1. Oh, what the fuck, Stevie! Gross!
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2. You're crop dusting my whole
bedroom with your pubes.
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3. Oh, sorry, Kenny.
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4. Don't be sorry.
Just cover up that marble sack.
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5. I think you mean marbles and bananas,
Kenny.
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6. - I don't think so. I'm just seeing marbles.
- You're not looking close enough.
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7. I don't want to fucking look closer.
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8. - Okay.
- Wait a second here.
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9. Hold up. Hold up!
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10. - Hold up.
- What?
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11. - Is that my thong?
- Yeah, all my stuff had blood on it.
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12. Dude, no way.
You do not go in my drawers...
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13. and take a pair of my chones.
That's a big no-no.
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14. I got these out of the dirty clothes.
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15. Oh, my God! Sickening.
Dude, I'm about to throw up.
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16. I got a list of shit
for you to do tomorrow.
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17. It looks like buying underwear
moved to the top.
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18. I also need you to fix the Denali.
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19. - What's wrong with it?
- It don't fucking move.
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20. Now, fix it. Jesus H. Christ.
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21. Okay, so buy underwear, number one.
Number two, fix that car. Anything else?
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22. Since you're turning this room
into your own quarters...
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23. you should make it comfortable.
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24. It's been a traumatic experience for you.
Been through a lot.
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25. Maybe you should get a flat-screen TV.
Don't skimp and get the Vizio.
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26. Get what you deserve. Get the Sony.
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27. Ooh! I wonder if they have the 3-D models
here yet.
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28. Don't get excited, dude. 3-D's gay.
Nobody wants to sit on a couch...
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29. wearing glasses, popping bubbles out of
the air like some fucked up Ray Charles.
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30. - I do.
- Oh, you like 3-D?
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31. Well, here's a burrito.
Coming right at you.
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32. Shit!
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33. Ha-ha-ha. No, No. Stop laughing.
I'm about to go goddamn nuclear in Mexico.
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34. - What's up, Powers?
- Why don't you tell me?
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35. I finally win this team a game,
come in here today...
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36. and the workers are taking
my damn signs down.
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37. Oh, look, we always change
the promo signs, Kenny.
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38. You always change the signs.
Guess what? Not my signs.
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39. My signs are staying up.
Trying to mount a comeback.
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40. - I feel like nobody gives a shit.
- Why'd you think that?
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41. Because I gave those fucking people,
all the villagers...
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42. my heart out there and I got shit in return.
I didn't even get a fucking this.
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43. How fucking hard is it to do this
when someone does something good?
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44. You think that's the first time
our fans have seen a strike-out?
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45. They'll pick up on you at their own pace.
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46. Getting everybody to love me
is a full-time job.
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47. I need to focus on this.
If I don't have love, I don't have shit.
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48. Look, hey, look the signs outside, the media
out there, forget about them, Kenny.
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49. You're dumping all this shit in my lap and
I gotta play Mr. Belvedere and clean it up.
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50. - Hey, Kenny.
- Enough!
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51. No.
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52. Well, looks like we got Atlanta
all over again.
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53. Team ain't behind me the way I need.
We have to do this ourselves.
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54. Kick-start this revolution. I want every
single person in this town saying my name.
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55. At least you've got the grocery store
promotion coming up.
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56. It's a perfect opportunity for me...
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57. to capture the hearts and minds
of these fucking villagers.
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58. Also, I'm about one slow hump away
from finally being over April.
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59. I want to knock that out before we get
too many worshipers, got it?
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60. Actually, Maria, my sister-in-law,
she's available.
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61. - She is?
- Ugh. Sick.
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62. Not interested. I always trade up.
That's part of my code.
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63. Mom, why are we
looking at the ground of the store?
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64. Don't be stupid, son.
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65. We're looking for low prices!
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66. Today we have the grand opening
of another Cisneros Supermarket.
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67. We have invited the stars.
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68. The biggest stars ever.
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69. The Charros of Copales!
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70. Kenny. Kenny.
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71. Oh, hey. How's it going?
You hear I was in the barrio?
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72. I was just going to the grocery store,
but...
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73. Yeah, sure you were.
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74. Why are you dressed as a mariachi?
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75. You know, I'm just doing some PR shit
here for the baseball team.
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76. Figured I'd dress in the customary,
you know, gowns and whatnot.
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77. - You...? You likey?
- Yeah, you look cute.
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78. Do I look muy guapo in this?
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79. Oh, yeah.
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80. Delicioso, Matatan. You hear that?
