Drawn Together 3x6

Carlos Mencia as King of Mexico (voice) • Cree Summer as Queen of Mexico (voice)

Captain Hero is desperate to hang out with the cool kids like Spanky, Clara and Foxxy, while Foxxy is desperate to save the world from a meteor. In the meantime, Ling-Ling takes up cockfighting in order to bribe the Mexican police.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. last week ondrawn together...

2. The housemates playedthe newlywed game.

3. I would have to say up the butt.

4. Toot and ling-Ling won an exciting trip to mexico.

5. They stumbled upon the girl of their dreams.

6. Looking for a little fiesta?

7. Then things went from bad to mexican.

8. We killed her!

9. Miss macho, looks like we've got ourselves

10. Anuno, dos, tres, with a possiblecuatro.

11. You two are going to jail for a long time

12. Unless you are willing to pay up.

13. Oh, here we go again. How much?

14. Well, for killing the most beautiful woman in all of mexico,

15. Next to edward james olmos,

16. I'd say, uh...

17. 500 billion pesos!

18. I'll give you a week to come up with the cash.

19. Whoa, slow down. We're not in rush.

20. 500 billion pesos!

21. Jesuãšãšs cristo!

22. I'll trade you 2 reverse holofoil pikachus

23. For your black star ling-Ling.

24. Ooh! That's a battle monster of a good deal.

25. Hey, look. The "cool kids" are back.

26. We've all been living together

27. In this house for a while now.

28. And it seems we've divided

29. Into 2 very separate cliques.

30. We rule! We rule!

31. Wow. Those guys are cool.

32. I'm gonna go hang out with them.

33. Um, those guys are assholes.

34. We're your friends, capt—

35. Captain hero?

36. Hey, dudes, the fast and the furious, eh?

37. You guys wanna see a picture of my sister's tits?

38. Hey, let's pants the dork.

39. Oof!

40. Dude, we totally pantsed him.

41. If i can't be cool, i'm running away

42. And going somewhere you'll never find me.

43. Never!

44. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.

45. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.

46. To stay out of jail,

47. Ling-Ling and i needed pesos.

48. We were willing to do anything to get 'em.

49. Come on! Do me! Do me!

50. You know you want it!

51. sorry, my dear,

52. But even a filthy, pathetic donkey has standards.

53. Fair enough.

54. Thank you.

55. Hey! Where the hell are all you mexicans going?

56. To the grande coliseum!

57. Aw, my darling queen,

58. Another beautiful day for a cockfight, eh?

59. I love being the king of mexico.

60. I'm still the only queen i know

61. That has to crap in the bushes behind their castle.

62. No! No bedtime!

63. No sleep!

64. Eat!

65. Is there no chicken man enough to defeat el clucko?

66. One billion pesos will get us a lot closer to paying off that cop.

67. Are you thinkin' what i'm thinkin'?

68. Uh...

69. Up the butt?

70. Even better.

71. Caw caw! Caw caw!

72. My chicken challenges el clucko!

73. clucko!

74. Oh, that ling-Ling is such a mighty warrior.

75. ¡â¡bravo! ¡â¡bravo!

76. We won! We won!

77. Suck my balls, mom! I'm somebody now.

78. Ah, this is so boring.

79. You know, when hero's not around,

80. Dungeons & dragons seems to be a lot less about hand jobs

81. And a lot more about trolls.

82. This is all their fault. Guh!

83. Because of you guys, the best dungeon master

84. North of the fire swamps of geldar ran away crying.

85. Standing up for your dorky friend, huh?

86. I think this calls for a little...

87. Tickle torture.

88. Foxxy, why aren't you tickling xandir?

89. This ain't cool.

90. This is just as uncool as the rodney king ticklin'.

91. And lastly tonight, reports of a 5,000-Ton meteor hurtling toward earth

92. Turned out to be completely true.

93. Oh, lordy!

94. Captain hero, where are you?

95. I need to go find that asshole captain hero.

96. This must be where hero growed up.

97. Captain hero, i been looking all over for you.

98. Whenever i'm sad, i come back here

99. To the kindly farming couple

100. Who have raised me since i was a baby.

101. We've never se en this man before in our lives.

102. I think he broke my arm.

103. Damn it, hero,

104. There's a meteor headin' for earth.

105. What's the point of saving the earth

106. If i can't be one of the cool kids?

107. I just want to stay here with mom and pop.

108. He made me wear lipstick.

109. I have an idea.

110. What if i pretend you my boyfriend,

111. And then you will be one of the cool kids?

112. You would do that for me?

113. Just until you popular.

114. But then you got to stop the meteor.

115. Deal!

116. Aah!

117. Ethel, you gotta get me to the hospital.

118. Hospital. Right.

119. You didn't have to do that for me.

120. I didn't do it for you I did it for us.

121. Hi-Yah!

122. There is something special about this ling-Ling.

123. He thinks outside the bun.

124. our plan was working great.

