Drake & Josh 4x6

Directed by Adam Weissman

Dianna Agron as Lexi • Ronobir Lahiri as Reporter #1 • Jillian Murray as Drake's Girl • Patrick Thomas O'Brien as Minister • Steve Tom as Henry Doheny

Drake and Josh meet, "The Great Doheny", and find out that he relies on his new friends a little too much because he has lost everything including his career. In an attempt to get his career back for him, Drake and Josh find themselves in a tough situation.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. I'LL NEVER FORGET THE FIRST TIME I EVER DID A MAGIC TRICK. I'LL NEVER FORGET THE FIRST TIME I EVER KISSED A GIRL.

2. IT WAS THIS TRICK CALLED THE DISAPPEARING BOTTLE. THE GIRL'S NAME WAS DAFLENE. SEE, THE TRICK IS YOU TOUCH

3. A SODA BOTTLE TO YOUR HEAD AND IT DISAPPEARS RIGHT BEFORE YOUR EYES. SEE, THE TRICK IS, YOU JUST

4. GOTTA FIND A CUTE GIRL WITH REALLY SOFT LIPS AND NOTHIN' TO DO. OBSERVE AS I TOUCH THE BOTTLE

5. TO MY HEAD, AND WATCH IT DISAPPEAR. HEY, I'M DRAKE. JOSHA KAZAM!

6. M-MAYBE I SHOULD PRACTICE SOME MORE. MAYBE YOU SHOULD PRACTICE SOME MORE.

7. SO, LIKE SIX WEEKS LATER, I GO TO THE DOCTOR AND HE TAKES THE CAST OFF MY ARM, RIGHT? SO I GO HOME THINKIN'

8. EVERYTHING'S FINE. BUT THEN 2 DAYS LATER, I'M IN MY ALGEBRA II CLASS, LIKE TOTALLY BORED, SO I START

9. FLAPPIN' MY HAND AROUND AND I FIND OUT MY WRIST MAKES THIS FUNNY SOUND...

10. WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT? I'M SHOWING 'EM HOW MY WRIST MAKES THAT FUNNY SOUND WHEN I FLAP IT.

11. WALK AWAY. THAT WASN'T NICE. LOOK, THOSE TWO HAVE JOBS TO

12. DO HERE, OK? AND HELEN DOESN'T LIKE IT WHEN EMPLOYEES— YAAAAAHHH! THAT'S HENRY DOHENY!

13. HE'S ONE OF THE GREATEST MAGICIANS OF ALL TIME! HE WAS BLAINE DARVEY'S MENTOR! HEY, WHEN WE GET HOME, WOULD

14. YOU MAKE ME SOME PUDDING? PARDON ME. MR. DOHENY. YES.

15. HAVE WE MET BEFORE? N-NO, I-I'M JUST A HUGE FAN OF YOUR MAGIC, SIR.

16. I REMEMBER, I WAS ONLY SEVEN WHEN MY DAD TOOK ME TO SEE YOU AT THE SAN DIEGO MEGA DOME AND I-

17. NEVER SEEN ANYONE DO THIS?

18. IF YOU OPEN UP YOUR MIND, IT'S GONNA TAKE SOME TIME TO REALIZE, BUT IF YOU LOOK INSIDE,

19. I'M SURE YOU'LL FIND, OVER YOUR SHOULDER, YOU KNOW THAT I TOLD YOU I'LL ALWAYS BE PICKING YOU UP

20. I'M UP, I'M UP, I'M UP, I'M UP, I'M UP! CARRY ON. I APOLOGIZE FOR COLLAPSING. IT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT.