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81. This guy over here. Cheese dick.
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82. So, um, you're signing autographs?
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83. Yeah, I'm supposed to be.
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84. How come there's no one in your line?
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85. Good question. I've been trying
to figure that out all goddamn morning.
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86. I just feel like if you don't have
a soccer ball bouncing off your head...
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87. nobody even gives two shits
about you in this country.
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88. Pick it up. Tonto, just pick it up.
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89. Soccer is really popular here.
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90. Not in America.
In America, people fucking hate soccer.
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91. Honestly, that's the way it should be.
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92. I don't know. I... I kind of like soccer.
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93. - You kind of like soccer?
- Yeah.
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94. I'm gonna pretend like you didn't just
make my dick go soft.
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95. - Really?
- Yeah. No, it's totally soft.
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96. It's just gone back inside of me with that.
No, don't talk about soccer.
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97. Well, maybe...
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98. Maybe you can show me
why baseball is better.
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99. Gladly. How about, say, Saturday night
at a very cool yacht party?
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100. - A yacht party?
- Just a few top-tier types.
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101. An intimate dinner
with the owner of the Charros.
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102. There's gonna be an ass ton
of crabs, lobsters, wine.
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103. Bartles and Jaymes, corn on the cob,
fucking booger sugar.
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104. But I can't tell
when you're being serious or not.
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105. Sweetheart, I'm always serious.
Care for an autograph?
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106. That's me and you, Saturday night.
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107. Okay. See you on Saturday.
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108. That's what's up.
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109. All right, Matatan, you get the rest of these.
I'm gonna take me a siesta.
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110. Hey, Maria. Time to change my bandage?
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111. Looks like I'm healing pretty good, right?
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112. Oh, that's right, you don't speak English.
I could just say whatever I want right now.
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113. Like tell you my secrets and dreams
and hopes and pleasures.
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114. Tell you what I like to do alone.
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115. What my favorite foods are.
That's why I like you.
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116. Hey, man.
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117. - Can I help you?
- Is Steve here?
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118. - Uh, yeah.
- Go and get him.
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119. Okay.
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120. - Got him.
- Where is he?
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121. Right in front of you.
Who the fuck are you guys?
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122. You tell that asshole
we found Eduardo Sanchez.
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123. He give us money.
We give him address.
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124. Go inside. I'll handle this.
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125. Who the hell is Eduardo Sanchez?
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126. Don't ask fucking questions.
Meet Monday at Big Red's grave.
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127. - Who the hell is Big Red?
- Fuck you, and fuck your face.
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128. Piece of shit.
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129. - Yeah, you better get the fuck on.
- Suck this, motherfucker.
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130. Piece of crap.
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131. Bitches.
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132. - Yeah.
Whoo-hoo! Party.
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133. - Yay.
- Yay.
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134. Here we go.
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135. - Wow, that bike ride was fun.
- All right.
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136. Yeah, well,
my main car's usually a Denali...
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137. but that shit's in the shop.
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138. Just cruising around on this eco-friendly
deal now, trying to go green.
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139. Wow, so, um, the man who own this boat,
is...? Is he your boss, or...?
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140. He owns the team,
but the way I'm operating...
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141. I don't really kind of adhere
to the normal boss kind of shit. Ahoy.
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142. Hi. Um...
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143. - Help me. Thank you.
- Sure.
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144. - All right. One, two, three.
- Thanks.
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145. Easy, Tonto. She's with me.
Why don't you sit down?
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146. - Ah, my star player. Ha, ha.
- Tonight's the night.
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147. Yeah. Who is this firecracker?
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148. Vida.
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149. - You have a beautiful boat.
- Oh, thank you. I work so hard for it.
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150. Welcome aboard
and meet the people on the boat.
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151. Come on, mi gente.
Let's get this party started.
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152. Start the party.
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153. Thanks for inviting me to this shit.
It's fucking fairly fly.
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154. Look at that. Look at that.
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155. Told you I'd bring
the hottest senorita in Mexico.
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156. - How long have you been with this one?
- Vida?
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157. - Yeah.
- She's been coming after me for weeks.
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158. I had to deflect her with both hands.
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159. Slow down. Stop trying to be the one.
I'm just out of a relationship.
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160. But I bet you that sweet ass makes you
forget about any old relationship.
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161. That's for sure.
That's why sometimes I masturbate.
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162. It's hard to beat a nice ass. I take a nice ass
over like a big set of titties any day. You?
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163. I like them both.
They're both fucking awesome.
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164. Obviously. But if you had to choose
between titties or ass, which one?