125. We were making more money than a televangelist

126. In a region full of impressionable retards.

127. For more information about this joke,

128. Please visit the south.

129. Our next guest has brought new excitement

130. To our national pastime of cockfighting.

131. This cock is a natural pecker, huh?

132. right, kevin?

133. Right, kevin?

134. Oh, i dream about killing you.

135. Please welcome el pollo insano, ling-Ling.

136. Great to have you on the show.

137. You know, i think we have a clip from your last cockfight.

138. Now, ling-Ling, what do you say to your critics

139. Who claim that cockfighting is a cruel and inhumane sport, hmm?

140. R, well, yeah, for you, because you're a kille

141. But the chickens you battle

142. Are skittish, unbelievably stupid animals

143. Who don't even want to fight.

144. Boy, am i talking about chickens or the french?

145. right, kevin?

146. And i pretend homeless people are you,

147. And i burn 'em.

148. Gosh, i don't know about this, foxxy.

149. The cool kids are never going to let me play meth lab with them.

150. Of course they will.

151. You just got to look cool.

152. Here. Try some of this mousse.

153. Ooh, wow. You clean up good.

154. Real good, hero calrissian.

155. Who's the cool-Looking guy?

156. Wait. Isn't he that dork, captain hero?

157. Haven't you heard? Captain hero is my new boyfriend.

158. Well, you know, if foxxy thinks he's cool,

159. He must be cool, seeing as how foxxy's all black and stuff.

160. Hey, hero, you wanna pour the ammonia in?

161. Do i? And how!

162. Wow. That is so cool.

163. I haven't slept in 46 days.

164. Are you excited to behold another glorious cockfight, mi amor?

165. I growmuybored with all this refined culture and exquisite luxury.

166. You win this fight, ling-Ling,

167. And we'll have enough moolah

168. To pay off the cops

169. And get back to the land of indoor toilets.

170. Hu-Ahh!

171. Chickens are a peaceful race.

172. Race, race, race.

173. How dare you disgrace our national pastime?

174. Royal elite guards, take them to the dungeon! Now!

175. Ohh, this country sucks.

176. Oh, yeah, that's right.

177. Now the captain files electronically.

178. Wow. That is so cool.

179. You're so much cooler than lobot.

180. after hanging out with hero

181. For a few days, i gots to wondering,

182. Was i pretendin' to be hero's girlfriend to save the earth,

183. Or was i pretendin' to save the earth

184. To be hero's girlfriend?

185. Hey, hero calrissian,

186. Why don't we takes a ride over to inspiration point?

187. I got a better idea.

188. E! Let's throw pig feces at the gay kid's hous

189. That is a hilarious prank,

190. Because gays don't want to get anywhere near doody.

191. Let's go!

192. Ha ha ha! You suck!

193. Eat shit, dork! Ha ha!

194. you've got poo on your house!

195. Dude, that was awesome.

196. Now let's go home before the cops come.

197. Huh?

198. Gaah!

199. You idiot.

200. Because you wouldn't kill some stupid chicken,

201. We're going to die.

202. come with me.

203. Aah! Aah!

204. don't be frightened. I'm here to help you.

205. I just made my voice like that

206. because i thought it went better with the cloak.

207. now go. Save yourself.

208. Because

209. you've captured my heart.

210. if the king catches you, he will kill you.

211. You must leave swiftly and gracefully,

212. Like the national bird of mexico,

213. The donkey.

214. Hey, what about me?

215. Don't worry.

216. I thought we were gonna be caged up until we died,

217. Like those stupid chickens.

218. Oww, kittens.

219. Screw that. I'm gonna watch my own back from now own.

220. If only i could watch my own feet.

221. zebras...

222. go.

223. Later, asshole.

224. Meep meep.

225. Jesus, how long's this thing been dead?

226. Hey, hero, i heard what you did to xandir's house.

227. That was some pretty sweet turd tossing.

228. Oh, really?

229. I know you're foxxy's girl,

230. But if things change, give me a call.

231. And if things don't work out with clara,

232. You still got my digits.

233. Uh, wow. Ok.

234. We better take off.

235. Yeah, some assholes threw shit on our house,

236. And we gotta go clean it up.

237. Hey, papa, i gots us tickets

238. To go see bell biv devoe tomorrow night.

239. Listen, foxxy, the deal was that we'd stay together

240. Until i was popular, and i'm pretty damn popular now.

241. Well, you not that popular.

242. Oh, yeah? Smell this.

243. spanky?