21. WELL, IT'S—IT'S SUCH AN HONOR TO MEET YOU, MR. DOHENY. I'M JOSH NICHOLS AND THIS IS MY BROTHER DRAKE.

22. HENRY DOHENY. YEAH. I KNOW. SO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN SAN DIEGO?

23. WELL, THEY'VE JUST BUILT A NEW BARNYARD BURGER DOWN BY THE PIER, AND THEY'VE INVITED ME TO CUT THE RIBBON AT THE GRAND

24. OPENING. OH, COOL. YOU KNOW, MR. DOHENY... UM... I'M SORT OF

25. AN AMATEUR MAGICIAN MYSELF. COULD I SHOW YOU A TRICK? BY ALL MEANS. OK! UM...

26. I WILL JUST TAKE THIS ORDINARY QUARTER AND...

27. WHERE'D IT GO? WELL, IF YOU LOOK BEHIND HENRY'S EAR. OH, WHERE IS IT? WHERE—OH, OH! HA HA HA!

28. OHH! Y-Y-Y-YOUR EAR'S BLEEDING! WHAT'D I DO? YOU'VE DONE NOTHING WRONG,

29. JOSH. IT'S NOT REAL BLOOD. CONSIDER YOURSELF COUNTER-TRICKED. SEE?

30. OH! OH! OH, THAT IS GREAT. OH! MMM! HEY, LISTEN, HENRY—HENRY, IF YOU NEED ANYTHING WHILE YOU'RE

31. IN TOWN, LET ME GIVE YOU ALL MY INFO. WELL, THAT'S VERY KIND OF YOU, JOSH. YOU KNOW, YOU'RE A

32. DELIGHTFULLY AWKWARD YOUNG MAN. AH. EVERYBODY SAYS THAT. HERE YOU GO. THANK YOU.

33. WELL, I'M OFF. DRAKE, JOSH. UHHH... IS THAT BLOOD ALL OVER YOUR FACE?

34. OH. WELL, SEE— I DON'T CARE.

35. YOU'LL GET IT.

36. HENRY, HI! HELLO, JOSH. I WAS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD AND REMEMBERED YOUR KIND INVITATION

37. OF YESTERDAY, SO... HOW ABOUT LUNCH? I WAS THINKING YOU COULD PREPARE ME A SANDWICH WHICH I

38. COULD THEN EAT. YEAH, YEAH, SURE, I'D LOVE TO MAKE YOU A SANDWICH. MEGAN, COME HERE!

39. HI. WHAT? MEGAN, THIS IS HENRY DOHENY. I'M GONNA GO MAKE HIM A SANDWICH WITH SOME CRINKLE-CUT

40. FRIES AND YOU KEEP HIM COMPANY. HENRY DOHENY... DIDN'T YOU USED TO BE LIKE A REALLY FAMOUS MAGICIAN?

41. HMM. WHY DON'T YOU REACH INTO THAT DECORATIVE TRASH CAN AND TELL ME?

42. AHH! A BUNNY! HER NAME IS COOKIE. IF YOU HOLD HER CLOSE, SHE'LL

43. LICK YOUR NOSE. OH, MY GOD, THIS IS THE CUTEST BUNNY I'VE EVER SEEN. CAN I KEEP HER?

44. I INSIST. THANKS. YOU'RE SO CUTE.

45. PICK A CARD. FINE. NOW WHAT? PUT IT BACK.

46. VERY GOOD. SO... WHAT'S MY CARD? COUGH.

47. NOW, OPEN IT UP.

48. IS THAT YOUR CARD? YEAH, BUT COULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR AND NOT MAKE THINGS COME OUTTA MY BODY?

