1. HELLO. KING.
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2. Princess Clara:
HI, FATHER.
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3. MY DEAR CLARA,
WHAT'S WRONG?
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4. YOU SOUND UPSET.
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5. I DON'T KNOW, FATHER.
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6. IT'S JUST THAT
I FEEL LIKE THERE'S
SOMETHING MISSING.
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7. THE COLORED GIRL'S ROOM?
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8. NO, I MEAN THERE'S
FROM MY LIFE.
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9. I WAS HOPING I'D
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10. WHO I REALLY AM.
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11. YOU ARE A PRINCESS.
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12. DUH!
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13. I KNOW THAT, FATHER,
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14. FOR SO MUCH MORE.
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15. OF COURSE YOU DO.
BECAUSE YOU'RE A PRINCESS,
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16. AND THAT'S
WHAT PRINCESSES DO.
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17. IN FRANCE.
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18. NOW, LET US NEVER SPEAK
OF THIS AGAIN.
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19. YES, FATHER.
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20. THAN OUR FRIENDSHIP.
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21. ON RAINBOW MOUNTAIN.
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22. HEH—
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23. I SAID, "SLEW," RIGHT?
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24. YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY,
CAPTAIN HERO?
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25. ELDER ABUSE?
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26. WELL, YES,
ELDER ABUSE,
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27. DO ANYTHING TOGETHER.
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28. LIKE, YOU KNOW, HANG OUT
OR GO TO THE MALL.
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29. "GO TO THE MALL"?
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30. OF GAY CODE?
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31. FOOL ME ONCE,
SHAME ON YOU.
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32. FOOL ME TWICE,
SHAME ON ME.
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33. NO, NO,
IT'S NOT LIKE THAT.
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34. WE COULD GET SNOW CONES,
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35. OH, AND GET OUR PICTURE
TAKEN WITH SANTA!
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36. OK, FINE.
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37. WHOOPEE! HOO HOO!
GOODY GOODY!
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38. Captain Hero:
I FIGURED, WHAT THE HELL.
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39. MAKE THE GAY KID HAPPY.
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40. BESIDES, I KNOW A CERTAIN
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41. FOR MR. CLAUS.
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42. TO CHEER MYSELF UP,
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43. TO BE WORKING.
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44. SOMETHING MAGICAL,
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45. CHANGE ME FOREVER.
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46. FOCUS!
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47. OK, OK, OK.
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48. GOOD EVENING,
DELIVERY MAN OF PIZZA.
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49. THAT WILL BE $8.46,
PLEASE.
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50. HERE IS YOUR MONEY,
KIND SIR.
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51. OH, THANK YOU—
WAIT A SECOND.
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52. UH, I DON'T REMEMBER
ORDERING THIS PIZZA...
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53. WITH SAUSAGE!
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54. AAH!
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55. YOU SUCK!
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56. I SAID,
"WITH SAUSAGE!"
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57. OOP!
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58. HEY, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING HERE?
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59. Captain Hero:
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60. FROM THE COMMISSIONER.
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61. HELLO. COMMISSIONER?
CAPTAIN HERO HERE.
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62. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.
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63. I'M CAPTAIN HERO,
AND I CAN FLY!
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64. AND I—
DO YOU MIND, FUDGEY?
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65. I'M ON THE PHONE.
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66. I DON'T CARE.
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67. MY A.A. SPONSOR.
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68. I SAID I'M ON THE PHONE!
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69. I'M SORRY, COMMISSIONER.
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70. THAT WAS TOOT.
SHE IS SO ANNOYING.
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71. I, LIKE, LEFT MY CLOTHES
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72. FOR MAYBE 5 MINUTES—
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73. MAYBE—AND SHE SNEAKS IN,
YOU KNOW,
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74. IN THE DRYER.
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75. SO I'M LIKE, "CAN I
WITH YOUR ONE TOWEL?"
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76. AND SHE'S ALL, "NO!"
SO I'M LIKE, "WHATEVER!"
