1. When my ass was 19 years old...Copy !req
2. I changed the face of professional baseball.Copy !req
3. Well, any baseball fan has gotta love this.Copy !req
4. Bottom of the ninth inning,
Game 7, bases loaded, two out...Copy !req
5. and Atlanta's gone to their bullpen...Copy !req
6. and called on the rookie, Kenny Powers.Copy !req
7. Absolutely untested,
and he's run the count full...Copy !req
8. to the all-star, Eddie Friarson.Copy !req
9. The bases are loaded. He shakes off a sign.Copy !req
10. Now he's ready. Three-two pitch.
Struck him out!Copy !req
11. You're fucking out!Copy !req
12. Kenny Powers has done it.
Atlanta wins the series! Listen to this crowd!Copy !req
13. I was handed the keys to the kingdom.Copy !req
14. Multi-million dollar deals, endorsements.Copy !req
15. Everyone wanted a piece of my shit.Copy !req
16. You're fucking out!Copy !req
17. You're fucking out!Copy !req
18. Just a man with a mind for victory...Copy !req
19. and an arm like a fucking cannon.Copy !req
20. But sometimes when you bring the thunder...Copy !req
21. you get lost in the storm.Copy !req
22. I'm sick and tired of carrying all the weight.Copy !req
23. The coaches and owners
not giving me the shit I need to win.Copy !req
24. Atlanta, you're fucking out.Copy !req
25. Kenny Powers is now a free agent.Copy !req
26. Find a bar and get shitfaced, huh?Copy !req
27. Get me paid, bitch.Copy !req
28. Superstar!Copy !req
29. So, Kenny, how do you feel
about playing for New York?Copy !req
30. You mean Jew York? It's fucking great.Copy !req
31. I thought the blacks in Baltimore were bad.Copy !req
32. But turns out they're nothing compared
to these fags you got in San Francisco.Copy !req
33. And a true champion,
face to face with his darkest hour...Copy !req
34. will do whatever it takes to rise above.Copy !req
35. Any comments on the steroid allegations?Copy !req
36. I said I'm not on steroids!Copy !req
37. A man fights and fights
and then fights some more.Copy !req
38. Because surrender is death,
and death is for pussies.Copy !req
39. Kenny Powers, a career that
once showed so much promise.Copy !req
40. You can feel the sun
going down on it right here.Copy !req
41. No, man. Come on, motherfucker.
Come on, fucking fastball.Copy !req
42. Two balls, no strikes. A runner at third,
one out in the eighth.Copy !req
43. MacWorthy awaits.Copy !req
44. And there's a long fly ball.
It is way back there.Copy !req
45. The nail in the coffin of a career.Copy !req
46. And Powers kicks his glove.Copy !req
47. You're fucking out!
You're fucking out!Copy !req
48. And my ass ain't no pussy.Copy !req
49. My ass is a...Copy !req
50. fucking champion.Copy !req
51. Write your name in the top right corner...Copy !req
52. followed by birth date
and social security number.Copy !req
53. Fill out the form completely.Copy !req
54. When you finished, hand in your form to me.Copy !req
55. Welcome to the Shelby County school system
and your new, exciting career as...Copy !req
56. a substitute teacher.Copy !req
57. Hey, you're never gonna believe
who's sitting in front of me.Copy !req
58. Kenny Fucking Powers.Copy !req
59. No shit. Yeah, it's him.Copy !req
60. No. Hell, no. He looks like shit.Copy !req
61. He looks like a big bag
full of mashed-up asshole.Copy !req
62. Kenny Powers!Copy !req
63. Holy shit, I knew that was you.Copy !req
64. Slow the fuck down, dude.Copy !req
65. Marcus Shank.
You banged my stepsister back in high school.Copy !req
66. What the fuck are you
doing back here, man?Copy !req
67. Hey, hit me up with that
Texas toast there, bro.Copy !req
68. - Oh, here you go.
