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246. EDDY, DO I MUMBLE
MY WORDS?
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247. HUH? YOU SAY
SOMETHING?
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248. QUIT MUMBLING AND
PUT THAT BOOK AWAY.
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249. "OTHER SYMPTOMS
INCLUDE WEAKNESS IN
THE LOWER EXTREMITIES."
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250. HUH?
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251. EDDY, I THINK I HAVE
LACKADAISY-CATHRO DISEASE!
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252. GIVE IT UP,
DOUBLE D.
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253. YOU'RE ABOUT
AS SICK AS ED IS.
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254. Ed: HELLO, I'M STINKY...
AND I'M CLEMMY!
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255. HA HA HA HA!
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256. BUT NOW THAT
YOU MENTION IT,
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257. YOU DO LOOK
KIND OF GREEN
AROUND THE GILLS.
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258. Ed: HE DOES?
WHAT A PITY.
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259. OH, I'M SO SICK.
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260. HEH HEH HEH!
LET ME SEE THIS THING.
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261. YEP, THIS IS YOU
ALL OVER, DOUBLE D.
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262. HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
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263. IT SAYS HERE
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264. THERE'S SOME TESTS
TO SEE HOW ADVANCED
IT IS.
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265. TESTS?
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266. OF COURSE, TESTS!
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267. MEDICAL SCIENCE
WILL PROVIDE THE ANSWER.
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268. PAGING DR. ED. DR. ED.
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269. ONE MOMENT, PLEASE.
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270. I WILL BE
RIGHT WITH YOU.
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271. I'M CONFUSED, EDDY.
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272. HOW IS ED QUALIFIED IN—
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273. SAY IT AIN'T SO,
DOUBLE D!
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274. CONFUSED?
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275. THAT'S A SYMPTOM OF THAT
LACKADAISY-CATHRO DISEASE!
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276. AAH!
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277. I'LL BE BACK.
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278. NICE SHORTS,
ROMEO.
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279. PLEASE,
REST YOUR BUTTOCKS.
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280. HA HA HA!
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281. HEY!
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282. HMM.
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283. AN EGGBEATER, ED?
IS THAT PART OF THE—
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284. WHAT IS IT?
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285. HMM.
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286. WHAT IS IT, ED?
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287. Ed: HMM.
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288. HUH?
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289. HMM. HOW LONG
HAVE YOU BEEN
A SIZE 2?
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290. SIZE 2?
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291. BUT I'VE ALWAYS WORN
A SIZE 5 SHOE, DOCTOR.
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292. SOUNDS LIKE
ANOTHER SYMPTOM TO ME.
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293. DID DR. ED GIVE YOU
THE RUBBER GLOVE
TREATMENT YET?
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294. OH, EDDY, THIS
LACKADAISY-CATHRO DISEASE
IS PROGRESSING RAPIDLY!
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295. I'M SO UNWELL.
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296. JEEZ LOUISE!
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297. HAS ANYBODY TRIED
TO KICK YOU YET?
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298. NO.
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299. GOOD, 'CAUSE THAT'S
THE FINAL SYMPTOM.
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300. YOU'RE IN THE CLEAR,
BUDDY BOY.
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301. WHY, I FEEL
BETTER ALREADY.
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302. THANK YOU,
DR. ED.
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303. OH, NO!
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304. I THOUGHT
YOU DIDN'T HAVE
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305. THAT LAST SYMPTOM,
DOUBLE D.
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306. YOU GOTTA
FIGHT THIS, MAN!
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307. DOCTOR, PLEASE,
DO SOMETHING.
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308. NEXT!
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309. WAIT!
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310. TELL ME THE TRUTH,
DOCTOR.
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311. HOW LONG AM I
FOR THIS WORLD?
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312. HUH?
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313. UM...
TILL LUNCH?
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314. HERE. QUICK, WRITE.
HURRY, DOUBLE D!
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315. A POEM ON THE BEAUTY
OF LIFE AS I KNOW IT?
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316. NO, YOUR WILL.
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317. LEAVE ME
SOMETHING NICE.
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318. Ed: OH! OH!