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77. OH, DO YOU HAVE
ANY ROOMMATES, COMMISSIONER?
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78. WHAT? ALADDIN IS ABOUT
TO MAGIC CARPET BOMB ISRAEL?
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79. I'M ON MY WAY!
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80. SORRY, XANDIR,
NO MALL TODAY, GAY FRIEND.
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81. WHY DON'T YOU
LOVE ME, CAPTAIN MORGAN?
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82. HUH? AAH!
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83. OH, NO, YOU'RE BLEEDING.
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84. I'LL SAVE YOU,
CAPTAIN MORGAN.
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85. I COULDN'T STOP THINKING
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86. ABOUT FOXXY, SPANKY,
AND THAT PIZZA MAN.
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87. I NEEDED TO LEARN MORE.
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88. WELL,
THAT'S IT, SPANKY.
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89. WE'S BROKAH
OF THE SAME NAME.
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90. OUR LAST PIZZA PRANK.
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91. WAIT!
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92. YO, PRINCESS, IF YOU'RE
LOOKING FOR THE PIZZA,
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93. YOU'RE TOO LATE.
WE ATE IT ALREADY.
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94. HERE. HERE'S $8.26.
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95. YOU TOO, HUH?
HERE IT IS.
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96. JESUS, SPANKY!
PUT THAT THING AWAY!
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97. WAIT A MINUTE!
TO SEE MY THICK 8!
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98. THAT IS DISGUSTING!
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99. THEN WHAT THE HELL'S
THE MONEY FOR?
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100. HERE, I WANT YOU
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101. WITH THE PIZZA MAN.
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102. "LITTLE GAME"?
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103. DID YOU SAY, "LITTLE GAME"?
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104. OF BATTLESHIP,
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105. THAT'S A LITTLE GAME.
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106. WITH THE PIZZA MAN,
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107. THAT'S A WAY OF LIFE,
MY FRIEND.
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108. IT'S WHO I AM.
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109. THAT LOOK IN SPANKY'S EYE.
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110. I HADN'T SEEN
ANYTHING LIKE IT.
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111. IN MY OWN LIFE.
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112. WAIT!
SPANKY, PLEASE.
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113. TAKE THE MONEY.
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114. I NEED YOU TO.
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115. ALL RIGHT, FINE.
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116. OK, HERE'S HOW IT'S
GONNA GO DOWN.
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117. I'M GONNA
FINISH MY HAIR.
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118. SPANKY,
YOU ORDER THE PIZZA.
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119. AND, CLARA, YOU GO
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120. YOU NEVER FELT SO ALIVE.
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121. MY FIRST NAUGHTY PRANK.
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122. I'VE NEVER FELT SO ALIVE!
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123. WAS SO EXCITED,
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124. I FIGURED I'D GIVE HER
CALL THE PIZZA MAN.
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125. THAT WAS A HUGE MISTAKE.
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126. I MEAN, IT WASN'T
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127. TO ISLAM IN AUGUST OF 2001,
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128. BUT STILL PRETTY BIG.
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129. UM, I WOULD LIKE TO ORDER
ONE LARGE PIZZA.
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130. YES, UH,
WITH DOODY ON IT!
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131. NO! HELLO?
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132. AHEM.
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133. SORRY ABOUT THAT.
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134. WE'LL JUST TAKE
THE PIZZA PLAIN.
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135. JUST PLAIN.
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136. I'M SORRY, SPANKY.
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137. LOOK, FORGET IT. AHEM.
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138. HANDLE IT FROM HERE.
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139. THAT WAY, NOTHING CAN
POSSIBLY GO WRONG.
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140. OH, MY GOD!
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141. INTO MY ROWS!
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142. I CAN'T GET 'EM OUT!
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143. OH, THIS IS SO STUPID.
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144. NOW WHO'S GONNA
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145. ON THE PIZZA?
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146. WHO? COME ON!
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147. OH, MR. SPANKY, PLEASE,
IF YOU WILL ALLOW ME TO.
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148. I CAN DO IT.