- Thanks.Copy !req
69. So did you get the Christmas
cards we got you this year?Copy !req
70. Yeah, I think so. Yeah.
I get a shit ton of fan mail.Copy !req
71. So that's a lot of mail to go through.
But, yeah, I mean, yeah, I think I did.Copy !req
72. Y'all get that—
The tanning bed I sent y'all last year?Copy !req
73. - The one you sent three years ago?
- Three years?Copy !req
74. Well, it is a tanning bed, you know? So...Copy !req
75. You boys ever tag team anybody,
beat up any kids in your neighborhood?Copy !req
76. When we were kids,
me and your dad used to beat the shit...Copy !req
77. out of these retards
that lived down the street.Copy !req
78. Hilarious. This guy
was the most ruthless one.Copy !req
79. Now I'm sitting here, he's got a family,
he's got a nice a shirt on.Copy !req
80. We try and teach our children...Copy !req
81. not to make fun
of others who are challenged.Copy !req
82. Mongoloid Mike.
Is that what you called him?Copy !req
83. You used to bust his head open
with a stick. Remember that?Copy !req
84. Okay. I think we're gonna
tone down the language. Right?Copy !req
85. I mean, my mind's still blown
you got three kids.Copy !req
86. I mean, I don't remember
you having this one.Copy !req
87. - Old blondie over here.
- We got three.Copy !req
88. Three handsome young men.
The Powers' way.Copy !req
89. The littlest one's a girl.Copy !req
90. You certainly are.Copy !req
91. Her name is Rose.Copy !req
92. Named after Miss Kate Winslet
in the movie Titanic.Copy !req
93. Y'all named your daughter
after fucking Titanic?Copy !req
94. It's Cassie's favorite movie.Copy !req
95. You gotta be shitting me.Copy !req
96. What's his name, fucking Shrek?Copy !req
97. No, huh? Okay.Copy !req
98. Damn, it's cold.Copy !req
99. So thanks for letting me crash here.
Appreciate it.Copy !req
100. Yeah. Sure, man.Copy !req
101. Kenny, we was wondering,
speaking of which...Copy !req
102. how long you was planning on, you know...Copy !req
103. - ... staying here?
- We?Copy !req
104. Well, it ain't like that.Copy !req
105. How many times do I gotta tell you?Copy !req
106. Gatorade is still trying to get a piece.
The IRS up in my shit.Copy !req
107. I need to take a job just so the government
can garnish my fucking wages, man.Copy !req
108. Just give me a little breathing room here.Copy !req
109. Just give me some walking around money,
then I'll be fine. Okay?Copy !req
110. How long is that gonna be?Copy !req
111. - You wanna know how long?
- Yeah.Copy !req
112. Four fucking years. How about that?Copy !req
113. Really. We're brothers.
You want me to give you a date?Copy !req
114. Well...Copy !req
115. just wondering how long
it's gonna be till you...Copy !req
116. Till I what?Copy !req
117. - Get your shit together, Kenny.
- I'm kidding.Copy !req
118. I'm not.Copy !req
119. Okay. Okay.Copy !req
120. I'm okay. I'm okay.Copy !req
121. Undaunted, I knew the game was mine to win.Copy !req
122. Just like in life, all of my
successes depend on me.Copy !req
123. I'm the man who has the ball.Copy !req
124. I'm the man who can throw it faster than fuck.Copy !req
125. So that is why I am better
than everyone in the world.Copy !req
126. Kiss my ass and suck my dick, everyone.Copy !req
127. You've reached the end of Cassette Number 3.Copy !req
128. You're listening to the audio book...Copy !req
129. You're Fucking Out,
I'm Fucking In by Kenny Powers.Copy !req
130. Narrated by Kenny Powers.Copy !req
131. I mean, he drew a pentagram made of penises.Copy !req
132. You know, I think he's a real sicko, Mrs. Brady.Copy !req
133. I got my major in art, not psychology.
You know, I don't know what to tell this kid.Copy !req
134. April.Copy !req
135. April!Copy !req
136. I'm just kidding, it's me.Copy !req
137. I recognize your scent.Copy !req
138. Do you recognize my essence?Copy !req
139. - Yeah? Yeah.
