1. I lost everything.
I lost my... My job...
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2. my friends, my... My future.
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3. But I don't know.
In that loss, you know, I feel like I've...
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4. I've found something.
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5. I mean, I found this group.
I found all you guys.
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6. That's right.
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7. For the first time in a long while...
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8. I can 100 percent
motherfucking honestly say...
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9. I feel good.
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10. There you are.
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11. - Hey, man.
- Hey.
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12. So I just heard the news.
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13. Sounds like you're ready to move on.
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14. I think I am.
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15. - You know what's next, don't you?
- Yeah.
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16. - Ninth step.
- Make amends.
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17. That's right.
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18. Take that list you made
of people you've wronged.
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19. Start at the top, the person
you fucked over the most.
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20. Andrew, seriously...
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21. there's no way I would have made it
the last six months without you.
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22. So it's actually convenient
that you're here with me now.
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23. Wanna ask your sponsor
one more question?
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24. - No.
- Go ahead.
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25. No, I meant actually it's convenient
because you're at the top of my list.
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26. I'm at the top?
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27. I fucked Linda.
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28. Oh, okay, you fucked my sister.
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29. The... No.
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30. Your...? Isn't your wife's name Linda?
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31. You fucked my wife?
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32. I did but I thought her name
was Linda. Isn't it Linda?
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33. It's Beth.
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34. Beth, right.
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35. Right, no, yeah, Linda was your sister.
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36. - She watched.
- Watched?
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37. Yeah. It's crazy.
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38. But I'm sorry about that
and I hope we can make amends.
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39. This is clean-and-sobes full force
because I feel like I'm on a new drug.
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40. Just get the fuck out of here.
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41. Well, as long as we're square...
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42. I feel like it's time to move on down
to number two, you know what I mean?
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43. Looks like my next stop is Mexico.
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44. Go fuck yourself, Pat.
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45. Stevie, our time here in Mexico
has come to an end.
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46. We can't hide in this wasteland
forever chasing exotic women.
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47. It's time we get back
to the business of living.
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48. Face what awaits us back in America.
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49. Okay, I'll make sure everything
is packed properly, Kenny.
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50. And, you know, if you wanna bang
that were-woman one more time...
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51. for the memories, I will allow it.
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52. Are you serious, Kenny?
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53. As a heart attack, hombre.
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54. Can I fuck her more than once
or just once?
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55. Don't lay in her all goddamn day.
You got some packing to do.
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56. Let's just think outside the box
for a sec, brainstorm.
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57. Let's make it memorable.
If it's only one time, let's do it up.
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58. - Okay.
- Maybe you go down on her, dude.
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59. Don't be selfish, don't be a sexist.
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60. You don't like that?
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61. - Why not?
- It smells.
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62. Oh, I... Yeah, I bet it does.
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63. She's always eating all that
weird stew and roots and shit.
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64. - What about ATM?
- I would stay away from ass-to-mouth.
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65. You don't know what'll affect
her immune system.
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66. They have different bacterias
and biological things here.
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67. It's just for safety.
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68. - Safety, okay, okay.
- Yeah.
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69. Don't sit there like a dingleberry.
Get to it.
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70. - Okay.
- Go get her, man.
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71. - Okay.
- Go.
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72. Ben Wa balls.
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73. Guess who's sober.
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74. Pat Anderson, what in the fuck
are you doing here?
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75. I wrapped up treatment,
accepted a higher power...
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76. and now I'm here to knock out
that ninth step and make amends.
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77. Why do people think
because we're in Mexico...
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78. it's cool to come into somebody's house
and wait for them?
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79. I'm gonna cut to it, Kenny.
No bullshit, all truth.
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80. I butt-fucked you hard.
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81. But as a gentleman I've learned
to clean up my mess.
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82. Check out that sweet-ass gift basket.
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83. What, you think a mineral bath soak
is gonna pay for all the shit you did to me?
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84. - There's an iPad in there, Kenny.
- Mm. Really?
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85. Doesn't matter.
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86. It's gonna take more than a Speak & Spell
to win yourself into my good graces.
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87. Oh, yeah? How about a shot at the majors?
Would that do the trick?
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88. Yeah, right.
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89. Like I'm gonna fall for one of your
eight-figure contract deals again.
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90. There's no contract, not yet.
It's just a shot.
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91. But I heard about you playing
baseball down here.
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92. There's a scout in Texas who owes me
a favor from my party days...
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93. and he agreed to come down here
and sniff you out.
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94. I've been paying attention to what
you've been doing...
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95. and if you play half as well
as you have been...