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149. NO WAY, JOSÉ!
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150. YOU'LL JUST
SCREW IT UP AGAIN.
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151. COME ON, SPANKY.
GIVE ME A SECOND CHANCE.
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152. DIDN'T YOU GET
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153. DEAD SCHOOLTEACHER'S LIVER?
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154. YOU KNOW, YOU'RE RIGHT.
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155. I'LL LET YOU DO IT.
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156. HERE'S
TO SECOND CHANCES, KID!
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157. WHAT A FIASCO.
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158. IN 30 MINUTES OR LESS,
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159. AND WITH FOXXY'S HANDS
STUCK IN HER HAIR,
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160. THAN A MEXICAN.
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161. HMM?
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162. WOULD TAKE A MIRACLE.
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163. WELL, HELLO,
MR. PIZZA MAN.
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164. $8.26, PLEASE,
AND THIS TIME,
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165. NO FUNNY BUSINESS.
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166. DON'T GIVE HIM
THE MONEY YET.
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167. SO I CAN DOOT ON IT.
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168. YOU KNOW, IT'D
FOR ME TO PAY YOU
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169. THE PIZZA FIRST.
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170. OH, I DO NOT SEE HOW THAT
COULD POSSIBLY BE EASIER.
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171. NOW, GIVE ME
THE MONEY FIRST!
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172. ABORT! ABORT!
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173. OK, PIZZA MAN,
WE'LL DO IT YOUR WAY.
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174. OH...
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175. DENIED ME.
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176. YOU INCOMPETENT BOOB!
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177. THE MONEY FIRST,
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178. AND NOW HE'S GONE!
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179. I CAN'T BELIEVE
I TRUSTED YOU. HMM!
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180. Pizza man: MADAM!
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181. YOU ONLY GAVE ME $5!
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182. I NEED THE FULL AMOUNT,
PLEASE.
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183. OH... YOU'RE GOOD.
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184. JUST, UH,
GIVE ME A SECOND!
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185. AW, I SEEN THIS
A MILLION TIMES.
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186. DADDY'S LITTLE GIRL
FALLS FOR SOME BAD BOY,
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187. TO PAY THE BILLS.
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188. OH, LITTLE TIMMY,
MOMMY MISSES YOU.
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189. OH, I'M GLAD
YOU CAME BACK,
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190. 'CAUSE WE GOT
A LITTLE PROBLEM.
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191. YOU SEE, I DON'T REMEMBER
ORDERING A PIZZA...
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192. WITH SAUSAGE!
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193. I...
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194. OH!
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195. BUH! OH...
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196. YOU'RE GOING
DOWNTOWN, PIG.
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197. HAVE YOU BEEN?
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198. ALL BY MYSELF.
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199. OH, WAS THAT TODAY?
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200. YES, THAT WAS TODAY!
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201. SORRY. I HAD
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202. AGAIN.
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203. BOY, THOSE MUSLIMS
ARE KOOKY, MAN.
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204. I MEAN, HAVE YOU READ
THAT KORAN?
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205. IT'S MOSTLY
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206. ABOUT ME, ABOUT US.
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207. WHAT? WHAT?
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208. I WAS PRETTY.
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209. NO, I DIDN'T.
DRESS UP FOR ME!
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210. JUST THAT ONE TIME.
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211. OH, FORGET IT.
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212. THE COUCH.
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213. XANDIR!
I SAID COUCH!
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214. WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?
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215. THE MINIMUM WAGE PIZZA MAN,
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216. GOING TO JAIL.
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217. SHIVVING MY CELLMATE.
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218. A PRINCESS SHOULD NEVER DO,
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219. AND THAT'S WHY
I LIKED IT SO MUCH.
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220. WHAT A RUSH!
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221. YOU KNOW, I, UH, HATE
TO ADMIT IT,
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222. BUT, UH, YOU HANDLED
YOURSELF LIKE A PRO.
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223. SO, CLARA,
WHO BAILED US OUT?