49. ONE BIG SANDWICH AND A SIDE OF CRINKLE-CUT FRIES FOR HENRY DOHENY. AND BEAUTIFULLY PREPARED.

50. DOHENY! DO YOU HAVE ANY PIE?

51. YOU ARE STILL READING THAT MAGAZINE? YES. OPRAH'S GONE SLEEVELESS. YEAH, SHE'S A HERO.

52. GO TO BED. OH, YEAH, IT'S ALMOST MIDNIGHT. TIME TO JAMMIE IT UP. DOHENY!

53. AAH! HENRY—HENRY, HOW'D YOU GET IN OUR ROOM? YEAH. I'M CALLING THE COPS.

54. DRAKE! LOOK, WHAT DO YOU WANT? WELL, I KNOW OF THIS LITTLE CLUB DOWNTOWN WHERE YOU CAN HEAR

55. THE MOST TITILLATING FUSION JAZZ, AND I THOUGHT YOU GENTLEMEN MIGHT LIKE TO JOIN ME. THEY HAVE ONION RINGS.

56. I DON'T KNOW. IT'S PRETTY LATE. I DON'T KNOW IF OUR PARENTS WOULD LET US GO— HEY, JOSH,

57. DO YOU HAVE ANY FOOT CREAM I COULD—AREN'T YOU— HENRY DOHENY. I THOUGHT SO!

58. I'VE BEEN A FAN OF YOUR MAGIC EVER SINCE I WAS A TEENAGER. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

59. HE HID IN OUR CLOSET AND NOW HE'S TRYING TO GET ME AND JOSH TO GO TO SOME FUSION JAZZ CLUB WITH HIM DOWNTOWN.

60. THE ONE WITH THE ONION RINGS? THE VERY SAME. OH, CAN I COME?

61. THE MORE, THE MAGIC-ER. I'LL GO GET MY KEYS. I'LL PUT ON SOME FRESH PANTS! I'LL BE GLAD WHEN YOU'RE ALL

62. GONE. HAVE YOU SEEN MY PANTS? DRAKE, DRAKE! THE MAGIC TRAIN IS LEAVING! HAVE YOU SEEN MY

63. PANTS?

64. HEY, WHY ARE THOSE GUYS WEARING TOGAS? THEY'RE HERE TO SEE THAT MOVIE ABOUT ANCIENT ROME.

65. OH. WHERE IS ROME? ROMANIA? HEY, YOU EVER SEEN ANYONE DO THIS?

66. THAT'S AWESOME! HEY, DO YOU KNOW I CAN STICK MY WHOLE FIST IN MY MOUTH? YOU CANNOT.

67. WATCH. ANYONE FOR PUTT-PUTT? NOT NOW. SHE'S ABOUT TO PUT HER WHOLE

68. FIST IN HER MOUTH. AH, THAT WOULD BE SOME TRICK. WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE A BETTER ONE?

69. NO. SURE. VERY WELL. FIRST I'LL NEED...

70. THIS...

71. OH! GOD!

72. ONE... TWO... DOE-THREENIE! WHAT'D YOU DO WITH HER?

73. HA HA HA! A GOOD MAGICIAN NEVER REVEALS HIS SECRETS. JOSH! DUDE! WHAT?

74. YOUR MAGIC FRIEND JUST MADE MY DATE DISAPPEAR! MAN, I'M SICK OF THAT GUY ALWAYS BEIN' AROUND.

75. I KNOW, HE'S STARTIN' TO BUG ME, TOO. I'M GONNA GO TALK TO HIM. HURRY.

76. PUTT, PUTT, PUTT, PUTT, PUTT. UH, HENRY... COULD I TALK TO YOU FOR A SEC? WELL, OF COURSE.

77. RIGHT OVER THERE. LISTEN, HENRY, YOU'RE AN AWESOME GUY. OK, A-A-AND ONE OF THE WORLD'S BEST

78. MAGICIANS— SAVE YOUR BREATH, JOSH. I KNOW WHERE THIS TRAIN'S HEADED. YOU DON'T WANT ME AROUND

79. ANYMORE. NO ONE DOES. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? YOU'RE FAMOUS.

80. THEY JUST PAID YOU TO OPEN UP THAT BARNYARD BURGER PLACE. THEY DIDN'T PAY ME. I ONLY WENT THERE BECAUSE I HAD

81. A COUPON. NO ONE'S PAID ME TO APPEAR ANYWHERE IN OVER 10 YEARS. COME ON.

82. IT'S TRUE. I HAVE NOTHING. NOTHING TO DO, NOWHERE TO GO. THESE ARE MY ONLY PANTS.

83. OH, HI. EXCUSE ME. HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN A GIRL, ABOUT YAY HIGH? POSSIBLY A FIST IN HER MOUTH? HI, HI. EXCUSE ME.