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165. Yeah, I see now what you're saying.
It's a hard choice.
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166. - It's a choice in life.
- No shit. I mean, I guess...
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167. if I had to choose, I mean historically, I've
always considered myself to be a tit man.
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168. But this one has you thinking.
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169. Well, it's no mystery that ass
has always been tits' greatest enemy.
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170. Like a Muslim-Jewish thing,
but with tits and ass.
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171. And which side are you on?
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172. All right. Same rules as last time.
No catching feelings.
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173. I'm damaged goods. You'll have my body.
You will not have my heart.
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174. - Please don't expect it.
- Stop talking.
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175. And pull out your dick. I want to play.
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176. Hey.
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177. Who the hell are you?
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178. My name is Tony. What is your name is?
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179. My name is Kenny.
What, do you live here?
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180. - Yeah.
- What are you...
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181. like Vida's roommate or some shit?
- No.
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182. - I'm her son.
- Her son?
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183. - You came out of her vagina?
- Huh.
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184. I was all up in that shit last night.
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185. What are you watching on this TV set?
This programs?
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186. So much funny stuff.
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187. I've seen shit like this before.
It's not funny.
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188. - Do you like magic?
- No. Not really.
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189. Why, you gonna try to
make me disappear?
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190. - I don't know how.
- I do.
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191. Start calling me dad.
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192. I was wondering if I'd feel bad,
you know, if, uh, you know...
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193. Not that I'm emotional,
but with blowing my load...
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194. after finding out that April
was married would have hurt.
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195. - And did it?
- Not at all.
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196. No, it was actually
pretty fucking awesome.
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197. You should have seen the size of her ass.
It was incredible.
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198. It was like a hot air balloon
right in front of me. I went, "pfft"...
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199. all over the thing as soon as I saw it.
The only thing iffy, turns out she has a kid.
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200. - What? Like a real one?
- Seemed pretty real to me.
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201. - Sitting there playing magic on the couch.
- Ew.
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202. I don't love the idea of her having a kid.
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203. Makes you kind of feel
like her uterus is used up.
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204. But that I didn't know
she had a kid is pretty cool.
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205. - And this kid is always home alone?
- Yeah, I guess so.
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206. The fucking kid is home alone.
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207. Yeah, it's pretty awesome, huh?
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208. She's asking you
to try one of those peppers.
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209. - These little suckers here?
- They're very good.
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210. I don't like fucking around with peppers.
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211. Stevie, you like putting slimy things
in your mouth, don't you?
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212. - Yeah, I do.
- Suck it, dog.
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213. Put it in. Look at him.
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214. Yeah, lookit. Ugh.
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215. Don't just lick the tip. Bite it.
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216. Ew!
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217. - I knew that...
- Ha-ha-ha. What a fucking pussy.
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218. Kenny, there was some weird Mexican
motherfuckers that came by yesterday.
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219. - Well, who were they?
- Some fucking mongoloid...
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220. and a fucking dwarf.
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221. - What did they want?
- They thought...
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222. they found somebody
that you were looking for.
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223. Some Mexican name like Eduardo
or something like that.
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224. - Eduardo Sanchez.
- Yeah, that's it.
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225. Who were those dudes, man?
They almost tried to step to me, Kenny.
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226. Well, the littlest one
used to be my sidekick.
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227. The big one, well,
he just pissed me off all the time.
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228. - Did they say where they found him?
- Wait. Sidekick?
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229. You were down here with another sidekick?
How long were you working with him?
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230. Pull your head out of your ass, dipshit.
This is important.
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231. I didn't just come to Mexico
to get drunk and fuck prostitutes.
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232. I mean, you know, I came here for that...
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233. but I also came here
for something else too.
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234. I came here looking for a man
by the name of Eduardo.
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235. - And who is he?
- Well...
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236. it's more of a personal quest.
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237. I'm not trying to pull
a bunch of other people involved.
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238. Oh, but you'll put a little troll
on the case, huh?
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239. Don't get your feelings hurt, all right?
I came to Mexico to find answers.
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240. I thought maybe Eduardo would hold
those answers. Maybe he still does.
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241. Testing, testing, testing.
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242. Batteries working on here?
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243. Tone.
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244. Finally all the pieces are falling together.
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245. All the answers I been searching for
are on the verge of totally being answered.
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246. I put in the goddamn man-hours.
Fucking muscles, the sweats, the tears.
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247. Now it's my turn. I got this country wet.
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248. Now it's time to bend this bitch over
and make her cum.
