1. What's cracking, y'all?
Your base tans are looking nice.Copy !req
2. I'm hoping to get there myself
this season.Copy !req
3. Mahalo, you fucking surfers.
You goddamn nerds. Heh.Copy !req
4. Tm just kidding.
We're all part of the tribe.Copy !req
5. How are the breaks looking?Copy !req
6. You got some lefts, some rights?
Spring rims? A-frarnes?Copy !req
7. It's dead, you sponger.Copy !req
8. Hell yeah, I'm a sponger.Copy !req
9. I'll fucking sponge this whole entire ocean
up with my big old dick. Ha-ha-ha.Copy !req
10. Damn it.Copy !req
11. Back on it.Copy !req
12. Whoa! Look at this one.Copy !req
13. Looks like K.P.'s
about to titty fuck this wave. Adios.Copy !req
14. Goddamn it.
What the hell was that all about?Copy !req
15. - You snaked my wave.
- Sorry about that, mister.Copy !req
16. - I didn't mean to out you off.
- You didn't mean to?Copy !req
17. How about this, huh?
I didn't mean to do this.Copy !req
18. You fucking watch what happens
if you're not a local.Copy !req
19. Locals only, you fucking grommet.
Stay off my beach.Copy !req
20. Ron Stark leaves
Kenny Powers an absolute mess hereCopy !req
21. Big Kenny takes the mound
trying to save the game.Copy !req
22. Bases loaded, a full count,
and Guy Nelson at the plate.Copy !req
23. It's an absolute pressure cooker
situation for La Flarna Blanca.Copy !req
24. - Come on, Kenny P.
- Go, Kenny.Copy !req
25. - Let's go Kenny.
- Come on, Kenny.Copy !req
26. Whoo-hoo.
Out!Copy !req
27. And that's the game, folks.Copy !req
28. Kenny Powers once again racks
up another save for the Mermen...Copy !req
29. in his amazing run here
in Myrtle Beach.Copy !req
30. - Oh, yeah.
- Look at y'all jumping around...Copy !req
31. like a bunch of child molesters
Tn Chuck E. Cheese.Copy !req
32. Damn, you throw your shit out?Copy !req
33. N-word, please.
These shoulders get tired...Copy !req
34. "from carrying the weight
of this whole team.Copy !req
35. Hit me with your lotion.
My skin gets ashy too.Copy !req
36. - White people don't get ashy.
- Stop being racist.Copy !req
37. I'm sick of those comments, dog.
Skin is skin. Just ask Jack.Copy !req
38. Wish you'd say my name right, Kenny.
My name is Jacques. It's a soft J.Copy !req
39. You want people to say your name gay,
Why don't you go to France? Pfft.Copy !req
40. Boo-yah, Shane. You always
enter situations in a big way, man.Copy !req
41. - You know it.
- You burn that fucking monkey.Copy !req
42. - Not you, Darnell.
- Shane and Powers...Copy !req
43. dream team
Tn the motherfucking house, huh?Copy !req
44. Yeah, Darnell, you don't have
a friend you can do this with.Copy !req
45. I'm talking about, right?
Like our fingers were dicks.Copy !req
46. And these things were pussies.Copy !req
47. These dudes are jealous they don't
have sense of humors like we do.Copy !req
48. - Good moves out there today.
- Good moves yourself.Copy !req
49. - You kidding? You pitch, I catch.
- I bet you do.Copy !req
50. - Yeah, right. You wish, Darnell.
- Gay jokes are faux pas, player.Copy !req
51. You gotta update your material.Copy !req
52. - That's right. You so black...
- Go on. Finish it.Copy !req
53. That's a fucked up situation,
being all black.Copy !req
54. - What you got?
- It's gotta be not fun.Copy !req
55. Except for the dancing
and the big dick rumors...Copy !req
56. wand, like, being good at sports,
and all that other positive shit.Copy !req
57. The rest of it fucking sucks.Copy !req
58. Yeah. Finish strong. Hell yeah.Copy !req
59. They're jealous because
you're going to the top.Copy !req
60. - That's what's happening, Kenny.
- Paparaz, motherfucker.Copy !req
61. I heard Texas had a full bullpen.Copy !req
62. - Hey.