- Okay.Copy !req
140. - That feels familiar, huh?
- It's nice to see you too.Copy !req
141. I think I'm gonna need to change my pants.Copy !req
142. I'm just playing. I didn't come in my pants.Copy !req
143. Did— I was surprised...Copy !req
144. when I heard that you were coming back.Copy !req
145. Oh, you know. I'm just doing
a little rehab on the shoulder, you know?Copy !req
146. Trying to get my fuck on,
you know what I'm saying.Copy !req
147. Yeah.Copy !req
148. Kenny, if you think that
I'm gonna hook up with you...Copy !req
149. after all this time...Copy !req
150. well, then you've lost your goddamn mind.Copy !req
151. You have not changed at all.
We still got that fun chemistry...Copy !req
152. - ... where we just play with each other—
- Kenny Powers in my school?Copy !req
153. It is a true pleasure to meet you.
I'm just a huge fan.Copy !req
154. Terrence Cutler, principal.Copy !req
155. Oh, big boss man. Okay.Copy !req
156. Well. When I heard that you
were gonna be subbing here...Copy !req
157. I almost lost my mind.Copy !req
158. Well, that's good for you.Copy !req
159. Well, there's something
you need to know about, Kenny.Copy !req
160. You're not the only athlete here at Jeff Davis.
I happen to be training for a triathlon right now...Copy !req
161. so doing a lot of running,
and cycling, swimming.Copy !req
162. Well, you know all about that.Copy !req
163. No, actually, I don't. I play real sports.Copy !req
164. Not trying to be the best at exercising.Copy !req
165. - Fuck this guy.
- This guy, hilarious.Copy !req
166. - Hilarious.
- Yeah.Copy !req
167. Let's get your paperwork started.
Show you where you're working.Copy !req
168. How about you get the paperwork started?
I'm gonna stay here and catch up with April.Copy !req
169. You know April?Copy !req
170. - We went to high school together.
- We used to date.Copy !req
171. You used to date?Copy !req
172. April, you never told me
you dated Kenny Powers.Copy !req
173. - Well—
- That is so cool!Copy !req
174. It's a little too early to tell,
but looks like the sparks are still flying.Copy !req
175. - God.
- I'll get up in it.Copy !req
176. Oh, that's not funny.Copy !req
177. - That's—
- You're hilarious!Copy !req
178. I forget to tell you. I'm— I'm engaged now.Copy !req
179. Bullshit. You're engaged?
Yeah, right. Who are you engaged to?Copy !req
180. - To me.
- Yeah.Copy !req
181. We're engaged.Copy !req
182. Hey, May 11th, save the date...Copy !req
183. because Kenny Powers
is definitely coming to my wedding.Copy !req
184. You can throw out the first pitch.Copy !req
185. What's up?Copy !req
186. I'm Kenny Powers,
I'll be your new PE teacher...Copy !req
187. till Coach Booth's back is fixed.Copy !req
188. Yeah, I'm famous.
La-di-da, big fucking deal.Copy !req
189. Now, at this time I'd like to
field any questions anybody has.Copy !req
190. This is the time to do it.Copy !req
191. - You. Big kid.
- Do we have to run the mile?Copy !req
192. I'm talking about me.Copy !req
193. I want— These are questions
about me personally as a superstar.Copy !req
194. You know, you got this moment in time here...Copy !req
195. with an American icon, you gonna waste it
asking a question about the fucking mile?Copy !req
196. Who's next? Who's got something
else for me here? You.Copy !req
197. When you did steroids,
did it make your balls shrink?Copy !req
198. Think that's funny?Copy !req
199. How about I show you my balls
and you can tell me if they shrunk?Copy !req
200. No, for your information, I have full-sized balls.Copy !req
201. Next question.Copy !req
202. Is it true you were in jail?Copy !req
203. No, babe, rehab.Copy !req
204. - That you hurt yourself?