244. Foxxy, i am dumping your ass!

245. Captain hero just dumped that girl.

246. He dumped her.

247. I would be devastated.

248. Hey, ladies, what does captain hero have in common

249. With lance armstrong's left testicle?

250. We are both single.

251. And we're sensitive to cold.

252. Ooh! And then i ducked!

253. And whaah chaah!

254. With the deadly feather punch, i killed the mighty ling-Ling!

255. Wow! I wish i could've been there.

256. When did we start talking?

257. Ling-Ling: ping chowah!

258. Raah!

259. It's ling-Ling!

260. He's back from the dead!

261. What? Barry the chicken

262. Lied about killing ling-Ling?

263. And i b-B-Bet he didn't fuck shakira either.

264. Kill the liar!

265. Ping chowah!

266. leaf blower.

267. But we're chickens. We don't fight.

268. All right, ling-Ling stood up to the king for us

269. And spared my life.

270. Now it is our turn to stand up for ourselves.

271. Barry the chicken' s right.

272. If you cut off our beaks, do we not bleed?

273. If you chop off our heads, do we not run around

274. For, like, 30 seconds or a minute?

275. coliseum grande.

276. so i was all alone at the dance, and even worse,

277. The meteor was about to smash into the earth,

278. And if the moviedeep impact was any indication of what would happen next,

279. The whole planet was about to become boring and unwatchable.

280. Captain hero, you gots to stop that meteor.

281. Can't you see i'm already one knuckle deep into fifth base?

282. Uhh! Mmm.

283. Ooh.

284. Shoo. Gaah!

285. That's it.

286. Hold up, everybody.

287. Now, i know y'all think captain hero is real cool.

288. Oh, yeah. Cool.

289. Yeah. He's the coolest eve r.

290. But he ain't.

291. No. No, he's not cool.

292. I don't know what i was thinking.

293. I fooled y'all into thinking hero was cool

294. By pretending to be his girlfriend.

295. So he would stop that meteor.

296. gasp.

297. Wait. I can explain.

298. Oh, really? Then explain this, yo.

299. Spanky, clara,

300. Steve from long island.

301. Oh, hey, man, you were right.

302. The, uh, cool kids are assholes.

303. You shit on my house, man.

304. I know, i know.

305. You shit on my house.

306. Yeah. You said that already.

307. And to think i let him get to seventh base with me.

308. Ahh.

309. What the...

310. deliverer.

311. You don't scare me.

312. I have taken dumps with sharper beaks than you.

313. Hi-Yah!

314. Pi-Chah!

315. You will never defeat me as long as i have my magic potion.

316. ai, dios miãão.

317. He's gonna drink the worm.

318. You don't know what happens when you drink the worm?

319. He doesn't kno w what happens.

320. Oh, you're gonna love this.

321. By the power of mencia!

322. I don't have to wear pants anymore.

323. Oh!

324. He's all yours, kid.

325. Yee-Ha! Whoo-Hoo!

326. Hey, is that speedy?

327. Now is our time, my chicken brethren.

328. Attack!

329. Oh! Remember me as i was,

330. Drunk and lazy. Ohh!

331. Captain hero: i was an even bigger loser

332. Than a christian scientist in a sensible religion contest.

333. Even xandir was giving me the cold shoulder.

334. hey, xandir,

335. Why don't you come over here

336. And hang out with us cool kids?

337. Me? Really?

338. Oh, my god.

339. They're going to give xandir a wedgie.

340. wedgie, wedgie, wedgie.

341. Hold it right there.

342. There'll be no more wedgies under my watch.

343. Don't you guys remember we all used to hang out together?

344. We're all just dorks.

345. I mean, clara, you like science, right?

346. Well, if you consider

347. Biochemistry a science.

348. And, steve from long island,

349. You have one too many arms that we haven't noticed until now, no?

350. Yeah. Check it.

351. And, spanky, you're voiced by adam carolla.

352. Yeah, i guess i am.

353. Well, as long as the jig is up, can i talk in my normal voice?

354. so the—My thing is, uh...

355. Uh, my—I just sort of acknowledge it?

356. Uh, i'll give you a few alternative, uh, ones or whatever.

357. Look, what i'm trying to say is

358. It's ok to be a dork,

359. But it's not ok to forget your real friends

360. Or the black chick that you could bang for a happy meal.