1. Boy, sis, i sure do
love quackers cereal.
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2. Hey, bushes don't walk.
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3. Nice try, quackers.
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4. You know
quackers cereal is for—
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5. Shut thefuck up
and hand over
the cereal box!
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6. I need that upc code!
Aah!
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7. Y.
Quackers,
you're acting craz
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8. I'll show you
fuckin' crazy!
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9. Uhh!
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10. 4 down. One to go.
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11. Holy quap!
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12. Ehh.
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13. Tell me where
the upc codes are.
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14. Never. You'll have
to kill me first.
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15. Ooh. Looks like someone
hasn't been meeting
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16. His daily requirement
of iron. Soggies.
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17. Aah! No!
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18. Oh, man. Quackers
is really getting
what he deserves.
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19. Yeah. But am i?
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20. I'm so telling mom
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21. with the recent death
of beloved cereal
mascot quackers,
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22. A worldwide search has begun
for his replacement,
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23. Attracting cartoon
characters from even
the most obscure tv shows.
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24. It's always been
my dream to be
a cereal mascot
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25. And make kids happ—
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26. Well, i wanna be a mascot
for the fame and the fort—
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27. Babba-Buey. Babba-Buey.
Babba-Buey. Babba-Buey.
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28. when quackers'
replacement is found,
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29. Rainbow smoke will rise
from the smokestacks.
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30. In other news,
i have throat cancer,
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31. And i'm not doing well.
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32. And now back to your
regularly scheduled program.
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33. Is this where
the auditions are?
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34. Don't be shy. Come in.
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35. I'm franken berry,
the president
of the cereal empire.
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36. This is tony tiger.
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37. And of course you know
violent retard,
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38. From violent
retard flakes.
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39. There isn't any cereal
called violent
retard flakes.
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40. you tell him.
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41. Ok,
miss braunstein.
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42. Tell us
why you think
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43. The new face
of quackers cereal
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44. Should be a fat,
disgusting woman.
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45. Because mary lou retton
sold a buttload of wheaties.
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46. Maybe this is
the retardation talking,
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47. But i think toot
is perfect.
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48. Then it's berry official.
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49. Congratulations.
You're the new face
of quackers cereal.
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50. You're goddamn
right i am,
you assbags.
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51. Ooh, you're welcome.
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52. You start first thing
tomorrow morning,
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53. Barring of course
the sudden entrance
of someone better.
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54. hey,
where's the room
for the auditions?
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55. uh,
down the hallway
to the left.
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56. No,
the other left.
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57. Why are you
sitting down?
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58. I get confused.
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59. Aw, for god's sake
, just follow
the arrows.
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60. it's locked.
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61. You just
gotta pull it.
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62. I am pulling it.
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63. Try it again.
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64. No,
don't sit down
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65. Here.
Let me do it.
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66. You're right.
It is locked.
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67. Aren't you boner
fromgrowing pains?
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68. Yeah. It's always
nice to meet a fan.
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69. I wouldn't say i'm a fan
I just watch a lot of tv.
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70. Hey, you know
who's here?
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71. You ever watch
small wonder?
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72. No. Never heard of it.
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73. You've never seen
small wonder?
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74. It's about
a girl with powers.
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75. I think you're thinking
ofout of this world.
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76. Nah, nah.
Small wonder.
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77. It's about
a robot girl
who could stop time.
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78. Are you sure that wasn't
out of this world?
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79. Yeah. Out of this
worldwas the one
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80. Where the girl's d
ad was an alien.
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81. Oh, right. Right.
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82. Uh, anyway,
she works upstairs
in marketing.
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83. Cool.
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84. Yep, yep.
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85. Oh. Here, look.
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86. The door's
not locked.
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87. You're just
supposed to push it.
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88. Whee!
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89. Hold up!
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90. What's this
all of a sudden?
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91. I'm wacky
wooldoor sockbat!
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92. Ok, this is definitely
the retardation talking,
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93. But me want hug!
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94. He's gooood enough
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95. Yaah!
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96. Toot, you're out.
Wha?
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97. Wooldoor sockbat,
you're the new
quackers mascot.
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98. Congratulations.