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96. I think you've got a legitimate shot.
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97. Your friend's wasting his time.
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98. I don't play for the team anymore.
They cut me.
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99. Look, you got every reason
in the world not to trust me.
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100. But this could be
a game changer, Kenny.
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101. Is there anyone you could talk to
about getting back on that team?
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102. Well, there is one motherfucker.
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103. Kumite.
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104. Ah!
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105. What the fuck are you doing here?
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106. Why is your voice raised
like a scared bitch?
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107. I am not scared.
If anybody should be scared it's you.
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108. For stealing my car and smashing up
my studio, all because I fucked your lady.
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109. You think that's cool?
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110. Do you know what is cool?
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111. Paying people back.
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112. You pull that Bruce Lee shit with me,
I'll steal that sword and fuck you with it.
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113. No, don't write checks
that can bounce.
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114. - My spreadsheets!
- Back up!
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115. I'll take this goddamn computers
and put it through your face...
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116. like a disk of fucking Tron.
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117. I'll deflect it and cut your arms off, then
cut your face before you know what's up.
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118. Well, look at this, huh?
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119. A goddamned Mexican standoff
in fucking Mexico.
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120. I was hoping to get into one of these
before I left.
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121. You are leaving, huh? You wanted to
come here first and try to kill me?
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122. Not kill you. Kick your ass
and then ask for a favor.
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123. Even though Vida's not the one,
you still went behind my back...
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124. and encouraged her to cheat on me.
- Pfft!
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125. - Pfft.
- Pfft.
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126. - Pfft.
- Bro, I can't even get her to call me back.
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127. Which sucks because I thought
we had something special.
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128. Yeah, well, I thought we had
something special too.
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129. Looks like that's her
fucking game, huh?
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130. I'm sorry, man.
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131. I haven't been acting like myself.
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132. It's been really hard to act normal.
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133. I've been acting weird as shit, bro.
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134. I act like it's no big deal
that my parents are dead...
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135. but it is a big deal. It hurts my heart.
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136. I cry all the time in my bed by myself.
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137. I know what you're talking about.
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138. I used to be just like you yesterday.
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139. Sad inside and compensating
by acting like a fucking cocksucker.
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140. But I saw the light, dude. I've changed.
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141. I want to see the light.
How did you do it?
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142. Well, I went on a personal quest
and faced my demons...
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143. but for you the change
could be a lot easier.
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144. - Tell me.
- Let me back on the team.
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145. For one more game.
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146. There's a scout coming...
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147. and I intend to fuck his world up
with my skills.
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148. Hmm.
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149. Or we could finish this duel
and murder each other.
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150. No, I can live with, like, a truce.
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151. If you want to play, you can play.
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152. - I'm sorry, man.
- Come here.
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153. If I can fucking nail
this baseball shit tonight...
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154. I'm going back to America
a goddamn champion.
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155. Fucking three days away from
sucking on some big old titties.
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156. Are those my clothes?
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157. These are your pants and shorts.
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158. Your tops we leave on hangers
so they don't get wrinkled.
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159. Dude, don't get all OCD about this shit.
Just get it done.
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160. Kenny, I was wondering...
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161. what is your policy
on last-minute passengers?
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162. What last-minute passengers?
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163. Wah-wah.
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164. "Wah-wah" what?
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165. I know technically I should be
asking Maria's father this...
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166. but in many ways I feel like you are
the father to all the Mexicans here...
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167. plus you are my spiritual leader,
you are my friend, you are...
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168. - Dude, just... Jesus Christ, spill it. What?
- Okay.
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169. I would like to ask you, Kenny Powers...
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170. permission to marry Maria
and bring her back to America with us.
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171. - Marry her?
- Yeah.
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172. Dude, I only told you
you could fuck her one time.
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173. Technically, you guys are not
even supposed to be dating.
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174. Yeah, I know. I know.
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175. But I can't help myself.
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176. It's like all I think about is her
and I don't know what to do about it.
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177. Yeah, I know the feeling.
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178. Stevie, marriage is
a pretty big step, all right?
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179. I mean, do you have any sort of plan
of how you'll provide for her financially?
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180. I have no plan whatsoever.
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181. And you do realize if you had offspring
they would be mixed children?
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182. They could be made fun of
on the playground.
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183. I was made fun of on the playground
and I turned out pretty cool.
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184. You know what? Fuck it.
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185. Just as I have found
what I'm looking for here...
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186. maybe it's time you found
what you're looking for.
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187. Steven, if you would like
to take a Mexican wife...
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188. Yes, I would.
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189. If you can balance her
and your workload...