- Put a dick in your mouth and shut up.Copy !req
63. Don't be a contrary cunt
because me and Shane Dog...Copy !req
64. two young bloods,
are running this town...Copy !req
65. "owning this team,
and chasing our goddamn dreams.Copy !req
66. What's the matter?
Can't hear the words I'm saying?Copy !req
67. - Listen to my cock.
- All right.Copy !req
68. Boom. Knuckle ball. Pow. Boom, boom.Copy !req
69. Top Gun, bitch.Copy !req
70. That's what that was.
You just entered the danger zone.Copy !req
71. What do you say we go celebrate
in the comfort of our hot \adies?Copy !req
72. No diggity no doubt.
Who going to drive?Copy !req
73. - How about we both drive?
- I love that shit.Copy !req
74. Goddamn. Look at us, huh?Copy !req
75. T-minus five seconds
from getting jerked and worked...Copy !req
76. - ... by two smoking fucking hotties.
- Whoo.Copy !req
77. Never saw myself
as a one-woman kind of guy.Copy !req
78. - That's what true love wiH do to a man.
- It'll do it.Copy !req
79. Oh. Look away. Let's pretend
like they don't— We don't see them.Copy !req
80. - Oh, there you are.
- Hey, lookie here.Copy !req
81. Whoo! There we go. Hitting it, huh?Copy !req
82. Right? Let's go. Come on.Copy !req
83. Race you to the beach. Here we go.Copy !req
84. Look at those two crazy kids.Copy !req
85. Running around like fucking
freed slaves, huh? Heh.Copy !req
86. - Hey, I got something for you.
- What do you have for me?Copy !req
87. Something pretty bad-ass.Copy !req
88. Check this shit.
I been working on it nonstop.Copy !req
89. Part three of my life saga collection.Copy !req
90. When I get back to the majors,
it's gonna be a humongous piece.Copy !req
91. People are gonna be damoring
for the story.Copy !req
92. I'm not gonna wanna sit around writing
so I did myself a favor...Copy !req
93. and I pre-wrote the bitch.Copy !req
94. - Do you understand about publishing?
- I understand.Copy !req
95. - You do?
- Yes.Copy !req
96. PubHshing is how they make books.Copy !req
97. And before they give it
to a wide audience...Copy !req
98. they gotta make
a bunch of copies of it;.Copy !req
99. - That's a good idea.
- It's pretty awesome, isn't it?Copy !req
100. I want to do It in the dunes today.Copy !req
101. I'll be able to break you o*ff'aj bit,
I'll slap it...Copy !req
102. but not gonna have time
to flip it and rub it down.Copy !req
103. I'm not sure if both of us
are going to come.Copy !req
104. - What the fuck? You promised.
- Yeah, I know. I'm pissed too.Copy !req
105. I have some last minute shit
I gotta attend to.Copy !req
106. Why don't you get that beautiful pussy
out of them tight jean shorts?Copy !req
107. Is she jerking him off'?Copy !req
108. Chapter One, the new beginning
of the book.Copy !req
109. There have been many great comebacks
throughout history.Copy !req
110. Jesus died, but came back
as a Gad zombie.Copy !req
111. Ryan O'Neal had his ups and downs,
but is now back and better than ever.Copy !req
112. Well, my comeback is almost complete,
and when it is...Copy !req
113. it will shake the pillars
of this land or town.Copy !req
114. My story is the story
of a raging Christ figure...Copy !req
115. who tore himself off the cross
and looked at the Romans...Copy !req
116. with blood in his eyes and said,
"My turn now, Cocksuckers. "Copy !req
117. - What's up?
- Hello.Copy !req
118. It's medicinal. But not for AIDS.Copy !req
119. H93'-Copy !req
120. Somebody order a stripper?Copy !req
121. - Oh, shit.
- Oh, look at my dick.Copy !req
122. - Kenny.