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99. Whee!
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100. Hey, hey, hey.
Am i too late
for the audition?
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101. Oh, way too late.
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102. Once we make
a decision,
it's final.
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103. Ahh, quack attack.
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104. Wooldoor sockbat
from torrance,
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105. I'm glad
you could make it.
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106. Sugar, honey,
i want you to meet
the new kid on the block.
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107. Hi. I'm wooldoor.
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108. Hey, wooldoor.
I'm sugar bear.
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109. Can i ask you
a question?
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110. Do you work out?
Yeah.
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111. What do you bench?
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112. You tell first.
You first.
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113. Same time.
Ready?
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114. 1, 2, 3.
1, 2, 3.
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115. You didn't say anything.
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116. Neither did you.
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117. ™ª
♪♪ that bee is stacked out ♪
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118. ™ª
♪♪ i'm gonna get some... ♪
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119. Hey, has anyone
seen jewel?
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120. Oh, no.
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121. Hey, snap, crackle,
that's my wife!
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122. Me
i'm done with you, pop
These guys don't need
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123. To crap on their bellies
to get off.
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124. Wooldoor, i'd like you
to meet the cap'n.
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125. So, frank says you've
got a great big cock.
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126. Really?
May i see it?
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127. Ok.
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128. Thank you, wooldoor.
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129. you sons of bitches!
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130. This was supposed
to be all mine—
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131. The cereal;
the crappy friends;
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132. The word-For-Word
boogie nightsparody,
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133. If you can call lazy
plagiarism a parody—
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134. But you gave it tohim
instead of me!
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135. Soggies.
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136. Like a woman on a date
with a jew,
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137. You're gonna pay!
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138. Wait! I'm sorry if—
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139. Don't worry
about her, kid.
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140. She's just jealous
because you're a star.
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141. Here.
Try some crunchberries.
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142. Mmm. Hmm.
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143. Fuckin' "a," dude.
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144. I can stay hard
in milk. Whee!
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145. Aah!
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146. Screw all you
cereal dickholes.
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147. You're all gonna pay,
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148. As sure
as my name is too—
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149. Toot brau—
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150. Au—
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151. Stei—
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152. Ein!
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153. Esquire.
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154. Goddamn it.
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155. Somebody call
the quops!
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156. What the?
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157. Ohh.
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158. Quackers?
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159. I thought
you were dead.
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160. I don't have
much time.
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161. They fed me
alqua-Seltzer.
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162. What happened?
Why were you in there?
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163. They're looking
for these.
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164. Keepin' these
in my ass
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165. Seemed like
a much better idea
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166. When they
weren't in my ass.
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167. Take these
4 golden upcs.
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168. Hey, rabbit, i need
the news, not the weather.
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169. When joined with
the hidden fifth upc,
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170. They would
unlock a secret
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171. That will destroy
the evil cereal empire.
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172. A secret that can
bring down those bastards
who humiliated me?
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173. I like the sound of that.
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174. Here's another cool sound.
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175. Aw, quackers,
you're with quist now.
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176. I'll always remember
the good times.
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177. And i met trix rabbit.
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178. And did you know that
sugar bear can squat 350?
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179. And the mansion is awesome!
3 tvs, a water slide,
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180. And nobody sodomizes you
if you accidentally
sit in their chair.
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181. Is you on somethin'?
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182. Just a few
crunchberries.
It's no big.
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183. Hey, you cereal mascot
dickbag,
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184. Toot braunstein
is gonna destroy you and
the entire cereal empire
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185. With these
special upc codes.
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186. There's nothin' spec
ial about upc codes.
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187. Why, they're everywher
e and have been
since 1971.
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188. First suggested by
wallace fritz in 1922,
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189. The uniform
product code, or upc,
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190. Was developed—
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191. I like to pee on things.
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192. You don't understand.
Quackers was still alive,
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193. And he told me to find
the last upc code,
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194. And then he died
in my arms.
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195. You're just jealous
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196. Because you didn't
have what it takes
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197. To grace the cover
of a cereal box.
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198. Tookie, can't you just
be happy for mapplethorpe?
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199. Why don't you assholes
believe me?