84. HAVE YOU SEEN A GIRL, ABOUT 5'3"? POSSIBLY FIST IN HER MOUTH? NO? COME ON. OH, HEY.

85. DID YOU TALK TO DOHENY, TELL HIM TO STOP HANGIN' AROUND ALL THE TIME? YEAH.

86. AND? HE'S GONNA BE STAYING AT OUR HOUSE FOR THE NEXT COUPLE OF MONTHS.

87. GOOD—WHAT? DUDE, HOW COULD YOU HAVE DONE THAT? YOU KNOW I CAN'T— I CAN'T DO—

88. HOW'D I GET IN HERE?

89. HEY, WOULD YOU TOSS ME MY SLIPPERS?

90. YOU KNOW, IF YOU'RE ANGRY ABOUT THIS, WHY DON'T YOU JUST SAY SO? I'M ANGRY ABOUT THIS. I DON'T GET IT. WHY CAN'T DOHENY

91. SLEEP IN THE GUEST ROOM? 'CAUSE DAD DOESN'T WANT TO MOVE HIS TRAIN SET. OH, COME ON, JUST SHOW ME ONE

92. TRICK. OH, VERY WELL. PUT YOUR HANDS OUT AND CLOSE YOUR EYES.

93. HANDS OUT, EYES CLOSED. HA HA! THIS IS SO EXCITING. NOW IT'S TIME FOR ME TO BED... BUT FIRST FOR YOU, A SHINY HEAD.

94. DOHENY!

95. HA HA! CHECK ME OUT! HONEY! MR. DOHENY MADE ME BALD! WELL, NOW THAT YOUR FATHER IS HAIRLESS AND GIDDY,

96. WHAT SAY WE HIT THE HAY? WHAT'S THAT? OH, THIS IS MY SLEEP APNEA MACHINE. I HAVE A TERRIBLE

97. PROBLEM WITH SNORING. KILL ME. BUT WITH THIS, I DON'T SNORE A PEEP.

98. NIGHT, HENRY.

99. ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT! DRAKE! DON'T! I CAN'T SLEEP WITH THAT LEAF

100. BLOWER GOING, ALL RIGHT? WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO, PUT HIM ON THE STREET? PERFECT!

101. COME ON, HE'S GOT NOTHING! YOU CAN'T— HEY. HEY, I KNOW WHAT WE CAN DO. SO DO I.

102. HENRY—HENRY IS IN A SLUMP, RIGHT? SO? SO, HE JUST NEEDS TO GET BACK

103. ON STAGE AND SHOW EVERYONE WHAT AN INCREDIBLE MAGICIAN HE IS. YOU KNOW, PEOPLE'LL HEAR ABOUT IT, WORD'LL SPREAD, AND HE'LL

104. BECOME RICH AND FAMOUS AGAIN AND HE WON'T WANT TO HANG OUT WITH US. WELL, HOW DO I SLEEP TONIGHT?

105. LOOKS LIKE HE'S ASLEEP. LET'S JUST TURN OFF HIS MACHINE.

106. NO, NO, NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT. YOU WON'T DO A MAGIC SHOW? NO, YOU CAN'T PUT KETCHUP ON AN OMELET.

107. IT'S JUST WRONG. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT OUR IDEA OF YOU DOIN' A BIG COMEBACK MAGIC SHOW?

108. I DON'T KNOW. IT'S BEEN SUCH A LONG TIME. DRAKE AND I WILL HELP YOU. WE'LL HELP YOU SET UP THE WHOLE

109. THING. WELL, I GUESS I HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE. PERFECT!

110. THIS FRIDAY NIGHT. IF YOU SAY SO. OOH, WE'RE GONNA BE LATE FOR

111. SCHOOL. COME ON. LET'S GO. YEAH. ALL RIGHT. COME ON. OH, MY OMELET.

112. I KNOW A COOL TRICK YOU COULD DO. DO YOU? MM-HMM.

113. IT'S SOMETHING NO MAGICIAN'S EVER DONE BEFORE AND I BET IT'D PUT YOU RIGHT BACK ON TOP. DO TELL.

114. OK, GRAB THAT PAD AND PEN. DOHENY! OK. FIRST NOTE. STOP DOING THAT.

115. RIGHT.

116. LET'S DO THIS.

117. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! NICE OUTFITS! WE ARE PROUD TO INTRODUCE

118. ONE OF THE GREATEST MAGICIANS THE WORLD HAS EVER KNOWN. HENRY DOHENY! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, ONE AND