- No, I didn't hurt myself.Copy !req
205. Coach Booth says after back surgery,
he has to go to rehab.Copy !req
206. Oh, okay. Yeah, I hurt myself.Copy !req
207. I hurt my nose.Copy !req
208. All right, I got time for one more. Timid kid.Copy !req
209. My dad said you ruined baseball.Copy !req
210. You know what? I can already
tell that I don't like you.Copy !req
211. And I'm probably not gonna like you no matter
how many pull-ups or pushups you do.Copy !req
212. If anybody wants to pick on
anybody in class, aim for him...Copy !req
213. because I ain't watching.Copy !req
214. Had to be the worst first date ever. In my life.Copy !req
215. - And that is why I don't drink.
- That's why I love you.Copy !req
216. I don't mean to break up the good time here,
but I just saw two boys raping a sixth grader.Copy !req
217. - Oh, my God! Who?
- Raping.Copy !req
218. - Yeah. I'm just kidding.
- Kenny. Where?Copy !req
219. - You mind if I pony up in here?
- Oh, sure, have a seat.Copy !req
220. I don't know if you've met everybody yet, or not.Copy !req
221. But— Of course, you already know
Ms. Buchanon.Copy !req
222. And then we got Mr. Nesbitt,
our drama teacher,Copy !req
223. Mrs. Jones, she teaches English,
and our band teacher, Mr. Janowski.Copy !req
224. Oh, we— We already know each other too.Copy !req
225. - We do?
- Yeah, it's me, Stevie.Copy !req
226. Stevie Janowski.Copy !req
227. We met— We went to high school together.Copy !req
228. - I was a drum major.
- What the fuck is that?Copy !req
229. Oh, I lead the whole marching band.Copy !req
230. I wore a cape in sophomore year.Copy !req
231. Sorry. Nothing.Copy !req
232. I've got a lot of memories in my life...Copy !req
233. and sometimes you kind of
have to dump the small ones...Copy !req
234. to make room for the bigger ones.Copy !req
235. But sometimes when you try
to dump the smaller ones...Copy !req
236. you think they're gone, but they're not.
They're sitting there, waiting to pick up...Copy !req
237. exactly where they left off.Copy !req
238. No matter if there are new memories
standing in their way or not.Copy !req
239. Personally, I hate it when new memories
get in the way of old ones. I know.Copy !req
240. All right, let me get this straight.
I'm gonna pay for a blow job...Copy !req
241. and I gotta pay for
a goddamn hotel room too?Copy !req
242. That just seems like I'm spending
too much money for nothing.Copy !req
243. You can just get over here.
I can just do the blow job here.Copy !req
244. Yeah. But, hey, this one is done too.Copy !req
245. - You can take that as well.
- Thank you.Copy !req
246. And can I wear the Scream mask?
The mask from Scream?Copy !req
247. When I do you from behind?Copy !req
248. Hello?Copy !req
249. Hey, Cassie.Copy !req
250. Your cell phone blows.Copy !req
251. It's crazy just, like, being out
in the real working world...Copy !req
252. working a real job.
Getting out of the house. It exhausts you.Copy !req
253. - It does. It's exhausting.
- Yeah.Copy !req
254. If you could focus
on keeping your area clean...Copy !req
255. - ... I'd appreciate that.
- Okay, no problem.Copy !req
256. Cassie, can I ask you a question?
Hypothetical.Copy !req
257. Okay. When you were engaged
to get married to Dustin...Copy !req
258. if somebody else would have asked you out,
like, what would you have said?Copy !req
259. Well, I was pregnant when Dustin
asked me to marry him, so...Copy !req
260. Right, who's gonna wanna stick that?Copy !req
261. Okay, well, let's pretend
that you weren't preggers...Copy !req
262. you were just normal.