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224. WHAT? DIDN'T I SEE YOU
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225. WITH OUR ROOMMATES?
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226. WELL, ACTUALLY,
OF SOME OTHER BUSINESS.
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227. I'M SORRY, MAN,
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228. BUT WE DIDN'T
ORDER 20 PIZZAS
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229. AND DOODY ON THEM.
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230. OH, BUT IT SAYS RIGHT HERE
ON THE RECEIPT.
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231. LOOK OUT!
HE'S GOT A RECEIPT!
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232. PLEASE! NO! AAH!
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233. AAH! AAH! AAH! OH...
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234. YOU SUCK!
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235. THEY SHOT HIM.
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236. OH...
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237. BAIL US OUT?
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238. I DID.
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239. FATHER?
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240. AND YOU!
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241. FROM MY DAUGHTER.
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242. WAIT!
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243. I'M TAKING YOU
BACK TO THE CASTLE.
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244. BUT, FATHER—
BUT NOTHING!
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245. I CAN'T GO HOME NOW.
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246. I'M FINALLY LEARNING
ABOUT THE REAL ME.
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247. PLEASE?
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248. OH... OK, MY DEAR.
YOU MAY STAY,
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249. ON THAT PIG AGAIN.
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250. NO! DON'T STAB MY EYES!
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251. COME ON. JUST
IN THE EYE.
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252. STABBING IN THE EYE.
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253. NO, FATHER.
NO FORKING.
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254. SEE SPANKY AGAIN, OK?
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255. FORKY POKEY PROMISE?
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256. NO! JUST A PROMISE.
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257. BECAUSE YOU TRUST ME.
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258. RIGHT, FATHER?
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259. HMM. FINE. OK.
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260. I DO TRUST YOU.
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261. OH, FATHER,
THANK YOU.
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262. AH HA!
2 FOR FLINCHING.
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263. OW!
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264. WOW, WOOLDOOR,
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265. I'VE EVER HAD.
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266. Captain Hero:
AFTER OUR LITTLE SPAT,
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267. WILL THAT WOOLDOOR FELLA.
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268. TO MAKE ME JEALOUS.
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269. I CAN'T IMAGINE
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270. WITH ANYONE,
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271. OR OTHERWISE.
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272. Captain Hero: AND
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273. HIS PLAN WAS SUPER WORKING.
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274. HEY, XANDIR,
LISTEN,
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275. I HAVE SOME, UH,
TO ME,
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276. AND IF
YOU'RE INTERESTED,
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277. I'M UP FOR A LITTLE
ZOO ACTION TOMORROW.
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278. YEAH!
OH, GREAT!
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279. TO THE ZOO TOMORROW!
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280. YOU KNOW, JUST ME AND
YOU AND NOT WOOLDOOR.
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281. OH...
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282. IF ANYBODY NEEDS ME,
I'LL BE IN THE CLOCK TOWER.
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283. NOW, CLARA,
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284. BOYISHLY HANDSOME PIG?
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285. YES, FATHER.
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286. I SHALL MISS YOU.
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287. MMM!
MMM!
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288. MWAH!
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289. FINE, IF CLARA WANTS
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290. AND NEVER SEE ME AGAIN,
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291. THEN SCREW HER, RIGHT?
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292. WITH THE PIZZA MAN.
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293. TO THE PIZZA?
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294. TASTY AND DELICIOUS!
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295. SO YOU CAN
SHIT ON IT?
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296. WHERE YOU STAND!
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297. UNH!
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298. AAH!
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299. THAT YOU'D NEVER
SEE ME AGAIN.
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300. I KNOW I DID.
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301. AND, YES, I'M SCARED
TO DEFY MY FATHER.
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302. BUT I'M EVEN MORE SCARED
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303. THE WAY I DO...
WHEN I'M WITH YOU.
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304. AW, BABY, LET'S DO IT.
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305. WHAT? YOU MEAN—
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306. YES. I'LL ORDER THE PIZZA.
THEN YOU'LL DOOT ON IT.