119. ALL. TONIGHT, I WILL BE PERFORMING AN ILLUSION NEVER BEFORE ATTEMPTED. PREPARE TO HAVE YOUR

120. IMAGINATIONS CHALLENGED AND YOUR FANCIES TICKLED. SPOTLIGHT! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I GIVE TO

121. YOU THE BOX OF IMPALEMENT! OOH. AND NOW... WE BEGIN!

122. SWORDS! SWORDS!

123. MORE SWORDS! MORE SWORDS!

124. NOW, SOME OF YOU MAY BE ASKING YOURSELVES... HOW COULD ANY MAN LIVE WITH FOUR SWORDS THRUST THROUGH HIS

125. BODY? WELL, DON'T ASK US. ASK... DOHENY!

126. ARE YOU POINTING AT THE RIGHT SPOT? YES, I'M POINTING TO THE

127. RIGHT SPOT! WELL, WHERE IS HE? WHAT IS GOING ON?

128. DOHENY? WE NEED A DOCTOR! I'M A DOCTOR! TURN ON THE LIGHTS!

129. HE'S DEAD.

130. WE ARE GATHERED HERE TODAY TO CELEBRATE THE WONDERFUL LIFE AND CRUEL DEATH OF THE GREAT HENRY DOHENY.

131. 20 YEARS AGO, HENRY REVOLUTIONIZED MAGIC WITH HIS LEVITATING MONKEYS, TURNING THE MOON

132. BROWN... BUT HENRY DOHENY WAS MORE THAN JUST A MAGICIAN IMPALED BEFORE HIS TIME.

133. HENRY WAS A COMPLEX MAN— DOHENY! WHAT THE—HE'S ALIVE! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!

134. HE HAD NO PULSE! YES, MY GREATEST TRICK EVER. HENRY DOHENY IS BACK FROM THE DEAD!

135. WHY DIDN'T YOU LET US IN ON THE TRICK? YEAH, WHY'D YOU SCARE US TO DEATH?

136. BOYS, IT WAS YOUR REACTIONS OF HORROR AND GUILT THAT HELPED MAKE THE ILLUSION SO CONVINCING. BRILLIANT.

137. YES. THANK YOU. YEAH, IT'S EVEN BETTER THAN THE TRANSPARENT TROUSER TRICK. WHICH REMINDS ME.

138. DOHENY! LOOK! OH, MY!

139. I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT!

140. YOU'LL GET IT. I DON'T SEE WHY—

141. NOW.

142. DOHENY. HENRY. HI, COME ON IN. YOU KNOW THEY'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT YOUR TRICK ALL OVER THE

143. NEWS. IT WAS EVEN ON GOOD MORNING TODAY. OH, I KNOW. IN FACT, I JUST SIGNED A

144. FIVE-YEAR DEAL WITH NERO'S CASTLE IN LAS VEGAS. I'LL BE PERFORMING THERE FOR HALF A DECADE TO THE TUNE OF

145. $4 MILLION. THAT'S INSANE! ISN'T IT? MEGAN... SINCE YOU THOUGHT OF THE TRICK

146. THAT PUT MY CAREER BACK ON TRACK, I THINK YOU SHOULD SHARE IN MY GOOD FORTUNE. FOR YOU.

147. A CHECK FOR $50,000? UH, WE HELPED YOU, TOO, REMEMBER? YEAH.

148. OH, I COULDN'T FORGET YOU BOYS. HERE. YO-YO'S FOR EACH OF YOU.

149. COME, LADIES. WE'RE OFF TO LAS VEGAS! OH, WAIT! MR. DOHENY. YES?

150. BEFORE YOU GO, WOULD YOU MIND PUTTING MY HAIR BACK? PEOPLE KEEP LAUGHING AT ME. YEAH, IT'S THE HAIR.

151. OF COURSE, WALTER. EYES CLOSED.

152. WHERE'D HE GO? VEGAS. MR. DOHENY, WHAT ABOUT MY HAIR?

153. BUY A WIG! HA HA HA HA! [CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE —www.ncicap.org—]