And then a dude asked you out.Copy !req
263. Okay. Well...Copy !req
264. Well, Kenny, I think I would say no.
I mean, it's true love.Copy !req
265. You know, when one heart
connects with another heart...Copy !req
266. it's sort of magical.Copy !req
267. - I really hope for you someday—
- Goddamn it.Copy !req
268. No! No, off! Get down!Copy !req
269. Get your ass down right now!Copy !req
270. Hop off there, Blond Ambition Tour!Copy !req
271. - Kenny, you cannot talk to my son that way!
- Get out of here.Copy !req
272. He's got doo-doo and chocolate over his hands,
ruining my handlebars.Copy !req
273. - What's going on?
- Wayne's on his Jet Ski.Copy !req
274. - That's why you're swearing?
- I will continue to swear, Dustin.Copy !req
275. This Jet Ski ain't a goddamn toy!Copy !req
276. - Yes, it is.
- Know what would happen...Copy !req
277. if he dry accelerated this Jet Ski
on land? He would have ruined it.Copy !req
278. If you're really strapped
for cash, sell the Jet Ski.Copy !req
279. I don't tell you what to do with your money,
don't tell me what to do with mine, okay?Copy !req
280. And Cassie, do not stare at me
with those dead eyes, you Church bitch—Copy !req
281. - Kenny!
- lnstantly I regret saying that.Copy !req
282. That was a horrible thing to say.
It's just, I'm Kenny Powers!Copy !req
283. And I'm very upset with how
I'm acting right now!Copy !req
284. I just have a very hard time
expressing my emotions...Copy !req
285. and I can't stop from yelling!Copy !req
286. So I am very sorry,
I don't mean to offend you, Wayne.Copy !req
287. You have fucking pissed me off...Copy !req
288. but I'm very upset right now!
So I'm gonna go ahead and go.Copy !req
289. But I'm not gonna stop yelling
because then that'll mean I lost the fight.Copy !req
290. So please leave a key under the mat,
I love y'all very much.Copy !req
291. - Peace out!
- Where you going?Copy !req
292. I'm going to Sha-Booms!Copy !req
293. I know you.Copy !req
294. I seen your ass on TV.Copy !req
295. It ain't often we get many stars in here.Copy !req
296. Stars kind of make me, oh, how do I say it?Copy !req
297. A little wet in my pussy.Copy !req
298. That's one way to say it, yeah.Copy !req
299. Hell, no, Tracy. Get out, get out.
Get the fuck out of here.Copy !req
300. Fuck you, Clegg, I'm just talking.Copy !req
301. Besides, I just need a little TLC.Copy !req
302. What you need is a shit ton of Valtrex.Copy !req
303. Now get the fuck out. Go!Copy !req
304. Go! Get!Copy !req
305. Okay, that's nice. Okay.Copy !req
306. Powers, step into my office.
Let's do some blow.Copy !req
307. Finally, motherfucker.Copy !req
308. That was basically college for me, just...Copy !req
309. you know, touring with Widespread
all across the USA.Copy !req
310. I don't know much about those guys.
I never got into them much.Copy !req
311. Oh, man, I'll burn you some shit,
just the choice nugs.Copy !req
312. Yeah. Sounds great. I would like that.
I like CDs.Copy !req
313. I'm fucking burning up, back here.Copy !req
314. I've been waiting the whole time to have
good time. I'm having the shittiest time.Copy !req
315. I know, dude. It's so good to see you.
We may be here now, but we were free.Copy !req
316. - Still free.
- They can't take that away.Copy !req
317. April Buchanon, she works at the—Copy !req
318. - April Big Cannons?