- I'm just kidding. It's a fake dick.Copy !req
123. Clearly. Where have you been?Copy !req
124. You were supposed to be here.
You were gonna help.Copy !req
125. Well, I got hung up.Copy !req
126. Okay. Well, you missed
the cutting of the cake.Copy !req
127. I already ate.
Stopped at a steakhouse on the way.Copy !req
128. Had desserts, appetizers,
the whole deal. I'm stuffed as hell.Copy !req
129. Good for you.Copy !req
130. Got this for the kid, a luxury present.Copy !req
131. Don't you want to give it to him yourself?Copy !req
132. You could probab\y just give it to him.
He's 1 year old.Copy !req
133. Does he even know
what planet he's on? Heh.Copy !req
134. Just what I need. There's just
another thing that I have got to do.Copy !req
135. Kenny. No.Copy !req
136. - No.
- Not trying to be doing it Tn a sexual way.Copy !req
137. I'm just trying to comfort you.
You seem all stressed out.Copy !req
138. Postpartum-y and afterbirth-y.
Just trying to make you cool.Copy !req
139. You know what?
This is Toby's day, Kenny.Copy !req
140. This day is for Toby.Copy !req
141. Uh, duh. I know that. You're the one
making it about yourself.Copy !req
142. I'm gonna take a lap.Copy !req
143. Give the hometown fans
something to fucking gawk at.Copy !req
144. I'll see you around.Copy !req
145. And now, the world-famous
floating girl magic trick.Copy !req
146. And then the first pillow,
and then the last one.Copy !req
147. She's floating, everyone.Copy !req
148. Give her another hand.
You're going to help out.Copy !req
149. Hi.Copy !req
150. We can see you. Come on over.Copy !req
151. Check out these balloons.Copy !req
152. - Kenny, come over, now.
- Kenny, come over. Come on.Copy !req
153. Jesus Christ.Copy !req
154. Ah. Look who's here.Copy !req
155. - Hey, what's up, Dustin's family?
- What's up, brother?Copy !req
156. - Not much.
- Look who I have here, huh?Copy !req
157. - The birthday boy.
- Yeah, I see him.Copy !req
158. What's up, Ben & Jerry's?
Criss Angel?Copy !req
159. Toby, you wanna say hey
to your daddy? Huh?Copy !req
160. I'm good here. I'm just—
Got a good eye line on the sorcery show.Copy !req
161. - Kenny, you wanna take the baby?
- No, no, said I'm good.Copy !req
162. It's okay. Come on. Take the baby.Copy !req
163. Take the baby. Come on.Copy !req
164. He wants his daddy. Take the baby.Copy !req
165. - Take the baby.
- Nope, I'm okay.Copy !req
166. - He's cool. He's cool.
- Yeah, you want your daddy.Copy !req
167. Put your arms around him.
He's slipping.Copy !req
168. Put your arms around.
Kenny, take the baby.Copy !req
169. - Hi, baby.
- Hi, precious.Copy !req
170. Well, I see Kenny came.Copy !req
171. Yeah.Copy !req
172. I don't even know why he bothered.Copy !req
173. Well, you know, he's trying
in his own Way, right?Copy !req
174. I mean, at least he made it.Copy !req
175. What's that expression?Copy !req
176. Eighty percent of success
is just showing up?Copy !req
177. Mm. Yeah, and the other missing 20 is,
you know, paying chiid support...Copy !req
178. being a good daddy,
not fucking anything with two tits.Copy !req
179. I thought he was, you know,
gonna change.Copy !req
180. I had real high hopes.
But same old shit really.Copy !req
181. - Go.
- Mom.Copy !req
182. - Cassie, can I ask you something?
- Course.Copy !req
183. - Do you ever regret it?
- What?Copy !req
184. Having kids?Copy !req
185. No.Copy !req
186. - Oh, my God, no.
- Right. Course. Just curious.Copy !req
187. Look at this.Copy !req
188. Cassie, thank you so much.Copy !req
189. - You're welcome.
- See, that's a nice gift.Copy !req
190. Yo, Jamie. What's up, dog?Copy !req
191. Kenny. You don't—Copy !req
192. You don't—
You don't have to do that.Copy !req
193. How's fucking work going, dog?Copy !req
194. Markefs down,
but we're hanging on, you know?Copy !req
195. Closing a few.Copy !req
196. Mergers and acquisitions. I hear you.Copy !req
197. How's old big cannons doing?Copy !req
198. Well, she seems
a little stressed, you know.Copy !req
199. Like trying to balance
the baby and work.Copy !req
200. I'm kind of worried, you know?
Because she's—Copy !req
201. I don't give a shit about that.
Give me the inside hookup.Copy !req
202. She seeing anybody?Copy !req
203. She doesn't have time
for anything except Toby.Copy !req
204. Cool. So she's not, like,
fucking any other dudes, no booty caHs...Copy !req
205. no friends with bennies,
backyard brothers? Heh.Copy !req
206. I don't think so.Copy !req
207. Cool. Well, keep an eye out, man.
You know, hos be creeping.Copy !req
208. From your dad. Kenny,
you wanna corne help Toby open"?Copy !req
209. - Open his gift?