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319. AND I WILL TAKE
YOUR HAT,
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320. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
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321. OH, DOUBLE D,
I KNEW THEE WELL.
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322. HA HA HA!
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323. POOR DOUBLE D.
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324. DOUBLE D
AIN'T REALLY SICK,
LUMMOX, REMEMBER?
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325. THAT'S SOME GOOD TV
RIGHT THERE.
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326. NOW, BACK TO
OUR CAGED RAT.
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327. HEY, JUGHEAD!
OVER HERE!
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328. Ed: WHOA HO HO!
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329. I AM TURNING INTO
A WEREWOLF, EDDY!
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330. MY BELOVED PEER GROUP.
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331. EDD BOY, WHY DOES
YOUR FACE SAG LOWER THAN
NANA'S INNER THIGHS?
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332. COME! JOIN US FOR
BEACH MERRIMENT AND
EGGPLANT ANTIPASTO.
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333. DEAR ROLF,
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334. ALWAYS GIVING,
THOUGHTFUL...
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335. THAT'S WHY I WANT YOU
TO HAVE THIS.
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336. A PEANUT SMASHER?
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337. OH, ROLF,
YOU'RE SO UNEDUCATED.
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338. GLOOMY GUS
IS RIGHT, BUDDY.
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339. JONNY, IS THAT YOU?
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340. I'D LIKE TO
BEQUEATH TO YOU
MY REMOTE CONTROL.
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341. FAR OUT!
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342. DOUBLE D,
ARE YOU, LIKE,
GOING SOMEWHERE?
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343. NAZZ, NAZZ, NAZZ...
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344. SO MANY THINGS
LEFT UNSAID.
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345. REALLY?
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346. LIKE WHAT, DOUBLE D?
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347. WHAT'S HIS PROBLEM?
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348. THE SICKENING PANG OF
HOPE DEFERRED, SARAH.
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349. HEH HEH HEH!
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350. OH!
HEE HEE HEE!
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351. CURSE THIS DREADED
LACKADAISY-CATHRO DISEASE!
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352. DUDE, LOOKS LIKE
SOMEONE'S PLAYING
A JOKE ON YOU.
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353. DON'T SWEAT IT, OK?
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354. WHAT AN IDIOT!
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355. OH, THOSE—THOSE...
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356. RAPSCALLIONS!
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357. OK, NOW I'M MAD.
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358. ARE YOU PROUD
OF YOURSELVES?
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359. HANG ON THERE,
HAMLET.
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360. HA HA HA!
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361. TOO RICH, HUH,
DOUBLE D?
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362. LISTEN TO ME!
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363. HOW CAN WE NOT?
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364. THIS WAS FOUND
ON MY BODY!
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365. YOU HAD ME BELIEVE
I WAS EXPIRING!
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366. RAGE! AIN'T THAT
A SYMPTOM, DR. ED?
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367. I GOT OUT EARLY
FOR GOOD BEHAVIOR.
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368. KEVIN?
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369. HONEST, I TRIED
TO STOP HIM...
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370. BUT ED INSISTED
WE BUST
YOUR CHOPS.
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371. HE DID!
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372. SPONGE STAMPEDE!
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373. GET BACK HERE!
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374. OH, NO, ED!
I'M SO SCARED!
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375. I'M SHAKING
LIKE CHEESE!
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376. GRRRR!
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377. AHEM.
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378. OH, LOOK,
EDDY'S SPARE
HOUSE KEY.
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379. OOPS.
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380. HOW CARELESS OF ME.
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381. I SEEM TO HAVE
MISPLACED IT.
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382. NO!
NOT THE FACE, KEV!
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383. KEVIN'S JUSTIFIED
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384. SYMPTOMS ARE
BRUISING OF THE EYE
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385. FOLLOWED BY
A SORE REAR END
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386. AND A RAPID RELEASE
OF HOT AIR
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387. FROM AN INFLATED EGO.
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388. HA HA HA HA!
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389. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
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390. TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP
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391. AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
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392. CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
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393. CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
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394. —www.ncicap.org—
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395. BRRRRRR, YEAH!
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