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307. THEN WE'LL SAY
WE DIDN'T ORDER SAUSAGE.
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308. I CAN'T.
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309. I MEAN, I WANT TO.
I REALLY DO,
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310. BUT I'M
JUST A PRINCESS.
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311. THAT'S YOUR FATHER
TALKING, CLARA.
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312. COME ON. TAKE MY HAND.
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313. LET ME TEACH YOU.
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314. THIS IS A PIZZA BOX.
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315. ALL RIGHT, HEAD UP,
BACK STRAIGHT,
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316. BREATHE.
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317. EYES CLOSED.
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318. NOW, FEEL THE POO
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319. YOUR DIGESTIVE SYSTEM.
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320. RELAX, RELAX.
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321. NOW, VISUALIZE EMPTYING
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322. ONTO THE PIZZA.
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323. CAN YOU SEE IT?
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324. OH, MY GOD!
I CAN SEE IT!
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325. I CAN SEE MYSELF...
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326. ONTO THE PIZZA.
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327. MMM...
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328. EVERYTHING, SPANKY.
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329. WAS AMAZING.
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330. POO HUMOR'S
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331. OF PRIORITIES,
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332. BUT NOW IT'S LIKE...
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333. NUMBER 2.
NUMBER 2.
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334. HEAR YE, HEAR YE,
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335. BURST IN UNEXPECTEDLY.
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336. CLARA? CLARA?
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337. FATHER, I DIDN'T
EXPECT YOU HERE.
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338. FATHER,
WHAT'S HAPPENED TO YOU?
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339. ON MY JOURNEY HOME,
I WAS CARRIAGE-JACKED.
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340. IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD,
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341. YOU ASKING FOR TROUBLE.
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342. IT WAS HORRIBLE.
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343. THEY TOOK MY CARRIAGE,
MY HORSES, MY CROWN,
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344. BUT NOT MY INNOCENCE.
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345. NO, I LOST THAT
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346. HIS JOUSTING INSTRUCTOR.
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347. ANYTHING.
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348. WHO COULD'VE
DONE THIS?
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349. LIKE HIS!
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350. GUARD, GRAB HIM!
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351. FATHER! NO!
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352. CROWNY, IT WASN'T ME.
I DON'T STEAL CARRIAGES.
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353. I STEAL SCENES.
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354. OH, AND I SUPPOSE
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355. OTHER DISGUSTING PIG.
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356. I DON'T
REMEMBER ANYTHING.
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357. HAD A DRINK OR TWO.
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358. ARE YOU CALLING ME A LIAR?
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359. PIG, I FIND YOU
GUILTY.
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360. OFF WITH HIS HEAD!
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361. OH, YOU GOT THE TICKETS
FOR THE ZOO?
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362. WHAT? I THOUGHT
YOU HAD THEM.
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363. OH, XANDIR...
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364. OH, YOU TRICK ME
LIKE THAT AGAIN,
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365. AND I'LL
FUCKING KILL YOU.
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366. LOOK OUT, ZOO!
HERE WE COME!
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367. I'LL GET IT.
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368. WHY DON'T YOU
WAIT IN THE CAR?
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369. THE WINDOWS A BIT.
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370. LING-LING'S BEEN
IN THERE ALL DAY.
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371. COMMISSIONER? HI!
HOW'S THE LITTLE ONE?
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372. WHAT'S HE NOW, LIKE, 11?
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373. OH, I REMEMBER
BEING THAT AGE.
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374. NOT A GIRL,
NOT YET A WOMAN.
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375. WHAT?
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376. WITH HATS?
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377. OH... OH...
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378. UNH! OH...
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379. EVERYONE!
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380. AND 10...
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381. 9, 8, 7...
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382. I KNEW SPANKY COULDN'T
CARRIAGE-JACKED FATHER,
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383. SPENT THE NIGHT TOGETHER.
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384. BUT IF I TOLD FATHER THAT,
HE'D NEVER FORGIVE ME.
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385. 3...
9...
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386. 5...
4...
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387. WAIT!