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200. And why don't you know
any of our names?
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201. Fine. I can prove to you all
that i'm not lying.
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202. I can take you
to his dead body.
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203. A dead body,
you say?
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204. Come on, everybody.
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205. I'll take you to see
quackers' dead body
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206. On the carousel
of progress.
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207. What?
Quackers is gone!
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208. You promised me
a dead body!
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209. He blew up right here.
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210. A-And the cage, it was
right over there.
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211. franken berry?
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212. Oh, it's
franken berry now,
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213. Because
back in hebrew school,
it was franken stein.
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214. Assimilation
is our people's
biggest enemy.
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215. I know.
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216. I know you moved
quacker's body,
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217. And i'm gonna
bring you all down
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218. As soon as i find
the last upc.
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219. Upcs? Give me them!
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220. Oh. I mean, may i
take a gander? Hmm?
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221. Never!
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222. Oh, goddamn it.
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223. no.
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224. Where are you,
fifth upc code?
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225. Hmm?
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226. Whaah!
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227. Heh. Silly me.
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228. It's just the cat
that makes
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229. My sand sausage
every morning.
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230. Holy crap!
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231. Give me the upc codes, you.
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232. Never!
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233. someone
after me funyuns.
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234. Toots, you better get
your greasy hooves
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235. Off that midget.
No means no.
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236. You stupid bitch!
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237. He's trying
to kill me!
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238. oh, lordy.
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239. Uhh!
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240. Who the hell
sent you?
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241. They'll be puttin'
pennies on me eyes
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242. Before i tell you
that franken berry sent me
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243. And that
the final upc is hidden
in general mills' tomb.
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244. Ooh. I wasn't
supposed to say that.
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245. Time for
me cyanide marshmallows.
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246. There's one in every box.
Try to find 'em, kids.
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247. Now do you
believe me, foxxy?
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248. I sure do.
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249. We gots to go to
mr. General mills' tom
b.
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250. €™.
somebody comin'’
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251. Aw, man, those things
are so racist.
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252. I mean, what kind
of sick weirdo would
buy one of those?
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253. Seriously.
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254. So, you
wanna go diddle
the new corpse?
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255. Yeah, as long
as she ain't black.
Ha ha ha ha ha!
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256. There it go,
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257. General mill tomb.
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258. Only the worthy may enter.
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259. Aah!
Yaah!
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260. To get to the final upc,
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261. You must answer
these questions.
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262. But beware.
If you answer incorrectly,
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263. Y'all end up like them.
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264. I feel bad
we got it wrong.
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265. Well, you live and learn.
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266. How delicious is
a bowl of franken...
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267. Berry cereal?
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268. Jodeci.
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269. Foxxy got this.
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270. We gonna go with
berry delicious.
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271. Show me "berry delicious."
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272. You are worthy.
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273. There's
general mills!
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274. Damn! I ain't seen
a general that ashy
since colin powell.
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275. Be careful of this one.
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276. He's a little clingy.
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277. That's
the final upc.
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278. We got it.
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279. Now what?
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280. Yaah!
Yaah!
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281. Send in all
5 upc symbols and receive
the secret mystery prize.
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282. Duuuh.
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283. No purchase necessary.
Void where prohibited.
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284. Free housebreaking wee-Wee pads
with each purpose. Bluuh.
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285. Come on. We gots
to send 'em in
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286. Before the frankel
berry stop us.
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287. Thank you, general mills.
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288. I'll always remember
the good times.
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289. Oh, drat.
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290. We must kill toot
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291. Before she mails in
the upcs.
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292. kill toot?
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293. Why would you wanna kill
my fattest friend?
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294. If your friend
manages to send in
those upc codes,
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295. She'll have the power
to take away your fame,
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296. Your money,
your crunchberries.
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297. But i need that
to relax!
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298. That's why
i need your help.
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299. Anything!
Good. Wooldoor,
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300. Now, you know
this toots intimately.
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301. If she had
to mail something,
where would she go?
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302. The post office?
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303. Yes, of course.
The post office.
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304. You've done well and
deserve to be rewarded.
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305. You get to watch me
fuck this filthy whore
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306. And fuck her good.