- No, you're the center of attention.Copy !req
210. You got it.
Just fucking handle your stuff. Heh.Copy !req
211. Okay.Copy !req
212. Let's see what it is.Copy !req
213. Well, look at that.Copy !req
214. Mm-hrn.
- That is, Toby...Copy !req
215. a Sony.Copy !req
216. Sony's a Japanese corporation, April.Copy !req
217. It's a PS3. It's a PlayStation.Copy !req
218. What an appropriate gift
for a baby.Copy !req
219. Yeah, it is an appropriate gift
for the baby.Copy !req
220. It does Blu-rays,
which are in high definition.Copy !req
221. It's better for his eyes
to take upon the movies.Copy !req
222. So perfect. Because he's 1.Copy !req
223. Oh, trust me. I know.
Fucking longest year of rny life.Copy !req
224. I'm fucking wasted. Ha-ha-ha.Copy !req
225. - Well, thank you, Kenny.
- Yeah. WeH, you're goddamn welcome.Copy !req
226. I know that it's a little awkward
and strained here...Copy !req
227. at the birthday celebrations.Copy !req
228. It's a little weird because
AprH and I aren't together.Copy !req
229. I know a lot of people
are probably whispering...Copy !req
230. how fucked up it is that Toby
comes from a broken home.Copy !req
231. I tried to make it work. I didn't fuck
anybody for three months. But Whatever.Copy !req
232. April kind of does what she wants to do.Copy !req
233. I also didn't wanna
name the baby Toby...Copy !req
234. "because that's a racist name.
Am I correct?Copy !req
235. You know,
you don't need to go into any of this.Copy !req
236. No, let me finish, all right?
Toby is what the slave masters in Roots...Copy !req
237. rnade Kunta Kinte be; called;.Copy !req
238. I wanted to call the baby Neil,
but that was also not listened to.Copy !req
239. So there's that.Copy !req
240. The good news is that because April
has never given this famiiy a chance...Copy !req
241. to really exist in the first place...Copy !req
242. Toby has no point of reference
for what a real family is.Copy !req
243. So no damage to my son.
My son is totally cool, y'all.Copy !req
244. So raise your glasses.Copy !req
245. As they say in Mexico,
feliz cumpleafios.Copy !req
246. To fucking Toby.Copy !req
247. Not to fucking him.
To, like, he's cool. To fucking Toby.Copy !req
248. Okay. Maybe do the next one?Copy !req
249. Whoo! One year old. Ha.Copy !req
250. Oh, fuck me.Copy !req
251. You end up
tugging and adjusting all day long.Copy !req
252. There's Cami Secret, the new
fashion accessory that looks. ..Copy !req
253. Just like a tank top.Copy !req
254. Watch closely,
because here's the real secret.Copy !req
255. - It's designed.”
- Fucking dumb.Copy !req
256. "Right to your bra straps.Copy !req
257. What are you doing here?Copy !req
258. Um...Copy !req
259. I don't know.Copy !req
260. I'm not sure what I'm doing here.Copy !req
261. I'm glad you came.
I wanted to call you and just...Copy !req
262. apologize for my behavior
at the birthday party.Copy !req
263. I know Toby didn't appreciate it.
It wasn't anything personal, Toby.Copy !req
264. I get weird around crowds
these days...Copy !req
265. "because I'm a celebrity
and a star player.Copy !req
266. All that kind of trappings of fame stuff.Copy !req
267. - Sorry.
- We don't really need to talk about it.Copy !req
268. I don't wanna talk about it.Copy !req
269. Or, yeah, we can just not talk about it too.
Just call it a wash. We're even. That's fine.Copy !req
270. Would you just take him?
I need to go to the bathroom.Copy !req
271. - To hold him?