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249. - When you talk to these people, my friend.
- Yes.
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250. - You make sure you talk to all of them.
- Okay.
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251. - Kenny Powers! The Charros.
- Kenny Powers!
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252. Villagers and townspeople...
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253. come see Kenny Powers
destroy the competition in Mexico.
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254. He's a national gift
from the good people of America to you.
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255. Cheer for him. Bow to him. Worship him.
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256. Kenny Powers, he's the White Flame...
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257. and he's burning this country
to the fucking ground.
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258. The White Flame,
Mr. Kenny fucking Powers.
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259. And now gentlemen,
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260. we can see who is entering the field.
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261. I have a note here informing me
that I should call him
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262. The White Flame.
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263. All right. Come on. Get these people
on their fucking feet, Powers.
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264. Goddamn. What, is this fucking crowd
full of dead people?
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265. Get on your feet, you motherfuckers.
Come on.
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266. Fucking ingrates.
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267. Hey, Powers! Hurry up,
so we can go get fucked up.
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268. I know this fucker
ain't trying to distract me.
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269. Hey, Kenny. Nobody gives a shit
for you over here in Mexico.
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270. Hey, silencio, por favor.
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271. Come on, Powders. We could
have fucked all the Tecate girls already.
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272. What are you waiting for?
The major leagues to call you?
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273. What you gonna say now, fucker?
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274. You really want to do this?
You really want to do this?
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275. Come on, tough guy.
Wanna be a motherfucking tough guy?
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276. - Come on!
- No, no, no!
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277. What are you doing?
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278. Finally, motherfuckers. Finally!
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279. Yes! On your feet. Whoo!
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280. Whoo! Whoo!
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281. It's like goddamn Cocktoberfest in here.
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282. I'm excited too,
but let's not touch dicks, all right? Ugh.
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283. Kenny Powers and Barack Obama...
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284. are the most famous people
in show business, so fuck it.
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285. La Flama Blanca. La Flama Blanca.
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286. Finally, some Kenny Powers fans. About
time you Latinos rose to the occasion.
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287. Sign, La Flama Blanca.
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288. What the hell?
I don't know what the fuck that means.
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289. - It means you, White Flame.
- Me? White Flame?
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290. That's lame as shit.
Where the fuck did you hear that?
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291. Stupid kid probably just made that up,
so fuck it.
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292. Listen here, little hombre.
I'll give you my autograph...
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293. but thou shall not fuck up
my branding. Do you hear me?
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294. I'm wearing all black. All right?
Outlaws wear black.
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295. Fags and cocaine dealers wear white.
Give me that ball.
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296. Let's see here.
How you say "black" in Español?
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297. You said it, not me.
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298. That's what you and your buddies
need to be chanting.
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299. None of this La Flama
whatever shit. Take that.
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300. Me es Negro, guys. I'm a negro, capiche?
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301. You don't even know what capiche means,
do you? That's because that's Russian.
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302. - What the fuck is that in your hand?
- Uh...
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303. Fuck this.
I don't know how that got there.
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304. - Goodbye, White Flame.
- No, did...?
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305. Did you not just hear what I said?
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306. Miss you, buddy.
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307. So who's buried here?
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308. Just an old friend.
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309. Yo, man!
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310. Buenos días,
you back-stabbing fuckers.
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311. So I understand you all have found
the man Eduardo Sanchez. Is this true?
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312. - Yes, we find him.
- It's "found." It's past tense, munchkin.
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313. Come on, easy. Easy, all right?
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314. This is a simple transaction.
There's no reason for anybody to get cut.
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315. Lower the scissors and the tiny blade.
Please. Lower them.
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316. Tell your bitch to stop sassing me.
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317. - I am not his bitch.
- Just... Shh.
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318. All right? No reason to fucking bicker.
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319. Both of y'all were my bitches, so it's fine.
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320. You can bond on that.
Don't be at each other's throats.
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321. Just give me and Hector some money
and we'll give you the address.
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322. - We're keeping the pillowcase.
- Yes.
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323. Fucking sleep on it.
Let me have the money first.
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324. - Good, we will keep it.
- How much is that?
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325. - About 40 dollars.
- Forty dollars?
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326. - That's not 40 dollars.
- Forty bucks is all you're gonna get.
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327. Just give us the fucking address.
Come on!
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328. What the fuck is this?
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329. - Hello, hello?
- The hell is his saying?
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330. Hello, hello? Phone book,
motherfucker, phone book.
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331. Hector thinks he might be in there
somewhere.