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307. Oh, cup the balls.
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308. Work the shaft.
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309. Aim for her cocoa puffs,
frankie.
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310. They'll never expect us
to be mailing the upc codes
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311. From the post office.
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312. soggies!
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313. You better strap
your fat ass in.
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314. I'm goin' up.
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315. Ooh. This is hot.
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316. Let's touch dicks.
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317. Pussy!
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318. I'm gonna jump for it!
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319. At last.
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320. Aah!
Yaah!
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321. you cheat, dr. Jones.
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322. Tear it open.
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323. That's it?
A crappy piece
of plastic?
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324. They always look
a lot more able
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325. To bring down
the cereal empire
on the box.
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326. Africa?
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327. I don't even know
what's gonna happen,
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328. And i'm already
offended.
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329. How the hell are we
gonna get to africa?
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330. Ting tao, doctah jones.
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331. Ring-Ring potea mo
nanankora short round.
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332. Come on, guys.
That way.
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333. Oh, my gosh.
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334. American cereals
are mined by child slaves.
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335. Dig 'em.
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336. I said dig 'em.
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337. Mine!
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338. Ohh. You can really
taste the suffering.
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339. We got to free
them child slaves.
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340. Gas, grass,
or ass.
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341. So now you know
the truth.
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342. That's bad news
for you,
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343. Berry bad.
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344. Usin' po'
innocent chil'ren
for slave labor.
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345. Well, that's
more shameful than
our government's
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346. Refusal to sign
the kyoto protocol.
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347. Uh, i mean,
blackety, black, black,
stereotype black.
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348. You happy?
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349. Oh, get over it.
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350. Everything good
in america comes
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351. At the expense
of third-World
children,
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352. Even this
insipid cartoon.
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353. Without them,
drawn together
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354. Would look
like this.
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355. Sweet.
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356. Now i can eat
anything i want.
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357. Now i grow weary
of this nonsense.
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358. As do i, master.
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359. Wooldorf.
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360. Wooldorf is dead.
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361. I am
wooldenberry frankbat.
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362. Oh,
retrieve the toy
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363. And bring it
to me so i can
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364. Destroy it
once and for all.
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365. As you wish.
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366. Ow!
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367. Don't give it to him,
wooldenberry frankbot.
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368. You became a cereal mascot
to make kids happy,
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369. Not to make them slaves.
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370. They're going to destr
oy the cereal empire
and your new life.
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371. Nnn.
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372. Hmm...
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373. Here, my lord.
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374. What the?
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375. Toot, catch!
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376. unh!
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377. What the hell
am i supposed
to do with this?
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378. if you want
to release us,
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379. You have to use the toy
to turn the honeycomb,
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380. And it's big.
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381. yeah, yeah, yeah.
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382. It ain't small
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383. No, no, no.
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384. Wait! Toot!
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385. If you stop
what you're doing,
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386. I'll give you
anything you want,
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387. Even your own cereal.
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388. It is a touching offer and
clearly in my best interest,
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389. But i'm far
too vindictive,
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390. So fuck you, assbags!
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391. No! No!
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392. That takes care
of tha—
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393. Oh, lordy,
i'll be the first girl
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394. Killed by a big,
fat marshmallow
since the chappaquiddick.
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395. Ooh! Wha—
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396. Aah!
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397. The mine is
collapsing!
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398. E!
We're all gonna di
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399. Quick. I know a shortcut.
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400. yay!
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401. On behalf of
all the children,
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402. I would like to thank you
for freeing us from
the cereal mines.
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403. Ok.
What will
our new jobs be?
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404. What you talkin' 'bout,
child slave?
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405. Well, we were making
3 cents an hour,
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406. Which made us
the richest people
in africa.
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407. Oh, dip.
Our families will starve.
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408. Guys, i guess
i lost my way.
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409. Thanks for giving
an old sockbat like me
Copy !req
410. A second chance.
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411. Yep, and i brought down
the cereal industry.
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412. Now to tackle
those breakfast burrito
jackasses.
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413. oh, dip.
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414. Captioned by the national
captioning institute
—Www.Ncicap.Org—
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