- Yep.Copy !req
319. She's engaged to the fucking principal.Copy !req
320. - This fucking dipshit that wants to be me, man.
- I mean, this girl is just a blip on the radar.Copy !req
321. - Yeah.
- It's like two big old fucking poppers...Copy !req
322. attached to a fucking sellout, dude.Copy !req
323. So, Kenny, how are you enjoying
working here at Jefferson Davis?Copy !req
324. It's awesome.Copy !req
325. Kenny, I've called you here
for something rather serious.Copy !req
326. Kind of sad.Copy !req
327. Coach Booth died this morning.
They're not sure, but they think...Copy !req
328. he was taking too many of the pain pills
the doctors gave him.Copy !req
329. Shit. You can die from that?Copy !req
330. Look, I know you're a free agent...Copy !req
331. but since Coach Booth isn't coming back
I was just wondering if maybe...Copy !req
332. you wanted to come
to this team full-time.Copy !req
333. I'd love to add you to the permanent roster.Copy !req
334. At least for the rest of the year.Copy !req
335. I mean, these kids could benefit from having
a star athlete such as yourself around...Copy !req
336. and it could be good for you as well.Copy !req
337. I'm talking health insurance, 401(k)...Copy !req
338. and in a few years you'll have tenure.Copy !req
339. You don't find a lot of ball players with tenure.Copy !req
340. Sleep on it, okay? You don't have to
make up your mind right now.Copy !req
341. - You want a smoothie?
- No, I'm straight.Copy !req
342. You know, I took April's virginity.Copy !req
343. What's that?Copy !req
344. I said, I don't want a— I don't want a smoothie.Copy !req
345. A lot of people ask me,
"Kenny Powers, you're a giant star...Copy !req
346. you could get any woman.
Have you ever paid for sex?"Copy !req
347. And the answer is yes, I have.
Several times, in fact.Copy !req
348. And it's actually kind of cool.
You can negotiate practically anything.Copy !req
349. And sometimes, even just
do stuff in the moment...Copy !req
350. you never agreed to pay for,
it goes by without argument.Copy !req
351. You wanna know about relationships?Copy !req
352. I know all there is to know.
Just ask my second wife, Tina.Copy !req
353. Yeah, she was a stripper.
If Montel Williams was...Copy !req
354. to talk shit some more, he can go fuck
himself because those charges were dropped.Copy !req
355. I think that's Mr. Powers.Copy !req
356. - There he is.
- Yeah.Copy !req
357. Sure, I've been called a xenophobe.
But the truth is, I'm not.Copy !req
358. I feel that America is the best country...Copy !req
359. and all the other countries aren't as good.
That used to be called patriotism.Copy !req
360. - What is that?
- It's Kenny.Copy !req
361. How do you know?Copy !req
362. Because I know.Copy !req
363. Dustin, I know it is our Christ-given duty
to help out family...Copy !req
364. but can't we just kill him instead?Copy !req
365. I'm the older brother.Copy !req
366. No, I can't kill him...Copy !req
367. but I can lay his ass out.Copy !req
368. Wake the neighborhood up tonight, huh?Copy !req
369. Fucking burning this
motherfucking house down.Copy !req
370. - What the hell are you doing?
- Hey, Dustin. Look at me. I'm a fucking icon!Copy !req
371. - You're fucking up my siding.
- Man, fuck your siding.Copy !req
372. God's taking a dump on my face. The love
of my life doesn't want to have sex with me...Copy !req
373. she's getting married to some
smoothie-eating fairy.Copy !req
374. The only job op I got is teaching
a bunch of fucking piss pants...Copy !req
375. how to tie their shoes!Copy !req
376. This is me, Dustin, take a picture.Copy !req
377. I know the last few years have been tough.
But come on, man.Copy !req
378. Now you gotta live with us regular folks? Big deal.
You act like it's a prison sentence.Copy !req
379. Sorry life here ain't the glitz
and glamour you're used to...Copy !req
380. but you can't just run around
acting like a baby.Copy !req
381. You know, you used to be someone
I liked being around, and now you're not.Copy !req
382. And that's fucking sad, man.Copy !req
383. I mean, you just nailed it.
You just hit it on the head.Copy !req
384. - You're saying I gotta get back on top again.