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332. - You motherfuckers.
- Whoa!
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333. So you roll me twice, huh?
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334. Why don't you go back home
where you belong?
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335. Why do you keep telling me to go home?
Why don't you go home?
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336. Where the fuck are you from?
You're not from Mexico.
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337. I'm from the streets of Bombay.
Mexico is the place where the gold is.
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338. Well, I haven't seen any fucking gold
around here.
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339. Follow the yellow brick road.
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340. Yeah, maybe I'll find the Ewok village
you came from.
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341. You got it wrong, buddy.
I'm Yoda.
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342. Why don't you two charlatans
get out of here...
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343. before I rip that fake mustache
off your face?
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344. I always carry two.
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345. Always!
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346. Vamanos, Hector. Vamanos. Ha-ha-ha.
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347. Fuck.
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348. - I'm the king.
- Of what, motherfucker?
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349. - Of mustaches?
- Fucking motherfuckers. Fuck. Fuck!
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350. Nice pants. Where'd you get them at,
Gap Baby?
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351. Don't fall in the river and someone
mistake you for a fucking floating turd.
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352. - Fuck you.
- Fuck you too, bitch.
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353. - Goddamn it.
- Oh, fuck. It was my fault, dude.
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354. Should have never
trusted a man that size.
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355. So who is Eduardo Sanchez?
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356. Doesn't matter anymore, Stevie.
Doesn't matter.
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357. He's a mystery
best left for another day.
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358. It matters to me, okay? It's important.
Tell me. I deserve to know, Kenny.
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359. And because you just tried to speak to me
like a man, now you'll never know.
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360. So have fun being curious.
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361. I won't be able to fucking sleep without
knowing who Eduardo Sanchez is.
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362. None of it matters anymore, Stevie.
I've found what I'm looking for.
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363. Thank you for bringing us
to the carnival.
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364. Yeah, no problem. If y'all want
any more tacos or churros or popcorn...
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365. just let me know, I'll get you more.
- I think we're fine.
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366. You should be thanking me
for these tacos...
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367. because these seem like they're the deal.
Although I wonder...
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368. if I'm gonna get Montezuma's Revenge
from this shit.
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369. You're gonna be fine.
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370. - They wash their hands and stuff here?
- Of course.
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371. Do you know
what Montezuma's Revenge is?
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372. I hear it's when a white man
shits his pants in Mexico.
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373. - Eh, most of the time.
- Yeah.
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374. Vida, there's something super serious I'd
like to talk to you two about, if that's okay.
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375. - Okay.
- Take the computers out of your ears.
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376. Tony, take the computers
out of los ojos.
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377. Take your headphones down.
Take them out of the "earos." Thank you.
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378. Well, it's no mystery
that I'm damaged goods.
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379. I think you guys both know that.
I've told you all that countless times.
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380. It's also no secret that it's been hard for me
to get over my old girl back in the States.
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381. I mean, you know that. I've talked to you
about it. Cried about it. You know.
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382. But I'm starting to realize
that maybe it's time I wake up...
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383. and see that ship has sailed,
and now a new ship has come into port.
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384. A pirate ship,
carrying some incredible bootie.
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385. - Tony's here.
- Yeah, I know he's here.
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386. I want him to hear this.
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387. Tony, I'm gonna talk to you
like a man now, okay?
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388. - Is that cool?
- Okay.
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389. I have serious fucking feelings
for your mom.
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390. I'm madly in love with her. I've never...
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391. never have ever felt like this
for anyone before.
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392. Vida, baby,
I'm ready to say fuck the past...
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393. and commit to you right now. I'm ready
to commit to the both of you if I have to.
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394. You don't need to commit to us.
We are just having fun...
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395. and you can take it slow.
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396. No, I've taken it slow before
and it did not work out so good.
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397. So I'm doing shit different this time.
I'm taking it super fast. Tony.
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398. - Yes.
- From this moment forward...
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399. I want you to consider me
your father figure. To now. Raise it up.
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400. - Father figure.
- He doesn't need that.
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401. Shh, shh, shh.
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402. If this is gonna work for real...
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403. then we can no longer walk around
and pretend like he doesn't exist.
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404. He does exist, Vida.
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405. He's real and he's here
and he's right in front of us.
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406. You matter to us now, Tony.
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407. You matter to both of us now.
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408. Who wants to go
on this roller coaster ride?
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409. Sure, uh, I want to have fun.
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410. Fun begins now. Boom.
Let's do this shit. Shall we?
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411. Okay.
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412. Tacos. Let's go.
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