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190. I think I can.
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191. - Without neglecting duties...
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192. I will never neglect my duties.
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193. - Then you have my permission.
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194. Thank you.
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195. Maria has something that
she would like to give you.
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196. Cool, a breadmaker.
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197. I was getting pretty sick of eating
all these fucking tortillas.
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198. That's a good, good gift.
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199. No, that's just the box it's in.
It's homemade.
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200. Oh, cool, a homemade gift.
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201. I told her on the phone to make a black one
but she got confused.
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202. Do you like it?
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203. Hey, Kenny. You look different.
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204. - Yeah, obviously. I've been reborn.
- Oh.
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205. You're kind of bright.
It's hard to look at you.
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206. Yeah, well, people say Jesus Christ
had the same effect on fools.
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207. These are the keys to the Denali.
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208. If you find time I'd like you to fix it.
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209. I had Stevie on the motherfucker
but he got derailed.
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210. Now it's time for a professional.
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211. Time for a Mexican.
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212. - Where are you going all dressed up?
- I'm going to settle some scores.
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213. Today I bring you freedom.
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214. Freedom. Freedom.
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215. Freedom.
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216. Fucker!
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217. There he goes! Look, boss!
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218. A man in all white!
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219. White.
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220. Mexicans!
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221. Oh, Mexicans!
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222. For once in your life...
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223. get off your couches
and do something.
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224. This is your last chance
to see Kenny Powers.
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225. He lost the love of his life.
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226. He went to Mexico for a change.
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227. He met his father.
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228. He got screwed over in love.
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229. But the thing about Kenny Powers...
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230. is, when he faces adversity,
he moves past it.
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231. Because once Jesus leaves the building...
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232. he is out of Mexico for good.
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233. Hola, you two.
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234. Nobody get crazy
and pop off and go loco.
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235. I come in peace.
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236. Tone, what's up?
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237. Very sorry for what I exposed you to
last time we met.
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238. I hope you can forgive me for that.
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239. What do you want, Kenny?
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240. Well, I thought you two
should know that...
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241. I'm moseying on back
to the old U.S. Of A.
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242. Looks like this gunslinger's work
is done here.
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243. You a gunslinger?
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244. The short answer to that, Tony, is yes.
Yes, I am.
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245. You kill people?
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246. And the short answer to that
is also yes.
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247. - Okay.
- Listen to your mom, Tone.
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248. That's a good kid.
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249. How could you bring Tony
to Sebastian's?
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250. I didn't know I was leading him
to watch his mama commit oral adultery.
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251. I thought I was just bringing him there to
show him how self-centered you were being.
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252. - What?
- None of this matters, all right?
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253. Did you hurt my feelings?
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254. Yes, you did. I will give you that victory.
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255. But the one victory you will not have
is the most important.
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256. I'll admit, that sweet tailpipe of yours
did have me charmed.
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257. It put a spell on me.
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258. But all the ass-magic in Mexico...
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259. can't change Kenny Powers
from his core beliefs.
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260. Not an ass man. I'm a tit man.
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261. I like big-ass boobs.
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262. Now and forever.
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263. I'm not like a black guy, Vida.
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264. Congratulations.
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265. Don't go getting your feelings hurt.
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266. You and I both knew
this wasn't gonna last forever.
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267. You're like the girl
the Godfather fucked back in Italy.
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268. You know,
what we had was important...
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269. but the real deal
is waiting for me back at home.
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270. I gotta go.
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271. Adiós, Kenny Powers.
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272. Phew.
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273. Adiós, bubble butt.
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274. Shit.
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275. Charros, I come to you tonight
with no theatrics.
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276. Goddamn it, I thought you
were through with the Charros.
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277. Yeah, I thought I was too.
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278. But now I have returned
for one more fucking game.
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279. I have Sebastian's blessing
and I was hoping to get yours.
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280. But why? I don't even know
what baseball means to you anymore.
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281. I deserve that.
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282. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't here
primarily to play for the scout...
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283. that is rumored
to be here tonight.
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284. But there's also
a very small part of me...
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285. Yet significant part.
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286. - That would always regret
how I left things here with the team.
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287. No. Okay?
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288. Team, Roger...
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289. Benji, bat boy...
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290. I genuinely am sorry.
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291. I brought you guys up
from less than fucking nothing...
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292. and took you up to a championship level,
only to abandon you there.
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293. Leave you high and dry.
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294. Naked and nude...
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295. prey, easy targets...
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296. for the competitions
to rape and butt-fuck you.
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297. I'm sorry for that.