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388. FATHER, PLEASE.
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389. IT WASN'T SPANKY.
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390. THAT WILL CLEAR HIS NAME.
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391. SPANKY COULDN'T
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392. WHO CARRIAGE-JACKED FATHER,
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393. THE NIGHT TOGETHER.
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394. EH?
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395. OH, CLARA,
HOW COULD YOU?
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396. I TRUSTED YOU.
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397. I COULDN'T BELIEVE
DISOBEYED ME.
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398. SHE LEFT ME NO CHOICE.
I HAD TO TAKE HER HOME.
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399. NO, FATHER, NO!
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400. THEN CLARA PROTESTED,
BUT, YOU KNOW,
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401. IT WAS TOO LATE.
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402. SO, MY MIND HAD
BEEN MADE UP ANYWAY.
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403. FATHER, TALK TO HIM.
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404. OH, NO. I'M NOT GETTING
IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS.
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405. YOU READY, BUDDY?
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406. AS I'LL EVER BE.
HEH HEH.
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407. UH, WHO WAS THAT
ON THE PHONE?
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408. OH, IT WAS, UM, WORK.
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409. OH. WAS IT IMPORTANT?
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410. YEAH.
IT WAS IMPORTANT...
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411. TO A GAY FRIEND.
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412. NOW, LET'S VISIT THE
HELL OUT OF THAT ZOO!
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413. AAH!
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414. CAPTAIN HERO,
WHERE ARE YOU?
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415. I'M DOING THIS
FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.
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416. FROM "A," THIS HOUSE.
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417. WELL, THEN,
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418. THIS IS GOOD-BYE.
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419. WELL, THEN,
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420. THAT'S THE DOORBELL.
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421. WELL, THEN,
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422. I GUESS THAT'S
THE PIZZA MAN.
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423. DO YOU WANT?
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424. A PIZZA.
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425. THAT WOULD BE ME.
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426. IN THE CORNER.
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427. CLARA, DON'T YOU DARE!
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428. UH...
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429. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF,
CLARA.
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430. SAYS DON'T DO,
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431. I SAY... DOO DOO.
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432. NO, NO. DON'T.
LET HER BE.
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433. THAT WILL BE $8.26,
PLEASE.
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434. OF COURSE IT WILL.
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435. I'VE EVER SEEN!
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436. OFF WITH HIS HEAD!
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437. WAIT!
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438. I MUST SAY.
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439. SAY IT, BABY.
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440. I DON'T REMEMBER
ORDERING THIS PIZZA...
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441. WITH SAUSAGE!
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442. YOU SUCK.
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443. CLARA,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
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444. I AM LAUGHING,
FATHER.
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445. LAUGHING!
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446. MY GOODNESS, YOU ARE.
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447. I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU
SO HAPPY.
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448. BECAUSE I'VE NEVER
BEEN SO HAPPY.
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449. OH, CLARA,
THAT IS ALL I'VE
EVER WANTED FOR YOU.
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450. SO HAPPY.
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451. OH, FATHER,
I LOVE YOU.
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452. I LOVE YOU, TOO.
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453. MMM...
OH...
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454. MMM...
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455. You smell like your mother.
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456. OH, DADDY.
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457. WHAT DO YOU SAY,
CROWNY?
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458. WE GOOD?
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459. WE GOOD.
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460. HEY, YOU GUYS!
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461. THE BEST TIME AT THE ZOO.
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462. IT WAS PRETTY FUN.
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463. OH, GOSH, I JUST LOVE
HAPPY ENDINGS.
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464. OH, MY GOD, THEY'RE
WEARING HATS!
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465. ALL THE HUMANS,
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466. LEARNED FROM THEM.
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467. A BLAXICON WITH...
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468. SEETHLE BLARK.
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469. HA HA HA.
YOU SUCK.
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470. —www.ncicap.org—
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471. MMM!
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472. MMM!
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473. MMM!
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474. MMM!
MMM! MMM!
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475. MWAH!
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476. You smell like your mother.
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