- Yeah. Thank you.Copy !req
272. Okay, Toby, here we go, bud.Copy !req
273. We're gonna put you
on the big people's furniture.Copy !req
274. Try not to shit all over it, okay?Copy !req
275. Hello, uh, young boy.
How have you been?Copy !req
276. April, we're kind of running out of shit
to say to each other in here.Copy !req
277. Conversation's getting a little awkward.
How we doing back there?Copy !req
278. Kenny, we're gonna need to get going.
80...Copy !req
279. - Are you crying?
- No. No, I'm just—Copy !req
280. I'm just tired.Copy !req
281. Yeah, I was gonna say something
about you being tired...Copy !req
282. "because you have been looking
worn down lately.Copy !req
283. No offense. I mean, you still look good,
but baggage under the eyes.Copy !req
284. You know what I think you need?Copy !req
285. I think I should call a fucking sitter.Copy !req
286. And then you and I go out
for a bomb-ass evening...Copy !req
287. in Myrtle Fucking Beach, proper,
fucking awesome style.Copy !req
288. I think it would do you and I both
some good...Copy !req
289. to get out and have some fun
without the baby pulling us down for once.Copy !req
290. I'm getting all tongue-tied here.Copy !req
291. Basically, I think It's high time
you set that pussy free.Copy !req
292. Set it free.Copy !req
293. Set the pussy free.Copy !req
294. This gorgeous sunset
is rocking my nuts off.Copy !req
295. It's so weird. I haven't" I haven't been
out like this at night in like a year.Copy !req
296. - I try to live free like this every day.
- I know.Copy !req
297. It's a beautiful sunset, Kenny.Copy !req
298. Well, I just wanted to show you
what Myrtle Beach has to offer.Copy !req
299. Drink, drink, drink!Copy !req
300. Looks like somebody's
having a real good time.Copy !req
301. Yeah. Not a good as time
as we're having though.Copy !req
302. I'm out of been
Let's go get another, shall we?Copy !req
303. - Okay.
- Let's do it.Copy !req
304. - Ladies first.
- Thank you.Copy !req
305. Oh, shit. We're pulling into port soon.
They're going to out the open bar off...Copy !req
306. - ... and we need to get shitfaced.
- You know, I'm good.Copy !req
307. I think we just need to get back,
because I don't even know the sitter.Copy !req
308. All right, first of all, I know Shane.Copy !req
309. He's fucking aces.
I'd trust him with 10 babies...Copy !req
310. let alone one that just sits
there and does nothing.Copy !req
311. - Okay? We're in good hands.
- Okay.Copy !req
312. You just need to kick back
and enjoy yourself for once.Copy !req
313. - Is that what I need?
- Yes. I remember a girl...Copy !req
314. who used to drink whiskey
and smoke joints in 10th grade...Copy !req
315. and come watch me play baseball.
Okay? Have some fun.Copy !req
316. All right.Copy !req
317. - You're in Myrtle Fucking Beach.
- Holy shit.Copy !req
318. - Take it.
- Kenny.Copy !req
319. - Just take it, take it.
- Shit.Copy !req
320. Whoo! All right. Tick, tick, boom.Copy !req
321. - Whoo! Heads up.
- Ha-ha-ha.Copy !req
322. Look out.Copy !req
323. Look at that. Hold your dicks for a minute.
We'll be done herein a second.Copy !req
324. Stay where you at.
We wanna play through.Copy !req
325. Well, that's mighty white of you,
but putt-putt etiquette says...Copy !req
326. you gotta wait till we finish shooting.Copy !req
327. You been holding us
up for the last hour.Copy !req
328. We're gonna play through. I advise
you just get the heH out of the way.Copy !req
329. - Should I go ahead and shoot?“
- Go ahead, Jimmy;.Copy !req
330. No, don't go ahead,
Why don't you pick up: that; ball...Copy !req
331. and slide it right up
your dad's butthole.Copy !req
332. - Hey, don't cuss at my kid.
- Butthole. Butthole. Butthole.Copy !req
333. - Jimmy, take the shot, son.
- No, Jimmy. Don't take the shot.Copy !req
334. Take the shot.Copy !req
335. Your dad is making you look like
a fucking idiot. Don't take the shot.Copy !req
336. - Take It, Jimmy.