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298. Actually, we've been playing
pretty good.
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299. We've won the last three games, right?
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300. Well, don't get too cocky, Roger.
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301. That's probably because there's
a little residual Kenny Powers pixie dust...
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302. floating around your heads.
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303. Let's face it, guys.
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304. After midnight, this whole fucking place
turns into a pumpkin...
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305. and you guys all turn back into mice.
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306. This is a classic Cinderella tale here.
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307. You know, Peter Pan
will no longer be a man...
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308. he'll turn into real boy.
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309. George Washington will never be able
to cut down the beanstalk.
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310. You guys will eventually
just go back...
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311. to being the shittiest
Mexican baseball team in Mexico.
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312. These are the hard realities, guys.
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313. Life is not a fairytale.
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314. Although sometimes it feels like
our world is full of fairies.
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315. You know who I'm talking about.
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316. I still accept you, brother.
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317. Purity, that's what we all desire.
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318. And that is what I've come here
to share with you, hence the all whites.
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319. We can do some fucking great
things tonight, you guys.
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320. Follow me...
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321. walk with me out onto that field...
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322. and when you do, you put your ass out
and raise your fucking head up.
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323. Know that you'll never ever, ever reach
the heights that you're gonna reach tonight.
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324. But you can leave here knowing...
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325. that you helped
Kenny Powers' dreams come true.
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326. And for a bunch of
Mexican baseball players...
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327. that ain't too bad.
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328. If you're gonna play tonight...
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329. you're gonna play like everybody else.
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330. No donkey, no smoke bombs,
no dick thrusts.
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331. Just pure pitching.
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332. I can fucking dig that.
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333. We're all Mexicans tonight, Kenny.
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334. You're goddamn right we are.
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335. Can we bring it in? Can we bring it in?
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336. Come on, bring it in.
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337. Let's do, like, a Mexican fucking chant.
Come on!
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338. Let's kick some ass! We're Mexican!
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339. Mexico! Mexico! Mexico!
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340. Mexico! Mexico! Mexico!
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341. I'm a fucking Mexican tonight!
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342. I'm a fucking Mexican!
I'm a fucking Mexican!
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343. All right, I'm gonna go change my clothes.
I don't wanna get shit on my slacks.
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344. Ladies and gentlemen, here
we are at the stadium for tonight's game...
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345. and we're about to see...
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346. a man who is finally a pitcher:
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347. Kenny "Powders."
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348. Not a clown, but a man who is here
to take care of business.
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349. Strike!
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350. Strike!
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351. April's tits.
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352. You're out!
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353. You're the best! You are the man!
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354. I'm your number one fan!
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355. Finally, motherfuckers.
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356. Hey, great juego, homes.
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357. Take it easy, Carlos.
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358. See you, Juanito.
Take care of them warts.
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359. You threw a hell of a game, Kenny.
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360. Game ball.
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361. Thanks, Roger.
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362. I'll put this with my collection
of personal achievements.
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363. I mean, not right next
to the good shit but still.
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364. Kenny Powers!
Sweet-ass game, motherfucker.
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365. I'm so proud of you, man.
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366. All right. Too hot for hugs here, man.
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367. I've been battling the war on swamp ass
since I've been here.
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368. Put talcum powder on the grundel,
keep it fresh.
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369. - Talcum?
- Yes, sir.
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370. Roy McDaniel, scout from Texas.
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371. Like what I saw out there tonight.
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372. - Heh, heh. You weren't bullshitting.
- I was not. This is the scout from Texas.
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373. P-A-T told me you were
throwing grenades down here.
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374. I got in my Escalade.
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375. To Mexico? That's when you came.
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376. - To see you.
- To see me.
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377. - Yes, sir.
- Yeah.
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378. What do you think?
Does Texas want a fucking taste?
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379. Well, they want to nibble, all right?
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380. There is a difference between mowing down
Mexicans down here...
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381. than mowing down the big boys
up in major leagues.
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382. Yeah, they don't speak
the same language.
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383. It's a different level of player but...
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384. But still, it's still very difficult.
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385. - It's very hotter down here.
- You look good.
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386. I don't think you're ready
for the bigs yet.
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387. - I don't, but...
- Pat, you motherfucker.
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388. - Hey, hey, hey.
- Wasting my time again?
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389. Don't motherfuck Pat.
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390. Pat's been on your side.
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391. No. You don't know the history.
Pat has fucked me.
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392. Just listen to the man,
listen to the man.
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393. I was ready to go home,
get the girl of my dreams.
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394. - Came here wasting time...
- Kenny Powers.