- I'm saying you need to stop being an asshole.Copy !req
385. Yeah, man, I gotta remember
that I'm a winner, man.Copy !req
386. I need to remember that I am
better than everybody else.Copy !req
387. - That's not what I'm saying at all.
- Fuck, man. I'm a bullet-proof tiger, dude.Copy !req
388. If everyone in this town has forgotten
who I am, it's time I remind them.Copy !req
389. Maybe it's time I remind everybody
just who the fuck Kenny Powers is!Copy !req
390. Knock that shit off.Copy !req
391. Man, brother, don't be sad, okay?
Don't be bad.Copy !req
392. It's me. Your brother.Copy !req
393. You've helped me see the light.
Now I'm gonna help you.Copy !req
394. You see that Jet Ski?Copy !req
395. Selling it. I'm selling the Jet Ski.Copy !req
396. - Bullshit.
- Bullshit nothing, man. That Jet Ski is a toy...Copy !req
397. it's a distraction. And right now,
Kenny Powers does not need that.Copy !req
398. Kenny Powers needs to focus, okay?Copy !req
399. Besides, man, that can help your family,
it can help pay for bills.Copy !req
400. Kenny Powers is back!Copy !req
401. Excuse me, students,
for this morning announcement.Copy !req
402. The Junior Hog Farm Committee...Copy !req
403. will hold an organizational
meeting after school.Copy !req
404. - The yearbook money is now—
- Get out of the way.Copy !req
405. - Hop up, dickweed.
- Hey!Copy !req
406. Is this thing on?Copy !req
407. I just push the fucking button?
Oh, they can hear me right now?Copy !req
408. Hello, school, can you hear me?
They can hear me?Copy !req
409. Good morning, students...Copy !req
410. teachers, faculty members,
lunch ladies, janitors.Copy !req
411. This is Kenny Powers...Copy !req
412. professional baseball player.Copy !req
413. And I got something I wanna say.Copy !req
414. A lot of you motherfuckers think you know
who Kenny Powers is.Copy !req
415. Well, I'm here today to tell ya'll
you don't know shit.Copy !req
416. There comes a time in every
man's life when he's got...Copy !req
417. to take a look at himself in the mirror
and decide just exactly who he is.Copy !req
418. Well, I've come to that crossroads
and I have decided...Copy !req
419. Kenny Powers is a man.Copy !req
420. Kenny Powers is an athlete.Copy !req
421. Kenny Powers is a lover.Copy !req
422. But the most he is...Copy !req
423. I mean the thing that
Kenny Powers is the most...Copy !req
424. is a goddamn champion.Copy !req
425. And the one thing a champion
does not do is fucking quit.Copy !req
426. A true champion faces his enemies
and he conquers them.Copy !req
427. Okay. Maybe we should—Copy !req
428. And that is why I'm here today to tell you all...Copy !req
429. that Kenny Powers is officially...Copy !req
430. accepting the position of PE coach...Copy !req
431. here at Jefferson Davis Middle School.Copy !req
432. That is until the majors call me back up.Copy !req
433. So let's get the teaching on!Copy !req
434. - I'm out!
- Okay.Copy !req
435. Settle down, everyone. That was Mr. Powers
using some language that a bald eagle never uses.Copy !req
436. All right, everybody, show's over.Copy !req
437. Let's get back to work.Copy !req
438. - Ms. Buchanon?
- Yes, honey.Copy !req
439. Where the fuck is that dude going?Copy !req
440. It's still first period.Copy !req
441. Fuck you, Kenny! You piece of shit!Copy !req