- Jimithon.Copy !req
337. - Kenny, stop.
- Take the shot, Jimmy.Copy !req
338. Take the damn shot, Jimmy.Copy !req
339. - What them?
- Nice shot, Jimmy.Copy !req
340. - You shanked that one.
- How about I rip your nuts off...Copy !req
341. and throw them where you just threw
my kid's baH, you asshole?Copy !req
342. That's a clunky threat,
don't you think, bubba?Copy !req
343. Okay, wait. I'm sure that we don't wanna
set this kind of example...Copy !req
344. in front of your kid.Copy !req
345. - And what would you know about that?
- Oh, we're parents.Copy !req
346. Yeah, and I'm a mother.Copy !req
347. - 80...
- Well, as a mother...Copy !req
348. I'd think you would not wanna be drunk
at the putt-putt in front of kids.Copy !req
349. I feel sorry for your child.Copy !req
350. Mom!Copy !req
351. - Get off her, you crazy bitch.
- Oh!Copy !req
352. Come on, come on. Hey, goddamn.Copy !req
353. Hey, hey, hey. Go, go. Cops.Copy !req
354. You guys are fucking rednecks.Copy !req
355. This is your fault, Jimmy;
you little fucker.Copy !req
356. Whoo!Copy !req
357. Yeah! Oh!Copy !req
358. - Goddamn, you just gave me whiplash.
- Hey, no ramming.Copy !req
359. So, what, you guys on vacation?Copy !req
360. I fucking run this town.Copy !req
361. Kenny, over here.Copy !req
362. - Hey, we're parents. Suck our dicks.
- Suck our dicks.Copy !req
363. Fuck yeah.Copy !req
364. Who said that hit movies
can't be smart?Copy !req
365. The only reason he was there is because
she was fucking him the whole time.Copy !req
366. - What up, dog?
- Hi, how you doing, Kenny?Copy !req
367. - What's going on, Andrea?
- April.Copy !req
368. - April.
- Who's Andrea?Copy !req
369. Nothing. This fucking dude's wasted.Copy !req
370. Ha-ha, 0h. Where's Toby?
I'm gonna go check on Toby.Copy !req
371. Toby's-— Should be back in the dojo
unless he learned how to walk and left.Copy !req
372. You've got a fucking dojo?Copy !req
373. Of course I do.
Don't mess with my swords.Copy !req
374. - How're things going with April?
- Maybe this will answer your inquiry.Copy !req
375. Oh, shit. Look at that.Copy !req
376. Y'a\I got an airbrushed T-shirt
of some kid with Down syndrome...Copy !req
377. - ... and a black girl with your names on it.
- No, fucker. This is me.Copy !req
378. - You're fucking on fire tonight.
- You know why?Copy !req
379. - Pills.
- I need you to get the fuck out of here...Copy !req
380. so I can finish off
this climactic evening.Copy !req
381. Well, hey, I wanna know
all the dirty details tomorrow.Copy !req
382. If you get any cell phone snaps,
send them my way.Copy !req
383. JPEGS are good for jerking off.
We always miss that bottom level.Copy !req
384. - Copy that, Goose.
- AH right. Goose?Copy !req
385. Bullshit. You're Goose.
Hell no. I'm Maverick.Copy !req
386. I don't think so.
I'm fucking Tom Cruise.Copy !req
387. - You're Goose.
- No, no, no. Because Goose had a family.Copy !req
388. Maverick rolled solo. Pimp.Copy !req
389. Whatever. Get the fuck out of here.Copy !req
390. Who do you think he looks more like?Copy !req
391. I don't know, April. I'm fucking wasted.Copy !req
392. Just look at him.Copy !req
393. He looks like the dude from The Shield.
Chiklis.Copy !req
394. You asshole.Copy !req
395. I know we're both drunk,
but I'm just gonna go ahead and say it.Copy !req
396. I've been lost without you.Copy !req
397. I'm really glad you came here.Copy !req
398. April?Copy !req
399. Hmm.Copy !req
400. "Sorry, Kenny, I'm not myself.
Last night only proved it. Be in touch."Copy !req
401. What fuck kind of shit is this?Copy !req
402. Fuck me.Copy !req