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395. Pat got you in the door,
he got me down here.
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396. I came with good news.
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397. Myrtle Beach.
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398. You come there, show me the stuff
you got on the mound tonight...
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399. in camp, I don't see why
you can't play for our double A team.
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400. - Double A, huh?
- Double A.
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401. So we're talking minors?
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402. We're talking camp, then minors.
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403. We're talking come to the team,
throw one game...
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404. show everyone what I got,
into the bigs.
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405. Probably more than one game, to be fair.
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406. Maybe two games,
smoke them into the bigs.
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407. Maybe more than two.
What I'm saying is you'll be on your way.
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408. I'm talking about getting you back
into American baseball.
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409. All right, well, that does sound enticing.
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410. You gotta trust me.
I'm not down here to tickle fucking balls.
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411. I hope not. Heh.
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412. I chased my dream, I got it.
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413. I sucked my dream's cock.
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414. I'm gay, and I'm fucking proud of it.
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415. No, that's cool.
You know, pride is great.
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416. Whatever raises your skirt.
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417. If you wanna wear a skirt
I'm not gonna fucking judge you for it.
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418. You wanna get back in big leagues?
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419. - I'm ready.
- Follow me.
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420. I like how we talk. Fucking lick it.
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421. Whoo! Spring training, Myrtle Beach.
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422. Kenny, it is time to quit tickling balls
and start sucking your dream's dick.
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423. If that's what it takes, then
a cocking dream it will be sucked upon.
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424. - Swallow that motherfucker.
- Swallow it.
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425. - Suck it, suck the dick.
- Eat it.
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426. Let's suck my dream's dick.
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427. - Fight on it, big boy!
- I like this guy.
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428. We gonna party in Myrtle Beach?
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429. - Suck a dream's dick.
- Let's party tonight.
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430. I wish I could.
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431. I got some Mexican cake
at my hotel room.
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432. - I'm in.
- Let's fucking smear it all over each other.
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433. We're fucking celebrating, man.
Let's do this.
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434. I got a mission to complete.
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435. - See your ass in Myrtle Beach.
- Myrtle.
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436. - Kenny Powers.
- Myrtle, K.P.
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437. Chapter 17: Done and Fucking Done.
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438. Just like that the journey is over.
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439. Depression is finished,
you're on your way back...
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440. to the world of the living,
smiling regular people.
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441. The road has been paved with dickheads,
backstabbers and pains in the fucking ass.
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442. But memories were made,
allies were had...
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443. pole smokers were toppled...
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444. and the truth was discovered.
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445. And like any journey,
if you stay the course...
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446. the road might just
show you what you need.
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447. All you gotta do is
keep your eyes on the road...
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448. and your foot on the fucking gas.
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449. Do you like it?
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450. Yeah, I mean did I like it
how it was before, regular style? Yes.
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451. But I'm sure I'll get to like
this style too, man.
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452. - Change is good, my friend.
- That it is.
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453. You're a good neighbor, hombre.
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454. You can take that with you to the grave.
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455. Look at these two little banditos.
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456. I know we didn't always agree on music
or leisure sports but I am gonna miss y'all.
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457. Slap it there. There we go.
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458. Put it there, buddy. Put a shirt on, man.
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459. I got something for you.
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460. Boom. He's yours.
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461. Whenever I look at a Mexican
I will think of you.
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462. Whenever you look at that jackass,
you think of me. Okay?
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463. Miss you, buddy.
They'll take care of you.
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464. Come on, he's yours.
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465. Here, come on, get on him.
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466. Just be careful about the back legs.
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467. He will kick you in the face. I'm serious.
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468. All right, guys, come on,
time to make tracks.
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469. - Time to go.
- Catuey's wife, grandma lady...
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470. I know that we always
didn't communicate.
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471. I don't think we ever really got over
that language barrier.
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472. No, it's not your fault.
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473. - What the fuck? You speak English?
- Of course I do.
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474. You've spoke English the whole time?
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475. I speak English since I was 5.
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476. - Five years old?
- And I have 84 now.
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477. You don't look a day over 110.
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478. All the talks we could've had,
all the wisdom you could've shared. Phew.
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479. Crazy I find this out right now,
as soon as I'm leaving this fucking country.
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480. Well, it's nice to meet you.
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481. - Nice to meet you too.
- Thank you.
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482. Stevie, Maria, let's dance
our way on out of here, huh?
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483. - Gotta go.
- Gotta go. Let's do it.
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484. - Adiós, you guys.
- Adiós.
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485. I love you too.
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486. Bye, Catuey.
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487. Adiós, Mexico.
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